Chapter 5 -- The. Three. Words.
#5 of My Modern Bahamut
DISCLAIMERS AND STUFF:
Finally, this is it. The following piece of fiction includes descriptions of homosexual love between two males, male masturbation, anal sex, undressing, and nudity. Please do NOT read if you are not of legal age or if this material does not interest you.
Otherwise, ENJOY! 
My Modern Bahamut
By Furio
7/16/2009
Chapter 5 - The. Three. Words.
Pre-Note: I dedicate this particular chapter to a very special, particular bear and friend of mine. Thank you, L. *hugs him close to my heart*
"Heh, sounds like one helluva dream," said Jeremy, giggling into his milkshake.
I grinned and felt my muzzle heat up a bit at the embarrassment of it, but still felt good to talk with Jeremy so openly about our dreams and feelings. It was December 16th, almost a week before Christmas, and we had just gotten through midterms together. As usual, I passed with grades that were average and above, physics being my weakest point. Jeremy shared that weakness, though, so it only felt good to celebrate by getting some unhealthy food and bringing it back to Griffiths Park.
"Sounds like you don't remember everything about it, though," said Jeremy.
I nodded. "It's a dream, Jer. I don't remember dreams well unless I write them down after I wake up, and I don't keep a pen and paper handy by the bed."
"You should, it might be fun to keep a dream journal. Besides, you told me two others that are weird enough to analyze."
I laughed a bit into my burger. "That second one was the weirdest. I have no idea where I was or what was happening...I just remember feeling....warm...and happy."
"I hope you feel that way again," said Jeremy, looking at me for a while. I turned to look at him. He really had the warmest eyes...warm enough to rekindle those dream's feelings.
"Any word from your dad?" he asked.
I turned back to my food and shook my head. "He promised me, though. I gotta find out what's bothering him, and why he's so angry at me."
"I don't think he's angry at YOU, Nate," said Jeremy. "I think there's something else...something he's worried about telling you."
I shook my head. "Doesn't it look like HE'S my son, and I'M the father? I mean, isn't this sort of problem usually reversed?!"
We both laughed, surprisingly. "Actually," said Jeremy, "I think it happens in families who experience a death....all the members can become confused and frightened, and act like children. That's what happened...."
"...In your family?" I finished. Jeremy nodded sadly.
"I miss my dad," whispered the bear, putting down his milkshake.
We said nothing for a while, but then I remembered something rather suddenly. "Jer..."
"Yeah?" he asked.
"What...what did he tell you?"
The bear cocked his head. "I don't understand."
"What did he...your father...tell you when you....you know..." I made motions with my foreclaw that hinted at an explosion at groin level.
"O-oh," said Jeremy, hunching his shoulders in a cute, yet embarrassed manner. "I thought I told you."
I shook my head. Jeremy looked down at his lap. "I love you," he whispered.
I smiled broadly. "That's really beautiful," I said, surprising myself at how easily the word "beautiful" now came to my muzzle.
"No," said Jeremy, shaking his huge head and smiling. "You don't understand. He really meant that. I mean, he looked at me like this," Here he faced my directly, his eyes fixated on mine, fully open, "and he said every word completely...like..."
"I. Love. You."
I was looking into Jeremy's eyes. My heart was racing. I could even feel my slit, beneath my jeans and boxers, starting to open. But I wasn't caring. I found myself repeating what he had said: "I. Love. You."
"Yeah," whispered Jeremy. "Like...like he meant every word. Like...'I'...he, my father, the man who made me...'love'....true love, the real honest, devotional kind...and 'you'....me, his son, his own creation...."
I wasn't really paying attention to what Jeremy was saying. I was looking deep into his eyes. Something inside me was changing...growing...I looked down at his huge belly, which had increased to about 200 pounds or so in the past week. "I like your belly," I mumbled.
Jeremy looked down at it and grinned. "Thanks," he said. "I...I like your footclaws. They're nice and big."
I smiled. My eyes continued to explore him. "You have broad shoulders."
"So do you," whispered Jeremy more quietly. "...and a nice, thick neck."
"Your paws are...nice....and furry," I said, looking down at one of his paws on his lap and slowly taking it in my foreclaws. I turned it over and explored it, noting the thick fur all over, save for the warm, soft, leathery pads on the bottoms.
"Yeah...but...your foreclaws are...you know..." He stroked my leathery skin tenderly. "You're...so warm..."
"So are you," I whispered, raising my head to look up at him. I noticed that his muzzle was closer to mine. In fact, I think it was moving closer.
His eyes traveled all over me again before returning to my eyes. That golden light in them. It was my father's...but the soul inside them...I couldn't turn away from him.
As we moved closer, I could see my own reflection in his eyes. He was looking only at me. And he was moving still closer.
"Jeremy," I whispered.
"Nathan," he mouthed, soundlessly, but I could see his muzzle form the letters.
The truth was there. All I had to do was confess it.
"I'm...gay."
"So am I," he growled, ever so quietly.
Closer. Centimeters apart.
"May I..."
Jeremy moved in suddenly and wrapped his paws around my back, nearly crushing the top folds of my wings. I didn't care, though. I wrapped my foreclaws around him, and felt his muzzle press against mine, a long ursine tongue lolling in my mouth, intertwining with my own tongue for a moment, then running over every single fang, exploring me completely.
I didn't care who saw. If anyone gave me trouble, I'd give him trouble. All I wanted to do was kiss, to explore, to hug, to feel this huge, beautiful, loving bear in my arms.
I didn't neglect to explore his huge, cavernous muzzle, either. But as I kissed him and he kissed me, I realized it. I was gay. I was truly gay. And, I am now sure, more than I was at that time, that I was falling in love.
I was gay. I was in love. And I was kissing another male. A bear.
We let go very slowly. I opened my eyes. His eyes were half-shut, and he looked like he was in that thin veil between dreaming and waking up. He was absolutely beautiful.
"Wow..." was all I could say.
"Yeah," whispered Jeremy, who grinned widely, looking like he was about to laugh.
I was suddenly aware that I was feeling quite hot, even with the snow and cool air all around us. I wondered if there was a steam cloud surrounding us, and giggled a bit at the silly thought.
I was also aware that there was a considerably noticeable lump in my boxers. And Jeremy was looking right down at it.
Without moving his head, his glance shot up back to my eyes.
"I want you," he growled.
It's funny how the word "want," when replacing the word "love," can multiply the sexual feelings by a million percent. The continued growls and puffs of steam coming from Jeremy's nostrils only served to increase my own.
"I...want you, too," I hissed, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sense of lust fill my heart and brain.
Jeremy looked around him quickly. "You know...any place...where we can..."
My brain racked violently. I thought momentarily of just taking him somewhere behind a tree or bush and devirginizing each other there, but then I realized that that might be problematic, especially as a few older park-goers were already giving us a few contemptible looks.
I shot my glance back to him. "Your place?"
Jeremy shook his head. "My mom," he said. "Yours?"
I rolled my eyes. "My dad," I said.
We both sighed in extreme agony. How we wanted to experience this moment with each other!!!
"Well..." said Jeremy, "We could...you know..."
"What?"
He grinned, and looked up at me slowly. "We could...go home now...and...think about each other..."
A horrible truth suddenly dawned on me. I had never actually "jacked off."
My smile broadened so wide, it seemed to shock Jeremy. "Do you...do you mind?!" I asked eagerly.
Jeremy giggled. "Not at all....I'd be flattered."
We both started giggling madly, like little girls. We got up quickly, readjusted ourselves discretely, and picked up our things, throwing the rest of our food in a nearby trashcan. We ran quickly to the entrance of the park, stopping only to face each other.
"Have fun," said Jeremy, grinning and snickering a little.
"You too," I said. "And...and Jer?"
"Yeah?"
I closed my muzzle and gave a more sincere smile. "Thank you."
Jeremy breathed so deeply, I could see his entire body swell and deflate nicely. "You're...the best friend I ever had," he said, his eyes appearing to dim over a bit. He waved a paw and ran off from me as fast as he could.
I smiled and ran, too, never more eager to return home in my life.
********************************
I got in the front door, swung down my backpack, and caught my father in the kitchen. Amazingly, though, I didn't really stop to say anything more than "Hi, dad," before running upstairs.
"Uh, sport, don't you want dinner?" asked my dad questioningly.
"Oh, yeah...I'll be down soon, dad! Promise!" I ran up the stairs, not bothering to hear or notice my dad's response, ran into my bedroom, locked the door, and leaned against it, breathing heavily.
My body was wet, and I was shivering from what felt like a cold sweat. My heart was racing. I was giggling.
This was gonna be good.
Hell, this was gonna be fucking awesome.
I pulled off my shirt, unbuckled my belt, and let my large jeans fall to the floor. I kicked them aside. I stood in front of the mirror, and grimaced, feeling my penis already retreat into my body.
Ugh, I still looked weird, with a small torso and a huge lower body. And yet, did Jeremy still find me attractive? That thought made me smile again.
I tilted the mirror down a bit to focus only on my lower body. That was better. I smiled at my thick, muscular legs, and my huge, perfect feet. I turned a bit, posing in different ways, loving the way my body was shaped. In fact, for the first time, I felt very eager for the next Quickening, to see what my whole body would transform into. I smiled.
Then I looked at my boxer shorts, straining around my waist. My penis had completely retreated while I was thinking and looking at my deformed body, but the fact was, that didn't bother me so much. It was actually better, because I wanted to see if it was true. I wanted to see if I could coax out my first erection, by my own foreclaw.
I hooked my claws around the edges of my waistband and stretched it out around. Slowly I pulled my boxers off, lifting each one of my feet through the underwear and finally tossing it aside.
My bare draconic crotch finally showed, the slit very difficult to see, but right there before my eyes.
I looked at it, wondering if I could truly grow erect at this time. I sighed, thinking about my penis and how it was shaped, almost wishing for the erection.
Nothing happened.
I breathed deeply and closed my eyes, this time, thinking of Jeremy.
Mmm....that did it.
The warmth in my abdomen. It was coming back. I opened my eyes and looked at my crotch, my eyes widening and my muzzle opening in an open smile.
The slit...was opening.
It was widening into what looked like a cavernous hole in my crotch, and...I watched something peep out. Something thick and slightly pointed. A pink rod of flesh that was thickening before my eyes and growing larger and larger by the second. Four inches...five inches...seven inches...my heart raced as I watched it continued to grow.
Nine inches.
I couldn't believe it. Nine inches. I was endowed! I was perfectly well-endowed!
"Fuck," I whispered. "I'm....hot..."
I looked down at my perfectly erect penis, which was bent slightly to look up at me, as if questioning what it wanted from me. I giggled again, and looked at its reflection in the mirror.
This was my penis. I was gazing on it for the first time...
...and yet...it seemed familiar, somehow...
I brought up one of my foreclaws to touch it, but hesitated. If it felt this good now, what would it feel like, upon TOUCHING it?
I stepped back from the mirror, suddenly feeling a bit unstable on my footclaws. I moved to the bed and practically fell on it, moving up to the pillows and lying on my back, foreclaws at my sides, breathing deeply, my stomach moving up and down in rhythmic fashion.
I didn't want to rush this. This was my first time. And as promised, I would be thinking about Jeremy. The bear. The FAT bear.
I closed my eyes. The fantasy started.
****************************************
He was standing before me, dressed in his huge oversized t-shirt and jeans. Bare-pawed. His back to me.
He turned around slightly, to fix only one eye on me. "See anything you like?" he said in that cute, low, growly manner.
"Yeah," I whispered. "You."
He grinned again and turned towards me, walking towards me slowly.
I looked down at that huge bulge of fat that I found myself nearly obsessed with for some reason. "And that belly."
"You like it?" he said, patting it and stroking it.
I said nothing, but reached out, stroking the belly through his shirt with my claws, idly drawing patterns and designs all over it.
"You want it?" he asked.
I nodded, hearing myself growl...hungering for it.
"Then free it," he said, paws at his sides. I looked down at that belly again...trapped by the confines of that fucking shirt!!!!
"FUCKING....CLOTHES!" I roared out loud, and proceeded to grab at his shirt, ripping and tearing it into three pieces, then more and more as I tore off every single fiber, exposing pound after pound of thick, brown, beautiful furry flab!!!!
He growled and tore at mine, too, ripping off my shirt to expose my still small, yet muscular torso. He spread those huge furry paws around it, making me growl and murr in utter pleasure.
"My....pants...." I mumbled. "So....tight..."
"Take them off," growled Jeremy.
I fumbled at my belt, yanking it off, and noticing that Jeremy was trying to remove his, too. I pulled it off for him, and we started trying to undo the buttons around the tops of our jeans. We growled in frustration, unable to do it properly in the heat we were smothered in.
"FUCK THIS!" roared Jeremy, ripping my jeans from top to bottom with dreamlike, supernatural strength. I tore his jeans off, too, and soon, we were wrestling each other on the ground, clawing at the remnants of our outer garments, becoming fully feral, wild animals in heat.
Finally, they were off. Nothing was left but our boxer briefs, stretched tightly around already erect penises. I was on top of him, and he was underneath me. I felt a huge, hot, furry belly push against me with every breath.
"Touch it," he whispered between labored breaths.
I knew he meant his belly, so I did so. I sat back on my haunches and gazed long at the huge, perfect dome of fat and fur that lay before me, moving slightly with his breathing. I spread my foreclaws around it, feeling it completely. I floated one foreclaw over the fur, watching it stand up and rise with growing arousal.
"Beautiful," I whispered.
Stroking became caressing. Caressing became pressing my foreclaw INTO his belly. Pressing became grabbing clawfuls of fat, turning into molding and squeezing, then kissing and burying my huge muzzle into the most perfect belly I had ever known!
"MMMFFFMMYFFFFYYYYEAHHHH!!!!" I roared into his belly, loving it and its owner so much!!!
"Nathan," whispered Jeremy quietly. I looked up, and saw he was looking at me, a forepaw raised, holding a thick, chocolate covered doughnut.
"Make it grow."
My heart raced as I moved closer to Jeremy's muzzle, taking the doughnut delicately in my foreclaw. He slowly opened his muzzle wide, and I moved that doughnut to it...
Closer and closer to his muzzle...inside....he closed it....squeezing out delicious food into his muzzle...
I could almost sense it traveling down his throat. Deep into his gut. I could FEEL it swell beneath me with added calories and fat.
And it excited me so much.
"More," murred the bear I loved. Another doughnut appeared out of thin air. I took it and fed him again. His stomach rumbled.
"More!!" he growled as more doughnuts appeared and I kept feeding him, cramming sweet, delicious food into his maw, feeling him grow beneath me!!
"MOOOORRRREE!!!" he roared as he suddenly took me into his arms and pressed his muzzle against mine! I could taste all the creamy doughnuts in my own muzzle as we kissed and rolled over each other again and again, feeling nothing but lust and hunger for each other in our hearts! He rolled me over onto my back, and I watched him practically grow above me as he stood on his hind legs. Not just his belly, but EVERY part of him...his legs...his head...his arms...his paws.... He towered over me, and I felt absolute love, respect, desire, and passion for him.
I stood up. He still stood a good three or four feet over me, and looked older, too, but still more beautiful than ever. He smiled down at me, patting the mammoth gut of his happily and looking at me with nothing but the biggest, warmest, love imaginable.
"I want to see it," he said quietly.
I knew what he meant. Slowly I hooked my claws around my waistband again, and pulled them down, exposing my nine inch penis, which I knew would pale in comparison to what he would show me.
"Beautiful," he whispered, reaching out to stroke it with the back of one claw, which felt like heaven. "You'll father some good children with that penis."
"I'd only be happy," I said, "If I could father them...with you..."
He looked at me. "To be a father of our children?"
"Yes," I whispered, my heart and head inebriated with lustful thoughts.
He growled and smiled. "But I want to give you that egg," he said, rubbing my chest with the thumb of one paw. "I want to plant MY seed in you...for YOU to father OUR child...OUR creation."
The thought of laying an egg that would contain the product of our love only aroused me more.
"Then do it," I said, lying down and lifting my thick legs to heaven.
********************************************************
Outside of the fantasy, I was already holding my penis, my brain awash in hormones and heaven. I was stroking it, feeling the warmth of sex surround me, concentrating only on Jeremy, and my sick, unique, delicious fantasy. This was MY time...MY body....MY beloved animal...and I was going to fucking enjoy it!!!!
********************************************************
"Hold me, Jer," I said, as I felt the huge ursine move down and wrap me in his body. I don't know, but he was able to do it while moving his penis gently around my waist, and down lower to the tiny hole that was my anus.
I swallowed and closed my eyes. I could feel it grow. I could feel myself widen to accommodate Jeremy. And I felt a solid, thick, warm, feeling enter me, so slowly and lovingly, like a puzzle piece that had been missing and finally completed. Tears came to my eyes. I opened them to see a blurred image of Jeremy's huge ursine head looking at me. Nothing but love. Nothing but warmth.
*********************************************************
I held onto my reddening penis tightly, stroking it faster and faster. The warmth inside me, in my testicles, was increasing to a blazing fire. I pressed another foreclaw over my heart, feeling it hammer away. My body was dripping in sweat. I was laughing, giggling, saying Jeremy's name over and over, the fantasy becoming blurry and surreal, and yet so incredibly pleasurable.
I closed my eyes again. Images flashed across my vision. One of Jeremy, fully clothed. One of his belly. A fully grown dragon, looking at me with love and even lust. Jeremy's footpaws. My own footclaws. Our legs. Our joined paw and foreclaw. Us kissing.
I saw him again over me, penetrating me. I could only imagine what it would feel like, to be filled, to be fully and completely loved by a bear like him! I stroked faster and faster, feeling a drop of something wet issue out of the tip of my penis....
I saw the egg. The egg I would lay, that we would create together. Orange and speckled, it began to shake. I saw my own penis, and his forepaw reaching out to tenderly hold it and stroke it for me.
I saw my tail lifting higher, exposing my tight anus. I saw what seemed like a huge heart beating wildly, pumping blood to some unknown source.
Sweat from Jeremy's fur glistening like diamonds, dripping onto me as he pumped harder and harder into me.
Huge round, ursine footpaws, facing me....thick rubbery soles, just hungering to be touched, kissed, massaged, and thoroughly loved...
My foreclaw gently sliding a ring onto on his finger, holding mine tenderly.
A young orange dragon looking at me, growing before my eyes, older and older.
The egg again, shaking violently.
Jeremy's muzzle as I fed him doughnut after doughnut, that belly growing larger and larger.
Then my heart stopped.
My father.
I saw him. Looking at me. A serious expression on his face. Then his whole body. Closeups of his body. Every part. His chest, his legs, his muzzle. His groin.
His feet.
Then his face again. The expression softened and he smiled.
"Nathan," he whispered.
My heart began racing again. I moaned and roared in passion. "D-daddy..."
He was on top of me, penetrating me this time. He was fucking me.
I blinked. No, it was Jeremy.
I blinked again. Dad.
The two forms morphed into each other, saying my name with more and more lustful desire.
"Nnnnnnatthhannnnnn..."
I rocked my head side to side, screaming with what felt like the perfect mix of pain and pleasure. "D-DAD! JER!!!! W-WHO..??!!"
I opened my eyes to see both of them standing above me...both completely erect. Facing each other. Stroking their penises gently, smiling at each other, then at me.
"Cum," whispered my father.
The egg shook more and more violently. A crack appeared.
"Cum," whispered Jeremy, licking his muzzle.
They got down on the ground. They were both over me, smiling moving closer....
"Cummm..." they both growled.
Their footpaws pushed against my legs...two pairs of the most perfect feet I had ever known...
Both of their muzzles pressed against mine. Two tongues wrapped around mine, uniting us all.
I felt myself stuffed. Filled. Penetrated. Completed.
By two.
"CCCCCCCCCCCUUUUMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!"
The egg burst open, revealing an orange baby dragon.
********************************************************
"AAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!" I screamed, bucking my hips violently and feeling a burning, liquid feeling rush through my long penis.
"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!!" I felt splatters of creamy fluid splash on the wall above me, on my head, on my muzzle, on my neck and chest.
"JEREMY! DAD! I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! HOLLLLLLD MEEEEEEEEEE!!!" I kept screaming and roaring, not thinking about or caring who heard or noticed. I kicked my legs up in the air and stomped the bed over and over with my gigantic footclaws as the effects of my seemingly first orgasm filled every part of my being: mind, body, and soul.
My head felt hot and heavy as I slumped back on the pillow, flattening my body out across the bed, feeling my gooey semen begin to liquefy and drip down my sides. I moaned and got up from the bed slowly, realizing I somehow had to clean myself up.
That's when I heard rapid, heavy footsteps, moving away from the other side of my door.
I stopped, dead in my tracks. Watery semen began to drip onto the carpet.
I quietly, very quietly, tiptoed to the door, pulled it open, and looked around through the crack. No one.
I opened it fully and looked down.
Huge, draconic footprints were pressed deeply into the carpet.
I shivered in fear and turned to spot something odd on the other side of the bedroom door. I knelt down to look at it more closely.
A stain...a large blob of something white...and gooey...sliding down the doorframe.
I moved a shaky claw to it and scraped a bit of it off, bringing it close to my eyes.
As it slid down my claw and into the palm of my foreclaw, I could almost imagine the sperm inside...the same sperm that made me nearly seventeen years ago.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
**************************************************************
We ate in silence.
I didn't say anything. He didn't, either. I felt very scared, confused, and worried. Every now and then I looked up from my plate to see if my dad was giving me any hints that he would say something or wanted me to say something. Nothing. He continued to eat normally, with a very blank expression on his avoiding face.
As I finished my last bite of meatloaf, I brought the plates to the sink, washed them, cleaned up my placemat, and went upstairs for an early night.
I didn't want the talk any longer. I was dreading Christmas.
**************************************************************
December 24th.
I woke up to a bright and quiet morning. Outside, snow had piled up, and I snorted angrily, realizing that I would have to shovel snow, if dad hadn't done it already. Scenes of such beauty were always marred by the idea of hard work. So much for childhood pleasures.
After dressing in a sweatshirt and jeans, I walked downstairs to a quiet kitchen. I looked around for my father, and saw him in the den again, this time hanging ornaments on a small, but nice-looking tree. Our only Christmas decoration, being put up the night before the big day.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey," he said back. Our conversation really was limited to sentences of less than four words these days.
But I broke that for the time being. "You didn't need to do that, dad."
My dad shrugged. "I wanted to." He picked up another ornament, a small plastic red apple, and held it in his foreclaw, looking at it for a long time.
After about a minute, I ventured an inquiry. "What is it?"
"Nothing," he said quickly, and hung up the ornament. I instantly recognized it as one I made in kindergarten years ago. It had a photo of myself as a young hatchling. I noticed that dad kept lingering his gaze on it. He then turned to me.
I blinked in surprise. That expression...was one of respect, it seemed.
"Dad?" I asked.
"Go shovel the walk and driveway, Nathan. I've got things covered here." He went back to hanging and organizing ornaments.
I frowned, but didn't dare sigh, as that had netted me enough punishments when I was younger. I turned around, went to the coat closet to get the shovel, and walked outside, where a foot of snow awaited my bare footclaws. Being a dragon, my feet were often used to extreme temperatures. For how long, though, I wasn't sure.
As I shoveled snow into strategic piles, my frown got stronger, and I felt my body heat up with a bit of anger. Was this my dad's way of getting me out of the house, and away from him as much as possible? Why didn't he just TELL me that he was upset with me?
But then another part of my brain butted in. What was the cum on my doorframe and the footprints from? He was outside my door? Doing what? Listening to me? Getting excited? Jacking off?? How could he hate me and get excited by me at the same time?
All these thoughts collided in my brain and made me think my dad was just fucking sick and needed some mental help. I dug the shovel into the snow with more and more force, flinging it rather roughly into the piles, feeling the rage inside me just build up. When I was finally done about half an hour later, I took a deep breath.
I needed to get away from here for a while.
I went back in the house, wiping my footclaws on the rug and putting away the shovel. "Dad," I called out, "I'm going for a walk. I'll see you later."
I heard a loud clanking sound as an ornament or something dropped. My father rushed in from the other room. "Are you coming back?"
Of course I was. But what came from my stupid muzzle was, "What do YOU care?"
"WHAT was that?!" roared my dad angrily.
I glared at my father. His mental status was really pissing me off. "I said, 'What do YOU care', dad!! You don't give a shit about what happens to--"
I was interrupted by a hard smack across the muzzle from my dad's foreclaw. How I wanted to hit him back. And with more force. After all, I think HE was the one who needed a smack upside the head.
"You do NOT talk to me that way, Nathan Sinnert!"
"And when SHOULD I talk, dad?!! I can't ask you anything anymore without you screaming or going crazy or whatever!! I can't talk to you about anything, and you don't want to talk to ME about anything, either!"
"I promised you that I would talk to you before Christmas!" His roar was gone, but the stone firmness of his voice was ever-present.
"Dad, forget it. I don't want to hear it now." I turned to leave.
"Because you hate me?"
I paused at the door. No, dad, I wanted to say. I love you. I'm in love with you. You're just making it so fucking difficult.
"Nathan...promise me you'll come back tonight. Please."
That soft growl was enough to melt my heart. I leaned my head against the door.
"I promise, dad...n-now please...let me go out for a while."
He didn't say anything, and I didn't wait. I opened the door and let myself out, my footclaws clicking on the concrete steps and on the paved driveway. I walked down the sidewalk, not looking back. I still wonder if my dad had stood in the doorway, watching me go. I rubbed my face again, momentarily sniffing back tears at the pain I was still feeling.
I would come back, yes. To the truth.
*************************************************
I walked quite a few blocks. I considered going to Jeremy's place, but he and his mother were going away for Christmas, much to my chagrin. Still, we parted on good terms, promising to get together after Christmas to lord presents over each other. That is, assuming I got any this year.
Instead, I walked to another local park, by the side of an iced-over pond. There was nobody around, as everybody was at home with family or away for the holidays. I brushed off the snow on a bench and sat down, looking at the icy surface of the water, wondering how it felt below, and how much of the water was actually frozen.
I contemplated the past few months since my mother died. So much had changed, and yet, I figured that everything was the same. I might as well have still been wearing the black suit and tie, and keeping up the silence between my father and myself. My body had changed. My sexuality had blossomed. I found a bear I was head over footclaws for, and my father and I were getting friggin' mental with each other.
My father. I looked down at my huge feet, slowly wiggling my toeclaws, already starting to feel rather numb with cold.
But I didn't feel numb. I had seen too many guys like that in school to even WANT to become like them. I wanted to keep feeling things, even if they hurt.
My mind went back to my father. The dragon was still so central to my life at this point, but I was afraid of him.
I looked down at my jeans, at the crotch area. Beneath lay a great secret that no one would dare talk about or even see. The seeds of my body...a legacy within me, waiting to be planted...to grow...to develop.
My muzzle warmed up as I felt my shoulders shake with cold and sadness.
If 'I' became a father, how would I treat MY child? What would I say to him? What would happen between us? Could I even take CARE of somebody else?
I felt like this was my responsibility now, with my father. There was no one to take care of him, and yet he had to take care of me. Wouldn't it only make sense for me to be his?
I sighed sadly. I loved my father. I truly did. But it hurt. It hurt so much.
I looked at my wristwatch, realizing the day was getting pretty dark already, and things were getting colder. My footclaws were so cold, and I realized they'd be even colder by the time I got back.
So I got up and trudged back home, readying myself to face a night of ranting, raving, crying, hurt, problems, and, impossibly, the best Christmas of my entire life.
You heard me.
To be concluded.....in Chapter 6.
Post-note: What do you think? :) I kind of liked writing this chapter, especially the "fantasy" portion, where ANYTHING could happen, no matter how ludicrous. ;) And yes, things are finally coming to an ultimate point in the next chapter, and I only hope the buildup will be worth it. Please continue to comment if/when you can and let me know what works and what doesn't.
And to all those who love my stories, guess what: I love you, too. *HUGE happy walrus/bear hugs!!!!* Thanks once again, and take good care of yourselves!!! :)