Ch. 56

Story by Asrayl on SoFurry

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#61 of True Confessions of a Trainer


--Wendy--

It had been a nice little vacation in the end. A break from a lot of worrying, a lot of stress and problems. I enjoyed being alone with Stacky. Riding through the hills, following this trace or that, meandering through the day with the breeze in my hair, and his confident step carrying us wherever we felt like going.

Penance going to him was an awful blow, but ... seeing the two of them together just seemed so right, I couldn't be upset with her. Or him. The way he looked at her, the way he held her, and more importantly, the way she held him, in return. I admired her courage. Her resolve.

Staccato and I had been out for a couple of days, camped by a quiet creek in a beautiful valley. We'd found a grove of fruit bearing trees and were largely content to have a break from everyone else. As crowded as it was, it seemed like we just didn't have much time for ourselves.

"I'll have to get us some friends, Stacky." It wasn't anything he didn't already know. I was a league trainer, after all. "And we'll have to get back on the road, soon. With or without him."

It had been a nice break, and I understood how badly he needed it, but I had things I needed to do. I couldn't stay here forever. Even if here was really nice this time of year. He didn't need me to carry him around anymore, and he could make up his own mind on whether he was coming with me.

Staccato made an exasperated noise, and gave me a look as if to say it was long overdue. I understood the sentiment, and ran my hand through his mane as he relaxed and laid his head down beside me.

"I know." I did now, I'd learned so much thanks to this journey. "It's the last time I'll ask you to carry anyone who isn't me. Outside of an honest emergency." I promised. I meant it. Not my friends. Not my family. Not anyone unless it was unavoidable. "I'm grateful, Stacky. I know I haven't shown it well."

He nudged me hard, with his head, and met my eyes in an expression meant purely to silence me. It was difficult to not laugh, he really couldn't intimidate me. I knew him too well.

"Alright. Alright. You win." I replied, shaking my head. "I'll stop apologizing. We came out here to have fun, right?" It had been a long time since we'd just... gone for a ride. Too long. It felt wonderful to not have a particular destination. To not have a particular time we were due back.

It had been fun, though I think Staccato and I may have had slightly different ideas about what fun was sometimes. We had played around a lot, the past few days. I couldn't believe how much energy he had. More than once he almost made a complete mess of my clothes, so finally, I just stopped wearing them when we were enjoying ourselves.

I couldn't complain though, the things he did with his clever lips...

I think we were both honestly a little disappointed though. There was no way he was going to fit, under the most ideal circumstances. Still, we shared what was safe to, and with a frequency I hadn't anticipated from the start.

We just seemed to do it in every free moment... moments like this. "Again, Stacky? Goodness, you sure know how to tell a girl you like her... Fine. Let me just strip out of this, okay? But give a girl some warning this time!"

That might have been the only real sticking point, he seemed to delight in making a mess of me, now that he didn't have to worry about making me upset about my clothes. And he made such a mess!

--Annabelle--

I had little doubt Gwen already knew. The way he was with his pokemon. The way I almost let him be with me. I didn't out and out say it, but he was all I could talk about. She seemed happy for the distraction, her aura gradually shifting away from melancholy to a kind of happiness she normally reserved for birthdays.

His impact on our lives was shielding her from the sense of loss and sadness. Shielding her from the cruelty those men had come here with. One more reason to be grateful to him. One more reason to feel torn about it all.

"I'm a little envious of Helena." I admitted, as we sat upstairs, watching the sunset through the bay window. "I know she's going to be happy with him."

It was a pretty sight, but it felt different than it usually did. It was something we shared very often, and perhaps I had been taking it for granted. Perhaps I'd really taken her for granted. The familiarity of it all.

I didn't realize I'd said it, at first, but Gwen chuckled a happy, lighthearted little laugh, and ran her hand over my head. "You don't need to envy her from a distance. And if you're fishing for my permission, you always have it. I'll miss having you two around, but maybe it's time we all moved on."

"I..." I wanted to say something, to say anything, but she just smiled and hugged me close. Silenced me with a gentle touch. I could feel the tremor in her feelings, in the color of her aura.

"I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to come with me. I think I'm going to go home." She said, as she looked around the cabin with a quiet, almost mournful expression. "I think it's time to let someone else step in, here. I'm just too old for these kinds of adventures."

I couldn't argue it. Hadn't I thought the same thing, before? It hurt to know, but it also told me what I needed to hear.

"Then I'm coming with you." I told her, as I hugged her. I felt her aura, the melancholy pushed back by something warmer, and gentler. By love and kindness, and care. By all the feelings she had for us, for every pokemon here, but for Helena and I, specifically.

"You could." Gwen replied, running her hand over my head. It was a soothing touch, but I knew it also meant she was about to tell me something I didn't want to hear. "But I'd be happier to think you were out there making friends and having fun." She sighed, and patted the empty space on the sofa beside where she sat. The upholstery had been cut and dirtied, seemingly for little more than the enjoyment of destroying someone's life. I sat next to her, and waited for her to speak her mind.

"I'm going to go home, Annabelle. To a quiet little town by the bay. To a tiny little house where nobody really visits, and nobody really notices. I'm going to spend my time reading books and sipping tea. Is that really going to make you happy?" She asked, her hands taking mine.

"You're a young woman. You have friends, and you have years and years ahead of you. You should use them well. Come visit, please. But don't stay. You're the closest thing I have to a daughter, you and Helena both. I want you to live your life, it would make me happy with mine."

"No." I replied, giving her hands a squeeze. "You know you're going to need someone to look after you, and you know I couldn't be happy abandoning you! I'm going with you, and that's that!"

"Such willful children... but I suppose that should make me happy." She said, with a sigh. "Fine, a compromise, I'll get his information, and you're getting re-registered. When you decide you're bored and miss Helena, we can make sure you can go see them."

"Fine. But in return, you have to promise to let me help you, and not do everything yourself." I answered, crossing my arms in front of me. It wasn't very effective. She mostly just laughed at my huff, and pulled me close for a hug.

Still... she was right, in a way. I belonged with her right now, but I knew I'd be going back to him, once I was sure she was safe and happy. I'd be going back to my friends, once my mother was really ready to let me go.

Her aura spoke volumes. She loved having me around, but she wanted to see me move on, too. I owed her that, sooner or later. But... I wasn't ready to let her go yet. Not yet. Not like this.

--Trainer--

We had packed up, that night. Spent our last night at the sanctuary under the open skies. The weather was fine, and with all of us enjoying the chance to stretch out and relax, it was very comfortable.

Helena had stolen me away for a little while, asked me about what my plans were going forward. It was a fair question, and I couldn't give her a solid answer.

"I'm ready for a vacation." I began, as I ran my hands over her head. "I mean, not that this hasn't been wonderful, in its own way, but..."

"No, I understand." She replied, as she pushed me down and curled up half on top of me. "I mean, it's been really rough for you. You deserve some real rest, and I think everyone else is of the same mind. I know Mira is."

Mira just had a way with everyone. I couldn't quite understand it, myself. But they all just gravitated towards her. I was grateful for it, though. She tended to bridge the gaps between everyone. I often found myself pulling her aside to thank her for some snippet or another I'd learned because of her. Or some budding argument she managed to heal before it became anything more. She reminded us that we all loved each other, in moments where our strong opinions might have made us lose sight of it

"I meant what comes after that? You're a league trainer, right?" She asked, gesturing with her horn towards the badges I pinned to my collar. "Those don't come easy, and... I make six, don't I? You're going to need me to fight, aren't you?"

It had been something I was thinking about, for a while. Claire, Tempest, Mira, Cocoa, and now Penance and Helena. We could collectively enter proper tournaments. We could see how far we could climb, in the national rankings.

We could. They would, if I asked them to.

But did we even want to?

"I don't know if I want to." I answered, honestly. "Or if you do, or if Penance does. I promised each of them, and I'm promising you now, you don't have to fight, if you don't want to. You don't have to fight. You don't have to do anything you aren't okay with. Understand?"

"Fuckin'... yeah, I already figured that out, will you stop with that shit, already?" Helena replied, swatting me with a paw. "I'm willing to fight, okay? I'm stronger than I look, and I'll do my best if you want to teach me something new. And in case you hadn't noticed, and I know you haven't, you lazy fuck, Penance worships the ground you walk on. If you told her you wanted to enter a tournament with you, I'd feel bad for anyone in her way. What she wants is to make you happy, fucker."

"I don't think she really could fight. Not as she is right now." I replied, shaking my head. "And it's ... not as easy as it sounds. You want to know what it's like to travel with a league trainer, ask Cocoa about her first few months with me."

"I don't need to." Helena replied, as she nuzzled her cheek into my chest. "I've seen the way she fights, she worked hard for that. I know you did too, it wasn't an accident. I know you're going to expect me to work hard, too. And I know you don't think I'm capable of it. I know you think I'm going to let you down." Helena sighed heavily at that, and for a moment just quietly laid in my lap. When she spoke again, it was softer, quieter. "Fucker... it hurts to know you feel that way." She said at last, meeting my gaze. "But I get it. I don't exactly like hard work. But I'd do it for you." She added, laying her head down in my lap again. "You have no idea how much I would do, for you."

"I imagine you'll have plenty of time to teach me, won't we?" I asked, scratching behind her ears. "And I'll have plenty of time to teach you, too. If you're willing, we'll add it to our to-do list, and I'll work on getting you and Penance up to speed with the others."

"Just... make sure that's not all we do... and in return I'll make sure you get something I know you want. Fair?" She offered, nuzzling against my lap with a meaningful little smile. "I'll make sure you get a lot of it, too."

"Not much for bargaining, are you? I've seen the little looks you give me. You want to do that anyway." I teased, my hand slipping up to her horn, tugging, just a little bit, as she offered a playful bit of resistance before opening her mouth wide and sinking down, in a pantomime of the pleasure she was offering, her eyes locked to mine the whole while.

"And I've seen the way you look at me, fucker. You think I haven't noticed the way you stare at my ass? I'll do it, too. But you've got to promise me you won't push us too hard. I don't want it to feel miserable. For any of us."

"I'd have promised that anyway. You're -really- bad at bargaining." I teased, my free hand drifting down her back. "Frighteningly bad at it. Maybe I should do the negotiating." I said, as she rolled her eyes, and snuggled close against me.

"Yeah, yeah. Fucker. But I'll hold you to your word." She said, in a playful sulk, swatting my thigh with her heavy paw, though she nuzzled against me as I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close as I laid back in the grass.

"As long as you hold me, I'm okay with it." I replied. She did exactly that, for a long time.

--Claire--

There aren't really words for how it feels to be free to walk around after a long time being unable to. The road beneath my feet felt positively invigorating, and the journey felt fresh and new. We had decided to take our time, with Wendy riding Staccato some ways ahead. We'd agreed at a stopping point, and it would be up to Penance to carry him to the rally. A task she was clearly up to, judging by the way she almost pranced around him as he suggested it.

But it was his way, our way, that we share the journey together, in as much as was possible. It had always been that way, and Wendy's insistence on hurrying along didn't change that. The two had almost argued about it, before Staccato stepped in, nudging her and giving her a look.

Her blush made it clear what he was implying. A little time away from the rest of us would do them some good. So it was that the argument fell apart before it formed, and she made her way on what was mostly her own path, and we to mostly ours.

Annabelle and Helena shared a tearful goodbye. Gwen and master took their time detailing a probable itinerary, and a few known safe places she could send Annabelle that he would be informed of. Annabelle seemed satisfied with it, though I caught a sense of frustration, as well. It was hard to tell, she kept her thoughts and her feelings well guarded.

My mother had pulled master aside for a time, prior to our leaving. It was the strangest thing, as if they had been hidden away in a deep, dark storm cloud. Morrigan said nothing about the exchange, and though he opened his mind completely to me, it was as if there was nothing there. As if the last thing he remembered truly was crossing the treeline.

I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I was certain I wasn't meant to, and that was perhaps the single most maddening, frustrating thing she could have ever done to me.

It was almost impossible to not make guesses about what had gone on, or what had been said.

I spent most of the bright, sunny day walking down the road behind him, doing exactly that with my idle thoughts.

Maddening!

--Penance--

I was grateful that he wanted to walk. That he chose to walk, despite Wendy's protestations to the contrary. He almost fought me over carrying his backpack, but Helena put him in his place with a few sharp words and a slap of her paw. It was fun to watch the pair. I couldn't imagine ever doing anything like that, myself. But I could tell the others thought he kind of needed it.

So it was that I walked beside master, carrying that bag, strapped to my shoulders. I wondered what the big deal was, all the times Staccato had bitched and moaned about it. I loved that I was able to immediately do something that helped him.

He spent a lot of time chatting with everyone, but it seemed he couldn't go a quarter hour without running his hands through my fur, or kissing the top of my head, or something. It was embarrassing, and sweet. I wished I had something interesting to say, but it was fun to listen to them, too.

Claire had made a big show of stretching and stopping to enjoy flowers, or some interesting little quirk of the scenery. She all but begged him to promise to never put her in a pokeball again, if it could be helped at all. He, of course, promised it readily.

I got the impression he preferred we never spent any time in one. It was a little strange, to be honest. Wendy... well, I saw the daylight almost every day, and that was okay. It was nice to feel like I'd almost never see the inside of a pokeball. It just felt like he really understood. Maybe without realizing it.

It seemed like every day we were together, I found a new reason to fall in love with him.

I was looking forward to having actual days together with him, it was already a nice change of pace.

We took a break for lunch, and he cooked. I realized he actually cooked every meal. Claire, Tempest and Mira went to scrounge for berries, or whatever else they could find. Cocoa let him milk her, and when the others came back, Mira milked her, again. Something the pair both seemed to enjoy, immensely.

Some things from cans, some things from a box, a fresh creamy berry sauce, and maybe it seemed like standard fare to them, but Helena and I agreed, it was one of the best meals we'd ever had.

We walked another hour, perhaps two, the sun was beginning to hang low in the sky, and he asked the girls back into their pokeballs. Nobody necessarily wanted to, but nobody argued about it. Helena stared at him like he was stupid when he got to her, and I couldn't help but laugh. He was, a little.

"So, you finally realized you didn't have a pokeball for me, this morning? Yeah, I was wondering how long that was going to take." She teased, as he walked to his bag, shaking his head and laughing aloud.

"Yeah. Just... Make sure you don't lose the damned thing, okay? I hate pokeballs, fucker. Let me out the moment we get there." She said, with an honest growl.

He promised, and pulled her in for a kiss, before he tapped her with the pokeball, the bright light of her 'capture', the quiet little hiss-click and confirmation bell registering her to his ID.

I wondered what she was thinking, that she hadn't said anything the whole day. That she got defensive as soon as he realized his mistake. She wasn't actually angry at him. It was hard to tell what she was feeling.

As he settled in on my back, I took a good look over my shoulder, making sure he was ready before I began.

I hated running on the road. It felt wrong. It didn't move right. And before long I had drifted off of it just a little. He didn't say a word, just held on and let me. We both knew where I was going, and he trusted me to get him there. All the times I'd been with Wendy, she'd insisted that Staccato stay on the roads and trails. The kind of freedom I felt not having to follow it was amazing, and as the springy grass caught each step, tickled just so, felt so right beneath the thick pads of my paws, I just wanted to run even faster. To show him my gratitude by showing him the world as a blur.

Catching up to Wendy was going to be a breeze. I was glad he would let me carry him, and go at his own pace instead of following her at hers.

Every memory we made wrote it in my heart; It felt so good to be his!