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“What?" Marty's face is contorted in disbelief.

“Me and Ryan are a couple," I reaffirm, maintaining a spirited demeanor.

The otters wide eyed stare is so exaggerated as to border on comical. He soon appears to realize that and he regains a degree of composure. Still, it's clear without a word spoken that he didn't see this coming and, more so, that it's not what he wanted to hear. I carry on as though blissfully ignorant of that.

“And when did you decide this exactly?"

I've never seen him so off-balance and unsure of himself. His voice creaks and strains and his back is hunched over, gaze flitting across the room.

“Yesterday. I met up with him yesterday. I, uh, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted to be sure this news wouldn't fuck things up between the two of you." I pause and shrug, maintaining my facade of ignorance. “You told me it wouldn't so here we are."

I widen my smile.

“Yeah," he says. “Yeah. It's just a... shock."

“I get it," I say, nodding.

“So you two are really an item?"

“They really are, unless he's having us both on," Adrian chimes in. “He told me all about it last night."

Marty stares at him now, his eyes vacant, seemingly unable to truly compute or internalize what he's hearing.

“Oh," is all he says. My confidence lapses. I find myself feeling sorry for him.

He invited us into his home, put a lot of effort into making us feel welcome, invested himself into our lives and for fuck's sake last week he told me he thinks he loves me. All of that for me to casually drop the news on him, over an hour after I got here, that I'm going out with his roommate. No matter how well composed he is, no matter how much he may have believed he could take this, of course it's going to affect him. He and Ryan have been at one anothers' throats, but he must have felt things were going decently with me, until now.

I lose character and frown. What if everything Ryan told me really was just paranoid delusion? If that's true I've just stuck a knife through Marty's heart for no good reason. It's cruel.

Then again, even given the circumstances, his reaction to the news has been extreme. It leaves me wondering.

Maybe I'd have a more clear stance on all of this if my head wasn't still buzzing from the weed.

“I'm so sorry," I say, my entire demeanor having changed over the course of the last few seconds. “I guess this wasn't exactly what you wanted to hear, nor the best time to hear it. It- it's the weed; I'm not thinking straight. Sorry."

Adrian flashes me a harsh look and nudges me. He doesn't approve of my premature sympathies.

I can't quite seem to figure out why immediately. Fuck it's so hard to keep my thoughts in order.

Look, Kale, you don't need to beat yourself up and apologize to Marty for saying what you said. This whole thing about dating Ryan is a lie and you can clear it up by the end of the night if it becomes clear that the husky's fears were unfounded. You don't need to worry so much. Stay concentrated and stick to the plan. You want Marty to be off balance and upset, remember? That was half the point of telling the lie in the first place, don't go and take back what you've said now.

“You don't have to apologize Kale. You've done nothing wrong," he says, echoing my thoughts. His voice is raspy and his manner unfocused. “I'm just, uh, I really didn't expect this."

I nod along sympathetically, saying nothing, giving Marty ample opportunity to expose his own potential dishonesty. If the husky was right about him then he has to be in a total head spin right now. He certainly seems to be. If there's any chance at all that he'll slip up and revealing his machinations then it may well come in the next few minutes. I need now, more than ever, to stay focused.

“How did you end up deciding then?" Marty asks finally. “I mean, I guess that's kind of an odd question, but I'm curious. Maybe a better way to phrase it is this: what made him the clear choice for you?"

“Oh, well," I tap the side of my muzzle as I formulate my response, the process unavoidably slowed by my gradually fading weed high. “It's nothing you've done wrong, I like you a lot Marty, it's just well, I don't really know how to put it into words. It's attraction, it's..."

“Love?" He asks, a rueful half-smile playing across his muzzle.

I hesitate and lean back in my chair. “Something like that. I might not label it so hastily myself though."

He nods haltedly. “So the decision is all to do with him and nothing to do with me?"

“Well, what do you mean by that exactly?"

“It's just... actually, let me go back a bit. You know last time you and I talked? On the phone the other day?"

“Yeah?"

“You saw Ryan that day and you mentioned he seemed troubled. Did you ever find out why?"

Interesting time to bring up such a thing.

“Uhh," I begin, dragging out the sound to buy myself a little more time. I can't exactly tell him the truth about Ryan just yet. There's nothing for it but to dig deeper into the pit of lies. After all of this, if Ryan was wrong, explaining all this to Marty won't be fun. Putting him through an emotional roller-coaster and lying to him over and over again might not be so easy for him to forgive and forget.

It occurs to me that with all of this drama and convoluted interpersonal politics going on I think my little love square has totally collapsed in on itself by now. At the end of all this I think I'm more likely than not going to be single and out of options. Part of me is scared of that. Another part of me doesn't care at all.

“No, I never found out," I say finally. “Maybe he was just tired, or... I don't know. It didn't come up when I saw him yesterday. But, why ask? Do you know why he was acting like that?"

The reversal of his question seems to catch him off guard as he twitches and draws back, deep into the armchair.

“No, well, not precisely. It's, um, it all sort of links up. You'll see what I'm getting at soon, but I need to ask something else. Did Ryan say things about me that would put me in a negative light? Did he make me seem untrustworthy or, or something like that?"

“I, uh-" Okay. Odd. Even through my weed-fueled haze I can see he's reacting unusually, yet his questions touch on something real. His line of questioning is too close to the truth for comfort. One of them has been playing me, I'm near-certain of that now. It's past time to finally figure out who it is.

As I mull things over, leaving a gap in the conversation, Adrian picks up where I left off.

“What are you getting at Marty? We're both at your apartment drinking, chatting and having a good time for the most part. I don't think all of this would be happening if Ryan had somehow turned Kale against you. I know the two of you aren't on the best terms, but aren't you going a little far here?"

“I hear you. I'm sorry, I know it sounds bad, and I will explain myself but please, Kale, could you answer the question?"

Adrian offers a shrug and they turn to me. I let my gaze meet Marty's. He looks desperate, his eyes pleading me to heed his request.

“What he said about you, the breakup, how it's been for him since then... no, none of that had any real impact on my decision. I want to be with him Marty, and he wants to be with me. That's really all there is to it."

I attempt to offer a smile once again. His eyes don't waver from mine but they have an entirely different quality to them now. They no longer plead, they drill deep as though he's trying to see inside my mind. I don't like it. He's wearing a deep-set frown, his expression having morphed from desperation to something more stern and solemn. He doesn't break eye contact and for some reason I don't either. I feel almost as through he's testing me. Pushing me to the limits and seeing if I'll break. I won't. Not again. I need to stay strong to protect those I care about, as I wasn't able to for Adrian. I can't let anything even close to that ever happen again.

“Okay," he says, finally conceding from the staring match. “Well, I'm glad to hear that. I'm sorry for being so intense about all this. I've just been under a lot of stress lately. I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety, you know? The truth is things between Ryan and I have been worse than a few little arguments here and there." His eyes glaze over and he pauses, losing himself to thought or memory for a little while. He picks up in a whisper. “Maybe he only said it as a heat-of-the-moment kind of thing, maybe he regrets saying it, maybe he didn't mean a word of it, but Ryan did say something that scared me. It's left me worrying ever since. You know when I called and we arranged this get-together? Earlier that day Ryan was at my throat. I don't want to twist things and paint myself a victim, I wasn't all too pleasant to him either, but I didn't go half as far as he did." He takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes. “It wasn't even the first time he implied it, but it was the first time he was so blunt and fierce about it. It was the first time I really felt like he meant it. Ryan said that he was going to tell you exactly how much of a 'terrible person' I am." He mimes air quotes. “He wanted to poison you against me. He wanted you to doubt me and my intentions. So when you told me you and him are an item... I was worried he might have done it after all. That's why I was so insistent with my questions. That's why I told you not to trust him too easily in the first place. I'm sorry, for all of it, but I hope you can see where I was coming from, even if in the end I was wrong."

It's a hell of a story, but is it true?

I mean it adds up, at least in a mechanical sense. Ryan really has filled me with doubts over Marty's character. Maybe I have it all backwards. What if everything Ryan told me is a lie, or at least a manipulation of the truth? Is he the one, not Marty, who wants to sow discontent and confusion?

Marty could be lying right now, but I have to admit it's uncanny for him to say all this when it fits exactly with what Ryan said yesterday. Then again it could be an educated guess on his part, or maybe he found out about the whole thing somehow and he's telling this story as an attempt to reframe Ryan's revelations as manipulative slander.

Fuck, my head hurts.

There's no use in this, nothing has really changed. I still don't know who's telling the truth and until I do I'm just going back and forth in my head. All that makes sense is to carry on with the plan. Complicating things any more may cause my head to explode.

“Okay," I say finally. “I get it - and I'm not mad at you - but Ryan hasn't poisoned me against you or anything like that. I mean, he has his issues with you, that's for sure, but he didn't push that drama onto me. I'm sorry to hear he said that to you, I would guess he said it out of anger, maybe even spite, but I don't think he'd ever actually do something like that."

Marty nods slowly. Adrian stays tight-muzzled. I wonder what my fox thinks of all this. I wish we could communicate telepathically, that would make this all a lot easier.

I let my paw drift and touch the side of his leg, moving across it just an inch or two in slow-motion. His eyes dart toward me, he regards me curiously for a second, then allows himself a small, brief grin. The cloud of fog around my mind lifts a little and life falls into focus once more. I'm sure this will all turn out okay in the end. I have to believe that.

“I hope you're right. And I'm glad to hear it, of course. Its just – and now maybe I'm the one being paranoid – but I'm worried that maybe, since he hasn't already, he might try and poison you against me in the future. On your next date perhaps, or maybe in a few weeks or months, I don't know. I just want you to remember what he said to me, so if it ever comes up somewhere down the line you'll know where it came from. I don't want you to grow distant Kale, I care about you. You've chosen Ryan, great, I hope you'll be happy, but I still want to be your friend."

“Thanks, and I feel the same Marty. And, as for Ryan, I'll keep it in mind."

He nods again and I manage to maintain my composure in spite of my ever-lengthening trail of lies. The room descends into a silence that quickly overstays its welcome

Adrian is about done with his drink and Marty and I are finished with our joints. The otter appears more peaceful and in control of himself now than he has done since I told him about Ryan and I.

Even with all my lies and the occasional prod in the right direction I still feel far from finding the truth. There's nothing for it but to carry on with what Ryan and I decided yesterday. That means more lies. Bigger lies.

Adrian nudges me, breaking me free from my internal monologue. I turn to him. He mouths the words 'the move' and shrugs. He's thinking what I've been thinking. Truth is I don't feel good about any of this though. There's a real chance Marty is genuine and building the lies up on top of one another like this is going to hurt him when he finds out what I've been doing.

Fuck, I wish I wasn't ever part of this. I wish I never saw that cute bobbing husky tail in the club that night. I wish things were simpler. But, no. No matter how hard I wish I wasn't here and that I wasn't doing this, I am and I'm sure as hell going to see it through.

“Marty, there's something else I need to tell you."

His body tenses, the composure he had managed to claw back quickly faltering.

“Yeah? What is it?"

Tension drips from his every word and I feel a sharp cold run down my back to the tip of my tail. He isn't going to like this, not one bit.

“So, I talked a bunch with Ryan and... well..."

“Go on."

“He's, uh, he's going to move in with me," I rub the back of my neck and put up a cautious, wonky smile. “He was talking about the trouble you two had been having, how he thought it might help you both if you had some distance, so I offered my hospitality and we talked and, well, he accepted!"

“He what?" The otter's brow is creased and he wears a deep frown.

It's not really a question, he heard me, that part isn't in doubt, but by the look of him he's having trouble believing his ears. Then again I can't exactly balk at that, I'm not actually telling the truth after all.

It's probably better if I don't think about that too much.

“We're moving in together," I repeat plainly, forcing him to confront my claim.

“I can confirm it. The news surprised me too, I'll be honest," Adrian adds with a pat on my shoulder.

“But you and Ryan only just got together. I mean, past that, you've only known him for a total of, what? Two weeks?"

“Well," I throw my paws up in surrender. “It just felt right given everything." I pause for a moment, trying to decide on my phrasing, but Marty is back at it before I can continue.

“Not to, uh- I mean, what I'm trying to say is you're recently out of a job, Kale, and he only works part time. It doesn't seem like the most stable of arrangements. I don't mean to offend, I just- I just have some concerns."

“Sure, I get it. But there's no need to worry, I'm doing all I can to get back on my feet and I have enough money saved to last a little while. Plus, being able to split the rent two ways is a huge bonus for me. If we end up wanting to hunt for another place that's doable too. It's worth it on my end regardless."

“But it's not at all worth it for Ryan when you look at it like that. Right now he doesn't need to pay a dime, but living with you he'll need to take on more hours, maybe even work full time. How would he be able to focus on his acting? I know him, and that's not a lifestyle change he'd make lightly. I wouldn't think he'd want to rush into something like that."

I shrug.

“It's a complicated situation. Honestly I appreciate your concern, I'm sure he does too, but this is what Ryan wants. He's the one who suggested it in the first place actually and, yeah, he knows he'll have to work more, he knows it won't be like how it is with you."

Marty's gaze is hard and fierce as he stares directly into my eyes, searching them methodically. He shakes his head.

“It just doesn't make sense for him to do that. I get that he likes you, but to make such a big decision so quickly, one that makes a lot of things harder for him... It just doesn't add up. That's not the Ryan I know."

“Well, how do I put this? For all it makes things harder, he thinks it will make his life better to do something drastic and to, uh, create a little distance," I let my words drift off, trying not to over-explain myself. Marty gets the inference.

“You're saying he'd rather go through all that than continue living with me," his voice is low and glum and it harbors a distinct undercurrent of distaste.

“It's not quite like that," I say. He makes a dismissive sound and averts his eyes. “He thinks it will make things easier for the both of you if you have some space. He's hopeful it will give you both enough room to cool off and find yourselves and make a close, stable friendship blossom once again. It's not something he's doing out of disdain."

“And he'd really give up the time and commitment he had to acting just like that? It may seem like nothing to you but to us acting is, well, it's life itself," there's a reverence and wonderment to his tone that says more than his words ever could.

I believe him and I wonder what Ryan would be sacrificing if he actually does move out of Marty's place. A sudden sadness hits me.

It's not the time for that.

I shrug.

“I don't know what to tell you. He said he wants this. He said he can put acting in the backseat for a while as he figures out how to move forward with you, with his job, with everything. That's all I can really say."

“He hasn't talked to me about this at all. It's not like him, he would tell me to my face."

His repeated doubts are becoming difficult to handle.

“Maybe with all the tension between the two of you he doesn't feel as comfortable doing that as he used to, I don't know. I'm just the messenger," I say. I notice a slight tremor creeping into my tone that makes me want to cringe. Keep it together Kale.

Marty stares into my eyes once more, eerily silent. Seconds creep by and I can feel my heart beating hard. I can't quite explain why but I feel fear.

I slipped up, that minor hesitation in my voice...

We're getting close to something here. If Ryan was right my lies present a situation that destroys everything Marty was working towards. By choosing Ryan romantically, taking him away from Marty physically and standing strong against his influence and protestations I would have crumbled his plans completely. I match the otter's stare as best I can, fighting to avoid falling in the growing pit of anxiety inside me.

Marty taps his fingers rhythmically against the arms of his chair. Adrian looks at each of us in turn.

Marty's expression sours, he scowls and his eyes narrow. For a moment his teeth bare and a vicious glint flickers across his eyes. Is this it? Do I have him? Or did he catch my uncertainty? Is he about to break down and reveal himself? Or was Ryan wrong about everything?

He lifts a paw up and points at me.

“Why are you lying to me?"

I freeze. The pit of anxiety inside me expands and drops me into a momentary panic. I try not to give it away, but I'm too overwhelmed to trust myself to speak. I say and do nothing.

Adrian's wide eyes are trained on me, apparently waiting for me to make a move. His tail flicks.

I gather myself, at least enough to come up with some sort of stalling tactic. “I'm not, I-"

Marty cuts me off before I can say my piece.

“Come on Kale. I'm not an idiot."

I shake my head.

“Marty, where's all of this coming from? I'm just telling you what Ryan told me."

“Oh, I'm sure that part is true. He told you to lie to me didn't he?" He folds his arms and discharges a short, harsh laugh. I grip the couch as though it's about to try and eject me. “You know what? You're a better liar than I pegged you for Kale, you really had me going for a while there. But you are lying. I can read it on your face. It permeates your every movement. You're exuding it like a bad odor. And you too Adrian, though I suspect you're more here for moral support than anything. It's a skill I have, you know? Spotting liars. It's not hard for me. Lying is just acting, and you're not all that great at it sweetheart. The only person who's ever truly confounded me is Ryan and he's a true performer, every bit my equal. You, my dear friends are not. You're not in love with Ryan, you haven't picked him, and he certainly hasn't arranged to move in with you. All of it was a crafted deception." Suddenly he's pushing down on the arms of his chair, then he's standing up and over the two of us, glaring down, tail lashing. He's a different man in this moment than the Marty I thought I knew. He's not polite or accommodating or modest or cute. He's fucking intimidating. “But, the question remains, why are you lying to me?"

“I-I-" I stammer uselessly, caught entirely off guard. This isn't how I thought things would go, but even with my mind racing I can see that maybe this wasn't the worst outcome. Marty is upset, angry, certainly not at his most stable. His outburst and diminutive tone lend some credence to Ryan's theories, but in reality Marty is simply calling us out for the bullshit lies that we absolutely have been telling. He saw right through us and he didn't like what he found. I can't exactly begrudge him for that.

Marty waves a paw as though to silence me. I obey without really thinking. He dips his head and closes his eyes for a moment.

“Look, I'm sorry for my tone. This is coming out wrong. I just, I-" There's a sharp intake of breath and he opens his eyes. His mannerisms have changed all over again, he's transformed back into the Marty I've come to know. “I was going through enough already and now the two of you, who I thought I was growing close to, have come into my home and lied to my face. I know Ryan. He wouldn't do or say the things you tell me he's said and done. I know you're lying. I just hope you have a good reason, truly, I do. I don't want this, whatever this is, to ruin everything for us. I'm confused. I'm hurt. I- I just want to know what's happening. I want to know why you're lying."

Once again I'm left frozen, useless and silent, unsure how to take what I'm hearing or what exactly I should do.

“Kalie," Adrian says softly, nudging my leg. “There's no point in lying to him any more."

He wears a sad smile and his eyes posses a newly found tiredness. My muzzle sinks into a frown.

“What should I do?"

He shrugs.

“Tell him everything, as much as you want, or tell him nothing. It's up to you, but don't feed him more lies, there's no point."

I close my eyes and breathe in deep. Adrian's right. Marty read me. He read my nervousness and my lack of commitment and every moment's hesitation for exactly what it was. He knew I knew I was lying and he knew exactly what I was lying about, he even guessed correctly that this is all at Ryan's behest, all he doesn't know is the exact reasons behind it: the things Ryan told me that sparked this whole mess.

I could say nothing and leave, make this visit no more than a confusing and painful experience for all of us and let Ryan deal with the fallout. Yeah, that's not happening.

I could spill it all out, tell him everything Ryan told me and live with the consequences. That, or I could tell him just enough to move things forward and see what I can learn. Maybe I can still salvage this. I need to find the answers I was in search of or all of this was a colossal waste of time and effort resulting only in anger and pain.

“Okay," I begin, placing my paws calmly on my legs and letting the tension that had built up throughout my body leak out. Fuck, why does this all have to happen when my head's still fuzzy from the weed? Whatever, there's no use in complaining. “You're right. I was lying to you about Ryan moving in with me. I was lying about the two of us having gone exclusive. I'm sorry, truly. I didn't want to hurt you, and I was always going to let the truth be known before any real damage was done, but I did have a reason for all of this." Marty nods along, slowly taking his seat, his expression unreadable. “I did see Ryan yesterday, however, that wasn't a lie. And we did talk a lot, and a lot of it was about you. Now before you say it, I know you told me not to trust him explicitly and I kept that in mind, but Ryan was not in a good way. He was worried, scared even." Is telling him all this really the right thing to do? The answer barely matters. It's all I can do. “Ryan thinks your interest in me is fabricated, that you're bitter about the circumstances of your break-up with him and that you want to push me away from him. He thinks you're fucking with him - and me, but I digress – he thinks that you're doing all you can to manipulate him, that a lot of the things you've done and said since he first slept with me have been purposefully designed to do so. He thinks that you're playing with me to hurt him, to make him jealous. He thinks you're not over him and that, more than anything, you want him to be yours again. And only yours. But," I shrug. “At the same time, Ryan was scared that he may have been giving in to paranoia, that he might have created this whole narrative in his mind. I offered to help and make things clear for him. So, here I am. I said what I said to see how you'd react, to see if you would give away your malicious intent or, alternatively, mollify Ryan's concerns. You can see the thread of logic with my lies: if what you want more than anything is to be with Ryan then being torn apart from him suddenly would surely generate an intense reaction."

“And what, with all the lies and all that planning, have you learned?" He speaks very slowly, concentrating on delivering each word clearly, his tone bland and lifeless.

“Not enough."

He lets out a derisive laugh.

“You've made me your little test subject and yet I'm supposed to be the manipulative one in this scenario? Or then again maybe you're just Ryan's experiment. Who's really controlling who here?" He laughs again, then stands up, enters the kitchen and quickly returns with an open beer. He takes a gulp and laughs again, then his features darken. He exhales, shakes his head and narrows his eyes. “It hurts to hear this, all of this. It hurts a lot Kale. I really thought you cared about me. I care about you. So much." There's a tension to his tone and his voice quivers as he delivers the last words. My stomach turns and I feel a rush of destabilizing uncertainty. He takes another swig and wipes at his eyes with his free paw. He allows a few more seconds to collect himself before speaking again. I feel fucking awful. “You should have told me all of this at the start and given me a chance to speak for myself properly. How did you think this would turn out when - or from your perspective, if – it became clear I wasn't the monster Ryan made me out to be? Of course this was going to hurt me. Of course it was going to hurt what you and I had built. Do you care about that at all?"

“Marty, I-" I struggle to find words.

There's too much to take in. Have I really got it all wrong? Did I get fooled into today's approach by Ryan's complicated tale of manipulation and lies, by his urgency and apparent desperation. What if this was all his plan to turn me against Marty, or more so to simply make everything so tangled and torn as to push me away from the both of them? Is he everything he told me Marty was? That thought alone is disturbing.

Kale, stay calm. You need a level head. You need to think.

“Or did he really just convince you so thoroughly that your mind was already made up before you came here? Maybe you were so convinced by him that coming over and lying to me seemed about as good an option as any other."

“That's not fair." I swivel my head to find Adrian speaking up for me. He's still calm, still confident, even in the midst of all this. I envy him. “Kale's mind wasn't made up, I know as much. And he isn't the type to make a judgment without at least hearing both sides of a story. If you can really read us so easily you should know that already."

Marty breathes in deeply. “Okay, that's fair." He nods. “I was letting my emotions get the better of me, but if you were both so open minded, why come at me with the all the mystique and lies?"

“I wasn't there to see him myself, but from what I heard Ryan was not doing well at all. He was legitimately in fear over the effect he thought you were having on his life. That made Kale's search for truth urgent. Ryan and Kale discussed it and seemed to agree this approach would have the greatest chance to reveal the most about you and," with a flourish of his paw Adrian gestures toward Marty. “I'm inclined to agree."

The air goes still, the room quiet. Marty stares at Adrian, muzzle tight, muscles tensed.

“I get it. You still harbor suspicions about me," his eyes flicker over to me. “You both do. And from your perspective, Adrian, the pain you've brought me through your lies was worth this outburst of emotion from me. You're still gathering your evidence."

“When you phrase it like that you make it seem cruel."

“Isn't it?"

“Assuming you're innocent of all this, then you could make an argument for that I suppose, but sometimes people do bad things for good reasons. You keep talking about your pain, but what about Ryan's? Look, I don't want to make an enemy out of you, I'm not at a conclusion about all of this just yet, but this is a complicated situation and you protesting about how unfair it all is is one thing – and I'm sorry we hurt you, even given our reasons - but on it's own it's not evidence, it doesn't convince me that Ryan was wrong. You need to give us more than that."

Another stint of silence, another time I'm more thankful than I can express that Adrian is here with me. I don't want him to drift away after all this is done. I'm so scared he might. I don't want him to drift away ever. I...

I don't know.

“You have to understand, being put on trial like this isn't exactly easy on my psyche," Marty's focus drifts back toward me as he speaks. “But I'll tell you what I can. Ryan's been on a downward spiral since before the two of us broke up. It was becoming clear to me that he might say or do something stupid, as he apparently has, but I kept hoping he wouldn't ever sink so low.

“He became dissatisfied with this relationship, with me. He's allowed to feel that way of course, it's life, it happens, but he dragged things out. It felt like torture to me, watching him drift further and further away gradually, knowing deep down things weren't going to get better but hoping for it anyway. I should have realized what was happening sooner but," he shrugs and shakes his head. “By the time things ended between the two of us I frankly felt a little used. It's so clear now, but he must have been done with me at least a month before our relationship actually ended.

“I was trying to be better for him. I was doing what he asked, trying to save what we had, but it wasn't enough. All the problems he bought up were only distractions. The truth was," Marty grimaces and shakes his head. “He simply didn't want me, and he didn't have the guts to admit it. Instead he used you. I happened to walk in on you two fucking, he turned it into that farce of an argument and then he used you as a reason to leave me. I'm not saying it's your fault, or that Ryan is lying about his feelings for you, but it was shortly after he met you that he finally told me he was done with me, that he had found somebody better. Then he rubbed it in my face by bringing me to drinks with you two that evening. I don't know how much he told you about all this..."

“He went into detail," I say, nodding. “And honestly, everything you've said lines up with his account. He even admitted to lashing out at you through me."

“Yeah," Marty says after a sharp intake of breath. He looks to the floor and closes his eyes. I wonder whether I should speak up and push the conversation forward, but he finds more to say soon enough. “It worked. He hurt me. But the truth is, meeting the two of you helped me to see clearly. I had locked myself into this weird psychological loop believing that Ryan was the only person who could ever possibly make me happy, but spending time with you both, especially you Kale, talking to you that night, smoking, touching one another... Well, it gave me a new perspective. Since then I've been looking forward not backwards. I've moved on from Ryan and I was hoping to try things with you Kale, but I know, and always knew, there was a good chance you wouldn't be interested. And that's fine. I'm still looking to the future. Honestly, it's strange to say but my life and my whole outlook has hugely improved since I broke up with Ryan.

“Although, I could say that with more conviction if it weren't for what he's convinced you to do today. Ryan's always had an anxious, paranoid side to him, but in the days before and since our breakup it's only gotten worse. Considering what he said to you and how distressed he appeared, he sounds borderline delusional. I still care about him, and it saddens me to no end that our relationship has disintegrated so rapidly and drastically, but I won't stand back and let him tear my life apart.

“He's accused me of being manipulative, of having ulterior motives behind my actions since meeting you? On what basis? I can guess. Disjointed anecdotes, vague hints, a feeling. Sounds about right? That's what he does. Whether it's out of honest, paranoid fear or whether he says these things with his own motives in mind I don't know, but it scares me. He has always been the type to over-analyze and scour every conversation, every stray comment, every piece of information he comes across and find the oddities and exaggerate them into unreasonable proportions. Here's an example. You know I enjoy dabbling in certain substances from time to time, well for a long time he made made my use out to be some huge problem, when really it's always been safe and recreational. It's simply something I do for fun, usually when clubbing or partying. I wasn't addicted and I could afford it, obviously, it was just a small part of my life, but he vilified me for it. Even then, I stopped for him, I gave so much up for him, and still he left me." His own words seem to get to him. He wipes a paw across his face and sniffs. “He's hurt me, he's thrown around his accusations, fine, but I'm not going to do the same to him. I just wanted you to know my truth, and now I've told it.

“He's been making my life harder these past couple weeks, even completely aside from whatever this is. He's been distant and cold. He's done all he can to be out of the house as much as possible and when we are together he's mostly polite, sure, but he isn't kind or caring. He's pure ice. It's been draining me. Still, with all the bullshit, I continue to care about him." With that , he's done. He chugs the last of his beer and sets it down. Wiping his face once more.

I'm left with my scattered thoughts for a while. Marty's story is convincing. It fits perfectly parallel to what Ryan said, not contradicting the husky directly, but asserting his own timeline and perspective.

Ryan told me Marty was manipulating us, now I'm wondering seriously whether Marty is right that it may in fact be the other way around. Or, otherwise, perhaps both stories are as true as the other. Ryan admitted after all that he may be under the grip of intense anxiety, that this could all be a fantasy. It could just be that simple after all. A messy break-up between complicated people under complicated circumstances and it, and everything that has happened since, hit Ryan the wrong way, left him seeing enemies in the shadows. It's plausible. Maybe all that's needed to fix this is for the two of them to talk everything out, to be truly honest with one another. Maybe I was only so susceptible to Ryan's catastrophizing due to the recent stresses occurring in my own life. Looking purely at the events as told by the two of them, it makes complete sense.

I want to believe it, but it doesn't click with me. I want everything to be that simple, but accepting that as fact and moving on would be ignoring an important element of this whole thing. Perhaps the most important element.

People lie. All the time. To themselves, to each other. It's never been more clear to me than it has in the last few days. Finding the truth takes more than just listening to what people have to say. As Marty did to me only a few minutes ago, I need to read him. I need to go on feel, to utilize my emotions and Marty's, to use my understanding of him and his context and to analyze his tone and body language. There is so much more to communication than words. I can't ignore the sentient element. That which makes us more than machines. This isn't a matter of merely processing facts and chronology. There's more at play here.

I've thought a lot about myself, the world and my place in it over the last few days. My whole perspective on life has changed. Nothing's as simple as it used to be, and though that inevitably makes things difficult at times, I have to believe it's better this way. I can't ignore what I've learned.

“Okay, I hear you. I'm taking it all in, but I'm still wondering something. Despite the breakdown of your relationship and how bad it's been to live with him, you continue to do so. You financially support him and house him and everything, and as far as either of you have told me, nothing has been said between the two of you to indicate that this will be changing any time soon. What's that about?" I ask, impressed at my own composure and conduct considering the thundering vortex crashing through my mind, the mounting stress and the faintly lingering high.

“Like I said I still care about him. I'm not about to rip away support and housing from underneath him just because we're arguing or growing distant."

“That's not my point. Obviously I wouldn't expect you to kick him to the curb the moment you broke up, but it's been a couple weeks, things have only got worse and you haven't even talked about him going, or about what's next for him? That doesn't seem right."

“Like you said it's been a couple weeks. Only a couple of weeks. I don't think something like that needs to be rushed. We have time."

“Even when you aren't enjoying living with him? Even when, as you told me, you're serious about me and you could see a future with me?"

He lifts his paws up.

“What are you implying? What do you even want me to say? Sure, maybe I should have at least mentioned it by now, but it's a difficult topic okay? I haven't got around to it."

I nod slowly, thinking.

I've been going about this the wrong way. Assuming, just for a moment that Ryan really was right, that everything Marty has said and done has been elaborate cover for his own motives and intentions, I'm never going to find that out by simply hoping he'll slip up and say something provably contradictory. There will always at least be something he can say to cast a layer of doubt over my conclusions. It's pointless at this point to try and trip him up in that way. I have to use my own intuition. I have to see past the surface. If there is something to expose, I have to expose it through perception, understanding and emotional intelligence, not pure cold fact. Something is off here, I know it, and the truth is when I stop and really think about I already know exactly what that is.

“Okay, so you do want to him to move out and sort his own life out eventually."

“Of course, and honestly I'd prefer it to be sooner rather than later. I mean, I have the means so I'll help him financially for a while if he accepts the money, but yeah, at this point I'd rather him gone."

“Okay, Okay," I say. There's a stirring inside of me that's more made up of feeling than any distinct thought. “In that case, why were you so distressed when I told you earlier that Ryan was going to move in with me?"

“W-well," he stutters and pauses awkwardly. “I was surprised, and it didn't seem like the right fit given your professional situations. That's all."

“Maybe," I say. “And it definitely threw you off pretty hard when I told you he and I were a couple. I mean, you can say what you want, but you have to admit it seems like your feelings for him run more deeply than you're admitting."

“So you're going to make assumptions just because I was surprised?"

I wag a finger. “No, not just that. The times you've been most upset tonight have been when talking about or thinking about how your relationship with Ryan has disintegrated so thoroughly. Sure you were upset when you caught me out for my lies, but that could easily have had more to do with what it implies about Ryan than anything to do with me."

“Now wait-"

“Earlier you kept changing the subject whenever I brought him up. Plus, you keep on caring about him and doing all you can to stay close even after all he's done to hurt you and push you away. Even with what I revealed he said about you, you still by your own admission care about him so much that you want to financially support him even after he theoretically moves out. That he seems to think you're halfway crazy doesn't appear to factor into it."

“Kale's right. And it's your whole demeanor. It's like you said when you caught us out: it's the way you speak, the way you move. It changes when you talk about him," Adrian adds, backing me up.

“You managed to spin Ryan's admittance of worry and fear about you against him, clearly implicating him as the liar and manipulator, without explicitly stating it. I would say you're acting exactly how he described. Every word you say seems calculated, not to contradict what he told me, but to reframe it; to change what we though we knew and leave yourself as the undisputed innocent party." My heart is pounding, my head hurts, but I keep speaking. I keep going. Oh god I could be so wrong about all this, I have no tangible proof, but... No, I'm onto something. I can feel it. I know it. Deep inside. People don't always mean what they say. Maybe they don't often. People have more going on in their heads than they give away. Marty isn't telling the whole story. There's more to this. I know it. “You read us earlier. You figured out we were lying to you and you were right. Well, I've read you too, and you've been lying to us."

“No," he says shaking his head. “He's convinced you, Ryan's got you fooled, but none of it's true. I didn't do what he's saying I did. I'm not some fucking mastermind I'm just some otter trying to live my life, struggling to find direction."

“No," I say, firmly. “You're lying to me. Don't make this about something else. There is more going on here than you're admitting. It's not so simple as a paranoid husky and a victimized otter."

“No."

“You're lying to me. Now you can either admit that or we can walk off and warn Ryan."

“No," this time his voice cracks fully. He begins to cry. “I'm not lying to you. I'm not lying."

I feel conflicted. It's horrible watching him writhe, knowing I'm making him feel like this. I turn to Adrian, he appears uncertain, but catching my gaze his features gain focus and he nods firmly. He thinks this is the right call, or at least he trusts me. Thank fuck he's here.

“Just look at what's happening. What set you off just now to start crying? Ryan. Not me accusing you of all this, but the idea that we would tell Ryan about it."

“No! I'm crying because you're not listening to me. You're being cruel."

“No Marty, I don't believe that. I've never been able to phase you, not really. Only Ryan can do that. My accusations aren't making you feel like this, the idea of Ryan having his fears confirmed is."

“Kale, why are you trying so hard to hurt me?"

He's in so much pain. Real pain. I almost falter. I almost lose focus. I almost believe him, but...

I have to trust myself.

I've seen it. If I think back it's almost plain as day. It really is in the way he moves, the way he talks, how he holds himself. He can create a convincing character and lie to me about pretty much anything and I'd believe it, and in fact for a long while I did, but not about Ryan. Ryan has been a weak point for him this whole time. I should have seen it earlier. If I stopped and thought, if I trusted my instincts, maybe none of this would have happened. I know the truth.

“You're still in love with Ryan, Marty. There's no use hiding it."

“I'm not, I'm, I'm-"

“You still love him. You want to be with him. This is all a charade to you. Whether the specifics of what Ryan believed were true or not, his overarching idea was. No matter how hard he pushes away, no matter how difficult the situation, no matter how long it might take, you're doing everything you can to get him back. You will remove me from the equation by any means in order to achieve your goal. Pushing me away from the both of you by making things dramatic and complex or by highlighting Adrian's feelings toward me or by implicitly accusing Ryan of the same things he accused you of. Or, yeah, even removing me by dating me yourself, having what Ryan wanted and then discarding me further down the line no doubt with a confession of truer love for Ryan at the ready, or some shit like that. You're happy to play the long game but not to give him up. Not ever. I should have realized the truth the first date I went on with you, that premature, confusing admission of love. It was never real, it was a distraction, and I was there fueled and further confused by the weed and alcohol you knew you'd be able to plaster me with.

“Or maybe I should have figured it out when I came here on the weekend and you couldn't handle looking at that photo of the two of you together looking so happy. Or when we were fucking just as he came home. That was... You're in love with him Marty, it's obvious."

“It's not like that, I don't-"

“It's no use. I know now. All your scheming, all your obfuscation, it had a time limit. You're a good actor Marty, but when it comes to Ryan you fucking suck. You love him so damn much that you can't control your emotions when thinking or talking about him."

“I- I-"

“You've lied to me over and over and over about your feelings for me, your feelings for him, all of it. But now it's going to stop. I know your secret. Ryan will have it confirmed soon enough. You still love him. You still want him. And what's worse for you is that he doesn't want you back, and that when he knows what you've been doing, he'll never want you back again."

He goes from quiet, scattered sobs to full on bawling.

I have a final split second of doubt. I wonder if I'm entirely wrong, if I've been viciously ranting at Marty over something that is nothing more than a fabrication. I feel awful.

And then it passes.

I'm right. Every time I talk to him there have been these little clues. His mannerisms, his precise selection of words, the things he'd ask ever so innocently, the way he'd steer a conversation to his own benefit.

He was always keeping tabs on Ryan and making sure my expectations were managed, doing what he could as quietly as he could to sabotage our relationship. Ryan was right, when Marty had me vulnerable, as he was topping me at exactly the moment Ryan came home, that was no fucking coincidence. The look on Marty's face. I thought it was the coke high mixed with the joy of fucking, but no, it was something different. He was so damn happy his plan had worked out so perfectly. And then after that I left in a hurry. I forgot my phone. Or at least I thought I did. What if Marty really did hide it just to fuck with me, just to make everything more complicated? That single decision could have killed Adrian. An intense anger wells up in me.

If I was just a little smarter, a little more perceptive, a little less fucking gullible I would have seen it all earlier. Truth is if it wasn't for my life turning upside down in the last few days, making me rethink everything, he would have had me entirely fooled, even now. He is a great actor certainly, but Ryan truly is his weakness, and now his web of lies is unraveling.

Adrian taps my side in the midst of the dead air and flashes me a contorted frown. He's lost his conviction in the face of Marty's outburst of emotions and repeated denial. But he hasn't been around the otter as much as I have. He hasn't seen what I've seen. I am right. I know I am.

I nod at him firmly. He hesitates, then nods back.

“Your game is over, Marty. Admit the truth."

More sobbing and crying. He sniffs, wipes his eyes with his forearms and sniffs again. Finally he speaks up.

“I fucked up Kale. Real bad. I'm so fucking sorry. You're right, there's no point in lying any more. I have nothing to lose. You'll tell him what you'll tell him either way." He takes in a long, deep breath. “I love Ryan more than I've ever loved anything, more than I ever could love anything. I fucking need him. I was a selfish wreck before I met him, and now he's left me I'm a selfish wreck all over again. Without him I'm lost. And he fucking hates me. He fucking hates me."