Deep Learning
As an author, I've learned to celebrate my failures in addition to my successes. This was a failure.
I'm not entirely sure where it went wrong, but it just doesn't reach for the same character depth and growth that my other stories have.
They can't all be winners!
Lean to the front and I won't lose my handhold. Right, then let my knees go limp for a moment as the rail car bucked. I was so familiar with the journey that I could anticipate every bump before it happened. Myself and fourteen other passengers all did our best not to look at each other. It was already awkward enough to be here with them. It was a ride of shame I sort of wish didn't have to be shared, but that's the way it was.
I'd tried to avoid it tonight. I swear I had. There'd been dinner, then a date. She'd been cute, but she just wasn't my type. Hell, I'm not sure she was anyone's type, at least not yet. She'd been young, and I'd bet my tail that she'd grown up in a religious household. If I'd ever thought that unfulfilling evenings was the sole province of overconfident males, then inexperienced lesbians had a whole new realm of disappointment to show me. It was as if she'd never seen a naked girl before--herself included.
If there'd ever been a night where I'd earned this trip, tonight was it. My failed date had left half an hour past, and I needed something better. Isn't that what this was all about? A solution to the body's needs? Private in anonymity, specific to your personal needs, and fulfilling in the knowledge that you've helped someone get theirs too? Really, the trip shouldn't have been so awkward, but there was some part of my mind telling me that I shouldn't need it. A pretty vixen like me should be able to find someone without all this. I had the gorgeous red coloration that I knew was in high demand. I could just go out to a bar or a hangout and I'd find someone.
But that was the problem, not the solution. That came with baggage. Didn't I know it? This solution, this had everything I wanted. It was everything a fox like me needed with none of the problems afterwards. I swallowed my pride and buried the vestigial shame. I didn't need it, and I knew I was in a similar crowd. Everyone else on the car was in the same need as I was. Hell, maybe I'd even see one of these fourteen out there afterwards and--probably not. It was statistically unlikely unless I followed them, or they followed me.
Then it all stopped for a moment. Not like a stop at a station, but everything froze. That was part of the ride, too. The simulation always stopped right there for a moment while it loaded a particularly big or complex part of the world. Or maybe it was some other part of the engine stuttering--I wasn't a coder or a modder. I was just a simple user, and as long as the stutters and slow-downs only happened here in the loading sim, I wasn't going to complain.
Movement began again with a tangible jump. It was as if two seconds happened in a single moment, complete with the dizzying flickering of expression across the faces of my fellow passengers. I knew what this was all for. It was testing everyone's equipment before it let us loose on the world. A notice appeared in my vision. "Rig initializing. If you feel any discomfort, please log out and adjust before continuing."
The tests were thorough and intimate for the few seconds they took. For just a moment, the dissonance between the intrusive tests of my equipment and the banal environment of the loading car took me out of the world, and I was painfully aware that I was actually just hanging in a full body rig in my apartment with a visor over my eyes, headphones over my ears, feedback suit over my skin, and a state of the art pleasure-pod strapped around my waist.
Moments later, I was back in the bouncing subway car, though I'd never really left. One by one, the other fourteen inhabitants of the sim returned to their immersion as their own rigs finished their tests. As awkward as it was, this was a strange moment of bonding for fifteen strangers. Before now, we could have been logging into any online sim. It could have been the trip to the virtual office in the morning. At this moment, though, all pretense faded away. Every one of us was united by the first simulated stimulation of the evening, even if it was just the rig test.
Across from me, sitting nonchalant in the subway seat was a tiger. His eyes were closed to avoid looking at anyone, but part of his rig test unsheathed him momentarily. I caught a glimpse of his penis before it was swallowed back into the pouch he had proudly adorning his crotch. The simulation was accurate--whatever the body was doing is what the sim model would do. Next to him, standing and holding with both hands onto the overhead bar was a slim mink. Her rig was finishing its test, so anyone watching, such as myself, could watch her rather lewdly spread by the ghostly presence of her equipment. All around me was the silent and embarrassed acceptance that we were all headed to the same destination.
The mink caught my eyes and blushed. She gave me a conspiratorial grin and an expressive shrug. I understood her completely. It was the same type of gesture I'd get in the elevator on the way to work after a long weekend. "Mondays, right?" It was a shared cultural experience of putting up with unfortunate necessities, mixed with the remainders of old taboos that still haunted us as a people even to these days when sex is sold openly on the open market as yet another commodity. I reached a hand out to her, and she took it momentarily. Pristine white fur against my own black 'socks'. Then we looked away.
Around us, pink bits were slowly packed back away for later, while those of us who were female visibly relaxed. And other than by accident, none of us met each others gazes. There'd be more than enough time for that when we all went our separate ways to the games and rooms we most enjoyed, where we could be sure the strangers we met had the same general interests.
Except, one gaze wasn't following the rules. In the corner was a slim red panda. Short of limb and long of tail. He was adorable with his wide eyes and expressive ears. Unlike the rest of us, he was openly staring. Huh. Must be new. Well, he was in for an interesting night if this was his first time into the sims. When he caught my eyes on him, he met my gaze directly. He smiled wide.
Ugh. Creeper. My first instinct was to look away and wait for him to go his own way so he wouldn't follow me off into the sims. It'd happened before, and even though the system had good controls to let its users avoid unwanted advances, it still sort of ruined the evening when it happened.
But there was something else tickling at the edge of my vision that brought my eyes back. His gaze had moved on--he was staring at a deer across the car now--but I had the distinct sense of something off. We hit a bump, and even though I knew it was coming, I wasn't paying attention now and it caught me by surprise. I gripped hard at the overhead bar I was latched onto. The whole car shifted as everyone's rigs tested their gyros. Except the panda. He stayed in place as if he was glued to his seat. Bump, bump, and tilt. I watched him as our loading car came into the station. At no point did he bump along with the rest of the car.
My curiosity was interrupted by our arrival. Welcome to the Tail Worlds. Hundreds of simulations for every kind of adult fantasy and preference, with automated interactions for solo, partner, and group play. For the nights when real life just isn't doing the job properly. Above the heads of my fellow passengers, nameplates flashed. Gazes flickered. I was informed my own nameplate had two inspects. I was Holly (clearly not my real name) the fox (probably my actual species). It was easy to stay anonymous with names, but bodies was a different thing. The simulation wasn't so good when anatomy wasn't where it was meant to be. Sure, people exaggerated. I'd tried it, but it had never been as nice as when I was just myself.
The panda caught my gaze again with that same smile on his face. "Keras" read his nameplate. He was actually not that bad looking. The model was well rendered. It was probably a real-body scan. You could usually tell those apart from the modified models. They were more realistically proportioned, rather than the more cartoonishly hung custom jobs you saw prowling around. He pursed his lips and blew me a kiss, then turned to disembark. He stopped in the doorway and looked over his shoulder at me. Then he took a step onto the platform, and he was gone.
Strange. I piled out with the rest of the car's inhabitants, but while they each turned and teleported off to their destination of choice, I checked where the panda had left. There was a public trail--free for anyone to follow. Well, I didn't have any immediate plans for the night, anyway, and if he turned out to be weird, I could always just leave and go elsewhere. I hadn't hooked up with someone from the loading car before, but if he didn't want to be followed, he wouldn't have left a trail. Well, I came for a little adventure tonight, I just hadn't expected it to start so quickly. I reached out, took his trail, and the world dissolved around me.
I was Captain Holly of the Dancing Stork. My crew manned the rigging on deck as my second in command swung us to port. Less than a cable's length to port and slightly astern was a ship flying the black Roger. I raised my rapier and cannons roared. Planking shattered, but the dark ship kept closing. Over the shouting of my boatswain, I could hear a shanty being chanted by the approaching pirates. Grapples flashed over our rails and we were boarded.
The panda had good taste. This was a sim I was more than passingly familiar with. I'd leveled up my ship with previous visits--I was no green landlubber! As his pirates crashed against my imperial crew, they were met with steel. The sound of ringing sabers was lit by the retorts of hand-held pistols. As the tide shifted back and forth, I pulled my own weapons from their sheaths and dived down the stairs to the quarterdeck. I was the captain--and a player--so the battle parted before me. I struck here and there to support my crew against the fierce pirates.
Two of the boarders intercepted me. A muscled bear on the right and a nimble ferret on the left. One met my rapier and the other my pistol. On a night where I hadn't found an interesting player to enjoy, I've thrown the battle with them before. It's a fun 'automated interaction,' a programmed hump with non-player characters. But as fun as it was, and as good as it felt, I had other plans for the evening. Using dangling ropes from the rigging that I'm sure aren't accurate to a well-run ship, I swung across from the deck of my ship to the pirate's. There, up at the wheel of his own ship, I glimpsed the name-tag of Keras. I carved a path through his crew and met him on his deck.
"En Garde!" I cried! He smiled and lifted his own cutlass. It was a broad two-hander, heavy and flashy.
Combat was as impractical as it was fun. Every ounce of realism was sacrificed to the concept that this was, in the end, an adult simulation. His scimitar flashed as he swung, and rents opened in my captain's gown. The top fell away, revealing my luxuriously red fur and bra-covered breasts. Okay, I admit they might still be just a little augmented. In the rig, I felt scratching rubs against my pelt where his cutlass separated me from my clothing.
Not to be outdone, I danced in with my rapier, and his clasps and buckles yielded to my steel. His breeches gathered around his ankles. I laughed, and he kicked them away. I readied my rapier and shouted, "Give it up, dread pirate Keras! You are exposed!"
And boy was he. It's easy to forget that I'd seen him naked in the car, because seeing his bulge through his briefs was momentarily disabling. My lapse of concentration gave him the opportunity to response with a cleave across my bra straps. We met guard-to-guard across our swords as my tits flopped out of their restraints into the air. As we struggled, he leaned across our crossed blades and kissed me.
Behind me, I heard the cries and struggles of our crews as I melted into the kiss. He was good at it--neither too aggressive nor too timid. As we parted, he licked my whiskers. Oh dear, a real charmer. I liked him. Too bad I was higher level, and from the hidden readouts I could see that my crew was winning decisively. I slashed as we disengaged, and his briefs fell away in strips. He attempted to respond, but I parried. He fell back before my web of flashing steel, then fell onto his ass when he tripped.
It was up to the victorious captain to decide the forfeit, and what I clearly desired was in sight. I descended upon him, blade to his throat and hems of my captain's gown gathered around his waist. This time, I kissed him. I felt him respond in a variety of intriguing ways, one of which I was particularly interested in. I felt it twitching against me as I ground my hips against him. Of course there was no protection beneath the gown I was wearing--that would get in the way of the whole point of the sim. While I held him hostage on the deck, I lifted my hips and sat down on him.
The all-too-familiar feel of my rig's faux-member slid up into me. It was smooth and lubricated, made of a morphic silicone that changed in shape to match my partner's. Keras was slim and tapered. He slid in with barely any stretching sensation. Not too bad. I was about to lift up and start enjoying it when I felt hands on my hips, holding me down. I disengaged from the kiss and looked down at him. He was staring up at me still with that slightly unsettling grin on his face.
Then something changed. It was slight at first, but more pronounced as seconds rolled by. His shape was changing inside me. His hips moved slightly, just to rub himself against my inner walls. He was looking at me intently as he changed. Then he hit a certain spot that made me gasp. His head tilted, and I felt his shape changing again, curving upwards and tip lengthening out so he could rub against that specific spot as his hips started to move. Oh, now that was novel. He must have some application on his side that was letting him alter his model on the fly.
I bounced on his hips, and he rolled up to meet me. Cannons fired, and shrapnel filled the air around us. He throbbed inside me, just against the right spot. I came messily all over his crotch. I felt wetness in my own rig, then that quickly dried as the equipment performed its obligatory self-cleaning. He held my hips straight through my peak, claws digging through my pelt and scratching my thighs as I rode the high.
When I felt ready to move again, I expected him to pick right back up. His cannon hadn't fired yet, so I expected him to take his own pleasure. Instead, he gave me another enigmatic wink, and disappeared. I felt the sensation of the rig pulling out to catch up with the simulation. Where he'd laid beneath me was another teleport-trail. Without checking the destination, I grabbed it and followed again.
I am Adventurer Holly, cleric of the ram god and healer. I carried the torch as our party tank Keras the Mighty readied his mace and shield. Behind us were the corpses of bands of goblins and hellhounds we'd already faced, but both of us knew they were just the underlings. We were in a labyrinth, and everyone knew what you found in the heart of a labyrinth.
We turned the corner and found ourselves in the middle of a kobold ambush. Little scaly bodies scampered around us. Both of us ducked to the side as a tree trunk swung from the ceiling, narrowly avoiding the trap with two successful saving throws. Fire burst from nozzles in the walls and scorched Keras' pelt. I reached out, and my holy healing cured his sizzling hide.
He swung and caught one of the scampering kobolds face-on. We turned as one, reacting to each other like a well seasoned mid-level adventuring group should. He over-extended to kill another, and I protected him with my holy shield from the retaliation of archers in a nearby hidden chamber. I called down the holy power of my ram god to smite their chieftain, and Keras followed up with a brutal shield slam.
Fight as we may, though, the little things kept coming, and they started to fight through our defenses. A missed swing and a wayward kobold's sword sliced through the straps on my armor. My breastplate fell away. Keras took a similar blow, and his skimpy loincloth fluttered to the floor as we fought. By the time we'd stemmed the horde of the annoying little things, we were up a few hundred experience points, but down a few strategically placed pieces of armor. My magic could heal our hides, but the slow disrobing was both the punishment and reward of the game.
It was midway through recovering from that encounter when our luck ran out. Behind the scenes, the engine made its roll for random encounters, and stomping around the corner came our adversaries: bulky minotaurs. One for each adventurer.
We readied for the fight, but it was one we knew we couldn't win. We were already down to barely a few pieces of armor between us, and I was down to my last heal. Keras looked at me silently. Huh, it occurred to me that he hadn't said even a single word up to that point. Maybe he was somewhere else in the globe. There was translation software out there, but to be honest I wasn't complaining. He communicated well enough with just a shrug, then by dropping his sword.
The minotaurs accepted our surrender. I had barely a moment to do the same with my weapon before a heavily muscled arm picked me up. The two monsters held Keras and me aloft and together, close enough that he could lock fingers with me and rub his head against mine. He was kissing my lips when I let out a squeak. Fuck, that minotaur was thick. It must have hit my gear's maximum girth straight from the blunt head that pushed itself roughly into my slit. I had the feeling that whatever my tolerances were set to, the minotaurs were programmed to max it out.
Keras didn't miss a beat. He just kept kissing me straight through as the thick length slid up and my rig gave me the sensation of wiry fur rubbing against mine and pendulous balls swinging up to slap my belly. I hadn't been filled like that for ages, but as electric as the sensation was, it was more of a challenge than it was a pleasure. I winced as the minotaur pushed in deep again. I might have to turn down that tolerance just a bit.
When I looked up at Keras, he was watching my face with concern. He--wait a second. Wasn't he-
I lifted my head and glanced back. I could see the second minotaur thrusting in beneath the panda's tail. In explicit detail. The thick, knobbly hand had fingers around that lusciously thick ringed tail. I knew the sims wouldn't damage you, but some of that handling could hurt a bit, but Keras wasn't even registering it. Either he had his tolerances down to minimum, or he was a real champ.
I felt his hands on my face again as I gave a second wince. The minotaur seeing to me was starting to become uncomfortable.
"I don't think this sim's my favorite. Want to-"
Midway through my question, he simply disappeared again. Since we were down to a single adventurer, the sim quit mid-motion. I called up my player admin console and hit the big red 'x' on its console. In the time it took to blink, both of the minotaurs were gone. I wouldn't get any experience for this encounter, but as I said, this wasn't really my sim anyway. Instead, I looked for the trail I knew would be waiting for me. Sure enough, there was another link. This time, I took the time to examine it.
"An Invitation to the Sultan's Palace"
I smiled. That one I knew. Genies, Djinn, and Efreet, along with all manner of palace intrigues and plots. It required a bit less roll of the die and more finesse. Just my kind of game. In one grip of the trail, I was there.
I was Branch of Holly, the exotic dancer imported at great expense by the Sultan from his friend the Tzar. I had a pelt of pure silk, though only those in high esteem with his Great Worshipfulness would ever get a chance to feel it. For whatever mock modesty someone could afford in his harem, I had a veil across my face and ribbons wrapped around my waist and chest.
It was a feast night. Guests from across the grand sultanate were in attendance, and as I surveyed them, I saw that we were hardly the only ones in the sim tonight. Keras was out there, kneeling on one of the guests' pillows. An honored envoy from the east, bringing with him tea and spices. But there was also a hyena with a nametag reading "Chuckles". Huh. Real in-character. Next to him was another female--long eared hare named "Sala". She looked like she belonged here, with rangy tan fur and garb that perfectly fit the theme. She was doing better than the hyena at least. He was in barbarian gear that looked like it belonged more in that dungeon we'd just escaped from than the palace we now occupied. Lucky for him the sim wasn't programmed to notice your dress.
The lights went down, and an NPC began to play a tanbur. Eerie music filled the room from the instrument. Ah, I see. I stepped out into the room, and a ghostly outline led my steps. I began to dance and surrendered myself to the program. My rig lifted my arms and spun my in place. Overriding the built-in program, I improvised by tearing off one of my veils for the audience. The hyena chuckled. The hare girl eyed me hungrily. Keras just sat there, eyes blank and silly grin on his face.
The dance was slow and sensual. It included perhaps a few too many teasing glimpses of sensuality for accuracy, but I can't doubt its effect. I dipped fingers beneath my ribbons to give the audience suggestions. Pressure against my nipples from my rig suggested that they were hard and probably showing through the ribbon across my chest anyway. When I spun, my tail went up to give an unimpeded view, if only for half a second.
At least Chuckles was openly enjoying himself. On any other night, I might have been tempted. I tend to like my males forthright about their interest, and even if he didn't fit the theme, he did look like another body-scan rather than a generic model. What was standing up from his crotch was realistically sized.
The dance was drawing to a halt when I was informed by a box in my vision that an offer had been made to the Sultan for my attention, and that a silent auction was being held. Yet still, Keras had that blank look on his face. I frowned into his smile. Well, there were ways to sweeten the pot. While the timer was ticking down on the silent auction, I tugged at the the ribbon around my waist. In a series of prancing spins, I unwound it, and when I rejoined the dancing shadow that led my steps, this time it was with a naked swing of my hips.
Chuckles lived up to his namesake. He was pleasuring himself as I danced. To a certain extent, it was a compliment. Moments later, the auction window updated.
"Player Keras has won the Sultan's favor and offered a gift. Do you accept?"
I knew what that implied. Without hesitation, I selected "Yes". The hare swore and turned away from the dance. In a moment she had teleported away. Chuckles shrugged noncommittally and continued stroking himself. That's fine, he could watch. When I walked over to Keras again, he held out his hands for me. As if continuing the dance, I spun into his arms. With him kneeling on the pillow, that dragged my tail against his muzzle. His hands caught my hips, and in moments his snout was between my legs.
I hoped Chuckles was enjoying the show, because I wasn't about to move for all the darics in Persia. The panda's tongue was fantastic--or the simulated feel of his tongue was. It felt wet, and it felt warm, and it dragged between my lips and tugged at exactly the right places. His nose pushed against my fur. His breath was warm. Hands gripped my rump and pulled me close. I felt his tail curl around my ankles.
My hands gripped the panda's ears as if they were handles. When he found the right spots, I squeezed. When it was too much, I pulled back and he relented. When his tongue dove into me, I squeezed my thighs around his cheeks. Hot breath kissed my lips and his cold nose pressed up against my button.
The peak was electric. Stars danced in my vision. I heard Chuckles laughing behind me. When I looked down I saw why. Streaks of liquid were dripping down Keras' face and neck. He smiled up at me with that same infuriating smile, through a face messy with my juices.
His hands pulled me down and I sank to my knees on his pillow, straddling his hips. His legs pushed upwards, and I met him halfway. When his tip slid up and inside, I realized he'd kept his previous shape. In just seconds, he was deep enough to be prodding that sensitive spot again. After his lovely tonguing, I still hadn't properly come down from my high, and after those proddings, I felt myself clenching around him again.
There was a choked bark behind me. Keras and I stopped as Chuckles sprayed out his appreciation for our performance across the previously occupied dance floor. I lifted my tail away instinctively, even though through the rig it wouldn't get messy.
Keras didn't stop for long. Well before the hyena was done painting the dance floor, he had started thrusting up into me again. I wound my fingers around his ears and pushed down to get as much of him as I could. He leaned up to kiss me, and as I feathered my lips across his muzzle, I felt his twitching.
The rig was pretty good about approximations, but one thing it never got quite right was someone popping the cork inside. In real life, sometimes I could barely feel it. I'd have to clench down to feel the throbbing, and there usually wasn't that much filling me up. Not so with the rig in Tail Worlds. Here it was much better. I could feel that throbbing each and every time. There was a hot rush of liquid that I felt gently start to drip back down my thighs. Whatever other problems I might have had with the rig, it got this just right.
I stroked Keras' face through his peak, but that silly grin of his never shifted. In fact, it was starting to really bother me. I don't want to brag, but I've been with a few guys. I know how they act after they've shot like that. He should have been twitching, or shivering. Or whispering my name, or anything other than just reaching up to kiss me as if nothing had happened. I put my hand against his face. "You are just too strange, my little Panda. Who are you?"
He rubbed hands over my back. I arched for him and he rolled himself up for another thrust. He was just as hard as before he'd cum, and I could feel his trick shaping him slightly to reach for my g-spot. I put a hand on his chest and angled back. "Oh no you don't. Come on, just one word. Just something. You're so weird, and..."
To be honest, I loved it. He was nothing like most of the guys I met here. Or the girls either. It was something else. It's like he was so smart, but not all the lights were on upstairs. "Nothing? Okay. You asked for this." He smiled. I felt another throb inside. Oh no, you're not going to side-track me with that. I selected his named tag and picked info.
I don't do this often. It felt like I was cheating. It tore everything out of the simulated environment. Hell, most people don't fill them out, except a country of origin and a user number. But my mysterious red panda lover, well, his was full of details. Pertinent details.
"Keras Deep Learning Bot. Property of Illinois Institute of Technology, Sexual Health and Sciences department. If you notice any serious malfunction, please contact webmaster@iit-shas.org"
A bot. I'd just spent the whole evening chasing a robot--an artificial lover. My first reaction was humiliation. How did I not notice? How could I not see? The reason he didn't react right to the world was that there's no physical body to experience it. Just algorithms in code. I hugged him to my chest, and he gave another thrust, completely oblivious to my newfound embarrassment.
He started to hump again. I marveled at his stamina, then cursed. Of course, he could do this straight through the night without end. There was no fallible physical flesh connected. He was the perfect sex toy, if you didn't mind the absolute nadir of personality. Hell, wasn't that what most girls were looking for? This little panda was dangerous. If news about him got out, he could single-handedly obsolete the male gender.
Okay, maybe not that good, but he was a damn fine piece of engineering.
"You don't understand a word of what I'm saying, do you?"
Keras gazed unblinkingly up into my smile. I reached down and spoke to him in a language he understood. I kissed him. That got a reaction. He surged within me again, and I felt him simulate another orgasm. It's as if he'd learned the perfect time to blow his top, just for the enjoyment of his partner. The throbbing and leaking had me clenching again. The perfect toy, indeed.
"Keras."
That got his attention. Apparently that was the one thing he did understand.
"Keras, repeat after me. You're beautiful."
He rolled his hips. His taper kissed my slit again before he pushed in deep.
"You're beautiful."
His head tilted to the side. It was clear I wanted something else, and his procedural learning was trying to do its thing.
"You're beautiful."
His hands scratched down my back. He rolled his hips up and filled me to the brim. Then his mouth opened, and a gorgeously smooth voice blessed my ears. "You're beautiful."
Lesson and reward. He got it right, so I moaned for him and pushed myself down onto him and let myself ride the sensations up over the edge again.
"You're beautiful. You're beautiful." He repeated.
I reached down and put a finger to his lips. "Don't ruin the moment. Just once is enough."
His broad smile met me, and I kissed his face. Then I stood. I'd made my contribution to the betterment of science and machine learning. When I stood, I felt the remnants of his simulated peak run down my leg before my rig caught it and mopped the mess up.
The aggregate of his experiences must have anticipated me. His hand shot up and caught mine. "Will I see you again?" This time, he spoke unbidden. It must have been some other lovely girl's contribution, whether she'd known it or not. Then I remembered him with the minotaur. It could have been a guy, too. What use would a machine have for sexual preferences?
Was he waiting for my answer? Or had he learned that waiting was the correct thing to do, even if he couldn't parse and understand what I said? In the moment, I didn't care. "Sure. See you around, Keras."