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I sat in the back

of mom's minivan, she offered the front seat but I wanted to be as far from her

as I could."Sean are you

excited for Disney?" She asked me.I snorted loudly."What was

that?""Oh yeah mom,

I'm so thrilled that we get to go on and pretend the last several months didn't

happen," I said"I wish we all

had made better choices," she said.I wouldn't look at

her although I saw her eyes on me in the mirror....I watched the

scenery flash past as we drove past farm after farm on the way home on I90...."Your sisters

are excited to see you and so is Xander," she said. Just hearing his name

made me flinch."Great more

people that will want to pretend I wasn't gone for months," I said

forehead resting against the window."Honey, I'm

sorry..." mom said."For what,

you're only picking me up now," I snapped."Oh... yes,

Uhm... I cleaned your room, I know how you don't like your things getting moved

around," she said."What the hell

is she crying, serves her right, I can't believe I have three more hours of

this fucking drive," I thought."So why didn't

dad come," I said acidly."He is getting

things set for the trip and the O'Connell's are uncomfortable," Mom said."So Xander's

not coming this year, that's fine," I said."Oh no... He

is, but Mr. O'Connell wasn't happy dad sent you to... camp," mom said.Despite wanting

everyone to leave me alone, I liked hearing that...."You got a

letter a few weeks ago honey," mom said."Great..."

I said."It's from a

Neal Schmitz, is he a German pen pal?" Mom asked."No... Did you

and dad read that letter too?" I asked."No honey, we

didn't, here it is," she said passing it back.I unbuckled and

grabbed it, "about time you both learned to treat your kids like

people."We were coming up

on a rest stop but I just stared at the envelope."Honey I...

I'll be right back," mom said then she ran to the bathroom crying."Good

riddance," I thought happily, then I got out having to pee as well.After I got back to

the car mom still hadn't come back I dozed off waiting.When I came too we

were back on the freeway, nearing the Columbia-Vantage area and all the power

wind mills."How did you

sleep honey," mom asked."Fine...""So how do you

know this Neal and is he German?" Mom asked."He's Brazilian

and from Tacoma, I met him at camp, it just so happens he has a religious

fucker for a parent too," I said.Moms hissing breath

made me smile.She didn't talk to

me anymore, so I tore open Neal's letter."Dear Sean, I don't know if I

remembered your address or if you'll want to read this. But I want to thank

you, I'm sorry you got in trouble you were the best part of camp and that Litterday.

If you want to talk let me know, I'll be at the UW this fall too. I was angry

when I got home, because everyone wanted me to be the same as I was before,

they don't get it. I wrecked some friendships, well what was left of them, with

high school friends. It didn't help. But I did find something to help with the

block if you want it text me." I set aside the letter

happy, sad but mostly confused.We rode in silence

till we reached Issaquah.Mom asked,

"Are you at least looking forward to the trip?""I'm looking

forward to college and getting the hell away from you all," I said."I see... you

know Sharron and Sam chose out of state schools, I don't think they had decided

before you know," mom said."That makes

sense why would we go to school together, it's about time we lived our own

lives," I said.Mom didn't speak

again till we got home."I missed

you," mom said when we pulled up to the home."Cool..."

I got out of the van and headed inside ignoring Sharron and Samantha as they

ran down the hall. Went into my room and packed.I ignored the

whispers outside my door."Mom what's

wrong with him," Sam asked."I know you're

excited to see him but he doesn't want to see us right now, let's let him alone

ok," mom said."Fine, in a

second," Sharron said, "We all miss you and love you, even if you

don't love or even like us."Half packed I broke

down at her words, so I threw myself on my bed to hide under the distantly

familiar blanket and fell asleep.Dad woke me up,

"sport are you ok?" I didn't want to see

him, "why would you care.""Because I

love you," He said after flinching."Sure didn't feel

like it the last several months," I said."Ah I see the

attitude your mother mentioned," Dad said."Maybe there's

a camp for it," I said.Dad sat blinking at

me as if I had slapped him."I see it may

have done more harm than good," Dad said then got up, "The

O'Connell's and Xander will be here in a few minutes you may want to treat them

with the love you seem to lack for your own family."I felt like

throwing something at the door, I grabbed the nearest object but it was the

photo of me and Xander from school, I flung it away from myself in surprise.

Dad must have put it there or had it replaced. I never got my journal back. Seeing

that horrible photo made my whole body ache. "Fuck everyone

and everything," I said. I shoved the photo under the bed and finished

packing.I glared at the

roof hurdling daggers at the Alpha for who I was and everything that happened

to me."I'm small but

no one will make me do what they want unless I want too again, never

again!" I growled at my reflection in my closet mirror.I heard the doorbell

ring downstairs.  Sean woke sore and hurting everywhere, his gut was

throbbing with sharp discomfort, and his maw was dry from the forced air. He

was dizzy and his multiple dreams had him confused and angry.Sean tried to speak but the words were garbled, "wheah,

am ay!""Son you're awake," Dad said moving to the bed.Sean felt an unchained rage, "whu ahre you

heir?""Let me help you with that," Dad said.Sean slapped away his father's paw when he reached for Sean's

muzzle.Sean scraped the breath mask off."What are you doing here?" he asked coldly."You had a bad chemical interaction, you accidentally

took Oliver's medicine," Dad said, "are you ok?""Like you care?" Sean said then tried to sit

up. He got too dizzy too stay upright and fell back into the pillows."Are you ok?" Dad asked trying to check the

pillows."Get away from me," Sean snapped."I... I'm sorry are you ok," Dad asked."I'll be better once you leave," Sean said.He blinked at Sean in confusion and hurt then left the

room.Sean felt tubes and objects intruding in his arm and

penis, he felt violated and disgusted as he flailed trying to sit up.Dad, mom and that Tabby nurse from his last visit returned

to the observation area.The intercom crackled, "Mr. Miller please lay

down.""No I'm getting the fuck out of here," Sean

snapped."Lay down and I'll get someone to help you,"

the nurse said."You can't make me I'll take care of it

myself," He said."You can injure yourself don't make me come in there

I don't want to make you... but you're allergic so... I can and I will, you

can't stop me," she said."You'll make me, you'll force me, fuck you," Sean

snapped."I'm sorry no I won't force you but please for your

safety let me get a none feline to help you," she pleaded.He relented, "well hurry up!"The nurse rushed away."Sean honey what's wrong?" Mom asked....."Honey are you ok?"...Before she could speak again Sean snapped, "No Alpha

damnit, no I'm not alright... you two put me through hell, and... and I hate

you for it."Sean was crying but between angry sobs he growled,

"you wanted to make me straight so you let some cunt fucker abuse me... to

make me feel pain at the idea of sex the way I'm fucking wired... mom I'm not

ok and I'm done pretending."Mom and Dad looked afraid and hurt.The tabby returned with the Raccoon nurse.The Raccoon came in closed the blinds and washed her

paws."Are you ok Mr. Miller?" She asked."Do I look ok?" He asked rolling his eyes."No you don't but I'll do whatever I can to

help," she said.He was still fuming but realized he wasn't angry with

her, "thanks I just want to get gone.""Ok let me get your IV, and please breathe normally

when I get the catheter," she said."Easy for you to say," Sean said.After she finished he asked, "Where are my

clothes?"Mom answered through the intercom, "in the cabinet

next the sink.""I didn't ask you," Sean snapped, he wobbled to

his feet and then the cabinet.The nurse turned in a hurry as he stripped his hospital

gown and dressed."Where are my meds?" He asked."Sean you took Oliver's there not here," Dad said

via the intercom."So Oliver has them," Sean said then tried to

walk normally to the door and leave."Sir, I don't think you should go you just had

a-""Legally you can't detain me..." he glared at

mom and Dad, "something I wish I knew long ago." Then breezed past

them.Dad trotted after him, "Sean where are you going son

you need to rest."Sean spun shoving Dad ineffectively in the chest because

of the size difference, wanting to knock him to the floor, "I will do as I

see fit you can't make me do anything anymore.""Sean what's wrong with you?" Dad asked wide

eyed."Everything, nothing, pray to the Alpha Dad, figure

it out," Sean yelled then stormed off.Sean felt his dad's paw on his shoulder, he was so angry

he turned and hit him just as he hit Xander, but he didn't feel sorry this

time. Dad didn't follow.

He pulled out his phone noting it was late then scheduled

a retriever to pick up two blocks over, and walked that way.