FSE

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Deep within his laboratory (next to the picture of his lab), Sheldon J. Plankton pours over the scientific formula he has been concocting. His brow furrows, he licks his lips and sweat drips. His focus is solely on the formulation he has made, and with the final drop, the potion he has concocted fizzles, bubbles, settles, and turns into a deep crimson.

“Success!” shouts the miniature mastermind. “At long last, that blasted Eugene Krabs will no longer be able to bully me out of his restaurant. With this concoction, I will have the strength of the entire Plankton family, all in this body. Ooh hoho, yes. Sweet revenge will be mine, and then—the Krabby Patty secret formula.” He continues his maniacal laughter, rubbing his flagella together, his brow furrowed in Machiavellian glee.

“Sheldon!” comes the voice of Plankton’s computer wife. “It’s 4 in the morning! Some people are trying to sleep!”

“Can’t you see I’m making science, woman!” Plankton shouts, but he turns back to his potion. “Hm, but I probably should get some rest. Who knows what this extra-strength extra strength potion would do to my tummy in the night.”

He places the drink in the refrigerator and heads off to bed. With his laboratory left alone, the only thing left to monitor is the fluid inside the fridge.

“Hm…”

* * *

“Well, honey, I’m off to work, and by ‘work,’ I mean taking the Krabby Patty Secret Formula!” Plankton says, grabbing his drink from the fridge.

“You know, Sheldon,” remarks Karen. “I was looking over the formula. You really shouldn’t drink that.”

“Oh, remember, dear, Organic Chemistry is my department. Yours is being beautiful.” He says this, kissing his computer wife before he hops off and whistles down to the Krusty Krab.

“Solicitations!” shouts the boisterous plankton as he throws the doors open, strutting his stuff up to the register.

Squidward stands bored, sighing when Plankton approaches. “No, you aren’t allowed to order anything,” Squidward says, sighing.

“That’s perfectly alright,” says Plankton, pulling out his concoction. “I’ve brought my own refreshments today.”

Scuttling out of the manager’s office comes the irate Mr. Krabs. “No outside food or drink in the Krusty Krab—not unless you pay the ‘Outside food and drink fee, which will be, aaah!” he gasps, pointing a big meaty claw at the intruder. “Plankton!”

“That’s right, Krabs!” says Plankton. “I’m here in your restaurant without an army, without robotic doppelgangers, and without a convoluted series of events. I just have this!”He says this, chugging down the drink and then tossing the empty bottle away. Burping, he pats his stomach. “Uuugh, I was right about it upsetting my tummy.”

“So, that’s your little plan, is it? What new kind of sody-pop are you selling at the Chum Bucket? I bet it's flat!

“Ha, shows what you know! It’s as fizzy as the day I made it! Now come on, Krabs, kick me out!”

“With pleasure!” Mr. Krabs says, cocking back a leg and football-kicking the villain.

Or he would if Plankton didn’t stop the kick with one flagellum.

“What!?”

“That’s right, Krabs. That potion I created makes me stronger than anything in Bikini Bottom. Bigger than Bubba. Larger than Larry and more kilograms than Kyle. There’s no way you can stop me now from demanding your secret Formula. There’s nothing you can do to stop me, hey!”

Mr. Krabs yanks his leg away, taking a cup and putting it over Plankton. He then sits on it. “Doesn’t matter how strong a shrimp is if he’s still a shrimp, agugugugugugah!”

Plankton grumbles inside the prison, pushing against the cup, but he cannot escape without proper leverage. “Curse you laws of physics!” he says, shaking his fist.

As he does, though, he notices the definition in his arm, the muscle that grows on it. “Oh hey, that doesn’t look half-bad.” He chuckles to himself, but then the arm explodes in size, and he screams.

Mr. Krabs flies off the cup, landing on a nearby table, and he screams.

Squidward observes Plankton’s arms grow huge, supporting his tiny body, and Squidward screams!

“Waaaaah! Waaaaah! Aaaaah! Aaaaah!”

As Squidward Screams, Plankton’s legs balloon into shapely things. Now, he can stand tall, though his tiny body is disproportional to the rest of him. Suddenly, his chest expanded until he was a tall Adonis of a man.

He smirks and leans forward on the register, wiggling his brow. “So, Mr.Tentacles, are you gonna give me that formula now?”

“Oh no, he’s hot!” thinks Mr. Tentacles. “I-I-I don’t know the formula.” He blabbers, though something in him wishes he did—something that wouldn’t have minded a bit of forced interrogation by the baritone-voiced Adonis before him.

“No matter,” claps the villain, turning his attention to Mr. Krabs. “Oh, Eugene! How about I beat the formula out of you?” He says this, punching one fist into the other.

Mr. Krabs flips on the table, standing up and putting up his claws. “I was in the Navy! I know my way around a brawl!”

“Oh yes, I’ve been waiting decades to do this to you and… ah… ah? Uuurgh!” He grabs his stomach, falling to his knees.

“Ha! What’s the matter, Plankton? Your little cheaty potion doing too much to ya?”

“Curse you, Krabs!” Plankton says, wrapping his arms around his stomach. “Y-you’ll rue the day that you… that you… ah… ahh… waaaah!”

Outside the Krusty Krab, Fred whistles, about to open the door, when the walls and windows explode. The massive Plankton grows too large for the building to contain him, sending Fred flying far off, crashing away from the scene, and screaming, “My Leg!”

Plankton, now wearing the Krusty Krab like a tanktop, laughs as he stands tall, flexing his muscles. “What’s this? My formula has transformed me into a hulking behemoth? Oh yes! My body now matches my prodigious mind! Take that, Krabs! Krabs?”

Plankton bends his neck, looking into the Krusty Krab through a shattered window. All he can see are his highly detailed pectoral muscles. They jiggle, and he chuckles, bouncing one and then the other. “Oh, look at that. That’s remarkable!”

Spongebob, Mr. Krabs, and Squidward hop out the back door, floating down with his specialty spatula.

“Oh wow! Plankton’s as big as David Hasselhoff!” Spongebob quips.

“Come on, me boy,” Mr. Krabs says, clinging to Spongebob. “We need to get to where I keep the real formuler!”

Squidward, clinging desperately to Mr. Krabs, screams. “You don’t keep it in the Krusty Krab?”

“No, of course not!” Shouts Mr. Krabs. I keep it in Goo Lagoon!” he says, winking.

“Huh… I would have never thought of that,” says Spongebob, scratching his cheek. “I would have thought it’d get all sticky.”

“Well, it’s there!” Mr. Krabs says, winking, “and we should go there!” He then pulls Spogebob’s face down towards him and whispers. “I’m lying, me boy! I buried it where the Dutchman’s Treasure was. That’s where we’re really going.”

“Daahahahahaha Okay!” and the three flutter off.

Plankton blinks, spinning around. He runs his hand through his antennae and chuckles. “Oh, so, they left it in Goo Lagoon, eh? I don’t need an excavator to dig up that beech anymore because I have these GUNS!”

With that, he flexes, exploding the Krusty Krab into wooden shrapnel. He hoists the sign, carrying it like a scepter, pumping it in the air, and showing off his incredible physique to the terrorized people who were only after a drink. “I’m the King of Bikini Bottom, and no one can stop me!”

Inside the Chum Bucket, Karen watches, her mechanical hands folded in front of her mouth, her screen head lowered, her face glowing in contemplation.

A jaunty tune plays in Plankton’s head as he stomps through the streets of the city proper, whistling as he twirls the Krusty Krab sign as a baton. Police fish pull up in their boats, ready to stop him with a barricade, but he steps into them, using them as roller skates. “Ooooh hohoh, this is rather nice!” he chortles to himself. “No one will call me short again! No one will ever step on me. I might not even need the secret formula anymore!”

He slams his staff in the street and beats his broad chest. “Listen up, Bikini Bottom! I was once content to be a restaurateur, but NO MORE! Now, I shall be your lord and master! You will bow before my magnificent muscles and magnanimous mind and call me your Lord and Master!”

The people of Bikini Bottom mutter among themselves, leaving Plankton standing there, posturing but frowning when no one does what he says.

That’s when he throws his fist through a nearby house and then kicks it, crumbling to dust!

At that point, the people scream in terror, rushing about.

* * *

She wheels herself from her spot in the Chum Bucket and further down past the lab and even past the laboratory, entering a secret elevator built by miniaturized robots and subcontractors from Sheldon’s extended family. She folds her arms over her tube-like body, the lines on her screen squiggling in annoyance and disdain.

“I tried to warn him,” she tells herself through the logic gates in her processor. “Therefore, there is nothing else to be done about it.”

When the elevator stops, she wheels out into an enormous hangar. The room is empty, except for robotic claws, welders, and pistons, ready for their instructed purpose.

A minuscule indentation is in the center of this massive chamber. Karen wheels right up to it, entirely fitting into the nook. She raises her arms, locking them in place. A moment later, her monitor shuts off.

Then, the room becomes alive. The various whirling motors kick in, bringing tons of metal to her. Fabricators come to life, printing out plates of all shapes and sizes. At the same time, robotic arms reach down, drilling, unscrewing, and tearing apart the body that was Karen, lifting her monitor, and more precisely, her CPU, high into the air.

From the manufacturing section comes large pieces, as well as scaffolding to keep it up. It all starts from the bottom, creating massive boots at the base. Above them, legs build upwards, making room for the joints of the upper thigh. Above that, a differently-colored pelvic area to hold her joints, but more importantly, it supports the core.

The chest assembles separately, and the robot arms lift it, placing it in multiple pieces from the front and back. As the myriad arms assemble it, smaller ones come in, unscrewing the back of Karen’s monitor and placing various wires and connectors within it.

Once she fully nestles into the chest of the mecha suit, the front welds on, completing the encasement.

The arms follow suit, and the mechanical manufacturers produce a more incredible monitor above those broad shoulders, many times larger than Karen’s previous one. With a hiss, the monitor connects to the neck and shoulders, and welding arms complete the transitions.

Soon, the screen turns on, and the lines blur and buzz. Then, Karen moves a finger, then a whole hand, and finally, her entire arm, flexing it momentarily.

“Watch out, Sheldon,” she begins. “Now, you’re going to listen to your computer wife.”

* * *

Rubbing his hands, Plankton hunches over and cackles with his evil glee. “Ooh, yes! Run! Run, you tiny fools! Feel what it’s like to be me for once; once you’re tired, you will pour your supplications out to me. This I decree!

He then stomps through the city, grabbing another building. With a heavy grunt, he uproots the building, lifting it over his head and pumping it for his weight training. “Oh yes, this feels good! Dopamine! Endorphins! They’re running through me! I should have exercised more often!”

He then hefts the building over his shoulder, shaking it and sending fish flying out of its chimney. Once satisfied that he had emptied it of all its contents, he points high into the sky, launching the thing through the ocean floor!

Up on the surface, an artist is working on his masterpiece. But then, a muffler comes flying out of the sea, striking his easel and sending his canvas into the water. He falls to his knees, reaching out toward the ruined artwork, crying, “Noooo, why did I have to use watercolor! Why!?”

Plankton covers his eye and watches the sky, frowning. “Wow, that thing isn’t coming down, is it?” He says, and then he looks at his hands. “What have I become?” He asks, gripping his enormous fists, veins popping out on his wrists. “Have I become so powerful that nothing can satisfy my lust for a challenge? Am I becoming too huge?”

He strokes his chin. “No, there must be a worthy opponent somewhere. Perhaps the navy, or that Sandy cheeks girl has a giant robot I could fight or—”

Before Plankton could say anything else, a metallic fist caved in his cheek, and his perception went into slow motion as a tooth flew out of his face, landing on a bench and sending old man Jenkins flying.

The artist, lamenting his work, is slapped in the face by a fish, leaving him stunned. The old man flops back into the sea, saying, “I love the young people!”

Plankton stumbles from the blow, crashing into another building, using it almost like a turnbuckle. He shakes his head, groaning, stroking his cheek. He blinks and turns to face this newfound adversary, only to gasp when he sees the metallic figure standing before him.

“Get up, Sheldon,” says the voice of his Computer Wife Karen. “You’ve gone mad with power, and I’m taking you back home.”

Out on the pier, the announcement system blares out to the people. “Attention Bikini Bottom. A monstrously huge married couple are half naked and squaring off against each other.”

The crowd gathers, listening to the announcement.

“And it looks like they’re getting ready to fight!”

A gasp rises up from the crowd.

“It’s gonna be a real slobber-knocker!”

Cheers fill the pier, and people school to the popcorn stands, practically running the thing over.

* * *

Plankton wipes his chin, where his mouth swells from his tooth being knocked out. “Karen, what’s the meaning of this?” he asks. “You dare strike Plankton the Destroyer?”

“That’s exactly why I would punch you, Sheldon,” Karen says, tightening her fists again. “The power’s gone to your head. I wish I would have done something sooner, but I trusted you to get the formula and come home. Guess even a computer can make mistakes.”

“They call that AI hallucination, my lovely Computer Wife. Now, Karen, go home. I’ll conquer the world, and then I’ll have carte blanche to get the Krabby Patty secret formula. After all, they’ll let someone do anything when they're in charge. No resistance at all, can you believe it!”

Karen starts slowly circling around Plankton, her metallic feet pistoning and clanking with many whirring gears and electrical buzzing. “Sorry, Sheldon, but world conquest isn’t on the menu. The Krabby Patty is, and I’m here to make sure to make you remember that.”

“Karen,” he grumbles.

“It’s ‘Super Mecha Karen’ to you!” Karen says, pointing at him.

“Super Mecha Karen?” Plankton grabs his sides, holding back a laugh, “Ppppfff, where’d you come up with that one, a comic book!”

“It’s better than ‘Plankton the Destroyer,” the computer wife says. “All you can destroy is a few measly buildings? That’s child’s play.”

“I can destroy so much more than that. I could destroy the world if the world would force my hand.”

“You couldn’t destroy anything, not with those tiny muscles of yours,” Karen responds, hands on her hips.

“Tiny!?” Plankton roars. “You think these muscles are tiny?” I’ll show you, tiny!” With that, he flexes, puffing out his cheeks and furrowing his brow. Veins pop up all over him as his muscles expand, becoming much more extensive than before. He even grows in height as he becomes thicker and denser with muscle.

Once done, he raises his arms, posing. “How’s this for tiny, my darling? Please, feel free to admire!” he says, wiggling his eyebrow and smirking with gusto.

Karen feigns a yawn, waving her hand in front of her monitor.

Plankton quirks his brow.

Karen then fakes a breath, lifts her arms, and flexes! Tiles of robotic muscle strain and stretch spread and replaced, embiggening the computer wife as she exerts herself until she reaches the point where she is the same size as the man before her.

She grunts, undoing her flex but keeping her size, rolling her shoulders and staring over at him. “Did you really think I would study your potion and not know everything you were capable of?”

“How perceptive of you, Karen,” Plankton says. “But if you’re trying to stop me, you’re doing a terrible job.” He says this, patting a nearby building and leaning on it. “After all, it seems you’re only making the problem worse!

Karen growls. “I’ll show you worse, Sheldon. Let’s go.”

Plankton smiles, chuckling, hands on his hips, pushing his chest out. “Ah, Ha! So you’re enjoying the power, too, aren’t you? Well, why don’t you just have some fun if you’re so interested in beating me up? Or, you can just return home and whip me up a holographic meatloaf-oof!”

Karen rushes forward, striking with her elbow into Plankton’s chest. It knocks the air out of him, sending him stumbling back, couching, clutching his chest. “Alright, honey. That’s two hits now. Time to control+alt+delete your attitude!”

Plankton rushes forward, leaping up in the air for a flying kick.

Karen calculates his trajectory and steps back, but he lands on his foot, planting it to the ground and spinning around, kicking her against the chest, sending her stumbling back as well.

“Two can play at the calculation games, my dear. After all, I made you! I know what makes you tick!”

Karen rushes up to Plankton, but when PLankton’s arm comes swinging for a slap, she grabs onto it and grapples him, twisting it behind his back and pushing him up against a building. “And why do people make computers do calculations they can’t do?”

“Can’t!?” Plankton groans, his arm stuck inside the building. He grabs a handful of rubble and throws it back toward her, striking her on the screen.

Karen let go, stumbling back and wiping the debris off her monitor and camera.

“Admit it,” Plankton says, striking a pose, “you’re not just trying to control me. You’re looking for an excuse to let loose yourself! Nice body, by the way. It’s a real work of art. Nothing compared to my work of science!”

Karen shakes her head and stomps forward. “I’m a marvel of engineering. You forgot to carry the one when you calculated the formula for your strength potion!” she says this, throwing a punch.

Plankton smiles, grabbing her hand. “My dear Computer Wife,” he tuts her, wagging his finger. “I know you all too well. Go ahead, gloat some more!”

“You could use me to help you make the formula!” she says, pulling her hand back and sweeping his leg with her foot. She pulls him in to make them chest-to-chest, and she wraps her arms around him, lifting him up and squeezing him tight.

“Together, we could make something greater than the Krabby Patty secret formula!” she shouts, suplexing him into a nearby store. When she pushes herself up, she clambers over to pin him down, but he’s too quick, leaping up and grabbing her under her arms. Their faces smash together, cheek-to-screen. “I could steal the formula for you, but you always get in the way! There’s so much we could do if you just would listen!”

“You don’t understand!” Plankton says. “I need to do this. I need to show Krabs who the superior businessman is!”

Karen punches him in the stomach, smashing his face back into the store and rubbing him up against a bunch of canned bread. “A businessman doesn’t destroy a city!”

Meanwhile, the Bikini Bottom Con artist stands in front of the owner of the first destroyed building, counting a wad of cash he had. “She’s right, you know! A real businessman starts a construction company! Hey, could you roll over a bit to the left!?”

Plankton roars and lifts his head, his skull striking Karen on the screen. He then pushes up, spearing her in the stomach and crashing through a few more residential buildings.

The con artist laughs, rubbing himself down in his wads of cash.

One building, two buildings, three buildings, and then he lifts her up, spins her around, and throws her.

Karen flies further away, crashing into the Boating School test track. She pushes herself up as Plankton gloats, grabbing a boat and launching it toward him, smacking him in the head.

“Ooow. I was grandstanding over here!”

“We’re still fighting, you dummy!”

Plankton growls, running for her. This time, his dive isn’t a kick but a cross-chop.

Karen, now standing, holds her hands out, clashing with him. The force of the two immense creatures crashing together sends shockwaves through the Boating School, and poor Mrs. Puff, who had been safe in her class, inflates, rolling away from the force of the blast!

“Your strength is impressive, Karen, but is strength all you got?’

“Of course not!” Karen responds, finally throwing him to the side.

Plankton crashes into the fields beyond the boating school, leaving an explosion of energy and a crater.

“We’re so strong,” Karen says, clenching her fist, “The world around us can’t handle it. If we continue, things will go terrible for everyone.”

Plankton pushes himself up, rubble rocking around him. He dusts himself off, and he chuckles. “Aw honey, I knew you cared.”

Karen’s screen flickers at Plankton’s proclamation, and a slight growl of hard drives and electrons rises from her simulated throat. “Oh, this is all a game to you, Sheldon?”

Plankton stands tall, swatting debris off of him. “Quite frankly, I find this pretty fun.”

“Fun?”

“Yeah, something you wouldn’t know because you don’t like downloading into your model.”

“Oh, I’ll show you fun,” says Karen, holding one hand up in a defensive stance, her other at her side.

“No, no,” says PLankton, shrugging, keeping his hands out in an open gesture. “I’ll be happy to spell it out for you. Just come at me, my lovely computer wife.”

Karen lowers her screen, and then she rushes through the destroyed track, thrusting her palm forward at Plankton.

Plankton hops back, his chuckling and then he opens his mouth to speak.

“F is for fighting, just you and me-e”

He throws his hand forward, revealing the sand that he had kept there, clogging up her vents. As she coughs, he continues.

“U is for under-handed (moves).”

He then grabs around her, lifting her up, throwing the large robotic terror into the giant loop-de-loop at the school.

“N is for Northern Lights Suuuuplex!”

Karen crashes against the ground, practically planted into the track. Plankton claps his hands and heads on over towards the center of the crater. “Well, that was a fun little exercise. Who knew that our clash would cause so much energy to be expended. I wonder how I can use this?” He strokes his chin, not paying attention to the bulky computer woman buried in the dirt.

Karen’s body bends and twists beyond any degree such a muscular being should be able to do, whirrling and clicking as she reconfigures, standing up by rearranging herself at a microscopic level.

“That’s not something I’m interested in, Shaldon,” she says.

Plankton whirls around. “How?”

“Let me spell it for you!”

With that, she launches herself forward, leaving a cloud of dust and mud in her wake.

“F is for a flash strike, faster than lightning!”

Plankton doubles over as he gets punched in the gut, his eye bulging, spit flying out of him.

“U is for uppercut extreme!”

Plankton launches up into the air, and Karen follows up by jumping and grabbing him around his waist, using their combined weight to come crashing right back down into the ground!

“N is for never ever relenting!”

A cloud of dust rises up where they land, leaving the people of Bikini Bottom, who had been getting commentary from A Talking Fish Head to raise their hands and cheer “Down here in the deep blue sea!”

As the mud clears, two titans kneel before one another, coughing and sputtering, waving the smoke and steam and detritus from in front of them. Plankton blinks, his eye tearing up, but he smiles. “I must admit, Super Mecha Karen,” he begins, “You are one formidable opponent.”

Karen’s face shows that her loading bar goes from 99 to 100, and then she snaps to him and replies. “You’re quite dangerous yourself, Plankton the Destroyer.”

“I don’t know how much longer my potion will keep up. I’ll just be Plankton again in a bit—my reign of terror will be over, and you stopped it.”

“Yes, well, maybe it shouldn’t be about your reign of terror. Maybe it really should be about fun.”

“Fun at the expense of others?” he chuckles. “That’s the best there is.”

Karen nods. “I read an academic report by Sandy Cheeks. She postulates that there’s no act more intimate than facing your dearest one in combat. Her preferred method is Karate.”

Plankton places his hand upon his computer wife’s, clasping her tenderly. He leans in, smiling slightly. “I hear some call it Kar-ah-tay! But I don’t know any moves.”

“That’s fine,” says his wife, grasping his arm. “I’ll show you all forms of martial arts. Hiiiyah!”

With that, Karen whirls around, lifting Plankton over her shoulder and slamming him back into the ground. Another rumbling grumble from the sea follows suit, and Plankton, pulling his face out of the ground, coughs and sputters. “Are we causing geological distress?”

As if in response to the two of them, the ground rumbles some more, the dirt churning up, becoming soft and muddy, making the two begin to sink into the mire.

“Well, when in Rome,” Plankton says, sloshing over to his wife, grabbing her by the head and dunking her into the mud.

Karen whirls around in his grasp, her back to the ground, grappling and kicking him in another throw, sending him splashing into the muck.

He rises out of it, slick and shiny, and tackles her, burying them in the mess they made of the fields outside town.

But as they roll and kick and punch, striking sides and grappling necks, they don’t realize the true horror they’ve awoken.

From the depths of the ground, there launches up something massive, no, not huge, Big!

Its form is so colossal that it is terrifying beyond comprehension. No, there is a word that describes it perfectly. Scary!

And its fleshy form blots out the sky, a tubular thing, veiny and ringed. What could possibly describe such a horror? PINK!

The two fighters stare up at the shadow of the beast, Plankton’s head firmly in Karen’s grip, having gotten him in a choke hold. Her monitor displays a shocked exclamation point as she stares up at the creature before her.

Meanwhile, there is a fish wearing tubes in their nose and a tight bodysuit. They fall to their knees, crying out in rapturous glory. “It’s the Shai Hulud! The ALASKAN BULL WORM!”

“This does not compute!” Karen gasps. “Alaskan Bull Worms aren’t native to this tropical climate!”

“THis is what happens when you take an entire town and you push it somewhere else—the ecology gets all weird!”

The Bull Worm roars, falling down toward the two fighters.

“Honey,” says Plankton, rolling his shoulders. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“A small truce?” says Karen.

“Yes, I think that I, aaah!?”

Karen swipes at Plankton, and he ducks down. “What are you doing!?”

“This fight isn’t over just because we have a new obstacle in the way,” Karen says.

Plankton growls, throwing a punch to her stomach. This sends Karen stumbling back through the mud. As he continues the assault, hitting her stomach over and over and over again, he moves her forward.

This means the Worm does not hit the two directly when it crashes into the muddy ground. Instead, it hits right beside them, splashing tons of mud all over the place. This sends Plankton and Karen flying through the ocean.

“How about this?” Says Plankton. “Whoever lands on the ground first loses?”

“Is that how you want to go out?” says Karen.

“Frankly, a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant would have been lovely enough for me,” shrugs the giant Plankton.

“How very funny,” says Karen, spinning around, striking Plankton in the back of the head. This sends Plankton falling toward the ground further away from the town than the two have ever been.

But that’s when the ground erupts, and from within it, the Alaskan Bull Worm rises up, right to where Plankton was falling.

“Oh, this is gonna hurt,” groans the Destroyer.

Plankton falls, screaming as he approaches the maw of the Alaskan Bull Worm. What mighty feat might this mightily muscled man be able to pull off to prevent himself from finding himself as food for this fiend?

Nothing! He’s in a super-powered freefall. The laws of physics wouldn’t allow it!

So soon, the worm jumps up, the massive creature swallowing the Destroyer.

Or rather, it tried to swallow him.

The Alaskan Bull Worm may itself be big, scary, and pink, but Plankton himself was big, scary, and green, so his massive bulk plugs up the worm’s mouth, the force of his fall halting the movement of the great creature.

The Bull Worm falls, crashing further in than the previous crater. It groans, its mouth plugged up, spit gurgling up inside its mouth.

Inside, Plankton is stuck. He kicks his feet weakly, his rear poking out from the creature’s wide and stuffed mouth.

Karen lands behind him, her hands and feet opening up to exhaust engines that slow her descent. She wags her hand, shaking her monitor.

“Now look at where you are, Sheldon. Your power trip got you trapped. All you had to do was steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula, and you wouldn’t be gagging a monstrous creature of epic proportions.

Having heard her nagging, Plankton responds with something incredibly witty. However, with his head stuck firmly inside the drooling dark maw of the Alaskan Bull Worm, the contents of his message are lost to everyone, even to Karen.

The computer wife sighs, and she grabs onto his ankles. Digging her heels into the ground, she hefts, her robotic muscles groaning and locking up in the strain of pulling her husband.

But with her hefting, the worm slides. Its eyes widened, confusion upon the titan’s face, trying to open its mouth wider to escape from the lock that it has on Plankton—and itself.

Karen hefts, lifting the two up. She does this by spinning her waist, faster and faster, a jet engine of power revving up and spinning the two more and more.

The centrifugal force sends the Alaskan Bull Worm spinning round and round. Inside, Plankton punches at the creature, but soon, he grabs hold and screams as he swirls around, faster and faster, spinning in a wide arch.

And then Karen lets go, shouting, “So long! Eh, Sheldon?”

Sheldon screams as he feels the worm moving at incredible speeds.

The worm screams as it is sent flying by a creature much more powerful than it can possibly imagine.

Squidward screams.

“What is it, Mr. Squidward?” Asks Mr. Krabs, holding a shovel.

Squidward points to the sky, where the pink giant comes flying close to them.

“Worm Hooo!” shouts Mr. Krabs, scuttling as far away as he can, but his and Squidward’s run was so slow. There’s no way the two of them can escape!

That is, of course, if they didn’t have the ingenuity of one Spongebob Squarepants on their side.

Spongebob comes speeding up through the field, driving a high-quality boulder. Well, not just any boulder. For you see, it’s a ROCK—a big beautiful rock!

Spongebob stops right by the two, holding his spatula out toward them. “Come with me if you want to live!” he shouts.

His traveling companions comply, and he puts the petal to the stone. Behind him, the screaming meteor of flesh comes barreling down toward their location.

The worm, and Plankton by proxy, crash into the field, sending dirt and mud roaring and ripping through the fields. This torrent of dirt and rock overwhelms the protectors of the secret formula, overwhelming them, and leaving their fate to be mysterious and tense.

But as for the fate of Plankton the Destroyer? As soon as the warm lands, he is still stuck within its mouth, groaning, dizzy, and quite tired.

But his journey is not yet at an end, for Karen comes rushing in from the sky, performing on the worm an impressive elbow drop. The pressure and the swiftness of this attack blow a ton of water out of the worm’s gullet, shooting Plankton out of it, sending him rolling and tumbling past the field of destruction, splayed out on his back, groaning, his eye swirling around, seeing Krabby Patties swirling around in his head.

Karen approaches, slowly, and she finally steps up to him. Hands on her hips, she presses her boot to Plankton’s chest, staring down at him, nodding.

“It’s over Sheldon. This fight’s over.”

“N… Nooo…” Plankton growls.

“Give it up. This isn’t fun anymore. I’ve shown you everything we’re both capable of. Let the rest of your potion ride its course, and we’ll deal with the side effects later.”

“Side… effects?”

Karen sighs. “Yes, Sheldon. You’re going to hurt—a lot and for months.

“No, I can’t… not after all I’ve accomplished. I need more. More!” He reaches up, grabbing her by the ankle.

“This is pathetic now, Sheldon. Either stay down or…” she forms a fist in one hand, pulling back her arm. From her elbow there emerges a rocket engine “Or I make sure you stay down for a good long while.

“If I take more, I can remain the destroyer!” He groans. “I can keep up my rampage. I could rule this underwater paradise forever—with you!”

“Oh Sheldon,” Karen says, so much disappointment, but love, in her voice. “You always had me, and I always supported you, even in this. I built this body to help you.”

“Y… you did?”

“Yeah,” she says, the rocket powering down, the computer wife reaching down, placing a hand on his forehead. “But because you had to go and be a big fat dummy, now this prototype is going to fall apart soon.”

“Fall apart.”

“That’s right.”

Plankton is silent, but just for a moment. A second later, he squeezes her ankle hard, and he twists.

Losing her balance, Karen falls over, crashing into the ground. Plankton gets up on top of her, wrapping his arms around her neck and pulling. “You know the best part about you being a computer, karen? It’s that I can rip you apart and you’ll be just fine!”

“Plankton the Destroyer has his robotic computer wife, Super Mecha Karen, dead to rights in an impressive choke-hold. No, it’s more like he’s deliberately attempting to rip her computer monitor head clean off! What terrible things are going to happen because of this marital spat? I’m a Talking Fish Head, and we’ll have more news for you as this develops!”

Squidward watches the broadcast on his shell phone, trembling as he sits behind the rock Spongebob used to get him and Mr. Krabs out of the fray. “Oh, it’s too much. We’re doomed, Doomed!”

“Don’t worry, Squidward!” says Spongebob. “It’ll all work out. Just wait and see.”

Mr. Krabs, holding a small treasure chest, scurries up to his employees, nodding. “That’s right, me, boy. Once everything blows over, the disaster relief teams will need to be fed, and who better than the Krusty Krab. Ah-gegegegegege!”

“That’s if there’s a Bikini Bottom left to save!” says Squidward, his phone continuing.

“This just in!” says A Talking Fish Head, “Plankton the Destroyer has succeeded in ripping off the computer monitor head of his wife! Oh, the fishmanity!”

Plankton stands on top of the downed figure of Karen, lifting the wires of her monitor high into the air, beating his chest, and laughing with supreme domination. “That’s right! I’m the strongest being in all of the sea! Cower before my magnificent muscles and worship me as the god that I am. I can never be defeated. I can never lose. I can, huh?”

Karen, headless, grabs Plankton’s ankle and tosses him to the side, sending him crashing into the dirt. She leaps up, patting her shoulders, waving where her missing monitor is. Shrugging she then flexes her muscles, and out from within her body pops out her normal-sized monitor.

“Oh, you did it this time, Plankton. It’s time to finish this once and for all!”

“Oh, really?” Plankton says, pushing himself up. “Looks like I’m going to have to rip apart your super mecha form if I’m going to stop you.”

“You can try, but you aren’t strong enough for that,” She says. “Give it up, and let’s go home.”

“Not strong enough!?” Plankton screams, veins appearing on his head. “Who are you calling not strong enough!? I’m the strongest there is, was, or ever will be! I’m taller than any building here! I’m the scourge of all of the nautical world! You think I’m not strong enough.”

“No, because I will defeat you. I know this now.”

“Well then,” says Plankton, striking a muscle-flexing pose. “I’ll just have to make myself stronger.

“What?”

Suddenly, Plankton flexes harder and harder, veins popping up all over his body as he grunts and groans, growing in size. “Did you forget, My dear Computer Wife,” he begins, his voice deepening, his definition increasing, his mass multiplying. “The brain is a muscle too, and I” 've been working it this whole time, figuring out how to best stimulate the potion within me. And now, it’s come to fruition!”

He grows so tall—taller than her—taller than anything. He hunches over just to see eye to the screen with her, laughing with a deep, maniacal glee.

“Now then, Karen, all I have to do is swat you once, and I win!”

He throws his fist down toward her, but Plankton is so huge that the speed against the water resistance is so slow. His fist crashes downward, sure, but Karen can just step aside, dodging it easily. She leaps up before it strikes the ground, landing on his knuckle, and then rushes over his body.

“Huh!?”

Bewildered, Plankton goes to slap her off his arm, but again, he is much too big to be of any conceivable speed. Instead, Karen rushes along his arm, hops off his shoulder, and grabs him by the antenna.

“Let go of me, computer wife!” he groans. Using her martial artist training, Karen uses his momentum and the leverage she establishes to lift his antenna, pulling and throwing him over her shoulder.

“Noooooooooooo!”

Plankton, the destroyer, crashes against the ground, sending dirt and silt flying all over Bikini Bottom, covering the entire city in a muddy mess.

Karen lands on Plankton, holding her hand out before his face. “You weren’t the only one doing calculations, Sheldon,” she says, and her arm transforms into a cannon. “This fight ends now.”

“Wait, don’t you dare! Karen? Karen!”

When she fires, a beam of energy hits Plankton in the face, and suddenly, all goes white.

* * *

Plankton wakes up, hopping out of bed and wearing his robes. He grabs some coffee and then stands outside, but when he opens the door, a bunch of dirt falls out in front of him.

Sipping his cup, he scratches his head. “Huh… that’s strange.”

Then he blinks, looking at his arm.

“Hey, would you look at that!” he says, seeing how thick and toned it is. He then pulls his robe off, showing off his strong muscles. “I’m a regular Adonis now! Ha! That new workout routine is doing wonders!”

Karen wheels in toward him. “You’re looking good, Sheldon!”

“I know. But… I can’t help but feel I’m forgetting something. Karen, what are we doing today?”

“Same thing we do daily, Sheldon—try to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula.”

Downing the rest of his coffee, Plankton then tosses the mug and rubs his hands together. “Oh, with my new muscles, this can be fun! I wonder if I can make a potion that’ll make them even bigger and, ow!”

Karen slaps Plankton in the back of the head.

“What was that for?”

“No shortcuts, Sheldon!”

Slumping his shoulders, Plankton nods. “Oh, alright. Then To the GYM!”