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Satin Circus -- Last Act Of The Night by D'Otter

"That was a good show," said Charlie. "It was a good audience," said Beau. "Good audiences..." Charlie began. "...make good shows!" Beau finished for him. Charlie sighed as he massaged cleaner into his facial fur. "Roar of the grease pain..." the otter started. "...smell of the crowd," Beau obediently finished. He hung up his deliberately shabby suit and beat some of the stage dust out of it with his own otter tail. "When's Old Pete gonna replace the other mirror!" he complained. "He's been promising for I dunno how long!" "I'm just about done, love." Charlie splashed water over his face from the sink below the only remaining mirror in the wash tent. "Clam's" clown face rinsed away, leaving Charlie's real face reflected back at him. Beau stood watching, "Fin" still hiding the clown's real face. "You are so beautiful!" Beau said. "I love you so much!" Charlie smiled and kissed Fin's big, red, rubber nose. He handed over a plastic bib, then started stripping off his own tramp costume while Beau took his place at the sink. The older otter rubbed cleaner into his fur, as Charlie had. Whitened grease mixed with strong, grey soap, turning "Fin" into goo. "Where is Pete tonight?" Beau asked, before the cleaner reached his mouth. "We should remind him about this mirror before bed! Mirrors aren't that expensive. It takes forever..." Beau stopped rubbing cleaner into his face and twitched his eyes towards a spot in the washing tent's wall. Charlie, too looked at it. Something was leaning against it outside, making an unfamiliar rustling sound! Charlie pointed at himself, then at the pushed-in spot in the canvas; he pointed at Beau, made a scrubbing motion at his own face, then a follow-me motion with a finger. Beau nodded and quickly scrubbed cleaner into the last, stubborn greasepaint spots on his face. Charlie slipped into a pair of jeans and left the tent as quietly as he could, grabbing a heavy flash light as he went. He crept around the tent wall, flash light turned off and raised. He stopped as he saw a darker patch of darkness against the heavy canvass. It didn't move. He turned on the flash light. The beam fell on a small, slight figure which started screaming. "Hey rube!" Charlie yelled above the screaming. "Kid, quit that!" he added. "It's okay, I won't hurt you! My gosh!" Beau arrived behind Charlie, his face still wet. "Wha' happened?" he cried. "Oh my... Goodness! Who's this?" "I just found him," Charlie replied. "Over here!" he added. Running feet were approaching from every direction. The boy, a bear cub, stopped screaming and stood, shivering in the flash light beam. He swiped his claws half-heartedly towards Charlie. Then he glanced fearfully around himself as more adults arrived. "What's goin' on here!" an old bear demanded. "Oh for the lovva... !" he exclaimed as he saw the boy. "We're closed for the night, kid! What're you still doin' here?" "Easy, Pete!" Beau said. "Can't you see he's scared?" Beau pushed in front of Charlie and knelt down in the straw near the boy, smiling. "Hi there," he said. "H-hi here, t-too," the boy replied. Beau laughed gently. "You're funny, like me. I'm a clown! They call me Fin on stage. That's my partner, Clam, holding the light." "Hi, kid," Charlie said. "And that big bear there's Old Pete. He's the big boss, the ringmaster, too. The rabbit is our star act, Zack and that scruffy coyote's Jason... Well, there's a bunch of us, so what's your name?" "Tommy," the boy replied. "Okay Tommy, now we're gettin' somewhere. But Pete's right, Satin circus is closed for the night. So why are you here?" "Lost," Tommy replied. Beau looked at Charlie, then at Old Pete. "Gimmee a break kid, it's late!" the old bear replied. "Why are you really here? Where's your mom?" "Mommy's dead," Tommy replied. "Daddy went away. I live with my aunt..." Tears began at his cheeks. "She forgot me again," he whimpered. "She doesn't care about me, she just let's me stay with her and she makes me do chores. She wanted to see the Satin Circus because she said you're such a bunch of freaks! But after the big top show, she told me to stay behind the peanut stand while she went to the lady's room and she never came and got me and now you're closed and she forgot me again!" "That's right Pete," grey squirrel said. "I saw him leaning on the stand about an hour ago and told him to shove off! He didn't go far, but that's Eugene's look-out. I didn't know he was waitin' for his aunt!" "Hoagy's right," said a moose. "The kid told me he was waiting for his aunt. I checked the privy tent, but the lady's was empty. Then I had to go man the exit and I never got back to the kid... Tommy, that is. Sorry, Tommy." "Poor, lil' cub!" Beau cried, and took Tommy in a big, close hug. Charlie stooped towards them, looking around for somebody to take the flash light. Nobody came forwards, so he settled for standing closer and rubbing the boy's ears. A slightly-built, white bunny, his big ears at half-mast and his cheeks moist, joined the hug. "That was me, too," said Zack. "I was in a car accident. I was hurt and my momma and daddy died. When I got out of hospital, I went to a foster home, but they didn't love me, they just made me clean their house all the time. Then when I was twelve they found out..." Zack shuddered hard. "...found out I'm gay... and then they hated me, they beat me every day and told me I was going to go to hell! So I ran away and joined the circus. They're my real family! They love me!" ("'Course we do Zack," Charlie murmured.) A dozen faces turned towards Old Pete. "Forget it!" the big bear declared. "We can't take in every stray and foundling that sneaks in at night! Besides, he might not... Kid! How old are you anyway?" "I-I'm nine," Tommy replied. "He doesn't know himself if he's gay, he hasn't even dropped his balls yet! Erh..." Pete paused, his ears blushing. "He's 'way too young, you buncha pedos! He has to go back!" "Pete's right," said Beau, "circus life is no life for a kid. So what do we do?" "I guess we better call the cops," said Hoagy. "And get stuck in this town on suspicion?" Eugene exclaimed. "We'll just take him home ourselves," Pete declared. Kid, where do you live, what's your aunt's address?" They boy gave an address. The old bear ordered everybody but the two otters to bed, then went to organize things. "Thanks for not calling the cops," Tommy said. "Aw, Pete worries too much," Zack replied. "Y'see, we're the Satin Circus, all of us are lesbian or gay. Stupid people think gay men like to..." "...do icky, grown-up things to children," Beau interrupted. "But that's not true. We do that stuff with each other, not with kids." "The truth is," Charlie took over, "there are places gays like us aren't welcome. If the cops found you with us, even if there was no reason to think we'd done anything bad to you and you told them we hadn't, they still might say we did and hold us here just to show us they don't like us." "Why?" Tommy asked. "'Cause we have to travel a lot," Zack replied, "to get from one show to the next. If we miss a date, the... uh..." "The people who own the land we rent to set up our tents could charge us extra for not being there." "They get part of our box office as part of their rent," Charlie went on. " If we don't show up, they don't get that money, so they charge us a non-appearance fee. If we miss to many shows, we could go bankrupt! And the cops know that they can hurt us that way, just because they don't like us. We can't risk getting the cops involved. Now, why don't you want to see them?" "I ran away before," Tommy said. "They said if I did it again, they'd put me in reform school with all the bullies!" "You get picked-on a lot?" Zack asked him. Tommy nodded. "They make fun of me 'cause I don't live with my mom and dad, they think it's funny when they make me cry. What did Mr Pete mean that I never dropped my balls?" The three men looked at each other. "Um... you see..." Charlie started. "You see, everybody in the circus juggles," Beau went on. "It's circus tradition. You drop the juggling balls a lot at first, when you're just learning. That's what he meant." "Can you juggle?" "Can I!" Beau declared. "Us otters are natural born jugglers! Do you want to learn how?" Tommy smiled at last. "Sure!" he cried. "I'll go get some balls!" Zack exclaimed, and hopped off towards the props wagon. "How old is Mr Zack?" Tommy asked. "Just Zack," Charlie replied. "He's twenty one, he just acts like he's still twelve. But we love him for it, he's got a big heart." "Us otters are big kids too, mostly," Beau said. "Juggling's easy once you catch on, it's just throwing and catching. We'll have time to show you the basics before Old Pete gets the truck going..."

Old Pete pulled the circus's old, brown pick-up truck in front of an apartment building. Tommy unbuckled his seat belt and pulled the latch on the door, but didn't get out. "I learned how to juggle," he offered. "Charlie said I'm good at it! Why can't I join the circus?" "I told you, you're too young!" Pete declared. "Zack was only twelve." "You're only nine. And Zack was too young, too. I only took him in because..." Pete growled. "I hated the bruises on his face and I hated the bastard who put them there. So I took a big chance. We spent three long years lying about his age before I could register him at Baraboo. I'm not going through that again!" "How old do you have to be?" "It varies state to state. In Baraboo, Wisconsin you can get by at fifteen." "But that's forever! I can't be alone forever!" Pete glared at Tommy for a moment, then growled in his throat. "Close the door," he growled, "I'm gonna show you something." They drove a few blocks back the way they'd come. Pete made a U-turn and stopped in front of an alley. "Look down there," said Pete. Tommy stared down the alley. It was dark, but soon he saw shadows moving in the darkness. Now Pete pointed a big flash light down the alley. Its beam caught several children gathered around a trash can. They seemed roughly Tommy's age or younger. Two were lifting scraps out of the trash can. They bared their teeth at the truck, then scampered away into darker shadows. Old Pete drove back towards Tommy's home. "They were naked," he said. "Did you see that?" (Tommy nodded.) "They were dancing boys. You can find them in every town. Travelling with the circus, you soon learn where to look. Some of those boys were kidnapped from poor homes. Some were sold by their families for food money. The boys you saw were the lucky ones, the ones who managed to run away. They live on the streets and in squats, mostly. Cops don't bother with them. Nobody wants them after what they ran away from. They grow up to be thieves, if they live that long. The rest... the unlucky ones..." Pete sighed a growly, angry sigh. "Men use them, they way they'd use a girl. Straight men, almost always straight. I think you know what I mean?" Tommy stared at him, aghast, but nodded slowly. He used an f-word, then pluralized an a-word, putting "their" in the middle. "I wasn't going to say it, but that's exactly what the bastards do." "But why would straight men do that to boys?" "Blessed if I know! Maybe they think it proves they can... push little guys around. Maybe they're too ugly or too rude to keep a girl. The bastards who bought or stole them keep them until they're too old to be cute any more. Then the poor kids get thrown out on the street to beg or sell themselves. Some can't take it and kill themselves. Some, if they don't have certain diseases, get sold to certain illegal butchers for 'exotic meat'." Old Pete pulled the truck up in front of the apartment building again. "Why?" Tommy asked. "Your aunt might not love you like your mom and dad did, but she keeps you safe. She gives you food and a bed. Doing chores ain't so bad. What I showed you is, it could be a whole lot worse." "But I'm alone!" Tommy cried. "What do I do?" "Learn to love ourself," Pete replied. "Make sure you can always count on yourself. Keep juggling, get to be good at it. Get strong and stay strong. A circus can always use another strong man." "But what if I like girls?" "Huh? Oh! There are lots of circuses, Tommy. My circus is... special. You gettin' out, or do I have to push ya?" Tommy unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door. "Thanks for the ride," he said. "Good luck, kid," Pete replied, as he reached across and shut the door behind Tommy. The cub walked up the walk to the apartment building and went inside. Pete pulled the truck away into the night.

Beau and Charlie lay together, cuddling in their extra-wise cot. Zack lay with snuggling them, each clown giving the aerial silks performer gentle caresses as they tried to nod-off together. "Did we do the right thing?" Beau murmured. "Tommy's too young to run away," Charlie replied. "Nobody loved him." "There's worse things." Zack sat bolt upright and slapped Charlie across his whiskery face. "Don't you joke about that!" he exclaimed. "Ow!" Charlie cried. "I wasn't joking!" He rubbed his cheek and lay back. "I know you know better than any of us how bad it could be." "You're damn right I do! Your mom and dad never sold you to a stranger! You weren't taken away, nobody tied your hands and made you bend over! Nobody..." Zack shuddered, his lower lip quivered. Charlie took him in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry bunny," he said. "I showed you how to escape ropes, remember?" Zack it his lip and lay back with the otters. "I'm sorry. You're right, Tommy's aunt is keeping him safe. I'm silly to worry that she'll betray him." He took a deep breath, let it out slowly, relaxing in his friends' arms. "Maybe I shouldn't have lied to Tommy about that car accident." "It doesn't matter now," Charlie murmured. "Try to get some sleep." "Are you okay?" Beau asked. Zack nodded. "I'm safe here." "You can't be happy..." Beau started. "...if you don't feel safe!" Charlie finished, with a big, toothy yawn.

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