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You have no idea how much this letter is costing me, but I don't want you to be heartbroken thinking I'm dead. I was taken in by the Snow Leopards, one lovely, wonderful woman in particular named Eve. She's my mate now, and since magic is cultivated and appreciated here, I think in time I'll be far happier here than I would have been at home. I love you, and I'm sorry if this means we never see each other again, but I hope that it also means you get to live a wonderful life without the fear of me being discovered for the magic I have.

There was very little space on the skin to write, but I crammed the most important of the hundreds of things I wanted to tell Quay about onto the page. I was dissatisfied with it, and the sight of it made me sad, but it was what it was. It felt like a closing to my life, a sad goodbye. It was with a heavy heart I gave it to the leopard scout who'd agreed to drop it for me. There was a quiet, small wolf den at the edge of the border with the pride lands. They were a peaceful, much ignored pack, considered people who lived on borrowed lands as they were often in dispute. I could imagine they suffered for keeping their home, but if they moved further into pack lands they'd have to answer to some warlord who'd take what they could from them, including healthy young men and women to fight. I wondered what those wolves were like, actually, if they'd be happier belonging to the snow leopards.

There had been a huge backlash when the snow leopards had discovered Eve and I were a mated pair. It wasn't anything official, but it was clear I'd taken a few steps backward socially and Eve had as well. It started when they saw my bite on her. I considered our marks on each other a matter of pride, and at first I thought it might be a cultural difference that they were so offended, but I was deeply saddened to realize it wasn't. Snow leopards marked each other the same way wolves did, it was only wrong because I was a wolf.

Noticing that allowed to see other areas where I was simply going to face problems where others didn't. I realized that while kittens were often left with family friends to be cared for by those not busy with other things for the day, I'd never been asked to watch any kittens. I wasn't at all sure that Eve and I could have kittens, so that was troubling. I wanted that sense of community, and pups were always a shared responsibility between pack members much as it was to the snow leopards. I wondered, if Eve and I could have children, how they'd be treated. If I could trust them to be treated fairly by other parents.

I realized, even as the letter assuring Quay I'd be happier here because I wouldn't be shunned as a magic user, that I might very well suffer many of the same effects for being a wolf among felines. It made me feel like I didn't have a community I belonged to at all. I did have a place though, a small, wonderful home with Eve.

We were learning a lot more about each other now, all the time. We worked well together in the kitchen. I think the adjustment to sleeping together was harder on her than myself, but it quickly became a pleasant activity. I refused to knot her again until she was healed from the last time, but we made love often and I did knot her again not too much later. I was weak to her insistence that she wanted it. Weak when it came to her in general. Some of that was the way our relationship had began, she'd established dominance immediately, but mostly it was just because I couldn't help but want very badly for her to have everything it was in my power to give her that she wanted. That second part was no doubt spurred partly by how little I had to offer, and the cost being with me had put on her.

I set out to please Eve and myself first, but to my surprise, my dedication to Eve won me several friends. It seemed only women had the magic of these people, wind magic, and so women became the elite warriors and scouts, all the jobs that required them to leave the villages and fight. They still bore children, and their higher rate of death made them all the more precious and beloved for their sacrifices. These people had seemed to have gotten it into their heads that wolves were brutes to their wives, mean and prone to raping them. Seeing me treat Eve with so much deference and consideration went a long way to making me seem more like them, like a man they could trust.

I started to build us a larger home. This was something I was actually good at back home. If I hadn't had my shameful magic, I might have been a builder and quietly made a peaceful little life for myself. I had to take notes from the Snow Leopards though on including running water. As I spoke with the builders, mostly men, I developed friends among them and we each learned from the other. I learned about plumbing, but when I asked off hand why they didn't reinforce their structures in a certain way that my people found effective, I was surprised to learn that they hadn't thought to do it that way. They ended up helping me build Eve and I's home in return for seeing how we might mesh together wolf styles of building with their own.

I hadn't mentioned babies to Eve, but I was quietly building a nursery against my better judgement. I was hopeful. Once I'd gotten over the hurdle of deciding to do it, things got intricate. There were cute, adventurous hiding holes and interesting quirks I built into the nursery, remembering the way Quay and I in particular had played. Wolves put a lot of stock on play for young pups. We'd had a kind of fort in our bedroom, and I'd recreated that in a more subtle, mysterious way in this nursery. There was a window seat for example, good for reading, but it was also a tunnel if they could find the secret doors in and out of it, and the passage behind the tunnel that led through the wall into the bottom shelf of their built in book shelves across the room.

I was working on the window seat, waiting excitedly to show Eve when she got home how soft the seat was going to be. Everything had been coming together so fast, and while she'd been away so much had happened. It always seemed that way when she was gone. I was lonely without her, missing physical contact, and the intense time we got to spend learning about one another. But I also tried harder to do things in the community in her absences, both to good and ill effect on my standing with the Snow Leopards. I'd also started trying to train my magic ability with limited effect. It seemed I couldn't do fine, delicate work with it, but grand gestures were doable. The man named Dae had started coming to visit, letting me near his kittens, letting me play with them, though he still didn't ask me to watch them for him. He was the husband of one of the women in Eve's former Leap, and he wasn't sure what his wife would think of him making friends with me, but he seemed determined to think the best of me.

Even, after much discussion with the council, had been given a new job. She was put in charge of scouting and managing scouts in the area directly around the village. She didn't have to fight anymore, not unless it was urgent, but she was able to help make sure everyone was secure. She was good at her new job, but she spent quite a bit of the first few weeks running around trying to get things in order. Her people hadn't really focused much on running scouts around their own capital, but she'd convinced everyone it was important with the wolves getting closer to their border.

It was late when Eve finally came walking down the path towards our home. She looked tired, but she smiled as she saw me, her tail flicking excitedly in her wake.

"Love!" She said as she saw me. "How was your day?"

I pulled her to me and nuzzled into her before taking her inside. "I've built a window seat in the room attached to ours." I hadn't yet referred to it as a nursery out loud. "I bought the furs and everything for the seat. My tail was wagging happily. "How was your day? You look tired. I put some food on the stove." I offered. I wasn't a fantastic cook, but I was getting a little better by necessity.

"It was long, but I think we've about got the patrol routes set now, and a good schedule to keep everyone in order. Things should level out." She smiled at me and nuzzled against me. "I've always loved those window seats. I'd like to see it. I'm sorry I haven't been around more to help with things. We really should have some more time now that most of the organization is out of the way."

I nodded. "It's alright, it's important. I might have waited until you could help but I wanted to do this for us." I told her. "Thanks to you, we have everything we need and the people are protected, but I wanted to do something nice for us. The builders are talking about bringing me in to help construct other structures, maybe even a few fortifications." I said, happy to have news of a possible job, a place in their society for myself. "And my magic is coming along nicely, kind of." My ears flushed. "I still can't do anything intricate, little. I try to freeze a small bowl of water and end up freezing up half the little lake I'm near at the same time."

She laughed. "Well, you're learning. We don't learn to hear the wind over night. It took me years to master control, and sometimes it can still get away from me if I'm not careful, especially little fine uses. Now, are you going to show me this new window, maybe make love to me in front of it?" She winked at me playfully.

I grinned and scooped her up, heading for the upstairs. On the way I nibbled at her neck, nipping at her skin and growling low. "What do you think of the house so far?" I asked, and tugged on her ear with my teeth. It was a little juvenile to do so, playful.

She laughed and nipped my neck sharply. "It's beautiful. You've done amazing work. It's such a strange mix of our styles and yours. I think there are going to be a lot of envious people in the village." Her fingers dug into my fur and scratched lovingly at my neck. "You're so skilled."

I chuckled. "But we both know where my talent really lies." I joked, sliding a hand up her thigh as we reached the right room. I set her down on the window seat and kissed her, sending my wide, long tongue into her mouth before I slipped down her body and started sliding my tongue through her folds. "Oh naughty kitty, already wet for me." I teased and tugged her tail a little.

"Mmm, you have that effect one me." She purred, reaching down and grabbing my head to pull my mouth against her sex more firmly. "That tongue of yours . . . " Her purr got louder, she was looking around the room as I went down on her and she froze for a moment. "This room . . . this looks like it would be a very nice place to raise kittens." She said, then gasped as I hit someplace particularly nice.

I sat back, pulling her from the seat into my lap and nuzzling her chest. "That was kind of the idea." I said softly, looking up at her with interested eyes. "My siblings and I, we had a playroom like this with the only exit through our parents' room. We played hard there, and sometimes slept there."

She smiled down at me, her eyes full of affection. She stroked my head as her sex pulsed gently before me, after shocks from the attention of my tongue. "I'll be in heat next week, you know. We could try for kittens if you wanted. I'd like to. I don't know if it's possible for us . . . but I want to try."

I grinned and wagged my tail, making a swishing sound across the ground behind me. "I want to try. If you think we're stable enough, socially, financial." I said, ears rotating around and tail settling in my doubt and worry. As a wolf, I hadn't expected to mate so soon, and males we're usually very well established by the time they started a family.

"I do quite well, and your skills will see to it that you do also. We have everything we need to start a family. We'll be fine." She assured me. "I'm ready to do this with you, Quazee. I love you, my sweet wolf."

I shifted her in my lap so my shaft was throbbing against her sex. "I love you too." I growled, grinning at her.

She reached down between us and stroked my length, rubbing my tip over her entrance. "I bet you all the girls are envious of my big, wolf cock." She grinned playfully at me. "I don't think I could ever be happy without it. Give it to me, love." She reached up the hand not on my shaft and tucked at my hips, pulling me towards her entrance.

I wrapped my arms around her, one below her ass and the other at the center of her back. I pulled her squarely over my shaft and lowered her onto my throbbing length. I made her move slowly down it, relishing the way she felt like hot, wet silk. I let my growl roll out against her neck. When I was finally resting all the way inside her I adjusted my hold and began to lift and lower her.

She gave a distinctive feline growl that was, I noticed, particular to her arousal. "Oh, Zee, you're so good." She panted, nuzzled against me. "Aren't you glad you didn't give this up after that first time?" She choked between breaths. "I thought you might for a bit." Her insides clenched at me and she slipped her arms around my back to hold onto me firmly.

I chuckled against her. "I'm never giving you up." I told her firmly, and then I bit down on her shoulder even as I kept lifting and lowering her onto myself. I groaned into her fur and flesh. My hands switched to be holding her ass as I manipulated her body to my wishes, opening her to my penetration of her further.

"Oh, yes!" She gasped as I made this adjustment. Her insides clenched on me. "I'm going to cum for you." She almost purred the words, the sound interrupted by the thrust of my body into hers at a regular interval. "It's so good."

I released her shoulder. "Do it." I growled, licking first her shoulder and then running my tongue over one if her breasts and across a nipple. My shaft was throbbing, my breathing quick and rough. I wanted her to release and the thought of it almost sent me into climax.

"Yes, yes, my love." Her claws sank into my back and her sheath began to milk me. She opened her bright yellow eyes and looked directly into mine, deeply, as she came around me. Her purr was jerky and sporadic as her body sucked mine, trying to get me off.

I gasped and then moaned, keeping my eyes on hers as I gave in to her body's demand. My knot slammed into the outside of her sex and I growled, thrusting up harder and pulled her downward into it.

She gave a little gasp of pain as I first popped in, and then an excited shudder as I began to pour out within her sheath. "Oh, Zee, I never get tired of that feeling." She gave a sultry, dark laugh and then licked my muzzle. Her insides were throbbing roughly around me in the aftermath of what must have been a strong orgasm. She pressed her forehead into my neck. "I love you."

"I love you too." I said softly, with as much of my heart as I could put into the words.

It was then that we heard a intense pounding on the door downstairs. My ears jumped up and I looked at Eve, amused but also concerned. We'd be stuck like this for the better part of an hour, so this was perfectly horrid timing.

She growled, looking agitated. "Well, I'm not sure what to do about this." She said. Then she laughed. "This is the first time I've considered this to be a possible problem. What do you wolves do when this happens?"

"We call out that we're knotted and to come back later our speak through the door to us if it's overly important. If it's urgent, we can force ourselves apart after twenty minutes or so but I hear it's very unpleasant." I offered, doubting that her people would understand if we called out that we we're knotted.

The knocking came again, and then a voice. "Hey! Ali has carried in another wolf from his patrol! If you can hear me, she's injured, at the healers, I'm going to look for you elsewhere!" The female voice rang through the house.

I jerked and looked at Eve in confusion. "Half an hour and then we'll pull apart. I think we've made some strides with your people, but I'm still afraid without the protection you offered me there might be some over there advocating she be killed even while injured and possibly helpless." I wondered what wolf had come up here. Females could be soldiers, but it was more rare. If she'd been a soldier though, I thought this mystery wolf might have simply been killed. Unless perhaps she was pregnant? That was one of the snow leopard's rules, not to kill pregnant women.

"We'll be there as quickly as I can!" Eve shouted. "I'm . . . I have . . . well, I need about a half an hour, believe me I'd come now if I could. Don't let anyone hurt the wolf." She called, then looked back at me. "Well, there are more unpleasant ways to have to wait for something." She joked, but I could see she looked concerned.

I groomed her while we each thought about this development for a several minutes, licking where I'd bitten her shoulder and all over her where I could reach. I liked the way she involuntarily clenched around me when my tongue slipped over her nipples, or at a particular point just under and behind her ears. She had so many sensitive places.

"What can we do for a strange, injured wolf that's been brought in?" I finally asked, wanting to know our options.

She sighed, her sex gently throbbing around me. Her breathing was getting a little heated as well. She was easily brought back to peak once I'd had her there before. She took a deep, steadying breath. "I suppose that depends on her. I can't take her as Fa'Tep. You haven't cleared out of that status yet, and they won't let me take another, and you certainly can't take her, but we could still speak on her behalf. The fact that they brought her in means that she's either too young to be killed, or pregnant." She growled a bit. "Maybe my people are softening to yours a little, though. Maybe they just didn't want to hurt her because she was helpless? That would certainly be a change of heart. We can meet with her, see what she wants to do. We'll have to decide from there."

I was quiet a little while longer, but I let up on the grooming so she could think more clearly. Finally though, I decided it was time to separate. I shifted and pulled, trying to be as gentle on both of us as I could be, but finally there was an uncomfortable sucking sound as I finally got free of her. I grunted in agitation and we started to get dressed. Thankfully the swelling had gone down almost to normal by the time I was buckling up my pants.

We ran into several whispering people on our way to the healer's home, and finally Dae ran up and kept pace with us.

"She's calling for someone she calls Quaz?" Dae said, and I nearly fell over myself.

Then I ran faster. "What happened?! How was she found?"

Dae huffed, trying to keep up. "She was wandering around. Ali stumbled on her, and then kept his eye on her making sure she didn't get too close. She did. He didn't think she was much of a threat really, and didn't know what to do, but then another scout crossed their path and shot her with an arrow before our scouts knew of each other. Ali decided to bring her back."

I was working hard to suppress a dangerous growl. It had to be Quay, and Terry it couldn't be, and I was furious that she'd be hurt, that I'd have to hear people debate her fate like she was cattle. I hadn't cared when it was me, I'd had little worth anywhere at the time. If she stayed she'd face all the discrimination, all the pranks and inconsiderate behaviors I'd had to put up with and learn by.

Eve was hot on my heals. "Is this your sister? She uses the name your sister used for you, does anyone else know it?" She said, sounding anxious, worried. "If it's your sister we'll make sure she's safe. I won't let anything . . .well, anything else, happen to her."

"It could be someone else, but they said she was white, and no one else should know anything about where I am except my family. I'm not even sure Quay would share the letter I sent her with them and that's the only way anyone else of my family could be here searching for me. Anyone not in my family wouldn't know where I am, or that I'm alive, and they wouldn't call me by such a familiar name." I said, walking myself through the possibilities even as I spoke of them. "I think it has to be her." I whispered.

As we approached the healer's place there was a small collection of leopards standing outside talking amongst themselves. They had a range of different emotions, some clearly angry, others worried, but most just seemed curious.

"This is your fault." One male shot angrily at Eve as we came in range. "You brought one, and now they're all showing up.

Even snorted. "This probably is my fault, indirectly at least, but what does it matter if we take in one more wolf? Zee has been nothing but helpful."

"Well, that's yet to be seen." The man growled.

"No, it's not. He's already saved part of the town from flooding and improved our building methods. Get out of the way." Eve snarled, and they backed down. People hadn't forgotten that she was a Spirit Walker. That made her dangerous.

"Poor girl was whimpering and crying all the way in." Another man said, coming to see us. "She didn't look at all threatening. Looked young. I hope you two can help her. If you need someone to stand with you, you can call on me. I'm Tar, Zee saved my wife and baby from being washed away in the flood."

"Thanks, Tar." Even told him, squeezing his shoulder before we went further in. It wasn't long and we were opening the door and stepping inside. Guards had been positioned outside, and they were keeping most people away, but they let us through without hassling us at all. The first thing we saw was a scout with a bow in front of her. She was kneeling next to the bed, and as we came in she stood up and looked at us both.

"I'm so sorry! I saw a wolf and feared the worst. She was almost at our gates when I fired." The woman wrinkled her nose, looking honestly upset.

"It's alright, we'll talk about this later." Eve said, and then we were at the bedside.

Quay was laying on her stomach, the arrow wound being treated in her side closer to her back than her front. It was for the best. She both couldn't claw and snap at anyone very easily, and she didn't feel like her vulnerable stomach was in danger of getting torn open. Even so, she was breathing in great, shuddering heaves of panicked breath. Her eyes jumped to me, but she was so afraid and in the throes of her pain that it took her several moments to recognize me.

She had undergone training, but hadn't filled that up with the rigors of being a soldier. She'd settled in the past couple of years into studying art. As a woman, which were slightly less common at birth than men, she didn't have to fight quite so hard and in such brutish pursuits to guarantee a mate. It gave her a younger appearance compared to my bulky figure, even though she was my twin. She'd also never killed anyone, never fought in a battle, and her face was gentler for it. It hurt me to see her sweet face twisted in so much panic and pain. I wanted to do something, attack something that would make this better, but I knew that there was nothing to be done by violence now.

"Quazee!" She gasped, tail flicking in a little wag.

I swallowed hard. "You shouldn't have come, Quay." I whispered, picking up her hand and kissing it, then I stroked her head between her ears, trying to calm her, and the hand I'd released pawed around until she found my arm to grip.

She smiled wolfishly at me, though it was strained. "You're my twin." She said, as though it explained everything.

Eve knelt down at my side, her eyes going over where we were touching, but I saw her make an effort to shrug off what looked like a spark of jealousy. It occurred to me that the cats didn't touch like wolves did.

"The arrow looks low. It's mostly through muscle. I think you're going to be alright." Eve said, giving my sister an uncertain smile. "Zee has talked about you at great length. He has missed you." She clearly didn't want to take away from the moment.

"When you're done speaking to her," A man in clean red clothing said. "I need to get that arrow out of her. Yes it's a survivable wound, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't take care of it quickly." His voice was gruff and matter-of-fact, but there was compassion in his eyes.

I sighed as Quay's grip tightened on me. She was shivering with shock, but the tremors seemed to be dissipating. She'd probably been given something for that and the pain, and they were starting to kick in. "Can I stay? Should I? Do you need help holding her down?" I said, trying to hit the correct question and not wanting to leave my sister there. She was holding onto me so tightly, I knew she was terrified.

"Yeah, you can stay. It's better if she has someone she trusts here, and I'm fairly certain that's not us. I've given her an anesthetic, but I don't understand your physiology enough to give her anything too strong. I don't want to kill her. I have to push the arrow out through her front because it will cause far more damage if we pull it back. It's most of the way there already, but it's going to be quite painful for her." He looked at me with some sympathy.

"Eve, since you're here you can help hold her down. We'll make this as quick as we can." The doctor knelt down next to my sister and put a hand on her arm, getting her attention. "Did you hear all of that, child?" He asked, the term a familiarity that the cats used for anyone younger than them. It was like saying "dear" or "sweetie," it was supposed to be comforting.

Quay gave him a look like he was crazy. She was 19, just as I was, and that made her an adult by our standards. Well and away an adult. But she was afraid and in pain, so she let it go. "I heard." She said, trying not to growl. Her hand on my arm tightened, and she gripped the table she was on with the other, bracing herself and allowing the doctor to shift her and then instruct Eve on where to hold her. As Eve's hold settled under her Quay growled softly, not liking feeling pinned, and then she slowly pushed the growl down and away.

"Alright, here we go." The doctor said, and then he moved quickly and the arrow inside of Quay burst out the front of her, along with a good deal of blood, far more than seemed right for such a wound.

"Shit!" The doctor yelled. I knew that couldn't be a good sign.

Quay screamed predictably, and then her eyes flashed down at the blood and back up to me, panic clear in her face as I was sure it was on mine. She was in peril because of me, because I'd written her a letter in the hopes it would make my disappearance easier for her. Instead, I'd quite possibly traded her heartbreak for her life.