FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

_ Part 4 _

I decided to skip our usual post-match ritual long before the final whistle. Usually, I'd have been only too happy to help celebrate a win at the pub with my teammates, especially against a team flying high in the league. Not that day. Not with ribs that painful, and not with a performance to match.

Awful as I felt, my day wasn't completely ruined by the time I drove away from the park. I'd been hoping, begging for my ribs to settle down enough to let me head out with Sam later that afternoon, as we'd planned days before. Not a chance. The journey back to my apartment was uncomfortable enough, with every bump, stop and sharp turn stabbing deep into my chest.

My mood crashed so far, so hard, that I damn near broke down in tears as I pulled into my apartment building's parking area. With this much pain coming at me from every angle, not even offering the space to be able to breathe right, the only place I wanted to be was holed up at home on my couch.

"Maybe we can play a game," Sam suggested, peering off past the coffee table, eyeing up my Playmaster console from his chair on the left arm of the couch. "How about some Eternal Light? We've still gotta finish clearing Northcliff Castle. Get your fox dude his shiny new broadsword."

"Maybe later," I put back, barely pushing the words from my muzzle. I got no answer in reply. No complaint from me.

Careful as I tried to be, shifting back in my seat, I couldn't stop from grunting hard and biting down on my lip. Whether it be from moving, leaning, or simply from taking a deeper breath, this fucking pain refused point-blank to quit.

Sam watched me throughout, those little ears never making it higher than half-folded. For reasons... reasons I wasn't sure of, I decided against acknowledging him. Instead, I grabbed my injured left side and shifted away, half moving, half flopping to settle my head down against the opposite arm of the couch.

The living room went silent. Gave space for all those thoughts racing around my head to join forces and work towards deafening me. The window offered me some respite, presenting a pleasant view of the clear evening descending on my neighbours, and the city beyond... A city full of people, most of whom were likely out having a great time someplace.

"Okay." I heard Sam shuffling around for something. "If a game doesn't sound good, then how about we think about getting some food in." I put two plus two together to assume that four equalled him grabbing his phone. "We can do noodles... pizza... something else, if you've got anything in mind?"

"Huh... hmm." I scratched an itch from the bridge of my muzzle. The temptation to leave my paw there to hide behind came on strong. "Not really."

"Wow. Did I hear that right?" I could practically hear his smirk, and the mocking wave of his tail. Hide away it was. "I can't believe_you're_ not interested in food. You must be hurting."

Usually, I could've relied on the near-instant formulation of a comeback to grab and throw back, but right then, I had nothing but the lazy huff that still tested my tender chest.

"Come on, 'panda. Try not to be too upset. I know you're in pain, and that you wanted to go out... but hey, we can still have a fun evening right here."

My teeth set firmer and firmer. Gods, Sam... why couldn't you just stop?

"And, y'know, I know you missed out on heading to the pub with your friends after the game, but you'll get other chances to hangout with 'em. Lukas and Damian seem like cool dudes, and they won't mind--"

"Hey!" All that pain in my chest and tension in my jaw slammed together and hurtled towards Sam. "Damian isn't my friend."

Peering past my stomach, I saw how I'd knocked him back in his seat. "Okay."

"Okay."

He scratched at his headfur, muzzle twisting with distaste. "The way you talk about him, you act like he's a prick or something."

"Maybe he is."

"I didn't see anything to suggest that today."

"Oh no?" I struggled to sit up further, kicking at the arm supporting Sam and his chair.

"Careful--"

"You met him for what? Two minutes before the game?"

"I guess." He steadied the drink he had set on his little table. "So what's he done? Why's he such a bad guy?"

"Because..." I watched him watch me, perking an ear in my direction. My tail lashed at the back of the couch. "Just because."

"Huh..."

"Why 'huh'?"

"Because from what I saw, I think he likes you."

"Good for him."

"Marek. You really don't play the edgy loner type well, y'know that, right?"

"I don't?"

"No."

"Well now. Here's Sam, ladies and gentlemen. Vodaskal's unparalleled expert on people."

"I'm jokin--"

"Anyone else you know every intimate detail of? How about Sandor? Or Kaspar?"

"I don't know who those dudes are--"

"My neighbour maybe?"

"Look," he snapped. "Don't... be a dick."

"Then stop trying to make me feel better. You can't!"

"Fine then!" He batted a paw my way, scowling. "Have it your way."

Sam snatched up his phone. I slumped back down on the couch, angry, cursing him in my own head. You little... Don't talk to me like that, you... My jaw tightened again, but this time, my ears folded too. Gods, listen to me. Thinking those sorts of things. My chest felt awful, but somehow, it got even worse. Cold cutting deep into my heart while my eyes warmed and watered. None of what happened was Sam's doing. I shouldn't have been putting this on him. Fuck, what a mess I'd made. Of the day, and of myself. Pushing my little 'panda away would be the bitter icing on a shitty cake.

I swallowed, sniffed, wiped my eyes and shifted to get a good look at him on the arm beyond my feet. "Sam?"

His ear perked, but his muzzle stayed fixed on his phone.

"Sam... I'm sorry. That was really mean of me."

Down went that ear, relaxing. His cute little red and white tail began to swish. It gave him away long before he peered up to smile. "It's okay."

"No, it's not."

"Hey." He leaned up out of his armchair, reached down to rub at the ball of my footpaw pressing at the couch arm. "You've had a rough day."

"Maybe, but..." I started to sit up. Perfect time for a reminder. "Ooh!"

"Careful!"

I grabbed my side, groaning, sucking in air, then growling even louder with how hard an excruciating second wave struck. "Fuck!"

"Stop. Relax." I felt him jump down onto my shin, then watched him hop down again to the couch. "Are you okay?"

"This pain just won't stop." I took a breath. Slow and steady. "Everytime I move."

"Poor 'panda." He pressed at my thigh, balancing over the divot my weight put into the cushions. "Listen. Did you hear, or feel a crack or a pop when it happened?"

"No... I don't think so." As difficult and unpleasant as it was, I tried to remember the moment of the tackle, watching him shuffle his way towards my side. "It was just... a blast of pain all over my chest. I couldn't breathe."

"You were winded."

"Obviously."

Sam snorted, making it to where my tail had draped down to the floor. "It's more than likely that you've bruised some ribs." He let himself go, flopping into a squeezing hug against the side of my hip. "You should really stay sitting upright. Not lie down like you were a minute ago."

"And to sleep? What then?"

"Sleep's okay." Little ripples rolled through my belly from his nuzzling. More came from him slap at it. "Obviously."

I huffed, derailed halfway by the cringe of my discomfort.

"Hey." His pawwork got softer. "Take it easy."

"All I did was breathe."

"I know, just... If you're still struggling like this tomorrow, you should think about taking some time off work."

"I can't do that."

"Why?"

"I've only just finished my probation period. Plus, I'm not sick."

"Yeah, but you're hurt. I've got half a mind to tell you to go get yourself checked out."

"Gods, it's not that bad."

"Probably not... but still, you need to take care. See how you get on."

"Fine." My tail whipped up at the underside of the coffee table.

"Besides, surely that's the point of a probation period? You're done. You're good. Take some sick days."

I grunted, keeping it small and not stabby. The cue for Sam to squeeze me tighter... Not that I minded.

"Come on, big 'panda. I know you're hurting, and I know you're unhappy..." He bent down, slipping a paw under my shirt to scritch directly at my hip. "...but let's get some food ordered. Maybe play a game. How does that sound?"

His paw worked deeper and deeper into my fur, warming both it and me. My tail settled to the floor, matching the gentler swing of his. "Alright... I suppose I do need to get that new sword."

Sam was convincing, I had to give him that. After everything I'd been through thus far, when it came to ordering in, I found absolutely no issue in treating myself to a double-sized portion of creamy coconut curry noodles to dig into. Anything that might help cheer me up came more than welcome.

Of course, Sam went for some sweet and spicy stir-fried veggies and rice; the healthier option, as usual. Regardless, with our order placed, what the two of us both had was a great session playing Eternal Light together. Rushing around through dingy castle halls, negotiating crumbling ramparts, hacking through Demonbloods and Nightguards with impunity before taking on Boudreis the Forsaken and his sinister magics... It was almost enough fun to forget all about the pain in my chest.

The doorbell rang, jolting me, and Sam too by extension, reclining as he was in his seat there in my lap. I hit pause, shifting both to help my 'panda down to the couch and push myself up to my feet. Too bad for the second, even bigger jolt that brought with it.

"Damn it!" I flopped back into the couch, making extra sure to hold Sam secure against my stomach in the process. "Is there _anything_I can do without these fucking ribs causing me pain?"

"Hey, calm down," Sam sang sweetly, patting at me. "I'll go get it. You stay sitting."

"I still-- ugh." I grabbed my side again, wincing as the tightness came and went. "I need to help you down."

"You don't." Sam squeezed out of my grasp, defiant, hopping out of my lap. "Just relax."

I watched him bounce from the drop to the cushion; a drop almost as high as he stood tall. Unfazed, he raced to the edge of the couch, grabbing two huge clumps of my tail fur.

"Sam?" I crept forward, saving my ribs as best I could. "Careful--"

"I got this." In one fluid motion, he jumped and swung himself around, climbing down my tail like it was a wide, fluffy rope. "See?"

"I wish you wouldn't do that."

"Why?" He made record time down to the floor, shooting me a grin. "I'm getting good, don't ya think?"

"Yeah... But I'd prefer it if you used the lift from the arm."

"Too slow."

"Better than falling twice your height if you lose your grip."

"Yes, Ma." I groaned. He giggled. A second ring of the bell had him dashing around the coffee table, calling, "Coming!"

Sam's little legs made good time across the living room, soon rounding the divider wall and disappearing into the hallway. A few seconds later, he'd checked, or at least hopefully checked the front camera before buzzing my regular-sized front door open. Either way, I made sure to keep my ears well-perked.

"Hey, how're you?"

"Hey, man," came the reply. He sounded real young. "Uhh, you want me to set this down right here?"

"Actually... could you do me a favour please?" Oh no. "Could you bring it into the front room, right around here?"

"Sure."

"Thanks." Sam's small steps started to skitter across the wood, soon overtaken by larger, slower ones. "My boyfriend would help, but he's kinda out of commission for the moment."

"Oh... Yeah, it's no problem."

Another groan from me, a paw to my brow. Being made to sound helpless wasn't all that fun, but his heart was in the right place.

"Hey... big man." The delivery leopard looked awfully sheepish as he rounded the corner. Maybe I'd groaned louder than I thought... or maybe I just looked that pissed off.

"On the coffee table's fine," Sam called, jogging to stop himself from falling too far behind. "Thanks."

The guy obliged, setting the bag down before turning to my 'panda. "I got this as payment on delivery?"

"Yeah." Sam came back my way, leaping and grabbing onto my hanging tail. Almost as fast as he'd dropped, he yanked and scrambled up my fur, making it back onto the cushion beside me. "That's right."

I started to shift forward, working out the best way to painlessly grab my wallet from the coffee table. A couple of taps on the side of my thigh stopped me.

"It's okay," Sam said, rummaging through his own wallet.

"Sure?"

"Yeah." The leopard reached down, offering a small, ring-mounted reader for him to tap his card to. "My treat."

I kept my eye on the delivery guy, leaning over the table as he was. Okay, this might well have been an acceptable way of doing business in cases like this; home deliveries that involved mixed-size situations... but that didn't stop me feeling uncomfortable from having some random guy standing in my apartment. Needs must on this occasion, I suppose.

The reader beeped. The guy backed away. "Thanks very much. Enjoy."

"Thank you, too," Sam replied.

My attention stayed on the leopard all the way across the living room, both ears firmly perked once he slipped back behind the divider wall. His steps reached the door... a couple more took him out into the communal hall... a heavy clunk followed by silence finally allowed me to relax. We were alone again.

"What's up?"

"Hmm?" I glanced down to find curious eyes watching back.

"You look ready to rush off someplace."

"Oh."

"Heh, probably best you don't with those ribs of yours." He rubbed my thigh, leaning in to nose at my hip. "C'mon. Let's eat."

As much help as Sam had been getting the delivery right here in front of us, it was on me to grab my own carton and hand him his own smaller version. Happily, I managed without too much discomfort.

We both dug in deep, managing a few contented grunts and groans between us. Hot, super rich coconut curry noodles... It'd been weeks since I'd ordered myself some in, and it was a real effort not to stuff bigger and bigger spoonfuls into my muzzle. The guiltiest of pleasures, maybe save for a huge, greasy, fully loaded pizza... but something felt off. I scooped myself up another helping, shoved it in my mouth and let it linger on my tongue for those extra few seconds. Something... just wasn't quite 'right'.

"This is so good," Sam muttered, wiping and licking away some sauce from his chin.

I nodded, digging and shifting my fork through what I had left of my dinner. Maybe it was fine... maybe I just couldn't get past this mood to allow myself enjoy it.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I rallied back. Almost a natural response by this point in the evening. A defence mechanism. It won me some peace for the time being... Helped by the heap of spiced veggies he'd filled his mouth with. "Why?"

His ears dipped back. A slow chew and heavy gulp freed him to explain, "You didn't seem to enjoy playing with me just now."

I didn't? "It was... fine-- I mean, I did."

"Okay." He stared down at his dinner, scratching his cheek. "You were quiet then. Kinda quiet now, too."

"Because I'm eating." I tried and failed to take the sniping out of my response. Instead, I fell back on forcing a smile and patting my gut. "Because you know how much I like that."

"Right." Sam smirked, but it faded fast. His head hung further.

As hard as I found it to cope with... everything, and as much as the pressure was building deep in my chest, I couldn't leave him this way. "It's my ribs. My ribs are bothering me--"

"I get that, but is that really everything?"

"Yeah."

"Because, you know you can talk to me. Right?"

"I know."

"So tell me what's up."

"Sam!" Again, I jolted my little panda hard, almost making him toss rice all over the cushion. "Please. Drop it."

"Okay... Fine."

Back came the peace. Neither that nor my yelling helped ease my tension. Leaning forward, eyeing up more of my noodles, the sharp twinge that sent me recoiling certainly didn't help, either. "Gah!"

"Careful!" Sam pressed at my leg. "Take it easy."

I squeezed my eyes shut. More pressure built between them.

"Hey." He stroked me, firmer and firmer. Then came his nose, nuzzling at my side again, followed by both arms pressing into my hip. "I'm sure those ribs are just bruised. You'll be okay.

Sam was trying so hard, but all he succeeded in doing was heightening the pressure, splaying my ears and sending my tail sweeping and curling around me. I didn't deserve him, and he didn't deserve how mean and unpleasant I'd been. Biting back at every nice thing he'd said, for a reason I didn't even know.

"Marek?"

I sniffed, then whined from the aggravation to my ribs. I felt useless. Like the whole world was toppling down on me. I caved. My eyes started to warm all over again.

"Oh, big 'panda." Sam shoved at my side, almost sinking into me. "Don't cry, please. What's wrong? What's happened?"

"Everything," I squealed, cracking and breaking through a torrent of tears. A torrent that I just couldn't wipe away, or stop from raining down on my little 'panda as I turned to him again.

"Like?"

"My ribs, and..."

Effortless, he clambered up my thigh, climbing into my lap to sit and to lean into my stomach, peering up at me with the utmost kindness. "And?"

"Today," I choked out. "The game."

"What?" he replied through a scoff. "Marek, you played well today. You guys won, and--"

"The fact you're saying I played well, without me saying _why_I was upset about the game, tells me you're just saying that to be nice."

Sam blinked, one ear perked, one drooping, looking as goofy as I'd ever seen him. "The fact you're crying is kinda helping me to think you didn't... think that."

"Nice parapraxis there."

"Because I know what one of those is, clearly." He snorted, leaning and cuddling even deeper into my gut, nosing about level with my navel. "I. Think. You. Played well."

"Glad one of us does."

"Listen to me. Those were some huge dudes you were facing up against today. None of you on the front line looked like you had an easy ride."

"Damian did."

"No, he didn't."

"No?"

"I just said that, didn't I?" He shoved me with everything he had, sending a notable slosh through my stomach that soon bounced back to overfill his waiting, appreciative arms. "He got all kinds of knocked around by that badger you had in your pocket during the first half."

"Pfft."

"What?"

"He played better than I did." I sniffed hard, sighing, wiping the slowing tears to stop Sam looking so wavy. "Kept the ball better and missed a lot less passes."

"I didn't notice."

"You're a bad liar."

"Never mind him, I'm talking about you." Sam hopped and heaved himself up towards the crest of my belly. "_You_did well."

I shook my head, peering away... but feeling my little 'panda scramble, trying to find a footing to climb further, I had to lend a paw.

"Don't believe me?" He folded his arms, staring, riding his way up towards my muzzle. "What about how well you tackled today? How dangerous you looked when running with the ball? It took two, sometimes three of their dudes just to bring you down."

"Yeah... mayb--"

"Three dudes, hon." He rubbed up at my chin, grinning while I slid and settled him into the fur beneath my shirt collar. "All that combined effort needed, just to stop my huge, rampaging 'panda."

Sam stole a snort out of me. Wiping my eyes again, I couldn't deny he had me feeling... marginally brighter. "I suppose the question I have to ask is whether a certain somebody was getting turned on while watching all that unfold?"

"Well..." He sprawled out, sinking into the cream-coloured chestruff he'd got to call his own. "I had to be careful, what with how many people I had sitting around me..." His tail swayed under my shirt, claws tickling my skin. "But watching you crash through a bunch of big dudes like they weren't even there, butt swaying, belly bouncing... Can you blame me for finding that pretty hot?"

My ears flicked hard and fast. Sam's too. He pushed himself upwards, licked at my chin, then went the whole way and began to kiss. His little paw tugged at a whisker, beckoning me to move my mouth down within range. He kissed again, longer. I returned the favour, fizzing with the sensation of his cute muzzle pressing between my lips to find my tongue. Gods, Sam was such a good kisser. Not once had his affections ever failed to lift me.

"Seriously." He patted at my nose. "You did well today."

"I--"

"Your running was great." Another pat, then a grin. "And that tackle you made at the start of the game? Urf! I thought I felt the ground move." He chuckled, sending me his own pleasing vibrations as we locked lips again. "Mhmm... No-one else on that field was hitting as hard as you in the tackle. Not even that badger that put you out of the game."

"I..." Sam left me panting. Breathless. His taste and scent had my mind muddled... and my blood flowing down towards my crotch. "I, uh, don't think I was subbed off because of an injury."

"It played a part. You were down for a while, y'know?" Another kiss, partnered by a slow, nursing stroke at the side of my muzzle. "I saw your coaches. They knew you were hurt before you even made it back up. Pointing to their ribs and all. I think that happening helped them make up their minds over which of you on the forward line to take off."

"Maybe..." I lost the urge to argue. Instead, I cupped his whole rear in my palm and pulled my 'panda in for an even deeper kiss.

"Wow," Sam gasped, breath trembling.

"Good?"

"Fantastic, big 'panda." Sam bumped his nose to mine, pressing his hips so close to my chest that I could feel precisely how much he was enjoying this. "And by the way, that badger? That was a nasty tackle he put you down with. I don't know rushball, but I'm damn sure he wasn't going for the ball alone. Fucker."

"It happens..." Even with the heat between us, the unbreakable bond our gazes formed, I couldn't fully stop from trying to chide myself. "I'm more pissed about the mistake I made to draw that tackle in the first place."

"Mistake?"

"Yeah." Sam blinked, jaw hovering open. "I was closer to the middle of the pitch than I realised. So, I went left looking for Lukas, not right, where he was."

"Oh wow," he called, scoffing, smirking, head shaking. "What an _awful_error that is. Unforgivable, even!"

"It is when you're being tasked with playing fast--"

"You know, I saw plenty of errors out there from everyone." Sam batted me on the nose, following in with a lick. "No-one's perfect, so stop beating yourself up... You're already a little tender as it is."

I snorted, cuddling him closer to my chest and neck. Talking about all this, baring all... suddenly didn't feel so wrong.

"Y'know..." Sam paused. I noticed his happy ears start to dip. "Before you picked yourself up, I was kinda scared."

"Scared?"

"That you were hurt. Really hurt. The noise that tackle made, and the time you were down for..."

"I was okay. Just... dazed, I think."

"I didn't know that at the time," he complained, flopping closer to me. "You might be a big, strong, rushball 'panda... but you're_my_ rushball 'panda."

"Aww." I nosed between his ears, unable to miss how my own were starting to splay. "Shame that I don't feel much like one right now."

"What, a red panda?"

"No," I threw back, huffing hard enough to send his headfur fluttering. "A rushball one."

"Why? Because of one awful tackle that put you down?"

"Not that... or not just that."

"Then what?"

My fur started to prickle. Even with how right being this open with Sam felt... easy, it certainly wasn't. The bubbling in my stomach returned; an unwelcome souvenir of today's pre-match preparations.

"You can tell me," he whispered, closing his eyes, squeezing at my neck with his tightest hug yet. "You can always tell me. Please. I'm all ears."

The fizzing remained... but at least I had Sam here, too. I swallowed, clearing the dry foundations of a lump in my throat. "It's more than just today's game... Honestly, I've not had a great season at all. I've made at least one big error per game, and I've struggled so, so fucking hard with my ball handling throughout."

"And yet, you've been playing."

"Thanks to Damian's injury, sure!" He kept on staring with his pretty... and challenging blue eyes. "I've essentially been playing by default, since there's no other real option to play right-side tackle in the squad."

"That's crap, big 'panda."

"Huh?"

"If you've been playing as terrible as you're trying to make things sound, your coach would've found some kind of alternative."

"Oh, you think?"

"I know."

"How?"

"Because the same shit went down back in high school."

"Right," I replied, masking my growl with a fake groan drawn from my momentarily settled ribs. "Your handball team."

"Yeah." He lit up. I had a hard time following his lead. "One time, we had a big problem with fielding someone on the left wing. Our first choice was too sick to play, and our reserve was out injured. Managed to twist an ankle jumping off the school bus, if you can believe that."

"Okay." I started to get tense, ribs aching with each failed attempt to shift and ease myself.

"So, our coach decided to try one of our backs there. A bigger dude, but fast and with good hands--"

"Sam!" He trembled in my paw, saved from falling all the way off of my belly shelf by its grasp. "This isn't your damn school handball team, okay!?"

"Fuck!" A hard, nose-bending push at my muzzletip spun his back to me. "Fine!"

Gods... where did that come from, Marek? All that closeness, that contentment growing between us. Gone in a single flash of anger. Stupid, stupid'panda. "I-I'm sorry. I really didn't mean--"

"You keep shouting at me and saying 'sorry' for it," Sam shot back. "But that doesn't make it okay."

"I know..." I couldn't blame him for being upset, and now I was upset about getting him that way. Stroking his stomach, I hoped, might help make up for it. If not that, then maybe a firm cuddle closer to my chest. "It's just... you..."

He leaned around my muzzle, looking up over his shoulder at me. "Me, what?"

"...Ahh, never mind."

His gaze intensified into a glare, piercing. I shrank back, dreading what was to come. A full-blown argument would've topped my day off perfectly. So then, how relieved was I when my 'panda sighed, shifting and shuffling to fully face me again.

"Okay... It's okay." One paw petted the top of my nose, the other rubbed sweet circles over the side of my muzzle. "Listen, all I was _trying_to say was that if you were as bad as you seem to think you are, you wouldn't be getting anywhere near that pitch."

"I'm not so sure..."

"Why not?"

"It's just that... I really hoped things were going to work out better this time. Not be such a struggle."

"I'm sorry, hon, but I'm really not following."

I loosened my grasp, but Sam just held me tighter. Whether he knew it or not, he was digging and driving deeper and deeper, talking almost directly to that voice that so frequently rose to disturb my rhythm come game day. I'd tried so hard and so often to silence it... but maybe my little 'panda might fare better.

"My last team here in Koprovice, before I moved for that job in Kosilny... I didn't have a great time. It started fine, I trained well, and I even managed to get a good run as a starter... but then the mistakes came. More and more often..." I scoffed, shaking my head. Sam's grasp never faltered. "It was like a bad joke. The more I was aware of the mistakes I was making, dropped balls, bad passes, the more often I made them. In the end, I must have gone... almost two months without getting a game. Honestly, if I didn't have to quit when I did, I'm sure I would have been cut from the squad completely."

"I understand." He smiled, scooting and climbing his way along the side of my muzzle, until he was cuddled up against my cheek. "I'm not gonna go all 'high school handball' on ya, but... I've been there. Handball, rushball, and a whole lot of other things: they're as much mental as they are physical."

"Yes, coach," I said with a snort, getting a nice, long nuzzle from my 'panda. "I know you're right... I just felt so much better about things this time around. I got myself to the gym more often, did more than just weights and got myself fitter, and I had a good preseason to boot. I got myself to a good level, in a team and a division that I was sure I could play well in... but I suppose not."

"Marek--"

"Today was the worst game yet."

"Big 'pand--"

"Sure, maybe my tackling and running were okay, but my handing..." I flopped back, forcing the couch to catch me and my stupor. "Damn."

"Hey." Sam pushed at my cheek, tail swinging and batting my fingers. "You're not listening. It's nothing to do with your ability." He pulled himself up by my fur, prodding at my temple. "It's all up here. You're trying to be perfect, and that's just not possible, not even for a pro. It's okay to make mistakes."

"Yeah, bu--"

"Remember." In a show of agility, my little 'panda kicked away from my paw, using the bridge of my muzzle to vault over and land perfectly in a seat atop it. "This was just one, supposed, bad game. People have bad games, bad days all the time, and if you do get dropped to the bench after you recover, then--"

"Wait, recover?"

"Yeah..." He scooted forward, pressing a paw to my brow. "If you've bruised your ribs, you're gonna be out of action for a few weeks at least."

"Weeks!?"

"You didn't really think you could play in your condition, did ya?"

"I figured I'd be... okay by next week."

"Aww..." Sam's little paw started to wander, offering a pleasingly gentle caress. "Even big 'pandas need time to heal." He planted a kiss to the fur between my eyes. "And they also need a doctor's checkup if the pain gets worse, or you start coughing stuff up."

"Yes, Ma," I said with a smirk.

"Oh, is it Ma now? I was 'coach' before?"

"If the shoe fits."

He batted me on the brow, tail sweeping back and forth between either side of my muzzle. "Like I was saying, when you're recovered, if you are stuck on the bench, there's no reason why you won't be called upon to step up in the future. Be it to replace someone, or offer something nobody else can..."

We were well on our way towards heading in circles with our conversation... but I really didn't mind it. Sam, he was one for offering advice without anyone actually asking for it, but right then... I realised I really needed to have him here to sound off of.

"Thanks, hon." I reached up to my snout to start rubbing his back. "And I know... I know you're right, but... This really was the first team where I truly felt good enough, and it sucks, and it was embarrassing how much I struggled today, having all eyes on me when I screwed up, especially in front of you. Not to mention it coinciding with Damian coming back into the squad, waiting in the wings for me to fuck it up, let everyone down, and take my place in the team--"

"Woah, woah, woah, slow it down." Sam reached back to squeeze at my finger. "How many times do I have to tell you? You would not be on that team if your coach didn't think you were up to it." He tugged my finger closer, throwing an arm over to hug it around him. "And you definitely haven't let anyone down... Did nerves get the better of you today? Was it because I was there?"

I wanted to look away... but how, when I had Sam riding on my muzzle like that? "Iunno."

"You said you were embarrassed."

There wasn't an escape from this, even after I gathered him up in my paws and brought him back down to his place atop my stomach, sinking into my chestruff. "It might have been that."

"Why? Why in the world would you feel embarrassed?"

"I suppose I wanted to impress you." My ears folded down to my head. At that moment, I felt even smaller than Sam. "Show you what I could do."

"You don't need to impress me, hon." His kiss at the bottom of my lip stopped me shrinking away any further. "I already think you're pretty great, and I honestly loved watching you play today. In fact, I'd love watching regardless of how good you are. Just as long as you're wearing that tight shirt and those shorts... gods, those shorts. I can't even begin to tell you how amazing your butt looked in those things."

"Really?" I pressed him into my chest, enjoying the vibrations from his grunting, and the poking of his growing excitement. "It must have been hard... sitting so far away."

He giggled. "Yes, and yes."

I chuckled along with him, slowly scritching his back and butt while his hips slowly ground against my chest. "Horny little 'panda."

"Heh... always."

My smile stretched enough for me to feel it, but still, I had a sigh to give. "I don't know."

"What don't you know?" Sam muffled into my fur.

"You're really good, you know?"

"You're pretty amazing as well, big 'pan--"

"No, I mean... at sports and whatnot." His grinding stopped. "You played handball for your school, then ran track for the university... and me? Your so-called 'big rushball 'panda' can't even hack an amateur league full of guys playing with hangovers and blown out knees."

"Hey now." I felt him move, climbing to peer up past my muzzle. "I'm not trying to make you feel bad when I talk or mention about all of that. Sure, I did a lot of sports and other related stuff at school, but... that was what I was good at. Let me tell you, I didn't have a fun time studying a lot of the more... uh... the brainy subjects?"

"Academic?" "Yeah!" He patted me on the nose. "See? You're the wordy one out of us."

"Maybe."

"But hell, it wasn't even just those academic ones. Marek, you're a big, fancy engineer and clever as fuck. Meanwhile back at high school...!"

"Sam, you don't--"

"Ah! Here's an example for ya! One time, in electronics class, I screwed up so badly that I literally seared my final project to hell, broke a fucking soldering iron, and ended up in the medical room to get treated for my burnt paw!"

"...How did you do all of that with just a soldering iron?"

"That's what everyone else asked me!"

I couldn't stop from smiling, then grinning. Nor could I stop a snicker that put one almighty pout on Sam's muzzle. "That sounds just like my goofy 'panda."

"Heh... Well I'm glad my teenage misfortunes are helping you feel better." Through the faux-outrage, he still had a warming kiss for me. "You do enjoy playing rushball, though? Having fun with your friends, that's the main thing after all, right?"

"I do... I just wish that I was better with my hands."

"I've seen what you can do with your hands, big 'panda." He stroked under my chin, grinning. "They're pretty amazing."

"Not like that!"

"Heh." Sam collapsed forward, hugging my muzzle. "Sorry."

That did help to lift my spirits at least. I helped to cling him even tighter to me. "It's... I hate failing. I hate not being good at something. With language, or engineering, you can always study more, harder. Force yourself to get better. In my experience at least."

"Well, wishing and hating alone won't cut it. And sure, you might not be able to 'study' your skills better in this case, but you can work, work, and work some more out on the training field." His paw reached down, delving into my fur to stroke at my pec. "Similar to how you must have to get all this muscle you're packing, and just like you are with me on the treadmill to get yourself fitter."

I sighed, nosing at his ear. "Sam, have you just turned twenty-three, or... sixty-three?"

"What?"

"Coming out with all this advice... sounding like a sage of sorts."

"Fitness and athletics are my skill set." He smirked up at me. "Only fair I do right by my boyfriend when it comes to them."

My ears rose and flicked. Sam's too. "It's appreciated."

"Either way, whatever happens, you're always gonna be my big, unstoppable rushball 'panda. And I'll always be your biggest fan, no matter if you make... fifty passes a game, or none at all."

My ears warmed, spreading down into my cheeks, then my chest, quickly flooding through my body in its entirety. I melted away, closed my eyes and simply basked in blissful contentment, wrapping both paws around my little 'panda and holding him as close as I possibly could. The groan I gave out, joyful and jubilant, matched the one Sam pressed into my neck, his arms scrabbling to find a way to cling to, to support even more of me. Gods, how lucky was I? This here, it was perfection. The whole of everything I could have ever wanted.

My eyes eased open, still heavy from the weight of everything my 'panda had to offer me. The long sweeps of my tail continued unabated. That is, until I cast my eyes upon the cartons on the coffee table. "Uh..."

"What's up?"

"I think our dinner's probably cold by now."

"Ah." I felt him shift. Now only partially clinging to me. "We can always throw it in the microwave quick... I'll have to leave that to you, unfortunately."

"Heh, it's fine." I tipped my head his way, snuggling him into my fur again. "You've done more than enough for me already this evening."

"It's nothing." Sam's paw found the top of my nose, pulling him up to share another wonderful kiss with me. "I'm gonna stay the night, hon."

"Don't you have work in the morning?"

"Screw work. I'll worry about that tomorrow." He rose higher, allowing me to see his wide, heart-fluttering smile. "I don't want to leave you when you're feeling down, never mind hurting like you are."

"You've already helped, really..." I ran a claw down his back, leading into a playful twirl of his tail. "I hope you're not using my sadness as an excuse to get smothered."

"Tsk." He trembled from my attention, rubbing my muzzle. "I suppose I _was_hoping I might end up taking a big, sexy 'panda to the face."

"Knew it."

"But... aside from all that. You've had such a tough day. I wanna be here to help you through the rest of it."

"That sounds good." That warming glow from before came back twice over. The perk of my ears spread to Sam. My cheek-aching smile, too. "Thank you."

Locking lips was fast becoming our natural state. Not that I would ever complain about such a blessing. I would never tire of my 'panda's taste, nor would I ever contemplate letting him leave my side without telling him, really telling him how much he meant to me.

"I'm so glad you're here for me."

"It's nothing," he replied, still holding himself close.

"And, uh... I love you, Sam. I really do. More than anything."

"Oh... aww..." His breathing got heavier, more and more mumbles and mutterings falling out of his cute, brightening muzzle. "I love you, too... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

We broke into the most serene of silences, taking a moment to simply enjoy one another. My Sam, he really did fit perfectly atop my belly shelf, between my pecs and against my neck. His nose positioned exactly right to lazily nuzzle up at my chin. Of course, my little 'panda being my little 'panda, he'd not wait long before piping up to impart some more words of wisdom... of sorts.

"I'll always be here for you, big 'panda, and I'll always be happy to be... In fact, I'll only ever be happier if I'm here for you, while under you."

"My gods." I snorted, scoffed, chuckled, and made a whole lot more noise while shaking my head at my, "Horny, _horny,_little 'panda."

"I can't help it," he complained, his whole body wagging against me. "You're too hot."

"Fine," I sang. "I promise I'll bury you after dinner. How does that sound?"

"Like a dream come true." His swinging tail grazed and tickled my chin. "But maybe... change into your gym shorts first?"

"I can do that." His little crotch began to stir against my chest. Admittedly, mine was getting a little worked up, too. "Or... maybe I'll park myself on you while wearing nothing at all."

"Yes!" he barked, springing up to lick my cheek and offer his biggest hug yet. "Gods, please, yes."

"You've got it." I sighed deeply, nosing between his ears. "Anything for my biggest fan."