FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

For chimeras, the beast is a part of us. Inseparable, indivisible, its instincts may at times overwhelm our own. And while some of us are driven to master it. Others, to tame it. The only way to understand it, to lay claim to it as an essential part of our selves, is to possess a heart that will never succumb to the way of rage.

Chapter Sixteen : The path of Asura.

Laying awake in bed, Kato wondered what to do next. Returning to his life as Johnathan King's personal bodyguard seemed out of the question. For how could he expect himself to be able to defend the life of someone that he considered to be little more then a monster in possession of a human skin? And simply remaining in Morishita's home didn't seem to be much of a solution either. Sooner or later, he have to return to the King family household.

Can I really go back, He thought to himself. To a place I can't even consider my home?

Tossing back the covers with a sigh, Kato knew that wasting more time worrying about what would happen next wouldn't solve anything. Even if he had nothing to do, even if he had nowhere to go. Life itself would still go on.

Looking down at his naked body, He grimaced when he saw the sorry state he was in.

Whole swathes of his body had been shaved clean of fur. Even though he knew it was a necessary act in order to inspect the worst of his injuries, and therefor treat them, the sight of it still disturbed him, for it only served to showcase the deep purple bruises that stood in stark relief against the dark stripes that covered his body.

He was a mess of bandages, a veritable pharmacopoeia of palliatives, and worse, he was going to itch like holy hell when all the fur he was missing started to grow back in.

Bringing his fingers to the worst of his injuries, Kato felt a sense of numbness spreading outwards across his chest as he traced a line down his body. He could smell the rich scent of cajaput and cloves, along with something else that he couldn't quite identify. That meant that whatever it was that Morishita had seen fit to give him while he had been unconscious was merely serving to dull the pain, not take it away.

Still. Thought Kato as, ignoring the discomfort that it caused him he stretched with all the grace of a great cat. At a time like this, even a little pain is something to be grateful for. It means that I'm still alive.

After finishing the exercises that would serve to loosen some of the stiffest muscles in his body, Kato found the clothes he had been wearing had been left for him in a neat little pile next to the bed. Someone had apparently gone through the trouble of laundering them for him. The blood stains that had once covered them were gone, and they had even seen fit to repair the stitching, something he was grateful for.

Taking care not to disturb any of his injuries while dressing himself, Kato found that his supple body, once a source of youthful pride, was weak from lack of use, and that most of his muscles cried out in protest as he tried to thread his tail through the hole in the back of his pants.

For a moment, it seemed as if the memory of that night would follow him until his body was fully healed.

Pushing all thoughts of being in pain from his mind, Kato focused all of his attention on the room around him. It was sparsely furnished, with only a few select mementos here and there to give any indication that someone had once thought to call it home. Everything else that might have been of importance seemed to have been carefully packed away in boxes that had been left by the bedroom door. All that was left to mark the memory of its former occupant, was a lone photograph standing a solemn vigil inside an otherwise empty family shrine.

Kato wasn't sure what to make of it. As it stood, there wasn't even a memorial tablet or a stick of incense to indicate whether they were among the living or dead.

Does it matter? He thought as he tried to remember how best to pay his respects. These people are Morishita's family.

Bowing his head before lifting the picture, Kato offered up a prayer as he stared into the depths of the photograph. In it, a woman and her daughter were smiling beneath a sakura tree. Its petals, as vivid as pink snowflakes, seemed to be drifting endlessly around them, forever trapped by time. I never knew that Morishita had a wife and daughter, but then, I suppose that's my fault for never bothering to ask in the first place.

Placing the photograph back where it belonged, Kato felt momentarily guilty. Morishita had been an integral part of his life since he had first found himself entered into the service of the King family. So much so in fact, that only now did he understand that Morishita had always been more of a father to him than a friend.

And in all that time I never once thought to ask him if he had ever had a life beyond that of being a private tutor, Shaking his head, Kato thought. Some son I turned out to be.

Reaching out to touch the faces of the people in the photograph, Kato hoped that through that act alone, he could somehow connect with some small part of the past. Looking back now, I guess that, I've always been so absorbed in learning everything he has to teach me, that I just assumed he'd be around forever, and now he's being forced to leave because of me . . .

Chased away by an almost imperceptible scent of Jasmine flowers that had slowly begun wafting throughout the room, Kato's grim thoughts were temporarily banished to some far corner of his mind.

Inhaling the delicate aroma, so like a restorative to his weary spirit, the scent alone was a welcome reminder of the simple pleasures the world of life still held in store for him. No doubt Morishita is busy brewing us some tea. He always did seem to like an early riser to me.

When Kato finally felt fit enough to enter the living room, he found Morishita had indeed been waiting for him.

Seated in front of a kotatsu, a low cut table that barely came up to a person's knees, he was busy performing Bon temae, a simple and informal way of performing a Japanese tea ceremony. “Have a seat Kato,” Said Morishita without missing a single stroke, “You see, there are things that I feel we need to discuss.”

Making himself as comfortable as possible, Kato tucked his legs beneath himself in the formal seiza style. Watching in rapt fascination as Morishita used a bamboo ladle to pour hot water into a cup, before mixing the various elements together with the chasen, a paper brush that was not unlike a whisk, He knew that like chimeras, Morishita lacked a proper connection to his place of origin, and that performing Bon temae was a way of reclaiming some small part of a homeland that had long been lost to history.

Passing Kato the cup of freshly prepared tea, Morishita took the time to follow tradition to the letter. Ensuring that even simple things like the cup being held properly was simply a part of who Morishita was. Never direct, always working his way round to the point, the familiarity of it was comforting.

Holding the cup in both hands, letting the warmth of the tea seep through the glaze and into his fingers, Kato sipped at it briefly. It was far stronger than he had first expected, the flavors of the green were all but overpowering the faint overtones of jasmine that he had smelled, but underneath it there was also a sharp bitter aftertaste that no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't place.

Preparing a cup for himself, Morishita sipped from it briefly and began drinking from it.

Thinking that it must have been an acquired taste, Kato decided to give his cup a second chance and took another sip.

“Kato, this will not be an easy thing for you to hear. But it is about your mother, Sasha.”

Gagging as the hot tea caught in his throat, Kato forced himself to swallow the rest of the burning mixture. Coughing as he struggled just to catch his breath, he placed the cup back on the table and said. “What . . . what about her?”

Taking a deep breath, Morishita let it out in one long sigh and said. “Sasha, she was not your real mother, because you see, Johnathan King; he is your twin brother.”

Feeling his eyebrows draw together in confusion, Kato let out a weak laugh. “Morishita Sensei, that isn't funny. Even as a joke . . . its impossible for us to be related, let alone be twins. Besides, Johnathan is human, and I'm . . . not.”

The longing that had been in Kato's voice was unmistakable to Morishita. It meant that Kato had already begun to blame his failure on his lack of humanity. Shaking his head as he placed a datapad on the table between them, Morishita tapped the surface of its screen and activated a preselected program. There was no longer any doubts left in his mind, if Kato saw the fact that he had been born a chimera as more of a curse then a blessing, then it was time to prove to him how wrong he was.

“Morishita Sensei,” Said Kato as he watched the datapad run off a series of verification codes proving that what it was about to show was indeed a genuine recording containing a class Triple-S security encryption. “What the hell is this?”

As a level of data protection that was supposed to be impossible to hack, a class Triple-S security encryption was only used to protect one thing, and that was the most dangerous and sensitive of all information. Human memory. That Morishita had managed to conceal something like this within his possession, that it was in any way connected with his past, meant dark things indeed.

“It is a moment in time,” Said Morishita with a kind of grim finality. “Taken unwillingly from the mind of a woman who was witness to your birth, one Doctor Olivia Goldstein.”

Seeing the world through another person's eyes, watching as they went about their work, Kato began to recognize the people in the room. Though they were sixteen years younger, their faces were still familiar. “That's Sharyl King, and that's John . . .”

Feeling his blood run cold, Kato watched in a kind of horrified fascination, as one after the other, Doctor Goldstein helped bring both him and Johnathan into the world. “This is fake,” He said. “It has to be.” But even as the words passed from his lips he knew them to be a lie. Memories could be altered, they could even be erased, but the one thing that they couldn't be was faked.

“Kato, I am sorry that I had to be the one to show you this,” Said Morishita as he took the datapad back. “But I am afraid that not only is this not a joke, it is deadly serious.”

“So I really am . . . half human?” Confronted by inescapable proof, the revelation behind his true origins struck Kato like a physical blow. It isn't true. It can't be true. But it makes sense. He could see it now. Like staring at a reflection in a dark mirror, the only reason he had been able to ignore the truth for so long, was simply because he had never bothered to look too closely. Johnathan and I . . . we're the same age, we're the same height. We even carry ourselves in the same way. Underneath all of this fur, am I really, the same as him? Kato suddenly found himself shouting, as if somehow, his anger alone could deny reality. “You . . . you're lying. That wasn't proof. You have to be . . . my mother, my mother would have told me, she would have—”

“Sasha, she never knew.” Morishita went on, ignoring Kato's inner turmoil his tone rang with an iron authority. “You must understand this Kato, that in order to hide the truth from the world, you were placed into her care shortly after you were born. Sasha, she was never told who it was that had given birth to you.”

It broke Morishita's heart to be the one to tell him, but Kato needed to be able to accept the truth if he was to ever understand his place in the world. “Sasha, was merely the one who raised you, and though she loved you more than her own life, she was not your true mother. The one who gave birth to you, the one responsible for giving you life, was in fact Sharyl King.” Morishita pressed on. “Your father was a chimera named Takato. And you, are the progeny of their union, a blending of all that is best about our two races. As well as living proof that humans and chimeras can exist as one.”

“No! I refuse to accept that.” Forcing himself to focus on his trembling hands, Kato said. “Bad enough to know that I have human blood in me, but to share the same blood as him. I would sooner tear out my own heart. To me . . .” Said Kato bitterly. “Humans are nothing more than scum.”

“I see. Then if that is truly how you feel.” Morishita sipped his tea. “Then you must hate me as well, for I am also human.”

“Ah!” Torn between the hatred he held for his half-brother, and the love he felt for the man who was the closest thing he had ever had to a real father, Kato said. “I don't think I could ever hate you. You've been my only friend. All these years.”

As Kato spoke, Morishita had been staring into the mouth of his cup. Already a thin crack had begun running through the glaze. An ominous omen indeed. Regardless, he had been the one to build the pyre, now all that was needed was to throw the match. “Then what of the chimera blood running through your veins. Is it truly so pure? Surely a man of honor, a chimera, would not have taken another man's wife to his bed.”

A low rumbling sound grew in the back of Kato's throat as his claws slipped free of their protective sheaths and began gouging long furrows deep into the table. It was taking all of his self control just to hold himself back. To keep himself from lashing out in anger.

Morishita simply watched, unfazed by the display. It seemed for a moment that he must add even more fuel to the fire. “I suppose you could say, that Johnathan committed a sin similar to that of your own father's. He took a woman who was not his own, except, in his case, he made you watch.”

A look of pure unadulterated rage blossomed in Kato's blue eyes, along with a hatred so intense that a low snarl escaped from his lips when he said the words. “Stop it.”

“You know Kato, your not exactly powerless anymore, I've trained you both. You know that when it comes down to it, your his better in a fight.”

More insistent this time, Kato had to fight with himself just to say the words. “Stop it.”

His entire body had begun shaking, vibrating like a spring that had been wound too tight he fought simply to remain still, to master himself and regain some semblance of calm.

“Ah, now I see your true intent. In order to avenge your lady's honor you intend to return, to challenge him to a duel, don't you!”

Kato felt as if he was being driven into a corner. All the hatred and the rage, it had never truly left him. Like a monster lurking beneath the surface of his skin, it was simply biding its time, waiting for its chance to strike. “I said stop talking!”

Refusing to be intimidated Morishita said. “Don't you!”

There was nothing human left in Kato's voice when he said. “Yesss.”

Morishita looked carefully at his disciple, who was quickly becoming more feral, more animal-like, as more and more of his humanity slipped away. Are you the man I thought you to be, or have you already lost yourself to the beast?

“And what will you do to him when you win?” Driving his point home with a calculated ruthlessness, Morishita said. “Will you kill him?”

“Yes!” The words burst forth from Kato's lips along with a roar. “I'll tear that bastard's throat out! With these claws I'll . . .” Kato stopped in mid sentence, and just looked at his hands. He couldn't make them stop shaking. “I'll . . . I'll.”

“Become the very thing you profess to hate?” Said Morishita calmly.

My god. Thought Kato, as trembling with a rage that even now threatened to overwhelm him, he felt himself beginning to lose control. It would be so easy wouldn't it? To just, let myself be consumed by hate.

Clasping his head with both hands, Kato felt a roaring in his ears like the sound of ocean waves. It was steadily growing louder, drowning out everything else until all he could feel was the rage and the hate. “Morishita Sensei, help me.” He could feel its hungers rising to the surface. The animal inside wanted to rend and tear, to hunt down its prey, and revel in the glory of unrestrained violence.

“Listen to me Kato,” Said Morishita as he watched him struggle to master his own inner nature. “You must hold true to who you are, and cast out the seed of hatred that has taken root in your heart. For if you do not, then you will become an Asura, and succumb to the endless desire for revenge.”

Its so hard. Faced with the enormity of the task in front of him Kato felt small and weak. “Sensei, I don't know if I can.” The desire to rip Johnathan's throat out, to feel the warmth of his life's blood as it spilled against his fingers, and to watch as he clung to life just long enough to taste true despair. It painted his world red.

Shouting the words, Morishita said. “You must!”

So hard to simply, let it go.

Kato felt the darkness in his own heart closing in around him. So warm, so; inviting, that it felt as if he were welcoming home an old friend.

“I know you Kato, you are stronger than the hatred that consumes you. Do not submit to it and become a beast.”

Morishita's voice seems so distant now. Feeling as if he had been cast to drift through an endless sea of hatred, Kato wondered if this was what Neraka was supposed to look like.

A bleak, barren wasteland, it was a world born from petty evils and the endless need for revenge. Its almost impossible to hear. A thousand hurts threatened to reach out and drag him down. Sinking into the depths of his own despair, when Kato looked up, there was a light shining above him. Reaching out to it he heard a voice say. “Don't be stupid Kato.”

It belonged to her.

“Lady?”

She was holding her hand out to him. “Just let it go.”

When next Kato opened his eyes, he found himself lying on the floor. Looking up at the ceiling, the world slowly began to resolve itself into recognizable shapes and colors once more. Lifting his empty cup Kato struggled not to laugh. “Morishita Sensei. What did you put in my tea?”