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“That was a lovely memorial,” Tobias chuckled and took a sip of his macchiato, “Don’t you think so Sterling?”

It was my second day working for Tobias and I still couldn’t get over how weird the situation was. The first day, he showed me around the businesses, where all of the books were, and started teaching me how to launder money. That first day felt normal, almost like I was working in a legitimate job. Today, not so much. I didn’t realize how much of an outsider I was until I realized I was the only human there. I could only imagine what the canines must have thought of me.

“Yeah,” I took a sip of my own shot of espresso, “So what are we doing today?”

Tobias chuckled.

“This,” The Wolf picked up his napkin and wiped some foam off of his upper lip, “We don’t work after the funeral of someone in our organization. It’s bad luck.”

“How is that bad luck?” I asked, “I’d have thought it was bad business to just take a day off.”

“Well,” Tobias leaned back in his chair, “Fuck it. I’ll tell you anyway.”

I blinked and chuckled, mainly because I didn’t know what else to do.

“Sorry,” Tobias took another sip, “Fredrick only let you come and work for me on the condition that I didn’t tell you any sordid details.”

I scoffed. Fredrick’s attitude about this whole thing was getting on my nerves. I wasn’t in any danger, Tobias made that abundantly clear when he introduced me to the commissioner of police at one of his seedier establishments. Regardless of what Fredrick thought, I needed to do this. I needed to help support us.

“I’m my own man Tobias,” I replied, “You tell me anything you need to. I want to be a part of this.”

Tobias chuckled and smiled.

“When my great uncle was assassinated by the Amar family, back in 1970, my grandfather sent 13 men to get revenge on the day of my uncle’s funeral,” Tobias began, “It didn’t end well, 5 of them were killed by cops, and the other 8 still sit in jail to this day.”

“That makes sense,” I nodded and finished my drink, “So what happened with the guy whose memorial we went to. Martino right?”

The Wolf sighed.

“He was executed,” Tobias replied, “There’s a Southeast Asian crime syndicate out in California who wants to make inroads on our turf. We sent them a message, and they sent one back.”

I silently turned over this information in my head. The way Fredrick had been acting lately, angry and withdrawn, made even more sense. The family was at war, and now I was right in the middle of it. I’d have to talk to him tonight.

“Boss,” My bodyguard, a tall, gorgeous jackal named Cyrus tapped Tobias on the shoulder, “I think we’ve got trouble. The Zotovs are out in force today.”

Tobias raised his paw and shook his head.

“We’ve got nothing to worry about Cyrus,” The Wolf began, “They won’t try anything while were out in public like this. There’s way too many witnesses.”

Tobias was right, the outdoor patio of this café was stuffed to capacity with people and Furs of all ages.

“We’ve heard they’re looking for Sterling,” Cyrus frowned, “Ivan Zotov’s death has the whole city in an uproar. We shouldn’t be out in the open like this. Don’t you remember what happened to the Nishiguchi boy?”

I blinked. I hadn’t thought about the repercussions of that night in the bar. I was under the impression that Peter had taken care of it.

“What happened to him?” I asked, “Am I going to be ok?”

Cyrus put his paw on my shoulder. I blushed and nervously played with my hands. I knew Tobias hired this guy for his looks. He gently massaged it and chuckled. Suddenly, I hoped to God my pants fit poorly enough to conceal my rapidly hardening member. Why did I have to have such a huge crush on Jackals?”

“Of course you will,” The Jackal began, “Nothing like that is going to happen while I’m around.”

“See,” Tobias chuckled, “That’s why I hired him.”

Sure it is. I thought to myself with a frown.

“Do you want another?” Tobias continued, “Because I totally could.”

“No thanks,” I replied, “I’m not a big coffee drinker. I’m already regretting this one.”

Tobias shrugged and got up from the table. Cyrus walked over and put his paw on Tobias’s shoulder, the same way he did to me.

“I don’t think that’s wise,” Cyrus frowned, “We shouldn’t be here.”

Tobias groaned and lifted the Jackal’s paw off of his shoulder.

“Fine,” Tobias began, “I’ll get it to go and drive us all to the Rowdy.”

Cyrus nodded and took the Wolf’s seat. He breathed a heavy sigh as Tobias slowly meandered into the café. He stopped, looked me over, and chuckled.

“I liked your suit from yesterday better,” Cyrus began, “It brought your eyes out a lot more.

I blushed and looked down at my empty cup.

“You should wear that one more often,” The Jackal smiled, “It’s really quite flattering.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I rubbed my arm, “You know I never really had a reason to wear a suit before this. I didn’t even own one until three days ago.”

Any kind of clothes shopping was interesting for me, especially when I went with Freddie. He was never the type to meander around stores like I did. I almost felt bad for him, until I realized he did the exact same thing whenever we went out to a liquor store. Never mind, we were definitely even.

“That’s a shame,” Cyrus chuckled and moved his paw up to my hair, “You should style your hair too. Muss it up a bit.”

I blushed harder and chuckled nervously.

“I just want you to look good,” The Jackal chuckled and leaned back in his chair, both of his paws behind his head, “Tobias only hires the pretty ones.”

“I’m not the first?” I asked, “What happened to the last ones?”

Cyrus laughed.

“Tobias hits on them too much and they get uncomfortable and leave,” Cyrus shrugged, “They can’t exactly file a sexual harassment complaint. They just leave.”

Now that I had spent some time with Tobias, I noticed how much of a horndog he was. He made Freddie look like a 90 year old nun. I was lucky I wouldn’t have to put up with that. I’m sure Freddie made that point abundantly clear. Tobias walked back to the table, a white foam coffee cup held firmly in his paw.

“Ok Cyrus,” Tobias set down his coffee and straightened his suit, “I’m ready to go. Are you happy now?”

The Jackal looked intently behind my head towards the road. His eyes widened and a snarl formed on his face.

“Get down,” The Jackal reached behind his back and pulled out a pistol, “Get down now.”

“What?” Tobias turned his head in that direction and yelped, “Oh shit Sterling get down.”

Tobias tackled me to the ground before I could see the source of the danger, but it didn’t take me too long to find out what was going on. Cyrus flipped the table over in front of us just as a hail of automatic gunfire erupted from the street. Bullets whizzed all around us. They cut through the table like a hot knife through butter and covered my black suit in a dusting of wood shavings. Screams and cries of pain erupted from the people around us, and continued after the gunfire stopped.

Cyrus bent down and lifted the two of us up with one paw. I looked around, dazed, and saw at least a dozen people and Furs lying on the ground dead and far more wounded. A couple, a man and a woman, lying dead on the ground next to our table caught my eye. Their wedding rings shined in the sun as blood pooled under their outstretched hands. Cyrus was hurt too, his left arm was soaked red with blood.

“We need to get out of here,” Cyrus put his gun away, “Cops will be here soon.”

“Come on Sterling,” Tobias put a firm paw on my shoulder, “We’ve got to move.”

Tobias shepherded me through the carnage with Cyrus hard on our heels. It was weird, even though all of these people were dead, dying, or hurt all around me, I couldn’t feel anything. It felt like I was a zombie, lurching mindlessly from one destination to the next. I was snapped out of my musings when Cyrus shoved me roughly into the back of Tobias’s car and got in beside me. Tobias started driving, getting us away from the scene as soon as possible.

“Fuck,” Tobias began, “Is Sterling alright?”

Cyrus looked at me.

“He’s still in shock,” Cyrus grit his teeth, “We need to get to a safe house. I’m bleeding a lot.”

I looked down at Cyrus’s arm and gasped, like I just snapped out of a trance. His paw was clamped onto his wound, and blood seeped through his fingers.

“You’re hurt,” I reached out and pressed my hands down over the top of his paw, “Cyrus. Are you going to be ok?”

The Jackal chuckled and pulled me close to him with his free arm.

“I just did my job,” Cyrus smiled at me, “I get shot so you don’t have to.”

“We’ll call you a doctor as soon as we get to the Rowdy,” Tobias called back, “Will you make it that long?”

“I should,” The Jackal replied, “Just hurry.”

Tobias nodded and payed full attention to the road. I looked down at my hand and gasped. Now it hit me. I started to shake, bad, and wanted very badly to break down and cry. Soon, all I could see in my mind’s eye was the images of the horror I had just witnessed. I stared ahead, and felt my conscious mind let go. Cyrus sighed and kissed my forehead.

“Just let it out,” Cyrus began, “It’s better that way. Trust me.”

I did as I was told. I started to cry into Cyrus’s broad shoulders. Suddenly, all I could feel was fear. I knew what had happened, and now that it started to resonate, I was lost. There was no stopping these tears now. Tobias looked back at the two of us in his mirror and sighed.

“Freddie is going to fucking kill me,” He said to no one in particular.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Fredrick,” Peter began, “Can I have a word?”

I flinched and looked up from the gun orders I had been pouring over for the last twenty minutes. As far as I knew, I was home alone. After the funeral I was the first to leave. I had things to do, even if my family wasn’t supposed to work.

“I’m sorry sir,” I set the binder down, “I know I’m not supposed to be working.”

Peter scoffed.

“Don’t worry about that,” My father began, “That’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

I straightened up my suit and stood up.

“Well ok,” I replied, “What is it?”

Peter cleared his throat and held out a wedding ring, my mother’s wedding ring. It was beautiful shining silver with 5 diamonds, one large one framed by four smaller ones. My jaw dropped.

“That’s Mom’s ring,” I gasped, “Dad, you can’t be serious.”

“I am serious,” My father replied, “You need to marry Sterling.”

“I know,” I looked down and rubbed the back of my head, “I just never thought I’d have your blessing.”

Peter put the ring in my pocket and pat me on the shoulder.

“Stand up straight,” He began, “A Werner never lets another man know that he’s unsure of himself.”

I did as I was told and lifted my gaze.

“You have my blessing,” Peter moved his paw down to mine and squeezed, “It took me a while, but all I had to do was think of how your mother would have reacted.”

I felt a twinge of sadness. My mother died in the hospital when I was three after falling down the icy steps on our back porch and landing on her head. My only memories of her were of her drawn out death. All I remembered was a rapidly dying woman, who didn’t even know my name anymore.

“How would she have reacted?” I asked.

Peter sighed.

“She would have wanted to meet him, Fredrick,” Peter replied after a short pause, “She would have liked him, and I would have hated it. The world is changing, and that means that I have to change with it.”

I moved my paw to my breast pocket, where my father deposited the ring.

“Thank you,” I began, “Thank you so much Dad.”

I leaned in and hugged him and, to my surprise, he hugged me back. My father was never the type to show his affection, I could only remember getting hugged by him a couple of times in my life. I knew that my father and I had shared something special, and that made me happier than anything else in this world. We embraced for a few minutes and broke away when my father whispered in my ear.

“I only pray this ring is luckier for him than it has been in the past,” Peter began, “I-.”

Fortunately for me, before my father finished his sentence, my phone started to ring. I pulled it out and frowned as I answered it.

“Tobias,” I began, “What is it?”

Peter looked at my face emotionlessly, trying to figure out what was happening without intruding.

“It’s bad,” Tobias replied, “Someone tried to kill us.”

I stiffened and snarled. Tobias whimpered on the other end of the line. He definitely knew he was in trouble.

“Where are you?” I began, “Who do you need?”

Tobias took a deep breath.

“I brought us to the Rowdy,” Tobias began, “Bring Dad and Max. They’ll know what to do.”

“I will,” I replied, “Is anyone hurt?”

“Cyrus took a bullet to the arm,” Tobias sighed, “He’s going to be fine though.”

“Good,” I said curtly, “We’ll be there shortly.”

I hung up and roughly shoved the phone back into my pocket.

“We need to go to the Rowdy,” I told my father, “Someone tried to kill Tobias and Sterling.”

My father nodded. He was his cold, emotionless, self again.

“Can you call Max?” I asked, “I’d like to get down there.”

“Go,” Peter began, “We’ll be there soon.”

I stormed out of my house and into my car. I didn’t know what I was feeling at that moment. Fear? Anger? All I knew was that I needed to get to the Rowdy as soon as I could. I peeled out of my driveway and sped down the street. My mate, and soon to be husband needed me.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I practically kicked down the door to Tobias’s office. My brother was sitting at his desk with a drink in his paw. He looked up at me and sighed.

“I know,” He began, “I’m sorry.”

I put up my paws.

“Come here,” I replied.

Tobias sheepishly got out of his chair and advanced towards me. With a sigh I sweeped him up into a bear hug and held him close to my chest. Tobias was still my brother, and I needed to make sure he was okay. He held onto my back and returned the hug. He whined quietly, almost effeminately, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to embarrass him.

“Are you ok?” I asked, “Are you going to be ok?”

Tobias pulled away from me and nodded.

“I’m much better now,” Tobias chuckled, “I thought you’d be mad at me.”

“Why would I be mad at you?” I replied, “This isn’t your fault Tobias.”

My brother rubbed the back of his neck.

“But it is,” Tobias began, “Sterling wouldn’t have been involved if he wasn’t working for me.”

“Don’t think like that,” I replied, “I have the sinking feeling that Sterling would end up involved one way or another.”

I took a deep breath.

“I’m glad it happened this way,” I pat my brother on the back, “I trust you to keep him safe.”

Tobias smiled and nodded.

“He’s something special Fredrick,” Tobias chuckled, “I can see why you love him.”

I chuckled.

“He’s in my bathroom,” Tobias continued, “With Cyrus. I don’t think that Jackal’s ever guarded someone who actually cares if he gets hurt.”

“Really?” I raised an eyebrow, “Do I have anything to worry about?”

Tobias laughed and shook his head.

“Not at all,” Tobias replied, “I think he’s doing it to take his mind off of what happened. It’s really kind of cute.”

“I’ve got to see this,” Fredrick chuckled, “Want to eavesdrop with me?”

Tobias smirked and led Fredrick down the hall to his private bathroom. I always found it excessive and weird that Tobias had his own bathroom. There were two up on this level of the club, one for both sexes, which were hardly ever used. Tobias was the only person who spent any time up here. He led me into the women’s room, to the stall on the far wall and moved the toilet paper dispenser. From there, we could see into Tobias’s private bathroom from a hole in the wall.

“What the hell is this?” I muttered under my breath, “You want chicks to creep on you?”

Tobias chuckled quietly.

“There’s a shower on the other side,” Tobias began, “This is a glory hole. Just in case I get bored when I’m showering at the office.”

I grumbled and knelt down in front of the hole. Cyrus was sitting shirtless in the middle of the shower on a large bench. Sterling sat beside him, his hands nervously held in his lap.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” The human asked, “I feel terrible about this whole thing.”

Cyrus chuckled.

“It’s not your fault,” Cyrus rubbed my mate’s back with the paw on his non-injured arm, “I was doing my job. I’d feel terrible if this happened to you.”

Sterling smiled and looked over at the Jackal.

“For a guy who just had a bullet dug out of his arm, I am ridiculously happy,” The Jackal continued, “I’ve never had an employer who cared this much about what happened to me.”

“Really?” Sterling looked taken aback, “But you’re so nice.”

“That’s because you let me be nice,” Cyrus reciprocated Sterling’s look, “Damn, I wish you weren’t in a relationship.”

I growled under my breath.

“Easy Fredrick,” Tobias began, “Cyrus knows his place.”

“It sure doesn’t look like it,” I replied, “If he tries anything, I’ll teach him a lesson he won’t soon forget.”

Sterling chuckled nervously.

“I appreciate that Cyrus,” Sterling put his hands back in his lap, “But I am in a relationship. You, you know that right?”

Cyrus blinked and scooted back.

“Oh I know,” Cyrus put his paws up, “I was just saying.”

I smirked. I didn’t worry about Sterling cheating on me. That man was more faithful than a puppy. Tobias tapped me on the shoulder and pulled me away from the hole. I was the one he needed to worry about…

“You should go and see him,” Tobias began, “Taking care of Cyrus is the only thing keeping him from freaking out.”

I sighed. During this oddly voyeuristic escapade, I totally forgot about that Sterling had been there too. I never would have imagined that he would be in as much danger as my brother. The whole ordeal had to be been terrifying. I could only imagine what was going through his head.

“Good idea,” I replied, “Do you mind if I go alone?”

Tobias shook his head.

“He’s going to be so happy to see you,” Tobias chuckled, “It’s going to be just what the doctor ordered. Do you know your way?”

I nodded and stood up.

“You aren’t going to watch right?” I asked with a smirk, “I assure you nothing worth watching is going on?”

Tobias shook his head.

“Don’t worry,” My older brother replied, “I’ll head back to my office.”

Tobias and I walked out of the bathroom and went our separate ways. I took my time walking to my brother’s bathroom, mainly because I didn’t know what I needed to do. One thing was clear, Sterling was much tougher than I ever gave him credit for. The fact that he was able to have a normal conversation with someone after being shot out told volumes about his constitution. I’d have to keep that in mind when I talked to him.

I stopped in front of the door, took a deep breath, and walked into the bathroom. It was huge and had separate rooms for the toilet, shower, and sink. I wondered if my father knew how excessive this was, scratch that, of course he didn’t know, because if he did, my brother would be in a world of hurt. My dad was wealthy, we all were, but didn’t like when that wealth showed. Tobias apparently never got that memo

I walked up to the door that led to the shower, and stood between the two statues of naked canines. Slowly, I opened the door and stepped inside, my heart sinking as I saw Sterling sitting quietly at the edge of the bench. He looked up, and that was it. The strength he had shown earlier, was gone. Tears brimmed from his bluish-grey eyes and his hands started to shake. Cyrus sighed and looked up at me.

“Take him home,” The Jackal began, “He’s had a rough day.”

My mate creeped forward, his shoulders slumped and head bowed. I put my arm around him once he was close enough and planted a kiss on the top of his head. He started to cry quietly, his tears pattering down on the light stone floors. I held him tightly to me and slowly rocked him.

“I’m here now,” I planted a couple more tender kisses on the top of his head, “Do you want to go home?”

Sterling looked up at me and nodded. Damn it, seeing him like this made me want to cry. I wiped his tears and tenderly looked into his eyes.

“Ok,” I rubbed the back of his head as he bent down to cry into the front of my suit, “Let’s go.”

I started to walk the two of us out of the bathroom. Before I closed the door to the shower, I looked back at Cyrus. The Jackal was standing up, and had his bloodied shirt over his shoulder. Cyrus deserved more than the sum of money that Tobias gave him. He was exceptional.

“Thank you Cyrus,” I began, “I really owe you one.”

The Jackal made eye contact with me and nodded.

“Take care of him,” Cyrus replied as I walked out.

Slowly we made our way out to the car. I took him out the back way. I knew Sterling wouldn’t have minded, but I wanted to keep him away from prying eyes. It wasn’t like people would have thought of him less, after all, they all knew who and what he was, but I wanted to spare him any unnecessary contact.

“Sterling?” I asked, “How are you doing?”

Sterling didn’t answer. I sighed and held him closer. I was going to make him okay again, I just needed to be patient. People snapped out of things at different rates, I could only hope that Sterling would snap out of it quickly. He was safe now, and with me. If that didn’t help, I didn’t know what could.

My idea worked, we didn’t see a single soul on the way to my car. Sterling wiped his eyes and got into the passenger seat. He stared resolutely ahead, tears still flowing freely down his cheeks. I opened the door, inadvertently startling him.

“I’m sorry,” I got in to my car and gently shut the door, “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Sterling nodded and looked out his window.

“It’s ok,” He replied, nearly too quiet for me to hear, “I know you didn’t.”

I gently reached out and touched the human’s shoulder. At that moment, I realized that Sterling was strong, but delicate. He was like a flower, standing tall against the unrelenting march of winter. He was the only one, the last flower fighting to survive the frost. In a way, I knew he would be overwhelmed, but damn it I respected him. It was no small thing to be weak, in a way, I wished I could feel the say he did. It took a certain bravery to allow one’s self to be overcome the way Sterling did, it was like he knew the best way to make it right, was to lose himself. Then, and only then, would he be able to heal.

The human didn’t react. He didn’t give any indication that I even touched him. I didn’t know how to describe the swirling pit of sadness I felt. Softly, I reached up and brushed my fingers against his hair. That tender motion seemed to stir some life into Sterling. He looked at me, his eyes void of all emotion. I hoped to God that he wouldn’t turn into me. If I had killed the spirit of the man I loved, I would never be able to forgive myself.

“Are you ok?” I asked, “Is there anything you want to talk about?”

Sterling fought back a fresh series of sobs and violently shook his head.

“Ok,” I started the car and turned on Sterling’s favorite radio station, “Let’s go home.”

The first notes of Comfortably Numb played over the radio. As the lead singer came in, Sterling abruptly reached out and turned off the radio. I sighed and pulled out of the parking lot. It was going to be a long drive home.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sterling didn’t say a word until we pulled into the driveway of our house a half hour later. As I stopped, he looked over at me, put a hand on my arm, and squeezed.

“I’m sorry,” He said as I turned off the car and turned to look at him, “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” I asked, “You didn’t do anything wrong Sterling.”

The human sniffled and looked down at his lap.

“You were right,” Sterling began, “I wasn’t cut out for this. I didn’t think things like this happened in your family.”

“Things like what?” I asked, “Like what happened today? Sterling, that kind of thing happens all the time. I tried my best to keep you from it, to keep you from being frightened for me.”

“I’m sorry,” Sterling nearly broke into tears again, “I shouldn’t have ever agreed to work for Tobias. I should listened to you. You were right about me, right about everything.”

I sighed.

“That’s not important right now,” I replied, “What’s important is that you are ok. That’s all that matters to me.”

Sterling nodded and got out of the car. I watched him shuffle into the house and sighed. I needed to do something more, because it was just killing me to see him like this. At a much faster pace, I followed Sterling into the house.

“Sterling?” I asked as I hung up my coat and took off my shoes, “Where are you dear?”

The human didn’t answer. I walked through our small house and found him in our bedroom, silently stripping off his clothes.

“You going to bed?” I asked, “It’s not even 4 yet.”

Sterling looked up at me.

“I’m just going to take a nap,” Sterling sat down on the bed, “Can you make dinner tonight?”

I nodded.

“I can,” After a moment’s hesitation I sat down beside him, “We could always get take out. That way I could stay in here with you.”

Sterling thought about it for a moment and shook his head.

“I don’t want you to see me like this,” Sterling sighed, “I’m sorry.”

I whined and nuzzled his cheek.

“I want to help,” I began, “Maybe I could cook your favorite meal. That would be fun right?”

Sterling smiled a little.

“You sure?” Sterling let out a quiet laugh, “Last I checked you couldn’t make chicken polenta.”

“That’s true,” I rubbed over his arm, “Is spaghetti ok?”

Sterling kissed my cheek.

“That sounds wonderful,” Sterling smiled as I wrapped my arms around him and laid the two of us down on the bed, “Aren’t you going to take your clothes off?”

I smirked and gave my mate a few tender kisses over his lips and chin.

“Are you really that anxious to see me naked?” I replied, “I thought we were taking a nap.”

“I think I changed my mind,” Sterling began, “I’d rather shower and eat. Although I wouldn’t say no to a little quality time with you”

“Well,” I growled playfully and held him tighter, “Someone sounds like they’re doing better.”

Sterling laughed and kissed my cheek.

“How could I feel anything but amazing when I’m with you?” Sterling rubbed the side of my muzzle, “You make all my troubles melt away.”

I looked away from the human and smiled slightly.

“I’m glad I could help,” I looked back into Sterling’s eyes, “You know, if you want to talk to someone about today. My father would be more than happy to set you up with a therapist. He’s good like that.”

Ever since my grandfather ran the business, the Werner’s had someone who acted in some capacity as a therapist. Someone who the guys could talk to without outing the business of the family. I never talked to the current one, but knew people who did. From what I heard, she was very good at her job. Sterling sighed.

“Did we have to bring this up?” Sterling shuddered, “If I start thinking about it again I’ll feel just as badly as before. Let me forget Freddie. Just for a little while.”

I whined and nodded.

“Maybe,” Sterling continued, “Let’s see how tonight goes.”

“Are you better now?” I asked, unable to help myself, “I’m so worried about you.”

Sterling wormed out from under me and nodded.

“I don’t feel as bad as I did earlier,” Sterling sat up against the headboard, “I’m just a little antsy. I just want things to be normal tonight.”

“Ok,” I replied after a short pause, “I can do that.”

“I mean,” Sterling chuckled nervously, “I’ve finally stopped seeing it, you know. The car ride home was just… I just kept seeing it.”

I pursed my lips but kept silent.

“How do you,” Sterling looked down at his lap, “You know, deal with it.”

“Deal with what?” I blinked, “What do you mean?”

My mate sighed.

“You, you know,” Sterling began, “You’ve killed people.”

I blanched and did my best not to react. Sterling was right. I had killed two people in the past two days and truthfully I don’t think I was handling it the right way. Right after I did it, I felt bad, but then, I didn’t feel anything. Holy shit… Maybe I needed to give that therapist a call.

“It’s just,” Sterling continued, “You seem so normal. Like it doesn’t even bother you anymore.”

“I,” I began, “I don’t think that’s a good thing Sterling. You’re reacting the right way to this stuff. You shouldn’t be desensitized.”

“Don’t you want me to be tougher?” The human replied, “I figure you don’t want me to be like this each time something bad happens.”

I whined. I hated feeling vulnerable like this.

“I want you to be you,” I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down before I broke down in tears, “If I wanted to date someone who didn’t feel, I’d have found some criminal. Some despicable piece of shit like me.”

Sterling just looked at me, his eyes sizing me up. I had never met a man who was that good at reading people. My mother could do it, my brother’s wife could do it, and I’m sure women all over the world could do it, but Sterling, may have been the best at it.”

“Maybe we can go see that therapist together,” Sterling held my paw tightly, “I think it could help both of us out.”

I nodded and exhaled shakily. I don’t know how, but I just barely managed to contain my emotions. The last thing Sterling needed right now was to take care of a blubbering Wolf. Actually, knowing Sterling, it would have been just what he needed. Oh well, maybe next time.

“I love you Freddie,” Sterling began, “Thank you for this.”

“For what?” I asked, looking over at the human sitting beside me.

“For being you,” Sterling kissed me on the lips, “For being yourself for me. I know it’s hard to be in your position, hell, it’d be hard even if you were doing my job. I’m happy you’re comfortable enough with me to share yourself.”

I couldn’t help it now. Tears rolled down my face, soaking my face in salty shame and embarrassment.

“Each time you do,” Sterling blinked back tears of his own and wiped my eyes, “I fall more and more in love with you.”

“You can’t mean that,” I rubbed the back of my head and sniffled, “It’s got to be annoying. It’s not like I’m some sort of perfect guy. I’ve got issues. Seeing those can’t be pretty.”

I had never really thought of it, but I suppose I did have my issues. I was a gay high ranking member in a criminal organization, who had a covertly homophobic father for a boss, and brothers who I always felt were better than I was. If you asked someone normal, someone who wasn’t in my family, they would have told you that hiding from these issues wasn’t healthy. I had been brought up to be emotionally distant, and now, as an adult, that upbringing was finally starting to rear its ugly head. It was, quite simply, the scariest thing I had ever felt. Sterling frowned and nuzzled up to me.

“Everyone has issues,” My mate replied with a scoff, “I knew your issues the second I met you.”

I blinked and chuckled quietly.

“Really,” I wiped my eyes, “What were they?”

Sterling rolled his eyes and held up three fingers.

“You acted like a total macho man when I met you in that bathroom,” Sterling shook his head and laughed, “You were clearly closeted, clearly the youngest child, and clearly had some serious daddy issues.”

I nudged him with a shoulder and stuck out my tongue.

“There’s no way you knew all of that,” I laughed, “You’ve got to be pulling my leg.”

“Call it what you want,” Sterling smirked, “I know I’m right.”

We shared a laugh followed by a long, comfortable silence. Sterling leaned in and kissed my cheek.

“Are you sure you want to cook dinner tonight?” Sterling asked, “I know how much you hate cooking.”

I nodded. In this moment, there was nothing I wanted to do more.

“I want to,” I rubbed the human’s arm, “I want to do something nice for you.”

Sterling smirked.

“You could always buy me something shiny,” Sterling nudged me, “That used to be your go to.”

My eyes went wide. In all the stress and uproar that happened today, I totally forgot that my father had given me my mother’s wedding ring. Proposing to Sterling would be the perfect thing to make everything better. I knew that because, as low down as it sounds, I read it in his diary. What? Can’t a guy be curious?

“That was when I felt like I needed to impress you,” I grinned, “Now I’ve got you right where I want you.”

“Oh do you?” Sterling chuckled, “I think you’ve still got some more impressing to do.”

I smirked. You’ll be impressed all right. All I had to do now was find the perfect moment.

“Go take your shower,” I kissed my mate on the forehead, “I’ll take care of dinner.”

“Ok,” Sterling began as I got up from the bed, “Try not to burn yourself again. You remember what happened last time.

“Yes,” I grumbled as I walked out of the bedroom, “How could I forget?”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I managed to make dinner without hurting myself, but I made a mess. Hopefully, Sterling wouldn’t have a need to go into the kitchen until tomorrow. My father called me soon after I left the bedroom. He wanted Tobias and I to take time off until he and Max found the culprits and made them pay. I also found out we’d have guards. I hated having guards.

My ears perked up at the sound of Sterling shutting the water off. He was a very water-conscious individual so it was rare for him to spend more than a couple minutes in the shower. Today, he took his time. If today were normal, I’d have been crazy if I didn’t throw a little shit his way, especially after all the crap he gives me about my long showers. Lucky for us, today wasn’t normal. A few moments later, Sterling walked out into the dining room, wearing an aqua blue tank top and green shorts.

“Did you set the table?” Sterling asked, “Or are we eating in the living room?”

I shrugged.

“I forgot,” I replied, “Which would you prefer?”

“Table for sure,” Sterling chuckled, “I can do it hon.”

“Actually,” I put up a finger, “Can you get something for me?”

“Oh sure,” Sterling smiled, “What is it?”

“It’s in my chest pocket on my jacket,” I smirked, “You can’t miss it.”

“What is it?” My mate asked, his arms crossed.

“You’ll see,” I chuckled, “Go, I’ll get the table set.”

Sterling grumbled and walked out of our dining room. I slowly set the table, waiting for the inevitable squeal of delight. My mate walked back in after I finished placing the last piece of silverware.

“What’s this?” He asked with a poorly hidden smile as he extended the ring out to me, “Where did you get this?”

“Well,” I took the ring and turned it over in my paws, “This is my mother’s wedding ring.”

Sterling’s jaw dropped.

“Freddie,” Sterling gasped and shivered as I got down on one knee in front of him, “Freddie, oh my god, you can’t be serious!”

“I am,” I held the ring out in front of me, “Sterling. I love you with every fiber of my being, and I want to make you mine, forever. Sterling, will you marry me?”

Sterling tried to talk, but couldn’t. After a few moments of trying to get it out, he nodded. He shook, like an excited puppy, as I put the ring on his finger.

“Does this mean,” Sterling looked over the ring and gasped, “Does this mean your father is letting you get married?”

I chuckled and got up off of my knees.

“He is,” I replied, “I could have married you if I wanted to, it just wouldn’t really be a marriage. I’d have to hide it, which means you would have had to hide it. This time just worked for me, worked for us.”

“Okay,” Sterling blushed, “Does this mean I’m Sterling Werner now?”

“Only if you want to be,” I kissed Sterling on the cheek, “Come on, let’s eat before it gets cold.”

“Isn’t there stuff we should talk about first?” The human asked, “I don’t want to do something wrong.”

“What could you possibly do wrong?” I sat down, “Look we’ve got a couple of days to talk about it. My father wants me to lie low, which means you’re doing the same.”

“Lie low?” Sterling asked, “Are we in danger?”

“Probably,” I sighed and dished up some pasta, “We’ll be ok. We’ll have a guard to take care of us while we stay here. Don’t worry, just eat your dinner.”

Sterling looked at the pot of spaghetti and back at me.

“Does that mean we can’t have any sex?” Sterling smirked, “I don’t want to get you into trouble with the guards.”

I returned the smirk.

“Just eat your food smartass,” I replied, “The guard won’t show up till tomorrow morning. I’ll let you figure out what that means.”