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SUNLIGHT

“You really came up with all that?” Marruk asks.

“Yes…?” I reply.

“It sounds nice, bud,” Rhoun says as he lines up the razor.

“All by yourself? Tyu and Kess didn’t help you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.

“Sit still, please.” Rhoun insists.

“I just didn’t expect you to come up with something so romantic, Kit.”

“Oh, so I can’t be romantic?”

“W-well…”

“Rhoun!”

“Sit still , Tucker!” Rhoun pleads and tilts my head to the side.

“I didn’t say you can’t be romantic, just that I didn’t expect it.”

“And why not?”

“W-well…”

“RHOUN!”

“Bud!” Rhoun firmly tilts my head and places a paw on my neck to keep me in place.

“You’re just kinda…” Marruk waves his paw through the air.

“Kinda what?” I ask, glaring daggers into the mirror.

“A m-mess, bud,” Rhoun says.

“Hey!" Et Tu, Rhoun?

“I was worried someone would find you at the bottom of the stairs when you moved out on your own.” Marruk laughs at his own dumb, not good, stupid joke.

“Asshole, I–” I start but Rhoun’s desperate whine cuts me off.

“If I c-cut you Doctor Senno will kill me.” Rhoun drags a razor down my cheek, putting a righteous end to my sideburns. “Stay still .”

I stick my tongue out at Marruk’s reflection.

“Don’t push your luck,” Marruk steps away from the door. “When you’re done get out here, we got you somethin’.”

Rhoun’s tail wags.

I smile at myself in the mirror, Marrow will love my new haircut. I mean, it’s not new new , just shorter and tighter. I was approaching ‘scruffy’ territory, and I wouldn't go out in public on Earth with those sideburns.

“Is this good?” Rhoun leans close enough that I can feel him breathing down my neck.

“You did great, bud!” I run a hand through my hair. “It looks way better, thank you so much!”

Rhoun’s tail wags not once, not twice, but three times.

“Now, uh, I gotta shower.”

“R-right,” Rhoun shuffles out into my room.

I peek out the door and see Marruk and Rhoun standing over my bed looking down at something. “Stay out of my stuff!”

“Uh-huh.” Marruk says without looking at me. “Tyu and Kess want a picture before you go.”

“Pfft, whatever.” It feels like I’m about to go to my first high school dance and my parents want a thousand photos.

I try not to spend too much time in the shower, and when I finish drying I smile at myself in the mirror. I look good, I turn slightly. All that walking has paid off; I bounce on my toes. Damn, my ass looks fantastic.

Ugh, does that mean I have to thank Marruk, Nocce, and Tyu for making me exercise? Nah. Not doing it. Marrowyn is the one who should thank them anyway, he’s going to reap all the rewards. Hopefully.

I put on my boring Soknoss gray clothes and find Rhoun and Marruk still smiling down at my bed. Seeing them grinning at each other makes me suspicious, they never agree on anything.

“Okay, what’s this thing you got me?” I ask to get their attention.

“Kit! Is that you? What’d you do with my clumsy, badly dressed, ungroomed, ugly-cute human?” Marruk smirks at me. “You look adorable ! Almost enough to make a carain jealous. Almost .”

I stick my tongue out at Marruk. “Wait… Do people think I’m ugly?”

“Just get over here,” Marruk says, doing nothing to help my freshly bruised ego.

Rhoun is beaming and his tail won’t stop wagging as he gestures to the bed.

“You’ll love this,” Marruk says.

“Whatever, you better hurry and take that picture So… I…” I reach down and lift a jacket off the bed. It’s a slightly lighter shade of blue than the one Rhoun gave me when I first arrived, but smaller. “What is this?”

“Turn it around!” Rhoun says with a broad grin.

I flip the garment over in my hands. My name is embroidered on the back in Coraynn, and below that in English. At the center is an inaccurate, but endearing, rendition of Earth. “I…” It’s got a leathery texture on the outside but is soft and fluffy within. “Guys…”

“Put it on, Tucker.” Marruk pats my back.

It reminds me of a varsity jacket. I love it. I’m surprised they even remember how to spell my name in English, and this must have taken forever to get made.

Anytime I try to get custom clothes made that aren’t just the standard Soknoss grays I have to send a video proving I’m real and that I don’t have a tail. As a result, I have hardly any custom clothing, most of it is small articles like socks and underwear. Like the cool red pair I’m wearing for Marrowyn tonight.

This could be the nicest jacket I’ve ever owned.

I zip up the jacket and spin around in place for Rhoun and Marruk. “How's it look? It fits really well!” It hugs me in all the right places and has the added benefit of being warmer and more comfortable than the maintenance jacket Rhoun got me, but I can’t imagine parting ways with that.

“Awesome, bud,” Rhoun says.

“Mmmm, I still think red would look better on you, but you look good,” Marruk adds with a wink. “Now stand there and let me get your picture,”

I stand in the light and smile. I’ve never been good at pictures, what should I do with my hands? Marruk and Rhoun snap a few pictures. I know when they’re done because my monitor is flooded with messages from Tyu. I check the time, still only the 22nd mark.

“Kess says you look ‘cute’, and Tyu… I’m not saying that, but you should ask her what she thinks later.” Aww, that’s so nice of them.

“D-doctor Senno is going to love it!”

I run across the room and squeeze Rhoun. “You guys! This is so cool! How did you even get this?!”

“It wasn’t– Hey! Hey! Watch it!” Marruk protests, but he doesn’t push me away, instead he rests a paw on my back as I hug him. “It wasn’t easy, and it took two months to get here. I figure if you have to wear blue, it should at least fit you.”

“Jackass.” I step back. “You guys…Thanks. It’s nice knowing I, uh, I have you two to look after me. It means a lot.”

“Please don’t cry,” Marruk says. "But you're welcome, Tucker."

“It was Doctor Senno’s idea. I thought it’d n-never get here, but the timing is perfect!” Rhoun adds. “B-but you should go, you don’t want to be late!”

Marrowyns idea? Of course. I’ll have to thank him properly later. “Thanks, guys! I’ll let you know how it goes” I double-check my pockets for my Terminal Key and anything else I might need. “Okay. Okay, bye, uh, yeah, bye!”

“Proud of you, Kit!”

“Have f-fun!”

With one last small hug from each of them for reassurance, I depart. I have a date. A date! When was the last time I even had a date? At least a year, but the days here are a lot longer than Earth…

I probably shouldn’t think of my failed romances. I’m lightyears away from all that heartbreak and Marrowyn doesn’t even have a good frame of reference for what makes a good date to a human so if it goes horribly wrong I can just say ‘Woops, just a silly little human thing’!

It won’t go wrong. I remind myself of all the support I’ve gotten from my friends. Marruk and Rhoun even left work early to help me with my haircut and stuff. Is this what having older brothers is like? The cool kind who’d be totally okay with you being gay and help you impress your crush.

If my big brothers and crush were giant alien dogs.

On the walk to the elevator, a few people compliment my jacket. I didn’t even get compliments on my appearance on Earth! Besides my mom, but I’m pretty sure moms are required to call their sons handsome.

She would love how I look today.

Noooooooot the best time to think of my family. I pull out my monitor and catch up on my messages from Tyu. Every message I read is replaced by three more.

????TYU ????: TINY.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH–

There are another five paragraphs of ‘Ahhh’ and a shockingly detailed ASCII rendition of Marrowyn and I holding hands before I get to what I believe is the actual message.

????TYU ????: YOU’RE SO CUTE AND I LOVE YOU!

Tyu has been my cheerleader from the day I met her, I’m not sure I’d have been able to confess my feelings to Marrowyn without her.

I reply with thanks and send another message to make sure that everything I need for tonight is where it’s supposed to be. I went to the cafeteria earlier to pick up some food, it should all be in a quiet, private corner of the gardens.

A romantic picnic with a view of the stars where we can just chat, and as long as we aren’t late we should get a perfect view of my surprise for Marrowyn. Not that I specifically arranged the surprise, but I think he’ll appreciate it.

I want to let him know I think about him all the time. If this goes well I might even move back in with him! Would that be more or less awkward? Would we sleep in the same bed? That would be nice, he’d be like a big, sexy, weighted blanket I could just snuggle with.

What if he misinterpreted what a date is? He was excited yesterday but maybe that's just because I asked him to hang out again. Stop! Don’t overthink it, I’m sure he knows what I meant. I’ll know as soon as I see him.

He’s going to be so nervous when I roll up in my sexy new jacket, I can’t wait to watch him stumble over his words and blush. Hehe, he’s just too cute. A carain spots me and ducks into a nearby room, they really don’t care for the whole ‘smile at everyone all the time’ thing, but I can’t help it!

I stumble as I step out of the elevator. What if human flirting is creepy to him? I wasn’t even good at flirting before. Maybe he’ll take the lead. Pfft. Right, Marrowyn acting all sexy and suave? No way, he’ll be too nervous.

He’ll blush behind his glasses, stumble over his words… Heh, this is going to be great . I’m a little bit early, but I don’t think Marrowyn will mind. I bet he’ll want to go over Coraynn or something, what a dork.

This time I’ll be the cool, sexy, confident guy. Yeah, I can be that. Compliment his fur, tell him he looks cute, and hold all the doors open for him. Or I would if they weren’t all automatic. Alright, yeah, cool, confident, smooth .

Running a hand through my hair and straightening my jacket, I knock on the door.

Tssk . “Tucker! Y-you’re early, ah–”

“ Hey –” I start in my most sexy voice. At least until I open my eyes.

Marrowyn stands in front of me wearing only his boxers and all my confidence vanishes.“Your jacket came! You look...” He places a paw on the sleeve. “Wonderful…”

“Uhhh–” I have to fight every urge to look down as he rubs my arm. His fur looks a little damp, I must have caught him drying. His chest looks so full and soft. By the Heart, he looks good. “Thanks. You look g-good, too!”

His tail begins to wag as my eyes drift lower. “Tucker?”

“Oh! Oh! Sorry, I’m sorry, I–” I’m being such a creep! Ugh!

“It’s fine, Tucker I–”

“Soooo sorry, I’m early, I should have–”

“No, no, don’t worry I–”

“ –Haircut, so I came early and–”

“You look nice, uh, c-come in, you can sit–”

“ – Your fur looks great –”

We continue our awkward, stammering, Frankensteins Monster of a conversation inside. We keep talking over each other until at one point we just stand there in silence. Marrowyn raises his arms for a hug but puts them back down.

His eyes are wide and I think he forgot he’s just in his underwear. Do not look down. I look down. Ahhh!

“I, uh, I’m going to finish getting ready. Uh…” He raises his arms for a hug that I slowly step into. There’s no way he didn’t notice me staring.

Void, really, Marrowyn? This is the most uncomfortable I’ve been with him in months, but hover paws ?? He just keeps his arms stretched out at a workplace-appropriate distance.

This is less of a hug and more of me pressing myself into his belly. I stand there unsure of what to do with my own hands and trying not to look down again. I settle by patting him on the back.

“Thank you?” I ask. Why did I ask ?

“B-be right back.” Marrowyn turns around and I stare at the ceiling.

Because if I don’t stare at the ceiling I might stare at his big, fat, perfect ass. I might see how his thick, bushy tail is wagging because he’s excited to see me, how his butt stretches the fabric of his boxers to its limit highlighting every curve, how it’s just so round , and how it bounces with each step he takes.

Heart, does it bounce.

But I don’t know that, because I am not looking.

Dammit! Could I have been more creepy if I tried?! Staring at his junk, his ass, ugh! Right in front of him, too. Learn subtlety, Tucker! Fuck! Maybe it’s not ruined, yeah, it’ll be fine. He didn't react badly, at least, maybe I can tell him being a weird sex pest is a human thing? Yeah, yeah!

I try to distract myself by exploring the room, but not much has changed since yesterday. The only notable addition is the flowers I got him are sitting on his desk in a little vase. I’m glad he likes them.

Next to it is the workbook he made which is now filled with my rough scribbles and notes. I sit in the chair and fiddle with the things on his desk. When I lived here, I’d move them around to mess with him.

I move a pen to the opposite side of the desk, shuffle some unimportant papers, and lower his chair juuuuust a smidge. He especially hates that. From my lowered vantage point, I’m at the perfect height to snoop through a drawer.

My mischievous grin fades when I pull out a bag and inside find… Lubricant, condoms, and a chalky-textured tablet, like a Tum. I’m confused until I see a little note that I can’t read much of except my name and that it’s signed by Paytr.

Tssk . “I’m ready to go, Tucker.”

I shove the bag back into the drawer and close it as quietly as I can, the chair providing just enough cover to keep Marrowyn from seeing. I spin around and smile at him, he’s wearing a gray tanktop and pants.

“Were you moving stuff around on my desk again?” He puts on a fake scowl.

“N-nope.”

“Your heart beats faster when you lie, Tucker.” He walks over and pats my head. “Fix my chair and let’s go.”

“Thanks,” I can’t hide my blush, he must think I’m embarrassed because he caught me messing with his stuff, not because I was just thinking of swallowing his load and chewing a tum after the fact.

Good thing Paytr gave the same supplies to Marrow, too, because I forgot to bring mine. I really need to not get ahead of myself here, just because he has that stuff doesn’t mean we’ll use it, right? Would that little antacid tablet deal with the aftertaste? I wonder wait carain cum tastes–

“Are you okay, Tucker?” Marrowyn asks when we get into the hall.

“Mhm!” Just thinking about your dick in my mouth and wondering if the carain have their own version of the pineapple trick to make cum taste better. Totally normal thoughts.

Of all the times Marrowyn and I have walked through the halls together this is the worst by far. I struggle to keep my mind out of the gutter and he’s as nervous as I’ve ever seen him.

I don’t think either of us is sure what to say. I already know I like him a lot, we lived together for almost a full cycle! But I don’t want him to think I’m some perv who just wants sex by suggesting we forgo the foreplay.

We’ve hardly said a word to each other the entire walk. The only break in the silence is when an acquaintance says they like my new jacket or greets Marrow. Marrow keeps glancing down at me, clearly anxious.

“We’re here.” Is the best I can muster and only when we arrive in the gardens. A pathetic attempt to break the silence.

It’s crowded this time of day, this is one of the only places you can escape the lifeless utilitarian halls of the Ikoriod-2. I know for a fact we'll have privacy because I called in a favor. I redirect Marrow from the oncoming crowds, many of whom still offer me side-long glances.

His paw rests on my back. “Tucker, are you sure you want to be here?”

“Hmm? Yeah, why?” I ask.

“There’s a lot of carain, and I know crowds can make you nervous,” He lowers his voice to a whisper. “And since we’re here on a date , I wonder if you would be more comfortable someplace private?”

Unsurprisingly, Marrowyn is thinking about my comfort. “That’s sweet, but we’ll be alright. Come on, he’s waiting and we’re gonna be late.”

Marrowyn plods after me. “Who's waiting? Tucker?”

We take a less common path around the outside of the gardens toward a seemingly untended corner overgrown with weeds, untrimmed trees, and flowery bushes. Rhoun once told me that the team in charge of the gardens leaves this spot rough on purpose.

Marrowyn looks at me questioningly as I approach the bushes. “Tucker be careful, some of these might irritate your skin. You could get a rash!”

“I’ve been here before, don’t worry.” I say as I step into the brush and duck under a low branch. It’s only a few feet until I reach a small clearing. Unlike the rest of this corner, this grove is kept immaculate. Manicured rows of flowers and hedges surround the grassy clearing.

At the center is a stone bench, and a large blanket has been laid out on the ground. On the bench are a couple of covered trays with our meals and drinks. I look up through the glass ceiling at the stars.

“Marrowyn come on I–”

“You’re late.”

“AHHHHHHH!” I stumble back and fall to my ass.

“TUCKER?!” Marrowyn bursts from the brush, a branch tears part of his shirt, and leaves are stuck to his fur. “Tucker! What’s wrong what–”

“Doctor Senno.” Nocce nods.

I groan and lay back on the grass. “How do you do that, Nocce?”

“I’ll be around for a mark.” He walks past Marrowyn into the surrounding bushes.

“Thanks! I owe you one!” I shout after him.

“You owe me two.” He barks back.

Marrowyn stands over me. “Are you alright?”

I nod and take the opportunity to admire the view of him from down here, the way his shirt stretches over his gut, and his big yellow eyes, definitely the hottest date I’ve ever had. “Uh, there’s food.”

He sits in the grass next to me. “I must have walked by this spot thousands of times.”

“Rhoun told me. I think the gardeners like me or are scared of me, so I get to use it sometimes. As long as I don’t tell too many people.” I’ve only told Marrowyn. And Nocce. Tyu and I hang out here sometimes, and I told Paytr because he deserves a break, and also Marruk. And Kess and Mylo, we play card games here.

Not too many people.

“It’s nice, and quiet,” Marrowyn says, the bushes do a good job dampening the sounds of nearby crowds. “Quite the view.”

I sit up. “Yeah, I thought you might like it.”

The conversation dries up after that. The brief burst of adrenaline from Nocce scaring me and Marrow's comments on my choice of venue don’t carry the rest of the date. He nibbles at his roll and watches me while I eat.

Once the food is gone so is our excuse, now all that’s left is an uncomfortable sense that this isn’t normal . I hate it. It used to be so easy to talk to Marrowyn, it was easy yesterday , but now that we’re doing… this, it’s so hard.

Staring up at the stars I spot a particular dot in the vastness and it reminds me of why I brought him here. “Marrowyn, isn’t that Alrain?”

His ears straighten. “Hmm? Yes, it is.” He chuckles. “It looks so small from here.”

I scoot closer to him. “It’s your favorite, right?”

“What?” He looks down at me.

“Alrain is your favorite star. You told me that once.”

“You remember that?”

Yeah. When you took me to the observatory and told me about the stars we could see. It was right after I got here.”

He looks up at Alrain. “Thank you, Tucker. That's very thoughtful.”

Maybe one day he can take me back to the observatory. Heh, maybe they’ll find Earth, I know at least one of the astronomers is looking for it. I would love to be able to show him my star.

It’s been so long since I felt the warmth of a star, any star. What did it feel like that day as I walked across campus to my first class at my new school? Sunlight is such a simple thing and I took it for granted, and now I can barely remember.

A strange feeling rises from the pit of my stomach, up through my chest, into my throat, and takes root behind my eyes. The pressure is familiar, it moves throughout my body and leaves a dull ache everywhere it goes.

I follow Marrow's eyes toward the golden gleam of Alrain. It casts no meaningful light and offers no warmth at this distance. Marrowyn stares with adoration, but all I see is a yellow dot.

A year since I got to see my sun, a year since I saw it rise or set. I always preferred cloudy days or lounging in the shade, but now I would give anything to feel that gentle warmth kiss my skin.

I recall how nice it felt to step out into the light after class or on a leisurely walk through town. Here, on the Ikoriod, there’s nothing like that, not really. Everything is artificial, the sterile light, and empty walls.

It’s just so cold.

“One day, I want to show you what Alrain is really like.” Marrowyn places his arm around my back and caresses my shoulder and the cold slips away.

I lean into him and rub my face against his side. He’s so warm.

“I promise it’s warmer and brighter from Iyeo. Do you like the snow, Tucker?”

“Uh, yeah, I do.” I put my arms around his belly, unable to get enough of his touch.

“Good!” He smiles a big, toothy grin. “When I toured Iyeo, we stopped at a lodge in the mountains. I’ve never seen a more beautiful sunset. I want to take you there.”

“You do?” I melt into him as he rubs my back.

He blushes and his eyes are gentle, soft, and warm. “I promised I’d show you everything, and by now you’ve seen most of the station. Most of what I know about Iyeo and Uriun I’ve read from books, we could explore them together.”

I smile at the thought. “Not Ryke?”

“I don’t think you’d see much of Alrain from Ryke, but if you want to go I’ll take you. As long as you don’t mind getting wet, or dealing with my soggy fur.” He laughs hard, his belly bouncing.

“You do have a lot of fur, but I think I’d manage.” He’s so comforting. “I need to get better with my Coraynn first.”

“Your Coraynn is improving fast, Tucker, you’ll be speaking it fluently by the end of the cycle! You already write quite well.” He says.

“Pfft, you’re just saying that because you like me.” I never could take praise.

“I–I do like you, but I’m serious, Tucker.” He pats my back.

“I just have a good teacher.” I put a hand on his leg and squeeze. He’s so big, so soft, and warm. He’s really warm. Patient, gentle, kind, and always there for me.

“Is… Is this okay?” He asks.

I nod. “Yeah.”

“You just seem… sad. Is there anything I can do?” His eyes soften.

Sad? I’m on a date with a great guy who is attracted to me, cares about me, listens to me, all the things a good date does. He makes me happy and he makes me laugh, he’s considerate of my needs, and he’s respectful of my boundaries. How could I be sad?

All the things my mom used to say were important qualities in a man. I’ve got no reason–

Oh. That.

I bury my face in his shirt. “I’ve been thinking of Earth a lot lately. Especially my mom.”

I’m not looking at him but I can tell that he’s worried. He takes a sharp breath and rubs his thumb in circles on my back. “Why do you think that is? Y-you don’t have to answer, a-and I’m having a great time! Really! But, talking about it might help?”

“I’m n-not sure…”

Why? I dunno, could it be because I haven’t felt the natural light of my sun, or any sun, in over a year? Because I’m a stupid idiot who doesn’t know how to be happy? Because I don’t think I deserve nice things so I go out of my way to ruin them?

“Uhh, maybe–” I sniff.

Is it possible it’s because I don’t know how much time has passed on Earth? I wonder how many days they don’t even think of me anymore. How long will it be until I can’t remember what they looked like? I already don’t remember what the fucking sun felt like.

That’s what I think, but it’s not what I say. “I think she would love you guys.”

Marrowyn’s thumb stops. “You do?”

I nod. “Yeah. I do.”

With the door open everything I’m feeling or thinking comes pouring out. I tell Marrowyn she would love Marruk because he pretends not to care, but he’s always going out of his way to look after me and give me fashion advice.

The way that Rhoun sneaks me into places we’re not supposed to be so I can have privacy or just hang out. How Nocce literally picked me up and carried me away from a crowd of visiting scientists who wouldn’t leave me alone.

And that time Tyu and I had a ‘slumber party’. We stayed up all night just talking, and making jokes, and she told me stories about her home and taught me how to make the ASCII art on my monitor. Or when Mylo reserved a theatre for us to watch scary carain movies, I didn’t sleep for a week.

That Kess comes over to help me learn whatever game we’re gonna play at game night so I don’t fall behind or get left out, even if they weren’t super fond of me at first. And of course how Paytr stayed by my side for two whole days when I got sick while Marrow was busy with Tyr. He didn’t leave until my fever broke.

I’m such a wreck. Crying on a first date, super sexy, Tucker.

I take off my nice jacket and wipe my nose on my sleeve. “She’d love you the most.”

“Really?” Marrow says with an eyebrow raised.

“Yeah. Only partly because you’re a doctor.” I laugh.

“Does that matter?” Marrows asks.

“Well, no, she’d never say it out loud either. But you being a doctor would just mean you’ve got a good job, you’re smart, that kind of thing.”

“I see.” He doesn't look like he got my bad joke.

“She’d appreciate that you’re so patient with me, and gentle, and honest. Even if that last one took a while.” I prod his belly with my elbow.

Marrow coughs. “I, uh, sorry–”

He rambles on, making excuses about all the times he wasn’t truthful with me. I look up at his face, he’s so cute. His big goofy smile, his floppy ears, his deep amber-gold eyes shining down on me with all the warmth and love I could ever need.

“Marrowyn,” I put a hand on his belly and glide it up toward his chest. His body becomes rigid.

“Tucker I–I–” I can sense his hesitation, there’s no heartbeat to inform me of his nervousness but his breathing becomes faster and his tail thumps on the ground and my heart is beating fast enough for the two of us.

I close my eyes, tilt my head up, and hope that he’s getting the hint and that I don’t look weird. If he weren’t so damn tall I could just–! Mmf! There we go. He presses his muzzle to my lips.

Wow, this isn’t like anything I ever imagined… It’s… It’s… Terrible. Awful, actually. It might be the worst kiss I’ve ever had. His face is so big, and my lips are so small, and how do you even kiss a muzzle?

He dwarfs me which makes getting a good angle difficult for either of us, and he’s just as lost as what he should be doing with his paws as I am with my hands. I have one hand on his leg, the other in the center of his chest, while his arms are floating to my sides.

I slowly climb up into his lap, but it does nothing to make the kissing any better. Am I bad at this? Is he bad at this? Or is it just because of the alien thing? At least here I get to feel his soft fur and don’t have to crane my neck as much.

Marrowyn moves his paws and puts them on my waist and back. I open my eyes and see his are open too. He has a concerned expression. Everything is very… smooshed this close. A bit of saliva drips from his muzzle onto my lips.

We struggle to find a comfortable position, and my neck is starting to hurt. But despite it all, I love it. I push a little further, moving my hand behind his neck and digging my nails into his fur.

I can tell he thinks this is uncomfortable too, but it’s cute how hard he’s trying. He keeps twisting his muzzle, and tilting his head. His warmth spreads through me and I remember that this is what the sun feels like.

As romantic as that thought is, we can’t keep going like this. Maybe I could… I stick my tongue out a little, is a french kiss a thing here? Marrowyn’s eyes grow huge and he responds by… Licking my face.

“Pfft! Marrowyn!” I laugh and would fall out of his lap if he weren’t holding me.

“I–I’m sorry, I, er, don’t have… I don’t know how to…” He whimpers like a sad puppy. “I’m sorry.”

“Marrow it’s fine !” I lean into his chest. “I don’t think there’s like, a guide, on how to kiss an alien. The muzzle-to-mouth thing is weird.”

“No, there isn’t.” He smiles, but I can tell it’s forced. He must feel awful!

“That’s another thing we’ll have to explore together,” I say. “We just need a lot more practice.”

His jaw drops and heat rushes to my face. By the Heart, I hope that didn’t come off creepy or weird. Why can’t I keep those thoughts to myself?

Marrowyn looks over his shoulder, then back to me. “Tucker, maybe we should clean up and go,”

Dammit, I came on too strong! “Sorry, yeah, uh I guess we sh–”

His tail is out of control. “We can go back to my room and… practice, only if you want to. We don’t have to! I–I can walk you back to your room and…and…”

“By the Heart, yes.” I slide out of his lap and rush to clean the clearing as fast as possible.

With his help, it takes just a few minutes to get everything packed in bags. Marrowyn is walking so fast that I’m having a hard time keeping pace. He can move really fast when he wants too.

“Slow down!” I laugh. I don’t think anyone has ever wanted to make out with me as badly as he must right now.

Outside the gardens, we wait for the elevator. When it arrives I hear Marrowyn curse, it’s packed. He squeezes me in front of him with his belly pressed to my back and I feel like something is pressing into…

Oh.

“Marrowyn,” I whisper as we step off the elevator, my face is burning and my heart threatens to burst from my chest. “Are you… Uh…”

He whines.

Marrowyn keeps me in front of him, probably to hide his erection. Void, it must be as thick as a doorknob! When we get within a few feet of his door it opens and he practically shoves me inside.

“Marrowyn wha–” I’m lifted off the ground and pressed into the wall.

Marrowyn’s face is a lusty, frightening scowl.

“Marrowyn!” My voice is breathy and high, I wrap my legs around his waist. Holy shit, that was hot! A growl rumbles throughout him as he buries his nose in my neck and gently nibbles, ohfuckohfuck, yes! "Marrow!"

“Tucker, I’ll–” He stumbles over the words. “I’m going to–!” He deflates and his scowl is replaced with a nervous frown.

That burst of rough confidence didn’t last long. “Are you okay, Marrowyn?” I scratch behind his ears.

He looks into my face. “Tucker, we…we should talk.”

“Right, yeah, yeah, of course!” Marrowyn sets me down and I sit on the bed next to him. “What’s on your mind?” Did I do something? Is there a carain sex thing that I don’t know about? I should have paid better attention to Paytr.

Marrow places his paw on my leg. “Tucker, I think you’re extremely attractive,”

I sense a ‘but’ coming.

“But…” Marrowyn looks away.

Damn.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He says.

“We can just go slow. I trust you, Marrow. We’ll take our time, y’know, why not just start with the kissing stuff?” I totally get it, this is weird . We’re not even the same species!

Marrowyn exhales. “Thank the Heart,”

“Whatever you need, Marrow I–”

“Human mating just sounds so violent!” Marrow says.

What?

“Just the thought of having to throw you around, crush you, destroy you, I… Maybe it’s not so bad between humans because you’re closer in size, but I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you, even for… mating.” He continues.

Excuse me?

“Will you still be satisfied if we go slow? I might be able to do some of that,” He smiles. “After some… practice. When I know it's safe.”

“Marrowyn,” I blink. “What are you talking about?”

Marrowyn raises his eyebrow. “Human mating rituals, I’m not sure I’m ready for them, it's a lot rougher than I'm used to.”

“W-why do you think that, exactly?” My voice rises in pitch with each word. I do not remember having this conversation.

“When you told us about your ideal mate.” Marrowyn replies.

“When I... What?” No the fuck I did not !

“That night you were out with Marruk and the security team, a couple of months ago.” Marrowyn says.

“I–”

Memory is a curse.

“Tucker?” Marrow puts his paw on my shoulder.

The drinks. The drink . I remember I started to get louder and louder, Tyu and I danced, that was the night I taught Mylo the word ‘poggers’ and then Marruk asked if I… had a… partner… on Earth…

I said…

Brief glimpses and snippets of conversation trickle into my consciousness. Mentions of ‘big men’ who can ‘crush me’, how I wish a guy would just ‘destroy me’ and ‘throw me around’. I wish the hangover had just killed me.

“Void, take me now.” I bury my face in my palms.

“What’s wrong?”

Ughhhh, I wish I could forget that again.

“Marrowyn. I was drunk . Intoxicated. Fucked up, not in my right mind!” I can’t look at him.

“So you… don’t want to be thrown around?” He asks.

“No! I– Maybe, but in like, a gentle way.” I clear my throat. “That thing where you pushed me up against the wall, I could go for more stuff like that but uh, in general, no.” I blush.

“You liked that?” Marrow asks, his voice is quiet.

“Y-yeah.”

“Would you like it if I were more… assertive?” He leans closer.

“Uhm,” I squeak. “I–I think so.”

He growls and looms over me. “Tucker,”

“Mmmmawyn?” My voice is a tiny, shrunken whisper that gets quieter and quieter as he leans closer until his nose pressed against mine.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, his tongue is hanging out of his mouth and his breathing is heavy and heat radiates from his body, tempting me closer.

I nod and Marrowyn pushes his muzzle to my lips for another kiss. The logistics are still a mess, but his newfound confidence helps to make up for the lack of skill.

“Mmm!” I moan into his mouth as his paw slowly glides down my back and lifts my shirt, once it’s been discarded his lips are pressed to mine again.

“I missed you,” He cups my rear and lifts me into his lap, his shyness about his hardon must be gone because he grinds it into my backside. Fuck, he’s huge.

He stops to take his glasses off and removes his shirt, I press my face into his neck and breathe him in. This close there’s a faint, natural smell that I never noticed before.

He smells good . “Mmmarrowynn,” As he kneads my ass I arch my back and press it into his paw so he gets a better grip.

“Do you like this?” He laughs and squeezes my ass. "When I touch you?"

“Yes.” I greedily kiss at his jaw and muzzle. “So good…” I hope he doesn’t think I’m desperate. Or at least, not too desperate. But fuck, I need this man right fucking now. A single paw can cup my entire ass, he’s just huge .

"I like it, too." He says before pulling me into a much more aggressive kiss.

Void! He's huge. "Wow..." I feel awestruck when he pulls away.

“What should we do now, Tucker?” Marrow runs his paws over my bare skin, threatening to send his fingers below the waistband of my pants.

I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest. That’s a good question. I like the kissing and touching. I bite my lower lip when I feel his gigantic cock against my ass. I’m not sure I can handle all that, but by the Heart am I going to try.

I look up at Marrowyn and stroke his cheek. “I have no idea.”