A man in Metal - 7
And more scheming by our resident human. Now he's in a phase of information gathering for inescrutable purposes.
Also, the human has an idea. You know that can't be good.
This is being the most boring night ever. No more visits and I’m sick of trying to understand the symbols these people use for communicating. Oh, god, I think I’m seeing them in the walls! Hey, that one looks like a boob, hehe.
Okay, Derek, try to go back to Earth, and stop thinking about your dick every five minutes. Oh, wait, can I say that when I’m in a spaceship? I suppose now I have my head in space. And everything else. Actually, I need to remember to ask how much time is this travel going to take. And also what they’re going to do to me once we get there… Ahh… so many questions to ask. Oh, hey, the door.
“Are you presentable, human? I’m coming in with your dinner.”
That voice is… nah, I can’t recognize voices between then, they all sound the same to me.
“Yes, as presentable as I can be, I guess.”
“Ah, good. Here I come.”
Ah, it’s Lab coat. Always nice to see someone bringing you dinner. Even if it’s a space lizard. Actually, better if it is a space lizard. She comes with two servings too, nice. She puts them in the bed.
“Human?”
“Yes?” I wish they wouldn’t call me just human. It’s like a dog being called “dog”.
“We should have actual clothes for you soon.”
“Ah, much appreciated, I’ll be glad to have something better than a bedsheet for covering myself.”
“You’re… welcome.”
“Actually, can I ask you a question?”
“Depends on what it is.”
“Eh… are you people carnivore?”
“Hmm… what a strange question. If you say for the food rations, they all have meat flavoring, at a petition of the rest of the crew, but who knows how many things are there.”
“That sounds… worrying…”
She shrugs. Apparently the quality of the food in planes (or spaceships) is as much of an overused topic in Space Lizard Land as it is at home.
“If that’s all, I’ll be out”
She scurries along, it seems she really wants to get out of here without making it look like she doesn’t want to be next to me. She’s not very good at it, regrettably. She closes the door behind her as the realization hits me. I was supposed to ask when they would reach their destination! Dang. Well, I’m sure any of the others might be able to answer me, if they even allow me to talk. No matter, it seems sleeping is the only thing I can do.
_ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -_ - - - - - Night Goes Here - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Hey, human, are you still asleep? Does your species even sleeps?”
Hmm…? Gah! What hour is it? I didn’t oversleep again, didn’t I? Wait, what am I so worried about? I don’t have a job anymore, I’m in space!
“Why can’t you let me sleep a bit longer…”
“Ah, so you ARE awake!”
“Now thanks to you…”
As I come back from the land of dreams, I see that it is PA41.
“I brought the breakfast. The Captain forces everyone into a very strict schedule, and he gets so nervous when anyone breaks his plans. Plus, this is the third time I come to wake you up, I was worried you had died or something.”
That got macabre quickly. He leaves the Space Food Dish™ in the bed and looks at me.
“Here you go. You better eat quickly, or the Captain will get angry.”
“But I just woke up…”
“Do you want to get strapped to the bed again? Or be force fed? ‘Cause the Captain will shove the freaking food down your throat for the sake of his precious schedule. And believe me, I speak from experience here.”
“…”
“…”
“I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse!”
“What’s a horse?”
I ignore him. After all, there’s food to be eaten. Also, I may be terrified of being strapped to bed again. Just a bit. Actually quite a bit. I eat the breakfast cube quickly (To be fair, the things can be eaten in two gulps, so it’s not like I can’t eat them in 10 seconds), and pass him the tray-dish thing.
“Well, that worked nicely.”
“Yeah, the use of threats of violence is usually effective.”
“I’ll take note.”
Damn my big word-spewing mouth. Quick, change the subject!
“Look, a distraction!”
“Wha?”
There, mission accomplished. Now, let’s shake him for informa-
“Is that a pickup line? Are you coming onto me?”
“Wha…?”
“If you wanted to mingle, you didn’t need to make it this awkward.”
Well, talk about a single thought process. Why do I have the sensation that he had this planned beforehand?
“I mean, I don’t know how humans ask each other to go on a romp…”
I think he has decided I’m asking him out all on his own. Still, maybe I can get something out of this…
“Hey, PA41, how about a bet?”
“A bet? Well, now this is getting interesting.”
Okay, I need to work well on this one, if I make it too crazy he’ll just back off. I may be able to entice him enough, I just need to think what he likes most…
“I bet you that you can’t make me cum in three minutes.”
Okay, let’s see if it works.
“Three? That’s unfair, how about ten?”
“Four.”
“This is not a marketplace! … Seven.”
“I’ll take it. But what do you win?”
“I assume asking to be out of the room is impossible…”
“It is.”
“So… how about if I win, you have to tell me how much time this travel will take, and what will happen to me once we get there.”
“Hmm? I don’t know if I should…”
Ehh, maybe I should have asked for something better, like a shower room or a television. Stupid lack of decision-making abilities!
“You know what? Sure, but if you lose…”
“I do whatever you want for a day.”
“!!! Yes! How did you know I was gonna say that?”
Because you’re a controlling pervert. And I’m also awesome.
The lizard start to pull off his clothes, and I do the same (Well, if I had any clothes, I mean). I lay on the bed, as usual by now, I even try to strike a pose. By the way he snickers, I guess it wasn’t very good.
“So, I’m gonna use the chronometer in my Dialer. Seven minutes… there we go. I’ll show it to you”
The Dialer in question looks totally like a tablet. It’s showing some space lizard numbers. Wait a minute…
“That’s a nine, you paryshia!”
“Eh? How did you…?”
I can read lizard numbers now, AND say swear words. My learning is giving fruit already! I feel smart now.
“Huh, when I heard you were learning my language, I didn’t think you were going to go for the insults… Drem paryshia biem.
“Eh?”
“Ha, you don’t know all of them! You still have much to learn.”
“I guess? What did you say with that anyways?”
“If you win, I tell you.”
“You should change the timer though.”
“Oh, yeah. Right.”
Trying to distract the Master of Distracting? I think not!.
“So… are we ready?”
“I’m ready whenever you are…”
The lizard kicks his lips. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…