A Dog in Blue: Dreams
#6 of A Dog in Blue
June 16th, 1969
Dart Records
Travis took the bus home from the hospital and walked three blocks to his regular record store, he wasn't quite ready to face Nathan yet. This had been a weekly ritual of his ever since he had moved into this neighborhood. He always left with bags of new records from all sorts of artists and genres for his collection. The only thing that changed was that Victor wasn't there to listen to them anymore. The German Shepherd felt his eyes water and let out a growl.
This was why he came alone. Coming here after the raid was something he needed to do, because in a sense, it felt like keeping Victor's memory alive. Travis knew he'd think of the black-furred Labrador every time he played a record. He'd always miss the way the younger male's eyes lit up whenever he heard a song he loved. When he danced, Travis took a deep breath, it used to make him feel so excited. Now he only hoped that Nathan liked music and liked to dance. That could make the pain of Victor's death a little more bearable.
"Can I help you find anything Travis?" Veronica, a cute little hazel eyed Mutt asked, "You looking for anything in particular?"
Travis never was. He had six records on him, four from Fur performers and two from humans, that represented all genres of music from country to pop to soul. He looked up at Veronica and gave her a slight smile.
"You got anything new that's high tempo?" Travis asked, "You know rock and roll, something like that."
Veronica chuckled.
"Ever heard of Led Zeppelin?" Veronica asked, "They're this British rock band that just released their first album 5 months or so ago. We just got a new batch of albums in. You want one?"
"Sure," Travis replied, "They any good?"
Veronica shrugged.
"They're okay," Veronica chuckled, "Come on. I'll get it to you when I ring you up."
The white and brown furred Mutt started to ring up the German Shepherd's records. Travis sighed and looked around. Victor used to love coming into this place to scout out records for Travis's collection. They never went in together, but Victor always made sure Travis knew exactly what records he wanted in the collection. The cashier chuckled to herself as she put the Led Zeppelin record into Travis's bag.
"You know," Veronica began, "Someone came in the other day asking about you."
"Oh really?" Travis replied as he pulled out his wallet, "Who was it?"
"Some younger pup," The Mutt replied, "Had black fur, looked dyed to me, but he was nice. He said you were in the hospital and wanted to get you a gift."
Travis raised an eyebrow.
"Oh so like a surprise?" Travis asked, "Something like that?"
"Yeah," Veronica replied, "Something like that."
The Mutt's eyes went wide.
"Oh fuck," She began, "I totally ruined it didn't I."
Travis shrugged and let out the first honest laugh he had since Victor's death. It felt a little strange, but damn good, like it wouldn't be long before life would go on normally.
"Just a little bit," Travis smiled, "He got me something good right?"
The Mutt chuckled.
"What kind of girl do you take me for?" Veronica replied, "Those will be 25 bucks even."
Travis pulled out the cash and handed it to the girl. She shot him a smile and finished the transaction, pushing the bag of records over to the older male Dog. Being a cop, Travis was always good at reading people, so it was fairly obvious to him that Veronica had a crush on him. It was endearing, flattering even, but Travis felt guilty every time he came in that he couldn't tell Veronica the truth. She was a good girl, who deserved an even better man than Travis to make her happy.
"Look, I picked them out," She continued, "You'll like them. I even double checked to make sure they were records you didn't already have."
Travis smiled and took the bag.
"That's why I always come to this record store," Travis began, "Thanks Veronica. It's always nice to come in here. You're always so friendly."
"Come on Travis," Veronica smiled, "You've always helped us out. It's the least I could do for a guy like you."
Travis feigned a smile and walked out of the store. If Veronica only knew the type of guy he really was. He was the kind of guy who made mistakes, who valued the wrong things. As he lay in his hospital bed the last couple of days, he made himself a promise. He promised that from now on, the right people, his community, would come first. If he had to. He'd leave the force, leave the city, leave the country, whatever he had to do to make that happen. The Dog let out a little chuckle. The only thing that mattered to him was that wherever he went had a decent record store.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Travis's Apartment
5 minutes later
Travis walked up the stairs to his apartment with a smile on his face. Whoever was in his apartment, probably Nathan, was listening to something soft and slow. As he got closer, the quiet notes of Frank Sinatra's voice slid through the cracks of his closed door. This must have been one of the new albums that Nathan had bought him. From what he had gathered at the record store, the Cattle Dog had dyed his fur black. Travis was nervous, but sure that Nathan would be nearly impossible to identify.
He unlocked his door and stepped in. The first thing he saw was the Rottweiler that had been taken in by the police laying shirtless on his couch. The attractive male looked up at Travis and smiled.
"Hey Travis," The Rottweiler chuckled, "Nathan isn't here yet. He's buying groceries for dinner. I think we're having steaks."
Travis nodded and hung his coat up.
"That doesn't explain who you are," The German Shepherd sighed, "Or how you know my name."
"Nathan said you were coming," The other dog replied, "I'm Rueben by the way. Rueben Schroder."
"Travis Parker," Travis began, "What are you doing here?"
"Well," The Rottweiler sighed, "It's kind of a long story."
Travis whined and sat down. He just had a feeling this story had something to do with the raid. It took him a couple of sleepless nights in the hospital, but he was finally able to rationalize and deal with what had happened that night. Hearing a story like this would only cause his guilt to resurface, and give him more bad dreams and anxious feelings.
"My parents kicked me out," Rueben sighed, "They found out I got arrested at the Plaza and well, didn't want anything to do with me. After the raid well, it seems like everyone knows. My picture was in the paper."
Rueben looked down and started to tear up.
"I'm, well, allergic to fur dye," Rueben continued, "Humans wouldn't rent to me before, and now even my own kind won't."
Travis sighed and stood up to put a paw on the young Dog's shoulder. This was something he could help with. It felt refreshing to be helpful in the gay community. Most days the German Shepherd was just a smiling uniform, equally a face of help and oppression to the members of his community, but today he could be much more than that. An older voice of reason and wisdom to this young and victimized gay male.
"Well," Travis began, "I'm sure you can find something. We're a community. I'm sure there's some older well off Fur who would love to have you help out around the house."
Rueben smirked.
"Like Nathan does for you?" The Rottweiler asked, "I suppose it's more than that though."
Travis scoffed. Dealing with questions like this was the last thing he wanted to do on his first day home. He wanted to help, but he was going to have to have a long talk with Nathan about having guests like this. It was one thing to have the Cattle Dog spending so much time over here, but having men in and out of his apartment all day would start to put unwanted scrutiny on Travis's day to day life.
"First off, I'm not old," Travis began, "And second, I fail to see how it's any of your business."
The Rottweiler put up his paws and walked into the kitchen. It was clear he wasn't much into confrontation. The Cop grumbled as he caught himself looking at the Rottweiler's perfect ass as he thought about the situation. Travis was in the awkward situation of needing to release without having the drive or mindset to do anything about it. Behind him, the door opened and a mostly black furred Dog walked in. His eyes went wide as he saw Travis and he slammed the door behind him.
"Travis!" Nathan gasped, "I'm so happy you're back."
The Dog ran forward and hugged him. Travis chuckled and returned the embrace. Nathan looked surprisingly good with black fur, it made his blue eyes seem even more luxurious. He was wearing more clothes than the German Shepherd was accustomed too, he actually had sleeves. The Cattle Dog tutted and gently teased the fur around Travis's injuries.
"God it looks so bad," Nathan whined, "Was it painful?"
Travis shied away from Nathan's lips and looked down at the floor. He was never a fan of being affectionate in front of other people, even if they were gay. The German Shepherd thought it was a holdout from his awkward high school experimentations with other guys. Secrecy was just as important now as it was then, so even if it was inconvenient it was a very necessary condition to meet.
"N-not in front of him," Travis said quietly, "I really don't like that."
Nathan blinked.
"Hey it's alright," The younger male gave Travis a soft nuzzle, "He's gay. He doesn't mind."
The German Shepherd drew away from the nuzzle.
"I do," Travis said firmly, "Especially now."
Rueben poked his head out from the kitchen.
"I could take a walk if you want Nathan," Rueben interjected, "Do you guys need anything?"
Nathan thought for a moment.
"Yes actually," Nathan began, "Could you pick up some eggs and bacon? We need stuff for breakfast tomorrow."
Rueben nodded and walked out into the living room to redress. He lingered for a moment, shot the German Shepherd a smile, and then walked out the door without a word. Travis let out a sigh and gave Nathan another hug.
"Why was he on my couch?" Travis asked, "Couldn't you have stashed him at your place?"
Nathan sighed and nuzzled into his taller boyfriend's chest.
"I was actually going to talk to you about that," Nathan replied, "I don't have a place anymore."
Travis gasped and looked down at the Cattle Dog.
"Once I got the fur dyed Amanda started to have some questions," Nathan continued, "She figured it out and basically told me to leave or she'd call the cops."
"Fuck," Travis frowned, "So what does that mean? What did you do?"
"Well I got a real job," Nathan replied, "I'm working at that Fur clothes store a few blocks up from here and well, I was hoping I could be your roommate. You know, help you with the rent and all that instead of working for you."
Travis nodded.
"That shouldn't be a problem," Travis began, "I technically live in a two bedroom apartment. So the landlord really wouldn't think twice about adding a second name on the lease."
Nathan breathed a sigh of relief and planted a couple of kisses on Travis's lips.
"I know the Rueben thing is a big inconvenience," Nathan began, "But there's people thinking about taking him in. He's well liked, sought after. I'm sure he'll be in his new place by tomorrow."
The German Shepherd returned the kiss and let out a quiet whine. It felt good to be close to another male like this, even if he knew he didn't deserve to be. Nathan let out a quiet whine as well.
"I was so worried about you," Nathan continued, "I didn't know when you'd be home. Didn't know if you were okay."
He pulled back and wiped his eyes.
"How are you holding up?" Nathan asked, "I haven't asked yet and I feel horrible."
Travis nodded.
"Well I can finally sleep through the night," Travis chuckled, "Although seeing that kid again might make things a little bit difficult."
The Cattle Dog rubbed over his boyfriend's chest, gently putting his paws under the German Shepherd's fur to tend to the fur underneath. Travis let out a contented sigh and nearly melted under Nathan's paws. He hadn't been touched like this in too long.
"Well I'll be here," Nathan replied, "I'll stay up all night with you if that's what you need. I owe you so much more than that."
"You don't owe me a damn thing," Travis smirked, "Just keep being you."
Travis kissed the top of the other Dog's forehead.
"That's all I want," Travis continued, "I swear."
Nathan smiled and lifted his bright blue eyes. Travis immediately felt weak in the knees, and wanted nothing more than to smother that perfect muzzle with kisses. The Cattle Dog must have picked up on this and gave the German Shepherd a knowing smirk.
"I can only imagine how pent up you must be," Nathan's voice trailed off as he rubbed lower and into Travis's belly fur, "I know I am. I had that horny fucking Rottweiler grinding up on me for two nights."
"He slept with you," Travis groaned, "In my bed?"
Nathan backed away from the German Shepherd and paced for a few steps. He turned back and let out a quiet whine.
"I couldn't kick him out on the couch," Nathan sighed, "He was so just beaten Travis. He needed someone. Besides, don't be jealous. Nothing happened."
Travis chuckled and closed the gap between him and Nathan. He embraced the Cattle Dog again and kissed him tenderly on the lips.
"I know nothing happened," Travis began, "I just don't like the thought of anyone but you in that bed."
Nathan smiled and blushed.
"I like the sound of that," Nathan replied, "I like the sound of that a lot."
The German Shepherd moved his paws down to Nathan's rump.
"Speaking of beds," Travis said as he started to knead the Dog's rump, "Why don't we go to it?"
Nathan chuckled nervously.
"Well it doesn't have sheets right now," The Cattle Dog replied, "Rueben may have urm, released during the night, they're in the wash now."
"Alright," Travis smirked, "Tonight then."
"Tonight," Nathan replied, "Sounds good to me."
Nathan broke away and walked into the kitchen. The German Shepherd watched him as he did. Slowly but surely he was starting to feel comfortable again. For a moment, he was almost able to unburden himself of his worries and enjoy his home. Until Nathan looked up and into Travis's eyes.
"There's a vigil for Victor and Kirk tomorrow night," The Cattle Dog said softly, "I want you to go."
Travis froze and immediately started to replay the events of the raid in his head. He trembled and sat down, fearing his legs would give out from under him. Nathan let out a whine and started to mix Travis a stiff drink, a double Manhattan.
"I can't go to that," Travis whimpered, "I killed Kirk, and I might as well have killed Victor."
Nathan walked over with the drink and whined. It was made wrong. Manhattan's were not supposed to be foamy, but Travis didn't mind. Booze was booze, and once it was past the muzzle it all did the same thing.
"Sorry," The younger male whined, "All I had was cheap bourbon. I hope it's okay."
Travis took a sip and nodded. The bitter beverage warmed his core and soothed his wild and roaming mind. He breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed, leaning back into the green couch cushion.
"A little foam never hurt anybody," Travis took another sip, "It's good Nathan."
Nathan put his paw on Travis's and squeezed it firmly.
"They all understand baby," Nathan began, "Besides, won't you go for Victor? You two were so close."
"That's a great idea," Travis growled, "That way Anthony and whoever Kirk dated get a chance to look at their lover's killer in the eye. There's no way in hell I can go."
Nathan nodded and took a deep breath.
"Won't you sleep on it?" Nathan asked, "For me. I really think it'll help you."
Travis sighed and put an arm around his boyfriend. He was pretty sure his mind was made up, but being stubborn and argumentative with the Cattle Dog wasn't going to do anything but make him feel crummier.
"I'll think about it," He sighed again, "For you."
Nathan rubbed over his boyfriend's arm.
"Why don't you get some sleep now?" Nathan asked, "You look exhausted."
Travis blinked. He actually was tired. Walking around town today was the first real activity he had done in a while. He nodded and layed down on the couch, closing his eyes.
"I can wake you when the sheets are done," Nathan smirked, "I don't want you to get a crick in your neck."
"Nah," Travis replied, his eyes still closed, "Just let me sleep. I'll be in there eventually."
Nathan smiled and got up from the couch.
"Okay," The Cattle Dog chuckled, "Sweet dreams darling."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Travis sighed in bed and stared at the ceiling. It was late, but not late enough for Nathan to be in bed. The younger male was dressing and getting ready to go to the vigil. Rueben was nowhere to be found, which made the German Shepherd ecstatic. Maybe he had the house to him and Nathan again, which meant that things were almost back to normal.
"Travis," Nathan asked softly, "Are you awake?"
"Yes," Travis sat up, "What is it hon?"
The Cattle Dog poked his head in.
"Come with me," He began, "Please, I can't go to this thing alone."
Travis grumbled and got back into bed.
"I've told you how I feel about this," The German Shepherd replied, "Just go. Tell me how it was when you get back."
Nathan whined quietly.
"Please," Nathan was nearly crying now, "I need to go but I'm too much of a weakling."
"What?" Travis's ears perked up, "No you're not."
"I don't like death," Nathan whimpered, "The only reason I made it through Martin is because you were there to help. Please, if you won't do it for Victor. Do it for me."
Travis sighed and looked up at the Cattle Dog. His head was hung and a series of tears fell from his eyes. The German Shepherd was certain of one thing from the moment he saw Nathan. He never wanted to be the cause of any tears in his eyes. The younger male rubbed his arm and whined.
"Help me be there for my friends," Nathan continued, "I can't do it without you."
Travis growled and got out of bed.
"Fine," He replied, "But if anyone says anything I don't like I'm coming straight home."
"They won't," Nathan walked forward and hugged his boyfriend, "If they do they'll have to deal with me."
Travis smiled and kissed the Cattle Dog on the forehead. Nathan may have meant what he said in the police car the night of the raid. Those three words were something that Travis had never said to anyone with the exception of family. Maybe, if things kept going well, Nathan would be a first.
"Wait for me out there," The German Shepherd began, "I do need to get dressed."
Nathan nodded.
"I'll be right outside," He smiled, "Thank you so much Travis."
"Don't mention it babe," Travis pat the Dog on the shoulder, "I'll be quick."
In what felt like no time at all, Travis found himself walking down the sidewalk with Nathan. The streets were mostly deserted, save for a crowd of people making their way into the Crimson Plaza. Travis froze and started to tremble. There was no way he was going to be able to do this. Nathan stopped as well and gave the German Shepherd's arm a squeeze. There were no prying eyes, but Travis still backed away.
"Come on," Nathan began, "You can do this."
Travis looked around and yelped as a police car rounded the corner a couple blocks down the street. It didn't go to the Plaza, and turned off a block before it.
"No," Travis whispered, "I can't go in there."
"The cops don't know Travis," The Cattle Dog began, "Come on. We don't want to be late."
Travis took a deep breath and froze in front of the door. As he reached for it, the door opened outward. The German Shepherd and the Cattle Dog took a step back as a procession of Furs, some of them bloodied, marched out of the bar followed by at least 20 policeman. James and August led the cops out with wicked smiles on their faces.
"Travis," James chuckled, "Thanks for helping us again."
"You've definitely got another commendation coming your way," August piped in, "This is even bigger than the raid."
The German Shepherd shrank away as the crowd of gay furs, his entire community, glared at him. He stammered unintelligibly, his eyes wide with fear and shame. He didn't do this. He couldn't have. The hate in their eyes was unlike any he had ever experienced, even when he arrested some Fur for something any human would have gotten away with. Travis whimpered. If they were so mad, it had to have been him. He had put his work before his community again.
"It's okay to be overwhelmed," August continued, "I can only imagine how excited you must be. Hell, you could be on track to being the first ever Fur police chief. Isn't that exciting?"
James nodded.
"I have to agree," The Human added, "If anyone could do it. It would be you."
August turned to look at Nathan.
"Hey James," August growled, "Doesn't he look a little odd to you?"
James shrugged.
"Just a black-furred Dog," James began, "Nothing weird there. Dogs come in all colors"
August walked forward, his paw resting over the revolver on his hip. Nathan shrank away with a whine and took a couple of steps back from the predatorily advancing Fox. August quickly closed the gap and held Nathan's muzzle, looking into the Cattle Dog's eyes.
"I know where I've seen these eyes before," August let out a dark chuckle, "We've met. Haven't we Nathan?"
Nathan whined and looked down. The Fox growled and wrenched the Dog's muzzle back up.
"Oh no," August continued, "Why did you dye your fur? I've always loved the patterns on Cattle Dogs."
James's eyes went wide.
"Travis?" James began, "Didn't you say you were attacked by a Cattle Dog? He fits the bill perfectly. He's the right size and everything."
Travis stammered again. This couldn't be happening. He worked so hard to keep Nathan safe, to keep him hidden from August and the other cops. Now all of his work was going to be unravelled in one terrible night. The Fox let out a sinister growl and traced his claws over the Dog's trembling throat.
"I think I'm going to make this one pay for what he did," August chuckled, "We've got plenty of time, and Chief Hickling won't mind another bloodied up queer in his jail cells. Hell, I bet he'd even join in."
Nathan whimpered in fear and broke away, his paws grabbing his boyfriend's jacket. The cops and the gays shared a collective gasp as August and James pulled out their firearms. Travis put up his paws, silently pleading for his colleagues to lower their weapons.
"Step away from him Nathan," August began, "Or I will put you down. I won't let you assault another police officer."
Nathan looked up into Travis's eyes and whined, tears flowing freely down his cheeks and muzzle. Travis couldn't speak, his arms glued firmly to his side. He wanted to vomit or run, but did neither and stood his ground. Running wouldn't do either of them any good now.
"Don't let them hurt me," Nathan pleaded, "I don't want to die."
"Final warning," James said firmly, "Step away."
Travis took a step back and to the side, causing Nathan to lose his balance and fall forward. He reached out and grabbed the German Shepherd's jacket again in an attempt to steady himself. August fired his weapon and shattered the air around the crowd. The German Shepherd nearly caught the younger male as the bullet entered the back of his head. Time outside of the two males seemed to freeze as Travis pulled Nathan's lifeless body to his chest.
"N-Nathan?" Travis managed to whimper, "Nathan?"
Blood dripped down the back of Nathan's neck and onto the German Shepherd's paw. Travis looked down and caressed his lover's cheek, closing the Cattle Dog's blue eyes for the last time. He turned and looked up at James and August.
He screamed.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
June 20th,1969
2 AM at Travis's Apartment
Nathan sat up in bed as the German Shepherd screamed in his sleep. Travis reached over and hurled the lamp on the bedside table against the wall. It shattered, making the Dog scream even louder. The Cattle Dog started to shake Travis, hard, trying desperately to wake him up. The German Shepherd continued to fight, striking his boyfriend across the muzzle with the wild and violent motions of his arms.
"Travis!" Nathan called out, "Travis wake up! It's okay."
After a few more moments of shaking, Travis stopped screaming and opened his eyes. The German Shepherd trembled and immediately broke down crying, his body heaving with the force of his sobs. He clutched Nathan tight to his chest like a pup would clutch his favorite teddy bear.
"Baby?" Nathan asked softly, "What happened? Did you have a nightmare?"
Travis nodded.
"You can't go to the vigil," Travis said in between his sobs, "I won't let you go."
Nathan paused and tenderly nuzzled into the German Shepherd's chest. He shushed the older male and managed to get a paw free to softly stroke the fur between Travis's erect ears. It took a few moments, but the German Shepherd's sobs finally subsided into soft sniffles and whimpers. Nathan looked up at his boyfriend and kissed the bottom of his chin.
"Travis," Nathan began, "It was just a dream."
Travis shook his head and held the younger male even tighter.
"You died," The German Shepherd whimpered, "The cops were there and they killed you. Right in front of me. I closed your eyes and everything."
Nathan let out a soft sigh.
"Why would they come to something like that?" Nathan asked, "The bar is closed anyways. The owner is just giving us the space to do the vigil. The cops aren't going to raid a closed bar."
Travis whimpered and trembled like a pup. He looked down and buried his face into Nathan's chest. The Cattle Dog let out a grunt as he was manhandled into a spooning position and held tight.
"Travis," Nathan said softly, "Please. Can't we talk about this?"
"No," Travis replied sharply, "I'm holding you here all night if I have to."
Rueben poked his head in and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, He knocked on the doorframe politely and poked his head around the corner.
"Is everything okay in here?" Rueben asked, "I heard screaming."
"Yeah it is," Nathan replied, "Go back to sleep. I've got this."
A drop of blood from Nathan's nose fell onto Travis's paw, making the older male gasp and squeeze the Cattle Dog even tighter. Rueben nodded and turned around, closing the door behind him. Tears started to flow freely from Travis's eyes, falling and dampening the back of Nathan's head and neck.
"Baby," Nathan looked back at the German Shepherd, "I need you to calm down okay? Take some deep breaths."
"But you're hurt for real," Travis whimpered, "What if I relax and it happens again?"
Nathan chuckled and tenderly rubbed over Travis's paw, entwining his fingers with the German Shepherd's.
"You're acting like a pup Travis," Nathan replied, "Just take some deep breaths and tell me what happened."
Travis did as he was told and took a couple of powerful deep breaths, jostling the smaller Dog as he did so. Nathan rolled onto his back and pressed his side into the German Shepherd's chest. Once Travis was calm, Nathan put a gentle paw on Travis's muzzle and started to softly pet the fur there.
"Now tell me about your dream," Nathan began, "All of it."
The German Shepherd took another deep breath and told Nathan the entirety of his dream. The Cattle Dog remained silent, but continued to softly stroke the German Shepherd's muzzle. Travis shuddered once he finished and nuzzled into Nathan's loving touch with a soft whine.
"It felt so real," Travis whimpered, "It was like you really died."
Nathan paused for a moment and moved away from the older male.
"Where did they shoot me?" Nathan asked, "Show me baby."
Travis leaned over the younger Dog and put his paw behind Nathan's head.
"Right here," Travis replied, "Right where my paw is."
Nathan nodded.
"Feels okay to me," The younger Dog smiled, "Does it feel okay to you?"
Travis nodded sheepishly.
"It was just a dream," The German Shepherd sighed, "Wasn't I on the couch?"
"Yeah," Nathan replied, "Rueben and I lifted you in here. You slept like a rock."
He shook his head and chuckled
"Just kiss me Travis," Nathan continued, "Take your mind off this. I'm fine, I'm alive, and I'm here for you."
Travis chuckled quietly and brought his lips down to the Australian Cattle Dog's. It was a slow and tender kiss, one where the two normally amorous males's tongues stayed content to lazily flick against one another as lips melded together. Nathan whimpered as Travis pulled away to look down at his boyfriend.
"See," Nathan smiled, "I'm okay."
"I guess you are," Travis sighed, "I'm so sorry for acting so stupid. It's just been hard."
"I know it has," The Cattle Dog replied, "I understand. I used to have bad nightmares too."
"About what?" Travis asked, "Your past?"
"Yeah," Nathan replied, "So don't worry. If it happens again you'll be in good paws. I know how to fix them."
"How did you do that?" The cop asked, "I could use something like that."
"I had them until I met you," Nathan smiled wide and nudged the older male, "I just imagined you keeping the nightmares at bay. I sleep like a baby now."
Nathan chuckled.
"I know I'm not a big, tough guy like you," The Cattle Dog continued, "But maybe it'll help to think of me, like this, with you."
Travis nodded, something like that should work. Imagining a protector before he went to bed always helped him when he was a pup.
"Think you can go back to sleep?" Nathan asked, "You probably need it."
The German Shepherd shook his head.
"I think I just want to watch over you for a bit if that's okay," Travis said with a sigh, "It usually calms me down."
Nathan nuzzled into the bigger Dog's chest and let out a quiet murr as Travis draped an arm around him. He closed his eyes and yawned cutely.
"Good night Travis," Nathan yawned again, "Just wake me if you need me."
Travis nodded and slowly pulled the blankets up over the Cattle Dog's shoulder. It didn't take Nathan long to fall back asleep. Travis lost himself in the soft breaths and slow beats of his lover's heart. He found himself thinking about what Nathan had said in the squad car. It may be early in the relationship, but there was no harm in trying those words on for size. He bent his head down to kiss the Cattle Dog on the forehead.
"I love you Nathan," Travis began, "I love you so much."
Nathan didn't stir, but smiled.