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The world returns to where I died-was born. It is not the first time it returns to this location; it is still here, covered by the earth. I have tried to take it, but my fingers pass through it. It is of me, and yet it refuses me.

Males are mating over and around where it lays. Anywhere the world goes, there are always males, and they always radiate energy that I can take in. When I do not, hunger crawls up me, bites into me, hurts me. The hunger never leaves, but with this energy I have been feeding it for a... I am feeding it.

The males before me are not as they used to be, as I was before I died--was born. They are still covered with fur, but are like me, in more ways than how they enjoy mating with other males. The walk on two legs now, have been doing so for many of the places I have seen. Their forepaws have changes, they can now grasp parts of the world. They now reshape some of those parts, make use of them.

But that is set aside now. They act like the beings they used to be, mounting each other, growling their need, roaring their release. There are many this time, more than any time before and something sparks within me. More than the hunger that demands I take in the energy.

This time I want more than to feed it, but I do not know what it is that I remember. This is something from before I was born--died, something of the being that was before, something I didn't remember--forgot.

I approach and they do not react to me. They do not smell me, or hear me, or see me. It is normal, they cannot.

I feel a pang.

I shrink to their size because of that pang. I want something, but I do not remember what. It is something of before, of both of me. Something we had, the same, but different.

Those closer to me are more energetic. They radiate more of the energy that feed me, the hunger wants more, and I too want...

I crouch before the two males closest to me, one is on all four as the beast they used to be. The other mounts him, they both growl and whine, need and desire.

I need.

I want.

I can sense the tension building in them. Coursing through them, around them. The energy bundling itself within them, increasing, getting ready to explode.

The hunger wants it, craves it.

I need it, but I want...

They scream as the energy explodes out of them and I take it. It is sticky; it smells of males, of lust, of me.

The males crumple on the grass, panting, smiling, holding each other. They still have some of the energy in them, but it is faint. They still want to mate, but their bodies can only do so much.

Then nuzzle each other, rubbing against one another, and I think I remember doing it, before I died--was born.

And I need.

The hunger screams as I take some of the energy it is feeding on. It is different from what it was. It is more of me than of them. It has the same scent and taste, but more of it.

I wave my covered hand before them, and their nostrils flare, they search the air for it. The scent awakes the energy in them, but they are more interested in locating the scent than acting on the energy.

When they open their eyes, I look into them and they freeze. They do not see me, but they sense the predator before them. They still sniff, and I move my hand closer. The dominant one tries to lick, but I pull away.

No, this is of me. I do not give freely.

I need. I want.

I want them. The pair, the others.

I want to not be alone.

Loneliness, I understand now. There are others like me, but I am alone.

Be mine. I tell them, but they cant their heads. They do not hear my words. They can't. But they sense something of the intent. Both of them go to all four and offer me their rear, tail raised.

The hunger protests, I can't spend my energy on them. But if they have some of me in them, they will be closer to me, more like me. I will be less alone.

When I mount the first of them, the energy explodes through both of us as it never had before.

* * * * *

My eyes snapped open, and I forced myself to remain still while the men on each side of me in the bed settled down. Stefan pressed closer, his muzzle against my neck, not quite holding me, but the arm over my chest tightened a little. The collie's body had healed without any trace of what the twins had put him through, but his mind... Like everyone within the Society, Stefan never slept alone, but there was a need to it beyond sex now.

The nightmare didn't come as often, but once or twice a month he woke screaming, and needing to be held.

My father could have helped him. He could have taken away those memories without damaging anything else. This is one of the rare times when I wish I had his ability, instead of mine. I wish I could do something to help my friend.

The brindled wolf on my other side is sprawled over that section of the bed, meaning our fourth bed mate had already left. No surprise there. One of the wolf's arm and leg were falling off the side, but he didn't stir as I carefully moved out from under Stefan's embrace.

Okhmhaka was the latest representative of the Green Man, the first one I felt meshed with us, since he's the first one who's gay. The preference of their representative wasn't a conscious decision, but each ended up hitting it off more with Stefan than the rest of us. Stefan's love of plants made them more comfortable, but then Stefan's very high sex drive would cause an uncomfortable situation as the representative expected to live with him in his condo, but there was only one bed, and while Stefan had no problem having a woman sleep in his bed, or a man he wouldn't have sex with, the fact he had energetic sex next to them had caused friction.

I walked around the plants that crowded Stefan's bedroom; I swore he'd double the number of them in the last six months. Now it was like the place was a jungle. I found the bathroom and closed the door.

I leaned on the sink and glared at the mirror. "I don't know what you're up to," I whispered to my reflection, willing the words to reach someone else. Something else. "But fucking stop it. If you think it's funny to show my your life, it isn't. I don't fucking care. I need my sleep more than you need your entertainment."

My reflection didn't reply. I didn't even feel the impression of a reply, the way He communicated with emotions more than words. I'd felt Him a few times since we'd claimed each other, or maybe I'd just imagined them. Dealing with a god was complicated.

I took care of my business and left the bedroom. I walked the small hallway to Stefan's kitchen and froze in the opening.

"Tom," I asked the badger who was making coffee with one hand, "Why do you have your gun at Flint's head?"

The fox looked at me plaintively, but didn't move. He didn't even try to reach for his gun, which was before him on the table.

"I'm doing my job, why do you keep being surprised by that?" Tom moved to the cupboard with the cups while managing to not move his gun hand.

"Flint isn't an enemy."

"He works with them," the badger said, fulling a cup. "He could have been turned." He added a splash of vanilla creamer and placed the cup on my side of the table, tilting an ear. He did have a point. With members of the Gray Church using magic, they could have turned the fox and he wouldn't even known it.

I pulled out of my body enough to see magic and looked him over. "He's clean," I said, picking up the cup. Tom would already have checked for mundane recording devices.

I savored the coffee with a sigh. "I have two question, Flint."

The fox eyed the cup of coffee Tom placed before him.

"How did you know I was here? And why did you feel the need to come here, instead of letting me know you wanted to talk?"

"You're under constant surveillance, all I have to do to know where you are is ask where the car assigned to watch you is parked." He sniffed the cup.

"If Tom wanted you dead, he'd have shot you and disposed of the body before I woke up."

"If you're let me kill him," Tom corrected, leaning against the counter and drinking from his own cup.

I sat. So Alice had managed to get around my own security, yet again. The game of hers would be funny, if she wasn't so determined to make my life miserable.

"As for why I came here. I figured this was better than the seedy bars you always ended up picking for our meetings. I know this is supposed to be covert and all that, but we're not in a bad movie. We can meet in a kitchen like normal people."

Tom snorted. He'd been the one to pick where the meetings took place. I'd tried to argue for more normal locations, but Tom liked his drama.

"Okay, then what required you to come at too fucking early in the morning to chat?"

Flint took a long swallow. "The precinct's a mess."

"Not news to me," I replied.

"It's worse than that. Cases are getting shut down without being closed, and they all involve attacks on gays. Vice is getting shuffled around so much, they can't keep track of what gangs is and isn't being under watch. And then there's Alice and Riley. They might as well be partners for all the time they spend together working who god knows what. When I asked Riley, he just glared at me."

"He thinks you're Brislow's mole in the department," Tom said.

"I told you not to push," I said, but Flint waved my comment aside.

"I guess that isn't a surprise to you, but did you know we had the Boulder Chief in last week? The captain called her for a meeting, in person. Internal Affairs joined them and they were holed up in his office for an hour. Riley looked really happy with that. When she left everything looked normal, but she shut down the investigation into the attack on the Cormoran that happened there."

"Well, at least we can stop trying to figure that one out now," Tom said.

"Is the Boulder Chief dirty?" I asked.

"Of course not," Flint replied.

"I never heard her name mentioned by my contacts," Tom said.

"So IA is in on it," I sighed. It wasn't exactly proof, but it was yet one more circumstantial evidence that pointed to the Gray Church having people in Internal Affairs.

"In on what?"

I shook my head. "I appreciate the information, Flint, but you shouldn't be looking into this."

"Denton, there's some sort of conspiracy in the department, and you just said it's reaching into IA, you can't tell me I should stop."

"I can tell you that. Of course you're going to ignore me, but Flint, you have no idea what you're treading on."

"If you mean walking right into an invasion of the body snatcher movie, of I'm well aware of that."

Tom tensed and I cursed. "What happened?"

"People are being replaced."

I shook my head. "No, that isn't--"

"You haven't been in the precinct recently, Denton."

I glanced at Tom, who shook his head. So at least Oliver wasn't one who'd been gotten to. Tom would have noticed changes in his playmate.

Flint turned around to look at Tom, who just grinned at him. He turned back to me. "About half the department is acting weird. And with each of them it starts the same way, they leave one evening, don't show up for a couple of days and come back as if nothing had happened, but they're off. It's like they've been told how they should act, but it isn't ingrained."

"Any of them returned with some sort of injury?"

Flint stared at me. "You know what's going on, don't you?"

I shrugged. I knew why they were acting off, not why or what the Church was up to with needing to take over the precinct.

"Damn it, Denton, what is going on? I have to know."

"No, you don't. I'll figure out what's going on and fix it, but I told you from the start, you don't want to be involved into this."

"You think I'm scared of whatever mob family has my precinct in their grasp?"

Tom snorted again.

"Flint, let me put it this way. I don't know why they haven't gone invasion of the body snatcher on your yet, but do you really want to push your luck by prodding at this wasp's nest?"

Flint stood and put his hands on the table, glaring at me. "I'm a cop. I'm going throw myself in front of a bus is it means this city is going to be safe. I am not walking away from this, that you tell me what is going on or not."

We glared at each other until Tom chuckled. "I like this one."

I looked at the badger.

"He reminds me of you."

I raised an eyebrow.

"He's utterly stupid in his belief the world needs to be protected. Delusional even. You sure you two weren't separated at birth?"

"You aren't helping," I told the badger.

He grinned at me. "Not my job, boss."

I looked at Flint. He wasn't going to drop this. If I didn't tell him the truth about what he had put himself in the middle of, he was going to get himself killed. No, I was going to get him killed by staying silent. But if he knew, could he keep it to himself? Because if he gave away he knew more than Alice or Riley though he did, they'd squeeze him for everything he knew, and then the Society was going to come down on me hard for having told someone who wasn't one of us.

"Sit down," I told Flint. "This is going to take a while."