BLUE VIXEN RAAAEEEPP!!! :D
Disclaimer: This story contains yiffs and therefore you shouldn't be reading it if you are under eighteen, yada yada yada, GTFO if you are under 18, blah blah blah, if you continue reading past this point and get caught fapping by your parents, it's not my fault if you get sent to Catholic school. Also, I have a couple of friends cameoed in here, and Krystal belongs to Nintendo. Yes, everyone's favorite blue vixen that is more famous for the porn she's in rather than her brief stint in the Star Fox games. So, on with the show!
Also, all names in here are fictitious assumptions of what my cameod friends' real life names are. So no Google stalking, cause you won't find anything.
2:30 P.M. - Eden, New York
Daniel trudged onto the school bus and took a seat near the front, ears flattened in annoyance. The blue fox, who stood at 5'7" and wore thin rimmed glasses, had just found out that the Chinese had hacked his mom's Paypal account, and so now he wouldn't be able to use it to purchase yiffy commissions from Kavi and CheetagonZita anymore. This, coming at a time where school had just restarted, and it was still warm enough for girls to wear tank tops or tight t-shirts with no bra. His eyes wandered as a white furred panther wearing one such shirt walked past him, her nipples clearing poking through the fabric. Damn it, Daniel thought as he looked down at his crotch to feel his member hardening. Oh well, when I get home I'll just get on SoHooman and paw to some good old Danish lesbians goin' at it.
However, just as the bus was preparing to leave, a tall black furred wolf walked on board. Daniel didn't remember seeing him before though, and he didn't look high school age either. However, the thing that stuck out most about him were the two red stripes that seemed to start on his neck and run along the sides of his face all the way down to his nose. The wolf whispered something to the bus driver, who nodded and said nothing. Then a tall red furred fox stepped on board, wielding an iPad and wearing a backwards baseball cap. The wolf and fox stood at the front of the bus and looked down the rows of seats at the students, none of whom were paying attention. At this point, the fox spoke up and said "Ahem, attention please, may I have your attention?"
The students stopped their jabbering and fidgeting and looked up at the fox.
"Ah, yes. Is there a Daniel...Lamp-key? Is it Lamp-key...or Lamp-kai?"
At this point the wolf facepalmed himself and spoke up in an English accent, "No no no, you stupid twat, you're not supposed to ask him his name!"
"Well sar-REE!" The fox said back, "But this is my first kidnapping and I wanted to make sure I did it right!"
At this point Daniel's ears shot up and he started to inch his way out of his seat. The wolf and fox continued to argue amongst themselves, so he decided to make a run for it. Quickly he stood up and bolted for the emergency exit door in the back of the bus.
"There he goes! That's him!" the wolf shouted.
"How do you know?" the fox asked.
"HE'S THE ONLY BLUE FOX ON THE FUCKING BUS!!!!!!"
With that, the wolf chased after Daniel, and managed to corner him in the back as Daniel struggled to get the emergency exit unlocked. The wolf drew a taser gun and fired the dart into Daniel's neck, stunning him instantly and knocking him to the floor as he shook like a California earthquake. All the kids on the bus started freaking out, wondering what the heck was going on. The fox though managed to calm everyone down and by saying, "It's okay everyone, we're FDA! He just ate some bad...uhh...Viagra...and that's why he's blue now. And possibly insane, so if you'll just sit down and stay calm, we'll be out of here in just a second."
The wolf picked up Daniel and slung his limp body over his shoulders, and then followed the fox out the bus's door.
"Bad Viagra?" he asked. "Seriously, that's what you bloody came up with?"
"Hey it worked," the fox said back defensively.
"Ugh, sometimes James I wonder why I even bother to bring you along."
The Woodlands, Texas - 7:00 P.M. the next day
Nik drove up to the two story apartment complex and parked alongside the curb. The blue fox wolf, who stood at about 6' even, checked the address and once he was sure this was the place, he grabbed the pizzas off the passenger seat of his car and proceeded to walk to the door of apartment 1F. Like Daniel in New York, Nik had blue fur, although Nik's was a much darker shade of blue while Daniel's was a lighter sky blue. Both foxes however had large white fur patterns on the undersides of their muzzles, their torsos and stomachs, and the tips of their tails. However, unlike Daniel, Nik was a pizza boy for Big Meat Pizza, and so he was once again off to do a job that he knew was slowly sucking the life out of him.
Whoever this asshole is, he'd better give me a big enough tip to cover the gas it took to get out here, Nik thought. He was surprised his boss made him drive this far out, as he'd barely been able to deliver the pizza in under thirty minutes. Still, two run red lights and a maimed pedestrian weren't so bad considering he'd get to keep his job...provided his boss didn't find out about it. He walked up to the door and rang the door bell, but he didn't hear anything coming from inside the apartment. Nik knocked on the door while checking the receipt.
"Hellooooo? I got three pizzas here for a Mr. I.C. Wien....OH GOD DAMN IT!" he shouted as he angrily threw the pizza boxes against the door, splattering their contents across it and the door mat. Ears pinned to his head, Nik walked back to his car fuming with rage. Great! That' forty bucks coming outta my pay. How the hell am I gonna pay my bills? Charter's gonna fuckin' yank my internet again.
As he walked back to his car, Nik noticed there was now a red furred fox standing next to it holding an iPad.
"Who the hell are you?" Nik asked as he walked over to the driver's side door.
"Sorry to bother you sir, but are you Mr. Nik Kerilenko?" the fox asked.
"Yeah, why?" Nik asked. "I'm only six inches from the curb, so if you're some sort of cop, just move along, m'kay?"
Suddenly Nik felt a sharp pain in his back, followed by an electric shock as a black furred arctic wolf walked up behind him and shot him with a taser in the back of the neck.
"See?" the wolf said with a British accent, "That's how you sneak up and disable a kidnap victim."
"W-what the hell man!" Nik moaned, which caused both the fox and wolf to stare down at him with wide eyes.
"You were saying?" the fox asked smugly to his wolf companion.
"Grr, hold on. Buggeh, this bloody piece of crap isn't worth a share of BP stock," the wolf grumbled as he turned the dials on the gun, which promptly sent another shock through the wires to the still attached darts that stuck in Nik's neck.
"GAAAHH! OUCH! FUCK FUCK FUCK! QUIT IT MAN!" Nik screamed as he spasmed all over the street.
"What the bloody hell is wrong with this thing? It knocked that other bloke out in two seconds flat!" the wolf proclaimed as he watched Nik thrash around as he was shocked for another ten seconds.
UGH! Why did I have to let that kinky tigress use those electric nipple clamps on me?! Nik thought to himself as he continued to endure the painful yet strangely arousing taser shocks.
"Oh god, look dude you just made him piss himself," the fox observed.
Sniffing the air, the wolf said, "Eeee, sorry mate but I don't think that's piss."
"What kinda sick fuck did we just try to kidnap?" the fox wondered aloud.
"Hey I can still hear you," Nik said, too delirious to think rationally...or notice that his crotch was now numb.
With that, the fox kicked Nik in the side of the head, knocking him out cold. "There, THAT is the way you kidnap someone."
Just then a police cruiser rolled up behind them and the officer lowered his window. "Kyle? James? What the hell are you two doing?" the tigerwolf police officer asked.
"Oh 'ello Jake. Nothin' much, we're just trying to load this wanker into the back of James's truck here," the wolf said pointing to a silver F-150 parked along the curb.
"Oh, well alright then," the cop said as he drove away.
And with that the wolf and fox loaded Nik's body into the bed of the truck and proceeded to drive off to the airport.
Ugh, my head, Nik thought as he awoke in a small 8'x8' room with nothing but clear blue tiles making up the walls, floor, and ceiling. One of the walls had a small metal plated door in it, but other than that the room had no distinguishing features except for a small lamp on the ceiling that brightly lit the room.
"Where the hell...and...what the? Where the fuck are my clothes?" Nik gasped as he realized he was completely naked.
Suddenly he heard a beeping sound and looked to see one of the tiles in the wall slide off to the side to reveal a small television monitor. A strange logo with nothing but a white background and a black paw print showed up on the screen as it flashed to life. A voice with a British accent came across through the speakers.
"Wakey wakey, Nik, it's time to get up."
"What the? Who are you?" Nik asked, assuming the TV was wired with a microphone so he could talk back.
"That does not concern you," the voice sad back, "All that you need to know is that you're trapped in a small room, and I am now vacuuming out all of the air. In eight hours the air will run out, and you will be dead. I have provided you with three simple items with which to escape the room. If you can escape, you will be allowed to live and will be able to pass onto the next trial, understand?"
"Wait, WHAT!?" Nik cried as he realized that his life had just turned into Saw III.
"On the floor you will find a coat hanger, a spatula, and Tickle Me Elmo doll. One of these items is the key to escaping the room in time. Good luck!" With that the tile slid back into place, concealing the TV and leaving Nik alone again.
"Oh god oh god oh god, what do I do? Hmm, let's see...coat hanger? Could I bend it into a lock pick and use that to escape? Well...I could but I don't know how to pick locks. And I think it's safe to say that the spatula and Elmo doll are all useless. Well, I guess this is it, so I might as well go out the funnest way possible."
Meanwhile, in a similar room next door, Daniel had awoken and received the same message as Nik.
"WHAT? What kind of sick joke is this?" Daniel shouted at the TV. "And what the hell did you do with my clothes?"
"Nothing. But don't worry, you won't be needin' them where you're going...provided you survive. If you don't, well you'll be dead and you still won't need them so it's okay either way."
And then the tile slipped back over the TV and Daniel was left alone.
"Okay...so now what? Hey, I bet there's a key hidden in that Elmo doll!" And so Daniel proceeded to rip the toy's head off and search through all the stuffing for a key, all the while having to listen to it laugh and giggle as he did so.
"Gawd, will you shut up!" Daniel shouted at the toy as he ripped out the electronic voice box and smashed it several times on the floor. "Ugh, finally. Well, there's no key...and the spatula and coat hanger look pretty useless. Which means...oh god I'm gonna die! Siiiiiiighhh, well no use crying over what I can't change. I guess I might as well make use of what little time I have left..."
Unbeknownst to Daniel and Nik, eighteen other blue foxes were locked in similar rooms in a large warehouse located in Norfolk, Virginia. All twenty of them were between the ages of seventeen and twenty-six, and all had been kidnapped in similar fashions. And, they were all locked in similar plain tiled rooms, and had all been told they had eight hours to escape before they ran out of air. Little did they know that a hidden camera was located in their cell's ceiling lamp, and that their escape attempts were being monitored the whole time.
Sitting in his office, the black furred wolf with the red striped face switched between different camera views on his desktop computer. He looked up as his office door opened and a tall blue furred vixen, wearing a tan colored loin cloth and a matching top that clung tightly to her buxom chest peaked her head inside and gave him a questioning look. The wolf smiled and motioned for her to enter.
"Ahh, Ms. Krystal please come in," he said warmly.
"Thank you Mr...umm..."
"Arctic," he stated.
"Arctic," she said, "I just wanted to check on the contestants."
"Of course," he said as he slid his chair to the side so she could stand next to him and look at the computer monitor. "As you can see, we managed to round up twenty contestants for the show. The producers at Fox tell me that they can get us an 8:00 P.M. Thursday air time, and we should have all twenty episodes filmed in time for the fall lineup."
"Great!" Krystal replied happily. "But are you sure people will want to watch a show about me trying to find a mate among twenty random blue foxes you kidnapped? I mean how'd you even clear the whole kidnapping thing?"
The wolf leaned back in his chair and smiled. "Well, first I may...may have lied and said that all the kidnappings were staged. And of course people will want to watch it! That piece of shit Bachelorette show keeps airing by some miracle, so I'm sure your show will take off as well. Plus, we don't have to censor any of the nudity because I found a loophole in the FCC's regulations that says you don't have to black out animal tits."
"Nice," Krystal said while looking at the monitor. "So how are our contestants doing?"
"Well, right now we're seeing which one's will recognize that the rooms their trapped in don't have locking doors."
"Meaning they're not really trapped?"
"Exactly," Arctic replied. "Let's see, let's check out cell #19...hmm...and...oh my god! What is he...what the fuck is he doing?"
"Umm...it looks like he's fapping up a storm in there," Krystal said while leaning in closer to get a better look.
Arctic pressed a button on his desk phone and said, "Mr. Truyaert, who's in cell #19?"
"That'd be Mr. Lampke sir," James, the red furred fox from before, answered promptly.
Before Arctic could respond however, his attention was drawn back to the monitor as he heard a loud, "Nnngggaaaagghhhh!" emanate from the speakers.
"Muuurrrrr, looks like someone was a little pent up," Krystal said with a slight giggle as she watched Daniel blow a huge load of fox spunk over himself.
"Oh sweet Christ!" Arctic exclaimed, "We're not gonna be able to air that! What the bloody hell's he doing? He's supposed to be escaping certain death, not beating the fuckang meat! And Krystal, do you have to wear your warrior princess outfit around me? The last thing I need to risk is another sexual harassment lawsuit."
"Oh psh-shaw!" she said back. "You don't have the balls to jump me. Besides, this warehouse doesn't have air conditioning and it's hotter than hell in here. What am I supposed to wear that doesn't make me sweat bullets?"
Arctic just growled at her as he switched screens to check on Nik. "Holy hell! He's fuckang doin' it too!" he exclaimed as the camera feed revealed Nik fapping like no tomorrow.
"God Arctic, where did you find these guys, Sexaholics Anonymous? And...wow this guy sure makes a wild face when he cums doesn't he," Krystal commented as Nik also blew a load of fox cum, although his painted the wall of his cell rather than his chest.
Arctic massaged his forehead and sighed. "What is it with you foxes being so yiffy all the god damned time?"
Krystal grinned and slyly whispered, "I'll let you in on a little secret. It's the tails." And with that she tail fwapped Arctic and gracefully walked out the door.
Arctic groaned and hit the button to his intercom. "James, I need you to go to my storage locker and remove the dead rat I have on the lower shelf, and then place it in Ms. Krystal's car's backseat. Understand?"
"Not really," James replied. "Why do you have a dead rat in your locker?"
"JUST FUCKING PUT IT IN HER CAR OKAY!"
"Fine, jeez dude you need to calm down," James replied as he set about his new mission.
Arctic slumped back in his chair and heaved a weary sigh. This was going to be a long month. Looking at the monitor, he saw Nik and Daniel were both still choking the chicken with impressive vigor. Hmmm, well...when in Rome do as the Romans do.
He then switched over to a secret camera channel...that carried a closed circuit feed from Krystal's private shower stall. And as if on cue, the blue furred vixen stepped inside moments later carrying bottles of expensive French made fur shampoo and conditioner...while also being completely nude.
SCORE!!!!!!! Arctic thought with glee as he quickly unzipped his pants.
Eight Hours Later
Arctic walked back into his office, having just returned from Burger King to pick up food for himself and James. And so as he sat down in his desk's chair and proceeded to nom his Whopper, he heard his desk phone beep, signaling someone was calling him on the intercom system.
"Helloof?" he said, a bite of hamburger still in his mouth.
"Uhh, Arctic?" James said, uneasiness in his voice, "We have a bit of a problem."
"Oh yeah? What?"
"Umm, have you checked the monitors lately?"
Arctic looked over at his computer and brought up the various camera feeds. At first everything seemed okay, but then he noticed all the contestants were lying still in the cells.
"I see a bunch of them sleeping, what's wrong with that?" he asked.
"Arctic, uhh...they're dead."
"WHAT?"
"Yeah, you know when we had the contractors build this place? Well, it turns out the foreman overheard us talking about how we wanted to build rooms that could vacuum the air out, so he put air tight doors on all the cells."
"Good god, we've got to get those poor saps outta there!" Arctic exclaimed.
"It's no good dude, they're all dead. It turns out a room of that size has about thirty minutes of air, not eight hours."
"Grrrr, FUCKING CUNT!" Arctic screamed as he threw his pencil holding coffee mug against the wall.
"Well, it's not all bad," James started to say.
"Not all bad? ALL OUR CONTESTANTS ARE DEAD! How is that not bad you stewpid vulpe?"
"Hey hey! There's no need to get racial here. What I mean is that the two foxes in cells #19 and #20 survived. Apparently their doors weren't air tight."
"Well that's better than nothing I suppose," Arctic sighed. "Alright, you start taking care of all the dead ones. I'll round up Nik and Daniel and we'll move on to the next part of the show."
"Gotcha," James said as he ended the call.
Arctic then switched intercom channels to Krystal's office, where he was promptly greeted with, "OOOOOOHHHH YEEEESSSS! FUCK MEEEE FOXIE! OH GODS SPANK ME LIKE YOU MEAN IT! YEEESSS! I'M SUCH A BAD GIRL! MAKE ME SCREAM, AAAHHH!"
Oh for the love of Christ, is EVERYONE in this building a fucking sex addict? Arctic mentally groaned. He then pressed the intercom and yelled, "FOR FUCK'S SAKE KRYSTAL! Get your bloody paw out of your cunt and get dressed! We've got a serious problem on our hands and the last thing I need you doing is ruining the upholstery on your office furniture."
Through the intercom Arctic could hear Krystal scream in surprise and fall out of her chair. "Damn it Arctic! I'm gonna rip your fucking balls off for that! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW CLOSE I WAS?"
Arctic snickered at that and said, "So your balls look like the rest of you now? Or ovaries since you're a girl I guess...whatever."
"Yeah, and your balls are gonna be black and blue when I'm done with'em." Krystal growled over the intercom.
"I apologize for nothing," Arctic said smugly as he promptly ended the call and then proceeded out his office and down the hall towards the row of cells. He nodded to James as James passed him wheeling a large laundry cart full of dead blue foxes towards the exit door. Finally, Arctic arrived at Daniel's cell and opened the door...to find a sight that still haunts him to this day.
For on the floor of the cell lay Daniel...drenched in over two dozen white ropes of fox cum...while still feverishly pumping his throbbing red shaft...while also licking some of his own stuff off his fingers...and moaning, "Oooohhh Aya, yeah keep going! That feels so goooooooooooood! Ahhhhh!" It was in the middle of that "Ahhh" that Arctic walked in, causing Daniel to pause and look up at him while still performing all the above mentioned actions...and subsequently drench himself in another four ropes of yiff sauce.
Arctic froze as well, and then slowly stepped back into the hall and shut the door. Daniel quickly stood up and desperately tried to wipe himself off as best he could while he heard Arctic moaning out in the hall way. God, that's the same sick bastard who tased me! Daniel thought to himself. He'd better not be pawing after seeing me like that.
"Huuurrkkkkk!" Arctic retched as his Whopper was thoroughly refunded onto the hallway floor. "Oh god, holy shit..." he moaned as he tried to clear the putrid taste out of his mouth.
Finally, after three awkward minutes Arctic walked back into the cell. "Okay Mr. Lampke, you passed this first round and so now you're to follow me."
"Why should I? You fucking tried to kill me! Not to mention you tased me and dragged me out of the school bus in front of all my friends."
"A necessary act, I assure you. Oh, and I didn't try to kill you. Didn't you notice there's no lock on this door? And that it's not pressure sealed?"
"Wait...you mean I could have left this whole time?" Daniel asked dumbfounded.
"Yes you stewpid yank, but it seems that you were too busy with other 'things.'"
"Hey I thought I was dying! What would you do in a situation like that?"
"Try the bloody door to make sure it's not locked. Now come on, I need to go talk to your opponent."
"Opponent?" Daniel asked as he followed Arctic out into the hallway and to the door of the neighboring cell.
Arctic didn't answer as he entered the cell to find Nik moaning, "AAAAUUUUuuughhh!" while he zealously pawed and consequently fired off a several sticky ropes of spunk all over his cell wall. Arctic and Daniel simply stared, both inwardly snickering at Nik's "sex face," as his eyes blankly stared at the ceiling while his maw hung open in a wide grin and his tongue lulled out the side of his mouth.
"What in god's name are you dewing?!" Arctic exclaimed as he realized that the walls were well coated with several thick ropes of semen.
"WHA?!" Nik gasped as he spun around to face the two furs that had just entered the room. "YOU! You're the sonvua bitch who tased me!"
"Quite. And...have you been trying to write your name with your own ejaculate?" Arctic asked as he realized the ropes of semen formed letters that spelled NIK KER in big letters across the cell wall.
"Yeah, you like it?" Nik asked. "I was trying to leave a signature before I died, but I only managed to get about a third of the way through my last name."
"Dude, that's just messed up," Daniel commented.
"Oh fuhck off," Arctic said, "I caught you eating your own stuff while moaning some Asian chick's name. Now, Nik you and Daniel here are the only two contestants left so..."
"Contestants? For what?" Nik asked. "And why are we the only ones left?"
"Welllllll, you see there was a slight...hiccup in our plans for a surprise reality show involving Krystal, and so now all the other guys are dead and it's just you and Daniel here."
"Wait wait wait, Krystal...from Starfox?" Nik inquired.
"Yes, is there any other blue vixen with a stripper name out there?"
"Kay, so how is she involved?"
"Well," Arctic said while leading the two blue foxes out of the cell and into the hallway, "We were going to try to rip off the Bachelorette, but with Krystal."
"SCHWEET! I have ALWAYS wanted a chance with her," Nik exclaimed. "But first, I have to kick your ass for tasering me and stealing my clothes."
"Wait what?" Arctic said slightly confused. The next thing he knew he felt Nik punch him clean in the back of the head. "Ouch! You yankee wanker!"
With that Arctic suddenly drew his taser...again...and shot Nik in his left pectoral muscle.
ZAP!
"GAAAAHHHYAHYAAHYAHYAHA!" Nik cried as the 50,000 volt shock once again did nothing to disable him...and too much to arouse him. And so fifteen seconds later he blew another load...with most of it hitting Daniel on his chest and arms.
"Aaahhh! GROSS DUDE! What the hell's wrong with you?" Daniel shouted in disgust.
Arctic joined in as well by asking, "That's bloody twice you've done that. Seriously, who cums to getting tased?"
Finally Arctic shut off the taser, leaving Nik moaning on the floor...once again unable to feel his crotch. "Uuuuugggghhhh......sorry bro. I had this one really...really...bad date with this one girl, and she had more kinks than a Canadian garden hose."
Arctic furrowed his brow in confusion and asked, "Why do Canadian garden hoses have more kinks than American ones? Ugh, never mind. The point is, you two are the only contestants left alive, and therefore it will be you two duking it out for Krystal's paw in mateship. Also, Nik, I'm going to have to ask that you don't try to kill me. Please."
"Hey, I'm from Texas! We don't take that crap where I come from," he said indignantly. "I mean where's this scrawny bastard come from?" he asked pointing to Daniel.
"New York you red neck piece of shit!" Daniel angrily retorted.
Nik then for no apparent reason socked Daniel square in the face, leaving him holding his muzzle and rolling back and forth on the floor with a bloody nose.
"AAAHHH YOU SONUVA BITCH! What was that for? Aaarrggghhh!"
"That's for coming down to the South yankee! Umm, we are in the South right?" Nik asked looking to Arctic, who nodded. "So, how do I win Krystal's heart?"
"You have to best Daniel here in a competition for her love and..."
Nik then curbstomped Daniel in the stomach.
"AAAUUGGH! WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, I'M ALREADY DOWN!" Daniel cried in pain.
"So can I has Krystal yiffs now?" Nik asked with a wide grin.
"I'm afraid it's not quite that simple..." Arctic tried to explain, but he was then cut off by Daniel.
"OH YES IT IS! I'm done with this shit. I don't even want to be mates with her, I already got a girlfriend down in Florida." Daniel said as he wearily got off the floor.
"Does she know you lick your own spooge from your digits while calling her name?" Arctic asked smugly.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP DONNY!"
"My name's not..."
"I'M CALLING YOU DONNY AND THAT'S THAT!"
"Fine whatever," Arctic said as he turned and lead the way back to his office.
And so everyone gathered in Arctic's office, with Arctic sitting at his desk and Krystal and James standing next to him while Nik and Daniel sat in a couple of chairs in front of the desk.
"Alright," Arctic began, "we're down to just you two on the show, which means we're going to have to reformat the show from a twenty episode run to a two hour special. Also, the executives a Fox have pulled all our funding, so the only way we're going to be able to salvage this operation and pay off all the money to those Chechen loan sharks is to make a combination reality show and porn flick."
"Say what?" Daniel asked, scratching behind his ears.
"Originally all the contestants were going to compete in a series of bland challenges and game show clichés until they were all eliminated, save for our winner. But instead we're going to reformat it so that you and Nik here both fuck Krystal's brains out, and then whichever one of you father's her kits get's to marry her. Sound good?"
"NO WAY!" Daniel exclaimed. "I already told you I'm not doing this. I have a freakin' girlfriend down in Florida and there's no way I'm fucking that two dollar whore standing next to you."
Nik then punched Daniel again and said, "Hey! You don't EVER talk about my wife that way!"
"Both of you shut the fuck the up," James flatly commanded.
"Fine Daniel, you can sit this out. Here, may I offer you a Vanilla Coke Zero?" Arctic asked while handing Daniel a fizzing glass of soda.
"Umm, sure why not." Daniel took a sip, smacked his lips and said, "Hmm, not bad. And this is Coke Zeeerrr-" at which point he collapsed and fell asleep on the floor.
"Okay," Arctic said, "I think I put enough Valium and Viagra in there to keep him down...and up if you catch my drift. James, please take Mr. Lampke here and cuff him to the bed in room #3."
"Will do," James said as he walked over started dragging Daniel's limp, drooling figure out the door.
"Alright, now to just flip a coin to see who gets to yiff Krystal first," Arctic said. "Nik, heads of tails?"
"Which one is the equivalent of surprise buttsex?" he asked.
"Tails it is." Arctic flipped the coin. "Ah, congrats Nik, you win. Krystal, to bedroom #1 please. I'll get the camera."
A few minutes later Arctic walked into the bedroom to find Nik sitting on the bed and Krystal angrily coming out of the bathroom.
"ARCTIC! What the hell is this camera doing in my shower?" she said while holding the remains of the hidden camera that she had just ripped out of the ceiling.
"It's for security purposes I assure you," Arctic said with a straight face.
"It has a motion sensor, and its red RECORD light is blinking," she said angrily.
"Look, what do you care? I'm about to film you yiffing this twenty year old pizza boy from Texas. Do you really care that I watched you take a shower?"
"I WAS PAWING OFF IN THERE YOU SICK FREAK!"
"Whoa!" Nik exclaimed. "Dude Arctic, you saved that vid to your hard drive right?"
"Bloody right mate, of course I did," he replied.
"Cool. When we're done can I get a copy of that?"
"Sure, why not."
"Arctic don't you dare share that vid with him or..."
"It's already on X-Tube Krystal," Arctic replied. "It got 30,000,000 hits in eight hours."
"UUUGHHHHHH!" she moaned through clenched teeth. "Fine, can we just shoot this thing already so I can get my check and get outta here?"
"Very well, hold on I got to position the tri-pod. Okay, we're all set."
Nik stood up and asked, "Uhh, is there a story here that I need to act out or anything?"
"No, just fuck her brains out and I think we'll be good," Arctic replied. "Okay and 3...2...1...action!"
"Action?" Nik asked.
"Nik you amateur, don't look at the camera!" Krystal chided.
"Well I'm sorry but I'm a little nervous about thiiiiiiiIIIIISSS!" he trailed off as Krystal sank to her knees and took his foxhood to the hilt in her maw.
"Oh fuck yeah!" he cried as he clenched his eyes shut and placed a paw on the back of her head as she began to suck him off.
Nik thrust his hips against Krystal's maw as she expertly slid her tongue along his throbbing length, all the while staring up at him with her big, cute vixen eyes. All Nik could do was look down in utter awe as he member pulsed in delight at Krystal's tactile licks. He gently scratched behind her left ear, making her murr and lean into his fingers to show him that he had found her sweet spot. After another few minutes of sucking, Krystal finally stopped and pulled off him, making Nik whine in annoyance as his fox meat was brought back into the chilly air of the bedroom.
"Don't worry baby, we're not done yet," Krystal said soothingly. "Remember you're trying to mate me." With that she crawled up onto the bed and kneeled on all fours, lifting up her tail to expose her dripping wet vixen pussy; it's lips red, swollen and dripping with her sweet scented juices.
Nik wasted no time leaping up behind her and burying his muzzle between her folds, and eagerly began licking up every drop of her sweet cum.
"Mmmm, bluebeerrryyy..." he moaned as Krystal's sweet juices reminded him of the tasty fruit.
"Mmmm, yeah...oh! Ah, ah ah ah yeeaaah! Work me you filthy beast!" Krystal moaned as she pressed her pussy back against Nik's face, begging him to lick her faster.
However, seeing how moist and excited she was, Nik decided not to waste another second. He pulled his now cum coated muzzle away and brought his foxhood up to Krystal's slit, carefully lining himself up before plunging his meat deep inside her.
"AAAAUUUUGGHH!" Krystal gasped in ecstasy as her eyes rolled backwards in her head and her tongue lulled in her mouth.
Nik firmly grasped her hips and started mercilessly pounding his cock into Krystal's tight twat. Her gasps and cries filled the room as she pinned her ears back and howled each time Nik nearly pulled out, only to slam himself forward with all his might and sink his throbbing meat stick to the very hilt inside Krystal's slick passage. Nik raised his paw and lightly smacked Krystal on her butt, making her gasp in surprise as he commanded her.
"Tell me how you want it!" he growled seductively.
"Ng, harder foxie!"
"Yeah, you're a bad vixen aren't you?" he asked while giving her another playful smack on her shapely rump.
"Ah! Ooooh yes, I've been such a naughty girl. Make me learn my lesson Nik!"
"Oh I intend to," he said with a grin as he pulled her down onto the bed so that they were both lying on their sides.
Nik grabbed each of Krystal's breasts, putting one in each paw as he furiously started to buck his hips against her. Krystal nearly screamed herself hoarse as she placed her own paws on top of Nik's and ground her hips against him as he continued to fuck her into whatever year Futurama takes place in.
"Ng, ng, ng, yeeeeaaaaah! Oh gaaaawwwwds! Ah ah ah Ah AH! OH FUCK YES! Fuck me harder Nik, don't stop oh please don't stop!" Krystal cried, tears actually streaming down her cheeks as her pussy started to spasm and tightly clench around his throbbing fox cock.
"Ugh! Oh fuck, Krystal I-I'm gonna cum!" he managed to gasp.
"THEN FUCKING TIE ME ALREADY!" she shouted with glee as she felt Nik pull out of her, and then in unison they thrust their hips against each other. "OOOOOOOOOHHHH FUUHHHCK!"
Krystal screamed as Nik's knot solidly plopped into her aching pussy, pushing both of them over the edge and into pure nirvanic fox secks blistering hot bliss. And stuff. Soooo, with that Nik fired off a thick well earned load of fox spunk, plastering Krystal's womb full of his fertile puppy paste as his cock powerfully twitched inside Krystal's pussy, her walls clamping down hard around his flesh as he poured out his liquid love sauce in powerful ropy jets that did more than enough to effectively fill the horny blue vixen.
"Uuurrrk! Oh gods Krystal you're so tight!" Nik cried as he brought his fangs to Krystal's neck and gave her a firm but caring love bit on her neck, growling dominantly the whole time as Krystal delightedly murred in reply.
Krystal's own juices leaked for with a mixture of Nik's as well. The two foxes sighed, and finally started to relax their grip on one another as they both moaned in post orgasmic bliss. Nik released Krystal's neck and gently nuzzled her, making her giggle as he also playfully groped her breasts.
"Good girl," he whispered in her ear.
"In name only," she slyly replied.
"Annnnd cut!" Arctic said, breaking whatever shreds of romance that had managed to form. "That was good you two, I think it's safe to say we can call that a rap."
"Great," said Nik, "Now can you leave me to cuddle with my mate now?"
"Sorry dude but I gotta go rape that skinny New York kid now," Krystal said as she reached down and slipped a finger between her pussy lips and Nik's knot, allowing her to pop him out and free herself.
"What? Awwww, you mean I still have to compete with that loser for Krystal?" Nik asked dejectedly.
"Yeah, but you tied her first so you have a pretty good chance of being the winner. I just need this rape tape for the Japanese fetishists," Arctic replied as he gathered up the camera supplies. "In the meantime Nik, you can go take a shower in the bathroom over there. You'll find your clothes and fresh towels waiting for you. Oh, and also your BFG 9000."
"Wait what? You stole my BFG 9000 from my house?" Nik asked in surprise.
"Hmm, yeah you see we tried staking out your house to ambush you, but while we were messing around inside I found it and accidently fired it, blowing up James's truck parked outside as a result. So I had to confiscate it and get the hell outta there before the cops came," Arctic explained.
Nik rolled his eyes and walked over into the shower, not bothering to reply as Arctic and Krystal left the room to go film Daniel's scene.
7:45 P.M. The next day
Arctic, Nik, Krystal and Daniel gathered in the warehouse's laboratory, eagerly gathered around the computer that would reveal if either Daniel or Nik had managed to knock up Krystal. Well, Daniel wasn't eager really, as he was still rocking back and forth in his chair while curled up in a fetal position.
"Jeez Daniel, calm down," Arctic said to him.
"Calm down? Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up to find yourself strapped to some random bed, and a madly horny vixen is riding you like a rodeo bull while her SOB manager video tapes it? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA?"
"Nu," Arctic said flatly, "Now quit spazing out or I'll make you pop another valium pill."
Nik then spoke up and said, "So, do we know if she's pregnant yet?"
"Well the test confirms she is pregnant..."
"WOO HOO!" Nik exclaimed.
"But we're still waiting for the results of the paternity test. Shouldn't be long now though," Arctic said while checking his watch.
"Hey, where'd James go?" asked Krystal.
"Oh he was busy doing a midnight run to New Jersey to dispose of all the dead foxes that we accidently killed by looking them in an airtight room."
"Nice," she said. "So Nik, do you think you're the lucky fox who gets me?"
"Actually I'm a fox wolf," he corrected. "But yeah I'm pretty sure I'm..."
"Wait. Fox wolf? You mean a folf?" Krystal asked nervously.
"No, no, folfs are gross. I'm a FOX...WOLF. It's not the same," he explained.
"How so? They're both half fox and half wolf."
"Yes but I don't have a retarded name for my species," Nik further explicated
"And that name is?"
"Fox wolf!"
"That's two names," Krystal said. "You have to pick one."
"I'M A FOX WOLF DAMN IT! HOW HARD IS THAT TO..."
Just then the computer buzzed to life with a whir, a chirp, and a "bing!" A robotic male voice then said, "Congratulations Ms.....Krystal! The father of you pups is..."
Everyone eagerly looked at the screen as the answer loaded up.
"...JAMES TRUYEART!" A big picture of James's Facebook profile photo of him wearing a traffic cone on his head filled the screen.
"W-w-what? That's impossible!" Nik shouted in disbelief.
Just then James walked in the door and said, "Hey everyone, I'm back. Do we know who it is yet?"
"Yeeeaaah," Arctic hesitantly replied, "It's ummm....you."
"WHAT!? I'm calling BULLSHIT on that! Arctic fucked her first; there's no WAY my boys had time to get in there!"
"Arctic what?!?!" Krystal gasped while looking over at the wolf, who was now looking off nervously to the side. "You fucked me?! When the hell did you do that?"
James stepped up and said, "Remember when he and I first met you at that bar? I suggested testing out our Valium pills that we used in some of our kidnappings, as well as on Daniel. After two raspberry club sodas you were the epitome of a fox's yiffiness."
"Arctic! You sick perv, how could you do that?" she shouted angrily.
"It's not true, I don't know what the hell he's talking about!" Arctic shouted back.
"Oh yeah? Check out the X-tube video we made," James said as he opened up FireFox and logged onto X-tube to reveal a video titled "Horny Valium Vixen."
What the video showed was a naked Arctic fucking Krystal doggy style in the back of James's red F-150 (that would later be blown up a Nik's house).
"Hah, hah, hah, Hah, oh yeah! Fuck me you big bad wuff! Make me scream!" Krystal cried as Arctic pinned her arms behind her with one paw, while using the other to grip the scruff of her neck.
"Jeez dude, hurry up!" James's said from behind the camera, as he was the one taping the video.
"Shut up, the cameraman isn't supposed to talk!" Krystal fired back. "Now hush and wait your turn or I'll pin you and fuck you so hard we'll break the rear axle on your piece of shit truck!"
"Hey don't bring my truck into this you little bitch," James growled.
Back in the lab James stopped the video and smugly looked over at Krystal and Arctic, both of whom had their jaws dropped.
"Oh...my...god," Krystal said. "And this vid got 30,000,000 views too! But wait, if Arctic fucked me first...how come it says James is the father?"
"Because," Arctic said "that stewpid twat tied with you and I didn't." Arctic then unpaused the video to show him hump Krystal a few more times before pulling out and tightly grip his knot as he fapped himself to orgasm and gave Krystal a hot sticky bath of wolf cum all over her butt, tail, back, and shoulders. "See? So James it looks like we're gonna have to lie to everyone and claim Nik is the father."
"Screw that!" Nik said angrily, "I'm gonna kill you for fucking my woman!"
"And I'm gonna kill you for drugging me and letting your red neck bitch go for sloppy seconds!" Krystal added.
Nik then walked over to a table and picked up his BFG 9000. "Say herro to mah little friend!"
"That thing has no ammo you bloody twit, remember? I used accidently spent your last shot on James's truck," Arctic chided.
Nik flattened his ears and looked down at his gun, then thought for a second before shrugging and replying, "Meh, this thing still weighs twenty pounds, so I'll just beat you to death with it."
"Oh buggeh..." Arctic said as he inched his way to the door.
"GET 'EM!" Krystal shouted as she and Nik charged after Arctic and James, who ran out the door and proceeded to escape.
Meanwhile Daniel just nonchalantly pulled up a chair to the computer and logged onto MSN Messenger to find his girlfriend Aya-Chan was on.
"Hey baby, sorry I couldn't get on last nite," he typed, "It's kinda a long story, but check it out! I found this really cool amateur video of some drunk college kids on X-tube."
THE END
Epilogue- Because every good story ends with a "What happened afterwards video" that rolls during the ending credits while set to cheesy 1970s love songs, thus completely distracting you from all the names of the cast and crew who were in the movie you just watched. :D
And so the story came to a close as a still image of Arctic and James frantically running away from an angry Krystal and Nik who are not far behind them...while the chorus to Eddie Money's "Take Me Home Tonight" plays at full blast in the back ground. Then Boston's "More Than a Feeling" plays through the rest of the story.
Nik and Krystal managed to catch Arctic and James...but Arctic promptly tasered both of them and managed to flee to Newfoundland with James.
Nik asked Krystal to marry him. She said yes...but only after a DNA test proved he was 51% fox and 49% wolf, therefore not making him a folf. What she didn't know was that he bribed the lab technicians with his share of money he got from the porn flick he did with Krystal. And so shortly after their wedding they went on their honeymoon. And then they both found out that they had contracted AIDS, as Krystal had been having unprotected sex with various fans and creatures since her appearance in the Star Fox universe. And so Nik and Krystal died of AIDS a few weeks later and went to hell for licensing fraud. Oh wait...misread that. They went to FURRY hell, which looked something like this...
"Damn it, why won't this fricken door open!" Nik screamed as he clawed at the door to his and Krystal's hotel room.
"Baby, don't worry about it. Now get back in bed!"
"Krystal, baby, please...I have yiffed you...NON-STOP...for TWO eternities now. Can't we please take a break? My balls feel like they're gonna fall off."
"Yeah, well my pussy has been in heat for two eternities and it doesn't feel like taking a break. So quit your bitching and get back inside me, or I'm going to tie you to the headboard and shove this foot long horse dick dildo so far up your butt that I could give it a blowjob if I French kissed you. GET IT?" Krystal growled.
Nik's eyes just went wide and his ears flattened across his head. He then panicked and began feverishly clawing at the door, only to have Krystal roll her eyes and drag him by his tail back into the comfy queen sized bed...with him giving a long high pitched fox wolf whine the whole time as his nails dug into the carpet and ripped it up as he went.
As for Daniel, his having the Asian sounding username Yukigo Kurosaki saved his life. By being Asian, he was surprisingly good at math and was able to beat the odds and NOT contract AIDS even though Krystal raped him. He would go on to marry Aya-Chan and move to Florida with her where he became a councilor to rape victims. His only grievance was that by being from New York he was totally unprepared for the scorching Miami summers, and so he frequently passed out from heat stroke.
Arctic and James also contracted AIDS from sleeping with Krystal, but then they became national heroes after they cured themselves the South Park way by injecting $180,000 into their bloodstreams. They then used their wealth and fame acquired from their Krystal sex tape to get parts in the movie Jackass 4: Son of Jackass with Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera. Tragically, they both died in an accident while filming a stunt of them going couch surfing, as the rope dragging a tattered old couch behind James's F-150 snapped, catapulting Arctic and James into oncoming traffic and breaking every single bone in their bodies. They also went to furry hell for rape, tax evasion, and not donating any of their money to help other AIDS victims. However, they arrived in hell shortly after a terror attack killed hundreds of people a Eurofurrence, and so they had to be squeezed in with some other furs and...
"ARCTIC! Shut up and quit narrating the story for two seconds," Nik shouted at me.
"Hey, I'm trying to explain to everyone on how James and I got stuck in the same hotel room as you and Krystal," I replied back to him.
James was sitting on the couch with me scarfing down Vanilla Coke and Doritos while watching Krystal make good on her earlier threats. He looked over at me and said, "You know, for hell this place isn't so bad."
"SHUT THE FUCK UP JAMES!" Nik cried. "Listen, Arctic, James, one of you, PLEASE for the love of God will one of you just fuck Krystal for two minutes! I need a break! It literally hurts to yiff her now! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE?!"
"Can't say that I do," I said. "But James and I are practicing Catholics so we'd be violating our religious creeds if we yiffed your wife."
"SCREW YOUR RELIGION DUDE! WE'RE ALREADY IN HELL!"
"Oh ho I beg to differ mate," I chuckled while opening up a fresh can of Coke.
"Hey Arctic," Krystal said to me as she stuffed a ball gag in Nik's mouth and checked to make sure his cuffs weren't too tight, "Get the stereo for me will yah?"
I pointed at her and winked, "You got it," I said while clicking my tongue. I then leaned over to the iHome stereo system on the table and fired up what I felt was an appropriate song for the situation.
"TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT! I DON'T WANNA LET YOU GO TILL YAH SEE THE LIGHT! TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT! LISTEN HONEY JUST LIKE RONNIE SAID; 'BE MY LITTLE BABY!'"
Ahhh, nothing like Eddie Money for a good story outro. Well that's about it everyone. G'night! ^_^