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LATER THAT NIGHT, AFTER METTATON WAS ARRESTED...

"Alright, so...this is my Lab. This is where I work every day. It's awfully neat, don't you think?" Alphys monotoned exhaustedly, her eyes beginning to droop and sag from how incredibly tired she was already starting to become as she weakly held her arm up and pointed at the massive monolith of a building that literally anyone with working eyes could easily see right behind her.

"Maybe we should show her parents where WE werk off every day!" Undyne snickered, causing both her and Papyrus to break into a fit of giggling like childish little schoolgirls.

ABOUT A MINUTE LATER, DOWN IN THE TRUE LAB...

"This is Lemon Bread's mouth." Alphys sighed as she stood barefooted atop the horrifying beast's tongue (which was basically made of slimy Cthulhu tentacles) and scrubbed it with a Swiffer mop. "As you can see, it's clearly a lot bigger on the inside than it is on the outside."

"Obviously, this is an extremely disgusting job, but of course SOMEONE still has to do it!" Alphys groaned miserably as she leapt straight up into the air and clung tightly onto Lemon Bread's uvula with her claws while scrubbing it rigorously with a weapons-grade kitchen sponge, causing Lemon Bread to puke up god-knows-what all over everyone in the general vicinity (including Alphys, of course).

"Do you perhaps understand at least a LITTLE more about the actual reasoning behind me wanting to kill myself now, or am I just going to have to come over there and slap some sense into your stupid heads myself? With a bat full of nails and a bottle full of whiskey, preferably?" Alphys sneered coldly on her abusive alcoholic parents' behalf as she got out a massive toothbrush and began scrubbing the slimy, eldritch gunk off of Lemon Bread's teeth with it.

ABOUT ANOTHER MINUTE LATER, BACK AT THE ENTRANCE TO ALPHYS' LAB...

"Alright, guys, it's been probably the single craziest day of my entire life so far, and therefore, I'd say it's about time I went to bed. See you guys tomorrow morning, okay? Oh, and PLEASE don't bother me while I'm sleeping; believe me, I WILL bite your freaking heads off!" Alphys growled threateningly and crankily at Papyrus and Undyne as she closed the door and went upstairs to grab her cube...bed...thing, whatever the hell it is, I dunno, ask someone else.

Once she had finally carried said cube-thing downstairs, molecularly rearranged it into its bed form and placed it in the huge empty space between her desk and the back door, Alphys quickly went back upstairs, messaged Toriel on her phone, and waited eagerly for her arrival.

Meanwhile, Undyne and Papyrus were up to no good, as always. Hiding in the trash can right next to Alphys' desk, with a very conveniently placed diameter-wide peephole punctured right through it by one of Undyne's famous energy spears for good measure, they were both squirming with excitement at the mere thought of what incredibly kinky debauchery they were about to witness.

"Do you really think she'll do it TONIGHT of all nights?" Papyrus whispered curiously as he and Undyne sat together in Alphys' disproportionately large and empty trash can, which was currently being illuminated by the brightly glowing blue light generated by Undyne's spear.

"Of COURSE she will! It's like CLOCKWORK!" Undyne snickered, pointing the camera toward herself and preparing her audience for one seriously wild and extreme fetishistic ride.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to witness one of the seven wonders of the world!" Undyne whispered melodramatically to her audience, trying desperately to keep a straight face.

"At about 11:30, eastern standard time, through THIS makeshift peephole in the trash can that we're both hiding inside of as we speak, our buddy Alphys will descend the escalator as she does every night for a glass of warm and delicious GOAT milk!" Undyne whispered nervously, trying not to bust out laughing as Toriel entered the lab and immediately threw literally all of her clothes off as she nonchalantly walked over to Alphys' bed and laid herself atop it.

"And she isn't exactly dressed for the OCCASION, if you know what I mean!" Papyrus whispered embarrassedly, winking at the audience and grinning even less subtly than he normally did.

"Y-yup! You heard right! She's completely...NAAAKEEEEEED!" Undyne crooned in delight, grinning from ear to ear in an incredibly creepy and disturbing fashion that somehow managed to show literally all of her vicious, razor-sharp teeth while her eyes went bloodshot with anticipation.

"WITH NO CLOTHES ON!" Papyrus squeed loudly as his eyes suddenly began glistening like the starry sky itself with excitement; luckily, the air conditioner in Alphys' lab was somehow so freaking loud that it managed to literally drown out every single thing that the two of them were saying.

Sure enough, Alphys still had Careless Whisper firmly stuck in her head and was therefore whistling the intro to it on her way down the escalator, her boobs and chest jiggling adorably with each step as she walked over to the bed and joined Toriel on top of it, immediately snuggling and french-kissing her.

"OH, TORIEL, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU'VE LIT UP MY LIFE TODAY!" Alphys moaned with delight as she whipped out her girl-dick and gently rammed it up Toriel's vagina, her moans becoming progressively louder and more intense with each thrust.

"OHHH, I FEEL LIKE I'VE LITERALLY DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN..." Alphys moaned happily as Toriel did the exact same thing with her, only with a much bigger dick and a much smaller vag.

"MY GOODNESS, IT'S EVERY BIT AS SWEET AND DELICIOUS AS MY SIGNATURE BUTTERSCOTCH-CINNAMON CREAM PIE..." Toriel moaned as Alphys dug her face deeply into her vagina and licked her own cum out of it, also making sure to tongue the goatmom's clitoris in the process.

"MURR..." Toriel murred and drooled in arousal as Alphys reached all the way into her birth canal with her incredibly long, moist, dripping and dextrous tongue, teasing over its sweetest spot as she began sweating and blushing hotly and intensely.

"YEAH, SHOW ME WHAT THAT BEAUTIFUL LIZARD TONGUE OF YOURS IS REALLY GOOD FOR!" Toriel panted and moaned orgasmically as her vagina quaked and gushed out at least half a cup of gooey, sticky girl-cum all over Alphys' adorable face.

"HAAHHHH..." Alphys moaned with pleasure as she retracted her mouth from the site of Toriel's orgasm and proudly displayed the copious amounts of cum dripping from her teeth and tongue before finally licking her lips and swallowing every last drop of it.

"OH, YOU NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY GIRL, YOU!" Alphys laughed as Toriel did the exact same thing with her. "OOH...AHHHH...OHHHHHHH!" she moaned as she filled Toriel's gut with her love.

"COME ON, BABY, PLEASURE ME MORE, PLEASURE ME MORE!" Toriel moaned ecstatically as she whipped out her already firmly-erect girl-cock and placed it lovingly in-between Alphys' plump, juicy nerd tits so that the lizard could give her both a boobjob and a blowjob simultaneously.

"UM...ALPHYS? ARE YOU...LIKE...ALL THERE IN THE HEAD RIGHT NOW?" Toriel asked Alphys worriedly as the poor mentally tormented lizard girl began lovingly sucking her dick.

"YESSS?!" Alphys giggled playfully as she dug her big dorky teeth into the soft, fleshy and veiny surface of Toriel's rock-hard cock, squeezing her boobs together and jerking Toriel off with them just for added effect.

"JESUS CHRIST, ALPHYS, I'M GOING TO CUM IN, LIKE, LITERALLY FIVE SECONDS IF YOU KEEP THAT UP...FIVE...OOH...FOUR...OH, YES...THREE...MMMMMM...TWO...OHH...AHHHHHHHHH!" Toriel moaned as her dick spasmed and blasted out another half a cup of semen all over Alphys' face.

"OH, AND HOW COULD WE POSSIBLY FORGET THE FOOTJOBS?!" Alphys laughed maniacally as she eagerly curled her long, pointy and flexible lizard toes right around the outer rim of Toriel's still-rock-solid shaft, stroking it up and down savagely while Toriel did the exact same to her.

"OH, SWEET HEAVENS, IT'S LITERALLY OUR LIFELONG DREAM COME TRUE!" Alphys and Toriel squeed with orgasmic delight as they gleefully licked the cum off of each other's smooth sexy soles, prompting Alphys to then sneak up behind Toriel and start massaging her breasts.

"OHH...OHHH, YESSSS..." Toriel moaned with pleasure as Alphys kneaded her rough, scaly lizard fingers into her soft, fluffy tits and squeezed them like pornographic squeaky toys.

"I'm well aware that I have a superb titty-rubbing technique." Alphys sighed nervously, blushing and sweating intensely as she gently but passionately stroked Toriel's nipples. "However, I'm afraid that your titties just don't quite rate!"

"How SOOO?" Toriel moaned unexpectedly with orgasmic pleasure as her nipples squirted out large amounts of milk from how much Alphys had just stimulated them with her hands.

"Well, you're incredibly flat-chested, for one thing!" Alphys explained to her, noting how in reality, Toriel actually had rather diminutive and somewhat unattractively flat breasts.

"Well, I suppose my titties ARE a bit on the small side, but as my husband Asgore used to always say, more than a mouthful is a waste anyway, am I right?" Toriel laughed awkwardly.

"Not as much of a waste as THIS is of my freaking BLOOD, but you know what? I'm totally going to do it anyway!" Alphys laughed maniacally as she climbed up onto Toriel's head and shoved both of the goatmom's sharp, pointy goat horns (one after the other) directly into her va-jay-jay.

"OH, IT HURTS SO MUCH...YEAH, BITCH, HURT ME MORE...HURT ME MORRRE...HURT ME MORRRRRRE!" Alphys screamed with orgasmic pleasure yet again as bloody cum gushed out from her vagina, prompting her to then the lather the stuff all over her entire body.

Meanwhile over in New Home, Asgore was being forced against his will by Flowey to watch the madness between Alphys and Toriel unfold on public television (which Undyne had somehow linked directly to the video camera and each of its recordings, just for good measure's sake).

"So, what do you have to say for herself NOW, father?" Flowey snidely jeered at and spat on his own father, who was now tied up in vines and gagged with duct tape, as he dug his way through Asgore's nose with his vines and then proceeded to implant them very deeply into his brain.

"OH, MAN, I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN BREATHE RIGHT NOW...I WANT TO FREAKING DIE SO GODDAMNED BADLY..." Asgore moaned in arousal, literally unable to close his eyes while Flowey magically shrunk himself, traveled directly up Asgore's nose and ended up literally inside of his brain yet again, as if the previous occurrence with Alphys wasn't already enough.

"Hmm, it's actually quite a lot bigger than I thought!" Flowey thought to himself smugly as he eagerly contemplated all of the different ways that he would be able to strip his own father naked, make him painfully f#%& himself with a cactus, and then jerk off furiously to it.

"So, umm...seeing as how you just slipped inside my head and all, what happens if I...uh...disobey you, so to speak?" Asgore communicated to Asriel through his internal thoughts.

"Why, I'm going to bring out my giant thorn vines and plant a whole network of them right here in this squishy little sponge you call a brain, causing untold damage in here until you're nothing but a freaking vegetable. I take it I have your attention!" Asriel laughed while Asgore sobbed and cried in defeat.

"Ooh, look, what have we here? Looks like ASGORE'S PRECIOUS MEMORY BANKS! Oh, and guess what the very first and foremost front-page subject is? PHOTOS AND VIDEOS GALORE OF YOU AND TORIEL HAVING SEX WITH EACH OTHER, JUST LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS! I sure hope that you at least enjoy the thought of me furiously MASTURBATING to them if nothing else!" Flowey laughed sadistically as he transformed back into Asriel and began fapping rigorously to the massive cornucopia of family-related porn that was now available to him, while Asgore pulled a revolver out from the bedside table and pointed its firing end intently into the side of his head...or at least he would have, if he wasn't all tied up and completely helpless.

THE NEXT MORNING, IN THE LOCAL VIDEO STORE AT MTT RESORT IN HOTLAND...

"Like, GREETINGS, loyal customer-dudes! What, like, totally RADICAL things have you brought us THIS time, may I ask?" Royal Guard 1 asked Undyne and Papyrus as they walked right in through the front door and plopped their video camera right down onto the counter, with Alphys in tow.

"Something intellectually stimulating and sexually arousing, I presume? You know how much I LOVE that type of stuff..." Royal Guard 2 whispered slyly into Undyne's ear, flickering his tongue for emphasis.

"Oh, but of COURSE!" Papyrus laughed heartily, walking behind the counter without permission and wrapping his arms around both of the Royal Guards. "Only the BEST for our stalwart warrior friends!"

"Gee, how incredibly flattering..." Royal Guard 2 sighed and blushed awkwardly.

"So, uhh...anyway, what type of stuff are you allowed to do with the video submissions here?" Undyne asked Royal Guard 1 curiously, with numerous dirty thoughts already swimming through her head.

"Oh, that's simple! We just, like, take all of your clips and painstakingly, like, mix them all together into one of the most, like, totally FABULOUS things you'll ever see!" Royal Guard 1 laughed triumphantly, patting Undyne on the back and nodding his head in approval.

"OOH, OOH! Does it also feature goofy sound effects, over-the-top porn music and comically pretentious lyrics as well?" Papyrus asked giddily, raising his hand and jumping up and down like a schoolkid.

"With, like, totally whipped NICE CREAM on top!" both of the Royal Guards laughed, waving their arms up in the air flamboyantly as Undyne and Papyrus began digging into their wallets.

"That'll be twenty dollars and fifteen cents worth of gold, please!" Royal Guard 2 informed them as Undyne pulled 2015 gold from her wallet and handed it over to him while Papyrus suddenly remembered at just about the worst possible moment that he wasn't actually carrying a wallet at the moment.

"Um...guys? Are you SURE that this music video of yours is going to be...how do I say this...something my PARENTS would REALLY want to see?" Alphys poked her head up over the countertop and stammered nervously, hoping very dearly that Undyne and Papyrus hadn't been spying on the one-night stand that she had just had with Toriel the night before.

"Oh, it'll be, like, totally FABULOUS!" Royal Guard 1 laughed, swinging his hand down like a caf paw.

"TUBULAR!" Royal Guard 2 chuckled, wrapping his arm gently around Royal Guard 1 and patting him on the shoulder, remembering how these were all words that they had used to describe their current lives as gay porn stars.

"DELIGHTFUL!" Royal Guard 1 crooned excitedly, putting his hands over his cheeks and vibrating intensely with eager anticipation of what he and his brother were about to make together.

"And most importantly of all, INSIGHTFUL!" Royal Guard 2 pointed out, patting Alphys on the head reassuringly as the two of them waved their hands as if saying goodbye to their new customers.

"Yeah, uh...I don't KNOW..." Alphys trembled nervously, drumming her fingers together in dreadful anticipation of what these two were obviously going to end up making of her; a totally blatant porn film, through and through. (She WAS arguably the hottest character in the game, after all.)

"Oh, don't worry about it, little man, there's always room for second takes!" Royal Guard 1 laughed and giggled nervously, patting Alphys on the back and booping her nose.

"As long as you've got another $10000 worth of gold, that is!" Royal Guard 2 laughed, pinching a large nugget of gold between his fingers and eyeing it suspiciously while Alphys and company turned right around and left the store without even saying another word.

"Aww, but I had, like, so many sweet and delicious complimentary LOLLIPOPS that I wanted to, like, give them! Man, what a total, like, bummer, dude, am I right?" Royal Guard 1 sighed.

"You got that right, brother; you got that right! AWW, C'MERE, PAL!" Royal Guard 2 laughed and cried as the two of them both kneeled down onto the floor and hugged each other tightly, bursting into tears from the fact that they would never see their families again in the process.

A FEW HOURS LATER...

The Royal Guard duo (no, not Undyne and Papyrus) had just finally finished making their latest remix video out of Alphys' recent home videos, many of which were ironically very family-unfriendly and often quite lewd despite the fact that they were supposed to be for her parents.

Sure enough, the background music was Another Medium, because the two of them simply could not find even ONE other song in the Undertale soundtrack that sounded more profoundly like porn music.

And of course, the video's premiere was being shown in an otherwise unassuming rec room down in the basement of the MTT resort, with beatniks and hipsters rapidly filling the tables.

"Man, like...you know how whenever I smoke, I always make the weirdest of facial expressions?" Burgerpants asked Nice Cream Guy with a smug, troll-faced grin as he lit up his cigar and blew a huge puff of smoke all over the poor bunny-dude's face.

"Dude, you're literally ALWAYS freaking smoking!" Nice Cream Guy reminded him angrily, slamming his palms onto the table for emphasis.

"EXACTLY!" Burgerpants laughed like a madman as his lungs withered and fell off, causing him to choke to death and collapse head-over-heels onto the floor while clutching his neck in agony.

"Eh, good riddance..." Nice Cream Guy sighed, gently lifting his coffee mug up off of the table where he was sitting and smugly sipping it without even a care in the world as the show began.

Right from the get-go, the mad techno beats that Hotland had always been famous for immediately filled the room, soaking it with cum, I mean, atmosphere as the video immediately kicked off with the very first scene of the story...you know, the part where Alphys made love to her own Cthulhu-dog.

"Life...is but a dream...of vice...and glorious sin..." the Royal Guards whispered as Alphys lovingly french-kissed Endogeny and rolled around (overly) excitedly on the ground with him.

"Thus...in order to survive...we must...join the disease..." they whispered as Undyne and Papyrus played yet ANOTHER lyrical arrangement of Bonetrousle, with Papyrus using poor little Alphys as an accordion while Undyne offensively reinforced several infamous Mexican stereotypes.

"Alas, it's too late to redeem ourselves..." they sang as Endogeny licked Alphys' feet, followed by Alphys licking Toriel's and Asgore's, and then finally Alphys and Toriel licking each other's.

"This fandom is headed down a slippery slope..." they sang as Alphys, Undyne, Papyrus and Toriel skiied down the side of the tallest mountain in Snowdin.

"They must learn that their mistakes snowballed..." they sang as Alphys, Undyne, Papyrus and Toriel all ended up collapsing together into one giant snowball and rolling down the mountain.

"Everything is sexualized in spades..." they sang as giantess Alphys danced romantically with giant Mettaton in the middle of what was basically New York City while singing Careless Whisper.

"Although every cloud may have its silver lining..." they sang as Alphys and Toriel ate Papyrus' spaghetti together and french-kissed each other Lady-And-The-Tramp-style once they were finished.

"That still doesn't excuse the fact that you freaking people are an insult to every single good fandom that ever existed!" they sang together while Alphys kinkily f#% ed Toriel in her bed.

"You're exactly why people hate this game!" they sang as Alphys and Toriel gave each other simultaneous footjobs.

"There's no telling what you will make next!" they sang as Alphys literally blacked out from the sheer force and physical law-defiance of the infamous rollercoaster that she was riding with Toriel.

"Everything is but an excuse for you to let loose all of your fetishes on us! For shame!" they sang as Alphys barefootedly brushed and scrubbed the inside of Lemon Bread's mouth.

"Would it kill us to attain a little bit of a certain special thing called our privacy?" they sang as Alphys walked nudely down the staircase, officially bringing the video to a close as the crowd clapped and cheered in applause.

However, unbeknownst to the audience, right when the video had displayed that one last clip of Alphys going down her escalator naked, Alphys herself just so happened to be walking down the staircase into the rec room at that exact same very moment...and she was every bit as shocked as you would expect, causing her to lose her balance and tumble all the way down!

"GREETINGS, our beloved new potential porn star!" the Royal Guards giggled and blushed cheerfully as they scraped Alphys up off of the ground and dusted off her quills with a feather duster.

"What in the actual bloody F#% is going on here?!" Alphys screamed in shock, already profoundly disgusted by the Underground's appalling lack of respect for women's roles in society.

"Everyone is FROGGING it to our INSTANTLY sold-out film!" Royal Guard 1 laughed, patting Alphys on the back while she trembled and shook in unimaginable shyness-induced terror.

"Have an espresso, baby!" Royal Guard 2 chuckled, offering her a nice warm cup of caffeine incarnate (which, needless to say, was literally the LAST thing that Alphys needed at the moment).

"OH, ALPHYS, THAT WAS JUST BEAUTIFUL!" Toriel walked over and complimented her, kneeling down and smooching her wetly and passionately on the cheek as her eyelids twitched with anxiety.

"UM...I..." Alphys stammered awkwardly, not quite knowing what to say.

"You gave me the biggest BONER of my life!" Papyrus snickered childishly despite the fact that he had already kind of made the exact same joke a few scenes earlier without even knowing it.

"Alphys, I wanna have fish-lizard babies with you SO, SO BAD!" Undyne squeed ecstatically with excitement, clenching her hand over Alphys' head and playfully ruffling up her quills.

"W-WHAT?! WHAT THE F#&%?!" Alphys screamed as everyone crowded around her with digital cameras in hand and snapped photo after photo of her fidgeting about like a total spaz.

"What's the matter, Alphys? Are you JEALOUS that you don't have our glorious DVD adaptation of this work of art yet?" Royal Guard 2 snickered, showing her one of the DVD cases he was talking about. "It's only 895 gold...plus tax!"

"Everyone who wishes to, like, look artistic and stuff will want one...OF OUR ELEVEN THOUSAND COPIES!" Royal Guard 1 and 2 pointed and laughed at Alphys while the entire crowd around her followed suit; meanwhile, Alphys was curled up into a quivering, humiliated, miserable little ball of shame on the floor.

"WHERE DID YOU SEND THEM?!" Alphys screamed in terror at Royal Guard 1 as she suddenly sprung back up onto her feet and leapt onto his shoulders, shaking him violently by the collar.

"Only to EVERY STORE IN THE UNDERGROUND!" Royal Guard 1 laughed while Alphys' teeth chattered loudly with fear.

"HOW IN THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO REMOVE THEM ALL IN TIME WITHOUT BREAKING ANY LAWS?! FOR GOD'S SAKE, TELL ME! PLEASE TELL ME NOW!" Alphys desperately begged Royal Guard 2, leaping from his brother's shoulders onto his and glaring deeply into his eyes.

"THINK FAST!" Royal Guard 1 laughed as he untied a gigantic sack that he had just recently pulled out of the closet and dumped $100,000 worth of gold all over Alphys.

"THANK YOU...FOR YOUR...PATRONAGE..." Alphys gasped for air as she reached her hand out through the massive pile and gave the Royal Guards a great big thumbs-up.