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Unknown Within 4

I sighed and felt like I was melting. Like I was literally becoming a puddle. It was all ok now. He is here, my angelic incubus, my majestic being. All I needed now was to be coherent enough to avoid messing this up.

.-.-.-

"So, Raphael, if I am going to properly answer any question or talk at all, I'm gonna have to figure out where to fix my eyes. I don't think I can do this with my eyes closed so I have a bit of a dilemma." I confessed, feeling very foolish after that.

"If my eyes are so distracting, maybe look at the tree behind me." He said, doing a shrug as if to suggest what tree to look at.

"Don't take me wrong" I said, trying to focus on it. I actually felt like I could concentrate. "You are frankly amazing looking. And I don't want to just sit here and keep telling you over and over that you are beautiful."

Raphael chuckled. "Well, I can gather you are fairly honest, if you are telling me this. A lot of demons act differently around us blue-bloods." He sighed and gave me a look of true confusion. " I don't entirely grasp why."

"I see. Well, I don't know how to act in any way other than like myself." As I say that, I get lost in his eyes again.

"Dose, I-" Raphael started, but paused. "Oh."

He stared at me. "I'm starting to notice when you are, as you put it, getting lost in my eyes." He said with a smirk and an amused tone.

I forced myself to focus on the tree again. "Yes." I acknowledge. "Yes." I say again, feeling like a fool.

"Can't say I'm bothered. I could say it is.. refreshing, even. I am constantly surrounded by rigid rules and strict demons. I was bored of it, you know? Sitting here in the forest like a pair of fools is in its own way, relaxing to me." Raphael told me, with warmth in the tone of his voice.

"Truly? Well... I'm glad." I told him. "Raphael. Last night, up in the sky. That was you, right? After you crossed my path, well... I was changed." Raphael was listening intently to my words. I look at him, leaning closer to him.

"I wanted to see you again. And now, you are here. You saved me from my first encounter with Manticores. And now I'm coping with an intense feeling, one that in words can only be described as wanting you so bad it hurts." I told Raphael, and felt myself shaking a little.

"It is a bit scary. In part because I was not expecting it to happen. I had thought that... if it was ever to happen, I was not expecting to meet you so soon after that encounter." I added.

Raphael leaned closer as well. I felt his fur against mine. "Well, I don't feel the same way. I don't feel changed by meeting you, and I don't want you as badly as you want me. I don't find you as beautiful as you find me. But I still want to get to know you."

"I'm not sure what you'll think when I tell you this, but what I feel right now is impossible to be imitated by anyone else, I think." I told him and felt my ears become very warm.

"If you mean that the feeling is so intense that it will never be matched in intensity, then I think you are being... very hyperbolic." He chuckled and looked up.

"No, I don't feel the same way as you. But I feel like we have a very unique opportunity, right now. This meeting is the beginning of something I feel will be very important for us. It could be very important for demonkind, who knows."

I looked at Raphael. "I could interpret that in many ways. What I can say to that is that whatever you have in mind, I will devote myself completely to making it the best it can be."

Raphael beamed at me. "Yes, good. I like that attitude." He stood and looked around, then back at me.

I looked down. "Raphael. I honestly feel like I have been unfairly graced by your presence. I don't feel like this is the way things should be, and I don't know why."

"Well, you shouldn't spurn your good fortune. I don't think I'm so special to merit all of your intense feeling, anyway."

"To me you are the most special being I know, but I just met you. I really haven't seen the world. I don't think I've seen anything or have known anybody, really." And the words felt like the had a depth of unfathomable proportions.

Raphael approaches me and offers a hand. I take it and he pulls me up, then into an embrace. He feels soft and warm, with a firmness to him because of his musculature. I squeeze him and am completely subjugated by the feeling of comfort that washes over me. Then he moves me back a bit and locks his lips with mine.

.-.-.-.-

I feel like my insides explode. My vision becomes black, then white. Then nothing, no color, no anything. Just the feeling his kiss and his warmth. The feeling of his hard cock pressing against mine.

.-.-.-.-.

We both sigh, our tones complementing each other.

"Well, I've been wanting to do that for a while now. All this time you've been sitting there, actually. So there." Raphael said, still holding me. He sighed, then continued. "Dose, I think you and I are awakening. We might be at this point very heavily influenced by the experiences of the humans we have fed upon."

"Awakening?" I said out-loud, not asking him, but pondering the word. It rings true in ways I can't describe.

"It is part of the life of all of us incubi and succubi, I think. I was scared as I slowly realized that there were things that I wanted to find out. A feeling so bad that it ripped me from the life I had, a good life. What I was feeling was a sense of great meaninglessness."

I felt very identified with him and nodded in return.

"So I determined that I will find answers, whatever it takes. But I didn't want to do it alone. So last night, when I saw you, I thought that maybe, if I saw you again someday, I would want to get to know you. And here you are."

"Raphael." I focused on him. "I want to get to know you too."

He had a warm and happy look on his face after that. "I'm very glad to hear that."

Raphael took my hand and smiled, looking into the distance. "So, if you want me that badly, I think I'm pretty sure that no matter what, you'll always be with me. I think I like that." I looked at him. I was a bit horrified at how well he was taking this, but then the feeling passed, and it was just contentment.

"Yes. We just met and we don't know each other, but we will. As long as you allow me, I won't allow myself to be very far from you, so we will have plenty of time to talk and experience each other."

.-.-.-.-

I slowly digested all that Raphael had said. Later, after a long moment, I spoke again.

"So, you feel it too." I said, closing my eyes. "The meaninglessness. The unknown within. I have felt it grow in me for a long time now. Are you sure it is because we are becoming more like humans?"

Raphael looks at me. "Yes. I don't know why or how it works exactly, but in becoming more like a human, I am driven to find answers. You became driven to find someone like me and now to be with that demon." He smiled and I smiled too, brightly, before relaxing a bit.

"Yes. I see all the other demons. We are sentient but we really don't do anything other than to feed and let time pass, then feed again." I tell him.

"After a period of denial, I realized that it was just gonna get worse." He said " I found myself disagreeing with my family. They are much older than I and don't seem to have experienced this awakening, at least not in a way similar to how I am experiencing it. They didn't understand and mostly ignored me. I had to leave." Raphael growled softly.

"The manticore gave me an excuse to leave. But, they will come looking for me. Which means we have to leave here, somewhere far away." The angel said.

"Where would we go?" I had to ask.

"We will go see friends of mine. Which is kind of funny. Before this awakening, the concept of being friends with anyone was alien to me."

I looked at him with pause. "Friends. I understand what it means. I don't think that I could be friends with any other demon. But you and I, Raphael. Are we friends?"

Raphael pondered it for a moment before giving me his answer. "No. No, I don't think so." He looked at me after a pause, then continued. "But I- we- if we have decided to make this journey together, we will find our answer along the way."

We. Yes, we. Us.

Raphael pulled me close. "I have a question for you. Do you know what love is?"

"Love?" I look at him, feeling like the word is very familiar to me. "No. A thing of the humans."

"Yeah. It is." Raphael looked thoughtful. "The humans are not just creatures to feed on. They have traits that we inadvertently absorb and we have to deal with their consequences. This can be a good thing, overall. It makes me think that being able to absorb human traits was an ability that was given to us for a reason."

An ability given to us for a reason. What reason could that be?

I was looking up, and see that the little light that shined through the canopy was dim. "Isn't it getting late?" I ask Raphael.

"Yup. I wait any longer here and I'm going to be found. I don't want anything to cut my time with you short, Dose. So, let us go." He says, and I follow him.