Untouchable: Chapter 27: Memories
When Xander returned to city hall he hoped that Sean would be there. Sean hadn't gone to the meeting that, Mr Franks secretary Jessi said Sean had left for. He had to play it by ear when he got there, Amy liked his ideas and brought Vivian on board. Now he needed to find Sean for work and personal reasons. He needed Sean's buy-in for the debate, if he did then the project would be back in line and to his schedule. Xander tried to call Sean again while he walked to Sean's desk. His call went straight to voicemail. He wondered if Sean might have blocked his number after he sent the angry voicemail. Xander's fire to find Sean continued, Sean wasn't at his desk. Xander put his cold hands in his pockets, while he thought about what to do next. He checked is phones shared location map to see where Sean was, it said Sean was at home but it hadn't updated since a little after eight in the morning.He saw Paul was at Olivers place so he sent him a text, "Thanks again for the ride, I haven't been able to find Sean... how's your day?" "I have to head to work soon, just stopped by Oliver's he's doing much better but he's confused, apparently Sean's planning on coming over later and he's worried about the allergens," Paul messaged."Really that idiot last time that sent him to the hospital, when's he heading over?" Xander messaged."Don't know, but we are having dinner at six-thirty right?" Paul messaged."Yeah I'll catch him outside Olivers then head over," Xander messaged then sat in Sean's chair."I'll walk to work from here that way you don't have to walk for dinner or wait on the bus, My cars in the garage Oliver will have the keys for you," Paul messaged."Thanks Paul, you're awesome see you later!" He replied.Xander checked his watch he had had breakfast but that was about it, he could continue to wait or get food. He waited at Sean's desk, and wrote an outline for an add targeting people that preferred loss prevention, and an other for people that were currently gains seeking. He wondered which he was at the moment, "I want Paul and I want Sean but is that Mate Acquisition and self preservation or more loss prevention and gains seeking.""College was so long ago, it least these frameworks have been helpful," he thought. Then gave up waiting for Sean and headed to lunch."Am I temporary, if Sean did want to be with me what would I do," Xander thought while he walked to the elevator."Paul called me his Boy friend today, and Tanner tried having sex with Sean," Xander thought as he walked to a near by cafe that Sean often talked about."It didn't make me jealous that Tanner did that, but the idea that Sean wants Oliver does, I mean I set them up, with that birthday dinner," Xander thought then ordered a Panini.He sat wishing he wasn't in love with Sean so he could be free and happy with Paul.He didn't
notice when his Panini was delivered to his table, he was lost in memory, remembering back to a baseball game he watched with Sean."Sean why can't we be each others first," I asked."Shut up Xander what if someone hears you?" Sean growled, while he shifted on the bleacher covert glances to the sides."Who cares if they hear, we graduate in four months, what's anyone going to do now?" I said."I don't know, disown us, Xander my parents are the Alphas, I can't date," Sean said."But you can go out with a guy online?" I asked."I'm not going out with him and we won't do anything anyway, he just said he'd explain how it works so we don't hurt each other," Sean said, "my dad's watchdog program won't let me get on AOL, and email is too slow.""Why couldn't we learn together it's not like it could hurt," I said."I heard if you don't do it right it can, you can injure each other where you need the doctor," Sean said."I always thought we could be each others first," I said."We can be I promise," Sean said then gently punched my shoulder."I'll hold you too that," I said."I may be a runt but you still couldn't hold me to anything," Sean said.We got bored of the game and walk home.I didn't want him to meet that guy, I wanted him to be my first. He was dead set on waiting for our safety. I hated this wait. He had promised we could try after he learned how not to hurt me, I hoped he was feeling better so we could do it as soon as possible.I was hard and not shy about it, while running over to his place as soon as it was ok to call that Saturday morning, but his mom said he wasn't feeling well. I had a long and lonely weekend. Sean must have been pretty sick, he missed school so that Monday evening I took him the homework for the classes he missed.When I got to his place his mom let me in, she asked, "Xander honey, I know Sean's sick but I think I need to take him to the doctor, or something, does he have a girl at school. I don't understand he seems depressed but he has a fever, could he be tricking the thermometer." "No Mrs Miller, he doesn't have a girlfriend, is he not sick?" I asked thinking soon he'll have a boyfriend, me!"I don't know he seems angry and sad," she said."Well I'll cheer him up," I said.She gave me a plate of food to take up for him, and stood at the banister watching me as I went up stairs. I knocked at Sean's door."What! You woke me up! What do you want?" Sean asked through the locked door."It's me I brought your homework, can I come in?" I asked."Go away, I'm sick," Sean said."I need you to at least open the door I have your dinner and homework, I can't get the knob," I said. When he opened the door I darted past him nearly spilling the food."What the
heck, man get out," Sean snapped at me.The room reeked of Febreze I coughed setting down the plate as fast as I could to cover my nose. "What the hell Sean it's horrible in here!" I growled through my elbow."I... I'm sick, please leave," Sean said scared."No, I can tell you're lying Sean, what's really going on here," I asked arms crossed."Its nothing, just leave me alone," Sean said."No, I'm here so you have to tell me or ignore me, I'm your best friend I have the right to know, come on, why is it an air freshener hell in here," I asked.Sean threw himself onto his bed on the other side of the room huddled in the fetal position.I sat on the edge of the bed about to rest an arm on him but he leaned back to knock me off the edge, then shifted back. With him being difficult I jumped on him. He yelped in pain and threw me off him like it hurt, far more then it should have."Whoa, Sean seriously what's wrong," I asked from the ground."Please just go away man, please," Sean said.I could hear he was crying, and I smelt something through the Febreze.I stood and ripped the covers off him."What the fuck is that," I snapped at him about the stain of blood spreading on the seat of his shorts his back still to me.He just sobbed."I'm getting your mom you need a doctor or something," I said back tracking to the door.In a surprising burst of speed Sean leapt from the bed then blocked me, a grimace of pain on his muzzle."No! you can't, please don't!" he pleaded."Something's seriously wrong with you," I said pissed that he wouldn't tell me he hadn't waited."You're... you're right but my parents can't know," Sean said."Why?" I demanded."They'd find out," he said."Find out what?" I snapped at him."They'll find out I'm gay and... and that I'm not a..." he broke down sobbing again."They'll find out that your gay, and not a virgin, big deal you never had a girlfriend all of high school they've probably guessed by now, and my parents know I'm gay and that you are too, we're all tired of keeping your big secret," I snapped back growling."They can't know," he said, "you can't tell them, please!""Fine but you're being a pussy, you liar, and you still need a doctor you shouldn't be bleeding," I growled."No-no I'm fine," Sean said. I looked at his laundry pile there were several pairs of blood and shit stained underwear, "no you need a doctor." I said grabbing for the door handle.Sean wrestled me but what ever was wrong was making the big guy weak as a baby. He growled in frustration then punch me in the face as hard as he could. I landed on the floor again in shock. He cupped his paws to his muzzle."Xander I'm so sorry," he said.I pushed passed him
as he broke down in tears unwilling to stop me anymore."I'm so sorry" I heard faintly when I reached the foot of the stairs.Mrs Miller had a disgruntled look, "are you ok honey? What were all those noises?""Yeah I'm fine I need to go home, but Sean needs a doctor he's not sick," I said."He isn't, oh dear what's wrong?" She asked."he got in a fight or something," I lied, "I got to get home." I bolted out the door before breaking down into my own tears as my eye swelled closed."Sir are you done with your plate," a waitress asked.Xander's plate was just scattered crumbs, he felt full and empty at the same time but in different ways, but nodded that she could take the plate.He texted Sharron while he walked back to city hall, "hey have you been able to reach Sean today?""No, I haven't tried, what's up?" She replied."Oh his phone broke and I didn't know if his new one was working yet," he messaged back."I don't know, Sam always knows what's going on I'll message her," she replied.Xander didn't hear back for a while so he got back to work but halfheartedly. He wished he could go back with what he knew now and change things