FSE

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As usual, thanks to DukeFerret and psydrosis for proofreading and editing.

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Chapter Six

Well

Rodney stopped so fast it made the button on his shirt swing. The fountain's waters shone bright blue, the streams pouring down from the top of its five pyramid layers. The fur jutted up the lynx's spine as if its cold shower roiled down, down, down. A rising filled up his chest that he'd never admit to out loud. One that comes with a lost face in his life taking shape again.

It means nothing if you just walk away, that gut feeling said. Though his eyes were impossibly innocent. Shimmering, like the waters. Something about them screamed "hungry". His tie was missing and his hair was a mess, and for not a second did it matter to either of them.

"Miles, I'm...," Rodney stammered, gawking in disbelief. "I'm stoked! I'm so glad you could be here!"

The lynx stood as stiff as a lighthouse. "Just here for a meeting." His voice was a thousand miles away.

"Well, that's it for our deal," Harvey nodded, standing straight but relaxed, an image unfamiliar to his raccoon friend. "I'll sort the financials out later. If you have any questions whatsoever, you know where to find me. Thank you so much for your time, dude!"

"Right," Miles nodded with a smile. "thank you!"

And Harvey was off with a wave-one that would've been a peace sign in any other scenario-leaving the other two alone. The raccoon and lynx stood with their hands in their pockets but said nothing as the shimmering spouts constructed their ambience. The flat ground of grey, red and bourbon patterns led out to the benches in the perimeters, and the buildings towered just inches from them.

"So, you met Harvey, huh?" Rodney beamed, walking over to his side. "That guy's my dude. Aw man, you should see his crib. He's got the whole place decked out with eighties stuff passed down from his-"

Miles' glare shut his jaw.

"Yeah, uh, far out!" Rodney babbled, offering a congenial handshake. "Name's Rodney!"

The lynx's eye twitched as he watched the outstretched arm before him. A part of him instinctively wanted to look over to the Pod in his hand, but he stuffed it in his pocket instead. It was almost the end of the day, anyway, and on top of that, nobody was around. In his inspection he found the fountain's lowest ring of limestone, borders of it dampened, but still low enough to sit. As he did, he dropped his shoulders.

"How've you been?" Rodney asked with the tenderness of greeting an elderly cat in a hospital bed.

"Good," Miles said flatly. "Good." He cleared his throat and shook his head. "Scored a really nice deal, actually. Confidential. Thought I could stretch my horizons with Harvey, and it went pretty stellar."

"Harvey's a swell guy," Rodney agreed, "but I asked how you're doing,"

"That is how I'm doing," Miles bit back. "I feel alive."

Rodney found the thought hilarious. He raised his paws and looked around, seeing nothing but buildings, as if a crowd were laughing with him, but not a single person occupied this park.

"That's it?" he asked hysterically. "Alive? Alive means everything, man! Existing? Neutral? Perfect?"

"Emotions are complicated," Miles sighed humorlessly.

Rodney looked at the sky, swallowing hard. He took a deep sigh, and for a moment, it filled him with relief. "You know, back when I was a kid, me and Harvey used to run here after Tier Four let out," he said. "We always thought this place was cooler than the little pint-sized playground they had back in our hood. There's mega-open space, y'know, it looks a little smaller now, but to us munchkins, it was like, gargantuan!"

Miles' blank stare offered no encouragement for Rodney to continue his story.

Nonetheless, he tried. "I remember this one time we only had enough credits for one orange pop in the vending machine. We decided whoever ran all the way here and touched the fountain first would get it. Scared the bejeezus out of our parents, running off like that. In fact, we played that game even when we had credits, it's...." He snickered, scratching an itch on his muzzle. "Wow, that really doesn't make any sense at all, does it?" Sighing loudly, he stretched his back. "Kids...."

"You ran from two Districts over to go to a fountain?" Miles asked, ears finally perking in attention. "And the teachers just let you go?"

"Never saw us," Rodney said, waving a flat paw. "The bell rang, and we were outta there."

Miles nodded in mild understanding. "It is a nice fountain."

"Sure is."

Its beauty took their attention for a good while, the breeze shuffling them with it. Beneath it came the mutual vow of silence; a spectre that loomed over a conversation and turned any place into an empty room. And with it came that sinking feeling of drowning. Though Rodney was sure that only one of them was sinking. He nodded and waded his way to the other side of the fountain, took his seat, and solemnly looked in front of him to the row of skyscrapers before him. All of their windows were curtained. A place that reminded him of what his view used to be. He thought about that for a while. Mostly on purpose.

"Well," Rodney said. "You can go now."

Miles scratched the back of his neck idly.

"Dead serious," Rodney followed up. "You had no problem running away last time. You wanna do it again, I'll most definitely leave you alone."

Once again, he heard nothing. Miles was there, but he wasn't moving. His stiff posture faltered as the tail of his sports coat barely grazed the water.

Rodney pursed his lips, now angry at himself. "I'm sorry, that was kinda petty. Look...." Deep sigh. "You made me hella anxious when you left. Hardly knew what to do with myself. Usually I'd call Harvey and ask him what to do, but he was asleep, and I didn't get a wink. I'm jealous, man. 'Cause now, you get to do that, too."

"This...isn't how meetings work," Miles mumbled.

"Please don't talk about meetings," Rodney pleaded. "You wanna make me say it? I'm not okay. I sleep twelve hours a day, and I'm still exhausted. I don't know what's wrong with me, I should be following your advice, but my mind is so blank it's like it wants to be like that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. I let you down, and I'm sorry."

For once, he turned his head, but he sensed not a movement. The wind whistled as he lost himself again.

"I mean, maybe you're right, maybe I am broken," he whimpered. "Your whole life is some fairytale shit to me, and you made it all by yourself. And what do I do with my time?" He paused, repressing sadness. "I sit around, watch movies and jerk off!"

He perched his elbows on his knees and sulked into his paws, lost in his disappointment. It sounded like he was whispering to himself over there, but Miles couldn't hear it.

"Are you here for advice?" Miles interjected.

"I don't even know, dude!" Rodney whined. "I'm just some space cadet runnin' his muzzle. You were right to leave me."

Miles listened to the flowing water behind him as he thought carefully.

"I didn't say you were broken, Rodney," he hushed. "I just thought you needed help. People don't last long without a job around here. Maybe they don't want it, maybe it isn't the best thing they asked for, but that's Uquaria for you."

"This is not the Miles I met in that room."

"The Miles you met in that room is not the same one that built a five-digit Social Credit, can we at least agree on that?"

Rodney gripped the side of the fountain. "I don't believe you."

Miles sighed into his arm. Part of him was becoming aggravated, but it wasn't the time. It was never the time.

"You think I'm abusive, don't you?" he said even softer. "That's what you believe?"

"What matters to you more, dude?" Rodney asked. "Your Social Credit or your heart?"

"I don't understand the question."

"Do you even see a difference?"

Miles felt an icy tinge spread throughout his veins. It was tough to figure out if the thought had poisoned him, or that's simply how it always was, and he just found the wound. They had a history of that, already. The question now was what could remove that dark, toiling silence rolling between them.

"You're still here?" Rodney asked.

Miles nodded. "Mhm."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to leave you like this."

"As if. You've got stuff to do."

"Yes, and I'm sure my father will get on my ass for this, but it's been a busy day already."

Smiling meekly, Rodney snickered and shook his head, putting a hand to his heart, accidentally pulling his loose shirt button down another inch.

"At least you have one."

Miles felt the anvil hit him in the gut again, like that spectre of silence had turned around and took a swing at him for a change.

"I'm sorry for your loss," he said.

"It's all right," Rodney sighed, messing with the button now. "It was a workplace accident. I think I was either fifteen or sixteen when Dad got into Tier One. You should've seen how happy he was. I mean, really, it'd probably help, if that's where you wanna go, because a year later, something messed up at the energy plant, and he kicked the bucket."

Miles was stunned. "I'm so sorry."

"You already said that, dude, I..." Rodney laughed half-heartedly, "This is why I'm worried for you. Dad kept to himself day in, day out, and all I could think of that night was how you sounded just like him. Is that the reputation you're fighting for, man?"

"With all due respect, your father and I were fighting for very different things."

"But what about the people you'll leave back here, dude?" Rodney asked. "You said you don't have friends, but I don't believe that. There's nobody you'd miss?"

"No, please, I...." Miles begged, sighing. "I left them all in the past where they belong."

"So the plan now is just to leave a big hole, right? Where all your friends should be? I tried to fill that one for you, and you pushed me away."

"I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

Miles cursed under his breath. "Scared that you'd figured me out."

Finally the rise in nerves was overtaking the pain.

"I haven't figured out anything," Rodney responded.

And those nerves found their way out.

"Rodney," Miles said, "I thought I was straight before I met you."

In response, his jaw dropped. He had never considered it to be a problem, nor had he met anybody who acted like that. Though beyond his wildest expectations, the crack in Miles' tone was that of a broken man.

"Every single day," he went on, "and every single night, I never questioned it. Not a single time. Until you came in and shook everything up in ten seconds. You act like I stopped thinking about you!"

He chuckled in his own disbelief now, burying his face in his hands.

"I mean, what is this, am I perfect?" he smiled. "Am I supposed to just spend a whole night with a completely new person out of nowhere and then just move on like it never happened?" He silently laughed at the thought. "I'm dying over here. You were so gentle and kind to me, and..." A whimper tailed off his last word. "And I took all that and I crushed it."

For that long, agonizing moment, they could feel the dissonance between them. Rodney tried to fix his coat, and once again snagged the button that'd been loose for some time. Now it hung from a long, thin string.

"Love requires a different kind of work," Miles finally gulped, his mind going blank for a moment. "And for all the days I spend cooped up in that office...for all the things in my life, practically begging me to stay...it feels like..."

Long pause.

"...like I haven't earned it. And that kills me, Rodney. It kills me."

He scraped his foot across the pavement, leaning so far back he swore he could feel a stream grace the tip of his ear. An invisible presence pressed over his chest, like a ghostly cape that wrapped to the front.

"I still have feelings for you, man," Rodney said. "We can start this over."

"If nothing else," Miles hesitated, "I need to apologize."

Rodney scowled at the ground, rising to his feet.

"Then say it to my face."

They rose up together, slowly turning, now finally making a painful exchange of eye contact. By then, the wind had kicked up enough to flow through the cuffs of their pants. Miles took a deep breath, and spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Rodney stood as stalwart as him as the next deep breath he took felt like slithering through a crack. Now he approached him, ever so slowly with each step. Miles followed suit. The gap slowly closed until they were in each other's arms, squeezing tightly as the button on Rodney's shirt finally slipped, ricocheting off the blocks, plinking right into the waters beneath them.