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A zombie - here?!

But it was tied up and looked damaged. The bay stallion was right behind it doing... something. Moving and touching the creature.

I blinked in shock. It had been a female fox, and the bay stallion was... mating her!

Isaac walked into the boxed off area and sat in a chair next to Bradley. The honey badger nodded to me, and after a detached gaze to the activity, settled to stare at me.

The stallion groaned and thrust hard into what had been a female fox, somewhere in her twenties in life. The thing growled through a tied muzzle, though the teeth had all been knocked out.

"What do you think, boys?" laughed Isaac. "Live stuff is always better than video porn."

I gawked at the fox, who could have been a distant relative of mine. She was tied down to a table, unable to turn her head, or move her arms. Her eyes glowed bright in the dim light of the loading bay corner. The table beneath her shuddered and squeaked on the floor with the stallion's hard thrusts.

Isaac took a sip of his drink. "Michael's big, and he'll loosen the thing up. Hmmm, you never know. It might tighten up with that creepy blue flesh thing."

I dragged my gaze away from the scene, trying to recover from my shock. My eyes flitted to the other furs. Isaac sat enjoying the view and chuckling. Bradley seemed more interested in watching me; at least I knew why the honey badger's interest was on me, if not his purpose in watching me so much. A shift of movement drew my eyes. With a shiver, I recognized Peter, slipping out of a dark, shadowed corner.

"Aren't you worried about catching something?" asked Ethan, taking a step closer. The hound seemed caught between fascination and horror.

"No, no!" waved off Isaac. "That stallion has been screwing them since the first day these things rose. Taking out his frustration or something. Give it harder, Michael!"

The stallion sped up, grunting and panting with each hard thrust. His long neck stretched over the fox as she strained to face him. For what purpose was unclear. She was making the same sounds they all seemed to make when excited.

Isaac snickered when the tied fox's footpaws scrabbled at the floor. "None of us want to try, but we're down for a good show, and Michael loves an audience."

The stallion spared a wink in response.

I grit my teeth and glanced up at Shadow, whose paw was clenched and tense. His blanked gaze was fixed on the fox as she tried to thrash around. I couldn't even tell if the undead creature was in distress or if she wanted to eat the warm body behind her. Michael flexed and groaned, scraping the table along the floor. He twitched, then stilled, sucking in huge breaths and groaning.

Drew was taking an unhealthy interest in the activity. He probably had never been exposed to mating done right in front of him. For that matter, neither had I. Early sexual exposure should not be a big stallion raping a zombie, no matter the situation.

Ethan was frozen in shock; I had no idea what might be going through his head. Don't look! I wanted to yell.

"What's it like?" asked Drew after some hesitation and staring. He couldn't keep his gaze off where the fox and the stallion joined.

Michael shook out his mane and withdrew from the fox with a last moan. "Better than you'd expect. We ripped out its teeth and claws. Thing's harmless except to drool on you or some such." He chuckled between recovering breaths, zipping himself back inside his pants.

Peter laughed, drawing eyes to his corner. Sparing me a shiver-worthy look, he said, "What he's not telling you is the thing is damaged inside. You know what that means?"

Drew shook his head.

Peter grinned, showing sharp, little teeth backing up long canines. "Means that weird fleshy stuff is inside. Better than any vibrator he says."

The lion chuckled and took a sip of his drink. "Close as you can get to the real thing. Apparently better in some ways."

"Better than sex?" Drew stepped closer to the tied fox, his eyes wide and taking on a hungry glint.

Isaac winked at me, which I didn't understand. "I'm all fulfilled, so I didn't 'partake', and Bradley here never seems to be interested."

Michael smirked. "Can't catch any disease. It's already dead. Blue flesh won't get you either, just caress you with a lovely hum," the stallion laughed as he adjusted his crotch. The stallion made an inviting gesture towards the rear of the fox.

After a choking sound, Ethan regained his voice. "Don't do it, Drew."

"Why not?" Drew looked confused. "It's not hurting anything, and it sounds like Michael's screwed a lot of these."

"We-we can't!" Ethan gasped, holding up his paws and stepping back.

With a big shiver, I regained myself. "It's wrong," I piped in. "This used to be a fur, thinking and feeling. Don't desecrate someone's memory. We don't even know where they got her."

"Her?" laughed Isaac. "IT came from outside. There's hardly any of these left out there. They all left to go towards whatever that rumble was. Wasn't hard to catch this straggler."

"No!" I yelled. "What about those who cared for HER. What do you think they would say if you do this!"

Drew hesitated. He looked uncomfortable, the full situation dawning on him, overcoming his hormonal instincts. I understood; the whole corner smelled of sex. Sex and... something I couldn't identify.

"Don't worry," griped Peter, rolling his eyes. "This one's chance of having someone to say anything are next to nill. You're not harming anyone, and no one will find someone who cares."

"I care," I growled, taking a step forward. I stalked up and stood in front of the tied fox. As Shadow came up behind me, I pointed down at the struggling fox. "There's no way to tell if she actually feels or not, cares or not. If it's not bad, then why hide this from the others?!"

"Go for it, tiger." Isaac said with an idle wave of a paw. "No one will care, and everyone needs to take out some frustration."

"No Drew!" I yelled, my eyes wide in shock.

Isaac rose out of his seat. "Back off, pup! You don't want to get involved in this. Leave with your big wolf and forget what you saw here. No one cares, and if you do squeal, we'll just say you did it too. If anyone even cares."

Bradley rolled his eyes, but Peter nodded. Drew stared at the struggling fox, seeming torn.

Peter's grin broadened, and he leered at me before turning his focus to the tiger. "Imagine the best caress, humming and encompassing you. It's slick in there, we used lube. Shove it in, and get the best thrill of your life, taking a dangerous foe and conquering it like the male you are."

Drew was gaining a smile, looking down at the tied fox. He made idle rubs at a growing erection in his pants. I didn't like the look in his eyes. Predatory. Full of need.

With a visible shudder, Ethan walked up to Drew and whispered something in his ear, setting a paw on his shoulder. The tiger's eyes widened, and he looked uncomfortable again. With some effort, he turned away from the zombie fox and the grinning stallion, allowing himself to be led away. His erection was still visible through his pants, but he wasn't following through.

"Lose your nerve, Drew?" called out Isaac with a laugh. "If you change your mind, come back later, or even tomorrow night. This one's our little toy now," he finished with a wink to me.

I took a step back. Back and ended up in Shadow's arms. I looked up at him. I could tell he was fighting discomfort and not a small amount of fear.

"Let's go," he whispered into my ear.

I wanted to growl out and stand my ground, but Shadow and Ethan both looked ready to race out of there. I shivered and allowed myself to be turned away. Drew too allowed himself to be drawn away by the nervous hound. I glanced back at the undead fox, hoping the thing had no awareness. Being burned alive by firecrackers was one thing, but to be ripped up and raped, left alive to suffer more....

"By all that's furry! That... was creepy." Ethan breathed outside the loading bay doors. He shook his head to clear it.

Drew glanced back at the bay doors, and still seemed to be torn. I hoped to all the furry gods he would not return that night. I didn't want to think of what we had seen behind those swinging doors, but memory images had burned into my memory. I felt sick. Shadow didn't look much better.

"Come on, Drew," Ethan mumbled. "I'll walk you to your couch." He wobbled back towards Camp, without giving us a glance. Drew followed after one last glance to the doors.

Shadow pulled me away, towards Camp and our tent. I felt tears of frustration and anger build up. Damn it all. Just when I was feeling some hope for the future, crazy crap had to happen again. I shivered, remembering the fox's glowing eyes, how they had met mine. My confusion when I didn't know if she was wanting my flesh or pleading for help.

I sniffled and Shadow stopped us, pulling me close and holding me tight. I about crumbled right there. The ups and downs were getting to me. The wild life we were living was upsetting my basic understanding of balance.

Shadow said nothing as I loosed tears into his chestfur. My tail hung limp with hurt and dismay, as I clung to my Wulf. How could I claim to be a good fur? I hadn't done anything.

"I have to go back," I mumbled. "I can't leave it like that."

"It's okay, Tyler." One wolf paw held me close by my back and the other one stroked my head. "There's no fighting a situation like that. It was ugly, but Isaac may be right. Furs might not care. They hate the things."

"I do too... or I don't. I don't know anymore." I fought off a sob. "They're just victims brought back to life. They don't deserve that- that torture."

"I understand, Tyler. They just exist. I've been one to 'just exist' too. It's easy for others to use." The wolf shuddered hard. "We can't end up like that, Tyler."

But the fox had ended up like that. How easy would it be for me to end up the same? For Shadow?

Shadow shivered. "She looked so much like you, I thought it was you. I thought I was going insane, seeing you raped before my eyes and having you at my side at the same time."

I clutched at Shadow's backfur. "Let's go back to the tent," came my whisper. "Enough for tonight. I just want to go to bed."

I almost added I wanted to not exist. Just for a day. If I didn't exist, I couldn't care. I didn't want to care about all the terrible things I kept seeing. I wanted a day off. Some time to think, to gather myself and my sense of balance again. I felt drained. Looking up at Shadow, he had a haunted, exhausted look to him. What was he feeling through this?

We clung to each other, nude again in the tent. Shadow's warm presence seemed to be the one thing anchoring me to the world. I clung to him, and noticed his occasional shiver in my arms. He settled under my caressing pets, his breath evening until I was sure he was asleep.

I hoped the morning was yet far away, as I could feel a heavy weariness settle on me. Camp was silent, save the occasional sound of a night-dweller or a fur up for the bathroom. I dug my nose deep into the black fur of Shadow's rhythmic chest, listening to his heartbeat until the world faded.

***

>>>>[[NOTE: DAY 14]]<<<<

I yawned, the Camp breakfast activity almost not enough to keep me awake. How late had we been up in the night?

Shadow stood from the picnic table bench. The remnants of our breakfast lay before us. The black wolf had been thoughtful over his food, seeming to think about the night before. He was waving to someone. I frowned as Steve raised his paw in acknowledgement. I knew what Shadow wanted to tell the big rabbit, but I was unsure how the lagomorph would respond.

The big rabbit's ears twitched when he approached, smiling. "What's up, pups?"

Shadow looked to me. "Tyler and I were with Ethan and Drew last night, and we saw something."

The rabbit cocked his head. "Okay," he said with a frown.

Shadow nodded again to me, and I knew it was time for me to take over. Shadow had taken the big first step, I could finish up the rest.

I cleared my throat and watched the rabbit for reaction. "Furs were in the loading bay, and one was, um, mating a zombie fox. Raping her."

Steve frowned and clenched his paws into fists. As much as a rabbit could growl, he did. "What?"

"Um," I hesitated. "They had her tied up, claws and teeth removed. They're keeping her as a 'toy'."

"Who?!" the rabbit hissed.

"Michael was..." I gestured, not wanting to repeat the nasty activity. "Isaac, Bradley, and Peter were all watching."

The rabbit grimaced. "Damn. I knew Michael was up to something, the way he was slinking around yesterday. I didn't know he had an active zombie in here. We don't know all of what they're capable of. But rape...." He shook his head, and watched Isaac laughing with Michael across the dining area.

When the rabbit didn't speak further, I asked, "What are we going to do?"

Steve looked back to me. "I'm going to give Burt time to introduce his family, then we'll have a good, long talk with Siku Radi and Howard on what to do. This can't go unpunished. At the very least, it's dangerous. Furs can't be bringing those things in here."

Shadow growled, "The rape...."

Steve frowned deeper. "Is disgusting and completely wrong, but we have nothing in our laws to compare with this situation. It has to be punished though. I think all the furs would agree, something this severe must have consequences."

I nodded my agreement, relaxing. Steve had always seemed a level fur. The big rabbit excused himself as there was a growing commotion towards the restrooms. Shadow and I stood, getting up to investigate.

We two approached a close knot of happy furs. Burt's horns were visible in the center of the knot. I grinned, catching a glimpse of Michelle holding something moving and the bull, a watchful presence over them. Some furs were presenting various things they'd found around the store they thought the new family would find useful. The chatter was animated and happy.

I pulled myself closer to Shadow by my arm looped through his and smiled up at him. Furs mixed together, as if nothing had ever separated them. There was no sense of tension or disdain for someone who 'didn't fit'. That particular morning, we all were survivors welcoming in a healthy, new life. No one was speaking in quiet whispers of the Curtain, impending death, or the strange rumble. Somehow, none of us were 'hiding' that day.

Shadow prodded his way through the knot, towards its center. He nodded to furs, and each one nodded or acknowledged him back. Even Sanway had a ridiculous grin, replacing his typical stuffy disdain.

There was a loud chuckle. "Give new parents and offspring room, yes?" Sally purposefully nudged furs away. "Form a line to see new calf. Not to overwhelm them."

There was a general murmur as furs shifted into a line of well-wishers and cheek pinchers. Shadow and I ended up somewhere in the middle. Ruby and Clovis were right in front of us, Ruby chattering away. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see Howard.

"Hello again, pups," he said in his soft voice, around a broad smile. "You're here to see the calf too?"

I nodded. "It feels like the world might have ended, but it has been saved, and there's a rush to make sure it's real."

He chuckled. "You're not far off. This is exactly what this community needs right now. Some tangible form of hope."

Shadow shrugged. "Hope kills as much as it saves."

Grinning, I gave Shadow a poke in the ribs, "Aw, don't be a spoil-sport, Shadow. I think in this case, we're all saved. I've never seen any of these furs look so happy before."

Shadow tried to apply a pouting face, but the mood had caught with him, and his smile kept peeking through.

I snickered. "You like it too, that there's a calf born."

"Of course!" he seemed a little startled. "Who wouldn't be?"

Howard winked. "He's just trying to not show too much enthusiasm."

I held back a laugh. Shadow was being shy, holding back how much he wanted to see the calf, how much all this made him happy. Was happiness a vulnerability to some? I supposed it could be exploited and taken away, but who would want to manipulate something so purely wonderful?

Up ahead, the Labrador couple finished speaking with Michelle. They looked fascinated by the little one, but the female's expression fell as they walked down the line, nearing us. As they passed, I heard the female mumble, "...shame it may not survive to grow up though...."

I gritted my teeth and held back a growl. Shadow looked down, noticing my clenched fist.

"What is it?" the wolf asked, sudden worry on his muzzle.

I shook my head and tried not to look upset. Letting out a long, purposeful sigh, I tried to let go the rising anger.

A calf had every right to try to live, try to grow. Couldn't they even try to be optimistic for the little one? Wouldn't she have the full support of every fur her, trying their best for her future? And to generalize her as an 'it', so it would hurt them less if we did lose her... it seemed too cruel.

And it reminded me of how Isaac had refused to furrize the undead fox the night before in any way. He had also called her an 'it', as if she had never been a unique being living in the world. I glanced at Howard, knowing he'd have a long talk with a big rabbit before the day was over.

We were almost at the head of the line, and I needed to remind myself what I was there for. Peering around Ruby and Clovis in front of me, who were giving their greetings, I could see a nose peeking out of a tightly-wrapped blanket. I would get a closer look soon.

A warm rush of hope and well-being filled me. I rested my head on Shadow's shoulder and closed my eyes. Shadow was there with me. Furs were chattering in excitement, and someone was making a happy rhythm with a pair of spoons while another was beating a tattoo on a table. A general feeling of celebration and hope was in the air.

It was our turn. I held myself back from bouncing forward the last few steps. Next to me, Shadow was shivering with excitement, or maybe I was the one shivering. We got a good, close look at a miniature cow face.

I gripped Shadow's arm and grinned up at Burt, so happy my vision blurred. "Congratulations, Burt."

Shadow nodded and whispered something. It seemed he was too much in awe to speak. The calf peered out of the blanket with dark, unfocused eyes. She appeared to be a solid color, with a darker shade red than Michelle's red and white form.

Burt chuckled and reached big hooves forward to ruffle our headfur. "Congratulations to you too!" At our blinks of confusion, he gave a big belly laugh. "You both have a new baby sister, pups!"

"Sister?" Shadow breathed.

I remembered he'd had siblings through his father and step-mother. He had not told me much about them, but from his expression, the thought of having a new sister was more than welcome.

"Family," Breathed Shadow, reaching out a paw towards the little one. He hesitated before he touched her and pulled his paw back, looking sheepish.

Michelle made a funny little noise. With a shake of her head and a grin, she said, "It's okay, Shadow. I won't bite, and neither will she. She's your new sister. Don't be shy."

My grin grew even wider as Shadow bent in for a closer look and a hesitant, gentle paw over the new calf's head. The little one mewled and turned towards the paw.

"See?" Michelle chuckled. "She likes you. You'll be a great brother."

Somehow, through all the black fur, I could see Shadow blush. He stroked the tiny head. After a cautious look to Michelle, he lowered his head close to the calf. "She smells amazing," he mumbled.

Michelle smiled, "Newborn smell, plus a bit of milk. Nothing like it, huh?"

Shadow nodded, eyes wide with fascination and awe.

Next it was my turn. I had to agree. There was something which drew me in by the calf's smell. Did all newborns smell so amazing? I also got a couple strokes of a new calf brow. My memories of Kaylee at the same age were vague.

"What's her name?" I asked.

Michelle touched her own, broad nose to the calf's head. "We decided to call her Margaret. I always did like the name and Maggie is such a cute nickname!"

My heart skipped a beat. It was my mother's name. My mother's name reborn.

From far away, I heard Burt add, "It means 'pearl'. It fits her beautifully."

I struggled to keep the smile on my face even as my chin trembled, and my eyes filled with tears. I turned away, wanting to give the new family time with the next viewer, Howard. I fought the urge to run, to find some privacy to bawl my eyes and heart out. A steady paw gripped my arm and guided our way, weaving through happy furs.

Shadow guided me to a quiet corner of the store, away from the eyes of camp and held me as I cried into his shoulder. He didn't say anything, holding me tight and making vague comforting noises.

It was too close to what I had lost, pulling together with what I had gained. It all seemed to mix in my head and circle there. He upset rolled over me again and again, each time when I calmed a little. The loss of my family. Mom, Dad, Kaylee. The loss of Eric, and even my neighbor Miss Dervin. Little Diggy, the innocent feral dog, who'd had even less idea of what had been going on than we did.

I remembered Kaylee's kitty angel, and how she used to make it dance on the couch, humming as she tapped the figure up and down. I remembered the sun streaming in through the dining room windows. Sunlight which, on this very day, would be shining on the letter I'd left for my father.

It took a while, but I calmed, more from exhaustion than anything else. I sagged against Shadow as he licked my ears and tear trails.

Damn. I had lost control again. "I'm sorry, Shadow," I whimpered in a ragged voice. "I hate being like this."

"Like what?" he mumbled into my ear, breath tickling me.

I groaned. "I'm getting so upset these days. I feel out of control and weak."

He chuckled, laying his head over my shoulder and holding us closer. "I could say the same for my behavior."

"But yours seems to get better," I grumbled. "You're so strong."

I felt him sigh through my arms, holding him. "I'm stronger, but it's all due to you. I don't know what I'd do without you. I think I'd fall apart and never recover." He nudged his muzzle towards my neck. "You have gotten stronger. It may be difficult for you to see, but we see it."

"We?" I managed, feeling fatigue take over my upset.

"Those who love you," he whispered. "Those who care."

"I like being loved." I felt sleepy.

"Me too."

I drifted off and had a pleasant dream where I was floating on a dangerous sea, but Shadow's arms held me safe and his presence calmed the raging waters nearby.

***

I startled awake to a shrill whistle blast. Voices called out "Curtain!" like a child's repeating game.

I was in the tent, and Shadow was on his belly, reading a book in the dim, green light. He put aside the book as I groaned.

"Furry hells, there's never a quiet day anymore," I grumbled, blinking bleary eyes. I was still dressed and so was Shadow. "What happened?" was my groan.

Shadow put down his book and sat up, smiling. "Carried you back after you fell asleep. You didn't even twitch. You feel okay? I thought you'd been getting enough sleep."

I fought back a yawn. "I have. I just feel overwhelmed by everything."

"Any fur would."

"You seem to be handling it well, Wulf."

He shook his head and looked troubled, not meeting my gaze. "I didn't have anything to lose, really. I've gained so much more now than I had before the Curtain. Changed my life," he chuckled.

"What about Cade?"

Shadow paused. When he spoke, his voice was just above a whisper. "It was temporary. I knew life with him was never really mine."

Shaking my head and frowning, I said, "Shadow-"

"I don't want to talk about it," he snapped, making a sharp gesture. He sighed, scratching his muzzle scar. "We need to go anyway."

My muzzle fast shut at his interruption, and I felt a little hurt. Shadow had never closed me off before. Shadow struggled, growling, with the damaged zipper and left the tent, waiting for me outside. I couldn't look at him, couldn't raise my head. What had happened? What had gone wrong?

Thinking back on what had been said, I couldn't think of anything I'd said to make him react like that. I wanted to talk about it, but it was not a good time. The Curtain was imminent. I allowed him to take my paw and followed, as silent shadow behind him. He was tense, and I didn't know why.

The bathrooms were full of chatter. Baby advice and memories were being exchanged at rapid speed. The realm of verbal knowledge would prevail on. Shadow and I were silent as we found a spot somewhere in the middle.

I shivered a little as I lay next to Shadow, some fur near my back. Had it always been so cold in here? Shadow's arms wrapped around me and pulled me close. I listened to his heartbeat, but somehow still felt miles away from him. Why was he withdrawing?

I had recovered my previous upset to find another source of upset, and this one was Shadow, my deepest source of stability in the new Furdom. The world seemed to reel even before the Curtain dropped.

The Curtain dropped, a rising wave of sensation and vibrations which overwhelmed every sense. I could taste it, and not taste it. Smell it and was unable to smell it. Beyond nature, beyond what should exist, it ripped through me, vibrations and unending distress from all my cells.

Shadow's heartbeat was there, a steady thump-thump. The rhythm, the tune was also there. I became aware of it, recognizing it. My consciousness danced with the tune, riding the waves. Then...

IT recognized ME.

**?**

An instant of realization hit. The Curtain surged, and I rose with it, dancing along. But it wasn't long before I was swept away. The Curtain surged again and whipped through me, erasing awareness of my Wulf. I couldn't hold onto him. I was lost. Being was lost. ... was lost.

It stopped. Everything stopped. An infinite instant later, everything was returned.

I panted and shivered. Aware of Shadow again. Furs were panting. Several were sobbing. My eyes opened. I hurt everywhere, but I didn't feel too bad versus other times.

Shadow was shaking and whimpering next to me, refusing to open his eyes. His wolf paws clenched into the front of my shirt. From the floor, I couldn't see much, but I did see a few furs struggle, trying to rise.

I didn't feel bad, but lying here with Shadow was nice. I didn't want to leave that. Minutes passed, and I imagined he had not snapped at me. It seemed I could lie there and not have to face what happened in the world at all.

"By all that's furry, what was that?!" griped Sanway from across the safe restroom.

"That one wasn't right," said a nearby voice. Clovis. "Something was wrong."

"Open the door, we need to check on the other group!" called out the collie mom, Erin.

I heard the pups crying. Poor Diana and Jacob. They didn't deserve to be tortured like this every day. They needed a childhood under a warm, friendly sun, not a childhood trapped in fear in a big box store.

Everyone else seemed to be feeling the painful brunt of the Curtain. Somehow I was not, well not much anyway. What had I sensed during the Curtain? My Curtain memories were always vague, but this one had seemed extraordinary. I'd felt-

I sat up with a jolt and held my head. I had not yet recovered.

The tune. Behind the tune, I'd felt something, sensed something. What was it? Like a prodding question at my being. It was something... almost a someone. But it didn't feel like anything I'd experienced before. Was it my imagination?

Recognition. It... whatever 'it' was had recognized me. Noticed me.

I shivered and held my knees up to my chest. Why was everything so wrong? What had I done? I looked around at the furs gathering themselves. They were all doing worse than I was. I slumped back to the floor, trying to pretend I too had reached my limit. Nothing good could come from being singled out as having come out of this far better than the other furs.

I lay there on the floor, shivering for a different reason. A cold feeling settled deep within me.

"You okay?" groaned Shadow, his eyes opening.

I made a muffled groan and nodded, holding my head, even though it didn't hurt much. I didn't like deceiving Shadow, but I hoped he would understand later. Something was wrong.

I felt scared more than anything. It was not difficult to feign upset. Upset like the other furs, but from a different cause.

Furs gathered themselves up. Someone was trying to get the door unsealed when there was a knock from the other side.

"You okay in there?" called a muffled voice.

Furs sobbed in relief. No one wished for half the FurShopper residents to perish. All had someone they knew, someone they cared about in the other restroom. I had too. It was Burt's deep voice calling; he had been in the other restroom.

I shuddered out a breath in relief. Shadow rubbed a comforting paw along my arm, probably thinking I was still recovering.

Minutes passed and furs left the room. I made sure to be one of the last to sit and rise. It wasn't difficult to pretend to be in pain. I was in pain, just not as much as the others.

Shadow and I made our way to the tent. No one made a move to begin afternoon duties, many of which furs had begun to stop. No one had seen sign of new furs, and many tasks were being ignored. Furs sat around at the picnic tables, speaking in low voices. I overheard the new calf had also had a difficult time, but was expected to be okay.

In the tent, Shadow dropped my paw and returned to reading his book. Something had gone wrong there too, and I didn't even know what.

"Shadow?" I whispered. When he didn't respond, I sighed and lay on my side, facing away from my Wulf.

My Wulf. Could he remain mine? Could I remain his? I didn't even know why he was upset. I'd mentioned something and had brought up Cade. Was he more upset about losing the bison than I'd thought?

What had he said? Something like he didn't feel so overwhelmed, since he hadn't lost much. The world had been a dangerous, unstable life for him even before the Curtain. When I'd mentioned Cade, he seemed to have gotten upset.

Ugh. Did I have to try to read Shadow's mind to understand this?

"Shadow," I whispered. I rolled over to face him, propping up on an elbow.

He didn't respond more than a single ear flick. His tail was still on the sleeping bag. He might as well have been alone for all his response to me.

I cleared my throat and spoke a little louder. "Shadow. Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said, turning to face me with a smile. But the smile was drawn, strained.

"No, something is wrong." I reached out with my free paw to rest it on his chest.

He twitched, and I thought he would turn away. After a long moment of him staring at the book, he sighed and put it down, rubbing at his eyes. "I'm the last fur you should be worrying about right now."

"Why?" I asked, confused. "Please, just tell me what's going on. You're everything to me, Shadow."

He nodded, staring at the tent ceiling.

I cleared my throat. "You were the one who told me that if anything was bothering me, I should share it with you. You said it's dangerous."

"I guess." The wolf was silent a moment, and I let him have his time. Shadow sighed again and finally turned to his side, facing me with a grimace. He had a hard time meeting my eyes. "I talked with Helaina, when I carried you to the tent earlier."

I rolled my eyes. She was like a never-ending plague upon us. "What did she say, Wulf? You need to tell me."

Shadow looked down at his paw, fidgeting with a ripple in the sleeping bag. "She said it won't be long before you... end up like 'Isaac's little plaything'."

I frowned and tilted my head. What?

Shadow sighed. "She meant the thing we witnessed last night at the party. The fox...."

My eyes opened wide. That.

"I thought I could ignore it, but when you brought up me losing Cade...."

"You realized your time with me could only be temporary?"

He nodded, not looking up.

"Because you'd also thought you'd be with Cade a while." At another nod, I continued. "And you couldn't stand the thought of losing me, so you thought you might withdraw a bit. To keep from feeling too close to me whenever it happens?"

He shrugged and couldn't look at me.

I shook my head. With a sad chuckle, I said, "You're a silly wolf sometimes." I scooted close and gathered him up in my arms.

He sniffled, and I felt tears trickle into my chestfur.

His voice was uneven when he said, "I didn't realize until you mentioned it. I do have a lot to lose now. And it scares me, Tyler. It really does."

"Because you're afraid of getting hurt again."

"I just don't want to be hurt any more."

"It's okay, Wulf."

"My time with Cade, I thought it would last. He was coming for me, and I could have been, like his son or something." The wolf's voice sobbed softly before continuing. "I keep thinking I'll have you forever, but what if it's just as temporary and fragile as what I had with Cade?"

I nodded, pulling his head closer, licking at a pinned-back ear.

"I can't lose you, Tyler. I don't think I could survive it. You're all that's left for me."

"Shh-shh, it's okay. That's why I want you to branch out, connect with more furs. So if I do go, you do have someone there for you."

"And I'm trying, and I feel a bit close to a few. But all I care about is you. I love having a little sister; I love having friends. But when the day is over, the only fur I really want to be with me, is you." His voice shook in his upset. "The fox last night looked so much like you, and it could even happen to you. They may laugh and rape you over and over...." The wolf crumbled into sobs.

It would be similar to what had happened to him. I understood this matter hit close to home in his heart.

I cleared my throat, stroking his neck as my tongue left his ear. "You are branching out to more furs, and I see your growing strength. Just like you said to me, 'furs were never meant to fight their battles alone'. That includes you." I gave him a little poke in the shoulder.

He flinched, but said nothing.

"And I don't think what you had with Cade was temporary or fragile. You cared for each other, meant a lot to each other. I can tell by the way you talk about him, he meant a lot to you."

The wolf nodded into my chest, sobs stopping.

"And it's not something fragile, or even disappears with death. He lives as a memory within you. His life touched yours, and that will never go away. Some part of him will always be with you."

Shadow took a moment to calm his breathing, and I gave him the time. When he spoke, his voice was hushed. "It sounds so rote, but somehow so true."

My muzzle broke into a smile. "Uh-huh. Some truths are said so much, they begin to sound ridiculous and fake."

"Kind of like saying a word aloud over and over. It begins to sound like nonsense?" There was a sense of his hidden chuckle in those words.

"Yup," I said, giving him a fat kiss to the top of his head. My Wulf was returning to himself and no longer hiding his pain. We could deal with our pains together and each be stronger for it.

I held my Wulf close to me, rocking us in the afternoon dimness. Shadow relaxed more and more until he seemed to drift off. His even breathing pulled in my scent even as his consciousness left him. My scent would be in his dreams. I smiled at the thought.

A little time passed, but not a lot. Couldn't have been more than an hour before he roused and stretched beyond my hold. I smiled and gave his nose a lick. He growled and pushed me over, onto my back. Slipping between my legs and positioning over me, he had something a bit hard poking at me.

I snickered. It wasn't even morning.

"What now?" he asked with a grin, his tail spinning over his back. "Your choice."

"Let's go up to the roof and enjoy the sun. Could you go out and see if you can find us some crackers and a knife? Maybe even some peanut butter?"

He grinned his agreement, slipping off me, making sure to grab the bat on his way out the tent.

I pulled out the jar of jam. We needed a little pick up, and it was an occasion to celebrate: a newborn and two weeks of survival, against many odds.

I also wanted this to be special, just the two of us. I didn't think either of us would be here without having met the other. We were special to each other, bonded to each other. Willingly, I would stay with this wolf.

I exited the tent and Shadow returned from the dining area of Camp, looking relieved, even though he'd always been in sight of the tent. I gestured with my muzzle towards the loading bay doors, and we headed off.

In the dark bay, I tried my best to ignore the empty corner, framed by boxes. I didn't want to think of what had happened there. What had they even done with the fox when they had finished their horrible game? Shadow on the other paw, glared into the space, as if daring the memory to taunt him further. I admired him for that, his ability to face something which had so unsettled him.

What can I say? It was a beautiful day outside. Scattered clouds didn't block the sun, but provided scenic cotton-ball blobs across the sky. We settled down on some random spot in the middle of the roof and lay with our backs against the bare, white membrane. A box of crackers lost weight, and we delved into some of the raspberry jam and mixed in different amounts of peanut butter, discussing the betterment of flavor.

We counted clouds, made faces at each other in the bright light and imagined stories from cloudy figures. The sun warmed us and the occasional cloud across the sun had us admiring the shining whiteness. The afternoon continued and cooled towards the long, summer evening.

We moved closer and closer to each other. Closer, until our fur mingled and our whiskers played together. Closer, as we turned to face each other and ignored the rest of the world.

"What are you thinking?" Shadow asked.

"That this is the most perfect afternoon I've ever had," I replied with a grin and a little kiss to his muzzle.

Shadow guffawed "'Most perfect' huh?"

"Uh-huh," I grinned, giving him a light kiss.

"Can only get better," Shadow mumbled as he moved against me, lips pressing to mine and tongue questing for my willing maw.

I closed my eyes and opened my muzzle to him, my breathing quickening. I felt heat growing inside me as he continued the kiss, and I returned it, slurping and sucking at his tongue. I drew the wolfiness into me.

With a loud growl, he rolled over onto me, pressing my head against the firm roof membrane for a deeper kiss. I whimpered beneath him, feeling my sheath warm and begin to fill.

I was a little breathless when he let up and nibbled at my ear, working down towards my neck.

Heat filled me, sourcing at my neck and shooting down towards my toes. "Shadow," I breathed. "I want you. I can't help it, Wulf. Is it too soon since last time?"

His breath huffed into the juncture of my neck. "It's probably okay now. Unless you feel it's too soon."

I almost wailed as he pulled at my nipple with his teeth. "No!" I gasped, "Not too soon!"

He grunted, and I felt something press against my leg, as he had one between mine. I clenched my eyes closed as a surge of anticipation flooded me. My paws darted down to his midsection, fumbling the button of his shorts loose.

There was a bee. Some annoying hum. Faint and annoying.

I gasped as Shadow's paw slipped inside my own shorts, his paw brushing inside. I panted and opened my eyes, gazing up at him. The intensity of his gaze and the hunger within met with my own. I glanced to the side at the annoying bee.

But it wasn't a bee.

"Wait!" I yelped, pushing up at Shadow.

He looked dismayed as I began to struggle from beneath him and moved to stand. "What?"

I jumped up and down, laughing. For all the sky and sun and clouds above, there was something new.

I shrieked, pointing. "It's a plane!"