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It was another hot humid October day on campus and all the students had abandoned the great outdoors for the refuge of air conditioning. Josh had just come back from English 2201 and set his backpack down on his bed. “Ugh. Sweaty." He grimaced then removed his shirt, draped it over his desk chair, then moved the chair over closer to the vent so it would maybe dry out faster. His roommate, Ethan, was funny about not wanting to be shirtless in the dorm room except for bedtime, but he had classes all afternoon and wouldn't see him until dinner. So Josh might as well take advantage.

He sniffed under his arm. He probably could use a shower before dinner too. Probably after taking care of some of the coursework. And maybe spend a little bit studying for this Friday's physics exam.

He sat down at the edge of the chair, making sure to give his shirt plenty of room, and plucked the physics textbook from the shelf. As he pulled away, his hand bumped the dragon bookend he'd been given as a going-away present from his aunt. “Ack!" He let go of the book and steadied the dragon. Whew. It was wooden and looked durable, but why risk it? “Stay up there." He stroked the dragon's muzzle. “Good boy."

“Do all humans in this world refuse to wear clothes?" Came a voice behind him. “Or is that a personal quirk of yours?"

“The hell? Who said that?" Josh jumped up and spun around, arms out to block any swings. (As if he could pull his weight in a fight. He was a mixed martial arts dropout.)

“A disembodied voice. Your conscience. You could use one. Really, put your shirt back on. It's uncivilized." The voice seemed to come from his... bed? Josh threw his physics book toward where he thought the voice was. It encountered no resistance as it hit the wall with a crack and fell between bed and wall.

“Why does my conscience sound like a rat on helium?" Josh challenged. “Are you one of Ethan's friends? Did he hide a camera in here? The perv!"

“A rat on helium? That is... oddly specific. And weird. Even for me. Never mind, I don't want to know," the voice said. “But, if it will help you..." The air above his backpack shimmered, and with a “pop!" the air warped to reveal a rat a foot and a half tall, wearing nothing but a green vest and a thimble hat, and standing on its hind legs.

Josh shouted, tripped backward over the chair, and landed against the window frame, the chair on top of him somehow. “Ow."

“I thought having a physical form would help you, but I appear to have miscalculated." It leapt from the bed and landed beside Josh with a flourish.

“You're a talking rat."

The rat looked down at itself. “So I am! It was your idea. I've been stranger." It pulled at the vest it wore. “Although I'm not sure where this came from. Tsk." It clapped its... hands? paws?... and the vest transfigured into an emerald tunic that sparkled as it moved, with breeches to match. “Much better. I feel civilized again. Ugh, I must have grabbed wardrobe ideas from your subconscious somewhere." Its face wrinkled into a look of disgust.

Josh tried to extricate himself from his tangle with the chair. His head throbbed. He must have hit the windowsill pretty good. “A rat is talking to me. I really hit my head."

“Ah-ah! I was a rat before you hit your head against the wall." The rat grinned at him. “Try again!"

“It is hot and I am suffering from heatstroke and I am hallucinating."

The rat twitched its nose at him and blinked. “Now that's an idea. Sure, we'll go with that if it makes you feel better."

“So how do I make my hallucinations go away?" Josh moved to brush the hallucinatory rat away. Instead he made contact with flesh and in the process sent the rat flying backward about a yard and making the rat land unceremoniously on its rump. “Ohmygod you're real."

“Impertinent human! I'll turn you into a flea for that!" It stood up and brushed itself off. It sighed. “No, that's a little hasty. Tell you what. I'll just lay it straight. I am a genie, you get three wishes, yadda-yadda, you know the rules."

“A genie."

“You are not the brightest bulb in the box are you?"

“A sarcastic genie."

“Ah!" The rat grinned again. “You flatter me. I always love a dash of sarcasm. It makes my job so much more fun!"

It was obvious by now that the rat was really in front of him and also wasn't going away, so Josh decided he may as well humour himself. “Where did you come from?"

“That bookend you keep on the shelf. Where else? Now I know what you're thinking, I've been spying on you all this time. And the answer is, no! I have not. I couldn't see anything in there. It was very boring really. And cramped. Oh boy is it cramped, trying to squeeze yourself in the void between atoms. I don't recommend it. Don't wish to become a genie because I won't do it."

Josh had read enough stories with genies to know how encounters went. Genies, according to all the stories, were mischievous and, without exception, rules lawyers looking to twist a wish into a bad outcome for the victim. And so far, this genie was playing by the same rules. It didn't seem friendly. It didn't seem evil either. “How do I know you'll not turn any wishes back on me and make me regret them?"

The rat shrugged. “You don't! The more wiggle room you give me, the more likely I'll grant your wish in a way you... might not like, shall we say. So see! I am warning you upfront! So don't complain."

“I don't want any wishes at all, then. I'll just wish I never saw you."

“Good way to lose your eyesight, there," the rat said with an edge to its voice. “But I don't want to ruin your life or anything. Some genies will do that. A lot will! I've done it too when I'm asked for something stupid, like infinite wealth." With a snap of the rat's fingers, a pile of cash and gold coins crashed onto the floor and spilled under the beds. One coin rolled toward Josh. “Go on, pick it up."

Hesitantly, Josh did so. The weight gave away that it was in fact real gold. On the front was the visage of a young man with an arrogant smirk. On the other side was a seven-pointed star. Obviously it was not from around here. “What is this?"

“This is a man who wished to be made of money!"

Josh dropped the coin as if burned. “It... what?"

“He wished to be made of money. So I gave him what he asked for. He's been very helpful to me. Everyone loves him. Can't get enough of him."

“But... he..."

“Look do you care what cold hard cash thinks?" The rat looked pensive. “Does it think? Don't know, don't care. The point is, if I think your wish is stupid then I'll make you regret it. So don't make a stupid wish." The rat wrinkled its nose again and waved its paw in front of its face. The cash and coins vanished. “Actually I'm not giving you a choice for your first wish. You're going to wish to be cleaned up and to be wearing a shirt. I can't deal with this. Otherwise I'm turning you into a hyena and calling the zoo."

Now after seeing what used to be a man, he believed the rat was serious. “I don't want to be a hyena."

“Then get wishing."

“I... wish to be cleaned up, and I wish to be wearing a shirt. And I wish my head didn't hurt from hitting it."

“Done!" The rat clapped its paws. Josh felt himself lifted upward by some force, as if a cool wind spun around his body and suspended him in the air. The pain at the back of his head vanished, and the wind wrapped more tightly around him before turning itself into fabric. Before he knew it he was standing upright, his head didn't hurt anymore, and he was wearing an old band shirt he'd accidentally left at home and had been meaning to get. “There we are! Much better. And now you know I'm the real deal."

“And I have two wishes left."

“That's correct!"

“I feel like I should still have three. You made me use that one."

“Not my fault you weren't in good shape." The rat held up two digits. “You have two left. Make them count."

Josh sat on his bed and thought. “Could I... hmm. I don't want to get trapped so could I... see what a wish might do before I make it?"

“No?" The rat jumped back onto the bed. “Do you think I have all day?"

“Yeah, kind of."

“Well, I don't. I have places I want to be now that I'm finally out of that wood block."

Suddenly Josh had an idea. “When you threatened to turn me into a hyena..."

The rat's eyes went bright. “Yes? Don't tell me you wish to be a hyena?"

“Well... no. Um. But. I don't want money or fame or true love or anything like that so... I was thinking I could wish for something fun, play around a while, and wish to be brought back here when I was ready. I could do that, right?"

The rat's jaw went slack. “Er... well. Yes you could do that. If you can speak! For example you wish to be a jellyfish! Don't know why you'd do that. It's weird. But let's say you did. You wouldn't have a mouth! Or a brain. Who knows if you'd have the capacity anymore to wish to be turned back."

Josh's stomach went cold. So much for that idea. “I would have to be very specific."

“That's what I've been trying to drive home, yes." The rat twitched its tail and twirled. “So what'll it be? You've ruled out wealth and fame. But the possibilities remain endless."

He looked back over to the dragon bookend. He had another idea. This... could be fun. If he was careful. He had a magic being to do his will and he could craft something. “Where you come from... are there dragons?"

“Yes, why? Want to fight one?"

“I've always liked dragons. That's why my aunt got me that. With your help I wondered if I could... be one? For a bit."

“Remember what I said about the hazards of being an animal."

“Yeah, but dragons are different! I think. Well, can you tell me about them?"

“They're as big as a house, hoard things, frighten villagers and love to boast about their accomplishments to any knight who comes by."

“They can talk, then."

The rat rubbed its paws together and a hint of a smile appeared. “I think I know where you're going with this. If you want to wish for this excursion, I'd be happy to grant it. We can always come back here when you're ready."

“But if they're as big as a house, I might run into problems." Josh couldn't deny it though, he was getting butterflies in his stomach at the thought of this. He'd never be able to share this experience with anyone, but oh! It could be so much fun. And if the genie liked the idea, he was safe. Right?

“Bah!" The genie waved its paw. “This sounds fun. Let me worry about solving that problem. Go on then! Make the wish!"

Josh could barely contain his words. “I wish to be a dragon!"

“Done!" The rat spoke with a voice like thunder. “Hey did you like that?" It said with its normal squeaky voice. “I thought it sounded impressive."

The cool wind spiraled around Josh again, starting from underneath his shirt and making it balloon out. That made sense, he thought. Dragons probably didn't need to wear any shirts or even pants, but why was it spinning around him? He couldn't see through it very well and he wanted to know what the rat was doing. Probably it was some of his theatrics. Not that it mattered. He was going to be a dragon!

“Now you should be noticing some changes shortly," the rat said through the whirlwind. Its voice cracked and whipped through the wind, making its words hard to understand. “If you start to feel amorphous don't worry, it's a side effect of the transition!"

Why would I feel amorphous? Josh thought. He hoped there wouldn't be any pain involved. Going from human to dragon did mean a lot of his bones would be shuffled around and there was a tail and wings to consider.

His clothes continued to spin around his body. They had lengthened and now formed a cylinder from above his head to the ground. Almost like a dressing room, he thought. The genie definitely had opinions about modesty.

The physical change hit at the same moment he felt himself lifted off the ground. He swung his hands to balance himself, and he saw that his hands had become a bit more club-like, and almost translucent. They'd also begun to draw into him some. He looked down at his legs which were undergoing the same metamorphosis. Between them, something which had once been there was now indistinct, but instead there was growing a new appendage, with the same translucent blob-like appearance as his changing limbs.

He continued to lift off the floor. And the cylinder grew even higher above him, but it... No. It wasn't growing. He was shrinking! And the magic wasn't done with him yet.

“Now I'm not sure if you can still hear me or if you don't have ears right now, but I want you to trust me that it's all part of the plan! I have to make you fit."

Josh's nose painlessly pushed out from his head, but he couldn't watch because at the same time his eyes shifted location to be nearer the sides of his head. He craned his neck upward from his newly-enforced vantage point (something he'd definitely have to get used to) and saw the cylinder seal itself into a dome above his head. Below his tail, the bottom half of the cylinder did the same. Nevertheless, there was a warm glow inside, letting him see some of his now-amorphous body. His legs and arms had drawn up closer to his trunk, and he looked like a chunky snake with a head attached to a lumpy tail.

He did not hear the rat speaking to him anymore, and he began to wonder if he would even be able to. His organs were getting too jumbled up.

Maybe this had been a mistake. His heart pounded in his ears before it just... stopped.

Before he could consider his decision anymore, his vision glazed over with a white film, before turning black, and seconds later not being black but just... nothing. All he still sensed was a now-warm magical wind encircling him, compressing him down even more.

He felt warm... and suspended and... indistinct. His sensations were blurred to a fuzzy comfortable numbness. Breathing had left him at the same time as the heartbeat, and all he experienced was the happiness of being.

This feels so nice, Josh thought to himself. More theatrical than I'd like. I'm sure the rat will stop this soon. I wonder what it'll be like. It feels... so nice... though. So... warm... I can... I... feel... I...

Josh's thoughts faded into blissful emptiness as the warm magic left him.

~~~~

The rat hefted the dragon egg on its shoulders. It was nearly as tall as the rat was, and he buckled under the weight. “Oof, you're still heavy! Maybe I should have made you a hen egg. But that wasn't in your wish."

The rat peered into the egg with its magic, to see if the magic had done its work and if it was safe to start the next stage of the journey. Almost the entirety of the human had been turned into yolk for the dragon inside to draw nutrients from. “I hope I didn't go too far... Ah! There you are." Deep within, a speck amidst the much larger yolk, was a very immature dragon. “Now then. I suppose I'll drop you off at a nice nest somewhere, and check back in with you in a couple centuries when you hatch. I hope you enjoy it!"

With a snap of its paws, the egg and the rat vanished.