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When Xander reached Sean's hospital hallway Neal was

standing off to the side. Xander broke away from everyone to talk with him."Hey is Fred going to make it?" Xander asked."No, Ashley, and Rachel's pretrial hearing is

tomorrow," Neal said with a yawn."You look like you need a coffee, so do I, want to

get one with me, my treat?" Xander asked."If you're trying to seduce me, you may have found

my weakness," Neal said.Xander thought, "What should I say to get him to

open up?"The gentle giant followed him to the cafeteria, Xander asked,

"Neal did you ever get over it?"Neal missed a step, and asked, "Over what?""That camp," Xander said, "I am worried

about Sean, and you."Neal walked beside him not speaking till they reached the

empty cafeteria, "Well there's avoiding the issue and going on with your

life and getting over it.""Oliver said the same thing about getting shunned

and having things like what happened to Sean," Xander said."He was sent to a camp too?" Neal said as they

went to an automatic coffee dispenser.Xander swiped his debit card then said, "no the

other thing.""Oh shit, so you want my perspective on the camp

because you have Oliver's on the other?" Neal asked."Yeah Sean said a few things and did a few things,

that I've never seen before, while he was having the meds interaction," Xander

said."It could just be the meds," Neal said and took

his cup."And if it isn't, he was acting like he had done

things he hadn't," Xander said."Fine, for you and for Sean, I'll talk about it,

Fred's been demanding I open up to someone else if I can't with him," Neal

said."Why don't you guys talk about it?" Xander asked

then grabbed his coffee as well."Because the camp was an aversion therapy camp, they

spent months fucking with our minds," Neal said while walking to a nearby

table."I don't know anything about what happened Sean's said

nothing, but apparently it's why he rarely has sex and can't be with

canids," Xander said."Well aversion therapies are mostly bullshit and

can't get you averse to much of anything, but the director, he was a

behavioralist and religious nut case," Neal said."So it works or it doesn't?" Xander asked."Sorta, their treatment doesn't change what you want

or make you want women," Neal said."If it doesn't make you straight what's the

point?" Xander asked then sipped his coffee."Like I said a religious nut, you don't need to be

straight, they just want you to stop acting out those sinful behaviors,"

Neal said then drained half of his coffee."And he could do that?" Xander asked."Yeah they trained my brain to go soft... I can now

keep a boner even if an Otter or Canid comes to mind but I have been

practicing, but it's just easier because I fell in love with a ram," Neal said."What happens if it comes to mind?" Xander asked."Just an anxiety response, but Sean also bought into

the religious side of it all. I'm not Pack, I grew up with my parents talking

about the Ever Present Tide, you know the energy of the universe, but then

there marriage fell apart and dad married a controlling religious wing nut and

I got sent to the camp," Neal said, now he only sipped at the coffee."So Sean bought into it?" Xander asked."For the first couple weeks, we were roomies for the

camp because neither had a history of interest in each other's species,"

Neal said."Your sharing a lot thank you Neal," Xander said,

"need any more coffee?""I'm compartmentalizing right now I might need to

vent on you when I stop, and another coffee would be great," Neal said

then sucked down the rest of his coffee."Vent how?" Xander asked while he walked to the

coffee dispenser."I'll just need to yell in an angry rage for a

while," Neal said.Xander froze, he had never heard Neal raise his voice,

the thought of him yelling in a rage was too alien to him, he smiled over at

Neal thinking it was a joke, but Neal's dower muzzle disturbed Xander more then

he wanted to let on."So Sean believed they could help, what changed his

mind?" Xander said."Just a hug," Neal said staring woodenly at a

wall.Xander brought over the refills and asked, "So it

was seen and it was not allowed?" "Yes we were seen and, No! It wasn't allowed, I had

been there a couple weeks and had kinda mentally checked out, you know I'm a

hugger and physical guy, so is Sean," Neal said.Xander said, "Well your both guys, but it was just

a-""It is an abomination, you are making yourself an

abomination, you know where the Alpha said that, and what it means! I know you

do my boys," Neal said affecting the voice of a fire and brimstone

preacher but with a quaver in it."So you gave him a hug or he gave you one?" Xander

asked."He gave me a hug, he was their mindless little pet

and was just taking sympathy on my Litterday. I'm so much taller than him he

was reaching up and I had to bend down, we were accused of kissing," Neal said

while damp fur grew on each side of his maw."So what did they do? Neal I need to know?" Xander

asked."You remember that psych class the three of us took

together?" Neal asked."Yeah but what does that have to do with it?" Xander

asked."Do you remember the one time Sean and I

skipped?" Neal asked intermittent tremors were coursing through him.Xander was confused but Neal wasn't being more

forthcoming, "...the Milgram prison experiment?" Xander said when he realized.Neal sat paws tightly clasped as if he could compress the

tremors out of his body."That was psychological and physical torture," Xander

hissed as an anger Xander had never known before writhed in his belly.Neal still wasn't responding."What did they do to you?... Neal can you hear

me?... Shit," Xander said he got up and paced the cafeteria.On his third circuit Neal said behind him from the table,

"after they thought we kissed they put us in sensory deprivation tanks, it

was the first time I ever hated the water.""Then what...Neal?" Xander asked while he

rushed back to the table."It was like they forgot about us till a speaker said,

'Thou shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an

abomination.' Then more silence. It went on I don't know how long I got hungry,

and I started looking forward to the message because then they couldn't have

forgot about me... but they wouldn't let me out no matter how much I scratched

or pounded on the tank. But they had to be watching. When I took in a lungful

they pulled me out and I got sent home," Neal said uncontrollably shaking."You tried to kill yourself," Xander said

throwing away his crumpled coffee cup, and rinsed his paws off in the sink."Yeah... 'abomination begets abomination you are

beyond our help, may the Alpha have mercy on you,'" Neal said in that same

quaver, then rose and stood by the wall in a kind of half corner by the

counter, then he continued, "I didn't see or hear from Sean till that

summer, I memorized his address and wrote him a letter.""Neal other than the isolation tanks what did they

do?" Xander asked and stood in front of Neal trapping him in the corner."Xander they hurt me... they hurt us," Neal

stammered clenching and unclenching his fists."Neal how did they hurt you?" Xander asked."I... I can't say," Neal stammered."Neal tell me, I need to know," Xander said."They made us feel pain if we got horny," Neal said

and covered his whole muzzle."Neal how did they hurt you?" Xander asked and

stepped even closer placing a reassuring paw on Neal's arm."You want to know?" Neal snapped grabbing Xander

by the throat and slamming him against the wall, legs dangling off the ground."You'd like that, knowing, you little bitch,"

Neal said, Xander was too stunned and barely flailed at Neal's powerful arms."What the fuck Neal get off him!" Pence yelled

across the empty cafeteria.Neal's ears fell back in realization and he dropped Xander,

slumping in a hyperventilation back into his corner.Xander was raggedly gulping down air, from the wind being

knocked out of him, when Pence came and checked Xander's throat."You're lucky your larynx wasn't crushed... what the

fuck was that?... I'll get security." Pence said."No don't its fine now, it's my fault," Xander

wheezed."Like hell it's your fault," Pence snapped

glaring at Neal.Neal wept in his corner tail wrapped around his knees,

"I'm sorry Xander, I... I'm so sorry."In Neal's words Xander only heard Sean, "I won't do

it again, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry. Can you ever forgive me? Thank you, you

don't know how much that means to me."Xander wanted to run back to Sean and make him know he

was loved and forgiven, but he was too light headed to move and Neal needed him

now too."No Pence, Neal didn't mean too," Xander said."I didn't, I'm sorry... this is why I can't talk

about it," Neal sobbed.

Xander scooted next to Neal taking his paw, Neal

broke into sobs his full weight collapsing on Xander as Pence watched confused

and dubious.