A Dream: An Alternate Reality
An alternate reality when my creativity was replaced with pure negativity, and my nature turns my personality into a struggler. All human psycological restraints are broken, even threatening to bend the reality of one's physical form.
"Thingy" is a pure manifestation of human negativity, shaped as a cumulation of mental images that caused me unease. Like Me'Zelf, it can influence my actions in reality too, but with a completely different intent. The symbol that marked this character was not created by ideas, it was directly manifested from clear mental images. That's the undelying potential of human negativity, a pure force of destruction when fully unleashed.
This dream was disturbing too, but not on the scale as the previous mentioned one. Yes, this one involves the character "Thingy" again. It felt like an insightful story / movie but seeing it from first person view. OR it's what I'm doing in that dream. When "Thingy" is involved, there's always RED. This one was slightly long, hence it was seperated from today's journal.
It was me in an alternate world, BUT with a different base persona. Currently as most will know, my inner persona is represented by Me'Zelf. In this alternate world, this was replaced by "Thingy". I kept most of my personality traits, but instead of creativity I was filled with fury and rage. My nature of wanting to be left alone stayed, but due to the violent and incredibly short-fused nature, any off-putting intent and ignorance was met with fury and carnage. When the dream started, I had no idea what was happening, I had control of my own thoughts, but seemingly none at the same time too. It went on like that was how I was supposed to be.
The time setting seemed to start from the period when I had my eyes opened, around 1 month ago. I always had a slight distaste for the modern systemic society that focused on majority attention, popularity, and ignorance. It was that which destroyed my personality in reality too. My patient nature due to strong self-reservation, allowed me to keep my composure over the years while exposed to the darkness of the highly ignorant public, at the cost of wearing down my personality.
In this personality that distaste was massively amplified, because fury and rage overcame all the self-restraints, reservations, and tolerance. When placed in society, it quickly developed into a completely unhinged psychopathic mentality. The fury and rage so pure, that it faces off against any opposing ignorance with little regard to self and life. Leaving behind a path of violence and carnage through the modern system. The system was realistic, but I somehow overcame it all with sheer willpower to destroy it all, constantly struggling through everything thrown at me. Using everything at my disposal due to my resourceful and practical nature, killing and destroying without a second thought.
Due to the aforementioned purity of intent, there was no personal feeling, no directed malice, no emotion, just carnage and destruction. It was dark, and very red. There was no peace, aside for a slight calm when seeing red. There were no thoughts, pleasure, or peace. A constant unhinged state, setting off fury and rage when confronted. The only entities that could halt my rampage were, individuals that hold no malice or ignorance, and tried to understand my drive. Somehow, I could detect the truth behind their intent, sparing those that hold no opposition, and seek the truth behind my nature.
At a secluded location in a bell tower, I confronted an old individual that hesitated to shoot me, while police were surrounding the perimeter. After disarming him and destroying his gun (in this alternate reality, the fury and rage has twisted my physique to exert far beyond tolerance levels), I hesitated to dispatch him quickly like most cases. That happened because he truthfully asked the reason behind my drive, with no malice. This was not the first occurrence, because my rage was only directed at opposition, often by the system (security, law, military).
That was the first time an individual actually let me finish the explanation. The explanation was twisted to my nature, but it was to oppress the darkness of the society. It was also the first time that something wasn't spoken directly from my somewhat "non-existent" control, but through a mental image implied to be "Thingy". Time in the dream stopped for a moment, and everything that happened flashed past like screens of memories. That's when I regained my real thoughts and realised that it was a dream that resembled an alternate reality. My alternate self walked away, saying that his struggle will continue, and he will not fall until he could be ended by someone that can truly understand him. The vanishing figure turns into a beast of darkness as the dream faded way, and my thoughts were filled with intense sorrow. When I finally woke up, I had to wipe tears of my face.
This dream showed me the drives and natures behind fictional characters like Guts from Berserk, or Stain from My Hero Academia, from the first-person perspective. There aren't many stories with characters fully displaying that form of darkness. "Thingy" has significant relations to those character figures, from the endless fury and rage hiding a scant soft spot, to the bottomless negativity. It signifies the power and potential behind "Thingy", the manifestation of humanity's darkest corners. It's insane that I manifested something in such a pure form, and to be able to personally see how my own nature control it. It's obvious that my "Thingy" certainly won't achieve that state, due the positive energy I possess.