The Dinosaur Princess is my Consort?
Story by TikTikKobold on SoFurry
Chris might have hit an anthropomorphic allosaur with his truck, but he had no idea he was going to get in an even crazier situation. Turns out, he's earned this dinosaur's respect... but what does that mean for him!?
This is a The Vajrayana Chronicles, a commission series about a sprawling Dinosaur Empire. The commissioner has quite a massive world planned, and I'm looking forward to giving it to you all.
If you'd like to commission me yourself, consider checking out my Commission Information
“C….Chris. Wait, did you just say ‘planet?”
Ignoring him, Túzh?ní continues. “Chris… you have bested me in combat. For that, I must adhere to the customs of my people. I am now, and for as long as you remain undefeated, your consort.”
Chris stumbles back against the turned over truck, his heart racing and his face going white. “W… wait a minute here. Now, you really need to explain a few things to me, here! What are you, where are you from, what are you doing here, and why the hell did you try to kill me and now want to marry me.”
Túzh?ní groans, pushing herself to her feet, the Allosaurus woman pants, staring him down and sniffs. “I’ve been attacked by you shaved simians ever since I came into orbit around your world. I think you’re the one who owes me an explanation, but…” she closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and nods. “You have bested me in combat, Chris, so I will answer what I can. I am the princess of an interstellar empire of great renown. It is one that has existed since the dawn of our sapience. I came here to deliver an important message, but there’s no way to deliver it at the present time. Come, show me where you nest that I may recuperate and be ready for your bedchamber.”
“Ah, r… right,” he says. “Look, I don’t want to upset the dinosaur princess anymore, but, uh… I kinda can’t go anywhere with my truck like this, and I’m still on the job and-”
Túzh?ní grabs Chris by the shoulders, leaning in so her forehead presses up against his. He gulps, but she whispers. “Chris. You are in danger now that you have taken me as a consort. We must find a place to rest and then move on. My ship isn’t safe. They’re surely tracking it.”
“F… Fine!” he yelps, “But my truck!”
She groans and reaches for the window, shoving the truck with little problem. It crashes back onto the street.
“Boss is gonna kill me,” he mutters.
“I will never let that happen. Point me to this ‘Boss’ and I shall destroy her.”
“Him,” Chris responds, heading back into the truck. “And I’d rather you not. I just need to get my real car. Uh… can you run or do you want to ride?”
Túzh?ní responds by climbing ontop of the car, leaning over and pressing her massive chest against the roof, her hands clawing over the sides and holding tightly. “Onward, Chris. I shall be your eyes and ears.”
“S… sure, alright, well here we go,” he says, praying that the engine will at least start.
—
“Christopher, where the hell is the customer, and where the hell is his car? And what the fuck happened to the truck? It’s a wreck!” Jakes stares at disbelief after Chris pulled back in.
Chris, rubbing the back of his neck, looks over at the state of the thing. “Eh, well, it’s a long story, but something really messed up happened and I had to get the hell out of there.”
Jakes’s face goes pale, and then he leans in, narrowing his gaze and sniffing. “Boy, you smell like shit. Don’t tell me… you didn’t see anything… strange out there, did you?”
Chris breaks out in the coldest of sweats. “W… what do you me-?”
Jakes holds his hand up, shaking his head. “No, no, don’t tell me. My grandpappy was one quarter Navajo. They knew all the crazy shit that lived out in the wilderness. You wouldn’t believe some of the stories of what lurked in the dead of night, but I tell ya, there’s some really strange shit out there. As if life wasn’t complicated enough, right?” He laughs, shaking his head. “Told you I had a friend who got cursed once, right? Lost all of his hair and went blind before he was twenty. Poor guy.
“Oh, so, like, strange stuff has happened to you before, Jakes. Well, then, that makes this easier.”
“Makes what easier?”
“Uh… Túzh?ní? You can come on out now.”
The allosaurus princess lumbers out from the thick trees where she was hiding. In the bright light, her cuts and scrapes and bruises are much more pronounced. “Yes, Chris?”
Jakes screams before she even gets her words out, falling right on his butt and clawing back aways. “Oholey shit!”
“Yeah, uh, that was my reaction. Listen, I kinda hit her with the truck and insurance doesn’t quite cover it, and she said something about being on the run from guys with guns, and…”
“Oh, oh no you don’t…” Jakes says. “I am not going to deal with no strange crap like this.” He pulls a set of keys out of his pocket and tosses them to Chris. “You take your naked dinosaur woman and you… you go out to the old cabin off Dead Man’s curve. Take the truck. I’ll report the damn thing stolen if I have to. But you can hide and do whatever the hell you want over there. Just… look out for them spirits, man.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t think spirits and ghosts and bigfoot are off the table now,” Chris admits. “Thanks, Jakes. You’re a real friend. Come on, Túzh?ní, it’s not too far away from here. It’ll be perfect to hold you out and do whatever the fuck it is you two are gonna do.”
“We must make haste and secure the nest,” Túzh?ní says, climbing back on top of the truck. “Come, Chris, I cannot protect you if we’re caught.”
“Alright, alright. Let’s go.”
As the truck pulls away and its final putters disappear into the night, Jakes climbs back onto his chair and wipes his brow. “Damn, Chris…” he sighs. “When I said you should find a woman… that isn’t quite what I had in mind, but… them tits, man… Them tits…”
The headlights of the tow-truck destroy the darkness, revealing the lonely cabin in the stillness of the night. Chris kills the engine and slumps back on the seat, taking a deep breath while he tries to gather his thoughts. Luckily, no one was on the road leading out from the shop, and the forest cover was great, so the chances of secretive people chasing him down are pretty much nonexistent.