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Core's Opportunity--Chapter 10 by Zmeydros

In the dream he has just before he wakes up, he's on stage with that shark fucking her while stroking both of her cocks. She's moaning a lot like the way Millie did when he saw her masturbate.

He wakes up to his cock throbbing and rubbing against the bed while he lies on his stomach. Millie's not there, but he hears her moaning down the hallway.

In his groggy state with that dream still fresh in his mind, he wanders over to the guest bedroom and opens the door. Millie stops shoving her vibrator in and stares at the bulge in his pajamas. A dark corner of his mind tells him to just get it over with since Millie's probably the only person he'll ever have sex with. And the only reason he feels safe having sex with her is that she accidentally found out about his secret.

He pushes back at those thoughts and thinks about leaving, but he's so sick of masturbating alone, of having these fantasies where he's finally having sex with another person. If he keeps running away from it, he'll never get what he actually wants. Yesterday, he fell into his old pattern of fear and worry and it screwed everything up.

As he walks up to the bed, Millie says, "Are you actually going to join me?"

He nods unable to admit to himself what he's actually doing. Gritting his teeth, he pulls off his pajamas. He's sick of himself, he's sick of all the things he tells himself he can't do, he's sick of everyone getting to enjoy sex while he hides himself from the world. There's no other way for him to get what he needs. He should just accept what Millie's offered him so many times and force himself to get over his fear.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

No answer comes to mind. He's feeling desperate, horny, and hopeless. He just wants to feel someone hold him and touch him and enjoy his body. Someone touch him in the way he wants to be touched and not like the way awful horrible Rudy did. His desperation drove that woman away from him like he was a monster. Facing his fear is the only way forward. "I'm just really nervous." He can't get himself to smile so she knows it's okay. What's wrong with him?

"Are you sure you want this?" She asks.

His face won't cooperate. Instead of the confident smile he wants to project, he's wearing a bullet-proof frown. Why isn't she just going along with it? It's what she's wanted since she met him, isn't it? Why is he still wearing that goddamn frown!? Why can't they both just get on with it!

Millie grabs him and hugs him, "You look like you're about to cry, are you okay?"

Just thinking about crying makes the tears flow. He sniffles as he cries softly. He can't even have sex when he makes up his mind to do it. All the trauma of the last few months comes flooding back as he cries in her arms. The whole time she just holds him and rocks him slowly. Touch feels so good. So nice. The feeling of her scales against his fur is comforting beyond words.

He's never been held like this by her. It's completely different from her predatory sexual ways. Thinking about all her kindness and how much she's tried to help him only makes him cry more. Damnit!

Eventually, his tears slow and he just leans into her comforting embrace. She starts petting the back of his head. She says, "There. There. It's okay."

A few minutes later, he lifts up his head and sniffles before saying, "I'm sorry."

"I cry sometimes, too. I actually cried a bit just now."

"Why?" he asks wrapping his arms around her.

"I care about you and seeing you like this reminded me of the time Victoria ran over someone's pet cat. She came over to have sex, but ended up just crying in my arms. She was devastated."

"I'd feel the same way, it must have been awful." He sniffles.

"It took her months to fully come to terms with it." She lets go of him and looks into his eyes. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

He tries to start talking about it, but tears up and has to stop.

"I'm going to get you something to eat, how about you try to tell me about it after breakfast?" She gets off the bed.

He nods and then lies on his back. His mind drifts as he stares at the ceiling not really thinking about anything. That strange numbness that comes after a lot of crying has a firm hold of him.

Millie comes back with an omelette and some toast. He sits up and uses the napkin she hands him to blow his nose before trying the omelette. It has too much onion and not enough ham, but he eats it anyway not wanting to criticize what she did out of kindness.

She sits on the bed next to him as he eats.

After he's eaten it all, when he tries to talk about last night, he doesn't tear up instantly. "I went into the club last night to check it out since I'll be working there and I bumped into a herm. She knew I knew her secret because she'd gotten hard watching that shark--"

"Oh, that shark's name is Denise and her stage name is Denise Danger. We call her double D. I'd been meaning to tell you about her. She started a couple weeks after you visited me at my club."

"She was really fun to watch," he says. "Anyway, the herm I mentioned bumped into me and her, you know, stuck me in the leg when I was trying to steady her. Then she ran out and I chased after her. She thought I was stalking her or wanted to hurt her and freaked out when I unintentionally cornered her. I was freaking out too and I tried to tell her that I was a herm and hadn't met another herm in person and really wanted to talk to her, but I couldn't even tell her that, so she just stood there terrified. Even the bouncer thought I was doing something wrong." He shrugs, "So, that's how I blew my chance of ever talking to her again and I hate myself for it."

Millie thinks for a moment. "If you see her again, why don't you just hand her a business card or a little note that says you're sorry about chasing her and that you just want to talk with her and that she can--"

"Would you respond to someone who chased you like that even if they gave you a nice note? Aren't first impressions the most important?" He sighs.

"Well, it might make more sense to her if that note tells her that you're a herm too and couldn't get yourself to tell her that time," Millie says.

He thinks about it for a moment. If he wrote it on a piece of paper, he wouldn't have to say it. He could work up the courage to write it down and then wait until he saw her again to hand it to her. The idea of telling her still terrifies him, but if it's the only way he can explain what his intentions actually were, it might be worth it. He frowns, but that still wouldn't work. "I think she'll run the moment I try to hand her something, this is hopeless."

"She's probably a fan of Denise, so you might see her again under better circumstances." Millie shrugs. "Even if you don't see her again, herms aren't quite as rare as you think they are. Lots of them are in hiding. The Seattle area has like four million people, I bet you there's herm support groups or meetups in the area where you could meet others like you."

"Huh, I've never thought about that." He hugs her not sure if any of it will work. At least he has things to try.

She hugs him back and then says, "So, I thought you were going to join me back there and I'm still confused about what happened. I know you were upset about this. Were you going to have sex to distract yourself from it or something?"

He shakes his head. "I'm not sure what I was thinking. I'm just sick of being so nervous about sex and I wanted to get it over with. I also thought I'd never be able to tell anyone about my p... pussy and I'd never have sex with anyone unless I did it with you."

"That's dark," she says.

"I'm so pathetic!" He holds his head in his paws.

"No, listen, lots of people that stay virgins until they're in college, or even older. They often feel like they have to take what they can get because no one wants them. That mindset is really destructive. I don't want you to have sex with me because I'm your only way to ever have sex, I want you to have sex with me because you think I'm sexy and you want to share your body with me."

He feels like he wants to cry again. "So, you don't want to have sex with me after all?"

"That's not what I meant." She trails her fingers over the fur on his chest. "I know you'll find someone even if you don't fuck me. Thinking of me as your only option sells you short. It operates from the idea that no one else will ever desire you. We already know that's not true. Besides Hanz and Victoria, there's a third of my staff that would have sex with you even if they knew you were a herm. Close-minded people don't do well at my club." She shrugs.

"A third?" He blinks.

"Yep, probably, well less if you count the ones in exclusive relationships, but my point still stands. The rest of them would turn you down because you're not their type or they're not attracted to herms. If I have anyone on my staff that actively dislikes herms for being herms, they're keeping that to themselves."

"That's hard to believe," he says.

She chuckles. "I know, just bear with me on this. The population in general tends to be uncomfortable with the idea of herms, mainly because they've never met one and none of their friends know one. But my club isn't the general population and I had a herm dancer years ago that made friends with nearly everyone at my club. She was dancing back when I was and we had a blast."

His ears perk up at the mention of a herm on Millie's staff. "Is she still around?"

Millie shakes her head and looks at the sheets. "No, she got an aggressive type of lymphoma and passed away a couple years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that." His ears droop as he puts a hand on her shoulder.

She puts her hand on top of his. "I still miss her sometimes, but I'm okay."

"She must have been awesome," he says. "I wish I could have met her."

"Oh, you two would have had a blast. She was legendarily nerdy."

"Are you calling me a nerd?" he asks with a slight grin.

Millie scoffs. "You have a Minecraft sticker on your laptop and a Triforce keychain hanging from one of the loops on your backpack. If you're not a nerd, you're choosing the wrong accessories."

He laughs.

She chuckles. "Anyway, my club is one of the safest and most accepting places you could be and everyone knows I would come after them if they let your secret out," she says. "I'm definitely not the only person who you could have sex with."

He nods. "I'm still having trouble believing that, but I don't feel as desperate now."

"Good, so, let's table the sex for now and come back to it if it's really what you want later on. I think we had way too much of an emotional rollercoaster to do anything right now, anyway."

"Okay."

"I must warn you that if we have sex and we both have fun, I might go back to my predatory ways and pounce on you from time to time." She boops his nose.

He laughs. "Roger that."

* * * * *

The first part of his school day goes well, but over lunch he thinks about what happened after he woke up. Does he actually want to have sex with Millie? The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes the answer is "yes." He's never felt safe being naked with someone like that and she's an amazing person. Plus, she probably wouldn't make his first time all that awkward.

She said if he wanted to have sex with her because he thought she was sexy and wanted to share his body with her, she'd want it. He gets a boner as he thinks about the way she bent over while she was wearing no panties the other night. Was she teasing him? Wait, does he actually like it when she teases him and tries to bring out his feral side?

The part of his mind that he's always battling calls him a pervert and chides him for his lack of control, but instead of feeling embarrassed, he feels frustrated. He growls softly as he tells it "no" for the first time in his life. No, this one time he's going to try doing what his body wants and needs. Carrying around this self-imposed sexual frustration is sucking the joy from his life.

And this morning, when he tried to finally get over all this and have sex for the first time, he ended up crying because of how nervous and frustrated he was. But, now that he thinks about it, he did really want her in that moment.

Yes, there were other things tangled in his mind, but deep down he wanted her for the exact reasons she called out. This one time he's going to try it. He has to see if sex with her is as amazing as he imagines it will be. He's going to shut up that part of himself and have fun. By the time he's done with his lunch, he feels more relaxed than he's felt in ages.

As he goes about the rest of his school day, Millie's plump pussy, firm breasts, toned ass, and long tail parade through his mind. He has to stay a bit after his last class to get his cock to go down. Was that dark voice in his mind right?

He tries to push the dark thoughts away, but they haunt him as he struggles to control himself on the drive home. His erection sprouts over and over as he thinks about feeling Millie ride his cock. She didn't seem intimidated at all by his size after he'd played with his item. How amazing would that feel?

He's losing control. He shouldn't think about this stuff. He's going to turn into a slut and fail out of school and ruin his whole life.

No! If he doesn't do this, he's going to think about fucking her over and over and get horny over and over and feel awful about himself. He's tried not being sexual, he's tried denying his own deep needs, and now he's losing his mind over it. He's split in two. One half is full of fear and the other full of lust. He can't go on like this. It's torture.

He growls at his mind as it tries to pull itself apart. Fuck this! Fuck his fear that he'll lose control, fuck never being able to give someone else pleasure, fuck the part of his mind that's telling him no one will ever truly accept him, and fuck the anxiety attacks that happen every time he thinks about this stuff.

After he parks, he walks swiftly to Millie's apartment hoping she's there. For the first time in forever, he's finally pushed his fear to the back of his mind. It's time to have fun! Hot, sexy-panting-pleasurable fun!

The door to Millie's apartment is locked when he gets there and his heart sinks. Of course she wouldn't be home the one day he finally got up his courage. He calls out, "Millie? Are you home?" hoping that she locked the door out of habit or something.

He sighs when he gets no response. Why did he think she'd be home? His cock is throbbing, he's wet, and his whole body is hot. How can he keep up this energy until she gets home? Would he survive doing that? Hours of being needy and hard and wet and--he shivers as he thinks about spending the whole time he's waiting for her getting himself hornier and hornier... Crap, he has homework due tomorrow and a reading assignment for his class. He's already done most of it, but if he spends all evening teasing himself, he won't have it ready.

With a frown, he goes to the fridge and makes himself a turkey and avocado sandwich. After that, he works through the reading assignment while his naughty bits ache to be used. He's not erect, but he keeps getting slightly hard from just changing his seating position. As he's opening his backpack to get his homework to finish, an unwanted thought creeps in saying that Millie doesn't actually want to have sex with him, that she was just teasing him because he's a herm and she secretly hates them.

Why does he think these sorts of things? It can't be true, but maybe she won't want him when she gets home no matter how needy he is. Maybe no one actually wants him and they say those things because they feel sorry for him. He starts feeling sick to his stomach.

Closing his eyes, he tells that heckling part of himself "no." Millie would have rode him in her office if he hadn't run out. If she just pitied him and had no interest, she wouldn't have worked so hard to tempt him.

He opens his pants and pulls down the hem of his boxers so he can touch his sheath. He fills his mind with memories of Millie; her plump breasts on either side of his cock while she sucked on his cock head, her pantiless back end taunting him during dishes, her feeling up his cock in the coffee shop, and her inviting him to come fuck her when he found her masturbating. Wishing once again that she was here, he strokes his cock as it emerges from his sheath. Moaning, he feels the head of his prick, his uninflated knot, and his balls thinking: "She wanted this and so did Victoria." Pre forms on the tip and he thrusts into his hands.

If Millie doesn't come home soon, she's going to miss out. He bites his lip, can he hold out until she gets back? There's only one way to find out.