Bloodfuckers
If ever there was I time that I loved her, it was in that instant - Holding her fur, kissing her face, and feeling the warmth of her blood as it ran down my fingers. Then I bit her head off because I don't actually have a brain. And then I fucked...
Captain Incesto and the SPAAACE BABIES
There is no Captain Incesto because I ate him. He did not give me considerable rectal distress because I possess no such rectum because I'm a skeletal dinosaur. There are no Space Babies. I can't believe you ever thought there were. I mean what the...
Sparklejizz, and the Defennecation of Prague
Precisely 3 seconds after being hurled... or actually drop-kicked... out of a fourth-story window of a red-roofed mansion, Sparklejizz - the douchiest fennec ever - began to wonder where he had gone wrong in his adorable, albeit totally stupid...
Warrior Sorcerors in the Gay Analvore Kingdom of the Eevee Atmosphere
The day I embarked on the quest to save the hermaphroditic vampire pony princess was the same day I learned how to stick both hands inside my rectum. First I had to hump my way through the Fields of Randomized Battles. This part of the journey was...
How I Got Banned From PonyCon
I solve problems with my crotch Problems such as: opening the lids of jars, sipping tea and sewing scrotums to pillows. Neither the scrotums nor the pillows are mine. _(Exeunt)_
They Say This is Also What Happened to Henry Ford
_Terrible decisions are made under the influence of lust_, the Pornographier mused. Yet this truism had provided no obstacle or dissuasion in the pursuit of what hundreds of bored and sexually miswired men (mostly) had previously sought to obtain -...
Neoteny is Monotony
April the 3rd is the day when she took off her shirt and I discovered that my dog-headed wife of twenty years had testicles for boobs. I was 19. I was married about a year before actually being born and so was "she" (if you could still call her that,...