Not All Bullies Are Bad, You Know
Not All Bullies are Bad, You Know
copyright 2010 comidacomida
(This is an off-shoot story line from the More Than Friends story, explaining the relationship between a high school friend of Tanner's named J.D. and his human lover, Jason. This is one of my rare first-pirson narratives, but it was necessary in order to correctly convey J.D.'s attitude and outlook. Now, without further ado: the story!)
My life hasn't been all gumdrops and sunshine... anyone whose life has really deserves a firm boot to the crotch-- knock em down a peg. Life is hard, god damn it, and if you think otherwise then you're living in a fantasy world. The only thing that makes it bearable is finding a place for yourself... somewhere you belong. I'm not talking about something like a house-- that's just a fucking possession. I mean something more than that... like a reason for being.
I spent the first seventeen years of my life without one... and let me tell ya, it makes life a living hell. This isn't about some self-help 'express yourself and get hugged' bullshit... this just about me and where I came from. My name is Jack-Daniels; yea... like the fucking alcohol. My mom was a raging alcoholic and she named me after her favorite poison, so it's not as funny as you might think. I go by J.D. anyway... humans are used to us Dogs using abbreviations.
Back in high school I ran with the more physical crowd. Not jocks... I mean the REAL physical crowd... the kind that would beat you up for looking at em weird or kick your ass for not getting out of the way in the hall. I remember this one time a freshman bumped me in the hall... I'm still not sure whose locker I stuffed him into... or how long it took for someone to get him out. Hell... I was an asshole back then; less refined than I am now, if you could believe it. heh heh.
Anyway, there was this one kid... a human. He was a grade down from me and the boys. They really liked picking on him. Had a lot of names for him too. Can't think of a time they ever bothered roughing him up at all-- he knew his place, and pretty much took whatever they dished out at him. He was a piece of work, really... managed to get through the day without a single comment back at any of em... any of US, really. I threw a fair amount of shit his way too after awhile... I think more than I did to almost anyone else without involving my fists. I did it because I knew he could take it. There was something about that human I really admired, even though I didn't realize it at the time.
This human, Jason, seemed to be everything I wasn't, though I never admitted it. I knew there was something special about him... some kind of 'thing' that encouraged me to-- no... it MADE me go after him... like some kind of challenge. It was like there was some piss-and-vinegar inside him waiting to get out, but he always kept it in check. There had to be some way to get to him... some way to make him scream or shout, or throw something or take a swing at one of us. But, no... he was indestructible. Well... I thought he was, anyway.
I remember the first time we spoke... and I mean, REALLY spoke... not just the usual 'Get outta my way, freak.' or 'I'd beat you up but you wouldn't be worth the workout.', or 'I can't believe your mama didn't drown you when she had the chance.'... yea... I really used to like that one. I didn't usually speak to many people other than a 'the boys'. 'The boys' weren't really friends... they were just a group of other bullies I hung out with to make me feel better about beating on people who weren't interested in fighting back. Oh, I had a friend or two, yea... Tan Paw, Ryan, and Jeff... but I spent so much time trying to be a bad ass it didn't really leave a lot of time to let anyone in.
Jason, though... the first time I really spoke with Jason was a different thing altogether. It wasn't like I planned to speak with him... it was after P.E. and I was in the locker room. The coach made me help put the equipment away because I hit a freshman in the face with a dodge ball... crybaby. Lunch period was right after PE, so I wasn't worried about being late for a class... not like it would have worried me anyway. I remember that I was pretty pissed... if we were playing dodge ball, it wasn't my fault that the stupid little shit didn't get the hell outta the way.
Anyway, I was at my locker, getting undressed, when I heard something. Now, bull terriers don't have the best hearing outta all the breeds but, damn it, our hearing's a lot better than most humans, and I heard enough weaklings cry in my time to know what the sound was. It wasn't the usual kind of sobbing though, and it didn't have any pleas for mercy or whining about "oh you're hurting me". It was the kind of crying that I didn't hear very often... the kind where whoever was crying didn't want to cry, and was trying to fight the tears back... I knew that kind of crying, because that's the way I used to cry when my mom and dad were throwing bottles and breaking furniture. I'd never heard anyone else cry like that, so you can imagine I'd be a little curious, right?
I tracked the sound, faint as it was (yea... I can track... I'm not a hound, but I can track, so fuck you if you think otherwise) to a corner of the locker room where Jason was sitting on a bench, face in his hands, naked. Now, I'd been in high scool for three years at that point... plenty of time to see a lot of guys naked, humans AND Dogs. I'd also had a few rolls in the hay with some of the guys I could consider friends... but I think walking in on a naked guy crying was pretty much a first for me. I don't remember exactly what I said, but I think it was along the lines of "uh."
Jason looked up at that, focusing on me immediately. The sound of his crying stopped in an instant, though his eyes were still damp, and I saw a tear roll down his cheek. There was something about that human that caught me just then. Whether it was the most intense blue eyes you could imagine having boring into you, or just the strange tears that I thought would never come out of someone like that human, I still don't know... what I did know, though, was that things were not exactly what I expected them to be. He wasn't who I expected him to be... and I had started to wonder if maybe I wasn't who I thought I was. I remember feeling sorry for him. For the first time in my life I felt sorry for someone other than myself.
He spoke first, but I can't remember what it was he said, but it was something about inviting me to throw more shit his way. Of course, that was the last thing on my mind. I sat down next to him, wrapping the towel tighter around my waist (I HAD been about to change clothes, like I said), and just... talked. I asked him a lot of questions... I don't really think I ever bothered asking anyone questions, at least, not as many as I asked Jason. I was surprised by his answers.
Jason came from a home life about the same as mine. From how he described it, his parents weren't just nasty to each other, but they were nasty to him too. But he was from a middle class upbringing, so his parents could afford for him to have counseling, and all that other expensive shit that doesn't do anything except teach you how to hide your feelings. Apparently it worked pretty good too, because I never realized how fucked up a life Jason must have had. He wasn't hard to it like I was... that middle-class family life kept him soft... made him think that life would always involve him getting shitted on, and the only time he ever let it get to him was when he was alone... when he could let it all out by himself.
I told him about my home life-- and I NEVER told anyone about my home life. He listened to it without saying a word, and, when I was done, Jason just said "I know how you feel."... and, god damn it, if I didn't for once in my life believe someone when they said it. There he was, this human, the target of a half dozen bullies, able to pass by us in the hall every day without even bothering to acknowledge our insults and threats, but willing to sit with me in a locker room, alone, and talk about stuff like that. I shit you not, I think I fell in love right then and there; someone really understood me. I knew that I wouldn't be able to look at Jason the same way ever again.
When we had both said what we were going to say, Jason lowered his head and spoke in a quiet voice, "You know... out of that whole group in senior hall I walk by every day, I think you're the only one who ever really bothered me." Something about that admission brought a certain perverse glee to me; I had bothered him when no one else had. A half second later, though, it created this deep, empty hole inside me once I realized that, beyond anything I had realized during the year I'd been at his throat, I didn't want Jason to hurt. Like me, he'd already felt too much. Jason started crying again right then and there, no longer bothering to hide it. So what could I have done? Well... something pretty fucking out of character, is what: I hugged him.
It was the weirdest thing in the world, this strange sense of comfort that hit me at that moment... it was like I found something that was missing out of my life, holding that crying human. It felt like I had more of a purpose than just picking on whoever got in my way... like I had someone who looked up to me... who was worth being strong for. He had suffered through the same stuff I had. He knew what it was like, and I could tell we had endured more than any other person out there... people who still thought that their shit didn't stink, and that everyone had a fair shout at succeeding in life.
We both knew that was bullshit. Unlike me, though, Jason hadn't given up trying to be a good person. He was better than me, and I knew that it was my job to make sure that he always was. He looked up at me, eyes still wet, "You know, I thought you were just a huge bully, but I guess I was wrong." he told me. I still can't think of anything that could have spelled it out better for me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that he was right, that it's all I ever had been. I couldn't do it, ya know... becuase around him, I felt like I could be something better. "Well, I'm a bully by nature, ya know? Comes with being one of the breed." It was the best way I knew how to explain it away... or, at least, hope I did. "Who says bullies can't be nice guys too though?" I tried my best to offer him a comforting smile... but how the fuck should I know how to do that when nobody ever tried to comfort me? "Most bullies aren't all bad." it just came out like that. I've never been very good with words... maybe that was something else Jason did for me... I dunno.
I didn't fight it when Jason slowly slipped out of my arms. I didn't defend myself when he rested his elbows on my shoulder, and I didn't pull away when his lips pressed against the end of my muzzle. The human expression was strange... but having small, fleshy lips press up against the end of my mouth wasn't as bad as I thought it might have been... but the embarrassment of him knowing that thanks to my tail drumming a beat on the bench did not help.
"My name's Jason." he told me when the kiss ended.
"J.D." I answered back. Something about him made me think that I could have told him my full name and he wouldn't have said what everyone else would have... but it just never came out... not then, anyway.
"I... I was wrong about you." Jason said to me. I could tell he was a little shy about what he was going to say, but I could also smell the arousal on him, and hear the way his heart beat picked up ever since the kiss.
"Nah... you weren't." I admitted, "I'm a bully... but I know enough when I see someone that shouldn't have to put up with shit every day at school."
"T-thanks..." he said, eyes glancing back down to the floor.
I reached out and took hold of his arm, and pulled him a little closer, "That's not all you wanted to say... was it?" I asked. His eyes rose up again to meet mine, and I saw a fire inside him that made me loosen my grip, but not my interest, "was it?" I repeated, softer, rubbing the spot where my grip turned his skin red.
Jason shook his head, "No... that's all. Nothing else--" but he stopped speaking as I let the blanket around my waist fall open, letting him see the eight inch truth that he was not the only one interested in things going further.
"Are you sure?" I asked. There was a time when I would have been cocky about it, but not with him... not with Jason. It was just a question-- I wasn't about to force anything on him, but I wished, right then and there, that he would stay with me, and admit to something more.
For once, out of all the god damn times I asked for something, I got it. Jason knelt down in front of me, eyes gazing at all of me sticking up out of my sheath, and his gaze slowly rose up to my face, the fire in his eyes still as hot as ever... fuck... ten times hotter than it had been before. He put a hand on my thigh, and I thought I was going to lose it right there all over his face before he even touched my cock.
He reached down with his other hand... it still gets my fur to stand on end when I remember the feel of it encircling my balls... and I stood up, not able to sit anymore as my tail started flagging... oh god, it was not like anything I'd ever felt when I was with someone. Without another word, he took me into his mouth, right then and there. It was the first time a human ever went down on me... but no, I ain't goin into details, so don't ask. I may be a bully but I don't kiss and tell... so if you got a problem with that, then fuck off.