FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I stare at the train as it rushes by, a mere two feet in front of my face. I take a tentative step forward and stare at the space in front of me as with each new second seven different cars pass before me, sending the air into whirlwinds around me. I wanted to just throw myself into its course and erase myself from the picture that was life; but I had missed my chance as the last car pulled away and left me staring at an empty scene of gravel and tracks. Sighing, I picked up my bag and resumed my walk to school.

I start walking along a cracked sidewalk making my way to the school trying my best to keep the frigid wind out with my leather jacket. I picked up the pace as I approached the front gates of the school and heard the bell ring signaling for 1st period to begin. I hiked my bag up on my shoulders and practically sprinted across the campus to make sure I was not late. All around me there were trees organized in seemingly random spots and huge plots of grass scattered throughout the grounds, typical for California really. I slip through the door just before the bell rings and sat in my desk before the teacher took role.

As I sit down a hand grabs ahold of my bag and snatches it from me.

I turn around to see Derek, an obnoxious fat jock who thinks he is the shit (you know the type), digging through my bag like a starving dog after a piece of meat. I attempted to take it back from him but he just held me off as he pulled a sketchbook from my bag. I finally gave up and decided to let him have it for now; it's not like I would need it for much longer anyway.

"Hey guys, the faggot is drawing more pictures!" He yelled in a surprisingly nasal voice for someone of his build. He flips open to a picture I drew of a boy sitting in the shade of a cherry blossom tree staring at a wolf seated in front of him. They are both sitting under a cerulean sky with the sun spreading its golden light through the branches. I didn't even react to the jibe because everyone knew it was true. I was openly gay for better or worse, and I tried not to care what anyone thought or said about it. I would plaster on a fake smile and slip on a mask that would keep people from seeing who I really am and what I really think. The last thing I need is pity.

The other jocks in the room began to laugh and join in on the mockery. Other people proceeded to chuckle to themselves.

People didn't usually like me; I wasn't mean or anything so I have no real clue why. I am a fairly collected person and don't lose my cool but when people take a look at me they are suddenly repulsed by me. Even the teachers don't like me too much. I had platinum blonde hair that I kept just above my eyebrows and not much else that stood out besides my eyes; one of them was blue and the other was brown. Once someone saw them they immediately turned away from me like we were magnets sharing a charge.

I managed to snatch my book and bag back as Derek was distracted and turned around just as the teacher stood up in front of the class. I looked at the drawing carefully and made sure that no permanent damage was done to it. This was a happy memory for me and I didn't want anyone to taint it.

My teacher, a middle aged man with brown hair that's spiked up and a decent tan, started to list off the names of students on his sheet before starting announcements, "Okay guys listen up!" He bellowed in a deep scratchy voice that gave indication to years of chain smoking, "You all have finals this week." the class groaned and he got red in the face, "Don't give me that crap. You've been told this for the past two weeks; anyway, this year the Finals will be done differently. Is anyone familiar with the A.S.O?" He asked trying to build up excitement.

It worked. Everyone knew about the Anthropomorphic Special Ops. They were famous because . . . because. . . . Well because they're a bunch of Anthros that go around kicking ass and taking names. Is there any other reason that they need to be famous? The A.S.O. did things from assassinations to espionage, could be anything from bodyguards to hit men. The anthros were idolized by just about everyone because they had affinities. Their brains had super concentrated amounts of DHA (docosahexaenoic acid) which allowed for higher thought processes and access to over 50% of their potential brain power. Most people don't really get what the real big deal is and just fake it, but I understand. They have access to abilities that humans can barely even comprehend and perfect things already practiced by the general population (i.e. hypnosis, precognizance, and higher intellect).

The class started buzzing excitedly because the most appealing thing about the A.S.O. is that each anthro binds with a human partner. The extent of that bond varies from coupling to coupling. So the entire class began boasting about how each individual was going to be the best and actually get to go and try to get recruited for it. The only stipulation is that they have a specific form of test that they administer and it is never done the same way twice. Sometimes the anthros will take out entire classes and have them do drills, and other times they will just sit passively and observe the students. Oh, and the reason that all the students were excited was because you were only eligible for recruitment during your teenage years as the brain develops the fastest and the most at adolescence and that gives them time to adapt to everything and get used to working in that line of work.

"I'll take that as a yes." My teacher laughed. "Anyway they are sending a couple of representatives here to 'scout out' some potential recruits. I know you are all excited about getting a chance to meet them, but they are here strictly on business and are not to be bothered unless they talk to you first. They will come and observe the tests and might pull some people aside, but other than that they will probably just wander about the school and look around. Now be on your best behavior because a representative is coming to this class. Don't embarrass anyone." As if to punctuate his point, a light rapping came from outside the door. A bolt of excitement ran through the class as the teacher went to answer the door.

My teacher opened the door and immediately started rambling on and on about what an honor it was for the person to show up. Soon he was repeating himself and tripping over his own words like a fool.

"And he told us not to embarrass anyone." Derek joked and everyone cracked up but stopped as the teacher came back in the room with one of the most gorgeous anthros ever behind him.

He was a lupine anthro with white and gray fur and the most enthralling aureate eyes in the world. He wore a black T-shirt with a pair of grass green cargo shorts. He had something in one of his hands that looked strangely familiar. Right as I placed what it was he looked around the room and locked eyes with me. He smiled cockily before strolling up to my desk and placing the box of colored pencils on it. I looked at him a bit longer and was mesmerized by the muscle that adorned him; he was ripped. Every move he made and breath he took moved his entire body and made him look about three times more imposing. I looked at his eyes and felt the world around me start to shift and turn. It was a bizarre feeling seeing as those golden eyes just stayed there completely unaffected by this bewildering new world. With that gaze he seemed to see into the very depths of my soul; and for a second, what looked like pity crossed his features before disappearing behind the cocky smile once again. In those brief seconds it felt like he had looked into the very depths of my soul and seen everything that was inside of me.

"I think you dropped this in your mad dash," He said in a rugged voice that just accentuated his looks and made him seem like the complete package.

I snapped out of my trance and the world shifted back into focus as I looked down; and sure enough, the box had my name printed across the top of it in bold black letters. I don't even know why I bothered to bring them anymore, but some irrational part of my mind just wouldn't let me part with them or leave them home.

I turned my gaze back up to him and tried my best to control the blush that spread across my cheeks as every pair of eyes in the room fell on me. It didn't help that one of the most beautiful creatures in the world was right in front of me. "Thank you sir," I said; praying to the gods above that I could just disappear. He was beautiful in every sense of the word. I tried hard not to notice it, but my body was not kind to me as familiar warmth made itself known between my legs.

He smiled one more time before walking back to his spot next to the teacher who stopped talking to see what the anthro was doing.

The teacher shook his head, as if trying to clear it of cobwebs and focused back on the class. "This is Mr. . ." He turned to the anthro with his eyebrows raised in silent question.

"Fenrir," The anthro supplied.

I couldn't help but chuckle when I heard that; I tried unsuccessfully to muffle it. It just didn't seem to fit, a Norse monster that was supposed to signify ragnarok and chaos embodied in something so amazing.

I blushed as I registered my thoughts and then finally thought to hell with it. I might as well just enjoy myself.

Fenrir's eyes snapped to me in an instant and he raised an eyebrow; but then, like everyone else does eventually, he seemed to finally notice my eyes. Instead of turning away like everyone else does at this point, though, he started to stare at me intently. I was able to kill the outburst then and turned my attention back to my teacher who hadn't seemed to notice. He had just finished explaining the rules and consequences of breaking them when it came to the Finals, and he finally got to handing out the tests. We were going to take World History first and were allotted two hours to complete the 87 questions. The second the final form was handed out the timer started and we all got to work. I blazed through the questions one after the other and found myself bubbling in the final question 20 minutes later. I got up and turned my test into the teacher who just gave me a look before returning to his work. This was nothing for me. I was constantly finishing tests first, and often within five minutes of starting, so it didn't surprise anyone that I had finished so early anyone, that is, except for Fenrir; who was looking at me with barely concealed curiosity. I tried not to focus too hard on him because it would be really awkward to pitch a tent in the middle of class.

I sat back down at my desk, fished out my sketchbook and colored pencils, and began touching up the rest of the picture that Derek had shown everyone. I finished that in about fifteen minutes and put my stuff up as I placed my head down on my desk to try and pass the time until next period. I kept occupied for about three minutes before I couldn't take the boredom anymore, grabbed the bathroom pass just for something to do, and walked out onto the campus. I headed straight to the bathroom and came back, but now there were two guys standing just outside of my classroom. As one the both turned to me.

One of them was a tall male with black hair that was spiked about an inch. The other was also male but with blonde hair that fell down slightly past his shoulders in waves. I recognized them both as players from the football team and as close friends of Derek. I don't think they recognized me specifically, but they saw that I wasn't well muscled and that was good enough for them.

One of them put on a shit eating grin and walked right up to me as he cracked his knuckles to try and intimidate me; which I didn't really get. The blonde one just stood back and kept an eye on the closed doors so that he could warn the other if anyone came out.

"What do we have here? Are you ditching class?" the guy with black hair asked. I think his name is Raul.

"No, I finished my final and went to the bathroom," I said simply, hoping I could just get around him. These two weren't really smart; but because they were football players, the teachers would give them at least a C even if they weren't there to actually take the test. Raul was infamous for picking fights just for the hell of it and because he knew he wouldn't get in any serious trouble. I was hoping they would let me go because a weird feeling was starting to bubble up in my stomach and I needed quiet.

The blonde, I think was named Adam, called out, "We're forty minutes in, there's no way."

I moved so that both of the boys remained in my sight. "I finished my finals in twenty minutes. I usually finish all my tests quickly," I said as I tried to get closer to the door of my class.

Raul intercepted me and smirked, "Where are you going? I thought we were having a nice conversation." He said in an innocent tone.

"I need to go back to class," I said, now irritated that they weren't just going to let me leave and get back. The feeling in my stomach started to spread to the rest of my body, and I had to fight to keep my balance at this point.

"You still have an hour and a half; why not hang out with us?" Adam said in the same mock innocent voice.

My irritation quickly sparked to anger but I managed to keep it under wraps. "I still have, work I need to do," I lied. I didn't really expect it to get me anywhere, but if I said what was really going through my mind I would probably be nursing a black eye and broken nose for a while. Whatever was in my blood was boiling.

As expected, Raul got right in my face and pushed me against a wall. "You still got time," he breathed in my face. He squinted a bit as he noticed my eyes and started to laugh as he beckoned Adam over.

"Adam come check this guy out. His eyes are some freaky shit!" he laughed.

Adam came over completely ignoring the doors just as one opened.

"Wow you're right!" Adam whistled. "This kid is a freak."

I tried to focus on who it was that opened the door but couldn't because both of the boys were blocking my view. I was now about to pass out as the feeling worked its way into my head and nearly blinded me with pain as sweat started to pour from my skin in rivers.

Raul held my face with one hand as he turned my head to and fro seeing how my eyes caught the light. My blue eye caught the sun's rays and would make it seem as if I contained the oceans and sky in the iris while my brown eye looked like the freshly tilled earth right before a good season of planting. Before my mom started to drink, she used to say my eyes were special, and I could set a person's spirit free with one look while keeping their body stable so that they had an anchor and wouldn't float off into the world.

Finally I had had enough, and rage pulsed through my blood like pure adrenaline; but instead of liquid fire flooding my veins, I was covered in an icy heat that kept me in control. "Let me go," I said; a hidden razor in my voice that cut right through their mockery. I was slightly surprised because the feeling rushing through my body wasn't completely rage. There was plenty of that; but there was something else, a sense of empowerment that I had never felt before. The sick feeling was gone and replaced with a feeling of total control. I wanted to laugh because finally the cloud of depression vaporized with this new euphoria; and for a split second, I could just live in the here and now.

I focused on both of them and watched as they jumped away from me like I pulled a gun on them.

"What the fuck?" Adam screamed; his eyes filled with a primal terror.

I turned to them and faced them as my anger rolled off of me in waves. My anger and rage had become the stimulus for the degradation of my weakness, and I took from it what I could. They flinched when I turned my eyes to them and didn't see as they both backed up into a tall white mass that towered behind them.

"You filthy pieces of trash," I spat in that same cool voice as before, "don't ever touch me again." The more I talked the more power seemed to fill me. "You are nothing in this world but a pestilence that should be erased." I took a step forward, barely recognizing the form of the wolf anthro that they had backed into. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't just wipe you away," I threatened as the power seemed to reach its peak. I was quickly becoming drunk off of this power, and I didn't want it to ever leave as I continued to take slow measured steps toward the two; fully intent on delivering on my threat. I started to laugh silently as the euphoria climaxed and I reached a new plane of thought and consciousness never before accessible to me. I could see their fear coming off of them in waves of color as their brains continued to pump adrenaline to give them the ability to flee as fast as they could.

They both looked at the two claws that placed themselves on their shoulders. "Now what is going on here?" Fenrir asked in an almost bored voice.

Adam refused to look away as he pointed to me with a shaking hand and tried to keep from having a panic attack, "That freak is about to kill us!" he exclaimed.

Fenrir shifted his gaze to me and his eyes widened slightly in surprise before he schooled his expression back to boredom. He closed his eyes and when he opened them again the entire world seemed to freeze. The power that had been flowing through me slipped away like a dream. I crumpled to the ground and struggled just to breathe as that gaze bored into me. Those eyes that were full of a gentle laughter earlier were now filled with cool malice that threatened to rip my soul asunder. I felt as helpless and feeble as a newborn child as those eyes focused on me. All of my fears took hold of me at that moment, and it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears as the euphoria disappeared with it leaving me with my own [previous maybe, of course they're his own] depression and piteous views on life.

Fenrir shook his head ever so slightly before turning to face the two boys he still had a grip on. I watched as his eyes seemed to shift again and he leaned between the two boys' heads and whispered something I couldn't hear.

He straightened back up and the two boys walked away in a daze as they went to some destination unknown to anyone else.

Fenrir watched them go and turned back to me; his eyes back to that normal state that I found so enthralling. He walked towards me and sat on his haunches as he offered me a hand up. I took it, only slightly aware of what was happening as I tried to recover from the feeling of coldness. He lifted me up as if I weighed nothing and walked me over to a bench before gently sitting me down. I finally managed to numb down the sharp blade of bitterness and loneliness to the point where it didn't feel like I was about to fall apart if I so much as breathed the wrong way.

I stared forward blankly as the warmth slowly started to return to my existence, and my fears slowly receded back to the depths of my soul where they festered like an infected wound and continued to slowly corrode away the very essence of my soul like an acid. Slowly my sense returned, and I could finally focus on something besides the blank infinity of pain and misery my mind had become.

"So what's your name kid?" Fenrir asked, trying to bring my attention back to reality.

It took a minute before I realized what he asked and then I responded, "My name is Aaron."

Fenrir sat down next to me and sat back as he stretched out his arms. "So that was definitely not something you see every day," he joked lightly.

I looked at him then at my hands as the last bit of cold finally left my body. "What was that?" I asked hoping that maybe I could get back to that state more than anything.

"That was your fear in full force; every doubt and insecurity rising to the surface of your conscious mind." He said this as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"How?" I asked. I knew about the abilities of anthros but like most people had never really seen them or experienced them first hand. It wasn't the question I meant, but it still had me curious.

"Well I'm sure there is some long winded scientific explanation somewhere, but what I did was synch my brain with yours and send a signal to yours that told your brain to bring forward any information on fear...in a nutshell anyway. It's a fairly simple task for most anthros, and even some humans can do it. It was the quickest way to break your concentration," he explained.

"That power..." I started in awe as he explained all of this; finally pinpointing to him the initial question.

"That's what we call a surge. There are a few different types; but what you did, judging by your reaction to it, was a primary surge. A surge is like a rush of adrenaline. It sends chemicals to the brain that allow anthros and some humans access to higher brain functions. As they continue to grow more and more adept at using their abilities, surges become flow; and instead of little bursts of power, it becomes a steady stream that continually supplies you with it. A primary surge is by far one of the most powerful experiences ever, but it is also the most unstable and the easiest to interrupt. It is the 'activation' of a person's mental abilities. It is what makes the conscious brain aware of what the subconscious already knew was there so it may start producing more and more of those chemicals, but it needs to figure out how to do it consciously," he said; tapping my forehead gently to emphasize his point. "It is very rare for humans to be able to have any form of mental capabilities, seeing as they are born with a natural restraint on their mind which only allows them access to 10% of their potential. Anthros have one too, but ours is less restrictive," he explained further.

My head was starting to hurt, and I unintentionally leaned into him as I tried to take in all of the information that was being fed to me. My hopes rose a little as I realized that maybe I would be able to find a way back to that feeling; but I sobered as I also took into account what he said about the primary being the strongest sensation ever, so chances were I wouldn't be able to feel like that ever again.

He patted my head a bit trying to console me, but the second I realized what I did I bolted upright and tried not to let him know that the fires of hell were burning in my cheeks.

He looked down and chuckled a bit but had the decency not to comment.

In order to distract myself from the embarrassment, the growing bulge in my pants, and the pressure of hopelessness that surrounded me; I asked the first question that came to my mind. "So what happens now?" It was more of a way to break the silence than anything else. I had decided earlier this morning what I would do.

"Well for starters you should probably finish your finals," Fenrir joked.

"That was the only one I needed to do," I said; slightly embarrassed because I had come in the week before and spent all week doing finals after school so I could hurry up and be

done with school. The only teacher who had a problem with it was my world history teacher, and I had finished that obstacle. I figured that once I ran out of things to accomplish I could let go easier.

"You're quite an unusual person," Fenrir joked as he looked at me quizzically.

"Says the 7', 400lbs. wolf," I quipped back; trying to let myself just live in the moment for a bit longer.

His hackles rose in indignation, "I'll have you know that I am 9'10'' and am 350lbs." he says irritably.

"Only kidding!" I said holding my hands up in surrender. I didn't really know the guy that well, and if he wanted to he could probably kill me very easily. As appealing as that idea was I would much rather not go down that path.

The hackles fell and he laughed. "I know. It's just fun to mess with people! So you're done huh? What were you planning on doing for the rest of the day then?"

I don't know, probably go and run for a while," I said shrugging. "It's what I usually do when I need to think or when I just want to get away from somewhere. I might go home if nothing else." I added the last one with a wince. As bad as the situation at school was, the one at home was worse; and of course it brought back the picture of the train which, conveniently, was right behind my house.

He seemed to think about something, and that was time enough for me to semi-collect my thoughts. What was I doing? I hardly ever talk to a person this much in a week, let alone a couple of minutes. I hardly ever lose control, and I almost ripped two people in half; and to top it all off I couldn't seem to shake off the rager I had been sporting since I laid eyes on the wolf. Worst of all, I'm pretty sure he knew it too. A familiar icy chill ran down my body as I remembered what I had been planning for a long time now.

I got up and stretched. "This doesn't really change much," I say more to myself than to him.

He looked up at me questioningly. "Usually people are a lot more curious and excited about these kinds of things, but you just kind of shrug it off. Why?" he asked.

"Like I just said, it doesn't really change much. My plans an hour ago are the same plans I have now." I wanted to slap myself as I mentioned the last bit. I had almost just told a complete stranger what I was about to do.

He stood up next to me and stretched as well. "Would you mind if I joined you?" he asked. "I'm not really suited to classrooms or any other enclosed area for that matter," he joked.

I thought a bit. It would be nice to have someone to talk with while I ran; not to mention the fact that when I talked with him I could focus on the here and now. "Sure thing," I replied.

He smiled wide and finished stretching. "Alright then, why don't you get your stuff and let's go?" he asked.

"Okay, but won't you be shirking your duties by just hanging out with me all day instead of monitoring the school for potential recruits for the A.S.O?" I asked as it dawned on me.

He just shrugged his shoulders. "Not really. I'm observing a candidate with serious potential who I think would make a wonderful addition to our cause," he said and smiled down at me.

I just smirked at the remark. "We'll see about that I guess," I replied with dark humor.

He gave me a look; and once again I thought I saw pity in his eyes, but it was gone before I could focus too much on it.

He walked me back into the class, and it looked like a few people were about halfway through with their tests. They all looked up to watch the giant anthro walk in and talk to the teacher.

I went to my desk and started to get my stuff together when Derek looked up and smirked knowingly. "What took you so long?" he asked.

I picked up my bag, looked him straight in the eye, and he started to squirm a little bit. I doubt it was the power I had felt earlier, but something in my stare was enough to make him uncomfortable. "I was sidetracked," I said simply.

"Aaron, you coming?" Fenrir called across the room; already at the door.

At that precise moment every single pair of eyes was on me, and I wanted to puke. I picked up my stuff and nearly ran out the door.

Fenrir followed me out the door snickering.

I turned on him, momentarily forgetting the fact that he was a nine foot tall anthropomorphic wolf. "Why did you do that?" I seethed.

He just chuckled and started to walk forward aimlessly. "It seemed like a good idea," he replied simply.

I shook my head and started to head to the locker room so I could grab a pair of running shorts. I quickly got changed and found Fenrir right outside the door with his arms crossed in front of his chest waiting for me.

He started to stretch a little as we made our way to the gates of the school. "You know that stretching isn't really effective until after a run right?" I asked him as I showed the guard my ID badge, which showed that I was part of Cross Country. He quickly waved us through, and we immediately set out on a light jog down the same street I had come to school on this morning.

"I know, but it helps loosen me up," he responded.

We turned down a dirt path that was lined with trees and grass and was out of the way of the bustle of the town's traffic. I decided which paths and turns to take because I knew the town better and I would probably be the one who prevented us from getting lost.

"If you say so," I muttered; drifting off into my mind and not really paying specific attention to the destination I had us running towards. I was confident enough in my knowledge of the town and its workings to be sure that I wouldn't have us stranded somewhere.

We ran in silence for a while and normally that would be good for me; but whether it was because I just needed it or because I was walking next to an anthropomorphic wolf, I felt the need to talk so I asked the first question that came to my mind, "So what exactly is your job with the A.S.O?"

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye before answering. "I am your typical contractor. I do jobs that they pay me for. I get sent on 'scouting' missions where I keep an eye out for potential recruits that would want to join."

"If you are a contractor why do you go looking for recruits?" I asked as I felt my curiosity getting the best of me.

He let out a sigh, which was probably difficult considering we had been running for about ten minutes now and answered, "Usually when people need a break they will send you on a recruitment job for some R&R because, in this line of work, you don't exactly get sick days or holidays. They will just give you easier jobs that don't push you too hard until you are back at your best."

We turned down another path and soon broke out of the comfort of the wooded enclosure into something that resembled an industrial yard with metal and brick lying around haphazardly.

"Why did you need to take a break?" I asked and immediately regretted it because it was something personal that I had no right to ask.

His jaw clamped shut and he remained silent as we worked our way through the yard and onto a back road.

"I'm sorry, that was something I shouldn't have asked," I amended.

"Don't worry about it." He shrugged off the whole thing like it was nothing. He was quiet and then decided to ask a few questions of his own, "So what exactly do you do in your free time kid?"

"I draw pictures and run. I don't really have much else to do," I answered blankly.

"Sounds boring to be honest," Fenrir replied; probably just trying to crack a joke.

I shrugged, "It's better than nothing."

"You know what you plan on doing later in life?" he asked.

I scoffed but then stopped cold in my tracks, causing Fenrir to go on a few feet before turning around to look at me with a questioning glance, asking why I had stopped.

An answer of sorts was given to him as the train whistle blew as it slowly came into view a couple hundred feet down the line. I looked down to my left and saw that I was right next to the train tracks in the same place I had been earlier today.

He walked up to me and tilted his head to the side. "Hey, what's eating at you?" he asked.

I just stared as the train made itself more pronounced as it neared. "Did you know that it takes the average freight train a mile to come to a complete stop?" I asked. I felt all of my emotions start to surface as what seemed to be a call for my death sped toward me.

Fenrir seemed a bit on edge at how close I was to the rails. "No I didn't know that. Why don't you step away from those rails now?"

I ignored him and instead took a step closer. I looked my reaper straight in the eye. "Did you know that 23% of adolescents in America suffer from clinical depression?"

Fenrir was slowly edging his way toward me as my feet set me down right between the rails. "Really, that's interesting," he said; trying to stall for time so he could try and get me out of the way. His eyes had taken on a different quality again as he tried to coax me away from the oncoming train.

I vaguely wondered what I was doing. I had been in the middle of a conversation with him and suddenly here I was in front of a speeding locomotive as it hurtled towards me.

"Do you know what the statistics for people who chicken out of suicide at the last minute are?" I asked as a tear slipped down my cheeks. I finally remembered specifically why I was here. Even if being with someone now made me feel good and like I was able to live, I would just end up being alone again in no time flat.

"No," was his reply as his voice started to change too.

At the last minute I stepped away from the rails as the train went hurtling by. "Neither do I," I replied. I wanted to kick myself because I had just probably signed my own consent forms for a mental ward on the other side of state.

Fenrir stood there in shock as he looked at me, his eyes back to normal as he stepped closer to me.

"Why?" he asked, sounding almost angry.

I looked at him and tried really hard to not cry right there, but I didn't succeed, "I'm tired of being alone and a freak. I am tired of having people despise me the second they see my face," I say as tears rolled down my cheeks and stung like an acid rain. "I just want the loneliness to go away," I finally say as my legs buckle beneath me. I would have fallen to the ground if Fenrir hadn't caught me in his arms.

He pulled me close to him as I started to cry and wail like a newborn infant. He didn't say anything, but he rubbed my back in small circles as he waited for me to finish.

He pulled me closer to himself, and his muzzle was right by my ear as he whispered, "What if I could promise you that you would never be alone, or despised for the way you look, and you would never be considered a freak?"

I looked up at him with questioning eyes to see if he was lying or anything, but he seemed genuine.

"I would like to formally extend an offer to you to join the Anthropomorphic Special Ops. If you accept this offer your life as you know it will be over. You will no longer have to worry about any of your troubles as long as you focus on your work and tasks at hand. You are completely free once you become a member, so do you accept?" he asked.

It felt like a bomb had just exploded inside my chest. I was being offered everything I could possibly want on a silver platter. "Of course I accept the offer!" I nearly screamed.

"Glad to hear it. You are going to be in for some wild times and new experiences," he chuckled. To punctuate the statement, he leaned forward and kissed me gently on the lips.