FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

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"I just want to thank you for helping us, Ralof. We'll miss you," said Slutcat after they'd risen.

"Keep working on those spells, Slutcat. We could use a good mage in the Stormcloaks. All I ask is that you consider joining us at Windhelm. But even if not, it's been quite an experience. I don't think I've ever met a khajiit like you."

Slutcat reached up and gave the big Stormcloak a hug and kiss, before she watched him leave the house.

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"Well, I guess it's just you and me again, Sworddog," she said, a little sadly.

"What's this 'we'? I'm going with Ralof!" Sworddog replied and started heading for the door.

Slutcat grabbed her by the tail. "HEY! You can't leave me!"

The dog chuckled. "Just kidding. I can't open doors."

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"Before we go, how about we look around town a little bit? Maybe visit that shop we saw earlier?" Slutcat suggested.

"Sure! You might want to visit that blacksmith too. You may learn something."

The blacksmith's eyes grew wide when he saw the buxom khajiit approach.

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"Hi stud. So, you make armor and stuff around here?"

"Er... yes! I'm the local blacksmith. What can I do for you? Perhaps some armor? A pair of pants? Some underwear even?"

"Oh, no. I'm good. But I thought it might be a good idea to learn how to make things. Maybe I can help you or something in return?"

"Sure! Here, here's some iron. Try your hand at the forge and see if you can turn this into a dagger..."

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She spent an hour with the blacksmith, learning the basics of how to work the forge and other tools.

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"He was kind of nice, wasn't he?" Slutcat asked her companion as she stepped down into the street.

"I'll say! I guess not everyone around here is a bloodthirsty asshole."

"He even let me keep the dagger!"

Suddenly an aged voice from across the street called out to her, "Gonna get cold tonight. Might want to cover your delicates."

Slutcat turned and walked over to where an old lady was standing on her patio, working a tanning rack. "Why does everyone say that?" she asked the old lady. "I'll have you know my delicates are just fine as they are! And who's this 'Ysmir' and what is it about his beard anyway?"

The lady stood and looked at her. "You're not from around here, are you khajiit?"

Slutcat frowned and looked down at herself, back to the old lady, then back down at herself again. "What gave it away? I bet it was the tail."

"Don't get sassy with me, young lass! You and your big perky tits. Just take it from me, the day will come when you'll wish you'd worn something to hold those things up!"

"Well, I appreciate your concern. But me and my big perky tits are doing just fine. And if I ever find this 'Ysmir', I'll be sure to cover my delicates with his beard."

The old lady laughed at that. "Oh you're a frisky cat! But Ysmir is just a name for some old king. It's a title of sorts. Though I hear Jarl Balgruuf has a pretty impressive... beard. And he's single too."

Slutcat's ears perked up at that. "Oh really? Well it just so happens I'm supposed to go talk to this Jarl Balgruuf fellow. Whiterun right?", she said to which the old woman nodded. She continued, "But what is a 'Jarl'? I know it's not his name because someone mentioned another Jarl to me recently."

"A Jarl is... well. I guess like a Lord. He is the ruler of Whiterun and the area around it. Including Riverwood."

"I see. Well thanks ma'am. I'll let you know if I get him to cover my delicates," Slutcat laughed and headed off in the direction of the general store.

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"Weird word, 'Jarl'," she muttered to Sworddog as they walked down the road. "I think that's the sound you make when some guy blows his load in your mouth."

"Speak for yourself!" Sworddog said indignantly.

"I cnt," Slutcat garbled, poking her cheek with her tongue. "Mu mthths' fuul".

"Oh you bipeds are DISGUSTING!" Sworddog groaned.

Slutcat was laughing as they entered the store. Within, the shopkeep was in full argument mode with another lady. Apparently someone had broken into his shop and stole some sort of golden talisman in the shape of a claw. She bought a little food but then the owner made her an offer if she could go to Bleak Falls Barrow where he thought the thieves were and get the claw back.

"A quest eh? What do you think Sworddog? Want to go rob some robbers? We could certainly use the gold."

The dog shrugged as only a dog can. "Sure. Why not? I think we're pretty good in a fight now that you've got your Spark spell. Let's go for it!"

Slutcat turned back to the shopkeeper and agreed to take on the mission. The lady, Camilla, turned out to be the shopkeeper's sister and she walked with them to the bridge out of town, explaining how to get to the Barrow. before they left her.

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Other than a lone wolf attack, the climb up towards the Barrow was pretty uneventful, but even Sworddog helped her take down the wolf this time.

"I thought you said..." Slutcat began as they continued upwards.

"A bitch. We can kill bitches. Kill ALL the bitches," Sworddog said, licking the blood from her muzzle.

"Well! You've certainly become a bloodthirsty savage since a few days ago."

"When in Rome..."

"SHHH!" hissed Slutcat, looking towards the camera. "That phrase doesn't work here!"

Before they got to the Barrow, however, they saw a small tower with a couple of people. Slutcat waved to them, hoping they would let her use their bathroom. But they were having none of it.

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"Come no closer." the woman warned, while her mate said "That's far enough!" menacingly.

"But, I really have to go! I promise I won't, like, use all your toilet paper or anything!"

Suddenly the man attacked, but Slutcat was ready for him and had her spark spell out in an instant.

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His one blow glanced off her vest as she knew it would and then he was down.

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But an arrow flew by too close for comfort and she knew from past experience that arrows seemed to be immune to her inverse-proportionality-armor rule.

However, Sworddog was already on the woman before she could nock another arrow and with her added spark attack, she too was down.

Her body fell over the side of the small bridge leading to the tower and Slutcat looked over the side to verify she was dead. Then she relieved herself from the bridge.

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"Oh, that's harsh," Sworddog winced.

"Well, she's dead anyway and I gotta go!"

"But... right THERE?"

Slutcat smiled an evil smile. "When you gotta go..."

Inside the tower Slutcat found a nice little bag of gold and a few more odds and ends she thought might be worth holding onto before she began to climb to higher floors. One door led to an outside ramp of sorts and she felt a strong sense of vertigo as she climbed it.

"Never heard of fucking HANDRAILS here?" she complained to Sworddog.

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Once on the higher floor they were surprised by another bandit, but he made the idiotic mistake of announcing his presence rather than using surprise to his advantage. He did land one blow on Sworddog's armor before the Sparks felled him, but Sworddog refused any healing potion.

"No," she said as she urinated on the dead body. "I'm fine."

"Hey, I thought you said..." Slutcat said.

"...you gotta GO!" Sworddog snickered as they climbed the last stair where a large chest awaited them. It wasn't even locked and Slutcat's eyes glistened as she opened it. Within, though, there was no Golden Claw, though there was a large amount of gold that she was pleased to store in her magical inventory.

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"I guess we have to go to the actual Barrow after all."

"Looks like it," said Sworddog as they left the tower and proceeded further up the trail.

The day was getting towards late afternoon as they turned a corner and caught sight of the Barrow.

"Big sucker," Sworddog noted as they stopped to watch for anyone ahead.

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"And kinda scary looking," Slutcat had to admit. "I think I see some people wandering around too. Think they'll just let us in?"

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"I doubt it," Sworddog said. "I think I feel the urge to pee again."

"Me too," Slutcat said, crouching low and readying her Sparks.

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