FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

People use the phrase "retreating into a fantasy world" like it's a bad thing. But let us consider the real actual non-fantasy world for a moment, shall we?

When your super serious non fantasy life consisted of barely surviving high school, barely graduating from University with a useless degree, no friends, a family that you can't stand, and days spent doing a mind-numbing data entry job that paid you just enough to keep the lights on and the wifi running in a run-down shoebox of an apartment with a pantry full of beans, rice, instant noodles, and just enough frozen vegetables to prevent you from getting scurvy...

Well, that fantasy world sounds pretty nice, doesn't it?

My one stroke of good fortune, if you can call it that, is that my data entry job lets me work from home, and I happen to be really good at data entry. Some people are naturally gifted singers or artists or athletes; my talent is that I'm an absolute virtuoso with spreadsheets. I know, right? Get in line, ladies, and try not to flood your panties, the drainage around here sucks.

As a result of this, I have plenty of time to devote to my true passion in life: Fantasy role-playing games. And not just any of them. While I may be a pathetic loser in the real world, in my games, I can romance the pants off of any lady I desire. Sometimes literally! Although, honestly, it's not a sex thing. No, really. Sex is great and all (or so the internet tells me), but it's nothing compared to the thrill I get when I see more and more of those heart icons.

My latest conquest has been Meet Cute Dungeon: Romantic Fantasy RPG, a PC game by some obscure Japanese developer that doesn't seem to have done anything else. Very few people seem to have played it, which is a shame, because it's amazing. Yeah, the dungeon crawling was a little bit generic and by-the-numbers, but the romance routes were incredibly deep. And once I maxed out the first one I discovered and bedded Elizabeth, the lovestruck halfling heiress, I knew what I must do.

I was going to 100% the game. And when I say 100%, I mean it. Every route, every romance, every single heart. They were all going to be mine. And thus began the ultimate quest of Keith Sonicson, human bard and lover of ladies of every shape and size.

There were several character classes available, but I just had to go with bard. It had lower stats than every other class... except for one. If I was going to do this the way I wanted to do it, then I had a feeling that all that extra charisma was going to come in handy.

And thus, Keith's quest began in earnest.

It didn't help that no walkthroughs of the game seemed to exist. I could barely even find more people who had played it, let alone finished it. And even the rare ones who finished it had balked at the requirements to completely max out the game. For all I knew, I was going to be the first person to do it. Not that I cared. I wasn't doing this for any sort of external validation. I was doing this for me. Keith was the sort of person I always wanted to be. Attractive, smooth, quick-witted, and not to mention musically gifted. And I was determined to put him through his paces.

After 200 hours of wining, dining, and dungeoneering, I thought I was almost done. Imagine my surprise when I learned that the final boss of the game, Lady Violeta di Noctis, the centuries-old vampire, was to be my last challenge. My heart practically leapt out of my chest when I realized that she was romanceable. Doubly so when it became alarmingly clear that she was not going to make it easy on me.

It took a lot more work. I had to complete every other subquest in the game. I repaired all of the Ancient Shrines. I collected all 108 hidden reliquary fragments. And I even ventured to the very deepest of the secret dungeon to defeat the secret extra hard boss and collect the treasure that it guarded.

My heart caught in my chest as I watched the words unfurl across Lady Vi's dialog box.

"I can't believe it," she said. "You went all the way to the ruins of my ancestral homeland, risked death and dismemberment and who knows what else, and for what?" Then she put a hand to the side of her face and let out a laugh. "I knew you were a fool, mortal, but I had no idea how big of a fool you could be. What could possibly be worth venturing into that gods-forsaken place?"

I couldn't stop myself from smiling in real life as I opened up my inventory and selected the treasure which I had found at the bottom of that dungeon: A beautiful porcelain doll, immaculately preserved despite its age. As soon as I selected it, the music cut out and the image of Lady Vi changed. I had never seen this particular sprite before; gone was the perpetual air of smug superiority. For the first time since I laid eyes upon her, her pale features began to soften.

"Anne-Marie? I... I haven't seen her in over 300 years. I completely forgot she existed. I thought she was lost forever... She was the last thing my mother gave me before the consumption took her..."

A new song started up now; it bore the familiar melody of Lady Vi's dramatic theme song, but slower, with a music box motif.

"You did all of that... put yourself in so much danger... all for me? Nobody's ever done something like that for me before..."

Now she smiled again, and for all it was rendered in simple graphics, that smile seemed to hold untold depths of emotion.

"Thank you, Keith. When I first met you, I just thought you were another fool of a mortal out to steal my treasure. Well, you're still a fool. But now you've stolen a treasure far greater than anything in the vaults of my manor..."

Come on, say it, say it...

"My heart."

I couldn't help myself. As the game's romantic theme began to swell and bubbly hearts began to float across the stream, I stood up and cheered, not even caring if my neighbors heard me. I started to dance around as the screen tastefully faded to black. Then I sat down again, catching my breath because this was the most I'd physically exerted myself in weeks. When the screen faded back in, the image was a tasteful pinup of Lady Vi, her flawless form strategically covered up by bedsheets of blood-red satin.

I slumped back in my chair, letting out a heavy breath. After all this time, I had done it. The game was over. I had done it. Every secret the game had to offer was laid bare before me. All of those hours, all of that time spent grinding, it had all culminated in this. I took a moment to bask in the afterglow, letting it wash over me. Nothing in my entire life had ever given me such a deep sense of satisfaction.

I was happy, to be sure, but there was a definite undercurrent of melancholy, as well. Now that this task that I had dedicated so much of my life to was complete, what would be next in my life?

...Well, obviously, I'd find another game to play. Duh. There's tons of games like this out there. But first thing's first, this called for a celebration, and in my world, nothing said celebration like a hot pizza and a six-pack of my favorite energy drink. I got up and threw on a jacket before venturing outside, wincing for a moment as I saw natural light for the first time in nearly a week. I had taken a "sick day" today, what with being so fixated on finishing the final quest that I couldn't concentrate on work, so it was still pretty early. Once my eyes had adjusted, I took a deep breath. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the sky was bright and blue and dotted with puffy clouds, and a pleasant breeze washed over me. For once, I was going to enjoy my walk to the convenience story. So it was with a renewed spring in my step I set off on my journey, eager to reap my rewards for a task well completed and move onto the next fun thing in my life. Some of the early buzz for Island of the Amorous Amazons made it sound promising...

This was the last thought that was in my head before I was startled back to reality by a loud honking noise. By the time I turned to look at what had made it, it was already too late.

On the bright side, it was over so quickly that it didn't even hurt.

~*~

I woke up in bed. This was somewhat surprising. Not so much the "bed" part as the "waking up" part. I wasn't expecting to do that. Slowly, like a buffering image, the preceding events came back to me.

I had been crossing the street on the way to the convenience store when an enormous truck came out of nowhere and barreled right into me. I'm pretty sure it was running a red light, too. That settled that. Now to figure out the next mystery: namely, why I wasn't a pile of roadkill. Curiously, I raised my hand and waved it around. No pain. No discomfort. Plus, y'know, I could actually move. So I wasn't in a hospital somewhere. Slowly, I pulled myself to my feet and took stock of my surroundings. It wasn't my apartment, that was for sure. There were no instant noodle wrappers, for one thing.

It was considerably more rustic than my typical surroundings. Rather than discolored plaster, the walls seemed to be made of actual wood. The bed was an actual bed, and not a third-hand futon. The omnipresent noise of urban life was gone, too. The only thing I could hear was birdsong.

Was I dead? Was this this afterlife?

I pulled myself to my feet and continued to look around. There was a set of clothes slung over a wooden chair, consisting of a green tunic and a pair of leggings. Considering that it was neither a graphic T-shirt or a pair of gym shorts, it didn't resemble anything in my closet. Sitting on the floor next to it was a leather satchel and...

And a lute. A really nice one, too, inasmuch as I could tell. Before I could further consider the implications of it, there was a tapping at the door.

"Sir Sonicson? Are you decent?"

I looked down at myself. In fact, I was not. I yanked the linen off the bed and quickly wrapped it around myself before she could-

Wait. What did she call me?

"Sorry, what was that?" I replied.

"I've got your breakfast, Sir Sonicson," she repeated. "I'll just be a moment, if you'll let me drop it off for you."

I whipped my head around. There was a mirror set over a basin in the room, and I nearly fell over as I saw myself for the first time and realized that I wasn't me. Which wasn't to say that I didn't recognize the face in the mirror.

Long dark hair. Bright blue eyes. Bronze complexion. Flawless skin. Soft features. Slim build. All garnished with a sprinkle of boyish charm. I knew this face, because I spent over an hour getting every single aspect of it just right.

I was not me. I was Keith Sonicson. Bard. Adventurer. Charmer of ladies. Hero of the realm.

Holy crap. Was I dreaming? Was I dead? Was this just the last pleasant delusion that my brain was sending me while I rapidly bled out onto the pavement?

...Was that sausage?

"Come on in." I quickly wrapped the sheet around myself as the door opened up. The woman who came in was tall, dark-skinned, and lithely built, and she was an elf. A real actual in the flesh elf. There was no mistaking those ears. She was dressed comfortably in a dress made of undyed linen and an apron, as would befit the staff of an inn. She was also holding a plate laden with fried eggs, hot sausage, and fresh biscuits.

"Is something the matter, Sir Sonicson?" she said, giving me an odd look, and that's when I realized I was staring.

"Oh, no, sorry, just lost in thought," I said, giving her a smile. "Thank you very much! Oh wait, one moment."

Holding onto my sheet with one hand, I ducked down and reached into a pocket of my satchel, pulling out a small silver coin and deftly flicking it her way. She caught it in mid-air and smiled at me.

"You're very generous," she said, tucking it into a pocket in your apron. "Thank you for your patronage."

With that, she left the room, and as soon as she did, I fell back onto the bed, laying there for several moments, staring at the ceiling.

Slowly and cautiously, I reached over and gave myself a hard pinch on the arm. It hurt a lot, and I still seemed to be here.

And it was at that moment that I arrived at a decision.

This may have been some kind of strange cosmic reward, or it may have been a deranged dream. Regardless of why or how, I was Keith Sonicson now. My old self was gone, and good riddance. What favors had that old body ever done me anyway? Keith Sonicson didn't have weird pains in his knees, chronic acne, or a severe peanut allergy. (I wasn't sure about that last one, and made a mental note to test it later.) A choice between being Keith Sonicson and being me wasn't a choice at all. As far as I was concerned, I was Keith now, and I was going to stay on this ride until I was kicked off.

The first thing I did was enjoy my breakfast. It was the most delicious thing I'd eaten in years. With that taken care of, I got myself dressed and looked at myself in the mirror one more time. Grinning, I tied my hair into a ponytail, the way Keith had always done. The way I had always done, I suppose! Then I picked up my lute and my satchel and made my way downstairs.

It was late morning, and the tavern downstairs was already bustling with people of every shape imaginable. There were elves and dwarves and goblins and halflings and orcs, all going about their business like this wasn't the most amazing place in the world.

"Mornin', Sir Sonicson!" said the innkeeper, an elderly goblin whom I recognized immediately as, the proprietor of the Whistling Fern, which could only mean that I was in Wakerobin Valley, the main hub town of Meet Cute Dungeon. And it was real.

"Good morning, Griselda," I said, giving her a smile. "And what a beautiful morning it is, made only more so by your fair visage."

Griselda let out a bawdy laugh. "One of these days you'll wear down my defenses, you rake," she said, flashing him a wink. "But not today! I trust your breakfast found you well?"

"It was excellent, thank you. My compliments to the chef."

"Eh, it's just what I had lying around, you're not special," she said, leaning onto the counter and grinning at me. "Now, I'm sure you've got a very busy day ahead of you, but the brunch crowds are starting to shuffle in. Any chance of some entertainment before you head off?"

I was about to ask what she meant, but then I noticed that her eyes were on my lute. I was about to protest that I had no idea what to do with this thing, but what kind of bard would I be if I couldn't play my instrument? Mind, the closest thing I had ever done to playing a song was selecting buffing and debuffing effects out of a menu, but somehow, I had a feeling that I wasn't going to let that stop me. Keith Sonicson was an amazing musician, after all. All the better to charm the ladies with.

The main room of the tavern had a little stage set into the corner, and I wasted no time in pulling up a chair and taking a seat. As I unstrung my lute, its weight just felt right in my hands. I cleared my throat to get the attention of the patrons.

"Good morning, Whistling Fern! I'm Keith Sonicson, and I don't know about you, but I'm feeling really good today. And when you're in a good mood, the best thing you can do is spread it around!"

And with that, I started to play, and I played like I had been practicing the lute longer than I had been walking and talking. My fingers danced across the strings and frets, and beautiful music began to fill the room. I began to improvise a happy, jaunty song that soon had the patrons tapping along with the beat, and soon I couldn't help myself. I began to sing as well, and my voice was just as perfect as my playing was. I sang about beautiful days and beautiful women and everything beautiful in life, and as I did so, I felt my heart swell. It was all I could do to keep from crying right there on the stage.

As the song finished, the patrons applauded, and I stood up and took a bow before I made my exit from the tavern. The day was full of possibilities. What would I even do with myself? Surely this world was bigger than just the confines of a video game. I could be a traveling bard, wandering from place to place, making my way with wits and song! No more bills, no more stress, and most important of all, no more damage entry. The future shone bright.

This was the train of thought that was abruptly derailed when I felt something grab me by the back of my collar and hoist me off the ground. I started to struggle, and found myself meeting a pair of steel-gray eyes, sharply narrowed.

"I have finally found you," said the owner of those eyes, in a low, husky voice.

"What?" I said, as I struggled fruitlessly, and let myself pull back to take in the rest of the features. My heart skipped a beat as I realized who I was the captive of.

The hand holding me off the ground belonged to an orcish woman. Unlike the more commonly-seen southern tribes, who tended to have ruddy hides, her skin was a bleak shade of blue-gray. A northern orc, hailing from the snowy climates in the mountains. An unusual sight, as they very rarely ventured beyond their homelands. She had a stern jawline, and a pair of short tusks protruded from her thick lips. She was dressed in a cloak made of some kind of shiny hide, which perhaps ill fit the more temperate climate of Wakerobin Valley, but she didn't seem to mind.

Much like I had with Griselda, I knew this woman. And what's more, I knew her much more intimately than I had known the tavern keeper.

Her name was Mogda of Clan Iceheart, and she had been one of my first romantic conquests in Meet Cute Dungeon.

As she met my eyes, her features softened a bit, and her lips curled into a smile.

"I always knew you would come back," she said. "The others had their doubts, but I knew deep in my bones that you would come back to us someday, after all we had been through together. Especially now, in our time of need."

"Time of... need?" I said. "Um, sorry, but can you put me down, please?"

Mogda nodded, letting my feet touch the ground once again. It was a long way down, as the orc positively towered over me. She was nearly eight feet tall, her thick limbs corded with muscle, and would have been an imposing figure if not for the fact that I knew her to be quite soft-hearted.

I was about to ask her what she meant by 'time of need', but from ground level, I could see it quite clearly. Where there had once been a rather impressive set of six-pack abs, there was now a round, bulging curve of a belly. If I had any illusions of convincing myself that she had simply put on weight, then they were rapidly shattered when I saw the surface of her belly briefly distort.

She was pregnant.

"I... you... you're..."

"Our union on the mountaintop was truly blessed, Keith," she said, running a hand over her roundness. "Would you like to come and meet your child?"

I never thought of myself as a bastion of purity and honor, but I tried my best to be a good person, in the limited ways I could be. I always credited my sources. I've always tried to call out jerks and stand up for the bullied. I never asked an artist for free art or sent anyone an unsolicited picture of my genitals. In short, I thought of myself as, if not a good person, then at least a decent one.

So yes, I felt more than a little bit bad that I followed my first instinct, which, in this instance, was to take off running. Please don't think too poorly of me.

I don't know how Mogda reacted to this. Orcs aren't known for their speed and agility, and I was, as it turned out, especially light on my feet. I had no idea where I was going. I was gripped by blind panic, and I simply moved in a straight line as quickly as I could, urging people to make a hole as I went by. I was so focused on what was directly ahead of me that I didn't notice the enormous shadow looming above. At least, not until I had made it to the town square. I paused to catch my breath and noticed that the sun appeared to have been blotted out. I looked up, and my heart caught in my throat as I saw the shape looming overhead.

It was a dragon. A real actual dragon. Oh yeah, this world has dragons in it. It slowed down for a moment, landing right in front of me. It was a Western-style dragon, about the size of a draft horse, if a draft horse also had a pair of enormous wings, its scales a shimmering blue that made me think of the ocean and bright golden eyes. It opened its mouth to roar at me, and I felt rooted to the spot.

Then there was a flash of light in my eyes, accompanied by a comical poof noise, and a humanoid figure stood where a dragon had once been. She had a rather petite build, and her arms and legs were covered in blue scales, with clawed hands and taloned feet. She also still bore wings, horns, and a whip-like tail, just like the dragon. Aside from that, she was more-or-less human looking, with pale skin, silver hair, and of course, golden eyes. And she was wearing a cute blue minidress, which hugged the curves of her pregnant belly quite neatly, the size of which was emphasized by her slim form. She looked like she was carrying twins, or maybe triplets.

"There you are, my little human," she said, flashing me a toothy grin. "Did you miss me?"

I recognized her as well. Rathazzurum, the Scourge of the Eastern Archipelago. But she always insisted that I call her Azura.

I was still running on pure animal instinct, and my reason had yet to catch up with me, so I just took off in a random direction. I could hear another poof behind me, followed by the sound of wingbeats. I didn't think I'd be able to outrun her for long. So with "run" rapidly becoming less and less of an option, animal brain decided to shift gears to hide.

Some part of me recognized that I was in the market district now, and there were a number of shops set about, where an aspiring adventurer might purchase equipment, potions, and gifts for potential love interests. Seeing an opportunity, I darted between two of the storefronts, finding myself in a little pocket of shadow. And since I could no longer hear the sound of pursuit, I let myself slump down to the ground and relax, trying to process everything that had happened.

So, to recap: I got hit by a truck, woke up in a fantasy world, and discovered that not only were the women I had spent all of those hours romancing real here, but also, two of them had gotten pregnant. Just my luck. What was I supposed to do with this information? I suddenly shivered as my nerves began to act up. I had only barely begun to process this whole fantasy world thing. How would I even deal with this?

I shivered again, and I realized that it wasn't nerves. Despite it being a balmy day, there was a sudden chill in the air. The skies had suddenly grown overcast and a chilly breeze washed over me, and I noticed that a faint mist had begun to rise around me.

Wait, mist? I may not have been the most educated man in the world, but I was pretty sure that this wasn't the right weather conditions for mist...

And sure enough, I was right. The mist began to rise up, swirling about and coming together until it formed a roughly humanoid shape. There was a puff of smoke, and from it emerged... oh no.

She was tall and voluptuous, with curves, as they said, in all the right places. Her long hair was raven black, her skin as pale as freshly-fallen snow, and her eyes a fiery crimson. She was dressed in a gown of black velvet with royal purple highlights which accentuated the curves of her body, her supple bosom, her wide hips, and, of course, her round belly.

"There you are," she said, with a voice like rich dark chocolate. "You've got a lot of explaining to do, lover. Starting with where you've been."

My tongue felt absolutely numb in my mouth, and I was plastered to the brick wall as surely as if I'd been glued there. It was all I could do to say her name.

"L-Lady Violeta..."

"Oh, good, so you do remember me," she said, flashing me a smile that showed off her sharpened canines. "You have a lot to account for, little man, starting with forcing me to be awake at this ungodly hour of the day, and I intend to collect."

This was it. I had been given my second chance at life only for it to be ripped away from me again.

"There he is!"

I whipped my head around and saw Mogda at the mouth of the alley, with Azura - once again in her humanoid form - peering out from behind her, cheeks flushed. Before I could stop to consider what sort of fate could possibly befall me now, with all three of them set upon me, Mogda dashed forward, and my life flashed before my eyes for a moment before she picked me up off the ground once again and... clutched me to her chest.

"I'm sorry that I scared you," she said. "I was just happy to see you."

"I... what?" My brain was positively reeling. This was not how I expected this encounter to go.

Mogda turned to Lady Violeta and her features hardened. "How long were you going to let him think you were going to drink his blood?"

"It wasn't like I was going to take all of it!" she said, huffing in annoyance and folding her arms across her chest. "He's got lots of blood, he can spare a bit!"

"Violeta!"

"Oh, fine!" she said, sighing. "I just wanted to scare him a bit. Can you blame me? He's got a lot to answer for!"

"Hey now, be nice," said Azura, who was still standing apart from us, her cheeks flushed. "I'm sure he has a perfectly good reason for disappearing without a word! Keith wouldn't just do that to us, right? Not after everything we went through together, right?"

I turned to look at her, those golden eyes of hers practically sparkling.

I mean, what could I possibly say?

"It doesn't matter where he was!" snapped Violeta, stamping her foot on the ground. "He did this to us," - she gestured at her belly, in case there was any ambiguity as to what this meant - "and then vanished without so much as a goodbye? We've been searching for you for months! And now here you are, walking out of the pub like you've never even been gone! What do you have to say for yourself?"

This was a lot. I mean, it was a lot. I took a moment to gather my thoughts, even as Violet's sharp eyes threatened to bore a hole right through me.

So, let us consider the facts.

1. I got hit by a truck.

2. Rather than being dead, I am now in the world of Meet Cute Dungeon.

3. The world of Meet Cute Dungeon is real, which in turn meant:

4. All of the inhabitants of it are real, including but not limited to the myriad women I spent two hundred hours and change romancing.

5. As a direct result of said romancing, some number of them were now with child.

6. An amount of time has passed - at least a few months - since the last time I played the game, despite it being mere hours by my perspective, and during that time, Keith - who is now me, or I am now him, or whatever - has been missing.

7. The above women, who were understandably upset by this convergence of events, want me to take some responsibility for what I've done.

That seemed to just about cover it. What could I say to them? That it was only a game to me? That they weren't real? But this wasn't just a game, and it was all real. These women were not just sprites on a screen. I could feel Mogda's arms wrapped around me, feel the warmth of her body, the beating of her heart.

I didn't know what I was going to do about this. I may not have been a paragon of virtue and purity, but I knew where to start.

"I'm sorry."

Violeta's features began to soften immediately. She let out a hmph and looked away from me. "Don't think you're getting off that easy," she murmured.

"I didn't mean to startle you like I did," said Mogda, gently setting me down. "My apologies."

"Um, can we get someplace a bit more comfortable?" said Azura. "It's a bit cramped in here."

Violeta sighed. "If we must," she said. She flicked her wrist and a black silk parasol appeared in her hands. "But you still have a lot to answer for!"

I really did, apparently. I had no idea how I was going to answer for it, mind. I mean, on the one hand, this was a world where orcs and dragons and vampires existed, but on the other, I had a feeling that they would have a hard time with the concept of a video game.

We made our way back to the Whistling Fern. Violeta made her way over to a corner booth, which was occupied by a pair of burly orc men. She tapped one of them on the shoulder, and he whipped his head around, intent on asking what the big idea was. He froze in place when he saw Violeta smiling at him.

"Pardon me. Is this seat taken?"

And shortly thereafter, it was not. Violeta and Azura took up one side of the booth and I seated myself in the other. Modga opted to pull up a chair, since the table could not quite accommodate her belly.

"So let's address the elephant in the room, shall we?" said Violeta, leaning forward with her elbows on the table.

"That's a mean thing to say about Modga, Lady Vi!" said Azura. Violeta sighed. Mogda let out a snort of laughter. Azura just looked confused.

"So where in all of the hells were you?" said Violeta. "I certainly wasn't expecting you to be a house husband, but after everything we went through together, I didn't expect you to just vanish without a word."

"We couldn't find you anywhere," said Azura. "I was so worried!"

"And then, just as abruptly," Violeta continued, ignoring Azura, "here you are, six months later, like nothing happened. So what do you have to say for yourself?"

I had been thinking about things on the way here. I decided to try something as close to the truth as was feasible under the circumstances.

"I honestly don't know where I was," I said, shrugging. "The last thing I remember for sure is when I... erm... spent the evening with Violeta. And then the next thing I knew, I woke up here this morning."

Azura let out a gasp. "Did you run afoul of a chronomancer?" she said.

"There's no such thing as chronomancers, Azura," said Mogda, very patiently. "I keep telling you this."

"Then why do bits of my horde keep going missing even though I know I just put them down somewhere for safekeeping?" said Azura, huffing. I had a feeling that this wasn't the first time they'd had this conversation. I couldn't help but smile at how cute she looked, and began to reminisce with fondness about Azura's story.

But I was quickly snapped back to reality by the sound of Violeta's fist impacting the table.

"Are you really expecting me to believe that?" said Violeta. "If you just wanted to be straight with me and say that you got scared of the consequences, I could almost respect that! Almost."

"It's all I can tell you," I said. "The time I spent with you - all of you - meant a lot to me. I would never have hurt any of you on purpose." And as I spoke the words, I realized that they were true, despite the fact that, up until this morning, all of them were nothing but sprites on a screen to me. Which was kind of pathetic, now that I thought about it, but here we were.

When I thought to myself that I would just move on to the next game and get on with my life... well, I think that's what I was trying to convince myself of. I'd played tons of dating sims before Meet Cute Dungeon and I was planning on playing a lot more afterwards, truck aside. But something about the game lingered with me. And when it was finished, I don't think I wanted it to be over. These women felt real to me in a way that characters in a game never had before.

Violeta didn't respond right away. She looked down at the table and sighed.

"I'm here now," I said. I reached across the table, and she quickly withdrew her hands with a huff. Azura wasted no time in taking up the space that she vacated, gripping the offered hand tightly and sighing dreamily.

"That's a start, I'll give you that," said Violeta. "But we'll see! And we're going to have to check in with the others, too!"

I blinked a few times. Wait, others? Did that mean what I thought she meant?

"You mean my other... um..."

"Conquests?" said Violeta, her lip twisting into a smirk. "Oh, yes. Did you think we were the only ones?" She gave her belly a pat. "When you sow your seeds all over the world, you shouldn't be surprised at what takes root."

"We've spoken to a couple of them," said Mogda. "Most either weren't interested in looking for you, or unable to do so."

That hurt a little bit, but I supposed it was fair.

"Well, I'm here now," I said, nodding. "And... whatever it is you want from me, it's yours. I'm sorry."

"We just want you, silly," said Azura, not quite able to meet my eyes, even as she squeezed my hand.

"Speak for yourself," said Violeta. "But we'll see about that."

"I'm just happy to see you safe," said Mogda, standing upright. "But now that you are here, we can-"

Suddenly, she grit her teeth and let out a snarl that caused every patron to turn and look, one hand bracing against the table and the other gripping her belly. I looked down, and saw a spreading wet patch on the floor beneath her. My heart started to race again.

"I thought you'd said I'd only been gone for six months!" I yelped, feeling the blood drain out of my face.

Mogda smiled at me despite her obvious discomfort. "Orc babies grow very quickly," she said, patting her belly. "Our little one has been wanting to come into the world for some weeks now. I've been taking herbs to delay her passage, but nature cannot be denied for long."

"Hey, congratulations and everything," yelled Griselda from across the room. "But you're not doing that in here!"

"Come on," said Violeta, tugging on Azura's hand as she got up. "Let's get back to the manor."

"The manor?" I stammered, as I followed the trio outside.

"Lady Vi's been letting us all stay at her house while we looked for you," said Azura, nodding.

"It's not like I use most of the space anyway," said Violeta, shrugging. "It seemed like the easiest way to go about this."

As soon as we were outside, Azura darted forward. There was a flash of magic, and once again, a dragon stood before us. From this angle, I could see the swelling in her underbelly that I hadn't noticed before, though it wasn't quite as prominent on her draconic frame.

"Everyone get on!" she said, her voice low and growly in this form. "You first, Keith!"

I wasn't sure how I was supposed to go about that, but Mogda took care of it for me, lifting me up and placing me on Azura's back before taking a seat behind me. Violeta was the last to get on, and she didn't look especially pleased to be doing so.

"Why did you have to reappear in the middle of the day," she groaned, as she struggled to hike up her dress. "This would be so much easier if I could just fly home myself."

It took me a moment to realize what she meant; I recalled that, according to her in-game bio, while it didn't harm her, she couldn't shapeshift while in direct sunlight. One particularly engaging quest during her route involved getting her down from a tower while she was stuck in the form of a bat. I wondered if all of the events of the game played out exactly as I remembered them being described, or if there was additional detail that was completely lost to me. Would there be a tasteful way to find out?

I couldn't think about this much longer, as all of a sudden, I felt Azura lurch as her massive wings began to flap.

"Hang on tight, everybody!" she said. "I'm gonna do my best!" I felt Mogda's arms wrap around me as Azura took off. Despite being in labor, her protective instincts were as strong as ever.

If anyone had anything else to say, then it would have to wait, as the sounds of rushing wind filled my ears. And despite everything, I couldn't keep myself from smiling. I mean, I was flying on a dragon. You would have to be completely dead inside to not enjoy that.

~*~

Violeta's manor looked even more impressive in real life than it had done in the game. It was an enormous house in... I want to say Gothic style? I don't know much about architecture. But it was certainly imposing.

Azura landed in the courtyard, and we wasted no time in disembarking and making our way inside. I held Mogda's hand as we entered, as she kept a steady pace, gently breathing in and out as she went.

As we stepped over the threshold, Violeta snapped her fingers, and right before my eyes, a trio of diminutive humanoid figures rose out of the ground. They looked like people wearing black morphsuits, as seen through a blurry photo filter. I recognized them as shades. I wasn't entirely sure how they worked, but they sort of acted as Violeta's servants, carrying out her orders to the letter.

"Go make sure Modga's bedroom is prepared for her," she said to the nearest one. "You, finish setting up the nursery. And you, get me something to drink!"

The shades nodded and melted into the floor once again.

"So, um," I said, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. "Should I, um... just wait here?"

Mogda squeezed my hand tighter. "I want you to be there," she said. "Please come with me."

I looked up at her. Just yesterday - more or less - the biggest concern in my life was deciding whether I wanted roast chicken or spicy shrimp flavored instant noodles for dinner. And now a woman wanted me to help deliver her baby. There were no words for how unqualified I was for this, and I was about to tell Mogda so. But then I met her eyes, and I realized that I could say nothing of the sort.

I squeezed her hand back, and she smiled at me.

"We'll talk later," said Violeta, as Mogda let me away.

"Good luck!" said Azura, giving a little wave.

The corridors of the manor were hard to navigate. But in my defense, I was used to doing so by selecting which room I wanted to go to from a menu. Nevertheless, Mogda seemed to know where she was going and strode forward, despite needing to pause periodically as a contraction hit her. Finally, she opened up a door that led into her bedroom, which turned out to be a bit of a misnomer, as there was no bed in it. The walls were hung with furs and various tanned hides, making it look more like a lodge than a fancy bedroom.

As soon as the door was shut, Mogda wasted no time in shedding her outerwear, her large breasts dropping down onto her belly as her chest-wrap ceased to hold them in place.

"Not much longer now," she said, nodding at me as she took a seat on the floor, getting herself comfortable on a fur rug.

"That's... good, right?" I said, shuffling in place. "What exactly do you want me to do here? I'm a... a bard, not a nurse."

Mogda gave me a warm smile. "You need not do anything. Did you forget that I was trained as a healer for my tribe? I helped many children on their journey into the world. Mine will be no different. I simply want you to be here to witness her passage. Although, I would not turn down a belly rub."

That seemed reasonable enough. I knelt down beside her and laid my hands on her belly. It was tight as a drum, and I could feel the ripples running through it as her muscles contracted. She began to hum to herself as she rode out the waves.

After several minutes of this, I felt compelled to break the silence.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I wish I had a better explanation for-"

She put a finger to my lips. "It matters not," she said. "You are here now, as I knew you would be. You touched all of our lives in a very special way, Keith. I knew you would come back to us in some way. I knew it deep in my heart."

I wanted to ask how she knew that, since I certainly had no way of knowing. But before I could think to do so, she put both of her hands on her belly and let out a deep growl.

"It's time," she said, straightening herself out. She leaned against the wall and got into a squat, putting a hand on either one of her thighs as her legs spread apart. I blushed as I got a good, up-close look at her most intimate parts; I could see that her thick nether lips were bulging open, and pink-tinged fluids steadily trickled from it. Once she settled into position, she took one deep breath, then let out a deep, throaty growl as she began to bear down.

I've never witnessed a birth before. I have to imagine that few people outside of medical professions have. Tradition dictated that I react with shock or disgust, but I didn't feel any of that. Instead, I only felt awe. The woman before me was bringing a new life into the world. A new life that I helped to create, somehow. And this was a woman with muscles on her muscles, who could pick me up and carry me effortlessly, and yet here she was at her most vulnerable.

Despite her words, though, it seemed she wasn't having an easy time of it. Her contractions came faster and faster, and even as she groaned and pushed, I still couldn't see any sign of the baby. She said that she didn't need my help, but I didn't just want to sit there and do nothing. As I shifted my position, I became aware of a weight on my back. I was still carrying my lute.

Well. That was one thing I could do. I unslung it and settled into a comfortable position, then started to pluck out a song, something slow and tranquil. Mogda's eyes opened up and I hesitated as she looked over to me.

"Keep playing."

That was all she could manage before she started to groan again. I did as instructed, not slowing or stopping as she began to push. Her nether lips finally split apart, and I could see the baby's head starting to emerge, slowly making its way out of her. Considering the size of her belly, I shouldn't have been surprised at how big it was, but it was big. She started to tremble from the effort of pushing, and I wanted to say something encouraging, but nothing sounded right in my head. So I just kept playing.

Mogda suddenly threw her head back and bellowed, startling me enough to throw off my rhythm briefly, but she didn't seem to care, as she grit her teeth and let out a prolonged grunt, her belly visibly squeezing inward as she put all the strength she could muster into a big push, and I watched as the baby slowly slip from her body. Finally, she put her hands to her groin as the head and shoulders began to pop out, and carefully eased the rest of the body out of her before sliding down the wall into a sitting position, letting out a sigh of relief as she caught her breath.

"She has your eyes," she said, as she looked back up at me. And indeed, while the baby orc (orcling? orclet?) looked more-or-less like her mother in miniature, she did, indeed, have my vibrant blue eyes.

"She's cute," was all I could think of to say. Mogda just laughed.

"Yes, she is." She looked up from her newborn to me.

"You may leave us for now."

"Are you sure? Do you need any-"

"The afterbirth will be coming soon. I would not wish the sight of that upon my worst enemy. Do not worry, we will be fine."

Well, I wasn't going to fight her on it. I gave her a smooch on the forehead and took my leave.

About a minute later, I realized that I had no idea where I was supposed to go, and that I probably wouldn't know how to get there even if I did. But fortunately, I didn't have to worry about that long. I found Violeta waiting nearby. She was idly lounging against the wall, holding a snifter full of something red and slightly viscous.

(Somehow I knew what a snifter was despite having never encountered one in my life. All of the unfamiliar things that I just suddenly knew were taking some getting used to.)

"How long have you been out here?" I asked.

"Long enough," she said. She took a long sip out of her glass. "How's the baby?"

"Very healthy, I think. I don't think Mogda mentioned what she was naming her..."

"Orcs don't name their children until they can speak," said Vi, shrugging. "They think it's silly to saddle a person with a name when they can't approve or disapprove of it." She took another sip. "The two of us have had quite a bit of time to get to know each-other. Azura, too."

"I'm happy for you all. It's nice to have friends."

"Indeed."

Another, much slower sip. An awkward tension hung in the air between us.

"Look, Violeta-"

"I don't believe you, you know," she said, not looking at me. "Your heart beats faster when you're not being truthful. So the story you told us... it had the ring of truth to it, but it wasn't the whole truth."

I was silent for a moment, not sure what to say at this point.

"...It wasn't the whole truth. But I'm not sure you'd believe the whole truth. I'm not sure I believe it."

Violeta shrugged. She finished the rest of her drink, then tossed the snifter aside, shattering it on the floor. A shade emerged from the wall with a dustpan and a brush and cleaned up the broken glass before vanishing the way it came.

"For what it's worth," I went on, "I really am sorry. I didn't know any of this would happen. Especially not with you. I didn't even know that vampires could get pregnant."

"We usually can't," said Violeta. "It only happens when the connection we have with our partner is something really special."

I felt my heart sink as, just for a moment, the mask of perpetual haughtiness that Violeta wore slipped for a moment. She turned away from me, her hand running mindlessly over her bump.

"...I'm here now," I said. "For what that's worth. And I don't plan on going anywhere if I can help it. I'm not going to ask you to just pick up where we left off like nothing happened, but maybe we can start fresh?"

She let out a sophisticated little laugh. "It's a start, I suppose," she said. "So what are you going to do now?"

That was something I had been thinking about. And I knew what the answers were.

"Find the others. All of them. And I take responsibility. I'm not sure what form that's going to take, but I have to make the effort."

She looked directly at me for the first time since she cornered me in that alley, those sharp ruby-red eyes boring into me. Then, it had been the gaze of a predator cornering its next meal. Now? I wasn't quite sure. But I hoped I had the time to find out.

Then she smiled at me for the briefest of moments, before giving a whistle. Another shade appeared.

"Show Sir Sonicson to his room, if you would," she said. "He's going to have a long day tomorrow. He'll need to rest."

The shade nodded, then gestured for me to follow it. Violeta waved at me as I left her behind, and soon, the shade led me to a bedroom. It was... well, a bedroom, without much else to say about it. There was a bed and an armoire and that was about it. Was I being punished by being given the most bare-bones accommodations that Violeta could muster? Well, joke's on her, this was still way nicer than my old bed.

I got undressed, setting all of my accoutrements aside, making sure to be extra careful with my lute, and settled down into the bed. It was so soft that I felt like it was going to devour me. It was amazing. I had no idea what time it actually was, but that didn't matter. I was bone tired. Turns out that getting pancaked by a truck and waking up in a fantasy world kind of takes it out of you.

I didn't know how I got here. I didn't know why this world was real. I especially didn't know why this had happened. I definitely wasn't the only person who had played Meet Cute Dungeon, but it's possible that I was the only person to beat it. Was there something special about this game? Had it been waiting for me all this time?

I really hoped not. That sounded stupid as hell. But honestly, I didn't matter. I was here now. And as weird as this situation was, it sure beat whatever I had to look forward to in the "real" world.

I sighed to myself as I rolled over, getting comfortable in the soft bed. I may have 100% completed the game, but it seemed like the real challenge was only just beginning. And I hoped that I was going to be up to it.