FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

If it could be believed, the day he invited the wrath of a fully-evolved Psychic type was not one of the most stressful days in Liam's working life. For a while, it seemed as though it was bound to be. However, unlike peak hours at the Poke-Mart, today's crisis peaked quickly and faded even quicker.

By the time he had managed to scramble out of the elevator and onto the main floor, a crowd had gathered outside the false walls of the I.T. area. There, humans and Pokemon watched, with varying degrees of concern and amusement, as the structure shook and the air thrummed with unfettered psychic fury. The sound of yips and yowls floated through as well, barely even slowed by the thin plaster and particle board.

At the back edge of the crowd, Liam could see Reggie pointing a Poochyena off towards the main vestibule, following the small grey hound with her eyes as it bounded off. She was usually an easy-going sort, prone to dressing like she was going to the gym instead of work and only ever seeming to tighten her face when she was behind a camera lens. Even now, awash in psychic power, she looked up and fixed Liam with a smile that seemed to say Mondays, am I right?

"What's up, new guy?" she drawled. "Here to see the light show?"

Liam flinched, as a fresh wave shook the structure. He half-imagined the thing was moving to one side, an inch at a time. "Th-this is bad, isn't it?" he asked, in that very specific way a new employee asks questions when they are sure that a sacking is just around the corner. "This is, like... real bad."

Liam had never gotten a straight answer on whether Reggie understood Pokemon. Sometimes she seemed to, and sometimes she didn't. If there was one thing she understood perfectly, however, it was the look on someone's face when they thought they were getting fired. She took one look at Liam, saw the damp hair and the closing elevator door. She remembered seeing the new guy being led by the paw by the boss's Lopunny, earlier. She connected the dots.

"Nah," she said, with a shrug. "It's more of a pain in the ass. Not gonna be a problem for long, though. The cavalry is on the way."

That was supposed to be reassuring. It didn't take long at all for Reggie to realize that her plan backfired. Liam began to look around, with the unmistakable dread of someone responsible for calling in "the manager."

It almost would have been funny, had he not ran a hand through his mess of black hair and made the bravest possible attempt to channel the spirit of Mondays, am I right? "The cavalry, huh?" he said. "Who's that? Bruce, probably. It's..." The smile on his face faltered almost as soon as it appeared. "I-is it Bruce?"

She sighed. "No, Liam, it's not Bruce." Off in the distance, the door leading to the lobby swung open with a burst of righteous anger. Reggie smirked. "Our IT guy's probably going to wish it was Bruce, though."

A white and green shape burst onto the main floor. Grey the Kirlia bounded across the concrete. Rather than running, her motions were a series of weightless sautés, each bound taking her several body lengths. The effect would have been captivating, as if she was not bound by the rules of gravity. It became unnerving, however, when Liam saw she was approaching with an expression that positively screamed "the cavalry."

The gathered crowd seemed to be unnerved, as well. A few people and Pokemon on the fringes decided that the impromptu break was over, and went off to go look busy. A few stayed to watch Grey as she disappeared into the IT room. Liam and Reggie were among the latter group. Not that it mattered, since the walls were so thin that Grey was clearly audible, when she first opened her mouth.

"Mister Arete!" she shouted.

The psychic pressure emanating from the IT room stopped, suddenly and completely. In its place was a tense silence. Arete's voice came through the walls, hoarse and anxious. "M-M-Miss Grey!" simpered the Alakazam. "Goodness, what brings you down here? Was I being a mite too loud, again?"

Even though they couldn't see the exchange, everyone in the warehouse could feel the determined finality wafting through the walls like an unfelt heat. "Put down the keyboards, Mister Arete. You and I are going to do some deep breathing and visualization."

"Oh, no. That's quite all right, Miss. I've just got so much on my plate, and I really need to..."

"You can either do them with me, or I can call my dad in here so you can do them with him."

The silence that followed that statement was long, and colored with an unspoken fear on the part of every listener who could understand Pokemon. After a moment, there was a clattering noise, as if a dozen computer keyboards were dropped onto their desks all at once.

"Great!" Grey's voice was suddenly just as chipper as it had been, when she had said good morning to Liam just a few hours ago. "Thank you so much, Mister Arete. Now, you remember the techniques we taught you, right? For when we need to deal with stress problems?"

"Yes, Miss," Arrete muttered, defeated.

"Great, great! Then we can start with the basics. Go ahead and close your eyes, Mister Arrete. That's good. Now, you're going to take deep breaths, in through the nose... and out through the mouth. In through the nose..."

Reggie sighed, turning to her coworker. "All right, Liam. Come with me. I've got a new job for you."

---

Reggie probably could have had her own dedicated office. She had been here long enough, did enough of the day-to-day work around the building. More importantly, Bruce had had an entire wing constructed for private offices, and so far he was the only one occupying any of them. Even so, Reggie refused to even consider it. If she got her own office, then she would stop being an employee and start being "the boss." If she became "the boss," people might expect her to stop wearing sweatpants to work. They might even come to her with more problems than they already did!

No, she was happy where she was. On any given day, when she wasn't caught up in a shoot, where she was was usually in the basement, in a dark little work-room with an especially beefy computer. Here, people edited raw, out of sequence footage together into videos good enough to be bootlegged by assholes who think that porn was somehow not subject to copyright. Tedious work, to be sure, but it came with the fringe benefit of being able to look at hours upon hours of said raw footage.

"Pull up one of those stools," she said, as she took her familiar perch in front of the computer. "I got some actors I gotta introduce you to."

"Um, okay." Liam fetched a stool from under the desk. He did it so gingerly, Reggie thought he must be expecting a trap. Heck, Liam looked like he thought the thing might explode in his hands like an Electrode. She was willing to ignore it, willing to get on with her work and pretend like nothing had happened. If Liam was smart, he would have taken the invitation. After a moment, however, she heard the first hesitant "Uh" from his mouth, and knew he was about to choose being good over being smart.

"Um," he muttered, "is...is Mister Arete going to be in trouble? It wasn't his fault."

Reggie turned and raised an eyebrow at her new coworker.

Liam balked, but only a moment. "W-well, it wasn't entirely his fault. I was the reason he'd got so mad."

Keep the faith, Reggie thought to herself. Give him an off-ramp and hope he takes it. "He was definitely in rare form," she said, casually. "The old fox has anger management issues like nothing else, but normally he only gets to earthquake levels if somebody starts instigating him. Is that what you did? Rile him up?"

"N-n-no! It was..." He was so close. One more word and he would have thrown his coworker under the bus like a smart kid. Reggie already knew it was Jezebel's fault. All Liam needed to do was say one...more... But instead, he shrunk back and muttered "I mean... I don't know. Maybe I did. But not on purpose, you know?"

Reggie rolled her eyes, openly. Plan B, then. She turned back to the computer and found the files she was looking for. She scanned the titles for the most distracting video in the folder, eventually settling on one and double-clicking.

The room was suddenly awash in light, blue followed by purple followed by blue again. Throaty moans and grunts rang from the speakers, one husky and the other breathy. Liam's eyes widened, as they moved to the screen.

On it, a Nidoking and Nidoqueen were engaged in slow but powerful lovemaking. There was no other word to describe it. Their large, hard-scaled bodies rolled together in a practiced wave. Nidoking pushed forward with intention, a smile in his beady blue eyes and in the loving rasp of his breath. Beneath him, Nidoqueen closed her eyes and groaned, claws gripping at the spines along her lover's arms as she spread her short legs as wide as they would go. The camera changed; Liam felt his face go hot as he got a prime worm's eye view of Nidoking's tapered cock, sawing in and out.

Then, suddenly, recognition struck. "Wait," he said. "That's... is that Honey and Dear? We've got Honey and Dear working in this studio?"

Reggie chuckled. "Wow. Instant recognition, huh? You really do know every actor in the roster, don't you?"

"Ah..." Liam balked, at that. "No, that's not... I just... you see videos online, is all. A-a-and photos, too! Mainly the photos. People... really like... you know, sharing the..."

It was all she could do, to keep a straight face. She closed the video and pulled up a second one. This was a slideshow of various photos taken of the monster couple. They were mostly all "safe for work," which made them both incredibly popular among people who just wanted cute Pokemon pictures, as well as the only Honey and Dear content most people would ever admit to having seen.

"You got it, though," she said. "These two lovebirds are part of the stable. Not exactly the greatest breadwinners, especially given how much some of these shoots cost. Still, the fans absolutely adore them, so it all works out."

The screen shifted to Honey and Dear on a beach. Dear, the Nidoqueen, was wearing a custom-made black, one-piece swimsuit and large, round rimmed sunglasses, holding a large sunhat on her head to keep it from blowing away. Honey the Nidoking brought up the rear, in a pair of also custom-made blue board shorts, a smattering of white zinc on his purple snout and a pair of ice cream cones in his hands.

Reggie continued. "We've actually got something big planned for the two of them, actually. Dunno if it's gonna be a world-first or what, but..."

Honey and Dear sat at a table in a candlelit restaurant, whispering sweet nothings to each other over plates of spaghetti. Liam found himself drawn to their eyes, to the novel's worth of words they seemed to be saying to each other, even in a still image.

"...'gotta be traditional about it' he says. Real easy, right? Definitely don't have to spend all day making sure these two..."

The next image was very simple. No sets, no costumes. Dear stood behind her boyfriend, arms wrapped around his neck. Her head was leaned in, to plant a gentle kiss on Honey's cheek. The Nidoking smiled a dopey smile, one eye closed, one large, almost rabbit-like ear in the middle of a bashful twitch.

Liam could do nothing but stare. It was a good picture. It was probably the best picture he had ever seen of the couple. Even as he felt a dull ache blossom in his chest, he continued to stare. And when the image finally shifted to Honey and Dear, posing in a combat stance on a League battle pitch, the ache remained. Liam could do nothing but focus on it.

"...am? Liam!"

He flinched, suddenly remembering where he was. "I'm...I am so sorry. What were you saying? I was distracted."

Reggie clicked off of the slideshow, letting the screen return to the desktop with its corporate and not-at-all-indicative logo of a Pokeball. Then, she turned back to her coworker. "I'm saying, we've got a big shoot, in a few weeks. Well, to be honest, we've had a big shoot in a few weeks for the past six months, but our star talent has been pushing that back."

"What do you mean?"

Reggie sighed. "Bruce has this idea that it'll 'build anticipation' and 'be more romantic' if we set the two of them apart, for a while. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder,' you know?"

Liam nodded. Then his brow furrowed. "So... what? Were the two of them just... not on board with the idea?"

"Oh, no, they were both way into it," Reggie laughed. "At least, at first they were. Those two are like teenagers; the moment they realized they'd have to hold it for a while, they couldn't control themselves. We've caught them trying to sneak some alone time just about anywhere in the warehouse they could fit. In the showers, the unused offices, at least half the studios down here, the maintenance closets..."

"Oh." Liam's face burned, as he started to imagine every single one of those trysts. "Six months, you say?"

"Yup. It got so bad that we had to deploy the nuclear option."

"The nuclear option?"

"Separate hotel rooms." Reggie's face was grim. "On opposite sides of town. So far, it's just been me checking in on them, because for all I know one of them will find a way to wheelde the location of the other one out of anyone else."

"Wow. Okay." Liam was serious, as he thought the information over. "I guess it's a big deal, if you've gotta go to such lengths just to keep two Pokemon off each other. What... um, what does that have to do with me? I-I mean... what do you need me to do?"

"I'm going to give you the address of where we're holding these two. I want you to check on them, tomorrow."

Liam stared, blankly. It was funny. For a second he could have sworn she had just said that he would have to go visit the hotel room of two world famous Pokemon. Two world famous Pokemon who were famous for being constantly horny and sexual. Two Pokemon he had masturbated to on several occasions and would now be alone in a hotel room...

"What?" All at once, his mind caught up with what Reggie had said. "Y-you want to send me?"

"No, not really." Reggie let that statement sit, for just long enough that Liam was about to start gaslighting himself into thinking he'd misheard her. But then, she elaborated: "I don't want to, but we've got a backlog of footage that needs to be cleaned up, and I can't afford to run around town, all day. You've got the lightest workload, right now, and since you can talk to Pokemon, you were already perfect for the job."

"B-but you want me to... see both of them? You're gonna give me the address where I can find them both? What if they...?" Unbidden, images came to his mind. Images of smooth, hard-scaled bodies, pressed invitingly against... a sudden and distressing tingle forced him to focus. "What if they... you know, try to do the...wheedling...thing?"

Reggie knew only one thing about her new coworker, and that was the story of how he got fired from his last job. She had a sneaking suspicion that, despite his protests, being "wheedled" was right up his alley. Nevertheless, the look he was giving her, right now,told her she would need to deploy some kind of tact. She always found it annoying to talk to closeted Pokefuckers.

They reminder her of when she was a teenager.

"Look, Liam, it'll be fine," she said. "They can be a little pushy, sometimes, but it's not like they're going to torture you for the information." At least, she thought, they won't do so physically. "Just tell them you can't, and they'll back off." Though they might get your pants off before they relent.

"Are... are you sure?"

"Yes, of course!" Reggie lied, emphatically not sure. "They're trained professionals who are used to dealing with people. They aren't monsters!" She paused, a moment. "Well, I mean, they are monsters, but... you know, you get the idea."

The young man grasped for a moment to think. Not that he could, since any thoughts about the job inevitably turned to memories of loving, passionate Pokemon. Eventually, he was forced to relent. "So... when did you need this done?"

"Tomorrow." Reggie turned back to the desk, pulling a sheet of paper from a nearby pad. "Just check in on them quickly, right after you clock in. Shouldn't take much more than a few minutes for each of them." Scribbling the addresses down, she handed the paper off to him. "Feel free to take a bit longer, if you need to. Let me know if they're having any problems."

"O-o-okay." Liam took the paper gingerly, as if he were afraid it was about to bite him.

She added "It goes without saying, but 'I really want to nut in my girlfriend' is not a problem worth reporting."

"Got it," Liam replied, blushing.

"And vice-versa, as well."

His blush deepened. "Right. Well, then... I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow, then. Assuming there's a problem, anyway. Not that I think there will be one. You know, other than the... than the obvious..."

For a moment, it looked like that was going to be the end of the conversation. Liam petered out, failed to start up, again, and then turned to try and make for the door. Reggie sighed, internally. "Hey, Liam." He flinched, before turning around and pretending all was well. "Do me a favor, will you? If you ever do something like what happened with Arete again, don't bother Bruce with it. Come straight to me, and we'll sort it out together."

"Uh, sure. Yeah, I can... I m-mean, yes. Whatever you say, boss."

Of course that's the word he'd use. Reggie waited until Liam was out of the room, before rolling her eyes and sighing to herself. Okay, Reg, she thought. You took steps to keep your new coworker from confessing his screw-up to anyone who matters. That's your good deed for the day done. You know what you need, now? A reward. With an avid glint in her eyes, she once again opened the folder of raw video files and began to scroll through it. Somewhere in the list was a video of that big old Manectric that somebody had brought in for a showcase. If that dog was packing anything even half as impressive as his titanic nuts would suggest...

The door opened, again. Reggie's expression of lustful greed immediately melted, replaced with the practiced indifference of somebody preparing to do grunt work. "Yes? What's up?"

Liam stood halfway in the door-frame, awkwardly. "You said there was some kind of event that Honey and Dear are preparing for. What, um... what is it?"

"Oh!" Reggie straightened in her seat. “That’s right. I don’t think I actually said.” She smiled. “Honey and Dear are getting married, and we’re going to run the ceremony live in the studio.”