FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Tehma stepped out of the flotation tank testing room, eyes narrowed in what appeared to be irritation. He brightened when he saw me. “Ah, young fox!”

I tried not to shrink at the very deep voice. Withholding a sigh, I said, “What can I do to make sure I survive the next test? Why did others die?”

He studied me with a strange expression. “Hmmm, we last lost a Listener. Callie, her name was. She was a cheerful mink, but panicked in the middle of a test. There was a surge of the Event, and she did indeed perish.”

I winced at the off-handed way he’d put a fur’s death. “You knew her?” I asked.

“Oh yes, we were close and talked often. Like you, she was quite sensitive. In a different way than you, of course. She felt the Event’s frequency through her bones, most prominently in her forearms. It was a very strange and unique perception.”

I held back a frown at his words. Didn’t he care that she’d died?

I cleared my throat. “I was worried.” Before Tehma could gather a response, I hurried to say, “I’m worried about surviving. What can I do?”

“Well, not much you can actively do, I’m afraid,” he admitted. “Just stay calm, and do your job.”

“My job….”

“Your job in this is to be the conduit, the translating medium for the frequencies we direct at the tear in space-time. It’s a bit complicated, but we each have our job to do during this crisis.”

“My job…” I muttered again, feeling tension rise.

“Yes. My fellow fins, like many feather and fur species, are struggling to survive. Fins may be on the brink of total extinction,” he rumbled. “We cannot have more delays. You must do your part, as I must do mine. Together, we can end this.”

I stared at him in some disbelief.

Tehma brightened again. “Yes, young fox. There are challenges, but you are a key piece in this process, as am I and so many others. It is our obligation to do what we must, regardless of sacrifices.”

I blinked. What?

He showed many teeth in a strange, wide grin. “Yes. Be pleased you are a part of a momentous occasion. History will be written and continued because of what occurs here.”

He placed a webbed hand on my shoulder, and I flinched at its weight and the lingering soreness of the joint.

“Now I must be off. Keep that muzzle up. I can see you’re excited for the future, as am I. After tomorrow… we’ll make it end tomorrow. We think we have it figured out.”

It felt I might be crushed under the weight of his words. Tomorrow. There would be a tomorrow, and days after. But tomorrow would be the day, the day everything might change. And what if it didn’t?

I blinked, blinked again. Tehma grinned and excused himself to walk past me. Past the door behind him, they were pulling Pekkins out of the tank. The porcupine looked unconscious, and the techs were complaining about his quills slowing their treating him.

That could be me tomorrow. I might have to be pulled from the water.

I slumped, shrinking into myself. It had to be done, I told myself over and over. If it wasn’t done-

“Tyler! There you are!” came a loud call from down the hall.

Burt clomped up, Shadow following, not meeting my searching eyes. Burt gathered me in a great, unexpected hug.

“I didn’t know you were still struggling so much! Forgive your papa Burt for not realizing!”

My eyes went wide, startled even more by the single tear Burt loosed down his wide snout. The bull released my tense body from his fierce hug. He held me at arm’s length, studying me.

“Tyler. You know you can always talk to me?” He frowned when I didn’t respond. He tilted his head in some concern. “I’m your Papa Burt…?”

I couldn’t help the growing smile on my muzzle. With a quick nod, I said, “Always.”

“Good,” the black bull huffed, stepping back. “Now we have that settled, tell me what’s going on with you and Shadow. He comes to me bawling, like I’d never seen before, and now he won’t tell me why.”

I felt the weight on my shoulders, the weight of the world, the expectations. “I-” my voice cut in a half-sob as I was seized in wolfy arms. Those arms wouldn’t let me go.

Shadow’s arms gripped me close, his big head tucking over my shoulder. The breath from his great sigh fluffed over my t-shirt.

Burt cleared his throat. “Well, let’s all go somewhere quiet and figure this out.”

I nodded into Shadow’s shoulder, feeling his mirrored response. He clung to me, seeming unable to speak as we made our way on the elevator and down the residence hallway.

Burt’s room was just as small, but with Michelle and Brynn already in there playing with the calf, there was no room for three more. Burt leaned in through the doorway to give his wife a greeting kiss.

“Afternoon, dearest,” Burt said. “I’ll be back. Need a quiet talk with the pups.”

“Everything okay?” asked Michelle. She set little Margaret on the narrow, gray bed and turned to us with a grin, soothing the calf’s cries with a gentle, hoofed hand.

Brynn grinned at the three of us, bouncing forward to touch Shadow’s shirt and gaze up at him.

“No, you’ll need to stay here, Brynn,” Burt said, picking up the little pika. “Yes, everything is alright. Need to go over some things with the pups. I’ll be back in a few.”

Michelle nodded, accepting the wriggling pika passed to her. “Settle down, Brynn. I know you want to help, but I need your help too.”

Brynn shook her little head, and once she was free, attached herself to Shadow again. The wolf looked down into her intense eyes and gently patted between her round ears,

“It’s okay, we’ll take her with us,” said Burt with a chuckle. “With little Brynn around, can’t get too serious, can we?”

Brynn nodded to Burt, then to me. I managed a nod, agreeing that her presence might be the difference in keeping things calm.

Michelle nodded again, scooting closer to the little calf. “Well, okay. Maybe with just me and Maggie, we’ll get a nap in.”

Burt grinned and guided the rest of us back down the hall. The room Shadow and I stayed in filled up to bursting with the four of us. Burt struggled a bit to close the door without catching it on his tail.

“Well, boys.” He cleared his throat when Brynn clicked her teeth and glared at him, “...and little lady.”

Brynn nodded and plopped her butt down next to Shadow on the bed. I leaned against the little dresser, finding it difficult to look up from the gray floor. Shadow gave me two glances before also staring at the floor.

Our knees almost touched, the space was so small, but I felt the implied distance. Shadow’s knee shifted, as if he too were aware of the same.

Burt sighed. “Who wants to start?” When neither myself or Shadow started any explanation, Burt sighed again, rubbing a horn. “Tyler. Can you tell me why Shadow is upset?”

I sighed and unclenched my paws, trying to find calmness. I didn’t want to be singled out, but we had to start somewhere. “I just-” I groaned, clenching my paws back into fists. Loosening my grit teeth, I shook my head. “Everyone wants me to do something. I can’t do it any more.”

“Do what?” asked Burt, looking confused. His lower lip waggled as he determined what to say. “If you need a break, it’s okay to take one.”

“I know… I guess,” I said, blowing out a sigh. “But if I take a break, more furs die. More everyone dies!”

“Tyler,” Burt said in a deep, soothing voice, “you have to help yourself before you can help anyone else. Cover your basic needs first, then branch out to help others.”

“I know… I guess,” I said. “Shadow wants us to leave. I want to leave, but how do I do that, knowing I could have helped each day this Curtain goes on!?”

“He’s not safe. We need to go,” insisted Shadow. “Today.”

I shook my head, starting to speak before Burt could jump in. “Even if I wanted to, I don’t think they’d let me go today. I don’t know. It’s like everything is too much.”

“What are they going to do, if you’re not willing?” Burt asked. “They can’t force you.”

“I don’t know,” I dropped my paws to the dresser rim. While Brynn stared at me, I formed my thoughts. “There are things they might try….”

“You don’t actually think they’d-”

“I don’t know what they’re willing to do, Burt. It’s the military, scientists - everyone is desperate. They might do… anything. I can’t risk it. I can’t risk all of you,” I finished, glancing around at the other occupants.

Shadow spoke up, “I won’t let them. We can leave. Tonight.”

My shoulders sagged. “I want to and don’t want to. I might have another seizure or even die if I help in their attempt tomorrow. But… I feel I won’t be able to sleep at night if I don’t try. At least this last time. Tehma’s pretty sure-”

“Tehma can go to the deepest Furry Hell!” spat Shadow. “Fin has a lot of nerve, acting friendly when he’s not.”

“Always seemed okay to me,” admitted Burt.

Shadow shook his head. “He hides too much; I can see it. I don’t know all of what he wants, what he intends.”

I breathed slowed breaths. In… out…. Calm words. “I have to… no I want to try one more time. Then I’ll stop. We’ll have to find a way to live with the Curtain if I can’t stop it.”

“No,” said Shadow, gritting his teeth and raising his muzzle.

“Shadow, I think he’s made his decision,” said Burt. “We need to be okay with it.”

“It’s not okay,” came the angry, wolfy words. “I can’t- I can’t lose you. You’re the only one. Never another. Never another,” he finished, struggling to keep the upset from his voice.

The wolf gripped his paws into fists. Brynn leaned into him, and he tensed before leaning back, his breaths shuddering. I wanted to be the one to comfort my Wulf, to be the one to nudge a muzzle into his shoulder. I looked away, saddened that it wasn’t me who was hugging him.

“I see,” said Burt, frowning. “You know how to fix all this, right?”

“Huh?” I blabbed before I thought.

Burt chuckled, turning to Brynn. “Why don’t you let Tyler sit there, and you take his spot, Brynn. Tyler could use a Shadow hug, too.”

Brynn looked ready to refuse, but saw my saddened, pleading look and nodded. She bounced up, practically shoving me off the narrow dresser toward Shadow.

I settled my rear to the bed, remembering that moment not so long ago I thought he’d disappeared from my life, the moment in my family’s house before I’d found Shadow in the garage. The moment from not so long ago echoed again, the sense of loss, of fear.

Sucking on my lips and feeling my upset rise, I bowed my head and leaned towards my mate. He hesitated, then flung himself at me, losing all control when he sobbed into my chest, black arms slung around me.

“I’m sorry,” I said through my own teary throat. “I have to- no I want to do this. Once more.”

“I don’t understand,” his muzzle sobbed into my throat. “Why are they so important. More than me?”

“Shadow. Shadow, look at me.” I nudged his chin up. Ignoring the others in the room, I pressed my lips gently to his in a chaste kiss. “Shadow. No one else is as important. I want this for you, but also for Brynn, for Burt and Michelle and Maggie.”

“What about you?” my Wulf asked.

“I guess I need to do this for me too,” I admitted. “I want us all to be able to go a day without watching the horizon at noon. I want to watch a sunset with my mate, not worry about birds going nuts to attack. I want it for you and me, but also so many others.”

“But you hate it,” Shadow whimpered, his muzzle once again nestled in my shoulder. “You hate it when someone sacrifices themselves.”

“I do,” I admitted. “But Shadow. Maybe that’s why I need to do it. I need to self-sacrifice, yet survive.”

“Then survive,” Shadow whined. “Come away with me, with everyone.”

“Then I’ll never know.” I sniffled, rubbing my paw against my nose. “No. I have to do this. I want to do this.” I tried to make my words convince my own heart. I felt so divided, but I knew what I had to do so I might let it all go. All the responsibility, all the worry. It could vanish, and I could be a quiet, normal little fox again, floating with the tide of events.

But I would struggle. Once more.

I nudged my nose into my mate’s cheekfur. “Please understand, Shadow. I’ll always question myself if I don’t. I’m tired of being the burden weighing everyone down.”

“You don’t-”

“I know it’s not how you see me, Shadow.” I bowed my head, feeling the sting of perceptions. Gritting my teeth, I said, “Others do. I want to be of use. I want to try.”

“I won’t let you sacrifice,” my Wulf growled through tears.

I turned my muzzle up to meet his golden eyes with my blue ones. “With any luck, and the effort of many behind me, it shouldn’t be a sacrifice.” I cleared my throat. “I’ll do my best to stay here with you. I want to be with you, Shadow,” I said, my throat tightening, trying to control my own upset.

“Don’t leave me. Don’t die, Tyler. I couldn’t stand it if you turned into one of those things.”

“I won’t die,” I insisted.

“You can’t know that!” Shadow looked away with a shudder. “I’d rather die than live without you.”

“But if I really don’t make it Shadow-”

“I don’t even want to consider it,” he snarled. With a shake of his head and a calming breath, he let his eyes meet mine. “Please? Please, Foxy.”

I took a slow breath. “All I can promise is that I’ll try.”

“And I’ll be there with you,” Burt said, reminding us of his large presence.

“We’ll make it through. We have to believe that,” I said, feeling a little more hope in my situation. “With you there… you might be the difference in my survival.”

“We survive together,” Shadow reminded me. “I don’t care how. Just make it through.”

I tried my best not to cry, but I could feel tears forming. Nodding, I flung myself into Shadow’s ready arms.

“There. You two just needed to talk it out,” said Burt, a grin noticeable in his voice.

My whole face was buried against Shadow’s warm chest. My paws clutched his t-shirt, fighting off tears. I would not cry, I would not set off a spectacle of weakness. I could be a strong fur. I was a strong fur. Strong as any, stronger than some. When I straightened up, Shadow tried to hide his teary eyes with a scratch to his muzzle scar.

He nodded at Burt, looking a bit sheepish. “Thanks, Burt.”

The big bull stood, still grinning. “You didn’t really need me at all. But I was glad to be here.”

“We’ll be alright,” I assured to all around me.

Brynn nodded and hopped down from the narrow dresser, laughing as she jumped onto Shadow.

“I guess not much bothers that one,” Burt said with a smile.

“We’ve all been through a lot,” I agreed.

“More than many other survivors, from what I’ve heard in the refugee camp.” Burt huffed, joining it with a shrug. “Most of their issues come from no power, water, and drama with each other. Not many have been close to a zombie.”

“Which they call Creepers…” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Zombies,” agreed Shadow.

Brynn bounced to the door, leading the way, and giving a plain suggestion we should all leave the cramped room. We three, older furs, were happy to leave the narrow room, speaking in low humor on the way to the common room for a cafeteria meal.

***

>>>>[[[[NOTE: DAY 29]]]]<<<<

I stirred awake from scattered sleep very late into the night, my thoughts unwilling to quiet their racing. I wished for the release of a deep sleep, the relief from reality it might bring, the respite from questions, pressures and problems. Yet my mind raced, towards no finish line, racing, racing, racing-

“Still awake?” asked the muzzle, nestled in my napefur.

A groan began my response. “Can’t sleep,” I complained.

Shadow shifted behind me, and I felt his half-hard length. He didn’t press it, but let me feel it. “Wanna play a bit?”

“I do, but I know I need to sleep.”

“A little play will help you sleep,” Shadow said, licking into my napefur. “I’ll be gentle?” he suggested with so much hope in his hushed voice.

A giggle I didn’t anticipate spilled through my lips. “Maybe,” I drawled. “I just- I can’t sleep. Too much on my mind.”

“Start spilling it, then,” came the quiet words between shiver-worthy licks. “What keeps my Foxy up at night?”

It was getting harder to concentrate, as well as another hardening thing. “So many thoughts….”

“First one that comes to mind,” Shadow suggested, nudging my hips with his, allowing me to feel him.

“Um… like the jar with the Curtain growths. You know the one my dad- um, I mean Mr. Evans and… whatshisname.”

Shadow snickered at my verbal struggles. “Who cares. It’s gone, and I don’t know how much they want to learn from it.”

I turned my muzzle to look up at him. “It doesn’t bother you that it came from you?”

“Not from me,” my Wulf huffed. “The Curtain energy-stuff made it.”

“It might have a bit of you in it? Does it worry you?”

“My shoulder feels like it’s healing fine. I haven’t thought about the, um, lump. Really.” It was clear his mind was somewhere else; his paw reached around my hip to cup me gently. “Shouldn’t bother you if it doesn’t even bother me.”

I snickered into my idle paws, biting back a faint moan matching it.

“What else?” he asked, this time nipping at my nape.

I tried to concentrate through my shivers, looking at the little dresser, where I’d placed my special items of past and future. The angel kitty lay atop the picture, smiling at me, while the zombie kitty grinned fiercely with a bit of evil humor.

“Wondering if I’ll ever get home again,” I mumbled.

Shadow stilled his movements. “Do you want to?”

“I don’t know.” My breath huffed in a sharp sigh. “It’s not home anymore, and I might get upset just going. I keep thinking of the letter I left for my dad. He never went to even check on us….”

“Jerk.”

I snickered at the words in my napefur. “Ass.”

“Yes, he is,” whispered wolfy breath.

I ran my paw down his arm, cupping his paw over me. I humped once into his paw, releasing a sweet, sweet shiver.

“Anything else?” Shadow asked.

“Yes, but-” my voice cut on a low moan when Shadow moved his paw lower to fondle my unfilled knot still inside my sheath.

“See. Those things aren’t important. Are they?” whispered wolfy words.

I tried for some noise, uncertain whether it came out affirmative or negative. It was an acknowledgment. Sensations rose faster than my thoughts could surpass.

“Uh-huh,” wolfy breath puffed into my nape fur. His hip bumped into my rear, nudging my tail to the side.

I knew where this was heading, thankful we’d bedded down without layers. Shadow raised himself past me to fumble urgently in his backpack. The tube from there was familiar in the near blackness. His movements were assured, confident, but I still startled when an eager finger probed my secretive entrance.

I wriggled my hips at the quickly gathering heat. “Shadow….” came my unintended, moaning words.

“Hmmm?” he seemed to question, though he knew what I wanted. Of course.

“Please,” I whimpered out. “Please, I need you.”

“Need me what?” he chuckled, penetrating the muscle layers with another slick finger.

It caused a slight sting, but it mixed in well with the eager heat I felt spreading to my toes in another sweet shiver. I flexed my body, trying to get him to move faster, but he lightened his touch.

I groaned, clutching the arm in front of me.

“Patience,” came the wolfy chuckle. “If only they could see you now, falling apart under my paws.”

“Who?” I gasped, unable to think of anyone past him.

“All those prude furs out there, who can’t enjoy you like I can.”

A bump of dark hips against me had me losing my mind. “Shadow~” I whined. “Stop teasing!”

“But it’s so fun,” he chuckled. His voice was affected by his own lust, and his hardness was ready and already slick, pressing up behind me.

He grabbed my hips and rolled me to my stomach, encouraging me to raise my rear off the thin mattress. I moved onto my paws and knees, feeling him cover my body with his. He pressed up against me, one paw reaching next to me to support himself. His other paw clutched at my middle, wolfy breath slipping into my ear.

“Tell me you want it.”

“Want…” I whined, finding words difficult.

What felt easy, was the insistent press of Shadow’s tip. It passed the barrier of muscle, and I gasped when wolfy heat slid into my depth with a firm thrust.

It burned, but I wanted him to move. He didn’t oblige me. Instead he licked his free fingers and slipped them underneath, coaxing my pink tip from its sheath.

I whimpered something but couldn’t understand what I’d said. Shadow understood and started to move in slow, firm humps. His hips pressed my rear, his chest flexing along the length of my back. He grunted into my ear, his paw becoming still on my sheath as he focused on snapping his hips into me, driving him deep in short, hard spurts.

“Sh- Sh- Shadow,” I managed, my muzzle sinking to the light pillow, rubbing against the material. I closed my eyes and let myself feel. His movements, his grunts, the burning length pleasing me from inside, his paw pleasing me from outside.

I straightened back to my elbows, and he gripped my shoulder to firm me. I shifted a bit backward, wanting to participate. My sheath shoved through his fingers on his next thrust, baring the hot length. It gave him more room for his next humping thrust, and the wolfy muzzle at my ear whimpered.

It felt so good, so… right. I felt more than a filling of him, felt a warming rightness to everything. Like everything in the universe aligned, just so.

His grip on my shoulder firmed, and he thrust even harder. I gasped and slipped off my own elbows, my rear still elevated but forming a lewd curve in my back. He shifted closer, more over me, his hot length bumped into something that felt amazing. I bit back a whimper from the surge of sensation.

I tried to say something, anything, but all coming out were moans and my own unintended grunts. Shadow raised on his paws and stretched toes, pounding into me. His huffs became louder, turning into moans. He panted in effort and arousal, his moans loud and plain for any to hear. A few irregular bumps, and he went hard in spastic thrusts.

With a sharp cry, his body snapped hard into mine, and I felt the quick filling of his knot, closing off the flood of his seed from exit. The force of it had shoved me forward, my knees slipping on the bed until I was flat. He leaned in close, teeth sinking deep into my exposed shoulder. His growl was interrupted by his body freezing again.

A second hard snap into me, and he lost control of his supporting arms. He slumped on me, his hips continuing an idle flex against my backside, milking himself of every essence while he growled and whimpered through his embedded teeth.

I panted, feeling the fulfilled rightness in the moment, even as my body cried for more. He was pressed up along my most sensitive spot, filling my awareness with multi-layered sensation. Knowing what was happening and what was coming inside me, almost had me finishing in my own pleasure.

I was unable to form words when he rolled us to the side and brought his paw against my sheath. He tried to say something, but was unwilling to remove his teeth from my shoulder to speak. It came out mumbled nothings, but his meaning was not lost.

His fingers gripped around my sheath base, the end hot, bare, and dripping, ready to come. A hard grip around my knot, and my own paws barely touched myself before my vision almost blackened.

Bright blackness sparkled my empty vision. My body felt numb and pure pleasure rocked through me, first rigidity, then uncontrolled twitches. Shadow was there, nursing me through, chuckling through his teeth at my panting whimpers and slight words.

The darkness surrounded us, deep underground. My eyes felt droopy, but I didn’t feel sleep coming. The peace I’d been chasing for weeks, or more, finally rested within me. While he continued to twitch a rhythm inside my depths, he withdrew his embedded teeth and licked the soreness. The satisfied wolfy hum matched the feelings inside my foxy being. Completeness, satisfaction, rightness.

I closed my eyes, ignoring the near-darkness for the lingering sparkles and swirls behind my eyelids. Nothing existed outside our little content realm of sensation. Wolfy arms wrapped me in comfort and safety. His slowed breath was interrupted by an occasional huff, his body languishing in contentment.

A wolfy chest pressed into my back, shifting my body with his breaths in even waves. Like waves of forward, backward, joining in a wholeness neither of us felt when apart.

Even after he slipped from my body with a faint shlurp, we lay there in the quiet dark, neither of us asleep. I nudged his hip with my open paw, and he respond with gentle fingers tracing around my belly, probably imagining how he’d filled me with rich cream.

No such moments last forever. The hallways grew from early-morning emptiness to the occasional passing of a bustling fur. Or fin. Or feather.

Time passed, Shadow and I clinging to the sense we might remain spooned for eternity. I might have dozed a bit, feeling safe. One set of steps and voices approached the door, and instead of passing, they paused outside the door.

I didn’t want to move. I needed the time to bond with my mate, I could feel it instinctively. But after a few low knocks and some impatient mutters outside, it was time to face the devastation of the world again.

I yelled a generic, “Out in a minute!”

The mutters outside the door turned into furs arguing. Something was wrong. Anything wrong was a new wrench thrown into the gears of trying-to-fix-everything. Shadow and I fumbled around to find our clothing items. I shook my head while pulling on my clothes.

This couldn’t be good. Not at all.

With the lights still out in the tiny room, we stumbled our way to the door, fixing our shorts and t-shirts. I opened the door, not sure what to expect. Kedders was there, arguing with Burt about…. What was going on?

“They might come down here!” said Kedders, raising his voice since we were up and out of the room.

“Keep it down. No reason to scare everyone on the floor!” snapped Burt. “And maybe they need to come in the upper floors. It’s safer, and there’s room for a lot of them. What harm would it do anyway?”

Kedders snapped his teeth. “You think they might eat all the food? Destroy all the equipment? Disrupt the experiment? Or I don’t know, kill the Listeners!?”

Burt huffed out a scoff. “Furs deserve a chance not to die in those forsaken camps. Yeah. I know not everyone makes it through the Curtain in that place. Too many areas to fumble with so many furs.”

“Not the military’s fault,” Kedders blasted back, no longer lowering his voice. “We’re all doing what we can-”

“What we can!? Are you listening to yourself? Use all resources available. Those furs out there will die with the Curtain.”

“They know what the Event is, and how to make a place safe. Enough will find safety.”

“Enough.” Burt’s breath scoffed his disbelief. “’Enough’ will find safety? Do you hear yourself speak? Do you realize how crazy you sound!?”

“We can’t be responsible for the world of furs. We must think of preserving-”

“Preserving what?” I asked, stomping into the hall. Paws at my hips, I glared at the big, grouchy fox. “Unbelievable. Ready to sacrifice furs so you can survive? How many would be lost if we don’t let them in?”

Kedders straightened his uniform. “Tyler. You are to go-”

“No. I want to hear this first,” I said. “If I’m to help, I need to know the stakes.”

“It has nothing to do with-” Kedders began.

“What’s going on and how many might we lose?” I demanded, literally stamping my footpaw, feeling a little immature to have done it too.

Kedders flinched while he fumbled with what I was sure would be a non-answer.

Burt said, “Furs from the camp have hijacked busses and made their way here, demanding to come in. Busses keep going back for more.”

I blinked. “How many are out there?”

“A good portion of the nearby camp,” said Cade, thumping up.

Burt and Cade sized each other, looking up and down, each with a frown.

“Dozens?” I asked.

“Hundreds overnight.” Kedders glared his amber eyed displeasure at the two bovids. “Civilians do not need to be bothered by these details at this time of-”

“Shut it,” huffed Cade. “Point is, hundreds will die at noon if we don’t let them in.”

Kedders had the decency to shift his footpaws and look away. “Correct. Just following orders-”

Burt shook his weighty head. “And I assume orders went out the windows at the camps. What happened to Major Jekkers?”

Kedders slipped by the two big furs to lead the way down the hall. “Last I’d heard they caught him sleeping, and he’s all tied up.”

That would be one angry mustelid. I hoped the little mouse secretary was okay through it all. She’d seemed harried enough already, enough to make someone lose all fur on their hide; it had almost happened to my survivalist uncle.

“That will be one furious fur,” agreed Burt as we all followed the grumpy fox.

Kedders sighed, leading us down the hall towards the common area. “Problem is, they’re trying to use him as leverage to get them all in here.”

“I suppose the secret of the Listeners getting passes is out?” Cade surmised.

Kedders profile stiffened even as he continued stalking ahead of us. “Secrets don’t hold,” he muttered. “Anyway, I don’t see them letting the masses in here.”

“What!?” I snapped, stopping in the middle of the walkway. “You’re all going to let them die out there, for what? You have the room! By all that’s furry, figure it out! You guys are supposed to have the resources around here.”

Shadow grabbed my paw and kissed the back of it firmly. He glared at the three, daring them to deny me.

Burt nodded. “I hate to say it, but I have to agree. Let them in for a few hours. What’s the issue? Isn’t it better than them dying when you could have done something?”

“Take it up with Lisa. She’s our only connection with the higher-ups who never show their muzzles,” Kedders shook his head.

“I think things would devolve around here, pups,” Cade said. “We need this installation. It’s the only chance we have against the Event.”

“It needs to be kept ‘pure’ I suppose,” I said, disdain dripping from my tongue.

“Of course,” Kedders said, not missing a beat. “Test results might even be thrown off by extra vibrations in here. We don’t know how long-”

“No!” I snapped. Gripping Shadow’s paw, I stomped us ahead and into the cafeteria to get food. “I’ll end this today. Let them in.”

I must. I must end it today. The milk and pancakes in front of me weren’t worth lives.

The entity in the Curtain, ‘George’ was in there. Maybe lonely, maybe hungry. It was definitely reaching out. What it wanted didn’t matter. We inhabitants of the planet were at our limits.

Something inside me protested. I knew loneliness. I knew the refusal of existence. I knew the rejection.

I’d had Eric, but I couldn’t have told him everything. He’d been a hyper and immature best friend. I’d always kept my loneliness a secret. I’d tried to not exist while living. I simply was, just existed. George in the Curtain must also-

“Done, Tyler?” came a wolfy voice.

“What?” I blinked up at him. Glancing down, I saw my half-eaten pancake and untouched milk. It was a waste, but I didn’t feel like eating more. I sighed and pushed the plate away.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” asked Shadow. “We can always insist on another day.”

“No,” I said, drawing a slowing breath. “Just lost in thought is all.”

That was all? I’d spaced out all of breakfast! Was I really okay for this? No. I was distracted.

I cleared my throat. “What’s next?”

Burt looked a little confused. “Again? Um, they want you right out of here to the Playroom. About an hour there, and they’ll call you to get you ready.”

Cade nodded. “They want to be sure to do it right, this time. Don’t think they even know what went wrong last time.”

With a huff, Cade stood.

“Cade?” I asked, following a sudden line of thought. “Why do you keep popping up and disappearing for a while? It’s like you’re a ninja or they let you go wherever, but I don’t know why….”

Cade’s face stilled, a smile still on his muzzle from before. He appeared to gather himself. “Taking a rain check on that one, Tyler. I’ll tell you another time.”

The non-answer confused me more. Just who was Cade? I shrugged it off for now. If Shadow trusted him, given the big grin he was giving the bison, I could give some allowance of trust too.

Cade threw me a slight grin over his shoulder. “I’ll drop in the Playroom later, see how things are.”

“Alright…” I said, pushing up to my footpaws. I didn’t wobble, but I didn’t like how it seemed my eyes weren’t tracking right when I moved my head. Maybe I was coming down with something, or maybe I was simply that stressed.

Shadow joined us at the paws and whispered into my ear, “Mate.”

He gave me a nudge in my ear with his cold nose. Pulling me into a standing hug, there in the cafeteria, he whispered, “We survive together, right?” At my nod he pulled back and looked me dead in the eyes. Blue met golden in connection and care. He pulled me close again, speaking carefully so others might not hear. “Any time, just let me know, and I’ll make sure we get out. Any word, okay?”

I wanted to cry. Right there in front of everyone, to let it all go and cry. I wanted to be a stronger fur, why was I also wanting to cry!?

I drew a shuddering breath, nodding into his shoulder. I managed not to cry, but there were budding tears I struggled to hold back when we parted each body’s warmth.

His were the only eyes I could see, blazing with life, blazing with… love.

Mate.

The whisper in my mind. Foxes didn’t form mateships like wolves. I might hope, but I wouldn’t feel… whatever. It was impossible.

Mate.

The word still whispered in my mind. It echoed while I watched the hint of his tight rear cheeks through his shorts and his bobbing tail as he walked ahead of me. He looked more confident than when I’d met him some weeks ago.

The Playroom was subdued. Daisy sat rubbing out her long, rabbit ears, grooming the fur to softness. Terri, the mostly blind cheetah, looked in our direction but didn’t say anything to interrupt her tapping out some rhythm on the tabletop. There was no sign of Pekkins.

“Where’s Pekkins?” I asked, feeling a sudden, sharp tension in my gut.

“Dunno,” said Daisy, attempting to look like she didn’t care, but her fluff-nub of a tail twitched erratically.

Terri tapped a single firm thud and stopped her rhythm. “I heard they took him to the infirmary. I don’t think he’s doing well.” She looked in the general direction of my face, but her eyes didn’t focus with mine. It was a little eerie.

“What did you hear?” I prodded, sitting at the next table, Shadow joining me, of course.

Terri cleared her throat. “What do you care. You don’t know us.”

“But I’m like you?”

Terri smacked her paws to the table surface. “No. You’re not one of us. We’ve been here weeks. You come stomping in here with your two black friends. We all left everyone we knew or cared about. You come in here with everyone you care about. How do you think we feel, knowing the ones we love are out there? In daily danger? That we’re supposed to fix somehow!?”

“I heard there are furs from the camp at the gates of this place,” Daisy said idly. “I think they all want in now.”

“What!?” cried out Terri. Her body shook with a tremor. “How many? Large predators?”

Burt huffed and settled in a corner. “I’d expect herbivores and predators would be coming in.”

“But how many? In here? No. I don’t think I can do that. Keep them out.”

“Uh, I’m a fox,” I said.

“Your diet is naturally like 25% veggies,” she huffed, twitching her weighted tail.

“Wolf,” said Shadow, as an aside, from next to me.

Terri tensed. “I didn’t know that. You didn’t tell me!” she accused the room.

“What does it matter?” I asked leaning back, trying not to clench my fists in my crossed arms.

“I won’t be around a wolf,” she hissed towards me. “You know….”

“Know what?” I led.

“They’re the worse of the large predators, you know. All primitive and hunting with their teeth and all. Savages.”

I wanted to snap back she was speciesist, but held back. Escalating the situation would not help anyone.

Burt cleared his throat from the other side of the room. “Young Miss. Please don’t judge before you know.”

“I know. Of course!” she hedged. “But… wolves are different. You’ve heard all the stories, right?”

I’d had enough. “Some, and I don’t want to hear any more. Thank you. Shadow and I will stand in the hall or something. We’ll not bother you with our presence.”

I stood with a jerk. Grabbing my Wulf’s paw, I hauled us outside the Playroom. The colorful room had lost it’s luster in the gray-gray base.

“This day can’t end fast enough,” I grumbled.

“And why are you out here?” Kedders asked, leaning against the wall, guarding just outside.

“It’s chaos in there. Don’t go in,” grunted Burt.

“They’re just mad ‘cause the porcupine isn’t doing well,” Kedders said, rolling his eyes and slouching deeper at his post outside the playroom.

I cleared my throat, bothered by his attitude. “How bad is he?”

“The porcupine?” Kedders scoffed, eyeing me up and down. “Look, I don’t care for you Listeners. Something’s different about you all, and I don’t like it.”

Bur huffed, stepping close to the large fox and straightening his back. “Watch your words. Tensions are strained as it is, fox.”

Kedders gave Burt a long, long look before replying. “You just be happy I’m not ditching my post like a lot of furs are right now.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, stepping closer to a growling Shadow.

“I mean, the base is under siege as we speak. It’s only a matter of time before the masses break in. That point comes, I’m not risking my tail for a bunch of Event-addled brats.”

My muzzle dropped open in my personal shock. I wasn’t sure which statement hit harder.

Burt grunted, eyes blazing. “’Guess we all do what we must. I expect you to do your job for as long as possible. Got it?”

“Is that a threat?” asked Kedders, straightening up from the wall.

“It doesn’t need to be,” said Burt.

Kedders stared at the black bull, their eyes vying for mastery. Kedders broke the gaze first with a nasty-sounding chuckle.

“Whatever Bovine,” he said with a predatory snap of his jaw.

Burt just about lost it. His hooved fingers were gripped hard into a joined blunt hoof, ready to pummel. He took a slow breath and forced some relaxation into his body. “Enough,” he said.

“Whatever,” Kedders growled right back.

They both backed down. When the silence lengthened, becoming awkward, I spoke up.

“What’s the situation above? Outside I mean?”

Kedders glared, his eyes sharp and judging. “All I know is they’re past the fence, probably past the main doors by now; those things seal at a snail pace. Some of the military furs from camp duty joined in against this place. It’s a matter of time before they’re all the way down here. Furry-ass mess.”

“So what now?” I asked.

“Ah. Tyler!” came the distant call.

The fox’s answer was interrupted by Moore, stalking in. He would have made more of a presence on approach, but his short legs gave him more of a waddling gait.

“Good. You’re all set to go,” the wombat said with a myopic glance and a toothy grin.

My heart dropped. A cold feeling of dismay and hot fear battled. It was time.

“You don’t have to do this,” Shadow said. “We can just go. But it’s your choice.”

My choice.

For once, I felt I could make the path I needed, perhaps the path I wanted. To end this.

“I’m ready.”