Addiction
Triggers for depression, addiction, and self-harming; I s'pose. Just something I wrote while listening to "hell is where I dreamt of you and woke up alone" by Blackbear as I reflected on everything going on in my life recently. Obvious drug references seeing as it's in the first line.
I'll just crush up another pill and take another sip
Finally numbing up to the point that you won't have to hear my "lip"
and soon it will all come violently crashing down around me
Being incessantly high just isn't the way that one should be.
But here I am hiding underneath my hoodie to cover up these deep cuts
I've been smoking so much that the ashtray is overflowing with cigarette butts
Honestly my mind is a warzone where there will be nothing left alive
And yet somehow hidden deep inside of my mind there's a force driving me to strive.
I don't want to live my life addicted like this and yet I don't want to wind up dead
But I'm so deep into it that I'll just take another line straight to my head
Nobody knows just how badly I'm suffering and they'll never see how dead I am inside
But it's better off that way because there is just no way in hell that I'll ever confide.