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The snow leopard was a nice woman really, offering me this chance. I felt conflicted about everything, very lost and confused. This was a way I could be free of the war though, and I wanted that. I'd liked a few of the regular leopard soldiers, and I hadn't cared for it. Even with my blood boiling in the heat of the battle, my stomach had felt sick, my heart sicker still. Some wolves were vicious, but not me. I could fight, but I was far happier in peace.

I couldn't help but feel grateful to her, even though she'd butchered my hunting pack. It hadn't just been her, and I placed most of the blame back toward the stupid people running this war and demanding the need for more and more by conquest. I was now patched up, fed, rested, and with something of a future in mind. Of course, I was also sexually relieved.

It had felt strange to wake up to her stroking me. I hadn't trusted her, had feared and maybe even hated her a little, and then I woke up to her pleasuring me. It had been an awkward disconnect in my mind, and it'd left me feeling used, and guilty for having taken any pleasure from a woman who'd kill my own kind not so many hours before. She'd clearly regretted it, and then said she wouldn't touch me sexually again. And somehow, that hadn't felt right either. It troubled me the more time I spent with her because she was beautiful, honorable, strong, and capable. I was growing to like her, and want her.

She kept calling me 'dog' though, so that didn't seem to bode well. Besides which, our awkward conversation after she'd gotten both of us off coupled with my injuries and status as a prisoner had come together nicely to make me feel like a worthless, unwanted creature. I wasn't sure if she was really attracted to me, anyway, and figured she wasn't. It had been the smell of arousal, being stuck close to a man. She'd stroked me from behind, so maybe she'd been able to imagine I was someone she liked back in her village. I'd been a convenient tool for a short time, a whore just long enough to make her take pity on me and give me this chance.

I was worried her people would be furious. More than I feared them simply killing me outright, I worried they'd treat me as an untrustworthy outcast even if I managed to gain my independence. I worried I wouldn't belong. A sense of community was important to a wolf. So was finding a mate, and family. Life was very precious to wolves, but I wondered if a life cut off from everything else, not trusted to return to find a home among my own if I couldn't here, I wondered if it was a life worth living. I supposed I would just have to find out, and fight for a place among them. The trouble was, I was tired of fighting.

I followed the snow leopard out of our camp, my eyes on her ass and tail, the grace with which she moved in her worn, tight, white, grey, and blue clothing was astounding, provocative. Her people didn't consider me an adult, but I sure felt like one watching her walk. I wanted to do adult things to this cat. I reined myself in. If she didn't think of me as an adult, well, there was nothing for it. It seemed silly, though I thought maybe the wolfish standard of 15 being an adult was a bit too low. I hoped she saw me as an adult. I hoped she'd touch me again. Now that I knew her a little better, and had had time to process it, I wouldn't have minded her stroking me again, even if she would be thinking of someone else. I swallowed the thought. I wanted her to think about me though, to want me, it just seemed impossible given the entire situation and my utter lack of worth.

"How far is it?" I asked. I knew she was slowed down by me. Even patched up so nicely and feeling so much better than the day before I was moving slowly thanks to my injury.

"It will take us about four hours or so at this pace." She said looking back over her shoulder at me. Her eyes had a yellow color like I might expect to see from wolves. Her fur had much more white in it than I normally saw from her kind, her spots were slight, almost making her a match for my own white fur. "We could make better time, but I want to take the main route into the village. I don't want anyone to be startled, and it'll be easier on you. You've still got a lot of healing to do." She stopped suddenly and turned to me. "Do you have a name? I can keep calling you 'wolf' or 'dog' if you'd like, but a name would be nice."

I was oddly pleased she wanted to know my name, my ears even flushed a little. "Quazee. And you are?"

"Quazee?" She laughed a bit. "Wolves have such strange names. It's cute, though. I'm Eve, well, that's the short form of my name. We all have a short and a long name. You only give the long name to people you're very close to, family, lovers, friends whose life you've saved, or who have saved your life."

I blushed harder at her disapproval of my name. "Eve." I confirmed. "So, should I only give part of my name to people when I meet them? Like, 'Quaz' or 'Zee?' Do either of those sound more normal?" I was considering a name change. One less thing that would make me stand out.

She cocked her head to one side. "Zee is actually a name our people use, it's short for a few different things, but you shouldn't be embarrassed by your name. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. Your culture is very different from ours."

She looked at me for a moment and then stepped closer. "My full name Evetanilia." She bowed her head a bit. "I did save your life, after all. I could have killed you, so I suppose that makes us close."

I had gotten a strange thrill when she'd told me her real name, though it fell away when she explained why I got to know it. She was right of course, and I'd just given her my full name. And at least we were close in some way I guessed, enough to warrant full names. "It's very pretty, and long." I smiled at her. "I think I'll go by 'Zee' to people I'm not close to. In my culture, it's long names until you're friends with someone, then short names. So it's reversed. My sister calls me Quaz. I guess this way, it can still be special between she and I." I wondered why I was babbling to her about my sister and my emotional ties. Embarrassing.

She smiled a bit, a touch of sadness to it. "You sound like you're very close to your sister." Her eyes glanced back the way we'd come. "You can still go home, you know, Quazee, Zee. You won't die if you come with me, but it could be a very long time before you see your sister again. You might never see her again. The wolves won't meet with my people to talk. They killed the last messenger we sent, sent her head back all burned up. If you side with us, messages will be the most we can manage, and they'll be hard."

I gave it a moment of thought, but I was already shaking my head sadly. "I know, but you don't understand. You're a warrior, I don't think I was born to do that. I certainly wasn't born to be a war hero, but that's about the only thing that could protect me from being vilified and shunned by my own kind for my magic. From what I saw yesterday, it's only getting stronger, and no more manageable. My whole family would look bad if they stuck by me, and Quay especially would suffer because she's my twin. Maybe your kind won't ever accept me fully, but at least I won't drag everyone I care about down with me just for having magic. And there's a chance I could be happy with you all, right?" I tried for an optimistic smile, but it felt as damaged as the rest of me.

"You've a noble heart, Zee. Perhaps we will find a way for your to see your sister, and until then we will try and find a way for you to be happy amongst my people. We have a long history of distrusting and disliking wolves, but we are also taught that hatred poisons us against love, corrupts the spirit. Not everyone is going to be happy to see you, but you'll find most won't be outwardly hostile, and I believe, given time, they will open up to you." She reached out and squeezed my shoulder.

I nodded, not really knowing what else to say. I figured we'd just have to see.

When we were close to Eve's settlement we started to see leopards as we passed down the main road which wasn't all that wide, and wasn't paved as many of our main roads were. There were families out playing, though it looked like mostly fathers and kittens. As we drew closer and I could see smoke rising into the sky from the homes in the village, we started encountering even more children. This village was mostly unprotected apparently.

We were drawing quite close to the village when a little girl dashed up to me with a wooden knife and hit me in the leg. Not hard, but with a squeaky imitation of a vicious growl. "I got you, wolf!" She yelled before giggling. She looked up at Eve. "I got him!"

"Yes you did, little one, but it's not nice to hit people, especially if they're not playing." Eve said, reaching down and stroking the little one's head.

She looked up at me with wide eyes that were so light blue they looked like ice over deep water. "I'm sorry." She frowned a little. "Are you here to kill us?"

"No." I smiled at her and wagged my tail a little, trying to be friendly but not too friendly. I was sure the leopards wouldn't appreciate me being so close to a kitten, so I tried not to have much to do with her even though I found her adorable. I looked to Eve, a little mortified I'd do something wrong.

She gave me a smile. "This is Zee. He's a friend of mine and he doesn't want to hurt anyone."

"Wolves can be friends?" The little one asked, blue eyes wide and surprised.

"If you remove hate, anyone can be a friend." Eve said. "Go on, run and play." She then turned in my direction. "You can come out now, Yuu. I know you've been shadowing us. Zee is with me. He's Fa'Tep."

I was confused, but then a voice sounded behind me, close behind me. "You've made a dog Fa'Tep?" The gravely female voice said, a low growl in it. "Dangerous. Dangerous for you. When he betrays you, you'll die."

"He won't betray me." Eve answered. She nodded in the direction of the village. "You've sent word ahead to the council?"

"Of course. You brought a wolf to our home. I had to send warning. This is the heart of our land. If he . . . " She began, but Eve cut her off quickly.

"He won't. You know me, Yuu. I make my decisions carefully. He is worthy of Fa'Tep. Don't let your judgement be clouded by hate." Even said.

Yuu growled, but then she shrugged. "This is your burden. The council will want to see you both."

"Good, that's where we were headed." Eve said, and then she took my arm and led me onward. "She was following at a distance until the little one got close, but she came much closer then. You probably didn't notice, but when the little one hit you in the leg, her dagger was into the small of your back. If you'd reacted badly there, you might have died. Word will spread fast, though, that you're Fa'Tep. They will be less cautious of you, though certainly not exactly trusting either."

My ears flushed and I flattened them and shivered, disturbed and embarrassed by how inept I was. I could tell myself it was partially my injury still, and that was true, but it wasn't the half of it and I knew it. Had I known she was there though, I might have gotten myself killed. This was a bad start, and I found myself paranoid going forward, ears twitching and rotating, eyes looking for danger more than appreciating what I was seeing. It was all I could do not to run, but I'd promised I wouldn't, even though I didn't think Eve would bring me down as soon as I made the move anymore.

I was well trained. True, I wasn't very talented, but growing up the son of clan leaders meant that I'd received a lot of the best training I could get. It had probably saved my life when Eve and her companions had attacked, since I hadn't died in the first strike to my chest. But it was far and away apparent that I was no match for these women who appeared to be elite warriors for the leopards. Eve had a great amount of faith in her fellows, but among wolves, things were different. I was sure Yuu or some other disgruntled woman warrior would find the first chance to assassinate me and take it.

Eve and her people seemed very strict about honor, but I wasn't sure how far that would go. Wolves had honor, but it was believed you were best off breaking an oath in order to protect your young or save your own life. But here, on the weight of my word and Eve's, I was among the snow leopard's kittens. I was thought of as dangerous, but I was being allowed to walk unshackled. It was confusing and suspicious to me it was as though I could feel violence following me, waiting for the right moment because nothing else made sense.

We reached a large wooden building in the center of village without too much walking. It struck me that if this was their capital, it was tiny. This entire village would have easily fit a hundred times into one of the wolves smaller cities.

There was a male guard at the door. He looked me over, and Eve, then nodded and opened the door, letting us inside. Inside the building was a great, open hall with a large table in the center. There were ten snow leopards sitting around the table talking and when we entered they stood and gestured for us to take seats at the end of the table. Even led us forward and took a seat gesturing for me to do the same.

Once I'd sat the elders sat down as well, and they were elders. I could see the gray in their fur that was definitely distinguishable from white. There seven women and three men, all dressed in comfortable looking, flowing clothing.

"Eve, you have some explaining to do." One of the women said, gesturing at me. "This is unprecedented."

Eve nodded. "I'm aware of that, Elder Bev, but I did not make Zee Fa'Tep lightly. I can not lay judgement on all of his people, but he has shown me no aggression, and he says he does not wish to fight. I believe him, and I believe in him. That is why I have accepted him as Fa'Tep. Also, he is male, a wolf, and he is possessed of magic."

There was a general intake of breath, surprise evident on everyone's faces.

"Is this true, son?" One of the males asked me directly. "You can speak to the wind?"

If I hadn't already been nervous, I would have certainly been made to be at that. "Um." I said. "Well ..."

"Did he just tell you about this magic or did you see it?" An impatient woman asked Eve sharply.

"I saw it myself, but it has nothing to do with the wind. He can make ice from water." Eve answered. "He walked part of the way across an unfrozen pond, though it seems he hasn't mastered it well, but to be fair he probably has never been educated. We all know that wolves consider magic a vile sin."

"Are they teaching you magic now?" Another woman asked me, looking troubled. "If they're mastering magic, we have no hope at all. We can barely hold them back already."

"No, they're not. I was sent to war to either make a name for myself that would help balance the shame of having magic, or to die and not be a problem to my family any longer since I can't control it. It would happen at random, and it was only a matter of time before I caused something that couldn't be ignored." I explained, bolstered a little by my sympathy for the last concerned speaker.

"I'm sorry my people have put such huge importance on being successful conquerors. It makes us all out to be brutes, but not all of us are that way. It's a complicated political situation, but I can explain it at length some time if you want to know it. Suffice to say, the general warrior you'd face doesn't really want to be here. Only the few leaders of each Hunting Pack tend to get the glory of a fight, and those are your avid opponents." There was so much emphasis on strength and fighting ability. I made up for lack of talent by being strong and undergoing intensive training among my own kind, but not being an aggressive alpha personality type who didn't really want to be fighting at all had meant I had only been a very low ranking officer.

The concerned woman looked a little relieved, but still troubled. Another woman spoke up. "How do we know we can trust this boy?" She asked. "He's young and he's a wolf. They don't have a record of being honest with us."

"You can trust him because I trust him." Eve said. "He is Fa'Tep, his word is as good as mine. We haven't come here to dispute his word. He wants to share information with you. He wants a chance at a life he couldn't have amidst his own kind. He doesn't harbor a heart for war and fighting."

"So what, you will take mate from our people then?" A female with a slightly brown hue to her fur asked. "Do you think a cat will lie with a dog?"

I saw Eve's inner ears blush. "He will take nothing, but what he chooses to do with willing parties is none of your concern. This is the law of our people. Fa'Tep. Why would we change it because of who his parents are? I spoke of honor to him as we walked, of the ways of our people, and so far I am uncertain if we're meeting the degree of honor I'd spoken of. I've given Zee reason to trust in our system. Was I wrong?"

The woman who'd been concerned about my magic shook her head. "No, you're right. He is Fa'Tep, and we will trust him as such. Wolf or not, he is one of our people now and will remain so until he proves himself not worthy of the trust given to him."

There was a bit of grumbling for a moment, but then everyone was nodding in grudging agreement.

"How old are you, son?" One of the males asked, a different one than I'd been addressed by before.

"19 in a week and a few days." I said. "We're considered adults when we're 15 where I'm from." I wondered how much this was going to change the rules surrounding my treatment and what I could and couldn't do. Eve had said I was still a child to these people.

"Eve is too young to host a fosterling of that age." The brownish-furred woman said. "We should find him foster parents that will take care of him until he's twenty."

"He's a man by his people's standards." One of the males said. "I don't see why he can't stay where he wishes."

"His people are barbaric and violent." Elder Bev said. "We don't wish to fall into their ways. He's a child, and he should be protected."

"Amongst your people are you mated?" One of the females asked me directly. "That is the big question we're all dancing around here. We don't wish to despoil youth by putting you into a situation in which you might be exposed to things you are not ready for."

I gave them a perplexed expression. "Expose me to what?" I asked, honestly very confused, though as I thought about it I figured out it had something to do with mating. Among wolves though, there were a hundred ways to mate and half of those were permitted in public. As a wolf got older, he naturally started to see more of it simply because of where he was allowed to go and when he was allowed to be walking around outside his family's personal den. "I've killed people, I've watched my parents mate, and their seconds, and I've seen males mating males, females mating females, and a few other creative mixings. I myself am not mated though, because wolves have to prove themselves before we're allowed to seek an official mate for the purpose of offspring and my magical abilities certainly haven't helped me hurry through the process. Most male wolves don't even get the option to mate anyone with a family in mind until they're in their mid-twenties and pairing off for release is complicated with a lot of rules and things it'd take me forever to explain."

Eve's inner ears were dark red now and she'd laid them down a bit so it was less obvious.

"Well, it's clear we don't have anything to protect him from." One of the males said with a chuckle. "I say he be allowed to stay with Eve if that's his desire."

There was a general nod of consensus.

"We will provide you with foster parents if you wish, but if not you will stay with Eve as her charge. What would suit you best?" The brown female asked.

I looked around, and tried to give Eve an apologetic look since I'd somehow embarrassed her. "That'd suit me fine." I said. "I think it best I stay with Eve, I know she'll treat me fairly."

"Then it is done. You two may take your leave for now, but we will wish to speak with you again, Zee. We have much we wish to know about the wolves, and they have never been willing to talk to us." Bev said, and then we were dismissed.

Eve led us outside, letting out a sigh as we got outside again. "Thank you for not telling them . . . you know, about when I took advantage of you. Things would have gone badly for me." She started leading me down a small path towards some houses near the outskirts of town.

I sighed. "You were just exerting your control over me. Well, and you were aroused and wanted release. You had every right to use me and put me in my place." I said, though I had gotten the impression that wasn't the case among her people. And it was probably complicated by the fact that to her people I was technically still a child, though they seemed to have declared me an adult now, or something in between.

She stopped and turned to me. "I had no right to do any of that. I was aroused, and I wanted release, but I still took advantage of you and that was wrong. The fact that you're underage means that I would have been held accountable for assaulting someone not yet mature. The penalties are very steep. I may have been exiled, and perhaps I should be." She turned and started walking again.

"I'm not a child." I said, annoyed, though I continued to display signs of my submission to her with my tail tucked and my ears back. "Maybe if I'd grown up with your people I wouldn't be, but I grew up with the expectation that I could make my own decisions when I turned 15. It means I've grown up, that I had to. We're allowed a little leniency in our first couple of years, but I'm even beyond that, and leniency doesn't mean we're not allowed to participate in adult things, just that we're expected to make mistakes at first."

We reached a small house and she walked up to the porch and then pushed unlatched the door. It wasn't locked. She opened it and stepped inside. "I can accept that you're an adult, but what I did was still . . . well, it was rape. I'm sorry about what I did, and I'm very sorry if it made you feel like you worthless. You're not."

She gestured at the room we'd entered. There were some chairs, a couch, a small kitchen and then two rooms off of it. "This is my home. I don't normally spend much time here. I'll have the next two days to be with you by the laws of my people, and then I return to work so you'll have this place to yourself most of the time."

"It's lovely." I said, meaning it, but mostly still thinking about our conversation. "I think our people have different definitions of rape. We should probably talk about that sometime." I said, honestly concerned I'd hurt one of her people not understanding the rules. "You basically just told me that you were in charge, which you were. I feel useless for a lot of reasons, but if that effected my self worth it hasn't made a big dent compared to other things. I was still frightened and angry with you at the time, so it was a little confusing, but not much really, and now that I don't think you'll hurt me I wouldn't mind if you did it again." My ears flushed at that, because that ending had been more open than I'd even meant to be. But it wouldn't do to be closed up, she seemed to need to know how I felt about the whole thing, and I needed frank information of what was and wasn't alright to her people.

Her inner ears flushed pink. "Sexual congress without consent from both parties is rape amongst our people. Some might have argued that your arousal was consent, but those would be a minority. My position of control as your captor made it impossible for you to consent, as did your age, though that is apparently a cultural thing. I understand you're an adult, and I will treat you as such. I'm glad . . . I am relieved that I didn't hurt your self worth, but I don't think we should allow that to happen again, at least not until you're confident in your place here." She blushed again. "You might find someone here that you would prefer to do such things with, and that is fine."

She cleared her throat a bit. "The bathroom is through that door, and that is the bedroom. You may use it until we figure out a better situation. I will stay on the couch for now, and as I said, in a few days I'll be back to work, and then you won't see me for weeks at a time. Over the next few days I will try to help you understand our people as well as I can."

I nodded, though I felt myself sink a little. It wasn't that she'd said she didn't want to be with me, or even sleep near me, it was that her words now were coming kind of cold, clinical, a recitation of speech without meaning. It was a reminder that I had no family here, and no friends. I reminded myself that such things could change as I went in to investigate the bedroom and bathroom briefly, but it looked like Eve was determined to remain my transitional guide rather than any kind of close relation.

I sat down on the bed and thought about my parents, Quay, the counsel I'd just attended. I wondered why there were so many women warriors, elite warriors. I wondered if that meant they had a higher mortality rate. So then why would their counsel be made up of mostly women? Perhaps it was a society that favored women. Another point against me finding a place in it, probably. Among wolves men and women were fairly equal, but there were slightly fewer men than women at birth, meaning that a woman's life was far less disposable. There were few women soldiers, especially in the lower ranks, but their strength was prized too and if they were particularly good in war they could easily enter the ranks as elite soldiers or leaders. The idea was that the more trained a person was, the less likely they'd perish.

I itched at my chest wound beneath the bandages. It needed changing, so I went to the bathroom and started trying to do it myself. I wasn't quite ready to do a very good job at it, certainly not a pain free one, but I was loathe to ask for Eve's help. She didn't want to have much to do with me. Her intention had been to save me, and now that she had, she was disinterested in me emotionally. Her debt was paid for what she thought she'd done wrong to me. I trusted her not to hurt me, but that wasn't the same as being willing to seek out the comfort and intimacy of being cared for by her that packmates might share.

"You're going to hurt yourself." Her voice startled me. She moved quietly. All of her female warrior kind did. "Put your arms down. You're ripping the wound." She walked over to the tub and started it up. They had running water which was a bit surprising. Most of our common homes didn't have that luxury. "You should get undressed." She said, then a bit more soflty she added. "I won't hurt you again, so don't worry, but I need to get that wound well cleaned. I don't want you getting an infection."

I undressed carefully. "I don't know how to convince you that you personally have never hurt me." I said, and then climbed into the water slowly. I thought to force some expression of affection on her, and maybe she'd get it, but I couldn't. I was injured, and the lowest runt in the pack. She was far above me in rank as an elite warrior. She got to run the show, even if she was strangely hesitant and upset about having control and that was agitating to me. I couldn't just wrestle control from her, certainly not now with my standing being so low, but it was very confusing. I had an idea that maybe snow leopards weren't as concerned with who ranked above who, but it was hard to tell, I felt off balance and in need of place.

I sighed. "Thank you for helping me with my wound, and giving me a place to stay. All that. Everything." I offered her a small smile, trying again for a connection I guessed. I was such a weak little pup. That's what I felt like, begging for a place and kind contact, understanding. She didn't even want to sleep in the bed with me, and that was such an insult to me.

"You don't have to thank me. We are family now." She said, dipping a cloth into the warm water and gently dabbing at my wound. She frowned a bit. "This is deeper than I thought. When you're out of the bath I'd like to stitch it for you. It will help prevent scarring." She gave me a small smile. "Not that scars aren't fetching."

I smiled too, still confused but feeling better for her words. I wasn't sure how much I should resist the comfort of them. "We're family now." I said, probably sounding hopeful. I supposed that made her as close as a friendly packmate to her people? "I'll try very hard not to upset anyone, I really do want to belong." I offered, wanting her to know I'd protect the portion of her honor she'd tied in with me. Her hands were gentle, though the wound still stung a bit as she cleaned it. I appreciated that gentleness, it felt caring, kind. She was so beautiful, and elegant. I had more square features and hers were more gently sloped. She was close to me too, and I liked her scent. It seemed spicy, different. I tried thinking of other things to moment I caught myself becoming aroused, though my shaft had only just started to peek out a little.

She finished cleaning my wound and her eyes slipped down my body and her ears flushed a bit pink inside. "I should . . . probably go. I'll be just in the next room if you need me though. When it's time to get out, call for me. I don't want you to hurt yourself and pull that wound wide getting yourself out. I know you'll belong here Zee. You're a kind soul" With that she got up and slipped out of the room as quietly as she'd entered.

I sighed and relaxed back, enjoying the warm water. It was a rare luxury to me, and felt wonderful in my muscles that had been through so much as of late. Not to mention my head. It was probably best to just relax for a time, allow myself to heal. I could worry about Eve and all other possible relationships later, when I was feeling better and hopefully understood the roles. I hoped two days was enough time to learn them all.