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>APPEND LOG ENTRY "Campfire_Recipes;Personal_TL"

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The day has come and gone. Yesterday was the last day of my spring tour of duty. Today, I would have been strapped in to the saddle of Professor Redwood's Dragonite and whisked away to the wonderful world of air conditioning and expensive lattes and romantic partners with normal human genitals.

Oh, normal human genitals. I miss you like a soldier in an old war story misses their dear wife and children while they sit in the trenches and wait to be Hyper Beamed.

Okay, you know what? This is a wash. If I start one of these logs at that level of gloom, there's really nowhere else to go but down. I'm gonna start again.

>COMMIT

LOG COMMITTED

APPEND LOG "Campfire_Recipes;Personal_TL"

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Another season at the Patias Nature Reserve! I can't believe my luck at being selected for a second term. The sun, the scenic vistas, the migration

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The migration patterns. Sweet Mew, I'd almost forgotten about the migrations. They were half the reason I signed up for the post. There have been theories about what might show up in the valley, a lot of extrapolation based on trainer surveys of the surrounding regions. We know that a few select species of winged Bug types come up here in the warmer months, that Fire types range out from the warmer climes up north into temperate areas like this one, in search of forage and prey. I remember my professor was pretty adamant that a bunch of diadromous Water types should be headed upstream as the water warms, trying to escape predators coming in from the southern sea.

Oh, wow. It just occurred to me that I might be able to document an honest to goodness Water type spawning event. Imagine being able to see something on that scale with my own two eyes, instead of just watching recordings on nature documentaries. Is that why so many of the blinds are on the central river? Are they going to let me set up the cameras to observe?

No. No, don't be silly, Larch. Spawnings are as normal and well-studied an event as they come. Sure, the valley has been undocumented for a few years, but someone had to be watching the river before Team Terror showed up. There's no reason to believe that a bunch of anarchist squatters in a ramshackle commune changed the environment of this place so badly as to require in depth investigation.

Or did it? Maybe I could convince Professor Redwood

ALERT

YOU HAVE A PRIORITY EMAIL FROM USER:LabAdmin

TYPE ">READ" TO READ MESSAGE. TYPE ">RESUME" TO RETURN TO APPLICATION.

>READ

PRINTING MESSAGE FROM USER:LabAdmin. TYPE ">RESUME" TO RETURN TO APPLICATION.

Junior Researcher Larch

Allow me to offer my sincerest apologies. I understand yesterday was supposed to be the day I came down to the valley to see you. Since you are staying on for another season, there was no need to air-lift you back to the Lab. Because of that, apparently yours truly forgot that there were other reasons to check in on Junior Researchers who have spent the last three months out in the wilderness alone.

I sincerely cannot apologize enough for this gaffe on my part. Rest assured, I will be coming down to the valley tomorrow. I will be going over a few of the new pieces of equipment for you to endure the changing temperatures, getting an overview of your notes and findings of the wild Pokemon in the region, and generally touching base with you about how you're holding up. Do not hesitate to voice any concerns or questions you might have. You are able to do so over messages, of course, but I find that sometimes, concerns are best expressed in person.

Keep up the good work, and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Regards,

Redwood

MESSAGE END

>REPLY

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Good morning, Professor

Please do not feel the need to apologize. Truth be told, I had also thought that since you did not need to pull me from the valley, you were not planning on coming around. I was prepared to continue my work uninterrupted. Naturally, however, I am happy to have you here to discuss the valley. I shall have to spend some time cleaning my living space, to make sure it is prese

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ntable.

I look forward to speaking with you.

Sincerely,

Junior Researcher Larch

>SEND

MESSAGE SENT

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RESUMING APPLICATION: LOG

Or did it? Maybe I could convince Professor Redwood Professor Redwood is coming to the cabin tomorrow!

This is the worst thing that could happen. She's going to be here. Like, here! In the room where I'm writing this! The room that smells like Mightyena musk! The room that has an entire wild Pokemon taking a nap in the cot right behind me! What am I going to do?

You know, other than spiral into a word processor for no reason.

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I decided to take up meditation, whenever I've started to feel overwhelmed. I don't know if it helps, but I had a friend in college who swore by it.

Refocusing, Larch. Refocusing.

This is fine. This is completely survivable. All I need to do is convince Subject Alpha that she'll need to make herself scarce for a day. After that will be the task of getting her marks cleared up, but I have the sneaking suspicion that's going to be the easy part. How am I supposed to get her to go along with this, is the main issue.

I suppose I could just... talk to her?

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WE

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That actually worked better than I thought it would. A lot better. I just told her, in plain Patian, what was going to happen and why I needed her to not be around when my boss showed up. Amazingly, she seemed to understand me. This shouldn't be so surprising. Entire fields of biology are dedicated to studying Pokemon and their ability to understand humans. Plus, if our time together has taught me anything, it's that this Mightyena is definitely an intelligent one.

I mean, to be honest, this Mightyena has taught me a lot more than that. Her intelligence is probably the most likely thing I would ever admit to anyone else. Everything else is a secret I intend to take to my grave.

Anyway, I'm happy. Getting Subject Alpha on-side was surprisingly painless, and now I can just worry about the other things. Although she doesn't seem particularly happy about having to sleep outside, again. And she gave me a look when I told her about the Professor. I don't know how to describe it, but it reminded me of that very unreadable look she gave when we were on the mountaintop and

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Oh, Mew. Is it because Professor Redwood's another human? Is it because Professor Redwood's a woman? Is Subject Alpha

THIS

I'm not worrying about Subject Alpha, anymore. Subject Alpha is a solved matter. I am going to worry about getting through my interview with my boss without revealing something that will get me instantly fired and drummed out of academia. That is the crisis. Subject Alpha is not the crisis. She will be fine.

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I will be fine.

>COMMIT

LOG COMMITTED

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WELCOME

>APPEND LOG "Campfire_Recipes;Personal_TL"

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Okay. So, it was pretty touch and go, there. As long as I imagined some of the things I saw and felt, I think I'm in the clear.

I didn't have enough time to get the smell completely out of my cabin. It probably would have been good enough for a human's nose, but I wasn't about to take the risk that Professor Redwood come in with something with a better sense of smell. Mightyena musk is distinct as anything, and Subject Alpha has been thorough about leaving it all around my cabin. Luckily, I had something of a cunning plan.

The Professor knocked on my door mid-morning. I'd made a big show of sounding frazzled, calling out "Oh, just a minute! I'm coming!" I made a few very obvious banging noises, muttered some things loud enough to be heard through the stone door. Then, the "disaster" struck.

Because I have spent the last few weeks going out without using Repel (since my furry bodyguard was more than enough to repel wild Pokemon), I had a pretty sizable stockpile of the things. All it took was smacking the top of one of the cans against the wall in just the right way, and suddenly my room was being fogged with a stream of very potent, very unpleasant smelling chemicals. All I had to do, after that, was the one thing a person would logically do; burst from my cabin coughing and cursing.

Professor Redwood was about as surprised to see me as you could imagine. Quickly , I explained to her that, in my haste to get to the door, I seemed to have knocked over a can of Repel, and now it was venting into my cabin and making a mess. She seemed to accept my story with the sort of good humor that comes from having had similar misadventures in the past. The Riolu who she had by her side seemed a bit unsure. I think the little blue jackal suspected something was up. Once they got a whiff of the chemicals on me, however, and saw the fog rolling out from the doorway, they very quickly lost interest in getting any closer to investigate.

Fortunately for the three of us, it was a bright and warm day on the mountain. The Professor suggested we take a walk, to "give me a chance to air out" while we discussed the findings during the season. Truthfully, I think she was just happy for the excuse to walk and talk. If there's one thing I remember about Professor Redwood, it's that she was no stranger to a good hike. Despite spending much of her recent career in the Lab, she always seemed like an athletic type, always up for a long adventure in the wilderness. Even after months of regular labor, I still felt out of shape, next to her.

I missed conversation. I missed talking to someone and having them talk back, to hear Patian in a voice other than my own. Professor Redwood was always interesting to talk to. If I had to describe her attitude, it would be somewhere between "boss" and "teacher." As I went over the highlights of my field reports, she asked a lot of questions that I feel like she should already have had the answer to. What types of Pokemon tended to gather where, why I thought that might be, what sort of changes I was expecting from the summer months. She told me once that she wasn't fond of "feeding" information to her fellow researchers, that she considered it important to understand what her peers' thought processes were. The fact that she was willing to take such a tone with a Junior Researcher like me was

THIS S

It was flattering. It was flattering for such a respected scientist to be treating me like a peer. That's how I feel, and I will return the professionalism by ignoring that rogue thought that popped into my head.

TH

Fuck me, I miss people.

Anyway, we came to a stop at a little clearing at the top of the mountain. The exact same clearing I had had dinner at, just a few nights ago. I don't understand how it happened. The Professor, seasoned hiker that she was, was the one leading us up the trail. Getting to the campsite required taking a pretty deliberate path, and not the easiest one to do. I know that I certainly wouldn't have taken us here. Not to the spot where a pair of canines spitroasted me.

"Oh, look at that," I remember her saying. "Somebody set up a campfire, here."

There was nothing else I could do. I had to play it cool. "That was me," I explained. "I decided to spend a dinner out under the stars, a few nights ago. You get a really good view of the valley from here."

"You certainly do," she replied, staring out at the rolling hills and the forest below with clear, wistful envy. Then, as if remembering her job, she cleared her throat and added. "I hope you took the necessary precautions. There's not telling what you might run into, late at night."

I told her I was, while also trying as hard as I could not to think of Subject Alpha.

We continued the interview, right then and there. The Professor, in what I can only describe as Giratina's luck, sat on one end of the circle of stones and motioned for me to sit down on the opposite side. Directly at the spot where I sat, a few nights ago. The same spot where

THI

everything happened.

It was surprisingly difficult to keep my mind from wandering. You would think that talking shop with a woman who was way smarter than you would be more than enough to distract me. At the same time, however, I suppose I was at a disadvantage. I had only just recovered. For more or less the entire first day, afterwards, my ability to walk was hampered by the strange void-feeling where an Arcanine had split me open. And now, this afternoon, I could feel that horrible stretch every time I thought about it.

I thought about it a lot.

If there was one thing that kept me focused, it was the presence of the Professor's Riolu. Those dogs were not quite telepathic, but their aura-sense gave them a talent for empathy that was especially dangerous, for me. On multiple occasions, as memories bubbled up like classic intrusive thoughts, I found myself staring into a pair of disinterested, dark-red eyes, and I would remember where I was.

Eventually, I decided to go on the offensive.

"Now that I have you here," I said,"I just remembered I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh, yeah?" Professor Redwood replied, almost conversationally.

"I was going to ask about the spawning season for the Water types coming upstream."

Brilliance! Perfection! With this, I had freed myself from distraction. No phantom dog-cock could keep me from running off about something I knew and was passionate about. Making matters better was the fact that going off on a tear like I was clearly activated some scholar's instinct in my boss, as well. She was over the moon to hear that I was willing to take on the work necessary to monitor the rivers. Apparently, it was one of several projects she kept on a whiteboard in her office, projects that she otherwise lacked the time and the hands to get done. Before you know it, we were discussing initial plans and making mission statements with all the giddy aplomb of schoolchildren about to do their first hands-on science lesson.

You know, between this and the thing where I spoke to Subject Alpha, it turns out there's quite a bit you can do by just coming out and talking about things. Who knew?

Speaking of Subject Alpha

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I thought I heard a scrabbling at my door, but it went away. Strange.

Right around the end of our talk, I noticed Riolu was no longer looking at me. Their eyes were pointed downhill, and if the wary expression on their face was any indication, there was something noteworthy behind me. As I was standing up, I took a look back towards the trail. I saw black fur against the rock and grass. Subject Alpha was not particularly stealthy, especially not in full sunlight, but she was clearly trying.

"Something happening?" The Professor asked.

"Oh, it's probably nothing," I replied. I was not about to ruin a perfectly good and exonerating afternoon with my boss by acknowledging one of the creatures that would get me fired. Instead, I proceeded to go over the list of equipment I was going to have to requisition for this project we were both excited about. You know. For thoroughness's sake, and definitely not for distraction purposes.

Again, flawless. The meeting was about to close, and I was looking forward to waving good bye as my boss flew off on her Dragonite, leaving me to scrub the Repel off of the walls of my cabin. But then, the thing happened.

Professor Redwood hugged me.

I don't understand why. The Professor, normally a bastion of professionalism, a woman who I've never seen so much as touch another creature that wasn't a Pokemon, was suddenly wrapped around my body like I was an old friend coming off a train. And then, before I could even begin processing that, let alone say something, I feel her lips on my cheek.

I remember her saying something like "I am so glad that I picked you for this assignment." As if that explains this sort of brazen unprofessionalism! Honestly! It was good that Subject Alpha wasn't around, when I went looking at where she had been hiding. I can't even begin to imagine what that creature would think, if she'd seen that.

To make matters even stranger, no sooner had she done that then the Professor is calling her ride and leaving. It was actually kind of awkward, how quickly she seemed to change gears. She left so quickly and so cleanly, that for a few minutes afterwards I had to really contemplate whether she had actually done what she had.

She had, of course. I could still feel her lips on my face. I kind of can feel it, now, even, if I think ab

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Mew save me, I miss human contact.

No. We're ignoring all of that. What's important here is that I have won. Professor Redwood is none the wiser about my many, many incidents. To top it all off, I managed to walk out of that interview with her blessing to go do some actual, honest to Arceus science. The study of the river is going to be a serious feather in my cap. It might even yield enough data to write a study worthy of peer review! The thought of

No, that's definitely scrabbling outside. I think that's Subject Alpha. I'd better let her in. I'm sure she'll be happy to know that I won't be going anywhere, any time soon.

>COMMIT

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WELCOME

>REQUISITION

ACCESSING LAB EQUIPMENT REQUISITION INTERFACE

Welcome. Please enter the ID Number of the item you wish to requisition.

>03-6881

Item no. 03-6881: League issue denim traveling pants. Confirm?

>Y

Item will be sent in the size on file for user: TLarch. Confirm?

>Y

Item no. 03-6881 is being sent through the Item PC System no. Do you need to requisition any further items?

>y

>Y

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03-0161

Item no. 03-0161: League issue field shirt (short-sleeved). Confirm?

>Y

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>N

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>Y

Item no. 03-0161 is being sent through the Item PC System now. Do you need to requistion any further items?

>Y

Please enter the ID Number of the item you wish to requisition.

54-0064

Item no. 54-0064: Chansetech brand over-the-counter pain reliever medication. Confirm?

>Y

Please remember to use all medical supplies in a manner consistent with written instructions.

Item no 54-0064 is being sent through the Item PC System now. Do you need to requisition any further items?

>N

CLOSING LERI

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>APPEND LOG "Campfire_Recipes;Personal_TL"

BEGIN LOG ENTRY, TYPE ">COMMIT" TO FINISH

She was not happy. Sweet Mew save me, she was anything but happy.