FSE

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formerly SoFurry search engine

By some miracle the rest of the night went off without a hitch. Mom ordered pizza from Pizza Shack, which is normally just sort of tastes decent to me, but after Dad's charred lumps of ash that he claimed were 'burgers', it tasted like fucking ambrosia. On top of that, there weren't any more bad dad jokes, no more inappropriate sexual talk at the dinner table, and no more prayers to Satan (can't believe I just said that...). And praise *insert non-Satan deity of your choice here*, my parents started talking about normal things like how school was going for me and Daren, what we thought of the recent season of Game of Crowns, and what our favorite bands were (Turns out Daren's a heavy metal fan. He even knew some of Ann's favorite Icelandic symphonic metal [???] bands, go figure). Finally got around to asking how the hell Daren figured out where I lived too: apparently he used the school's phone directory (whatever that is), to figure out my home's address and land line number.

The only thing embarrassing that happened was that, at one point, the story of how I 'came out of the closet' to my parents came up in conversation. Of course I never actively told them, the damn snoops just figured out from looking at my browser history. Which, if the conversation started and ended with that it wouldn't have been so bad, but good ol' Dad for some reason felt it necessary to mention how HILARIOUS it was that one of the sites he noticed I visited was... ugh... www.mustelidmuscledaddies.com (THEY HAVE A GOOD VIDEO SELECTION, OKAY?!). It was bad enough that he still remembered that from several years ago, let alone mentioning it to my GODDAMN CRUSH. So after I called him out in protest Dad *conveniently* remembered that he promised not to embarrass me anymore. While that little episode was pretty cringy, compared to the pace of 5 embarrassing moments a minute from earlier in the day, it wasn't all that bad.

It was around 8 PM when Daren announced that he had better get going home soon, which was really fortuitous, because Dad had just requested that we play Monopoly together, which let me tell you, there is _no_better way to make the people you're with hate you than to play Monopoly with them.

I asked Daren if we could have a quick chat before he left. I really needed it, because I was desperate to just get some closure and relief from all the bizarro-world batshit crazy things that had happened tonight. He agreed and we decided to have out chat on the front porch while Dad warmed up the car. We said nothing else to each other all throughout walking to the foyer, putting our shoes on and going outside. Daren and I sat down on the top porch-step, only a few inches between us. Then I looked at Daren. He looked back at me. I cracked a smile, then so did he. A giggle slipped out, and then we broke out in full on laughter, all the tense and awkward feelings that had accrued over the night finally finding release. I had to put a paw on the big Rottie's shoulder and lean on him to stop myself from doubling over on my back from just the sheer intensity of our laughter. A few times I thought I'd finished laughing, but then I'd look at Daren trying to calm himself down and suddenly find myself bursting into laughter again, rinse and repeat for a good three minutes.

"That was one hell of a night," I finally said, wiping a tear trailing down my black cheek fur.

"Yeah, was fun, heheh. Glad I came over," Daren said with a slight smile that accentuated his strong cheekbones and his shapely brown and black muzzle. Seeing that cute and sexy smile almost made the embarrassing trials and tribulations my family put me through worth it. The keyword here is 'almost'.

Breathing out deeply I released the final urges to start giggling again. "I nearly died from embarrassment-induced cardiac arrest multiple times, but I'm glad it sort of worked out in the end... although, I'm still trying to wrap my head around why you ever wanted to meet my family..." I said with my eyes looking downwards at nowhere in particular. Shaking my head, the worst moments of the night resurfacing briefly in my fickle mind, simultaneously imagining evil caricatures of my parents and sister laughing manically at my expense.

Daren's smile dissipated, replaced instead by his usual neutral and stoic expression. "Well, you been so evasive with yo' family I sorta thought, I dunno, that maybe you too ashamed of me to introduce to yo' folks or somethin', so I wanted to find out for myself."

I took an empathetic punch to the gut. My ears folded back, "What? No! Daren, why would I ever be ashamed of you?"

He averted his gaze. I caught quick glimmer of pain in his eyes. "'Cause I'm poor, 'cause I talk funny, 'cause I'm a Dog... Also 'cause I... ain't have any other friends...ain't nobody else like me here, makes ya wonder if somethin' wrong wit'chu..."

My heart nearly broke as I felt my gut sink. God, seeing Daren's sudden vulnerability was like realizing you accidently stepped on a puppy's tail. It's easy to forget that Daren's got a soft side considering how big and bulky he is, but the guy can be really hard on himself. "Oh, Daren... First of all none of those things matter to me, and also you're amazing and wonderful, not to mention really handsome, so believe me when I tell me there's nothing wrong with you!" trying my best to sound as reassuring as possible, I wrapped my arms around the Rottie's sizeable torso and embraced him in a light squeeze.

He looked at me, deep hazel eyes uncertain, no attempts to reciprocate the hug. "...That so?"

I nodded firmly, my eyes resolutely focused on Daren's. "Yeah..."

"Then why you ain't ever invite me over?" he asked with a defensive snark.

_Rob uses 'Affectionate Words' on Daren! It's not very effective... _

I hesitated. Maybe hugging him at that moment wasn't the best idea. He probably thought I was trying to worm my way out of an explanation with affectionate gestures. I slowly retracted from the hug.

"Y-You met my family, they're insane! Nice, but insane!" I said while awkwardly rubbing the back of my head with my eyes rolled back at a slant.

"They ain't that crazy. I feel like you hidin' somethin' Rob."

"Well, I dunno... that's really most of it-"

"-Rob..."

"I mean, what does it even really mean to 'hide something'? English can be a really ambiguous language!"

"Rob!"

...Guess there was no worming my way out of this one. You know, up until this point I put up a good show of chalking up that me not wanting Daren to meet my family was purely a 'convenience/my family is crazy' kind of thing. But he was right, of course he was. Even if I didn't want to admit it, deep down there was another reason. I relented, the words rolling off my tongue with an uneven stammer, "Okay, okay, fine... I'm still... sort of... coming to terms with the, whole... 'being gay', thing... I just don't like to bring it up to my family, especially my parents. I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it if I ever brought you over... So, yeah, it wasn't ever a problem with you Daren... I mean it."

There was a pause, I became oddly aware of how much Daren was blinking. "Oh..." was all the Rottie said, once again breaking his gaze with me, now staring contemplatively at the expensive perennials and ferns adorning the walkway to the porch. Awkward silence permeated the air for a few moments. Daren seemed genuinely surprised that the reason didn't have anything to do with him, his gaze pensive but uncertain. I inadvertently started rubbing my arm.

He finally looked back at me. "But yo' parents so chill 'bout you bein' gay. What you got to be afraid of?"

What don't I have to be afraid of with them?

"But you saw how they were about the whole gay thing! My mom's obsessed with knowing whether I'm a bottom or a top and my dad's afraid if I ever do bottom I'll die from anal rupture!"

"Well you ever 'splain those things to them?"

...Oh.

It was a totally plain and un-accusatory question and yet it completely caught me off guard. It suddenly hit me like a sack of brick to the noggin; this whole time there was this obvious get-around to my dilemma, yet for some reason it never occurred to me to do so. Trying to explain why I hadn't was kind of like trying to explain why you cleaned your ass with your thumb when there was a perfectly good extra roll of toilet paper in the lower sink-cabinet. ...N-Not like that's ever happened to me. "Uh, well there was that one time we had a conversation about it after they figured out I was gay from checking my browser history..."

"'sides that."

"Oh, uh... then, maybe... not."

Daren looked at me with an annoyed 'are you for fucking real' look, "Well no shit, Rob! Don't be expectin' people to get somethin' if you ain't never talk to them 'bout it!"

"I... Well, you know it's..." Nope, there really wasn't anything I could say to refute that. I let out a frustrated, resigned sigh. "...You're absolutely right."

"Damn straight I am. They good people, and if you just talked to them 'bout it for a while I'm sure you'd realize there ain't no reason to be 'shamed about bein' gay 'round 'em." Daren shifted uncomfortably, his ears sagged as he stared off to the side, wistfully. "I wish you'd realize how good they is, 'cause I'm kinda jealous you have 'em, actually..." He wasn't frowning, but there was a mote of sadness in his tone.

I felt my lower lip peel downward in astonishment. "...Jealous?"

He nodded and crossed his arms, suddenly vulnerable. It took a while for the words to come out, and he was muttering them quietly, like it was something he wasn't used to telling anybody. "I ain't ever had a family meal like that before. It always just been me and my mom. She busy workin' two jobs too, so she hardly got any chances to spend time with me, let alone cook a meal. We ain't got no extended family either... least nobody we on speaking terms with. So this actually my first real family meal."

I felt my jaw slide fully open, and I felt deep regretful shame start to creep in my nerves. Here I was focused on how embarrassing I felt, when I didn't even bother to think of Daren's position. Every time today I ragged on my family for being crazy to Daren it wasn't just me being an ass, it was also me conveying to him that I thought family wasn't something important, when he hardly even had one! Oh boy, oh wow, oh... fuck me. "This whole time I've been such a...Daren, I'm sorry, I... didn't realize."

He shrugged a little, leaning forward and resting his head on the palm of his paw. "Ain't nothing to 'pologize for. Been hard, but I've learned how to deal. S'all good now..."

I knew there's no way his words could convey how hard his life had actual been. It would probably take several upcoming chapters a whole damn movie to decently convey all the shit he's been through, but all he could say about it was 'been hard'. I both wanted to hit myself for being so stupid and selfish, and wanted to do something to comfort Daren. But I was at a loss for words. It was an uncomfortable feeling, wanting to comfort somebody, but not knowing how to do so.

All I figured I could do was something small for him. I'm not sure where the idea came from, but I put my paw on his bulky muscular back, and starting rubbing gently. He looked over at me, a bit confused. I could feel myself blushing under my black fur. He gave me a slight half smile then, and then looked back into the distance.

We stayed that way for a few moments. It was nice. Awkward, but nice.

"...Well, guess I better get goin' soon. Yo' Dad must be waitin'."

"Uh, yeah..." I stammered as he stood up and walked down the remaining two steps. It probably would have been fine to just let him leave like that, but something felt incomplete, like there was still something I could do... something I should do.

...I had another idea.

"Daren, wait!" I called out. He turned back, curious. I walked up to him real close, my heart pounding a mile a minute. Daren looked at me expectantly. I gulped down my spit. What're you so nervous about? Not like you're a virgin anymore! I took a deep exaggerated breath, fisted my paws for resolve, then I pecked Daren on the lips real fast. ...a little too fast maybe, it was more like a woodpecker hitting a piece of wood rather than a kiss goodbye.

Daren blinked at me a few times then cocked his head, dumbfounded, or maybe amused? "The hell was that?"

I started to sweat. I once again found myself rubbing the back of my head awkwardly, except this time I was rubbing fast enough to produce a watt of static electricity. "That's to say, thanks for, uh... the advice... and stuff. Uh, Sorry..."

Daren broke into a jagged snarky laughter. "That was the most awkward kiss I ever had."

It was like a kick to the balls, not that I didn't deserve one. I thought it would be romantic, but I guess I was just being a clueless dork again... I felt my ears fold back, my whiskers sag, and my tail tuck itself between my legs. It felt like all of my blood was either clotting or rushing to my head to burst from sheer humiliation.

God I suck at this...

He looked at my pathetic state and shook his head with a light smile. "Was cute though... here," With his right paw he grabbed at my muzzle from underneath, and pulled me in firmly, our muzzles merging in a deep, passionate kiss. From pain to pleasure, despair to passion, I felt an electric surge rush from my lips all the way down to my feet. My toes curled, and so did my tail. After the initial electric surge, I felt like I was melting in the Rottie's strong grip.

Holy hell...

While I was still in utter shock, our lips parted, and, releasing his grip on my muzzle, Daren pinched at my cheek affectionately between his thumb and index finger. "That's how you kiss goodbye." And with that, he took his leave over to the driveway (thankfully Dad hadn't pulled the car out of the garage yet so he didn't see any of that).

"...Goodbye..." I said dumbly, knees wobbly. Watching Daren's stubby tail wag on his sizeable butt just made the wobbling even worse.

That was amazing, but wait...wasn't there something incredibly important that I needed to address? What was it... oh yeah!

"Daren, wait!" He turned to address me, looking a little irritated that I ruined his super cool sexy goodbye. "There's just one last thing I need to ask you. Earlier today, when you said you'd go out with me if I calmed down, did you mean it? Are you really ready to like... be my boyfriend?"

I have no idea what happened at that moment, but the mood shifted dramatically. It was like the author was trying to lazily retcon a previous poorly written scenesome fiber of the universe snapped, because suddenly everything was hilarious! HERPDY DERPDY

Daren's eyes opened super wide and his pupils dilated like he was high on cocaine. "Not yet! I just used that as an excuse to calm yo' ass down, haha!" Daren said with a huge open-muzzle grin.

"Wow! That's strangely dishonest, shitty and out-of-character for you!" I said with a big dumb grin of my own.

"I know, right? It's almost like it was a rushed idea thrown together at the last minute in order to create some contrived dick joke or the other!" Oh look, Daren's accent was magically gone!

"Isn't that just the story of my life!" Fists to our hips, we laughed heartily, at this totally-not forced conversation. Then after exactly 6.9 seconds of laughing we abruptly stopped in unison, expressions suddenly dead serious. "Let's pretend like that never happened."

"Agreed."

Emotional atmosphere returning to normal in, 3, 2, 1...

Our normal sensibilities suddenly back, Daren and I looked around to our sides, completely confused as to what the hell just happened.

"That was weird..." he said, his floppy left ear sticking up in confusion.

"...Yeah" I said, staring at my paws, uncertain of my own sense of reality.

Daren and I looked at each other, and just shrugged. "Well, see ya... lover boy," he said with warm genuine smile. Aaaaand the butterflies in my gut were back. His smile kills me every time...

Daren never waved goodbye, instead he just raised his right paw over his shoulder as he walked back. I loved how he did that. It was so very Daren. "...See ya," I managed before Daren was out of earshot.

"Oh, and you should talk to yo folks," he shouted out when he was at the bend heading toward the garage.

"Alright, I think I can do that," I shouted back without a second thought, still half feeling like a love-stricken mess. I just stood there for a while, warm gooey lovey feelings ebbing throughout my body. I heard the car start and I waved goodbye as Daren and Dad headed out, until they pulled out entirely from the cul-de-sac. It took me a while to realize that I must have had the world's biggest dumbest smile on my muzzle at that moment. ...and wait, did I just unhesitatingly say that I'd talk to my parents? Wow.

This was when I realized that Daren had this effect on me.

If it were any other gay crush, at the end of this disastrous day I probably would have just gone straight up to my room without talking to my parents, checked the score on the Cleveland Browns match I missed (even though they undoubtedly lost), watched some shitty U-tube videos in a numb stupor, and then cried myself to sleep out of the sheer embarrassment. But somehow, through talking to Daren and just breathing in his je ne sais quoi... I didn't just feel okay, I actually felt pretty good! Like, I could be a better person and that there was HOPE for things to get better about this whole 'gay' thing, isn't that just the darndest thing? And it's all because of Daren's Daren-y-ness, does that make sense? Probably not, but who cares! Because I feel like I'm falling for the big Rottie all over again, and for reasons that AREN'T physical! WOW! Was I grinning like a moron again? I was totally grinning like a moron again!

...But as much as I wanted to just stand there and bask in my love-stricken butterflies...yeah, I guess real world responsibility is sort of still a thing. ...Talk to my parents, huh? How was I going to go about doing that?

Well, for starters I guess I could explain to Mom that as a gay guy you aren't magically designated as 'top' or 'bottom' like they're two rigid categories. You can do both, even in the same session (fun fact kids, that's called flip-flopping! I learned that from porn!). After all, even though I topped the first time, I'd be interested in flip flopping or even straight up bottoming for Daren... Speaking of bottoming, once Dad gets back, I ought to tell him that 'anal rupture' from bottoming really isn't that likely of an occurrence, probably not any more than vaginal sex anyway (not that I'd know). You know, small steps. This could be a good baseline for now, maybe I'll think of some other things later.

Look at me, taking responsibility for my sexuality for once, who'd have thought...