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Straight Down

Warning: Drug use, drug abuse, drug addiction, psychological/physical/emotional abuse

Please do not drive under the influence.

That morning, at 9:30 a.m., Ryan was still awake and was now needing to take the trip home so the proper rest could be taken before work started the following day. A great deal of sleep would be required if the burnt out raccoon was to function at all like a normie. As a farewell gift, Arden generously provided his new pet with several anti-psychotic pills to knock him right out as well as around a half gram of meth in case the work week proved to be too difficult.

In a weird coincidence, after taking the pills but before they took hold, two text messages came through.

One: “Hey, Ryan! This is Amanda from the other night. I just wanted to thank you for helping me have the BEST night I’ve had in such a long time. Looking forward to escorting you to your next party!”

Two: “Mmm, that’s so hot. I’m hardly awake but let’s catch up soon? Maybe go out next weekend?”

Both messages boosted Ryan’s mood and sent him off into pure, dead, chemically induced sleep. From 11:30 a.m. on Saturday until 7 p.m. on Sunday, the partied-out raccoon drifted in a medication and ketamine fueled sleep/daze in an attempt to recover as best as possible from his extreme weekend into uncharted waters.

Work was rather tough during the week. The only way it was manageable was through regular bumps of dissociative and unreasonable quantities of caffeine through energy drinks and coffee. Something that should have, but didn’t, raised concern was the fact that every work day Ryan had the bag of dope in his pocket. “Just in case.” It nagged at the back of his mind, constantly seeking any way to justify ‘just a bump' while the established rules waged a conflict over the possibility. Ultimately, the ability to withstand the urges won out until the weekend.

Over about three months everything began to change. Ryan and Vivian became extremely close but at the point that the young custodian had made up his mind to ask his soulmate feeling lover to be a couple, the sweet mustelid informed him that her mother had grown ill and needed to be cared for the little remaining time left. That was that, she was gone for who knows how long. It hurt. Both of them suffered the separation as Ryan saw her off from his home after a final visit.

During this same time, conflicting lifestyles wreaked havoc on the poor man’s mind. Weekends involved hitting up raves, selling psychedelics and spending his time with Mondero and Vivian. That was *always* how the first night and into Friday morning went. Friday nights, when Dero and Vivian were recovering, Ryan found himself getting tweaked and fucking Arden and, eventually, David as well. Then the recovery period. On repeat every week. Over time, the depletion became too harsh to handle and using meth creeped insidiously into the night shift employee’s work life.

At first, it was all too easy. “Just partied too hard.” “Aahh, I shouldn’t have drank last night. So hungover! Haha!” The excuses were reasonable. He’s young. He’s excited. A vibrant night life. Easy mistakes. “Oops. Silly me!” Was laughed off by everyone in the beginning. This attractive 23 year old raver was gifted a lot of leeway in his hungover work with the overall standard dropping quickly.

After losing his lover to a great divide by distance for who knows how long, things rapidly fell apart. The initial blow was when Ryan arrived home to see Mondero sitting at the kitchen island with a somber look completely undisguised all over his typically joyful and beautiful feline face. The conversation went:

“Yoooo, Dero! What’s up my beautiful duder? Something up?”

“Homie… Just listen to me, okay? I need to say my piece before anything.”

Wary and concerned nodding was all that was returned from the silent raccoon.

“Man.. I’ve been noticing some shit lately. I mean, you’ve been partying way harder than we used to. Too hard, too often. Literally all out every. Single. Weekend. You disappear all the time and we never kick it unless we’re getting high. You started acting weird and I… I didn’t wanna invade your privacy but… I needed to know, so I checked your room. I still feel bad for doing it but I found…. This.”

To accompany his statement was the sliding forward of the wooden box that Ryan kept his meth pipe, wrapped in a bandana for cooling and protection, and only some of his dope. He never kept it all in one place. Capturing the sight of Ryan in a state of fear, shock, and deflation, Mondero laid it out as concise as possible.

“I’m out, man.. You’re my brother and I can’t watch this play out. I’ve been sitting on this for a day, which gave me time to move to another homie's pad. I’m sorry bro… I am.. I love you and hope you come back some day…”

With this, Dero dropped the house key on the surface and walked outside and down the road with tears in his eyes. That was it. Ryan had nobody to come home to with a beaming lion smile just happy to see him. No homie to go out with. Just a house with the spare room totally void of anything. The addict's heart ached and he stumbled over to the island and cried. Sobbed. Huddled over in utter agony.

The second blow was out of pure coincidence that the two happened on the same day. Right as Ryan had recovered from the episode of emotional turmoil, an email notification signaled for a heavy vibration from the man’s phone. Grateful for a potential distraction, he was gravely disappointed and fear destroyed his heart and mind. An email from the company employing him declared a building wide drug screening. Not. Good. At. All.

“FUCK! AAAAGGHRHHGRGG!!!!!!”

Ryan grabbed his box and fell to the floor, sobbing but with dried eyes emptied of their tear reserves. Being the peak of summer, all he wore was a pair of shorts and a black zip-up hoodie wide open for ventilation. As soon as his ass hit the floor, the hood was tossed up over his head and used to cover his eyes and face. It took another half hour before he could control the shuddering breaths enough to open the box. There were other options, of course there were, but none could remove the unbearable pain like using could right now. It just needed to stop! Why were things like this happening to him?! Well, he knew. It was all on him. But it shouldn’t be a problem! The things he does should be none of anyone’s concerns. Right..?

For right now, though..? Fuck it. Several large chunks of crystal were loaded through the stem and the concentrated blue flame of his trusty torch lighter quickly transformed them into a puddle of liquid. Suffering urged Ryan to take massive hit upon massive hit it rapid succession until the hot-cold tingle and goosebumps lit up his body as relief melted him like a shard in the heated pipe. Once calmed enough, it became apparent that it would not be enough. Distraction was what was needed. Gingerly laying the glass down into the box, a number was dialed and the tone trilled.

“Ryan? Hey! What’s up?”

“Hey Arden. I… *sniffle*.. could you come over, please..?”

“Oh dear!! What’s wrong??”

“I just… I can’t… I need.. *sniffle* just please… Maybe David, too, if he wants… I’ll send my address. Please…” The end button was pressed as the idea of saying anything more wrenched his guts up fiercely. The gay men had never visited the lion and raccoons home on account of the different lifestyles they enjoyed and of paranoia that the partners would give away the secret habit somehow, as if Ryan wasn’t already on that path anyways. Addict logic isn’t always good logic.

In 10 minutes, due to speeding, rather than the typical 20, Arden and David knocked on the door. Still huddled on the floor, he called out for the two to let themselves in. Within moments of the door swinging inward Ryan had David at his side and Arden standing up before them. The Doberman had much more of a genuine sweetness to him and had gotten quite fond of the new person in his life.

“Oh, hun.. What’s the matter..?”

Ryan felt more at ease now that he was somewhat high with David cradling him in the canine’s lap and stroking through the striped fur over and over.

“*sniffle* I just.. i.. ugh…” somehow the tears had been replenished and the ache in his heart cut through all the chemical shielding, “I’m FUCKED! I just… Dero just walked out because he found my kit and I’m out of a job because they’re doing a drug test and… and… AND… I’m gonna need to leave this place.. I’m so… I don’t know… can we just… I don’t wanna talk right now.. I need a distraction… I need you guys..”

David, with sincere compassion, comforted, “There, there. It’ll be okay. Look, that spare bedroom in our house..? It’s yours. Come live with us. You’ll be okay. Since you’re taken care of, is there anything we can do to help you feel better?”

Any sort of pause was absent as Ryan firmly stated, “I just need to get high. REALLY fucking high. And then we need to fuck until I can’t think anymore. Today FUCKING SUCKS and I’m SO DONE with it! Arrrrghhhh…..” His body tensed and shook in rage and hatred of the day and everything it contained and represented up to this point.

Pouncing at the perfect opportunity presenting itself, Arden cut in with an somewhat off putting excitement within the context of what was happening, “Oh, yes! I’ve got just the recipe for that! Be right back!” He darted outside to the men’s dark grey truck and returned with a small kit. Wandering into the only inhabited bedroom, the others were called to follow suit and the three were shortly sat on the bed together. As Ryan leaned up against a very supportive David, the grey wolf knelt down in front of his ‘pet' and went to work shaving the crook of the striped left arm to expose the flesh.

Might as well say fuck it to everything. If shooting dope could chase the pain all away, then shooting dope it is. Ryan observed with paralyzed gloom and derealization as the process neared completion. A smile that didn’t match the situation was painted across the wolf’s face as the syringe pierced the skin and a cloud of deep crimson flagged into the barrel.

“Ready?” Arden checked.

“Do it." Straight to the point. The most direct line to get what he wanted. Ryan watched the needle empty it’s concoction into the most efficient route of administration. A sliver of a second prior to any effects a massive cough burst from the suffering raccoon’s chest, something that occasionally occurs from I.V. use of methamphetamine. The rush that followed was mindblowing in its intensity and euphoria. Pounding in his ears was his own heartbeat, his skin burned as if it were on fire and his hoodie was whipped off in a blur, and much of his concerns were stripped away. Ryan laid back onto the bed, collapsing under the weight of something so powerful. Roughly 30 seconds transpired before he could rise up. Once upright once more, he found himself squirming in place with an unfamiliar sensation and he looked through massive black holes toward the one who aided this condition with a degree of confusion.

“Mmm.. I know that look. Hehe.”

Still dazed and somewhat baffled, Ryan speedily inquired, “What? What look? What is it??”

Arden smugly declared, “You’re feeling it, aren’t you? You want to be fucked right now.”

Voracious emptiness felt on the inside burst into Ryan’s awareness as the wolf’s accurate assessment resonated within. It was completely true. Record breaking arousal hit once again as begs to be filled were spoken with a vocal weakness, “I… I do! Please fuck me! I need you both right now..” Fully emphasizing the truth and desire behind the pleading was the act of stripping down nude, getting on all fours on the bed, and fishing the Doberman’s cock from its confines before licks and sucking on the tip to encourage a hard on. Causing a bit of a jolt was the sudden presence of a HUNGRY wolf gliding back behind him and eagerly slathering his tail hole in saliva.

A generous amount of spit had coated both Ryan’s tail hole as well as the above average wolf cock and the introduction was attempted with some degree of care. Nothing came as a result of the efforts as the, up to this point, exit only refused to give way and accept the visitor. Mostly, it hurt quite a bit. Upon switching to a finger, and to the frustration of both the grey furred and bandit faced men, nothing changed.

At the breaking point of irritation at the denied sexual pleasure, Arden abruptly growled a suppressed noise of impatience and spome shortly toward his partner, “Babe! Medicine. I can’t take it. I need this to move along.”

This made no sense to the soon to be spit roast, but to David it did. The chocolate colored hands had been massaging and guiding Ryan’s head and groaning sweet reassurances and compliments to him, such as, “Oh, fuck hun. You’ve gotten so good at this.” “God, your muzzle is the fucking best!” and “Mmhh… it’ll all be okay. Mmfuck… We’ll take care of you.”

At the suggestion though, which would certainly help out everyone in this increasingly tense scenario, David gingerly raised the head of the guy blowing him. It revealed that tears had once again found a secret reserve as they poured out in streams as the attempt to not feel the heartbreak still partly failed. Ryan gave one denied try at diving back down but ultimately looked up to his Doberman lover with disappointment and confusion. Immediately after kissing the young striped head, a quick motion presented a little kit from David’s breast pocket of his slim fit grey business style shirt.

“Here, sweetie. This will help relax and make it hurt less.” A square of aluminum foil with a black, partially smoked glob of heroin and a straw were produced.

Heroin, now..? Fuck it. Might as well. David took the lead and placed the straw gently between Ryan’s cute black lips and then took over the role of carefully lighting the flame beneath the metal sheet to start the ball sliding down while producing a trail of smoke that was sucked up through the tube. The first hit was rough, acrid smoke burned at his throat and it took a herculean feat of control to hold it back. Number two was easier, as were three and four. That’s where it stopped. David’s supplies were, once cooled, replaced to their home and their previous activity was unpaused.

A different style of liquid warmth and relaxation caught up and melted Ryan in a way that, though unbelievably pleasurable, still wasn’t quite able to make the inner pain cease it’s assault. Firm hands seized a harsh grip on his hips and the huge cock attached to the aggressive wolf made its next attempt with a clear attitude of this going according to plan, no matter what.

“GNNNHHH" Ryan grunted as his hole was forced into submission and stretched wide. After a period of adjustment to the shock of pain that accompanied the loss of his anal virginity, the in and out motion of being mounted and filled by another man became heaven. It made that empty itch that had been all encompassing and influencing finally get scratched. “Oh FUCK!! Harder.. harder Arden!” With his request issued and having received an instantaneous and enthusiastic approval, Ryan kissed the thigh of his Doberman savior and made a motion for the man to hop up for ease.

Once positioned between the two men, it all hit. All he cared about right now was receiving a tail hole full of rough fucking from Arden while slurping away at David’s dick, much more average sized like his own, and massaging the balls beneath. He loved the look on David’s face, clearly so deep in enjoyment from Ryan’s attempts to push his limits out of gratitude and occasionally gagging. Also present was the lovely look of such compassion and affection and care for the suffering younger male with the desire to give anything to comfort him. It meant so much! Feelings of being penetrated and stretched out and kept filled combined with the meth high for the ultimate euphoria. Suddenly, the pain turned off. No more fear, heartbreak, sadness, nothing. Just hedonistic pursuits that shut off his thinking.

The only things that mattered was cock. Cock in his muzzle, cock in his ass, and his own which bounced and slapped his belly with every single aggressive hump gifted to him. Sensing the progress through David’s accelerating throbbing on his tongue and the flavor of pre coating his mouth made for endless satisfaction in addition to the rapid thrusting into his tail hole that indicated a desperate effort to reach orgasm. At the conclusion, David bust first and Ryan gulped down every drop. He wasn’t a fan of the taste, but swallowing something slightly offensive to please one of his men was a massive turn on. Pale white streaks of pre dribbled out of his black raccoon cock as it bounced around as he took his pounding.

While continuing to lovingly lap and suckle on the Doberman’s deflating dick, Ryan felt several violent slaps on his ass followed by the roughest fucking he had ever even seen in porn. Breath left his body and his arms buckled beneath him, leading to him essentially bowing before David. For about ten seconds, the brutal assault on his recently taken ass continued until an ear shattering howl exploded through the room while the raccoon’s insides were painted white and overflowed, somehow, around the thick meat. To further claim his prize, Arden quickly slipped out and watched his cum pour out of the gaping asshole before making sure to smear it in Ryan’s fur as a form of heavily scented marking.

“WhewwWWWW! I won’t be done with this toy for a good while! Ha!” Something was deeply disturbing in what Arden was saying it and *how* he was saying it. But it didn’t matter right now. In fact, just being considered an item, as property, seemed incredibly hot to Ryan. The wolf, done with his toy for the time being, wandered out while breathing heavily and sought out and obtained a beer from the fridge.

Following his partner's departure, David pet the young man’s head and then checked down underneath him. The devirgined raccoon had made a mess, certainly, but had not actually came yet. He sweetly laid Ryan, still dazed, on his back and crawled up. The twitchy black cock was enveloped in David’s, beyond masterful, canine muzzle while two the two middle fingers of his dominant chocolate colored hand slipped inside the hole. Skillful digits located and massaged the prostate from within while the sweet hearted dog utilized his lack of gag reflex to fuck his own throat and swallow around Ryan’s cock, to squeals and whimpers of delight as a result of such spectacular stimulation.

Surprisingly, actual words were expelled when Ryan’s hot, creamy load was treated to David’s muzzle, “Oh FUCK! David! Mmmhhh!!!!”

Such was the explosive nature of this chemically enhanced climax that Ryan was blasted into a black void filled with nothing but inconceivable euphoria. Upon returning to true consciousness, he came face to face with David and in an expression of love the canine’s face was grabbed and their lips met with passion that pleasantly surprised the Doberman.

David broke their kiss eventually and asked while caringly stroking the younger man’s face, “Heh! So… I’m guessing we helped out alright..?”

Though deeply grateful for everything that had happened and, almost especially, this tender moment, the reminder of the day’s prior events stung. Not wanting David to feel bad, the salty liquid in his eyes was kept at bay by shutting them behind their lids and squeezing tight while suppressing the shaky emotional tone. A sexy yet affectionate tone was overlaid instead, “Oh, my god. That was…. Thank you. I can’t wait to repay the favor! Hehe. Sex has never felt so… I have no words for it.. Just, thanks for being here for me and… just all of it… You two are seriously amazing.”

In the mean time, Arden had returned and was drinking lightly at the alcoholic drink as he leaned against the wall, observing the two interacting. At the conclusion of his new pet's share, he gruffly summarized /ordered, “Alright, sluts. Let’s burn rubber outta here. I can send a spun squad over here and get you all moved over by tomorrow. In the mean time, do what you gotta do to check out with the landlord and get ready because you’re not quite broken in yet and that needs to change. I’ll be in the truck.”

To address the major issue with his housing, Ryan could only bring himself to email the landlord a message informing them that a private emergency came up and that he would need to be vacating immediately. It worked out since he had prepaid for the month, which was now almost precisely up, and it was a month-to-month rental agreement. The previously upstanding, relatively speaking, raccoon had a fantastic rapport with the owner and this was beyond comprehension but ultimately accepted with a caring wish for the best.

With that task being checked off the list, Ryan, who had found himself cradled in David’s lap, sighed and began weeping again. Despite all of the efforts put forth by the Doberman, who desperately wished to help but had no clue in the slightest of how to do that, the grief stricken raccoon could not be consoled. A sensation of being an inconvenience and a downer nagged and screamed at Ryan in his own mental voice and the desire to not be that way anymore caused him to make a request through a shivering chest that shook his voice, “David…. Can I get some more H..? I’ll buy you more, I just… I want to stop being such a mess like this and being a burden… I… I... I just wanna relax until we can go again…”

Tension rose up in David’s gut at the request. As much of an addict as he was, he somehow managed to only take a few hits of the foil each day. It helped with an underlying chronic pain he had had his entire life and heroin was actually able to be used like a medicine. The countless people he had seen torn apart by the drug and turned into shells of themselves, sick, feeble, pathetic, had instilled a fear of seeing it happen to another person. Particularly this young man that had cultivated a fondness in his heart. Against his better judgment, he decided to partake in an especially heavy smoke session with Ryan that left them both rather fucked up and *just* able to manage to get to the unassuming grey truck and ride to their, newly all three of theirs, home.

As soon as the three, who at this point were now essentially all romantic and sexual partners, got home, Arden insisted upon shooting up Ryan with more crystal. Three days, including the original difficult day, were spent slamming him full of speed and semen. He was allowed to crash for a day and then begin taking care of himself a little bit. And so it began.

The next two and a half years were a decline, first slowly, then rapidly deteriorating. Initially, Ryan scoured the dark net and gathered sources for high quality drugs for fantastic prices that he could sell. This was how he contributed to the household, partly with drugs and partly with cash. He supported his habits as well as those of his partners. Over time, though, Arden’s long worn mask started to drop. Compassion and warmth were not his strong suit. Control, power, and even sadism were at the true core of what the shady wolf was comprised of. David had seen it too, to some degree, but the loving nature that Ryan was so fond of had blinded him to what it truly was.

On the downswing, Arden seized control of the drug business. Just “to make it easier on Ryan", or so he said. In reality, the move resulted in being able to own Ryan and David through their addictions. Then, more men came into the picture. Diversifying to prostitution was another means to satisfy his sick lust for power and control over others. It wasn’t even for money! Drug sales and his, somehow, steadily maintained employment provided a magnificent income on their own. Originally, his two “beloved" partners were immune to this aspect of business but, eventually, the young raccoon man was forced into working to supplement his ability to get high. Rations of the drugs he needed every day were dropped in half and required Ryan to sleep with “Johns" in order to make up the rest. Often times, these men were more than willing to help out a desperate and, fortunately, attractive whore in need of a fix, in addition to what he was given in money of which he could keep little.

Due to David’s long standing relationship with Arden, he actually had almost absolute immunity to the life of his more recent lover. In fact, he usually worked in secret to score a little extra that could be shared with Ryan in beautiful, and much needed, displays of unity on the rare occasions that their master would vacate the premises. Still, it only got worse. Escape seemed like the most appealing idea in the world. They were, in reality, free to leave whenever they wished. But to where? There was nowhere.

Only a couple of attempts were made to leave. The worst was the following:

After a harsh few days awake “partying", though partying was a long dead concept, Ryan couldn’t take it. Rousing from a small crash out, only about an insignificant three hours, he found himself curled up away from Arden in bed. Sickness twisted the insides of the raccoon as he attempted to bandit sneak into the night. But not without dope. Slow, methodical movements and a death watch on the seemingly dead to the world grey wolf/monster led to the nightstand. Creeping in a crouched stance, Ryan kept his eyes glued on the eyes of the evil being while grimacing at the sound the drawer made while sliding out. Fear made for a pounding heartbeat and a panting that required conscious regulation as he grasped the half ounce of shards, two grams of black, hard heroin, and also two grams of angel dust, yet another one of his addictions.

Feelings of elation as the doorknob was captured were dashed to absolute shreds as the darkness spoke behind him. “Tsk, tsk. And I treat you so good. This is how you repay me? Back here, please.”

Ryan wanted to cry, to sprint away and vanish into the night, but he just couldn’t… Drawn in by the fear of what might otherwise occur, he crawled over on his hands and knees with head bowed in shame and terror. The packages were held up without a look upward while awaiting some sort of punishment. Might it possibly be, “get the fuck out”? Would that be good..? Or bad..? Bahh, he couldn’t be that lucky. After the drugs were snatched away, a slight glance up put on display an amused looking wolf with a massive “morning wood" erection throbbing away.

“Don’t worry. I’ll help you out.” A terrifying smirk and sadistic tone lit up the voice of his owner. A period of confusion occurred until he was gripped by the ears and pulled muzzle first to the dick. He actually used to love this monstrosity, but those days were long gone. Just a chore these days. Maw opened wide out of deep training and programming and the meat was slobbered all over and teased and stimulated in all the ways that made the wolf bust the quickest. This time, however, plans were different. Ryan began being fully throat fucked, which he truly had avoided doing and therefore had no practice, roughly. Gags and retches echoed in the room for the used up creature to hear and essentially experience twice over. In a stroke of luck, Arden quickly busted his load down his pets throat as deep as possible and retreated just in time to splatter Ryan’s left eye with semen while the prostituted addict proceeded to vomit on the floor.

Arden grunted and laughed a malicious laugh at the scene, “Hahah! Don’t worry, I’ll have someone else clean that up. You’re welcome!”

A snarl came angrily burning outward, “Fuck. You.”

“Pardon? Is that what we say when someone lets us off the hook for trying to steal dope from a friend..?” It was visible how much the dark creature was reveling in the power play. “Now… what do we say?”

Ryan gulped, swallowing what little shred of dignity, self esteem, or pride he had desperately clung to over his time living there, “I… misspoke.. I meant to say I wanted to fuck you.. I should have said thank you first. Thank you, Arden. For allowing me to please you in return for such kindness.” Saying these words caused him to feel sick all over again and he got the impression that he actually may have vomited had he not just purged moments before.

Arden put on a sickening display of artificial beaming happiness, “Oh, dear! I guess I misheard. That’s my bad, I’m still sleepy. You’re quite welcome, my love. We can fuck in a bit. Here!” He rummaged through the various bags and gave an amount of each chemical along with a syringe. “Now go get ready.”

Around the two year mark:

With a bit of an empire that had come to dominate the city, in more ways than one, other organizations infrequently met up at the pad to conduct business. At this point, Arden shared with his two boyfriends, “Alright, we’ve some guests coming. They’re scoring some blow. Idiots. They’re likely to have some snow bunnies (attractive women kept around and fed cocaine for sex) and I’m feeling generous. Whatever (which is how he referred to most people these days) they bring, just tell me which one, or ones, you want and I’ll organize a little play time for you. I need to go tend to some things, so be good!” The criminal wolf swung around and entered his room meant for business matters.

Wearily, Ryan hugged onto David with all of his strength and murmured, “I’m… I’m so sick of this… it’s so dark, I’m so scared… I.. need to leave soon. Maybe not soon soon, but I can’t live another year like this…. Can you..? I remember the way we were before.. not super clearly, but I remember.. we deserve better. I love you, David. I hate that you’re here, with *him*, with *all* of this… just…. Think it over. I’ll figure something out. Um…. Yeah, that’s all…”

The withered Doberman returned the hug with a weakness that reflected his sucked up figure, “I love you too, Ryan… I feel the same.. but I’ll think about it.. thank you for including me…” and that was all they shared with one another. They rarely spoke anymore. They simply dragged along through this hellscape.

At the agreed upon time, the other organization players arrived with three men in charge and four women in tow as their bunnies/whores. Ryan surveyed the scene and froze in place wide eyed and visibly disturbed. While the initial greetings were underway, the hollowed out raccoon steadied himself to put on the best illusion of his typical flat and submissive behavior. The bunnies, which interestingly three were actually snow rabbits, kept their eyes glued either on the floor or to their keepers.

To avoid interrupting Arden’s business, Ryan kissed David on the cheek, exited to his room in the old spare bedroom, and sent a quick text to the wolf: “Sorry to bother you, I didn’t want to interrupt though. Could I please have the stoat..? I’ll give you everything you want later <3 thanks babe" SICKENING. FUCKING GROSS! This was how he had to act in order to get an outcome he desired to happen. It always had to play out in Arden’s favor, usually in some nasty and unpleasant sexual interaction.

A minute later came the reply, “On her way! I’ll figure out something fun for tonight, hot stuff ;)”

Heart pounding as he waited impatiently, it seemed to take an eternity as thoughts fought each other in an effort to create some sort of coherent language for interaction. The noise of the door opening and then closing and locking made his stomach queasy with nerves but he turned around and froze.

“Vivian….”

The stoat racked her mind for how this strange, emaciated being could possibly know her. Then a jolt rattled her and was accompanied by a flood of pleasant memories that brought tears to her eyes.

“RYAN!!” The man made a frantic gesture to lower the volume but rushed over and embraced her with every ounce of passion still residing in his small body. “Oh my god…. Ryan, you…. Fuck…. *WE*…. “

Ryan held on tight and pet her back with the utmost affection and whispered through his crying voice, “Yeah…. Fuck… what happened to us…? To *you*?! Well…. Probably same as me, I suppose…”

In a conversation of mutual discovery, Ryan shamefully shared the tale of his swift downfall. Though disclosing the fact that crystal came into play during the time that they were spending time with one another, he neglected to share the fact that he had been sleeping with other people. The words caught in his throat as the idea of sharing such information was too much to force out. From there, it was a pretty quick path.

It actually was a similar story with Vivian, albeit with a bit of a delay. After their initial night together, cocaine did not become present until several months after she left town. The stoat's ailing mother passed away suddenly and she fled to the bars of the town of 8,000 to escape her feelings. In the matter off about a week, cocaine crossed her path and whipped her away like a tornado into her own fall to addiction. Paralleling her long lost friend's tale, it took little time to be swept up with some very “generous" people who took her in and kept her loaded. That old mindset that characterized Vivian’s first coke experience came thundering back with a vengeance and it was all booze, snow, and rough sex for free. Until it dropped off and here she was.

Fucked up.

Strung out.

Used up.

Broken.

And somehow with Ryan, of all people.

After having their bittersweet reunion, Ryan hugged Vivian once more and through tears guiltily requested, “It’s been so good to see you… I mean, not exactly the circumstances.. I’m so sorry. But umm… *ahem* look…. If I don’t hook up with you, I could get in trouble… If you don’t want to, I’ll deal with it. I can’t do something like that to you. But I could try to be quick… ugh…”

Vivian completely understood, she could see it in the man’s earnest facial expression. “It’s been good to see you too. And I get it. I’m out of coke right now, until the deal goes through. Do you have any you could share..?” The weary depression of one coming down expressed itself in the woman’s once vibrant voice.

Nodding while gazing down at the floor, Ryan agreed, “Sure.. I don’t have any blow though. Never really touch it, heh. I just have dope and other stuff.”

Increasingly tense with craving, Vivian hurriedly demanded, “That’s fine, just please! I just want to feel well again…”

The shard bunny, Ryan, sighed in resignation as he no longer had the willpower to fight against giving someone methamphetamine for their first time. “Could you like… turn around please..?”

Having noticed the gear retrieved from the pocket of the poorly fitting shorts that once were of accurate size, Vivian curiously inquired, “Hun… I’ve seen people shoot up. I’m not gonna think less of you.”

Ryan’s eyes burned with a harsher wave of tears than even before. Being seen shooting up was, for sure, something he was ashamed and embarrassed of but that was less than what his real worry was. Being polysubstance addicted, it was the nature of creating such a powerfully mixed concoction that he feared being seen using. To the mask faced man’s overflowing relief, the woman he previously had hopes of building a life with turned away as desired. As was typical, the selfish nature of the level of addiction he lived in influenced his thinking and behavior into always serving himself first. Dumped into the spoon used as a cooker, was a small chunk of heroin. A little pool of water was poured from a bottle of distilled water and the silverware was heated from beneath over a nearby candle.

Step two of his ritual: with the murky brown-black looking swamp completely dissolved and mixed, two additions were required. Firstly, a large shard of meth was added and, due to its hydrophilic nature, dissolved extremely quick. To top it all off was a medium sized key bump of phencyclidine.

PCP.

Angel dust.

Just another one of the chemicals he had become dependent upon. With everything added and ready, the cotton ball was dropped in, instantly changing colors into yellow, brown, and blackish hues which seemed appropriate as they seemed to be poisonous colors. Poisonous colors for poisonous chemicals, eh? In the end, a nearly full syringe barrel was filled with the dark toxic water solution. A quick tie-off with a belt caused his remaining usable veins to present themselves. The current favorite was picked and punctured before having the chemical load transferred into the bloodstream.

Multiple sensations that he once loved exploded through Ryan and the intense need for sex rushed around his mind. But with himself taken care of, his beloved Vivian needed to get her dose. Using a clean spoon to drop some meth in and melt into solution using only water and stirring, the almost perfectly clear liquid was sucked up and the syringe was held carefully in wait. Turning back around, Ryan discovered his stoat spreading the fur on the inside of her arm apart in hopes that a viable access route could be seen.

Filled with apprehension, Ryan quietly exclaimed, “YOU HAVEN’T...?!”

Completely dismissing the fearful raccoon’s worried, Vivian irritably commanded, “Just shut up and do it! I really do not care and could use a better fuck with you than with those piece of shit bastards. Just… give me our first night again… please…”

The fact that Ryan could one hundred percent relate to what was being shared with him influenced his next course of action. Standing up and, experienced a dizzying head rush among other feelings, guiding Vivian into sitting down next to the spot that he returned to on his bed, the dark cream colored arm was captured. His dearly missed partner coordinated perfectly in exposing a location great for tapping into the mainline. No more words were available at the moment, for sorrow and grief had strangled them from Ryan’s voice. Slipping in effortlessly with the aid of a good vantage point and contributing factor of a brand new needle, Ryan cautioned, “Tell me when to stop. I don’t know how much to give you, especially crossing over from coke to crystal. Okay..? Help me out.”

Vivian nodded softly, loving the genuine care in her sweetheart’s attention. Watching the plunger depressing, a zap of flushed heat electrified her skin in an increasing rush. About halfway through, she tapped Ryan as her words, as well as her mouth, had gone dry. She was high. Like, HIGH high. Spun the fuck out. Maybe a bit too stimulated. “I uh I uh… too much.. Can you help me back down…?”

Fuck. The only thing available at his disposal was heroin. God damnit!!! Well… Guess he’ll just continue on this train of fuck-ups. Moving with haste, he cooked up a small shot of tar and administered it in an effort to minimize the torture that was an anxious overtweak. Hearing a moan of pleasure in response to the new drug chilled Ryan’s blood.

“Oh my…. Ryan. Fuck me!”

To not play with Vivian when he had specifically requested her, supposedly for sex, would have been viewed as an insulting waste of Arden’s “generosity" of this “gift”. Though the snow bunny has expressed desire to recreate their first night together, it was nowhere near that. It was apparent that both participants had lost all passion and connection through the action and merely went through the, mostly, cold and mechanical motions. Some degree of fond reminiscence *did* light a loving fire between the two, but it was dim and rushed as the lovers attempted to squeeze every good feeling out of the limited time allotted for them.

After both parties had achieved a sloppy orgasm, they shared a tender moment that actually felt sorta like their first night/morning together. Snuggling up into a brief respite from their typically hostile worlds, they kissed and touched each other in ways that they usually, except Ryan had with David sometimes but didn’t feel quite the same, weren’t fortunate enough to receive. Each one of the room’s inhabitants got dressed, heartbreakingly drinking in the way the other had been shrunk down to the status of too skinny.

While hugging his favorite person goodbye in preparation for her departure, Ryan spoke in a hushed tone, “I’m so sorry for everything… I hope to see you again. I plan on escaping sometime, just… I don’t know when… I’ll try and get a hold of you when I can…”

Vivian was unable to speak and only hugged while nodding her acknowledgement. This was when she was called for and obediently returned to the men with her head down.

Two and a half years into his residence and what had become less of a home and much more of a hellhole of a prison. The weeks prior had been peppered with tiny, hushed discussions with his only friend, David, about terminating their occupancy. At this time, 2:42 a.m., Ryan found himself with his Doberman lover in Arden’s bed while the wolf had hopped out to grab a drink and use the restroom.

“David… I’m done. I can’t be here anymore. I’m leaving. Not now, but the next time we’re alone. I just wanted to let you know. If you want to come with, I’d love to bring you. Figure out something. I hate what I’ve seen you go through from when I met you.. Maybe get you to better people, family maybe? I dunno. It’s over for me though, I’ll take my chances out there. It’s up to you.” At this point, he displayed his care and love for the older man by giving nuzzles and light pecks on his face.

A long held off resignation was expressed in a deep sigh, “Oh… I suppose you’re right, babe. Oh god… what a mess we’re in.. we’ve *been* in..” briefly considering the possibilities for what may come of leaving, he stated, “Alright. Let’s go. I can be ready in about five minutes once we have a window..”

Joy mixed with the terror Ryan felt as he would get to see David, who deserved so much better than Arden, be free and possibly move on to something better. It also made it exponentially more comforting to have a companion for the unknown road up ahead. Proactively, the young man had managed to squirrel away about $6,500 by performing extra services for some of his clients while Arden was away. Namely, starring in pornographic films in which he truly didn’t even have to consciously participate in. The videos he performed in pandered to the audience that enjoyed unconscious group sex. The young junkie’s entire job was to shoot up heroin until he was completely nodded out and dead to the world and then let everything else in the script occur to him. With any luck, neither he nor anyone else he knew would ever see these disgusting videos. But for now, they had served their purpose.

The two bided their time.

Waiting.

Watching.

Calculating.

Plotting.

Until…

The day came.

A day prior, a large shipment of drugs arrived. Arden had increased the scale of business tremendously. What originally started as a few eight balls of meth a week turned to several ounces, and eventually into pounds and kilos. Not to mention the other goodies. The way this was heading was full bore toward an inevitable raid and prison time. Prime time to bail out of a soon to be sunk ship. Their, at this point, captor journeyed put on some sort of mission. Didn’t matter which kind, it was an opportunity.

Ryan had his sole companion pack clothing, toiletries, I.D.s and important documents, and other essential and desired items, while the bandit took on an actual thief's job. Knowing exactly where all the illicit substances were kept, inside a storage closet with several locks of various types securing it, and with returning being no longer an option he was free to use force. And DAMN did it feel good. A crowbar made short work of the locks and powerful, rage fueled, kicks busted the wooden door straight off its hinges. Rushing from the sensation of finally setting himself free from the soul eroding reins that had held him for too long, Ryan struggled to remain on task. His immediate instinct was to lean back against the wall and breathe in the feeling which, at this point, felt better than sex combined with the cigarette afterward.

Remembering the danger of not knowing when Arden could be back, his currently blue eyes widened at the sight of the massive quantity of drugs. They didn’t need it all. In fact, it would be better if some were left as… evidence for a potential trial. Yes, definitely that. Still, the temptation to load up was great and fully surrendered to. To stock up for whatever may come next, Ryan shoved two kilos of shards, a kilo of black tar heroin, an ounce of PCP, and 200 high quality MDMA pills pressed with the image of a cock, into his backpack. Arden had gone high up in the business, and was about to hopefully crash the entire way back down with a splat.

Doing his best not to get swept away in the excitement, David was located and they fled. Looking sketchy as they constantly glanced over their shoulders and all around, they eventually made it to a nearby restaurant where they could lie low in a booth away from the windows and call for a cab. Little was said as it seemed neither wished to jinx their escape by saying anything at all. Ten minutes passed as David and Ryan sipped some tea they purchased in order to be able to hang out under the protection of the eatery. Once the cab arrived, a motel on the other side of the city, FAR away from Arden’s place, was selected as their new home for the time being.

Ryan paid cash for a month’s stay at the motel under a fake name, which this establishment had no qualms over. Having been given their two keys, the couple walked their way to their second story room overlooking the gated pool area. Once inside, bags were dropped carelessly to the floor and a hug of triumph was shared in addition to a good, long cry.

Ryan, astonishment not hidden from his voice in the slightest, breathlessly declared, “We fucking did it…”

David buried his face into his raccoon’s chest and echoed a muffled, “We did it, babe…”

Ryan, still fueled in part by anger that was now fading into relief and tenderness, kissed the top of David’s head and laughed, “I’m sorry, but we need to fuckin celebrate this! Okay?? Heh heh!” Then he put everything on pause and called in an urgent tip to the police and DEA about the situation at their previous home.

Ryan, feeling lighter than air, gave David the lead, “What are we going to do, hun? I want to make you the happiest guy ever tonight.”

To be continued..