Forever is a long time (Awelo, Part 3)
Everyone has secrets. Everyone has something they don't want someone else to know. Sometimes the secret is kept deliberately, and sometimes...it just never comes up.
Sitting alone in a strange room, a badger considered taking the bottle of pills in front of her because a little fox knew of her secret desire for him...and of the vast anger she carried. She knew she needed help, but it would mean telling someone else of her secrets. Was it worth it, when the pills could fix it all? Or was there a different solution to her problem?
Elsewhere, a little fox lay cradled in the arms of a wolf. They were getting close, but there was the matter of the wolf's guilt. The fox had forgiven the wolf, but the wolf hadn't forgiven himself. They could be happy now if he kept quiet...or he could tell, and risk everything.
The wolf too had a secret.
Screams split the night behind them as they ran.
"There they are! Get them!"
His breath wheezed in his throat and small flecks of blood stained the fur around his muzzle. He dared not look back. The path was badly lit. They had only the stars to navigate by.
A dozen small cuts oozed red, and sapped his muscles of strength, but he kept going. If they were caught now, they'd be dragged back to the altar.
The people had gone mad.
He knew why. There was no food. Hundreds and thousands of furs were crammed into the cities, and the gods were greedy. They demanded blood in return for good harvests. It was the King who had to speak to the gods...but it seemed that either the King didn't do his job, or the gods were no longer listening. In desperation, the people offered their most powerful symbols in sacrifice.
He glanced at the frightened young jaguar beside him, and made a choice:
Not while I'm around, they won't...
Choices.
There was always a choice. And every choice had consequences.
Always.
She walked the streets alone, like she always did. Unlike most of the furs who were out at this hour, her path was not random or rambling. Her alert eyes caught every movement, and her ears caught every sound. Nothing escaped her vigilance. Dark shadows retreated down narrow alleys, tails tucked as she strode past. There were few furs who would dare cross her path.
She spotted the sign of the Deathrazors: an inverted triangle with two diagonal slashes running through it. The Razors was a new gang who moved into the territory left clear by the Hellblazers. The Blazers had made the mistake of crossing one of her kind, and paid the price. Now she was here to educate the new boys.
She smiled.
Right on time...
She ducked and pivoted on one leg as the other extended to sweep the feet out from under her first assailant. Before he even hit the ground, she leapt and smashed feet-first into the chest of another. Her fist flashed out and stopped a third dead in his tracks.
Three male bodies lay groaning on the ground as the fourth approached. He clapped his paws as he approached. It wasn't quite dark enough to conceal his red slacks and baggy green jacket.
She paused and waited for him to speak.
"You would be Dominica. I've heard about you." He purred, revealing himself as a feline of one kind or another.
"One does have a certain modest reputation." She inclined her head.
"I've also heard that you're the...big boss around here. Nothing goes on without your knowing about it. Name your price."
The one addressed as Dominica inclined her head in a noncommittal fashion.
"No price. Operate as you please, as long as you stay clear of those under my protection. I hear of you attacking them, or robbing them, it will be my first in your face. I can hit real hard."
The swadowy cat paused as he considered her words.
"That...doesn't sound so bad to me. I like roughhousing."
"Play hardball if you wish. I warn you but once. Stay clear of me and mine, or you can go the route of your predecessors here. Ask around. I'm sure the scavengers can show you where the bones are buried."
The cat snorted. "They? They'll believe any old superstitious nonsense. It's going to take more than just their word to convince me...Dominica."
She smiled.
It chilled the bones of the cat she spoke with. For a moment, she seemed to go still.
Pain exploded in every part of his body. He screamed as all at once, every muscle in his body seized and cramped up. His bones took fire and claws seemed to rip into him from every angle. His heart slammed in his chest as his jaw clamped shut. The scream ceased as his throat closed up. Terror gripped him as eyes rolled back in his head. He didn't have s shred of control over his body...
She stepped closer as he toppled over. With his throat muscles clenched, he couldn't scream, but his writhing was inspired as his muscles spasmed. She knelt beside him and touched his cheek. Instantly, the pain stopped, and he gasped for breath.
"Believe them. Or if not them...remember this night and believe me. If you cross me or mine even once...pain will be just the beginning."
She stood, and looked down at him for a moment longer as he tried in vain to convince his body to move.
"We are taking back this town. Play by our rules, or...suffer the consequences. The choice is yours."
She turned and walked away.
He really ought to have thought this through a bit more...
Darian murred softly and stretched his lithe body out. He was still tingling all over...
It was so good to just lay back and relax. Beside him, Jennan was still sleeping, curled up on his side.
This was a problem.
Last night, his lack of clothes hadn't presented any particular problem. Jennan had shed his as well, and they'd cuddled on the sofa for most of the night, just talking. They'd gone to bed a long way past midnight, and though nothing sexual happened, they'd each spent a bit of time just touching and exploring each other, reassuring each other that even though sex didn't happen, they still desired each other like that.
Now though...he needed to get dressed...and Jennan had nothing that fitted. Everything in the big wolf's wardrobe hung on the fox like an empty sack. It was not flattering, to say the least.
"Jennan..."
He poked the big wolf in the ribs.
"Mmfff...go 'way..."
He poked harder, giggling softly to himself. It figured Jennan wouldn't be a morning person.
"Jennan!"
Jennan turned around and pulled the blankets over his head.
Darian sighed and grinned in amused frustration. The day was wearing on, and as delicious as it was to sleep with Jennan...they both had stuff to do.
"Jennan! Wake up!" He tugged on the blankets, trying to jerk them off the sleeping wolf.
"Mrfgl..." was the only response that came from under the blankets.
Darian sighed. "You're no fun in the mornings. Do you know that?"
Jennan didn't answer.
The little fox shook his head, then grinned as inspiration struck. Instead of trying to wrestle the blankets off Jennan, or poking and prodding him further, he wriggled down to the foot of the bed and crawled under the blankets. Jennan had his back to him, and his rump provided the little fox with the perfect target for his attentions. The fur was soft and silky, and his tail wasn't much of an obstacle. Gently, he pulled Jennan's tail out of the way. He grinned mischievously and slowly slid a finger between the tight cheeks up toward his taihole.
The reaction was immediate. With a startled yelp, Jennan jerked away and prompty fell out of bed. He made a dull thump as he hit the floor.
"What the fuck...?"
He scrambled upright, his paw gingerly touching his rump, looking completely confused.
Darian collapsed, howling with laughter. He kept one eye on the wolf, admiring his body, and the bulging sheath. Man, he was hot...
"Welcome to the land of the waking, sleeping beauty." He stuck his tongue out at Jennan. "Are you always this difficult to wake?"
"Mmm...dunno..." Jennan mumbled, still looking over his shoulder at his rump, then back to the fox he'd spent the night with. "Why did you do that?"
Darian shrugged. "I had to wake you somehow. Poking didn't help. Calling didn't even make your ears twitch. I need some clothes, Jen. I can't exactly go outside in the nuddy..."
"Oh...Right...I forgot about that. Um...do you have your key, foxa? I'll...ah...go and get you something..." For some reason the wolf was blushing, and Darian giggled, his heart warming even more toward the big guy.
Unfortunately, he didn't have the key. It was in his jeans' pocket, and he'd left those behind last night when he fled from Dot.
He shook his head and Jennan nodded.
"I'll think of something. Catch a shower foxa. I'll be back soon."
"Jen!"
Jennan blinked and paused. "Yeah?"
"Clothes?" He pointed at Jennan's sheath where the red tip of his wolfhood peeked out.
"Oh. Right. Thanks." He dressed quickly in whatever was lying on the floor before going.
Darian collapsed back on the bed and laughed. His heart bubbled with joy and amusement...the first time in years that he'd felt truly happy.
He wondered if Jennan was always this confused in the morning. Well, at least he knew how to wake him now. Something sexual...and a big cup of coffee. He sighed happily and grinned, then jumped out of bed and quickly switched on the kettle. He rummaged around in the tiny kitchen until he found the coffee - real coffee that Jennan had packed in individual, reusable cotton baggies. With sugar. Just place in a cup of boiling water and let it steep like tea.
Darian giggled. Maybe he'd get Jen a proper coffee maker one day...
Once the coffee was made, he carried the two cups to the bed and placed them on the side table before he climbed back in. He'd shower later. Maybe he could get Jennan to shower with him. That would be fun. Then he could touch him all over and maybe...maybe Jennan would take him...
What could be taking him so long with the clothes...?
Quickly, he dressed himself in one of Jen's shirts and a pair of his boxers, and went out to see what was happening.
Jennan wasn't easily embarrassed. He'd lived on the streets for too long to be bothered by much...and yet here he was, blushing like a puppy over a playful, nude fox.
Gods, he was pretty...and deeply familiar. Could it be possible...?
He shoved the thought aside, aware that his mind wasn't fully alert yet. He never woke up properly until after coffee and a shower.
He padded down the stairs easily, yawning as he went, and not caring who saw him. What had happened had happened. He'd taken the fox to his room, and slept with him. It had been wonderful. For the first time since that terrible night in Chichén Itzá, he knew that he was doing the right thing. He felt better with the fox than he ever had with Iara, or anyone else for that matter.
She'd been right. It was the right thing to do. She had needed to find herself, and...he'd needed the time to realise that she wasn't the right one for him.
She'd made her choice to leave.
He reached the fox's apartment and paused. Chances were it was unlocked still. When a robber or rapist left, they didn't bother to lock the door behind them. He tried the doorknob, and nodded as it opened. Now he'd know...
A crowbar whooshed down, missing his nuzzle by inches. Before the black shadow inside could recover to try again, Jennan was through the door. He smashed his body into the badger and sent her flying back. The crowbar banged to the floor. Jennan snarled and kicked it away. The badger whimpered where she lay on the floor, clutching her left arm. Grimly, he closed the door behind him.
Another possibility was that the rapist was still there...waiting to finish the job...or clean up the evidence...Jennan growled his fangs bared.
"I knew you'd be here. I knew you wouldn't just let it go and apologise to him."
The badger spat at him from where she lay, anger blazing in her eyes. And fear. That too.
"You're no angel yourself, Jennan." She snarled.
Well, that was certainly true. Not that it mattered. He smiled. Time for the truth...
"No. I'm not. I have the blood of many on my paws. I've slain warriors, and fighters, crooks and bullies, murderers and rapists. I've killed good furs for making evil choices. My paws are far from clean. You see, Dorothy...rape is one thing. Murder is another. That blow was meant for Darian. Sadly for you...I saw it coming. That's why I took him home with me last night."
Okay, so that wasn't the whole truth...but she didn't need to know that.
"You're right that I'm no angel. I've done terrible things. Now imagine what I'll do to you, for raping and then plotting the murder of one under my protection."
Dot's jaw dropped and naked fear seeped into her eyes as she realised that there was no negotiating with Jennan. The wolf's eyes showed no trace of emotion, or mercy. He had the look of one who was fully capable of anything. He didn't care what he broke, or what damage he left. He wasn't after deterrence or revenge. He was after punishment. Punishment to fit the crime.
She squealed in fright as he bore down on her, implacable as death itself, and as merciless. She scrambled away, too frightened to scream.
"Is this what my Darian was doing? Crawling away, weeping with fear and horror as you kept coming, meaning to take whatever you wanted, no matter the cost to him? He trusted you. He loved you, and you violated him. Even as you were raping him, he still believed somewhere inside that you were just...playing. It wasn't until you hit him that he knew you really meant to hurt him."
Jennan seized her ankle and hauled her closer, ignoring her kicks and struggles. Once she was in reach, he grabbed the front of her blouse and yanked her up violently until they were nose to nose.
"How does it feel, knowing that you're powerless? I could do anything to you that I wanted, and you couldn't stop it. I could slam my meat into you and all you could do was cry and beg for me to stop."
He jerked his arm sideways and let go. Dot flew across the room and smashed head-first into a wall. There was a loud crack as her head connected. It was a hard blow, but not enough to break her skull. She collapsed and lay on the floor, groaning. Blood flowed freely from her nose and muzzle, and several teeth were missing.
Jennan stepped over her and pulled back her head by the ear.
"Want me to stop?" he whispered.
The badger groaned and nodded.
Jennan slammed her head into the floor and ground his clawed walking-paws into her back, pressing down on her kidneys.
She squealed and struggled until he let up.
"No," he growled and kicked her in the ribs.
"Uhhhnn..." she gasped and twisted on the floor, curling up around her belly.
"How much did my foxie beg, huh? How many times did he say no, and begged you not to do it? How much mercy did you show him, huh?"
She muttered something between clenched teeth as she gasped, still trying to get her breath back.
"I didn't hear that. Say again." He prodded her with one clawed toe, drawing blood from her belly.
"I said...you're a...nice one...to speak. It was you...you who...smashed him...broke him...It was you, Jennan...Why...look so...surprised...huh? You didn't...recognise him? How...sad..." She spat blood and laughed weakly as Jennan's ears went flat against his skull.
"He never told you? Bad...bad...foxie...He...wanted to kill you...you know? That day when you...fucked him? How sweetly you...kissed him...and held him...you who broke his face...and put him in...surgery...and therapy. And yet here...you are...judging me...how ironic...How...laughable..."
"No...no..."
She laughed again, and pushed herself weakly up, aware that she had scored bigtime, and now had the advantage.
"Yes...yes...the big protector wolf...fucking his own victim...oh, how...cute...Tell me...how tight is his...tailhole? How big is his dick? He wouldn't...get it up for me, the bitch. But for you...oh yes...sick, sick little fox..."
"Shut up! Shut up!"
"Why? Or you'll...hit me again...until I stop? Kill me for hurting him...if you wish...but always remember...you hurt him first!"
His fingers twitched, threatening to bunch into fists. He wanted to smash the badger and break her into a million tiny pieces of quivering, bloody flesh...
"Jennan! No!"
Darian...oh gods, foxa...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...
Darian stood wide-eyed by the door, horrified by what he saw.
Jennan saw his fear...and it broke his heart.
He turned and fled out the door, out the building and was gone.
Before Darian could stop him, the wolf was gone.
"Jennan!" He yelled after the retreating wolf.
On the floor, Dot gurgled with laugher.
"He loves you...fozzie...Look how....hurt he is...at the thought of hurting you..."
Darian blinked, torn. Jennan...
I have to fix this...but I have to...do this first...
He turned his attention to Dot, and examined her carefully. Yesterday, he'd been terrified of her, and had cried all over Jennan for fear of seeing her again. Now...?
Now there was nothing. There were no feelings at all. It was as if she'd never meant anything to him at all.
He looked down at her.
"What...are you looking at?"
Darian shook his head in wonder as his mind seemed to open up.
It was so simple. How had he never seen the truth?
"Nothing. I just came here to tell you...I saw what you tried to do. I know that you meant to kill me. Unfortunately for you, I'm his territory now. I'm his. He will protect me. Take a good look, Dot. This is as close as you'll ever be to me again. I may not have your or his physical strength, but this is the last time I will ever be afraid of anyone. This is the last time I'll lay back and let myself be beaten. I ran twice. I ran from Jennan, and I ran from you. Only...I never needed to fear Jennan. He wasn't what I thought. He was never a threat, and if I hadn't been so afraid, I would have known that. He's nothing like you. He beat me that day because he needed to belong but he realised his mistake. He's not vicious. The wounds he gave you...are the wounds you gave me, made flesh, because that is all you understand. Revenge is not admirable...but it is deserved in your case. Mine...was just bad luck. Nothing more. He's not like you. And I'm not afraid of you anymore. Nor of him. He...would never hurt me. But he will hurt you, if you hurt me. And make no mistake Dot...if you ever hurt him because of what he did today, I will come back, and I will end you. Jennan will give you what you deserve, and no more, but I'll just kill you. I'm going out now to find him, and when I return, you will be gone." He paused. "But...maybe I should get properly dressed first."
He walked into his room and got dressed.
"You. Gone when I get back." He said when he returned, dressed in old, well-worn clothes suitable for hard wearing.
He strode out the door, ears pricked and tail held high.
Iara found him deep inside one of the untamed parks near the heart of the city as the sun was setting. Life pulsed all round them in wild abandon, and green growth abounded.
It reminded her of home, of Chichén Itzá. That had been a city in the jungle, not a jungle in the city..but still, it was close enough. It was one of her favourite places to come, and knew that it would be one of his too. After all, they shared the same memory...
"There's a little fox out there wandering around looking for you."
Jennan said nothing. The badger's words echoed in his head, over and over.
Why...look so...surprised...huh? You didn't...recognise him? Yes...the big protector wolf...fucking his own victim... And yet here...you are...judging me...how ironic...
"I put Sela on him. She'll keep him out of trouble."
Jennan nodded.
They sat like that for a while until Iara broke the silence.
"This isn't like you, Jennan. You've killed, robbed and caused pain before. Why beat yourself up over one little fox? I saw what you did to that badger. That was nice work, by the way. She had it coming."
He looked up at her, looking as lost as the day she'd told him she was leaving.
"It's not the same, Yara. The badger had it coming. She messed with one under my protection. We protect those who come to us. We extract a price from those who cross us. That's what we do, our kind. But that's not what I did. I beat..." he shuddered, "...Darian up for no good reason. He didn't deserve it."
Iara nodded.
"No. He didn't. But Jensie...it's done. It's over. And you know what? He's right there, looking for you at this very moment. You've wanted to face the one you beat for so long. So go face him. I've never known you to run from anything. You never flinched back from danger, or death. You took spears and knives for me, and died for me. I've never known anyone so fearless. Why fear to look into the eye of the one you wronged?"
For a moment, Jennan looked anguished.
"You don't understand, Yara..."
"Jensie... I know you have feelings for him...but when all is said and done, he isn't one of us. He isn't Awelo. He cannot share forever with you.
"You are wrong..."
"Jens..."
"I wasn't either!"
Iara clamped her muzzle shut. It was true. Jennan hadn't been Awelo, but had become so. Any soul could become so...
"When the corn failed to grow, and the rains didn't come, our people started to sacrifice the Jaguar. I don't need to remind you of that, Iara. I snatched you from the altar...my dearest friend who happened to be Jaguar-born. How was I to know you couldn't die? I snatched you and took you away. I was the one who took the killing blow that saved your life. And yet here I still am. How many times have we found each other, Iara? How many times in all the years since the fall of the Maya? Souls don't die, and there's no difference between his soul and mine, just like there was none between yours and mine. Don't tell me I can't share forever with one not Awelo. He may not remember...but I do."
Iara's jaw dropped. "...my god..."
"I didn't realise it at first. I didn't know why I should feel so connected to him. I felt it the first time we were together."
"Darwe..."
"Yes."
"Jens..."
"I'm right, Iara. It is him. Now do you understand what I did?"
"...he's always followed you around like a little puppy..."
"...while I ran after you."
Iara closed her eyes. Gods, gods...
"I swore I would always protect you, Iara. But it was never you who needed me. It was him. It was never you who loved me with that steady flame that never burned out. It was him. And...it took me a long time to realise it...but I love him too. And then I beat him up. I didn't know who he was then...but that doesn't matter. I hurt the one I love. There can be no forgiveness for that..."
"Jen...Jen...what would you do? Screw the both of you up for life out of guilt? Lay aside for a moment who he is. Darian is just someone you love. Sure. Okay. You hurt him. But does it look to you like it matters to him? He's responded to you, to the connection you share, and threw himself in your arms first chance he got. And you caught him. You love him. He loves you. Are you going to throw him to the priests because you feel guilty? What would that accomplish? Happiness? No! Gods, Jennan. Let it go. You had it in you to let me go. Let go of your guilt and just be happy with your foxie. That's what you want. That's what he wants. Hell, if you're right, that's all he's ever wanted. Are you seriously going to deny the both of you the love and relationship you've always wanted...over something that's done and dusted? Gods, Jen. Don't be an idiot."
Jennan got up and walked away.
Iara was right, or course. He knew that even as he walked away from her. Just because she was right didn't mean she wasn't a pain in the ass.
She was a fine one to talk about love and relationship, she who ran away from every single one she had. Except him. Theirs had lasted over six hundred years, spread over he didn't know how many lifetimes. They'd seen the fall of the Maya and the rise of the Anglics. After the Maya, there was the Navajo, the Cherokee, the Apache...every civilisation they'd ever called their own.
The Anglics with their idea of One God who placed His furries over everything. They had no respect for the land, for the people, or their gods.
Katchinas. Awelo. Guardians and protectors of the land and the people. They were not gods. They were not even spirits. They were simply...evolved souls. The Anglics called them Guardian Angels. Every culture had a word for them, and yet no one truly understood their nature. They were not spirits 'out there somewhere'. They were right here. They had powers, right enough, but not the power to change furs, or alter minds.
The most powerful of them were the Tricksters. Like Coyote, whom the Navajo still believed in. How the Anglics had blinded their people to look for the gods where the gods were not. That made the Anglics truly godless.
Creature of myth and legend, Jennan made his way back to his little student's apartment.
Born to his choice of parents, in his choice of body, he'd at last come to this place in search of Darwe. Odd that Darwe should be the one to find him. They'd always been drawn to each other. Odd that this time, their attraction should take such a dark turn. It's changed them both...and maybe that was the point. Maybe it had been necessary.
He didn't know. He didn't care. He'd wasted six-hundred years hunting one who couldn't be caught while overlooking the one he truly wanted.
"Well, well. Look who we have here."
Jennan froze.
"It's the undercover fag."
"Spies on us in the shower and the locker room."
"Makes fools of us, playing sports like he's a real guy."
He looked around. Every face was familiar. Rocco the German Shepherd, carrying a baseball bat. Igor the Siberian Tiger, with a pair of nunchaku. Benito, the Spanish Lynx who habiatually used only his fists.
"Shoulda known, way the chicks look at him. They like homos. What I wonder if how he fucked all them chicks, if it wouldn't rise."
"Yeah. Tell us Jennan. How did you manage to do it? You probably imagined our cocks up your ass."
Jennan smiled crossed is arms over his chest as he leaned back against a wall. He'd been walking down the 30th street barrens...a rough area where most of his buddies lived.
"Nah. Your little pinpricks couldn't even begin to satisfy me. Now back away, or it just might be mine up yours."
Rocco laughed harshly.
"Hear that, boys? He admits it."
"Sure I do." Jennan drawled and bared his fangs. "Well, who wants to come first, mmm? I'm just a queer. It should be easy for you to take me. After all...I only beat you, Rocco, at wrestling last week. And you, Benito, I pinned after just ten minutes. Feel free to try me when I'm not just playing."
The three looked at each other nervously. Jennan had never been an easy mark, and they'd all teased him about holding back. They knew he did. If they did attack, at least two of them would be hurt bad.
"Well? I'm waiting."
Rocco's eyes hardened.
"C'mon guys. Let's get him."
Before they could decide, Jennan attacked. He grabbed hold of Rocco's baseball bat and jerked hard on it. Thinking that Jennan was trying to disarm him, Rocco tensed up and jerked back. Jennan swung his weight sideways, then locked himself in place let go. Thrown off balance, Rocco slammed into the wall and howled. The bat clattered to the ground. Jennan snapped it up and held it ready. Rocco got slowly to his paws, bleeding from a scratched shoulder, eyes burning.
Jennan was smiling, as if he didn't have a care in the world.
"Bit slow there, Rocco. You should have seen that one coming. Well, now the odds are a bit more even, I'd say. Come on. Let's play."
Rocco glowered at him, then sprang forward. Jennan nimbly danced out of his way and rapped him neatly on the ass the bat, then turned and rammed his fist into Igor's stomach. The tiger doubled over, gasping.
Jennan grabbed the nunchaku, and promptly snapped them in two. He threw the pieces on the ground, and returned to his nonchalant pose.
"Bad move, Jennan." Benito said in his quiet way. "You should have taken us out when you had the chance. Come us, guys. Stop playing. He can't fight all three of us at once."
Six years of friendship...and it all come down to this. The only fact that mattered to them was who he slept with.
Still they hesitated. They knew Jennan's skill and strength...but perhaps they also wanted him to try and talk them out of it.
Well, that wasn't going to happen. It wasn't their way. Furs made their choices and lived with the consequences. That's all there was too it. These guys wanted a fight. Nothing else would satisfy them.
Still, a note of sadness crept into his voice when next he spoke.
"Three of you at once, or one at a time...it makes no difference to me. Do what you came here to do...if you can."
The tiger got up, and the three thugs spread out, giving Jennan no room to retreat or move himself to a more favourable position. Rocco smirked. Once they were all in position, Rocco nodded and all three of them jumped forward at once, two from the front, one from behind.
Benito was the fist fighter in the group. His fighting style was smooth and flowing, his body constantly in motion. It was hard to focus on him. Rocco relied on brute strength. His fist lashed out, but Jennan expected the move. He ducked under the blow and rammed his elbow into the Shepherd's belly. Rocco staggered back, but Igor was ready, and didn't miss. His fist landed solidly on the side of Jennan's ribs. Pain lanced through him...but it was nothing compared to a sword cut to the ribs. He ignored the pain and focussed on Benito. The lynx was his most serious opponent.
Benito rushed in, focussed on his target. He was not holding back, and blows started to rain in on Jennan. He blocked and answered with with brute strength rather than finesse. He put his shoulder behind his blows and hit back hard, but Benito was skilled too. The lynx moved quickly out of the way, then back in to deliver a few fast jabs to Jennan's ribs and face. Igor was not still either and kept hammering at Jennan's unprotected back.
With two of them working on him, his resources were running out. Fast. Jennan blocked and kicked, punching hard when he got the change, and most of his blows hit home, causing damage. In close quarters, the bat was useless, but he dared not let go of it. If Rocco got hold of it, he would use it. He kept his fist clenched on the handle, using it to stab into unprotected parts of the bodies he could reach.
His whole body ached, and he could feel his face puffing up. He blocked a blow from Benito and slammed his fist solidly into the lynx's shoulder when Rocco rejoined the fray. With a scream, the big dog ran in and tackled.
Caught completely off guard, Jennan fell to the ground. He tried to roll, to get to his paws again, bug Rocco dragged him back. A kick connected to his ribs and a blow from the tiger's paw to the side of his head dazed him.
"No! Jennan!"
Oh gods...Darian...!
Jennan called on whatever resources he had left to summon his power, but the bat hit hard into his ribs before he could unleash it. The world hazed and fuzzed around the edges as pain exploded. He heard his ribs snap...Blows rained down on his chest and face. He tried weakly to fend them off, but he had nothing left.
"Rocco! Stop! You're killing him!"
"Get that fox! Get him!"
"Jennan! Jennan!"
The world was moving beyond his reach now.
Oh well...I've died before. Wonder...what I'll come back to...Darian...Darwe...love...I'm sorry...
Someone was screaming with rage. He felt it...felt it in his soul. His defender had come.
There was a flash of blue light, and more screams as Darian flew into the fray. His little fists moved like the wind, but carried the strength of an ox. Bones snapped. There were screams for mercy...but an Awelo awakened to the need of a lover was an unstoppable force.
Jennan smiled. So. His little Darwe had found the courage he needed to use what strength he had in selfless defence.
It got quiet...except or the terrified mewling of a cat and the savage growling of a canine.
Running. The cat was running away. A warm lump of soft fur knelt beside him.
"Jennan? Jennan? Please...answer me. Please...Jennan?"
It took supreme effort to speak through his broken muzzle. Blood bubbled in his throat.
"'m...here..."
"Jennan..."
"You...did good...foxa..."
"No...Jennan...stay with me. Stay with me Jen!"
"Bloody...ar'gant...fool. Thought I...haddem...covered..."
"You never were one to take the easy way. Idiot."
Jennan heard the desperate humour in Darwe's voice, and knew that the damage to his body was severe.
"Heh...you...would know better...than anyone..."
"...Jennan..."
"Loved you, foxa...always loved you..."
"...Jennan...I know...I always knew...Jennan, please...
"...'m sorry, foxa..."
"It's alright...it's okay...Jennan? Jennan!"
Tears streamed from the fox's eyes as he screamed at the uncaring sky.
Dawn over the city was red as blood. Dust and smoke smeared the light in red and black streaks across the sky. It looked like a freshly scabbed over wound.
_How appropriate..._the little fox thought. He stood on the balcony of his tiny room, looking down as the early risers bustled past.
Look at them, he thought. They don't even know that a wonderful fur had passed on...They wouldn't care, even if they did.
Locked in their own little lives, focussed on their own hopes and dreams, they had little sympathy or time to spare over the grief of a little fox that had lost everything he held dear.
No one would mourn him but me...
He cast his thoughts back to their day together.
"Where where you last night?
"With Iara. She got it in her mind to try and save some of the oldest pieces. She said it wasn't right that they be destroyed and sacrificed to the gods. It's pretty silly to sacrifice an image of the gods to the gods...seeing that it already belongs to them."
"Jennan! That's blaspheme!"
The big wolf shrugged.
"She's got a point, foxa. Would you be happy if I sacrificed your red robe to you?"
Darwe bridled in theological discontent. He couldn't dispute Jennan's logic.
"That's not the point," he muttered. , and crossed his arms across his thin chest. Unaware of how cute it made him look, he missed the softening of the big wolf's face, and the quick flash of affection in his eyes.
"Come with us, foxa. You may not believe it, but they will start sacrificing furs soon. I can't let Iara go alone. Please. Come with us. I'd...really like for you to come."
Darwe hesitated. He'd always been close to Jennan, to Iara's everlasting annoyance. She wanted him all to herself, and Darwe was in her way. Through all the years of growing up together, on the streets, and later in the army, Jennan had always been there, but he'd never expressed a particular desire for Darwe's company. Iara always came first.
"The gods will get you. Or the priests will."
"Fuck them."
"Jennan!"
Jennan grinned and hugged his little companion close. Darwe nestled against him and closed his eyes.
"I don't want you to die..." he whispered against Jennan's chest.
"I'm not going to die, foxa. I'm just going to help Iara save the temple stuff. Think about it, foxa. I'll come back for you tonight if you don't want to go with us now. Please?"
The fox nodded, heartbroken.
Jennan kissed the top of his head and left.
The next time Darwe saw him, the wolf was being dragged into the city for dishonourable burial...
He should have died with his loved one instead of being a coward. Better to have died living his love for Jennan, even if he could never express it, than to live with the words unspoken.
I love you, Jennan...
"I love you, Jennan..."
Memories he never knew he had flooded into his mind as his soul quickened. The desire to protect Jennan and keep him safe crashed together with fearless strength and unconquerable will to force him into growth.
So many lifetimes...
From the birth of his soul into self-awareness, he'd barely spent any time at all without the big wolf beside him. Somehow, their souls always found each other, even though that bond had never been acknowledged.
He never remembered...but Jennan always did. At some point in their association through all the lifetimes, Jennan would recognise him, and they'd resume that closeness of theirs...until Iara went off, and Jennan followed. Lifetime upon lifetime.
"I'm so sorry, Darwe..."
Darian looked up from where he sat next to Jennan's bed at the general hospital.
Iara stood there, simply dressed as usual, and oozing sexiness. For once, the vivacious force of her personality was dampened and she seemed genuinely contrite.
"Can I come in?"
Darian nodded and motioned for her to enter. He turned his attention back to the bandaged and wrapped body over which beeping monitors fussed continuously.
"How is he?" she asked as she entered. She sat down on one of the stools.
"He's holding his own..."
She nodded.
They sat in silence for a while. Neither knew what to say. They'd never met...as equals. Finally, Iara spoke up, difficult as it would be."
"I'm sorry, Darwe. More sorry than I can ever say. All those centuries you spent loving him...I should have respected you...and him. It's just...each time we moved on to a new life, you were always there again, and he'd always instantly take to you once more. I watched him drift further and further away from me with each life, and I blamed you for it. I always imagined that Jen and I would bond once I got myself sorted out...but that was never going to happen. I know that now. I...used his loyalty to make him follow me everywhere...sometimes just to prove I had that power. I stood between you each and every time, because...you would never remember, and I was jealous that he'd choose you over me almost every time. Each time I left and he followed, he only followed if you came with. You never refused. And so it went on and on, with me keeping him from seeing the truth...for my own selfish reasons."
She glanced at Darian.
"I'm sorry, Dar. I'm so sorry...I should have accepted your presence in his life, and taken his friendship instead of trying to force something that could never be. You two...have loved each other for as long as you've been self-aware souls, and I should have respected that. I...Darwe...take care of him. Look after him. He's yours to care for and protect now...just as you are his. I...I..."
She shook her head and got up.
"Stop!"
Darian's voice snapped like a whip. He seized her paw in his and whirled her around. Rage burned in his eyes.
Iara took an involuntary step back, eyes wide. In all these centuries, she'd never seen the fox this angry...
"Get over yourself." He grated from between clenched teeth. What do you think you're doing? Making the grand sacrifice so your friend can be happy, is that it? Give up his friendship so I can have his love? How noble of you. Leaving again."
Shocked, Iara could only stare at him.
The fox continued, his tone scathing.
"So you can say 'look what I have done. See how good I am.' Like we'll then owe you something. If you want to apologise on that basis, you can just fuck off right now, and take you apology with you. I'm not going to play the one-up game with you. We're not competing, and Jennan is not the prize. He's_mine_. My lover. My mate. But I don't control him. I never have and never will. He's free to have whatever friends he choose. You are his friend too. You're important to him. What, you'd throw that away just because you're not his number one? How selfish can you get? I'm through playing games, Iara. Stay, or go, it makes no difference to me. But it does make a difference to him. For once in your life, do something for him. Don't leave. You always ran away, when you didn't need to. Accept that his life is not yours to control, and go live your own. But remember this: you need not lose him. His love is and always will be mine alone, but his friendship is boundless. And if something is important to him, I'll join him in it. I've spent several lifetimes doing that, without even being mated to him. Make no mistake, Iara. Things are going to change, but it need not be like this. Let him go, Iara."
Much more gently, he added:
"You're welcome in our lives. Forever is a long time to spend alone..."
She nodded...and left the room.
Darian sighed and sank back onto the stool.
"Do you think she will listen?"
"That's hard to say, foxa. She's always been stubborn and independent. It's not going to be easy for her to admit she lost, or to accept change. You have no idea how hard it was for her to adapt to the modern world...hehe...what am I saying? You know exactly how hard it was for her. Oh...it's so good to have you remember everything..."
Darian...Darwe...giggled softly and lay his head gently on Jennan's bandaged chest. Jennan smiled and fondled his foxie's ears lovingly.
Darian murred and smiled, completely happy.
"I've waited six-hundred years for you to do that..."
Jennan chuckled and coughed. He still occasionally hacked up a clot of blood from the punctured lung he suffered. The doctors said once the last surgery was done, he wouldn't look the same anymore...
"I'll keep going it for the next six-hundred years then, love."
"Love..."
Jennan nodded. It was difficult, with all the bandages on his face and neck, but he did it.
"Yes. Dar...I should have done this a long time ago. Bond with me, love. I want to spend forever with you. We'll live this life in this place...doing what Awelo do...and when we're old and worn out, we'll find a nice little place in the mountains, and shed our flesh...free to wander until we return for the next round...together. Always."
Darian shivered as his eyes watered. He grinned through his tears and caresses Jennan's bandaged cheek.
"Like we've done before..."
"No, my love. This time...it'll be our adventures, our lives. We'll make our own path."
"Forever."
You collar you tie me (Your soft sheath)
Every time I think of you
Every time your eyes meet mine
You collar you tie me
I belong to you
And baby, you belong to me
From the tip of your nose...to your soft sheath
Black is the collar and silver the disk
Inscribed is your name and I wear it proudly
A sign of devotion, a sign of my love
For all the world to see, proclaimed loudly
It's thoughts of you that keep me up at night
Pure pleasure to think of how our lives will be
Better yet to think of how the nights will go
Slow or fast, gentle or wild, paws on me!
Every time I think of you
Every time your eyes meet mine
You collar you tie me
I belong to you
And baby, you belong to me
From the tip of your nose...to your soft sheath
Or maybe just to stare into your eyes
Held close for comfort, warm in your sweet embrace
A loving kiss to share, talk of this and that
And anything else you would care to name
Round and round the big wheel spins, round and round
We'll be alright you and I, we'll be fine
So hold on real tight, you are safe in my arms
We'll greet the dawn, greet the moon, you and I
Every time I think of you
Every time your eyes meet mine
You collar you tie me
I belong to you
And baby, you belong to me
From the tip of your nose...to your soft sheath
By Darwe (aka Darian)
When it comes to relationships...some people just seem to take instantly to each other, like they've known each other forever. It doesn't matter that they know nothing about each other. They just seem to KNOW. I should know. It happened to me. With this story, I asked myself a simple question: What if it was true, and they really DID know each other forever? From that point forward, the story practically told itself. :-p
Apologies to those readers of mine who find this kind of thing unappealing. Me being a hopeless romantic (with a bitter twist of dark reality thrown in) - I found the concept irresistable as the promise for a love story. And here it is. :-)
I hope you enjoy it. :-)