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_ Part 10 _

(Alen)

Down on the ground I found myself, sunlight flowing through the balcony doors. The tan carpeting below, the glass coffee table above; it shone and sparkled off everything, lighting the whole living room in a blissful glow.

The fabric beneath warmed my feet, sinking and flexing in support of my steps. Across the room, both Maleni and Visoka apartment doors sat in wait. Closed but never out of reach.

Striding across the room came easy, stature no issue here. The warmth of the air danced in my nostrils, soothed my lungs, eased my chest.

A loud groan cut through the room, disturbing the peace. Rumbling followed, strong enough to lift me off my feet for all but a moment. I stopped, unsure of myself, until both came all over again.

The front door returned to my focus. Not all that far away. I could make it there with ease if I ever had to. That made it all the easier to stay.

Something large moved into view from the hallway around the corner, filling the room with another grumble. The air grew even warmer, even more soothing to my nose and lungs.

"Morning," Jonas croaked, rubbing his eyes. Another rumbling step brought him into the room, upping the need to crane my neck all the way. His brown love handles poured out from the lighter fur of his stomach, balancing above the elastic of his form-fitting boxers. "You're up early."

That big tail swished through the air, frizzed and matted as the rest of him. Not that a case of bedfur could make him any less easy on the eye.

"Hope it wasn't an attempt at getting away from me." High above, I couldn't miss the wide taunting smirk emerging. Heavy footpaws crashed towards me, carrying his large frame looming overhead. "I won't let you go all that easily."

He filled my view completely, until there was nothing in this world but him. A low growl shook the entire room. Those wide calves and thighs stretched up either side of me, flexing and shifting to negotiate the hips and midriff above down towards the ground.

Thick paws reached out, gunning right for me. I didn't step back. I didn't shirk away. Broad smile on my face, my own tail swaying, I reached up to meet him.

Strong arms took me effortlessly, wrapping me up in firm but comforting muscle. They pulled me into an ocean of creamy brown fur, heat and scent pervading every strand. I'd not stay deep beneath it for all that long. Thump after thump, Jonas carried me over to the couch, settling me down atop the centre cushion.

"Tiny otter," he growled, stepping back with a swagger in his hips. The stripes of his tail swept the air behind him. Almost hypnotic. "Having so much fun peering up at me."

Guilty as charged. I almost squeaked from the way he put his paws on hips, puffing out his chest. The curve of his underbelly framed the bulge of his boxers perfectly. It almost distracted me from the sight of his fists clenching, his biceps flexing.

"I wonder what I'll do with you today." One big paw reached down, splaying, nudging me over. Flat on my back, it kept on coming. His thick pads shifted to practically suck me in. Only my face remained exposed to the toothy grin above.

Even under his weight, I went limp, relaxed. His paw rocked side to side, upping and lowering the pressure applied to each part of my body. I could sprawl out, submit, and let him have his way without a care in the world.

"This is nice," he rumbled, adding, "but maybe... maybe something different is in order."

I tried nosing into Jonas' fur, but he'd already lifted himself away from me. Curious, confused, I lied there looking up at him, watching his grin grow and grow.

He stretched his arms, chest and belly sticking out as if he'd just climbed out of bed. A drawn out grumble sent my ears twitching. Until something far louder forced them upright.

The couch started to tremble, leaving me to do the same. Forget that. Glancing around, watching keys and keepsakes skitter on the coffee table, trophies and trinkets rocking on the mantel, the whole room seemed to be moving.

Jonas' moaning went on and on, as did the shaking. Louder, stronger. The trembling of the couch turned to jumping, bouncing me along with it. The shadow cast upon it grew larger, darker. Above, Jonas himself seemed to stretch up higher. His arms thickened, along with his trunk-like thighs. That stomach hanging over me extended further overhead. Everything about him got bigger, smile included.

"Having fun?" I didn't get the chance to respond. A huge jolt tore through the living room. Decorations scattered and fell. Furniture bounced and crashed to the ground. Light fixtures swung like crazy, until Jonas' head stretched up to press and smash them against the cracking ceiling. I might not have answered him, but I'd wager my smile gave it away.

He stepped back, smashing the coffee table beneath a paw as big as it was. The floor shook heavily, bowing to the added weight impacting upon it.

Crunching crackling could be heard beneath Jonas' echoing roar. Plaster rained down around me, turning the couch a dusty white. The floor sank further, cracks rising and spreading across the walls. Shaking turned to quaking, moving anything that wasn't nailed down, along with most other things that were.

I put a paw to my brow, protecting my eyes as I peered back up to my big... bigger raccoon.

"Want to join me?" he thundered, even with my Normaliser working away. In spite of the apocalyptic noise cutting down to my bones, in spite of the room being torn apart around me, in spite of everything, I didn't think twice over reaching out for him.

Jonas brought down his paw, big enough to have scooped up the entire couch, let alone just me. His massive ringtail swooped around, hefty enough now to smash the wall it slammed against. The extra height forced Jonas to bend from the crumbling ceiling, sending his backside booming into another wall behind him to bring it down with ease.

"We don't have long," he said, laugh like a dozen foghorns wailing as his other arm rose to smash and tear the roof right off our crumbling apartment.

I rushed through the dust, brighter with in sunlight overhead, wasting no time in grabbing onto a finger as thick as I stood tall. Even with his sheer size and staggering strength, his paw curled around me with a softness I'd mistake for nobody else. It took me up with him, scaling his considerable heights until I found myself buried deep within his chest.

The shaking around me slowly ended, as did the crashing and roaring that joined it in tandem. His thunderous heart overwhelmed it all, pulsing through me with breathtaking force. What existed of the world beyond meant nothing at that moment. All that mattered was the one who held me, stretching, taking me higher, to a place where no one, not even Zoran could have ever reached me.

"How do you like the view?" My ears flicked, mouth dropping. Jonas sounded... normal, even if the building-sized paw turning me over was anything but.

Kneeling at the edge of his massive palm, a blunt claw running slowly down my back, what I witnessed would've left me speechless... If Jonas hadn't got me that way already.

A few moments before, I'd have peered down expecting to see the tan carpet of our living room. Instead, I now found a sea of grey all around me. The tops of houses, tower blocks and office buildings spread out in all directions, noticeably swaying beside tiny roads shrinking even smaller by the second. Our apartment building was long gone, as were the others on our complex; nowhere to be seen beyond the forest of brown covering Jonas' expanding midsection.

"I think we can do better." The moment he finished, a gale unlike any other put me flat on my back. I reached out with both paws, gripping what I could of Jonas tight.

Soft clouds filled the sky above us, hurtling on by as the whistling wind gave way to another squeal of air. An almighty, echoing thud came last, as if a bomb had struck. "What do you think?"

I scrambled onto my knees to peer back down again. In no time at all, we'd cleared an entire district, making it all the way to the seafront... or rather, the sea.

A massive wave rippled out from the step Jonas had taken into the water, crashing against the tidal wall downshore, overwhelming the breakwater upshore, and soon striking the beach below us. Blue water overtook every last grain of sand, breaking into white as it spilled over the slope and into the streets. The wash still held the strength to gather up parked cars, rolling and sweeping them into the trembling building fronts the tide finally met its match against.

Jonas wasn't lying when he said he could do better. Such an incredible, breathtaking sight, and all from a single step. "Wow."

His chuckling rocked through me, a single fingerpad enough to bury me completely under his petting. Coarse, solid, but still somehow gentle and affectionate. I spread myself, allowing him to touch and explore every part of me.

Time charged on all the while, faster and faster. Right before my eyes, the sun sank down beyond the horizon, with the moon rising to take its place in seconds. One by one, the stars appeared, growing brighter, piercing the night as we extended still towards them.

I could see everything from here. A whole city in my view, shining bright from further and further below. It helped to calm me. Settle me. And if the distance ever got too much to handle, all I needed to do was look up to find my Jonas hovering with his happy smile.

"Aww... My little ruddertail." Tight into his gigantic chest he took me, enveloping me in his very being. I'd prefer to be no place else in this world. I'd prefer to be with noone else in this world...

My whole body jolted and jumped, heart skipping a beat. A loud cheer sent a bolt of energy racing through me. I sat up, sucking in air, looking every which way for answers to questions I'd yet to identify.

The couch cushion sank around my paws, a flicker of colour catching the corner of my eye.

'A fantastic score by Azarola for Estordor...'

Slapping my paws to my face, rubbing, shaking my head. I pulled myself all the way back into the waking world.

The colours came back again, shining bright through the darkness from the TV. Blinking hard, I turned, seeing half a dozen guys in red and gold uniforms hugging and congratulating each other. Thousands more came into focus next, cheering them on from the stands. It then finally clicked. The movie I'd been watching had long ended, with some Polcian handball game taking its place.

Every part of me seemed tight as I sat myself upright... Some more so than others. I reached down to the waistband of my boxers with a snort, tugging to adjust them around the stiffness beneath.

Whether it came from the less than interesting sport playing out in front of me, or from the sight of the clock about to hit 2am, I flopped onto my back with the yawn to end all yawns. Heavy eyes forced themselves closed while sleepy thoughts piped up to outdo the chanting crowds. Curling up, I began pondering on something I'd become very much accustomed to.

Ever since that afternoon at Riki's, the evening on the beach and the night back here alone together, I'd got to know Jonas so much better. His imperfections. The bad times in his life. On top of that, more importantly, it had also allowed me to discover the most wonderful things about him. His better moments. On more than one occasion, I'd been fearing whether Jonas really was the raccoon I first fell for on that spring evening. Now, I knew for certain he was.

For days, weeks afterwards, I did all I could to make up for the time I'd been distant with him. Sure, we enjoyed our own private, personal time apart, but otherwise, I made sure we ate together, went out together, had quiet times together. Just like before, when we first started out on our relationship together.

Further still, piled up on all of those good times and new experiences... Jonas even agreed to come with me on my first appointment back with my counsellor. That meant the most of all to me. It'd only been a couple of months since the last, but talking to her again seemed like a totally different experience. Getting everything out in the open about the time before 'us' in front of my raccoon, it seemed like I'd lifted an even greater weight off my shoulders than ever. As if Jonas himself had picked it up and tossed it aside, helping me... to feel far more like me again. It was a new habit, but one I wanted to maintain above all else.

Speaking of habits. One that had proved way harder to keep, this evening included, was my decision to stay up and see Jonas home on the Fridays he worked a late shift. Even after I'd had a long day at work myself.

My head got fuzzy. Thoughts slower. Slurred. Jonas came back to me. That sweet, cheek-creasing smile. Way above. Standing there in his black work trousers. And that white shirt that fit him so, so well. Snug in the chest. The arms. The hips. Part of me really wanted to see it again soon... Mostly the part making my boxers even tighter...

Something slammed. I shuddered again, paws gripping the couch. Every single nerve ending jangled.

"Alen?"

Flat on my back, I peered towards the front door. Beyond the arm of the couch stood Jonas, still holding the doorknob.

"Sorry to wake you." He chuckled. "I could hear you snoring all the way from here."

I rolled onto my front, turning him the right way up in my view. "You're not wearing your work uniform."

"Huh?"

"I mean..." That came out way too easy. "Since you were working is all."

"It's pretty cold outside this time of the night." He started on his way to the couch. "No chance was I gonna walk home without wearing a jacket and jumper."

"Makes sense."

"Why?" His brow raised. "You sound disappointed."

"Ah, it's nothing."

"Well, alright," he replied with a small shrug. The TV caught his eye next. "Didn't know you liked handball."

"I don't." I sat myself up. "The movie I was watching before it was decent, though. What I saw of it at least."

"You know you really don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"Wait up for me." Jonas unzipped his jacket, slipping it off his shoulders. "You know how late I'm back after these shifts." He tugged it off completely, tossing it over the back of the chair beside the couch. "Especially when there's a load of clearing up to do."

"Yeah, I know. But I wanted to. Besides, it's Friday. Not like I have to get up tomorrow."

"True," he conceded with a grin, taking off his big jumper next to reveal a loose-fitting t-shirt. Jonas kept his teeth on show all the way over to the seat next to mine. He stopped, turned, reached around to pull that big, wagging tail of his aside. My heart jumped again, but for all the right reasons.

"Ready?"

"Ready," I confirmed, barely getting a second before he threw his hips down.

Up into the air I went, twirling like some kinda gymnast. If I'd not been woken up before, Jonas' crushing drop made damn sure of it now.

The rolling and spinning of the room wouldn't last long. As suddenly as I lifted, I found myself falling into the comfort of Jonas' paws in no time at all.

"That was pretty." He scoffed out a laugh, moving to rub a finger over my stomach. "Not so sure about the landing."

"And what about yours?"

"What about it?"

His touch left me wanting to do nothing but stretch out. Let him rub, stroke, poke, press away with his soft, warm pads. Not just yet, though. "Came down pretty hard on the couch. Don't want you breaking the height control."

"Oh?" He petted under my chin, bringing a grin out of me. "And since when have you worried about that?"

"Not worried. Just don't want to get stuck up here while you're not around is all."

"Ah, come on, now." Those big paws of his lowered, sweeping me against his underbelly. "It's a sturdy thing, this." He gave a few hops in his seat. The creaking beneath us didn't go far to convince me, but the sloshing warmth under his shirt left me not caring much. "See?"

"Maybe so, but it's not like you're your average raccoon."

"And since when have you minded that exactly?"

"Never said I did." I leaned forward to nose into him. My paws meanwhile swept under his shirt, diving into his fur. "Can't say the same about the couch, from all the noise it's making."

His fingers pressed tighter, starting his stomach shifting and sinking. "You way you carry on, you make it sound like I'm gonna bring the whole building down."

I snorted out loud, letting myself fall into him.

"What?" He started to snicker, too. "What's funny?"

"Nothing."

"Daft otter." Deeper and deeper he took me. A comforting hug from each and every direction left me moaning as loud as our seat.

We chatted on about our days for a while after that. I asked about Jonas' shift at the Riki's, while he did the same over my day at the office. Neither of us had anything special to say about them, but that didn't matter to me. Just being here, flopped against him, talking and talking: we could have been discussing paint drying and I'd have still enjoyed it. Judging by how bright his voice sounded, how well it carried through his body to vibrate through mine, Jonas agreed.

"You're not gonna fall asleep down there, are you?" His finger pressed into my back, claw running down to circle my tailbase.

"Wasn't planning on it." My hips pressed forward, grinding almost naturally. "Not just yet."

"That's good." Jonas growled so loud that it made my teeth chatter. His pressing loosened, but only long enough for him to tug his shirt up from his waist. "Figure I've earned a reward after such a long day."

He sprawled out across the couch, carrying me down to the cushions with him. I sank into his fur, his stomach. As if I'd dived headfirst into an ocean. My legs went weak. Arms, too. Not that I'd need to swim through this.

He rocked and rolled, adjusting until he'd scooted over to pin me to the backrest. "You'll be doing pretty well to end up sleeping through what I've got planned for you."

His roaring voice sent a pleasant shiver through me. Stuck fast, nose full of my boyfriend's scent, I did what I could to knead away at his belly. Even under all this, the sound of his tail flicking against the couch carried clearly. Thump after thump sent my ears flicking. My paws working harder.

I bucked forward as best I could against him. Then again. That started Jonas doing the same. Powerful hips ground themselves into the backrest, upping the pressure, squashing me further into him.

We kept up our movement, taking turns to force ourselves upon the other. Of course, I couldn't hope to compete. Faster we got. Harder. My heartbeat followed suit as we got more and more into it. The thunderous crashing got louder. Rolled for longer. I breathed Jonas in, his musk strong enough to taste. The tightness in my boxers had returned and then some.

Down went my guard completely. I gripped what I could of my raccoon, snuggling as close as I could. My body loosened. I left Jonas to do as he wished with me.

Then, surprise. The movement of Jonas' hips slowed. Became softer, uneven. His pressing eventually stopped, leaving me second guessing where we went from here.

He pulled away from the backrest, easing me from off his stomach with a delicate paw. His eyes zoned in on the seat cushion below, giving nothing away, even after he'd settled me there. On paws and knees he waited, filling my view as I lied flat on my back. My breathing got heavier, pumping heart faster, waiting at what I expected to come. Or at least, descend.

But, nothing came. Surprise became disappointment. Jonas just kept on hanging, watching over me. The sneering, playful grin he should have been wearing was nowhere to be found.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he insisted. "Not really."

"Come on. Tell me."

"Just... this I guess."

"Okay." I looked around to try and determine what exactly 'this' involved. "I don't mind." Shifting over, I reached out for his paw, squeezing and rubbing over a finger. "You know you're the only raccoon I'd ever want to do this.

"And non-raccoons?"

"No way." I chuckled, petting harder, but got nothing back. "Please, I'm fine with it, honest... I'll let you."

"I know, I know."

"Then what?"

His paw shifted beside me, turning over to scoop me up in one swift movement. Finally I got a smile, right before he hugged me softly to his cheek.

"I'm not scared. Really."

"I know that, too." The cold of his nose left me squirming as he pressed it into my ear. "For now... All I want is to be close to you. That's all."

My heart rate slowed. My boxers loosened. The excitement that had been building and building had long since trailed off. But not for one second did I regret it.

The soft gusting from his nostrils warmed me. Soothed me. Left me weak-kneed in his hold all over again.

"That's sweet." I pushed against his fingers, shifting to give him a peck on the side of his muzzle. "_You're_sweet."

His high-pitched giggle set me grinning. The kiss he returned even more so. "You're not so bad, either."

It wasn't all too long before I'd told Jonas I had no plans to fall asleep. How things change. Wrapped up tight between his muzzle and paws, the faint petting of his finger down my back, I could've dropped off at any moment.

"Guess it's time we got you off to bed, hmm?"

"Hmm," was as good as I could give back. Heavy eyes had long since closed. I just hoped I'd last long enough to cuddle up with him before we settled down in bed together.

Not even the world shifting with Jonas' upward movement could stir me all that much. He started on his way to our bedroom, paws padding rhythmically below. But it seemed, in a night of surprises, he had one left for me at least.

"It's damn cold out, but looking like a real nice night from up here."

I forced my eyes open, even through the soft burn. We'd changed direction somewhere along the way. Instead of the hallway, the kitchen lied ahead of us now. As did the doors to our balcony on the far side. The lights of our neighbours shined from the apartment buildings around us, joining with those of the streets and houses beyond our complex. Further in the distance still, what we could see of the beachfront glowed fierce with life. Above everything, the stars did what they could to sparkle, too, while the moon's reflection shimmered in the black water stretching off to the horizon. "Guess dreams aren't ever so far away."

"What's that?"

"Oh, nothing." My sleepy head practically dropped against Jonas' neck. "Just agreeing on how nice the view is." I nosed into him. "Both of them."

His cheeks creased, soft moan trembling from his throat to start my whole body doing the same. "Y'know... I got the time booked for another long weekend at the end of the month." A big lick dampened my face while Jonas' whiskers brushed and tickled me nose. He took a moment before adding, "For independence day. The celebrations... Do things right this time."

"I--" Another lick brushed my muzzle; harder, more focused, cutting off my reply before I could make it.

"I got a message from my parents a couple days back." The air from Jonas' nose blew stronger. "They're prepping for the family visit and keep asking all kinds of questions. Trying to find out what to get and prepare for you foodwise. Drinkwise. What kinda games you like to play... It's like the first visit times a thousand." I opened my mouth again, but still he went on. "Toni, too. He's talking about me, you and him doing some movie night... though I'd probably leave you both to it. If you come--"

"Stop." I pushed out my arms before he could lick again. He froze there, tongue hanging dopily. I started to laugh, but what I had to say next came straight from the heart. "I'd love to."

His ears darted upwards. "You would?"

"Totally. I'd love to see everyone again. And be there with you again."

"Great!" Jonas beamed brighter than all of the lights, the stars and the moon combined. He couldn't have cuddled me any tighter, his bouncing heels shifting my stomach up and down. "Oh."

"Oh, what?"

The bouncing stopped. His paws and arms loosened. "What about your next session with Dr. Kozel?"

"It, uh... why?"

"When is it? Will us going away be a problem?"

"No." I chuckled. "Calm down. It's not anything to get worked up about."

"I just want everything to go okay. That's all."

"Well... I'm due to see her again in a couple of weeks; the Monday before Independence Day. So it's fine."

"Good." His relief blew past me. "I'll make sure I'm free to come along for that, too."

"Thanks." My turn to squeeze at his muzzle. "Means a lot."

"It's nothing." His squeezing paws came again, starting my tail swaying. "Nothing at all."

We stayed this way for... I've no idea, but I eased more under his tight hold than I could ever remember. Like I was floating above everything. Totally free and without fear. I struggled to understand how something as simple as a hug managed to be so close, so intimate. Not that I cared for very long.

"You'll always be safe with me," Jonas whispered. As if he'd read my thoughts like a book. "Ruddertail."

The warmth in those brown eyes peering down left me grumbling, squeaking and trembling all at once. I pulled at his muzzle, urging my big raccoon to let me kiss him squarely on its tip. Both paws brushed the sides of his muzzle, sliding through his whiskers. My lips locked to his, not to be budged. My grumbling transferred through to him, as did my trembling. I held Jonas tighter, pulling and pulling, wanting him as close as could be.

Two fingers found each of my shoulders, running down to my waist. Claws pressed into my back, running delicate circles around my hips. Electricity surged through me, sending every part of my being rising to attention. Every sight, every scent, every sense was my Jonas. And I'd have had it no other way.

"I love you," he murmured, pulling back to touch his nose to my cheek.

"Love you, too." I bumped back. How little those three short words could do to share my emotion compared to our embrace.

Jonas swept around, cradling and carrying me back through the kitchen. Off to our bed we went, barely leaving one another's side until the time came to finally curl up beneath our sheets. Here, with our heads resting easily, Jonas' thick, golden-furred chest my mattress, my foundation, we could finally drift off to dream together. Not that any could possibly rival the dream that was my Jonas. Gods willing, he'd be a dream I'd never have to wake from.