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What a day.

I stared at myself in the mirror of my bathroom. Having just got out of the shower, my wet mane fell in brown locks over my shoulders.

Part of me was tired, Scott had worn me out me with the sex we'd already had.

But there was more, and though exhausted I had such a strong longing for this treatment I couldn't resist more.

Needed it.

Needed to push myself again.

To feel so many things I hadn't felt in so long and messing around with Scott was a perfect remedy.

Tonight we'd go to a bar, he'd get me drunk and slam me in the venue.

I was ecstatic as I dried and dressed myself up.

A collared tan satin shirt that was almost feminine, one of my favorites to wear out. With the top button left undone it showed enough of my pecs to get a guy's attention. These last few months I'd grown irregular with my gym routine, but I could hardly tell the difference that had made so far.

I was still as muscular as usual, maybe lacking the definition I once had but with my build as lithe as it was it hardly noticeable.

I wore black skinny jeans that left nothing to the imagination and smiled at myself in the mirror as I stuck my ass back to catch the shape of my body in profile. My tail swished to the side, it was good to feel sexy again, so damn good.

In the cabinet behind the mirror I looked over my collection of perfumes and colognes before settling on an intensely citrus chypre that had a warm, florid body. As I sprayed it through my mane and breathed deep the familiar scent, the most barren parts of me woke up from a deep slumber. It wasn't one I wore often when going to bars, where I tended to go for muskier, animalic scents that gave a sluttier impression.

But this was one I knew Scott liked and no matter how selfishly he'd encouraged me to act, I still wanted to do what I could to help him enjoy tonight even more.

As I finished getting ready, Cam dogged my thoughts.

I wasn't sure what I wanted.

Him to be happy, of course. But that couldn't come at the cost of my own happiness, as it had. Though neither of us were currently content, I did need a break from him.

Only I wasn't sure if I was meant to tell him that quite yet?

It hadn't even been a full day. I could wake up tomorrow morning in a better state of mind, then we could talk about things again. In fact, I was sort of banking on that being true. An over the top day with Scott to clear my head, then I would get down to business.

I just wasn't convinced Cam would.

Perhaps if he didn't, I could float the idea of a break.

..and then what?

I wasn't really sure what I was doing with myself anymore. Prior to my relationship with Cam I was mostly focused on finding my feet as an adult and helping him find his. I was pretty confident I'd handled most of my own stuff by now. I was 26 and had both feet on the ground for the most part.

These last eleven months I'd focused on trying to find my comfort in this relationship, thinking I was setting myself up for the future. For a good while that was going well.

But considering the prospect of a break was baffling. Not having Cam, not wanting Cam, not being around Cam, it wasn't really something I ever really prepared myself for, even before this relationship. We used to stick to each other like glue, our friendship was deep and prior to him opening up I'd always wanted to explore something more with him.

But having that now... yeesh.

It was hard to imagine what I would fill my spare time with if not him.

Strangers, of course.

But we lived in a remote town. There really weren't all that many strangers here, and even fewer who'd let me into their beds.

There were always truckers but I preferred a night getting to know someone a little better, not a rushed romp in a truck cabin.

Maybe the prospect of having nothing made it easier to want to be with Cam.

Or maybe that was just a comfortable lie I told myself over and over. Maybe there was something better for me.

And maybe I should seriously be considering what that could be.

If I was giving advice to anyone else, I'd encourage them to start thinking on it sooner rather than later no matter what happened.

So then why was that so difficult for me to do for myself?

I could only draw mental blanks when examining what a life without Cam would look like for me.

I frowned at the mirror, I was getting ahead of myself.

What would a life on break from Cam look like?

Hook ups, a lot of them.

More time with Rob and Scott, probably.

Hopefully more time with my other friends, though that could get weird since I shared them with Cam.

I guess I could get my gym routine back under control?

I sighed.

Was I really that boring? I didn't have anything like Scott had with his motorbike. A hobby I could lean on to keep me busy. Hook ups were the closest thing for me, and though I did put a lot of effort into them they didn't really help me grow.

I'd always suckered up to others who had that and enjoyed listening to them. I was good at getting people to open up and I was never afraid of wading into the muck in someone's head if I felt I could help them.

My frown deepened as an idle thought pestered me.

It was easy to suggest Cam had been my project. The thing that kept me busy. The thing that I told myself mattered most.

He had the most muck in his head out of anyone I'd ever known and for seemingly no reason. I'd always been drawn to that and it probably wasn't a healthy obsession.

I sighed.

If I were any smarter I really should've focused on becoming a therapist like I'd once wanted to be.

But that was a difficult, expensive path I wasn't certain was right. And this last year had made me want it less because it was so clear I couldn't handle myself as well as I'd once believed.

I winced.

Maybe I could just get out of here.

Go travelling, see the world, meet all sorts of new people.

I'd like that. In fact, I craved that. But with Cam around, it didn't feel feasible.

So maybe I could look forward to that on a potential break.

A vibration shook me from my trance.

My phone rang.

My heart skipped a beat as I reached for it, unprepared if it was Cam.

But as I saw Scott's name I eased up.

"Hey." A grin grew on my face.

"Say I took you to Fo's tonight?" Scott spoke deadpan.

I cocked my head, eyes wide.

Fo's Waterhouse was not the sort of establishment you fucked your friend in.

It was the most upmarket bar in our town and it wasn't even close. Drinks cost almost twice as much there, but quality was all they served.

"I'm game." I glanced at my outfit once over, it was dressy but was it dressy enough for Fo's? "But why?"

Scott laughed through the phone. "Because you're such a perverted slut that I wanna blow a load in you everywhere." Hunger stained his voice.

Arousal warmed me through. The suggestion that this could happen with some frequency was beyond attractive.

"In that case, anywhere," I said. "Anytime."

He clicked his tongue. "Been staring at that photo we took at the mall all afternoon. Fuck man, middle of a god damn food court?" He laughed again. "Think you awakened something in me. I'm used to fucking around the forest with Rob but god damn of course I wanna rail you at Fo's fucking Waterhouse. Fuck." Hearing him so assertive was surprising. He'd always had a bit more of a backbone, but he was typically submissive and easy going. Just eager for most sexual contact whenever, however. But with me, he tended to use a bit more force.

But never like this.

And damn, did I want even more of it.

He exhaled slowly. "This is going to be the stupidest thing I ever do."

"Aye. I'm with you there." I bit my lip, trying to dampen my smile to no avail.

"Then I'm glad we're in this together." He spoke with good humor in his voice. "I just got home. I'll come grab you in 30?"

"See you then."

I was a ball of excitement.

Could hardly focus as I finished getting ready, it was like I was born anew with the energy I'd suppressed around Cam. I went so far as to work some braids into my mane, short ones that helped frame my face. Something I hadn't done since my first proper date with Cam.

I stared at myself in the mirror, ecstatic.

I looked good, I smelled great.

But more importantly, I felt free.

As soon as Scott called to let me know he'd arrived, I bounded out of my apartment and raced down to the street.

He was resting against his motorbike in a faded brown leather jacket over a maroon shirt and dark jeans that were free from the usual tears and grease smears.

"Well shit." He stared at me, slack-jawed. "Don't think I've ever seen you cleaned up proper." He caught me in his arms and planted a kiss on my muzzle. He breathed in my perfume and rumbled as he held me tighter. He smelled of smoky cedar with the faintest touch of motor oil. "You're beautiful."

"Aww, thank you." I nuzzled his neck. "And you're real handsome." I purred against him.

"Thanks." He exhaled as he relaxed further against me. "Bad time to remind you what we're actually doing tonight?"

I chuckled. "Good time, actually. Let's get to it."

He broke the hug and swung around on his bike. I climbed on behind and held him tight as he kicked into gear and tore off.

Fo's Waterhouse sat on the western end beside the river that encircled our town.

The original pumpshed it took its name from was out front with a memorial plaque for Fo, who had settled here years ago.

I'd only been here a few times before for special occasions, it was a place Cam and I had talked about coming to for a date night but never followed through and in a way, it felt fitting I was here now with Scott. The man who'd freed me from the trap my headspace had been tangled in with Cam.

The bar itself was a squat establishment dressed up with all the grandeur it could muster. A crisscross of black and gold tiles underfoot with mahogany panels lining the walls created a swanky atmosphere. Cozy lighting, the endless rumble of conversation and a live pianist only added to the luxury.

Scott threw his arm around my shoulder as he led me to the bar. He whistled. "Been close to a decade since I've been here. It's changed, maybe a bit too decadent."

"What was the occasion?"

"Rob's 40th."

Recognition clicked in my head. There was a picture Rob had shown me a dozen times now from his 40th of him and Scott kissing passionately. That night was important to both of them, so it did make me feel a tad special that Scott had chosen to bring me here. I wasn't sure he'd even thought of the sentiment, that this was a place of some emotional significance to him.

I hoped tonight night might carry something meaningful for him too.

We took a seat at the bar, he cast me a sidewards glance.

"Whats your poison? Like, your actual poison. What fucks you up sideways?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"Absinthe."

"Yikes." He chuckled and raised a hand to grab the bartender's attention. "Two Death in the Afternoons," he ordered us a cocktail that mixed absinthe and champagne.

Excitement stirred anew within me. I was cautious when drinking heavy, but tonight I'd down anything Scott ordered and whatever happened, would happen.

The prospect of spending a night on a bathroom floor upping my guts was somehow more appealing than another night tucked up alongside Cam silently nursing grievances.

The bartender placed two champagne flutes in front of us, full of an almost milky green liquid. The slightly herbal, woody scent of the spirit stood out over the more muted notes of the wine. It was strong.

Scott lifted his glass, an eager smile on his face. "For the finest whore I've ever had the honor of spoiling."

I chuckled and we clinked our glasses together.

I took a careful sip.

The taste of anise from the absinthe stole my breath.

I winced, my stomach seized up preemptively.

"Lotta bad memories drinking this stuff." I poked out my tongue.

"Time to make some good ones then." Scott smacked his lips and stared at the glass. "Not had it much. It's alright, bit weird." He gulped a bigger mouthful and snorted. "Feels wrong to drink champagne like this."

I sipped it again, nodding.

"Can you do shots?" he asked.

I came close to a spit take. "If you're like, trying to kill me sure."

He tilted his head. "Can you do shot, singular?"

I screwed up my face. "I guess? It's really not the kind of thing you..." I went quiet.

He was already ordering.

Two shot glasses of the green spirit landed before us.

"There's no way you took me to Fo's to get me shitfaced on pure absinthe."

He smirked and leant in to whisper in my ear. "I took you to Fo's to get you drunk and fuck you." His hand fell to my thigh, which he gave a rough squeeze before pulling back. Warmth flickered through my loins.

I stared at him a moment, my finger circling the rim of the shot glass. "Fair point."

I threw it back, spluttering.

It was so strong it burned sharp and acrid as it went down.

The flavors of sharp fennel, anise and some indiscernible botanicals stuck to every surface of my mouth.

"Fuck," I croaked and reached for my other drink. It was mostly champagne, which didn't really help but at least it wasn't straight absinthe. Scott laughed and raised his shot, he sniffed it once and winced before he downed it.

"Faaah." He pawed at his throat. "That's strong."

I nodded, quietly sucking in a breath.

"That'll hit like a fucking truck." He wheezed.

All I could manage was another nod before he was signalling the bartender for another round.

I stared, incredulous.

Scott shot me a leery wink. "Last one," he said. "Promise."

My sensibilities vanished very quickly after the second shot.

I didn't have much of a tolerance to alcohol and certainly not absinthe. But I was comfortable and that's what mattered. He also stopped ordering shots and moved us onto progressively weaker drinks as the night went on.

I have no clue how long we sat at the bar, talking and drinking but the hubbub around us started to fade. People went home, the piano stopped.

I was so drunk he had to keep stopping me from swaying off of my stool.

But he leant against me with his arm around my waist. "Wanna find someplace quiet?" he slurred the words together.

"Yeah." I stood without falling, somehow. Though I wasn't sure where we should go. There wasn't really a discrete location nearby besides the bathroom, which, eh. Drunkards can't be choosers.

Arousal coursed through me as I led Scott to the bathroom. This indulgence was so invigorating. I needed this release.

Pristine marble surfaces surrounded us, the air tinted with a faint floral twist.

Unquestionably it was the nicest bar bathroom I'd ever been in. But we weren't here to gawk at the scenery.

Scott shoved me towards the closest stall. I stumbled forward, laughing in my drunkenness.

This would be fun.

My head spun as Scott slammed me against the side of the stall. I giggled, vision shifting as my brain slowly caught up.

His fingers tightened on the back of my head. "This dirty enough for you?" He growled into my mane. A low moan slipped out of me as I nodded against the hard surface. "'Course it is, you--"

"Hey!" A sharp voice sounded outside our stall.

Scott's head whipped back. He laughed, having not closed the door to our stall.

"What do you think you're doing?"

My heart beat fast in my chest. I leant back against Scott, unsure what to do.

"Never seen a slut get railed?" Scott asked. No answer came. "Aw c'mon. He'll suck your dick."

I giggled, a smile on my face as I nodded.

They stepped into my line of sight, a stag in a suit.

"You can't do this here." The stag spoke with firm authority.

My heart sunk.

He was a bathroom attendant.

We'd picked the one establishment in our entire town posh enough to have a bathroom attendant.

"And what is it we're doing?" Scott slurred back in response.

The stag tilted his head. "Railing a slut, apparently." He peered at us, leaning against the door to the bathroom stall and blocking off our only exit. He was dressed in a white button up shirt with a black bowtie, though his rippling muscles weren't too well contained by the uniform. As my gaze poured over him, he stared at my face.

"Must've misheard." Scott pushed me forward. I stumbled and caught myself against the stag's strong frame. He towered over me. "I said he was giving you a treat."

"Yeah," I added, head spinning as I pressed my fingers into the stag's arms and nuzzled his chest. To my surprise, he didn't step back. In fact, he leant into me.

A shiver went down my spine in anticipation.

"And why's that worth me risking my job?" He put a hand around my body, caressing the small of my back.

"Bet you woulda thrown us out by now if that was what you were worried about." Scott smirked.

The stag chuckled dryly. "You got me." He pushed into the stall and swung the door shut behind him. "Maybe I like this slut of yours." He licked his lips. "You were going to fuck him?"

"Yeah," Scott said.

Something fierce lit up the stag's face. "Well you're not anymore." He traced his hand down my arm and grabbed me by the wrist. He tugged my paw to his crotch. "You sit down and watch me take him. Complain and I turn you both in."

"Uh. No, that--"

"No more warnings." The stag huffed.

Scott clamped his mouth shut, gave a shallow nod and sat on the lid of the toilet.

The stag's other hand snaked up my back and grabbed a fistful of my mane. He leant forward and kissed me, his tongue shoved rough into my mouth. I tried to lean away, surprised but he stepped into me. "Take my cock out and suck it, whore." He growled into my mouth.

It only took me a moment to adjust to his aggression.

I was game.

I fumbled with his fly as I unzipped it and tugged both his pants and briefs down.

He was only semi-erect and already as big as Scott.

I gawked a moment, he misread it as hesitation.

"Too big for you?" He pushed my head down towards it. "It's not even hard yet."

My brain kicked into gear.

I knew his type, knew how to work his buttons.

"Does it get bigger?" I asked with a touch of uncertainty.

"It does." He rubbed his cock against my lips.

I gave a soft moan as I licked his tip.

He loosed a deep rumble and put more pressure on the back of my head. I gasped as I opened my mouth to take him. He tasted so strong, salty and something darker. Something curious. I swept my tongue up the underside of his cock, the masculine scent of his body made me shiver. He grunted and gripped the sides of my face.

His cock swelled in my mouth as it hardened, growing wide enough to be a bit of a struggle. I moaned as I slurped on his length. He was almost ten inches. I worked my way down another inch and stared up at him.

"You like big dick?" the stag asked.

I gave a slight nod, grunting as I went even further down on him.

"Bet you want it up your ass, hmm?" He sounded so certain he was going to get what he wanted. I replied with a moan. He tore his gaze away from mine to look at Scott. "Start eating him out, get him ready for me."

Without any hesitation Scott started tugging at my pants.

My cock throbbed as he freed it.

The warm and wet feel of his tongue against my asshole sent a rush of pleasure through me. I groaned against the stag's dick and shuddered as Scott went at me harder.

The stag's pre coated my mouth, sweet but laced with that darker flavor of his masculinity. I tensed as I pushed forward and pressed my nose into his pubes.

He groaned. "Yeah. Fuck yeah." His voice cut to a low growl. I bobbed dutifully on his shaft, the motion almost too disorienting to keep up. He reached for his pocket and pulled out his phone. "Look at me," he spoke harsh as he snapped a dozen photos of me. "You gunna purr for me slut?"

I shut my eyes as I purred, the vibrations of my body made him groan even louder. The sounds of his pleasure and Scott rimming me made a bead of precum leak from my cock. This had gotten more intense than I'd thought and drunk out of my mind there wasn't a thing more I could hope for.

I wanted to please this man. Wanted him to fire up even more.

"You lions are all the same." He pocketed his phone and leant forward to wrap an arm around my skull. "Look so fucking tough with your manes and your muscles but all you want is a fat cock to put your in your place." He bit my ear, his blunt teeth hurt. I gasped.

He held my head firm and thrust into my muzzle.

I coughed and spluttered.

He slammed in again, his heavy balls slapped against my chin.

I gagged.

He ripped his cock from my lips.

My head was spinning as I heaved in a quick breath before he leant forward.

"Choke on it." The stag's cock stretched my jaws as he forced it to the hilt. I winced back a retch, expecting a moment's respite.

It never came.

He pounded my face hard and heavy, faster than even I could keep up with. The bathroom filled with my gulps and groans as he fucked my face.

I braced as long as I could handle, but it hurt. This sort of thing I usually built up to slower, I needed to breathe. I tried to yank back, and at the slightest touch of resistance he released me. I fell back against Scott, coughing and heaving deep breaths. The bear caught me in his arms and held me tight, his heart was thumping in his chest.

The stag stood over us, his cock messy with strands of my spit and his pre. My muzzle was damp with it.

"Stand up," he said.

Scott was hesitant to release me as I pushed from his paws. I stumbled to my feet, swaying where I stood. Lightheaded and woozy but certain this was still something I wanted.

"Turn around."

I rest my hand against the wall of the stall as I turned and bent over, ass up towards the stag.

Scott cradled my head in his lap, his fingers brushed gently through my mane. Was he shaking a little? I was about to ask but the stag slapped my rump with a meaty thwack. I grunted at the pain, he left his hand against my cheek and squeezed it hard.

"Be honest." He spread my cheeks and made a deep sound. "You ever been with a guy as big as me?"

His finger circled my asshole, taunting me with restraint. My body tingled, I moaned. "No." It was a lie. If he knew me in the slightest there wasn't a chance he'd believe me.

But he was just some dude horny enough to screw a drunk on his shift. He'd believe anything that'd stroke his ego and my reward for doing so was his lust.

The thick head of his cock prodded between my cheeks.

I moaned in anticipation and clenched fists.

His warm hands spread my ass. He inched forward, then stopped. "I want you to beg."

"Fuck me." My voice came weak and breathy, still recovering from how hard he'd fucked my face. "Please. Shove it in."

Scott rubbed at my ears. The stag gripped my tail and tugged me flush against his cock.

"I need your cock." And maybe those words were true, but I'd never found this sort of thing that hot on my end. I had to bite back a chuckle over how silly I sounded. That mock desperation didn't come out sounding convincing with how wasted I was.

But he was into it.

He exhaled, the sound so deep and bothered. He pressed the fat tip of his cock against my hole and groaned as he started to enter.

I shuddered and huffed into Scott's chest as the stag pushed in further.

He was a lot to take.

One of his hands crawled up my back to grab me by the shoulder. His other pulled firm on my tail. I bared teeth as blunt pain swept my belly. He kept sinking deeper into me and all I could do was whimper and brace against Scott until I felt his fuzzy nuts against my taint.

Dizzy, I fumbled for a better grip on Scott's shirt.

The stag groaned over me, his hand on my shoulder tightened as he pulled back. I squirmed at the motion, his cock dredged pleasure out of me amid the pain as I adjusted and relaxed into it. He started slow with careful and deliberate thrusts that left me gasping.

I wasn't usually so tight but these last few months with Cam... A surge of pleasure broke that thought.

He thrust into me harder and pulled back faster. I arched my back and moaned.

"You like that?" He slammed his hips against my ass, his balls slapped against my thighs. "I wanna hear it." He dropped my tail to slap my ass again. "You like this you nasty whore?"

"Uhuh." Was all I could manage as he picked up the pace again, his cock stabbed into me over and over. Too big, too thick for me to do anything but brace. I moaned louder, hoping it'd satisfy his demands. He exhaled heavy, his hand slipped down my back to feel me up.

"You feel so fucking good." He slowed for a brief moment, groaning as he rubbed himself deep within me. I gasped at every slight motion, the pleasure within me started to overcome the pain of his aggression. I whimpered, wanting took over me. I pushed back against him. He threw his head back and moaned as he started to pound me again. His balls slammed against my taint over and over and filled our stall with the sound of him fucking me raw.

I scrunched my eyes shut and buried my face in Scott's chest, trying to hold back the louder sounds of ecstasy.

Pleasure twisted my stomach. I shuddered and shook, rocking forward into Scott who held me firm as the stag kept thrusting.

Every problem I ever faced felt so distant.

This moment held complete catharsis.

"Harder." My voice curled in pleasure.

The stag huffed, his hips smacked my ass with enough force to make me grunt. His cock speared joy through me as he brushed my prostate with every hump. Pre oozed from my cock and fell in wildly swinging strands beneath me.

I wanted to reach down and jerk myself but it took all I was to hold onto Scott and stop myself from screaming. My rushed breaths were making me lightheaded. This moment was too overwhelming.

I groaned loud as an orgasm broke my resolve. I crumpled as two massive spurts of cum coated the tiles beneath me. I went limp in Scott's arms, a breath in the storm of passion the stag pressed into me. He grunted, his hands slid down to hold onto my hips as he plowed me even harder still.

He started exhaling harder, the sound forced to a soft growl amid the slapping of his balls on my taint.

"Fuck," he muttered. "Fuuuck." His voice stretched. "Gunna cum." He shivered and bucked his hips, stabbing his cock right down to the hilt and growled.

His dick twitched within me and I felt his seed erupt through me. He moaned, his hands fell from my hips. He panted over me for a long moment.

"Fuck," he whispered under his breath and stepped back. "You." He pointed at Scott. "Clean me off." He pulled all the way out of me, his cock glistened with fresh cum. I stumbled away from them, reeling from my orgasm and the alcohol.

Scott's eyes lit up, he leant forward to lap up the stag's spunk.

And there we shared a heavy moment.

The stag and I were heaving breaths, staring at each other. He pushed Scott off of him and stuffed his cock back in his briefs before hiking his pants up.

"Clean up before you go." He nodded at the mess I'd made. "Whore." He snorted and left us in the stall.

Scott gave me an uneasy look and without a word, cleaned my orgasm off the floor and flushed it away.

"C'mon." He tapped my hip. "Pants up, we should go."

I blinked and covered up. He pulled me out of the stall, I kept swaying as I stepped.

The stag was standing by the sinks, staring at us with a smug look on his face. If not for the sweat matting his fur there was no tell he'd just fucked someone on his shift.

"You know, I'm off work in an hour. Hang around, I could use a bedmate." He stepped closer to me, his hand fell on my shoulder possessively. "And you could use some stretching out."

"Mmm." Scott tried to move between us. "Gotta get this slut home to his boyfriend."

"Boyfriend?" The stag snickered. "That's a shame." He tapped a finger over my lips. "What's the point?"

I shrugged and took a step back, somewhat glad to be free of his hold.

He kept going. "If he's as much of a bitch as your friend there you're wasting your time."

I squinted at him, unsure if I should fire back with something or just leave. Part of me wanted to be offended by that statement but I just wasn't.

Scott cleared his throat. "We'll get going now." He put a hand around my shoulders and turned us both away.

The stag snorted as we left.

I should've said something more but I was too drunk to put words together, and in the moment I enjoyed being fussed over, this night was for me after all.

We stumbled silently towards the exit.

As soon as we were outside, Scott tugged me into a rough hug. "Dude, I'm so fucking sorry."

I welcomed the embrace with a touch of uncertainty. "Whatcha sorry for?"

"Didn't think tonight'd go like that."

"I liked it." I nuzzled his neck. "That guy was an asshole, but nice cock. Knew how to use it."

Scott scoffed. "Glad he didn't hurt you or something."

"Pff. Used to tame a guy like that every other week, it's cool."

He chuckled, the sound so full of relief. "Sure. Then I'm glad you had fun."

"I could go more if you--"

"Nah. Still all panicky." He stepped back from the hug, staring into my eyes. "Lemme take you home and we'll call it a night." There was something so warming in his gaze, I couldn't look away. I leant in to smooch him on the nose. He answered by kissing me firmly on the lips.

"Best day," I said. "Seriously. Best day," I slurred and stumbled as he led me towards his motorbike. "You good to drive?"

"Yeah, kinda sobered up on adrenaline freaking out." He rubbed at his nose. "Enough to get us both home at least."

"Crash on our couch, don't wanna have you biking back to Rob's this drunk this late."

He hesitated a moment. "Naw. I'll be right." He threw his leg over his bike.

I got on and sighed as I rest my head against his back.

The rush of arousal was tapering off.

Drunk and sluggish, I stared at the night lights as Scott drove us very carefully back to my place.

But the entire way, the stag's last words to me wouldn't leave my thoughts.

If he's as much of a bitch as your friend there you're wasting your time.

I was too drunk to really think those words through.

Did I believe them?

I didn't not believe them.

Was I apathetic? Or just uncertain?

Did they even mean anything to me or were they just the fiery whines of a fuckboy denied more sex?

I wasn't sure.

Scott pulled up outside my apartment. I held tight on his back, exhausted. Satisfied for the first time in so long.

"Really needed everything that happened today." I yawned, still slurring a little. I had to fight down a 'thank you'.

He laughed as he stood and put his hand behind my head to give me a dirty kiss. "More to come." He bit my upper lip.

I moaned into his chin as he pulled back.

"Good luck."

A tingle of dread rushed through my chest.

Cam.

Fuck.

I hadn't even told him I'd be out tonight.

Shit.

"It'll be fiiiine." I rose into a warm hug, unsure I believed those words. Scott lifted me and spun to drop me on the pavement.

"I'm going to rough you up tomorrow." He squeezed the front of my pants.

I chuckled, rubbing myself against him. "Good."

"Barge in on my work." He forced his lips against mine, growling as he kissed me. "See what happens." After that stag he did feel a little weak in his assertions.

I raised an eyebrow. "Keen." I stepped back, already missing the warmth of his body on this chilly night. "See you there."

"See you." He sat back down on his bike.

"Get back safe," I added.

He nodded, kicked his bike in gear and tore off.

I sucked in a long breath, trying to still my thoughts.

It'd be fine.

I was just coming home late, drunk the night after I slept on the couch for the first time in the middle of a relationship crisis.

I gulped as I headed into the apartment block.

Waiting for the elevator was killing me.

The walk down the corridor passed in a blur.

So suddenly I was fumbling my key into the lock.

The door clicked open.

I stepped into darkness. I paused, hand on the door as I shut it behind me and held my breath, ears keen for any sounds.

Cam was asleep.

I exhaled and slunk about the apartment as I got ready for bed.

I felt nauseous by the time I crept into the bedroom. Cam lay there, breathing steady in his rest.

I winced as I rustled into the sheets beside him.

A single moment of respite was all I was afforded.

"Had a good night?" he asked, tiredness masked something in his voice.

My heart sunk. "Yeah. How about you?" My head was spinning, this moment felt surreal. My heart still beat fast in my chest from that stag. I clamped down on an awkward chuckle that tried to escape.

"It was okay." He sighed. "Spent half the night wondering if I should be giving you space or freaking out you never told me where you were going."

"Oh."

"Mhm." He sighed again, heavier. "You uh, been drinking?"

"Yeah."

In the dim light, I saw him nod. He looked to me, his eyes twinkled dimly with moisture. I couldn't read the emotions on his face as they soured.

"I'm losing you." Cam's voice cracked.

I froze.

He sniffled, his breath came rushed and heavy. "I don't know what happened but I know I'm losing you. Why Trist? Why? What did I do? What do I need to do? Please, just tell me please." He sobbed.

My brain caught fire. Thoughts cascaded drunkenly through my mind. I couldn't speak. There were no words.

Wanted to protect him from this hurt.

But here it was.

What could I say now to minimize it?

I didn't know.

Couldn't think.

I tensed.

"Fuck." Heat rose in Cam's voice. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. FUCK." He shuddered. "I lost you already, didn't I?"

I shook my head.

He wasn't looking.

"Say something please." He shook as tears rolled down his face.

"I love you." Those words came as effortlessly as they used to. I meant it.

He inhaled, his face creased with heartache.

I rolled over to hold him.

He was usually so firm, so strong. Tonight he trembled like a leaf in a typhoon.

"How much did you drink tonight?" he muttered in my ear.

"Too much."

"You smell like someone else." His voice tightened. "Way more than normal. Who?"

I bit my lip. "Scott." It wasn't the full truth and I felt horrible about that.

He eased but only slightly. "Were you with them tonight?"

"No. Scott took me to a bar, without Rob." I was watching my words carefully and I hated it.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me against his chest, still shaking. "Is it because of me?" he asked.

I nodded, softly. My tongue felt bound but I could still force out an acknowledgement. "Mhm."

He went still.

I kept expecting him to speak, to say something.

But tears just flowed quietly.

"Spent all day with Scott." I added.

"He helping you?" Cam whispered.

"Mhm."

"You telling him about how shitty of a boyfriend I am?" Something fierce crept into his voice. "How unhappy I've made you? Hm? You think I didn't notice?" He gripped my shoulders tight.

I winced.

"I'm so fucking angry at myself." He growled through clenched teeth. "I didn't know what to do to fix it when you stopped telling me. I feel so fucking stupid and this is all my fault."

"It's not." I sighed. "Don't shout, please. It's not just your fault."

"Then what?"

"Can we please do this some other time?" I rubbed my snout against his neck. "I'm sorry. It's too much. I love you Cam and I fucked up too. But I do love you. I promise you." I lifted my head to kiss him on the lips.

The fight dropped out of him.

"I'm sorry." His voice went soft. "You can go sleep on the couch if you want to. Or I can if-"

I shook my head and hugged him tighter.

And that was all.

My heart was racing.

His was too.

I wanted him to creep his hand up my thigh.

State his intentions as he cupped my butt.

Start preparing me.

Something. Even after that stag I wanted him.

There were strong emotions wrapped around him that far surpassed anything a stranger could give me.

But he lay there, passive.

And I did too.

Only I knew if I told him to he would.

But I didn't.

I was too tired.

Too drunk to work my own thoughts out.

I don't know when either of us fell asleep, but we woke up still in each other's arms.

Those final thoughts from last night had chased me in my dreams.

I woke up hard as a rock, eager despite the slight hangover.

I could feel his morning wood against my hip.

I kissed his neck, gently.

His eyes flashed open.

His hand traced my spine.

I moaned softly against him.

He adjusted me so he could move his hips.

I curled tighter against him, breathing in his scent.

He shifted under me as he kissed my forehead.

I purred, entire body keen for his touch.

His claws brushed my shoulder.

My breath caught.

He leant back.

I frowned as he stood.

"I should get ready for work," he mumbled.

And that was all.

I lay there as he showered, verging on tears.

He came back to grab his clothes, shot me a wave and headed off.

There was no gesture of a kiss and coffee this morning, no trade of 'I love you's.

Not after last night.

A heavy sigh slipped my lips.

Things were changing and I wasn't ready for it.