Slutcat and Sworddog #9
#11 of Slutcat
The Great Barrow Architects
In which Slutcat and Sworddog apparently must have encountered some EXTREMELY industrious spiders, watch a man die of trap-arrows, and consider the supremely intelligent minds who devise a clever combination trap and then sculpt the combination answer right in front of the trap. And more Slutcat butt.
|
Fortunately the spiderwebs lightened up, and then Slutcat made a discovery.
"HEY! There's gold in this urn! Quick! Look in every urn around!"
"Slutcat, that's going to take forever. Let's just find this golden claw thing and get out, okay?"
"Well... I might spot check a few more anyway..." she said, not wanting to leave gold laying around behind them.
| 
|
|
"SHHH!" Sworddog hissed. "Do you hear that? There's someone up ahead."
"But you said... the cobwebs!"
"Very very industrious spiders I guess?"
Slutcat and Sworddog crept silently towards an open door where a man was talking to himself, yet as they approached the doorway, he seemed to make a decision and pulled a large lever situated squarely in the middle of the room ahead.
"What's he doing?" whispered Slutcat.
"I think he's trying to open that gate beyond," Sworddog whispered back.
| 
|
|
Suddenly the sound of arrows filled the room ahead and the man was dead.
"Okaaaay. Let's not pull any levers we don't know about," Slutcat decided, staring at the body of the man just ahead.
| 
|
|
"Well, there's got to be some way to get that gate open."
"But my inverse-proportionality armor doesn't stop arrows."
"Maybe we can disarm the trap somehow..." Sworddog mused as he and Slutcat looked around the room.
| 
|
|
"What's up there?" Slutcat said, noticing some stairs that led up to a balcony of sorts.
"A lot of nothing," Sworddog sniffed.
"Hold on a minute... these carvings. They're like those little dildos downstairs."
"Right? And your point is?"
"Well... I don't know. Let me think..."
| 
|
|
"So," Slutcat mused, "Upstairs there are three carvings. Tentacle, Tentacle, Slippery Eel."
"I only saw two upstairs. A snake and a fish."
"But one has fallen down. See, this would have been a Tentacle when it was up there."
"Why do you call it a Tentacle? It's obviously a snake."
"Tentacle. And that's a Slippery Eel. You see what you want, I'll see what I want."
| 
|
|
She stood up and walked over to one of the little pillar things.
"And here we have three more... OH! Hey! It turns!"
"Now that's interesting. Say... you don't suppose..."
Slutcat sat back down. "No. It can't be that simple. Someone with the technology to create such a complex trap system wouldn't do all that then paste the combination to the lock in bold statues right overhead. No, we must still be missing something."
| 
|
|
Minutes went by, but neither had any new ideas. Finally, Slutcat stood up, stretched her legs and began turning the pillars till they matched the statues overhead.
"Well hell. I don't have any other ideas!" she said.
| 
|
|
"To be honest, that dead guy did just stand there after he pulled the lever. Let's run away as soon as we pull it how about? I doubt the trap arrows can follow us around the room after all!"
"That," Sworddog agreed, "is a very good idea."
Slutcat positioned herself ready pull the lever and run.
"Ready?" she asked the dog.
"Ready!" barked Sworddog.
| 
|
|
The gate in front of them rolled up as they raced to get out of the way of arrows that never came.
| 
|
|
"We did it!" Slutcat laughed, then turned back to the door behind them and looked at the dead man. She sat beside the big dog.
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Sworddog asked.
"Probably. I'm thinking there are a lot of really stupid people here, including the people who built this place."
"Yes, and those stupid people are getting fewer every day," Sworddog agreed.
| 
|