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The Porn Note

Chapter 11: Paging the Porn Lord

By Draconicon

Malcolm awoke from his enforced nap with a headache and more than a little soreness in his balls. It almost felt like AMI had continued milking them even after he'd fallen asleep, draining him more and more through his 'nap.' The mouse groaned as he pulled himself upright, waiting for the sound of the AI to get his attention, but there was nothing. Either she was dormant, or she didn't want him to know she was paying attention.

Whichever it was, he didn't feel comfortable in the hotel room anymore. Looking out the window and seeing that it was a little after four or so, judging by the sun's position, he got out of bed and quickly pulled his clothes on. The notebook was still on the stand, and he pulled it up and wrote in it.

Rashii and Taj will meet me on the beach past the dunes, stripping down to nothing and happily showing off on the way there.

It was just sexy enough to give his cock a twitch, so he knew it would work. He hurried to the hotel door, pulled it open - being half-convinced that it would be locked to keep him in - and made his way out of the building. He took the stairs rather than the elevator. If the AI was against him - or even spying on him - he didn't want to be in a place where she could so easily lock him down. Even with the notebook, there were limits to how much he could accomplish with magic.

The clerk at the front desk was the same orca that had welcomed him and the others to the hotel when they'd been disguised as prostitutes, though thankfully he wasn't recognized as he walked by. The orca gave him a polite nod, but that was all.

"Hey."

The mouse jumped as he was ambushed by Nataraj as soon as he walked around the corner, the lizard right in his face as if he'd been waiting. Pressing his hand over his rapidly beating heart, he glared down at the reptile. It had no effect, Nataraj just grinning up at him.

"So, when do I get to play with the orca?"

"Maybe later. I have to get something else done now."

"But...but I wanted his feet."

"Seriously, not right now. This is something important."

"But -"

"Please, just let me -"

"...You're serious, aren't you? How bad -"

"Bad enough that you're going to get in trouble too, if you don't stop pushing me with questions."

The lizard jumped out of his way, still muttering about orca feet as the mouse made his way towards the beach. The staff of the hotel stayed out of his way, though he knew that some of them were staring at him. He hoped that it was just because of his hurry and his bad mood, and not because some of them were System agents or something like that. He debated writing something about that into the notebook, telling the Book of Porn to make all System agents dance in the streets naked for the next five minutes, but that might have been too vague for it. In any case, he didn't have time.

As soon as he left the hotel, he started jogging, moving faster than he should as he kicked over sandcastles and almost tripped over a half-buried vacationer in the process. Shouting apologies behind him, the mouse kept on running, his legs moving faster and faster the further he got from the hotel, feeling his fear mount up as he realized how very screwed they could all be.

If AMI's part of System, there's no way that Jonah doesn't know something already, but...but what does she mean, I'm safe with her? What does that mean? What the hell does that mean?!

The fact that he couldn't figure it out dug at him, making him more and more agitated as he finally reached the dunes that he'd set for the meeting place. Slumping down against the nearest one, he panted for breath. Glancing over his shoulder at the hotel, he felt more like he was looking back at some great monster than a hotel destination, and he wondered if they really had any hope of getting away. If a System AI had followed them this far...

No, you don't know what she is, yet. Figure it out first, and then you can figure out what you need to do next.

Malcolm took one deep breath, and then another, continuing the pattern until his heart was settled again. By the time he felt anywhere near calm, the naked bodies of his friends were on the horizon. The snake and the tiger were half-dancing, half-walking their way along, showing off and getting grins - and Rashii getting numbers written down and shoved between her breasts - as they made their way along. He smiled slightly at that, and looked down at the book.

They can help. And more...they want to help.

Feeling a little better about their chances, he let them walk up and then tapped them on the arm, once each. They immediately froze, looked down at themselves, and facepalmed as one.

"For the love of - I know I said bring us in if you needed us, but I was hoping to keep my clothes on for a change."

"Well, I did...kinda...need you to come fast, and I didn't have any other ideas."

"You? No other ideas? Somehow, I don't believe that, mega-perv."

He blushed.

"Just because I've had to get pervier to use this right -"

"Hmmm, perhaps we should ignore the whole issue of being naked. If Malcolm did need us to come back so quickly, perhaps we should hear what he needed us for?"

"...Okay, fair enough. What is it?"

He looked back at the hotel again. Was AMI watching? Could she detect what they were doing this far off? An incidental bonus of having the two of them throw off their clothes meant that there wouldn't be any trackers in their pockets or anything like that, which was something of a plus. They could figure out what to do next without her patched through anything.

"Well?" Rashii nudged.

"It's about AMI."

"What about her?"

"She's...System."

Tiger and snake both went wide-eyed at the same time, with Rashii suddenly letting out a blistering stream of expletives while Taj leaned his fuzzy butt against one of the nearby dunes, one hand against his chin. He hmmed to himself, softly.

"Now that is interesting. How did you find that out?"

"I asked."

"And she just...told you?"

"Along with a few other things, about how she was supposed to preserve life, but that didn't stop her from causing harm if it would save more people."

"Hmmm, now that is a fascinating idea. How would a purely logical creature deduce what is worthwhile to save life versus what is too much harm to be worth it? Is it purely mathematical, or -"

"When the tiger's done talking about his philosophy, we got bigger problems," Rashii growled. "She's System? You're sure?"

"Sure as I can be."

"But there's no System guys here?"

"I...don't think so."

"Check."

"You mean...with the Book?"

"Now, yes."

He was about to object, but knew that there wasn't a point. Rashii was completely right, as ever. This was something that he could do, and if he didn't, then he was wasting a precious resource. There didn't seem to be any consequence for writing something that didn't work in the Book. It hadn't worked on Jonah, after all, and there hadn't been anything bad for him then.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained...

He pulled out the notebook and wrote a single sentence. As soon as he finished, he glanced around. He waited a full minute, just be sure, but nothing happened.

"No."

"You're sure? You're really fucking sure?"

"I think seeing anyone turn into a six-hundred-foot tall version of themselves, stripped and cumming, would be hard to miss."

"..."

"I have my own issues to deal with, okay?"

"Alright, don't want to know, don't want to know." Rashii shook her head. "But there's no System agents, which means that she's not helping them find us...but what about the others?"

"Others?"

"Crypto."

The thought sent a shiver down his spine. With all the fear he'd had of Jonah, with all the worry about being tracked down by System, he had almost forgotten about the other Book out there and it's wielder. Remembering the three-way call between him, Jonah, and Greydrone was...not pleasant, particularly as he remembered the death screams of people that Greydrone had killed over the call.

If the demon was after them as well...well, the Book wouldn't have affected them with what he wrote. He pulled it open again, writing out a different command.

"Oooooh!"

The sudden orgasmic scream from a few dozen feet away froze him in place, but not Rashii. The snake leaped out from around the dune, kicking off of the side as she charged around the corner. Taj grabbed him, pulling him along.

They arrived just in time to see Rashii knocking a wolf down to the ground, the large canine grunting and humping the ground as he came all over the place. Each thrust seemed to make him cum again, and again, and again, with an endless series of orgasms. Despite that...well, the bulge in his pants only seemed to be getting bigger, throbbing and dropping further into his swim trunks. Taj turned to him, an eyebrow arched up.

"What did you do to him?"

"I...wrote down that Crypto agents would have large, hyper-productive sexes. I guess that the Book took it a little too literally."

Rashii clicked a pair of handcuffs on the wolf - though he had no idea where she'd gotten them - and then flipped him over. The three of them stared at the thick length that was still growing, pushing up and out of the swim trunks. The tip was already halfway across the wolf's belly, almost at his pecs, while his balls were big enough to make the canine almost go spread-eagle. It was like seeing someone that was more of a carrier for his cock than the cock was part of his body.

Malcolm slowly walked up, looking down at the moaning, shuddering agent. He looked no different from everyone else on the beach, no different from anybody else on vacation. He'd expected someone that worked for the land of death to be more...scary.

"You okay, big guy?"

"Nnngh. Fine, fine enough. Just really - mmmph!"

The wolf thrust upwards, a shot of cum powerful enough to have come from a firehose shooting through the air. It narrowly missed Rashii, landing on an orca woman a few feet away. She didn't seem to notice what had happened, only rubbing the wolf cum in like it was sunscreen.

Despite the massive volume of the seed shot, there was no shrinkage in the wolf's groin. If anything, it was still growing, still getting bigger. Malcolm stared at him for a moment, shaking his head in awe at the power of the Book. It was like it would bend reality at a whim, if it needed to. It was beyond anything that he had actually written but...he had to admit that this was quite a bit sexier than just having something grow a little bit and then start cumming a lot.

"So...I..."

How did one even make an accusation like this? He had the proof, but it wasn't exactly proof that worked in court. Taj cleared his throat.

"Pardon me, sir wolf, but may I ask you a few questions?"

"Seems a bit odd, but sure."

"Thank you, good sir. I notice that you are dangling a dong that is downright dangerous for this dune-filled location. I would ask, why would you be sporting such a thing?"

"You think I know? I always had this thing."

"Oh really? Please, do me a slight favor, and touch the notebook that my friend is carrying."

"Why would I do that?"

"Consider it an indulgence for me. If it helps, I'll indulge that mighty thing as well?"

"...Heh, what the hell? Why not?"

The wolf reached out and touched the notebook with his nose, and as soon as he did, his eyes went wide. He tried to pull himself up, but Rashii stomped a scaly foot down on his shoulder, keeping him pinned to the earth. He grumbled, shaking his head rapidly, but there was no escape for him.

"Let me go, you assholes! Do you know who I am?"

"Biggus Dickus?" Taj asked.

"Oh, fuck you, Stripey!"

"Well...this is a little more what I expected of a Crypto agent..."

Malcolm shook his head at the utter transformation of the wolf from someone that was mildly pleasant, if confused, to someone that was this angry. It wasn't a stripping away of a magical effect, he believed, but the Book had given the wolf the knowledge of what had happened to him. Possibly it had even given him the idea of why.

The mouse flipped the Book open, and immediately the wolf went still. He stared up, his eyes wide with fear, and it took Malcolm a second to understand why.

Of course...where he's from, a Book being opened like this means that someone's going to die. He must think he's about to be executed.

"You have any last words?" he asked, trying to sound more intimidating than he was. It must have worked, though, because the wolf shook his head.

"No, please, please, don't do this to me. I can't...I didn't want to hurt you. Not yet, I mean."

"What do you mean?"

"Lord Greydrone. He's not looking to kill you. He doesn't want you dead. He just wants you to keep away from Jonah, for now."

"So why are you here, if that's all he wants?"

"Well..."

He lifted his pen, and the wolf continued.

"He doesn't want you to just stay here. He wants you to keep moving. Keep doing things. Not just sitting here and doing nothing."

"I'm not like them. I don't want to rule some part of the world."

"Well, we somewhat are doing that, already," Taj pointed out.

"But not because..."

He sighed.

"Look. I don't want to be bothered by either of them. I just want to live a good life, have fun, and then...well, I don't know. Just get old, die happy, and get rid of this thing so that Jonah never finds it."

"..."

"Hello?"

The wolf was slack, and he realized that he was talking to someone that wasn't there anymore. A little vomit rose in the back of his throat as he pulled away, and he had to turn away and hold a hand over his mouth to keep from puking all over the ground.

Oh god, Greydrone just killed him. The demon just killed one of his own men because he got caught. Oh fuck. Oh, fuck!

"Mal? Mal, are you okay?"

Rashii's hand was on his shoulder, and he grabbed it, pulling it down to the notebook. He waved at Taj, and the tiger did the same, grabbing hold of it and squeezing it tight. He didn't know if it would work like this, if the three of them could actually stay safe this way. Hell, he didn't know if he could stay safe this way, if Greydrone ever decided to get serious about coming after him, but it was their only chance.

He looked to his side. Taj's face was rather pale beneath his fur, and he knew that the tiger hadn't expected that. Hell, who could have?

"We need to move."

"Yeah...yeah, I'd say you're right, Rashii."

"Back to the -"

"No, different hotel. We need...we need to get out..."

"Why?"

"AMI's in this one. We should go somewhere else, where she's not such a presence."

"Okay, I won't argue with that, but what about our stuff?"

"I can get that sent to us. For now, we gotta go!"

#

They eventually settled on one of the intentionally themed locations on the other side of the island, where the rooms were more like bungalows and the staff were trained not to ask too many questions. Malcolm and Taj started setting up the room, while Rashii was writing some stuff in the Book. He'd handed it off to her, telling her to start trapping the place with anything that she could think of, and she'd taken to it with gusto.

"Anybody stepping through the door will be immediately restrained by a twenty-foot tall mech-dog that wants to rape their ass with tentacle tongues..."

He shivered at the stuff that she was coming up with, wondering if the Book would somehow find a way of making such things possible. The second he had the question, he knew it would. The thing bent reality all the time. The idea of making a massive mech-assault dog that had tentacle tongues was somehow mildly more plausible than having a constantly-orgasming giant straddling the city. It just wasn't sexy to him.

Instead of paying attention to that, he worked with Taj to strip the place of any and all electronics. The idea of AMI being part of the room was the last thing that he wanted to think of. Even with her promise of keeping him safe, he was sure that there was some sort of technicality that would leave him vulnerable if she could actually get in. Better to just push her out, and keep her out.

When they had gone through the walls, even going so far as to rip the hut apart until it was about ready to fall over, he was finally satisfied. Malcolm held out his hand for the notebook, with Rashii holding up one finger.

"Hold on, one more idea."

"Quickly, quickly!"

"Yeah, yeah. If an AI tries to enter the room, it will be forced to have electronic orgasms that short out the entire system that it is in. There."

"Thank you."

"No problem, that was kinda fun. Taj, get over here."

"The licker of ladies is, of course, at your service."

As the tiger stepped past and started eating out their military friend, he looked down at the book. After setting an order for free repair work to fix up the hut - including that the repairmen should come in and work in nothing but overalls that covered the front, but not the back - he started trying to think of a way that might block the other Books. What did he know about the rules that he could abuse?

Not much. He knew that the Books couldn't affect each other, or the holders. Jonah and Greydrone couldn't kill or purify or heal him while he was holding the Book, nor could they damage the Book itself. But what were the rules aside from that?

There's no way of knowing, he thought. I didn't even know about that rule until they told me. I didn't know that I couldn't use the magic of this book without it being sexy...

Wait. Did that mean that there was something about the other Books that limited them as well? Could Jonah not heal someone that he didn't find deserving of it? Could Greydrone not kill someone that he couldn't convince himself was worthy of that judgment?

...Fuck, if that's the case, we might have a chance...

There was no way of knowing for sure, though, and the only way of finding out would mean leaving them open for some sort of attack. So far, Jonah didn't know anything about Rashii or Taj, probably because he hadn't gone through the school records to find out who hung out with who yet. In time, though, Jonah would know who his comrades were, and when he had the names, he could start doing things.

But it was Crypto that he was worried about. Jonah could only 'purify' someone, or heal them. Maybe, maybe, at a stretch, he might be able to use the Book of Life to make someone confess something to purify their own guilt about something, but that was the furthest extension of the other Book's ability that he could think of. The Book of Death, however...

If I was really, really lucky, Greydrone would just make them sick, he thought, looking at his friends. And if I'm not...he'd kill them.

At the same time, he needed to know. There had to be other ways of figuring it out, of knowing what the limits of the books were, but...but he couldn't figure out what they might be. He sat back on the bed, looking down at the pages in front of him. So many things that he could write, so many different things that he might be able to affect in the world, and not one of them was useful for understanding the tool in front of him.

Rrrrrring. Rrrrrrring.

He blinked.

"Uh...I thought we unplugged the communicator."

"We did...and smashed it...and shot it," Rashii muttered.

"Then how is it ringing?"

The mouse turned to the ruins of the holo-phone, hardly able to believe that it was still making any sound. He hesitated, then slowly picked it up, turning it on.

"Hello?"

The hologram popped up, red on the borders with a black screen. He groaned even before the many-armed demon stepped into view.

"Oh, no."

"Paging Dr. Porn. Paging the Porn Master. Hello, am I talking to you here?"

"..."

"Come on, I know you're there."

"Fine..."

Taj and Rashii were just out of sight, but they could see the hologram from the other end. The demon chuckled as he looked down at the mouse, Malcolm trying not to look as scared as he felt.

"Well, that took quite a while. I was starting to think you wouldn't pick up the phone."

"How did you even manage to call this number? We blew it up."

"Book of Death, remember?" The demon held up his notebook, waggling it about. "It might just sound like it kills things, but oh, the other things it can do once something has passed on."

"..."

"Oh, why the sour face?"

"You killed one of your agents, just because I found him."

"Wroooooong. I killed him because he was telling you the wrong information."

"What are you talking about?"

"Heh, I don't just want you to avoid Jonah. That's only part of my plan."

"Uh-huh. And what kind of plan is that?"

"Oh, that's very simple." Greydrone's smile disappeared. "The destruction of all three books."

The End