Untouchable: Chapter 10: Barriers
Oliver called down the street to Xander, "what happened?"But Xander didn't hear him. He stood there for a moment then decided to page Sean's apartment.He dialed to get Sean's place, no one spoke but the door buzzed open."I was hoping for more direction," he said to himself.Then he texted Sean, "I'm coming up but I don't think I should come in with your allergy and everything." He didn't want to explain the everything but probably wouldn't ever have too."We can meet on the landing, or go to the roof or communal balcony." Sean texted then messaged, "but I'm not ready to go out yet.""That's ok I can text from your landing," Oliver messaged."Won't that be weird there aren't any chairs or benches," Sean messaged."Oh I'll be fine, I don't care what people think," he messaged, and thought, "except about one thing.""I wish I didn't care about so many things, you ever wish you were different so you could be there for someone the way that they need?" Sean messaged."Yeah, I wanted to be a girl because I love my straight friend," Oliver started to write, but changed his mind. Instead he messaged, "Yeah, I felt like that about some straight friends, and my parents.""I think I have been hurting Xander and I didn't know, I think he feels I've been playing with his heart and now he is ignoring my texts and calls," Sean messaged."That explains what he said when he passed me on the street," Oliver messaged as he stood for the elevator, then sent, "why is your elevator so slow?""When did you push for it?" Sean messaged."A minute or so ago," Oliver messaged."you could probably still take the stairs, if it's not at the first floor by now it's either being used by the cleaning service or broken," Sean messaged."Is it often like that?" Oliver asked."Broken? yes! :-/" Sean messaged."You now, I'm fit but I hate stairs" Oliver messaged."You'll live," Sean messaged."Are you ok?" Oliver asked."How can I be ok, my best friend is done with me and I can't be around you," Sean messaged.Oliver stood in front of Sean's door not sure if he should knock being unable to go inside.He sat and leaned against the door for arms rested on his bent knees to text."I wish I could give you a hug," Oliver messaged."Is that you at the door?" Sean asked."Yes but I'm sitting against it," Oliver messaged."Ah my personal guard cat," Sean messaged."Not a great guard if the door opened I'd fall through, lol," Oliver messaged."Well if I want to Kitnap you now I know how to do it," Sean messaged.Oliver felt a weight press against the door."Threatening to Kitnap a former rape victim is a bit crass don't you think," Oliver messaged then pushed against the door more so Sean could feel him."Yeah, I'm sorry," Sean messaged then sent, "I wasn't thinking, I seem to do that a
lot.""I was teasing, I'm not offended by you," Oliver messaged."I want to open the door a crack, I want to hear your voice," Sean messaged."Ok, but that would look weird, and the allergens?" Oliver replied."It will be ok I can wash my hand, and I thought you didn't care what others thought," Sean messaged."Yeah that was before I realized I might look like a burglar," Oliver messaged.He felts the weight leave the door and the knob turn. He leaned away from the door as it opened only mere inches.A boot was stuck in the door opening and Sean's paw was held out at the doors edge, then the gap narrowed briefly as Oliver and Sean leaned against the door again as if back to back.Oliver reached across his body and took Sean's paw."You know we could get Lycra suits," Oliver said."Oh Alpha! What a way to join a fetish community," Sean said.Oliver squeezed Sean's paw while he pulled at a loose thread of the hall carpet."I don't know how else I could hug you," Oliver said and thought, "am I stupid for putting so much energy into this?""Is it bad that I don't care about my allergies when I'm with you," Sean said."Probably, but it's probably worse that I don't seem to care either," Oliver said."So we are a sadomasochist couple now," Sean said."Well maybe that's not what we should post when going Muzzlebook official," Oliver said."My parents would freak out," Sean said."Because, I'm a cat," Oliver asked."No its... well yes that too actually, but they couldn't handle me coming out so publicly to the pack like that," Sean said."So your closeted?" Oliver asked."Sort of I guess, everyone in my family and my friends know, but the pack is huge, and I didn't want to shame my parents," Sean said."I disagree but I understand," Oliver said, "if it shames you or your parents it's the furs doing the shamings problem.""I wish it was so easy to feel that way, but I was raised to seek the Alphas approval and I guess as a result the packs, too," Sean said.Oliver said, "I was raised by the Primes Witnesses so I understand, and you-"Sean interrupted, "Mind if I go get something, I'm cold.""Why are you cold, this isn't allergy related is it?" Oliver asked with a chill of his own."No, I'm just underdressed," Sean said."You're what?" Oliver said then peered around the door, "Sean why are you only in-""What the hell is going on here!" a female voice Oliver vaguely recognized said.Oliver crushed his ear when he yanked his head out of the door way and leaned back on the door again."Hey Sharron," Oliver said."Oh shit!" Sean exclaimed from the apartment.The weight Oliver leaned against left the door and he fell through and smacked the back of his head on the floor, which put him in a daze.Sean ran for his bedroom, Sharron stepped over Oliver, then said,
"why the hell are you naked.""Crap!" Sean squawked and slammed his bedroom door, "wasn't naked just mostly, and why are you following me.""I'm not following you, And cat you should leave," Sharron said. Oliver's nose tingled."Don't tell my friends what to do! Oliver are you ok?" Sean asked."I'm fine but your popcorn ceiling is dusty and what's that smell?" Oliver said."The lasagna!" Sean yelled then burst from the bedroom still shirtless but in a camo shorts.Sharron rounded on Oliver, "why are you here you'll get him sick again.""I've never gotten him sick, I can't get him sick, he is a dog and I'm a cat," Oliver said, weakly,and wobbled up to a seated position."What are you talking about," Sharron asked.Oliver said, "Oh! You meant-"Sean snapped, "Stop harassing my friends, why are you here?" Then ran back to the bedroom."I came to apologize," Sharron said."Let me guess you don't like apologizing?" Oliver asked.Sharron glared, "I see why you like him, he is a cat that can stand up for himself.""I'm a tiger I can handle a wolf," Oliver said then stood."Yes, and in Sean's case it requires little effort," Sharron said."Character assassinations aside, I accept your apology, now leave I'm having a bad day," Sean said then moved the slightly charred lasagna to the table on a hot pad."I'm not leaving you with a cat," Sharron said as she gripped her purse like a cudgel."You make it sound like I'm a dangerous animal," Oliver said but he still chose to move to the doors threshold."Well, Xander ditched, if you are not going to leave grab three plates and three sets of knives we are eating on the balcony," Sean said. "I didn't come for dinner," Sharron said."I don't want to impose," Oliver said."If she isn't an imposition you won't be," Sean said, "and Sharron if you want to apologize that's fine but we need to talk more.""Fine, wait did you say the balcony? It's windy as hell out there," Sharron said."Are you sure, I can go its no problem," Oliver said, then moved to stand in the hall."No, We are going to eat and be civil about it. Follow me," Sean said as he led the way with the lasagna and serving spatula in his paws.Oliver followed Sean down the hall.Back from the apartment Sharron called, "Wait I don't know where your cutlery is, come back here! I'm not even hungry!""Should we help her," Oliver asked."No, she'll find it. But I needed to delay her minute," Sean said, "Oliver, I have a favor to ask, and it will make you uncomfortable, not now but when it happens. can you promise not to leave even if the shit hits the fan?""Ah... sure," Oliver said, "what do you have planned?"Sean said, "Oh I want to talk to my sister about-""Why are your forks and knives in different drawers that is just annoying," Sharron said with a big blanket and
the utensils."Wait that's my comforter, why did you bring it out here." Sean said and stopped pulling the table from the corner for their meal."I told you this is crazy because it's windy," Sharron said."So you grabbed my bed spread? You know what I do in that, right?" Sean asked.She dropped it curling her lip in disgust."Where are the plates?" Sean asked."I had enough trouble finding the knives," Sharron said.Sean rolled his eyes and collected his blanket, "I'll be right back." And walked down the public hall back to his apartment."What is your game here Oscar?" Sharron snapped.Oliver was confused for a second, "oh, Sharron I'm Oliver not Oscar, and I have no game I'm just trying to be a friend.""That makes no sense at all, you've known Sean less than two days and now you're bff's, please even if you logically know you can't be together you seem to be still trying.""That may be the truth, but I can't be with him for my own reasons, his allergy just adds to it." Oliver said."You prefer your kind or something?" Sharron asked."That's a rude question and I used too but now I prefer canids, but honestly all of that is none of your business." Oliver said.She opened her mouth to ask another question when Sean returned, with plates and a different blanket."Come let sit and eat," Sean said."Are we praying this time or are you still uncomfortable?" Sharron asked."We will, but we must explain and invite our guest to join, as the next 'Alpha' isn't that something you should know," Sean said."So do wolves apologize by bickering?" Oliver asked."No that's a sibling thing," Sharron said, "Oliver do you pray before your meals?""I do pray, I was raised a Primes Witness, and I was an only child," Oliver said."How do you pray?" Sean asked."You kind of crouch, bow your head and push your food towards the middle of the table," Oliver said."That sounds like your about to pounce?" Sharron said, "how are you submitting to the Alpha then, err, Prime?""Felines don't submit and the Prime doesn't expect us too, but we do need to give our share for hunting in his Territory," Oliver said."Huh? sounds kind of cultish to me," Sharron said."And being run by a couple that speak the mind of the alpha, who seems to change his mind with each new couple incharge isn't cultish?" Oliver said."Ok, well before this leads to a theological food fight, let's meet in the middle, Sharron and I can offer our plates forward with you, if you can show your throat," Sean said.Oliver didn't like the idea then noticed Sharron didn't either, "sure sounds great!"She narrowed her eyes and said, "I think you agreed to spite me.""Remember my name next time," Oliver said.Sean sat and held out his paws, then said, "Sharron, who's hesitating to pray now?""you were far less petulant when
we were pups," Sharron said and sat.Oliver joined them."You're far less intimidating now that you don't beat me up," Sean said."I never beat you up Sean!" Sharron snapped."Fine now that you don't threaten to beat me up, we should talk to Samantha she did threaten to drug me," Sean said."Sean, this isn't a business negotiation, pray so we can eat," Sharron said."So who starts the prayer?" Oliver asked."Wolves pray silently or in a howl," Sean said while he dished up their plates avoiding the charred bits."Cats do roar chants, but a prayer is to thank the Prime for his great territory and boast about the bounty we offer him to share in," Oliver said."I'm not going to boast to anyone about Sean's burnt lasagna," Sharron said, "can you do a silent roar?""Kinda defeats the point but I'll try," Oliver said.They all pushed their plates forward, closed there eyes, held paws and raised there heads to the moon."Ok let's eat," Sean said."Oliver, were you purring," Sharron asked, "I got your name right that time.""No he was quiet hissing," Sean said."I didn't know I made any noise, how embarrassing." Oliver said then took a big bite. It tasted fine but was dryer than Oliver liked his food, but all dog food was like that."So you and Xander were going to have dinner but he bailed?" Sharron asked."Yes, didn't you come to apologize for questioning my faith?" Sean said.Olivers discomfort at they bickering grew when he realized that the seat Sean had had him sit at was boxed in by his and Sharron's seats, he thought, "that sneaky bastard. What do you need support for?""How's the food?" Sean asked.Simultaneously Oliver and Sharron said, "dry and burn," respectively."Might be dry because it's burnt," Oliver said."So I'm not the best cook, when I'm having a fight," Sean said."You and Xander had a fight?" Sharron asked."I was overlooking how he felt about me because I didn't feel the same but I'll do better from now on.""I'm glad you feel that way, you should tell him that too," Oliver said."Wait you didn't know he's in love with you?" Sharron said."I knew he was attracted to me and I kinda tease him about it, but I didn't realize how deep the feelings were for him." Sean said, "I should have brought out glasses and water.""Why would you treat him that way he is your best friend," Sharron said."Why would the pack treat me differently? because something about me makes them uncomfortable?" Sean asked, then added, "I'm not saying it's right, but just like I need to change so does the pack."Sharron crossed her arms and leaned back then said, "you are going back to the pack is the root of your problems?""No I'm saying we as a society have had futures that weren't healthy or helpful for years and the pack has been changed for the worst because of that," Sean
said."You know others feel the opposite to you," Sharron said."That may be true but I'd rather live in a world where people are uncomfortable but treated well then where we have is a world where people actively hurt others to handle their cognitive dissonance," Sean said."I don't think I see what you are seeing, how is this culture so toxic?" Sharron said, "I mean I know women's and interspecies rights aren't the best but, it's way better than it was.""Better is good as long as you don't stop till it works for everyone, a fever of 102 degrees is way better than 105 but you don't quit resting till your truly better and back at 99.2," Oliver said."I get your analogy but wolves have different body temperatures and you're assuming we know what is the right norm," Sharron said."But we do, we know how to treat our own treat others just as well, if someone does not intend malice, forgive, and take responsibility for you own actions and feelings," Sean said."You can't assume people will have the experience or ability to know themselves like that," Sharron said."I know that they won't, kids and adults that never learned that they are unaware will cause problems, but that's what the pack is there for helping them grow, not to excuse them to continue acting that way," Sean said."I don't think the Pride or the Pack will ever be capable of doing that," Oliver said."The pack can, it's a grounding force," Sharron said."No it's a grinding force, Sharron I haven't told you most of the crap that's happened to me, yes there were my bad choices but the pack shaped the options I saw before me," Sean said.Oliver shivered in the wind."How did the pack trap you?" Sharron said."Sharron I knew I was gay, even if I didn't know what gay was since I was thirteen, but I heard it was wrong, I watched mom and dad disparage anything to do with gay people ever mentioned in the media," Sean said."So they spoke what they believe, why did you take it so personally?" Sharron asked."Because I had no one to talk to I was trapped in a home where I felt broken, remember when Samantha caught me on a chat site and dad, locked down the computer?" Sean asked."Yeah that Dogtracker program was a pain, they put that on there because you went on dirty chats?" Sharron asked."I went on some yes but they were exciting and terrifying I was thirteen, he never found out about the adult ones, it was a clean chat page for gay youth. Those he freaked out about. He hated me talking to other furs that felt the same way I did," Sean said, "because beliefs he learned and lives by in the pack.""He's the Alpha, Sean, he isn't perfect but he did it to protect you," Sharron said."He did it because he is a coward and did not want to face the fact that he might have a gay son," Sean barked, "I didn't have options, he locked every way for me to safely talk to gay people and
figure myself out, that is why I said I can't be part of the pack.""You can't be in the pack because dad, parented you, I'm sorry but tough luck that's how parenting works," Sharron said then finished her last bite."No parenting would have been him talking to me, parenting would have been him helping me learn in a safe environment, he put me in a kennel, and told me I just needed to try a woman and I would grow out of it," Sean said."He was only trying to protect you," Sharron said."He failed to do so on so many levels, and to say trying on a woman, like committing your heart and soul to someone was like putting on a shirt," Sean said, "the Pack doesn't allow him to help or understand me, if he had been there the pack would have disowned him, like they are barely tolerating me now, because I'm not vocal about it.""Well it is more political than it should be," Sharron said."Did you ever feel like dad would disown you for being yourself or asking about things you were confused about?" Sean asked."No, I," she sighed, then said, "I understand the pack and dad put you in a tough place.""No, Sharron, I can't be in the pack because it put me in a vulnerable place," Sean said, "I had to go to the library and because the local one is pack funded, I could only use Craigslist to talk to other gays and the first fur I met in person raped me."Sharron sat there mouth half open."See I am right, that proves it," Sean said."I am sorry that that happened to you Sean, but all I heard here is that gay culture preyed on you and dad was right to protect you from it," Sharron said."Are you fucking kidding me," Sean snapped."I'm going to go, thanks for the meal, I'm sorry for getting riled up last time, I'll see you tomorrow," Sharron said then rose."How can you not see that it's the packs fault?" Sean yelled as she walked away.He fell back into his chair."You can't make people agree with you," Oliver said."I know but I just wanted her to see the problems with the pack," Sean said."You are wrong the pack didn't rape you," Oliver said."You're siding with her, you're a cat! Why would you side with the pack after everything they have done," Sean said."I'm not siding with them, they aren't good but they aren't intentionally evil, the person that raped you did intentional evil, the pack was neglectful and bigoted which are, or can be, evils of ignorance," Oliver said."How can you not see that it's their fault," Sean asked then stood."Because I don't know them, they could be everything that you say but what does that change," Oliver said, then stood also, "work to make them who they should be, if you're just focusing on what happened not what should happen you can never change and therefore not change them either.""I'll need to think about that, do you really need to go?" Sean asked."Yeah you're doing much
better now and I have to get to the gym," Oliver said."I don't want to be alone," Sean said. "I get that, I fucked up a relationship by not telling someone something, but you need to think about it, you can't avoid it," Oliver said then took Sean's hand nuzzling it."You are more of a mediator than me right now," Sean said."I was just objective, or concussed, do you need help carrying things?" Oliver said."If you can grab the plates and serving dish, and I'll get the blanket," Sean said. They returned you the door, where Oliver held a paw over Sean's mouth and liked the back of his paw, he said, "I'll see you soon Rogue."Sean grinned by Gambit.