FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

Ok this is by far the quickest i've ever written a chapter for this series. This one's a bit...different, and it flowed really quickly from my head to the paper, so i really hope it is OK...

If anything seems off just say so...i wrote this all in one day, feeling like i had to finish it as qucikly as possible so i could start on the next chapter for it...

Well, as usual critisicism is welcome and what not...now i'll shut up

______________________________________________

Jake woke up the next morning, nuzzling the pillow, and then realizing he was alone. He opened his eyes and stared at the room for a moment. Like a crash of thunder the previous day rampaged through his mind. He closed his eyes and let out a loud sigh and threw a paw on his forehead, "Crap..."

After a moment Jake got up and found his shirt. He threw it on and opened the door and began to walk into the kitchen. He smelt something good but stopped when he heard voices. He recognized the two as Lucas's parents and immediately wished he was still asleep, or that yesterday was just a dream.

"You can't be serious Phil! Our son is dating a fag," he heard Mrs. Vadikson hiss.

"Come on now Iris...It was you who said that as long as our children were happy then we would be happy," Mr. Vadikson was saying with a sigh.

"You know that's not what I meant!" she hissed and continued, "It was different, we didn't actually know about it!"

"You said Lucas is dating a fag...you do realize what your calling our son, and Jake, don't you?" Mr. Vadikson asked.

"I refuse to believe that Lucas is actually serious!"

"...Iris..."

"Don't 'Iris' me! This will not happen in my family! How could Lucas do this to us!? He can't be serious about any of this, not with Jake, not with a male! What is he thinking! I know we raised him better than this!"

"We raised Lucas to do what is right, and Jake is a good kid,"

"And look at them! Jake's not normal! He's a disgrace to his family I bet! Why would Lucas choose someone like that?" she asked then stopped her husband before he could answer. "No, don't answer! If those two think this is some sort of joke then it's not funny!"

"You can't be serious..." Mr. Vadikson said.

"What? Me? What about them? How can they be serious!? And you! You're defending them!"

"I don't care what my son is...he's my son, and Jake is like a part of our family,"

"Don't you say that! Neither of them are actually part of this family! That bear will never be part of our family and if Lucas insists on continuing this pathetic life then he'll soon find himself like Jake! Those 'things' are not natural," she said, growing more frustrated.

"Watch it!" Mr. Vadikson said with a small growl under his tone. "Don't you dare say that about those two! Get out of your pathetic little mindset!"

"What are you saying? What would it do to Ana? I don't want my child growing up being influenced by an abomination! She looks up to those two, and I refuse to lose my child!"

"Those two do nothing but protect her! She loves Lucas and Jake. Both of them treat and look after her and do nothing but try to help her!"

"And you want them to corrupt her!"

"Please, she's too young to even realize anything about their relationship! Stop trying to use Ana to hide from your own prejudice. This isn't about her. It's about you and not being able to look past something so trivial!"

"This isn't about being open-minded! It's just wrong!"

"Can't you see Lucas is happy?"

"He's not happy! He's being a fool!"

"Don't say that about our son!"

"Our son!? Right now I don't even want to think about him as family...just thinking about what the others will say makes me furious..."

"How could you say that?" Mr. Vadikson asked and hit his hand on the table then stopped, still wanting to be quiet, "Who cares what your family thinks?"

"My father would be rolling over in his grave if he saw him! This is a disgrace to our families!"

"It is not a disgrace! I couldn't care less about what 'the families' say about the matter. It is not wrong! As long as my children are happy then I'll defend them and their mates!"

"Jake is not Lucas's mate! Jake is corrupting the family!"

"You can't love someone if you're too busy hating something about them. The only who thinks that this is a corruption is you! Their happy! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Happy?! How could he be happy!?"

"Jake makes him happy,"

"Jake!? That abomination is trying to tear this family apart! I refuse to talk about this right now! Don't expect me back tonight-I'll go to my sisters," Mrs. Vadikson said and began to stomp towards the door.

Jake stood around the corner, slightly stunned by what had happened. He leaned on the wall and felt dizzy, realizing what he was causing to happen. He began to hate himself for it. He also felt his eyes swelling at the words Mrs. Vadikson had said about him, and about Lucas. The words played over again and again in his mind. He felt his breathes becoming short and tried not to let anything get out, but felt a low sob escape from him.

"Jake?" Mr. Vadikson asked, hearing the sound suddenly. He heard movement and then nothing again. He got up and looked around the corner not seeing anyone, but could see feet moving from the shadow under the door. He silently cursed himself and walked towards the room. He opened it and saw Jake lying down on his side, facing away from the door.

Jake wanted the wolf to think he was asleep, but knew it was too late for that, so he lay there. He heard Mr. Vadikson walking over and then sit on the side of the bed.

"Jake...I'm sorry you heard that," he said and placed a hand on the bear's arm, and feeling the bear shaking.

Jake shook at the touch and shut his eyes. "Why are you sorry? This is all my fault..." he said through a sob.

"You haven't done anything wrong Jake," Mr. Vadikson said sternly.

"But-"

"No," Mr. Vadikson cut in before Jake could say anything. "Jake, you and Lucas have done nothing wrong. I knew Iris wouldn't like it too much..." he told the bear and silently thought to himself. He didn't think she would react this negatively to it. He was slightly taken back by it.

Jake felt himself sobbing more; he tried to stop and couldn't seem to. "I'm sorry..." he said again through sobs.

Mr. Vadikson sighed and patted the bear. "Jake," he said, "Jake" he said again, making the bear look up at him. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Never apologize for your relationship with Lucas,"

Jake nodded lightly, and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his shirt. He was glad he wasn't crying too much. He hated for anyone to see him cry, he thought it made him look weak. "I didn't want any of this to happen..."

"I know...its not your fault. Jake, no matter what anyone else may say to you know this, I'm here for you...and you also have Lucas,"

Jake nodded again, and looked up at the wolf. "Why don't you hate me?"

Mr. Vadikson looked back at Jake, confused. "Why would I hate you? I love you...and my son, well, my son loves you. Just because I'm straight and you're gay doesn't mean that I'm going to hate you. I'm here for you,"

"It doesn't make any sense,"

Mr. Vadikson chuckled at this and put his arm around the bear and rested a paw on Jake's shoulder. He could feel that the bear was still shaking, "It's OK,"

Jake looked over at the wolf, "No it's not..."

Mr. Vadikson pulled tighter on the bear, "You haven't done anything wrong..."

Jake leaned in next to the wolf, and looked at Mr. Vadikson, "Then why do I feel like I'm nothing but a plague? I'm just going to hurt Lucas...that's what your thinking isn't it?"

"Jake...the world is a strange place, and there are many types of people out in it. I don't think I can really tell you the right answers. I can't say that I know what you're going through either...but Jake, I can say that out of all the people I have met, anybody, you are the one person I'm comfortable with being around Lucas. As a father I want Lucas to be happy...that's true, but Jake, I want you to be happy too,"

Jake began to feel better. He wasn't as angry at himself as he was before. Jake looked up at Mr. Vadikson, "Mr. Vadi-Phil?"

"Better..." Mr. Vadikson said with a chuckle. "What?"

"Thanks, for everything,"

Mr. Vadikson smiled at Jake and rubbed his head roughly with his paw. He stood up and began to walk out of the room. He went back into the kitchen and sat down at the table again.

*********************************************

At work Lucas was working with Alex and Sam.

"Lucas!" Sam yelled and hit the wolf in the back of the head.

"Ouch! What?" he asked.

"Get your head out of the clouds man," the bull said and patted the wolf on the back.

"Is something up?" Alex asked the wolf.

"No,...it's nothing," Lucas asked.

"Is it that otter over there?" Sam asked with a grin.

"What?" Lucas asked.

"You've been staring at her since you got here,"

"No I haven't," Lucas replied. He hadn't meant to stare at the otter, but realized that he was looking her way. He scoffed and returned the work. As his shift ended he heard someone coming up from behind. He turned around and saw the otter, and then he saw Sam.

"Lucas, this is Lana," Sam said. The otter nodded in Lucas's direction.

"Good to meet you Lana," Lucas said and turned away.

"Lucas has been staring at you all day..." Sam said loud enough for the wolf to hear.

Lucas turned around, embarrassed, "That's not true!" he almost yelled. He noticed that instead of being offended the otter laughed.

"Well, I'll see you later Lucas," Sam said and left.

The wolf mouthed something under his breath as the bull walked off. He noticed the otter was still around and felt awkward. "Can I help you?"

"Umm...you're friend said that you could offer me a ride home...or am I just the target of some sick joke..." she said, slightly nervous.

"That little..." Lucas began and looked at the otter, "Fine...I can take you...where do you live?" he asked. He drove the otter down the road a bit and once they talked as Lucas drove. The otter was a bit nice, but something felt strange about being around her. Lucas couldn't put his paw on it. The otter was interesting though, and said a few strange things. He pulled into the driveway and looked at her, "Well, here you are,"

"Thanks...and if you ever want to talk...I'm here" she said and leaned over and kissed Lucas on the side of his cheek.

Lucas stopped and was stunned.

Lana looked at Lucas and took his response as a good thing. She leaned in again and kissed him on the lips. Lucas felt the kiss and was still shocked. After a moment he felt himself lightly return it. Soon the otter was holding him and he was returning the kiss, but he quickly pulled away panting. "You have to go..."

"Are you OK?"

"Get out..." Lucas replied.

The otter did as she was told and Lucas drove off quickly. He looked over in the side seat and saw her number lying there. Lucas stuffed it in his pocket, and felt a pang of guilt run through him. He began to trace his collar as he drove.

**************************************************

Back at the house Jake walked out and saw the wolf sitting at the table. He walked over and sat down too.

"...What I can do? You said that when I came here for the week I would have to work...what can I do to help out?"

"Oh,...I did?" he asked with a chuckle. "I lied,"

"What?"

"Just relax," Mr. Vadikson said with a smile. "Kids these days are way too busy. When was the last time you just sat back and relaxed?"

Jake looked at the wolf and didn't respond.

"Well?" Mr. Vadikson asked, waiting for a response.

Jake realized the wolf was serious. He thought about it for a moment, "Umm...I guess...well..."

"See what I mean?" Mr. Vadikson asked.

Jake couldn't help but laugh at that. He smiled and nodded. He saw the wolf gesturing for him to sit down and he did. He recognized the smell from before and then saw food at the table. He didn't go for it though, instead leaning back in his chair.

"Eat up," Mr. Vadikson said with a smile, "I was setting it all out and was about to get you when..." he said and stopped, remembering the argument with his wife.

Jake frowned a little, "Is everything going to be alright?"

"Yeah...don't worry about it," Mr. Vadikson replied.

"It may not be my place...but will she be OK...and what about Lucas?"

"I don't really know...I don't think she actually really hates Lucas, but...if I were you I wouldn't really talk to her,"

"So she hates me?" Jake asked with a small chuckle, "Can't blame her,"

"I wouldn't say that she hates you...but you are definitely not her favorite person..." he said with a small laugh.

"Mr. Vadikson...how can you be so calm?"

Mr. Vadikson looked up at the bear, "Because I'm happy for you and Lucas. I'm happy too. Now come-on and help me eat this food,"

Jake smiled lightly and grabbed some of the food and bit into it. It was good. He felt better with the wolf around; it reminded him of being with Lucas. Jake looked at the clock and realized it was only eight. He talked with Mr. Vadikson for a bit of time and then looked back at the clock, "I'm enjoying talking, but...won't you be late for work if you keep talking with me?"

"I took the day off," he replied casually.

Jake smiled lightly at this. He guessed it was for him and was happy that the wolf had done it. They continued to talk for a bit. Soon Mr. Vadikson began to ask him about more personal things. Some were about his past and some were more current; Jake didn't mind though.

"How many siblings did you say you have?" Mr. Vadikson asked.

"I have two brothers, and I'm the youngest of us,"

"Wow cool, so am I," Mr. Vadikson responded.

"Really? So I don't have to explain anything to you then," Jake said with a laugh.

"Fights, getting things taken cause their older, hand-me-downs, always being called the 'baby', being ganged up on, being called little 'insert your brothers' name here, etc.-am I right?"

Jake laughed and nodded his head, "Yeah...you got it," he said with a laugh and looked at the wolf, "So...what do you do?"

"I...work on and off right now..."

"And you can still call days off?" Jake asked then looked down, "No, sorry...you don't have to answer that,"

"It's no problem..." Mr. Vadikson said with a chuckle, "I work with various corporations usually interviewing clients and other personnel to make sure that they are, how you would say, 'right,' he said putting air quotes around the last word.

Jake looked at the wolf, confused, "What do you mean?"

"I'm a clinical psychologist," Mr. Vadikson explained.

"..." Jake opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. For some reasons thoughts ran through his mind, that maybe the wolf was just analyzing him. He looked down for a moment, doubts running through his mind. His skepticism told him that he was just a client of sorts.

"You OK Jake?" Mr. Vadikson asked.

"Uhh...yeah," Jake said and looked away again and tried to think of what to say to the wolf. "I was just surprised...I'm taking a psychology class with Lucas next year actually,"

"That's neat," Mr. Vadikson said with a chuckle.

Jake looked back at the wolf and gave a weak smile. He didn't want to get his hopes up that the wolf actually liked him. "You...aren't evaluating me right now are you? Just looking at me to see that I'm not some freak or a threat to Lucas..."

Mr. Vadikson frowned at the bear, "Is that what you think?"

"It's what I don't want to think..." Jake said with a sigh. "But...you knowing all this...knowing about me...my brain says that it would explain it all,"

"Jake, I haven't once tried to 'evaluate' you, and like I said before, you are the only person who I am comfortable with being with Lucas," Mr. Vadikson said, his voice much sterner than usual.

"But..."

"What? 'But' what?" Mr. Vadikson asked, "You think that I'm smart enough to know people by just being around them for a little bit, or that I would be sick enough to toy with them even if I was that smart?"

"I..." Jake said and looked away, "don't know,"

"You want to know something Jake?" Mr. Vadikson asked with a chuckle, "One of the most annoying things is that people always think I can just evaluate them on the spot, that I see people as objects...I can't stand the fact that no matter how close I am to somebody they, and did you hear that? They, they're the ones that set up barriers from me, not the other way around. Jake," he said and continued, "I didn't have to evaluate you to know that you and my son were together...that was a father's intuition and nothing more,"

"I'm sorry..." Jake said, not looking at the wolf.

Mr. Vadikson laughed loudly now, and Jake looked up, confused. He saw the wolf stop after a moment and look at him, "Good...I've given that speech to my family, my wife, Lucas, and I bet I'll have to give it to Ana sometime in the future..."

"So that was all just a speech?" Jake asked. In truth it reminded him of how he and Lucas could change so quickly too.

"Well, it's not just a speech...I mean every word I say, but I have to say it to a lot of people. Most do what you did after a few days or weeks though...not straight away. Jake...evaluating you would take more than just a week," Mr. Vadikson said with a chuckle.

Jake laughed a little and now felt embarrassed. "I'm sorry..."

"It's not a problem. Don't think about it...everyone does it...I did it to my professors. Being skeptical about things is a good thing; just don't be paranoid about it..."

"OK. So..." Jake began, shifting back to the original topic, "is it a fun job?"

"It can be...I get to meet lots of interesting people and what not...but lately its been rough. There aren't a lot of big cities around here, and corporations really like people like me, but here I usually have to do whatever comes to me...I work as a substitute at the school sometimes-now that's where I can have fun with my job. Not in a bad sense...high schoolers are the most fun to watch. If I had worked today I would've just substitute teaching for a freshmen math class...and only one period, so I called in sick, but about my job as a psychologist...yeah its fun,"

"Cool," Jake said with a chuckle.

"What else do you want to know?"

"Nothing in particular...OK if I just ask questions as they come to me?" he asked.

"Sure...now do you mind if I ask a few questions?" Mr. Vadikson said.

Jake realized the wolf had some more personal question for him and smiled lightly, it didn't make him feel sick to talk about them now. "What do you want to know?" he asked.

"Is Lucas eating well?" Mr. Vadikson asked.

"What?" Jake said, confused by how casual the question was, "Uhh...yeah, he eats fine..."

"Is he drinking?"

"...what do you mean? He stays hydrated but he doesn't drink...we're underage,"

"OK good..." Mr. Vadikson replied, "How about studying...we saw his grades, and we're happy, but how does he do in school. Does he struggle with anything?"

"No, not really. If he ever struggles with something then he asks me, and vice versa. Whatever I don't know he tends to know and whatever he doesn't know I tend to know...it's a good system," Jake replied with a laugh.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that...so in truth...ya'lls living together is going well?" he asked.

"Yeah...it's good,"

"And you're sleeping with my son?"

Jake opened his mouth and then the question really hit him. He was left sitting at the table with his mouth open and his hand in the air. He felt like he was frozen in that spot, not able to move. It wasn't that he didn't expect the question; just that no matter how prepared he said he was for it, it was still too shocking. "Uhh..." he began.

"OK," Mr. Vadikson replied, "That told me the answer,"

Jake felt himself blushing now and embarrassed, he wanted to look away and was sure that even under his brown fur the red was visible.

"Don't be so embarrassed about it...I can't say tha ti like the fact all that much but...I just wanted to clear up the air..."

"Yeah...but what about some more...you know, 'personal' space..." Jake said, slightly under his breath.

Mr. Vadikson chuckled at the bear, "You're right...sorry about that. I'll try not to ask too many things like that...so do you two go on dates?"

"Yeah...a few," Jake said, "I mean, we don't really go out in the 'hey let's go on a date tonight' sense so much as 'want to go grab a bite and we can hang out' sense...if any of that was logical," Jake replied. The rest of the conversation wasn't as awkward and he enjoyed it. As time passed Ana woke up and began to run through the house. As she would run by they would lower their voices. After another hour he felt his phone vibrating and saw that Lucas was calling him. He talked with the wolf for a bit, and realized that Lucas was calling him as he was heading home. After another ten minutes the wolf pulled up.

Lucas ran inside and saw that his father was still home, "You're still home Dad...?" he asked. He was out of breath.

"Ouch...sorry," Mr. Vadikson said with a laugh.

Lucas looked over at the bear who just smiled at him. He walked over and sat next to Jake, "So...what have you two done all day?"

Jake could smell sweat on Lucas, but there was also something else. It wasn't an unpleasant scent, but there was something about it that unnerved him. He smiled at the wolf though, "Nothing...just relaxed,"

"Lazies..." Lucas replied and looked away for a moment.

Mr. Vadikson stayed for a moment then got up and left the table, leaving the two alone. Jake could tell something was up with the wolf, but didn't question Lucas on it. The rest of the week passed slowly and a bit pleasantly. Jake began to note strange things that Lucas would do. Even when they were alone he didn't come close to the bear, putting up distance. The week was slow and Jake began to feel distanced from Lucas, and the wolf hardly responded to him. Jake would find Lucas staring at him, but always with a regret in his eyes. As the time for Jake to leave came they stood outside. Jake was throwing the last of his bags into the car and getting in.

"Hey...how are you doing?" Lucas asked, his voice not steady.

"Good....are you OK?" Jake asked picking up on it.

"I think we should talk," Lucas replied.

Jake felt the familiar uneasiness in his stomach and hated himself again as he mouth opened before his brain worked, "What's up?"

"I've been thinking...maybe we should take some time off..." Lucas replied and looked away.

Jake didn't feel his face change. It wasn't that he wasn't shocked, just that now he felt numb. He looked at Lucas, "Why..."

"I don't know...just coming out to my family...having them know...it's not like I thought it would be," Lucas said with a sigh, "Jake...I-"

"Do you mean...like a hiatus...." Jake asked still a bit numbed.

"I don't know..."

"Lucas..."

"Sorry...Jake...I just don't know anymore. Maybe...this isn't right...maybe...I just got carried away..." he said as his thoughts turned back to the otter.

Jake looked down at the steering wheel and sighed, "I get it,"

"You do?"

"Good-bye Lucas,"

"Jake it's not like I want to break up..."

"Don't kid yourself," Jake said lightly.

"What?"

"This isn't right? Yeah, I get it,"

"No, that's not what I meant," Lucas said, wishing he could take back his words.

"What did you mean?" Jake asked.

"I...just...I just meant that-" Lucas tried to say. He felt tears welling up in his eyes as he realized what he was saying.

"Lucas, you want to see someone else then go ahead, but just say so. Are we over?" Jake asked.

"I...don-" Lucas was trying to say but was stopped.

"I'll see you when you come back to college Lucas," Jake said and began to roll out of the drive way. He quickly got out of the city. He still felt numb and was driving as fast as he could-without the cops pulling him over.

Lucas walked inside and saw his father sitting at the couch. His father looked at him, "Oh Lucas...some girl named Lana called,"

"Really?" Lucas asked, his voice shaking.

"Is something up?" his father asked.

"Dad...I don't know..." Lucas said, breaking down.

"What's going on?" his father asked, concerned.

"Dad...I broke up with Jake..."

His father's expression seemed to break for a moment. He looked at his son and then out the window. "Why?"

"Maybe I'm not gay...maybe I'm straight...I felt happy with Lana..."

"Lucas...how well do you know this girl?"

"A bit..."

"I need some air..." Mr. Vadikson said and quickly stood up. He felt bad to leave his son but he was just as confused as Lucas was. He didn't want to say anything to his son with how he was. He thought that Lucas was being foolish, but at the same time realized that the wolf didn't need to be put down. He walked outside and looked at his cell phone. He tried to call Jake but the bear never answered.

****************

Jake arrived back at his apartment and fell down on the couch. He didn't cry, he didn't move. He stared at the ceiling, and the next thing he knew it was the next morning. He didn't bother getting up. He heard the phone ring and heard the answering machine and heard his boss asking where he was. He heard the world around him moving, all of it moving, but he lay there and tried to think of what was happening. Why did Lucas break up with him. Why would Lucas say that he wasn't sure? Jake tried to think of any reason he could to explain the wolf's behavior.

Jake didn't move at all for the first few hours and then he heard the phone ringing again and he stood up. He answered it, "Hello?"

"Jake...are you OK?"

Jake felt a pang of pain and anger run through him as he recognized the voice, "...Yeah...fine..."

"Jake...what happened?" the voice asked. It was Mr. Vadikson.

"You tell me, you're the psychologist!" he yelled into the phone, and then hung up. He stood up and decided the best thing he could do was go to work. The day passed slowly and Jake hardly focused on his work, he was glad it didn't take much effort.

****************

Lucas still worked and eventually hooked up with Lana. He liked the otter a good bit, she was assertive. They began to hang out more and soon she was calling herself his girlfriend. Lucas was happy with her sometimes, but whenever he talked with her he realized that Jake was alone, and felt a pang of guilt ravage him. He still wore the collar Jake gave him, never taking it off. He also noticed that she never asked him if he was OK.

******************

The days passed slowly and before he knew it a few weeks had passed. He had talked with Lucas's father a bit, Mr. Vadikson not wanting to lose contact with Jake. He talked with him frequently, and learned that Lucas had a girlfriend. Like reopening wounds. Mr. Vadikson was very kind to Jake though and talked with him for hours sometimes. After one day of work he drove slowly. When he got back home he saw that he had a few messages. He listened to the machine and then heard Lucas's voice.

"Jake...can we talk...call me,"

Jake looked at the machine and stopped it from playing any others. He pulled out his phone and saw that he had missed four calls, all from Lucas. He dialed the wolf's number and after a few rings it picked up.

"Hello?" Lucas asked.

"Hey..."

"Jake...are you OK?"

"How's it going?" Jake asked, ignoring the question, the answer should've been obvious.

"It's...going," Lucas replied.

"Cool...what did you want?"

"To talk..." Lucas replied and a voice in the background asked who was on the phone.

Jake felt a bolt of rage run through him but he held it back. He listened more intently in the background and heard a voice. It was a girl and Jake realized what the wolf was doing. He was with someone. Jake tried to stop his paw from crushing the phone. "You have company?"

"Sort of..." Lucas replied.

"Friend?"

"I'll talk to you later..." Lucas said and hung up. He looked over at Lana and gave a weak smile.

"Who was that?" she asked.

"Just a friend..."

"OK," she replied and kissed the wolf on the cheek.

Lucas frowned lightly at the touch, and quickly felt a pang of guilt shooting through him. He grimaced and stood up. He walked over to a window and looked back at the otter who was still smiling at him. When he first started seeing Lana it was fun, exciting, but now he couldn't look at the otter right. He did like the otter, and they got along, but the relationship was too superficial. One time they were kissing and he felt her grope at him and he pushed her away. He never let her get too far with him, never wanted to go too far with her. They were like friends, nothing more. He began to hate himself the more he saw her.

Lucas had talked with his dad a bit about him and Jake. His father had been a bit distant after he and Jake broke up. During one conversation his father told him just what he meant to Jake. Lucas felt horrible, and his father didn't help.

"I hope you're a better friend than you were boyfriend...when's the last time you talked to Jake?"

"Since he left..." Lucas said, distraught. Lucas realized that he had broken up with Jake because of one incident that made him feel like he was straight. He didn't even consider Jake's feelings, and now he was miserable.

"Lucas...how can you do that to him? He still calls you his best friend whenever we talk and still speaks well of you, and you...you haven't even taken the time to check up on him..."

"But..." Lucas began and stopped. He looked at his father and then down at the ground. "I..." he tried to say but couldn't.

Lucas tried to call the bear again later, but Jake didn't pick up. He knew Jake was ignoring the calls because it would ring once then goes to voice mail. He couldn't blame the bear either. As the rest of summer came to a close he went to see Lana at her house. He walked up to her door and she opened the door for him. She leaned in and tried to kiss him but he moved away and looked at her, "So...I'm heading back to college,"

"Lucas...I think we need to talk," Lana said.

Lucas felt like it was déjà vu at the words. He looked at the otter, "What's there to really talk about?" he asked.

"I guess there isn't much, but hey...it was fun..."

"Lana...was this all a mistake?"

"...What do you mean sweetie?" she asked and tried to put an arm around Lucas.

Lucas pushed her away, "This...this lie! It's all so fake! It's pathetic!" he said and realized he was scaring her. Despite everything they hadn't once had a serious conversation. Lucas wasn't sure why but Lana never seemed interested in talking about something that he found interesting. The more he thought about it the more he realized that he couldn't wait for this to be over.

Lucas's eyes widened at this and he thought of Jake. Lucas didn't respond. He didn't need to. He got up and walked out of the house quickly. He had talked with Lana about it before and they both knew that their relationship was a fleeting one, which made Lucas feel even worse. As he walked outside he realized he wasn't sad about leaving the otter. He didn't mind it at all. He looked up at the sky and sighed, thinking about Jake.

"Damn it!" Lucas said and hit the steering wheel of his car as he drove. Later that night he was talking with his father, "Am I really that superficial!?"

Mr. Vadikson frowned at his son. He knew that Lucas was still upset about breaking up with Jake, and he knew that his son regretted it. He had seen his son go on dates with the otter, but never once did he see his son initiate any type of affection towards her. He knew Lucas was lost. Mr. Vadikson knew that Jake still loved his son, but didn't want to try and keep him from being happy. He looked at his son and frowned, "Lucas...you're still just a pup,"

"But look at what I've done! You see it better than anyone! I haven't talked to Jake since I last saw him! I can't even call myself his friend!" Lucas found himself practically yelling. Ana was at a friend's house, and his mom was the one dropping her off. He never said these things when his mom was around. He continued to talk with his dad, "I let myself get caught up in some pathetic cheap romance that wasn't even worth going after and because of it Jake probably hates me..."

"He doesn't hate you Lucas," Mr. Vadikson replied. He saw his son's eyes light up and he frowned as he continued. He never lied to his son, "He has every right to hate you thought if you ask me. You were a fool and you may have ruined something that was good,"

"I don't need you telling me that..." Lucas replied with a sob.

"I know that Son," Mr. Vadikson replied, and was now hugging his son.

"What do I do? How could I be so stupid...I said I loved Jake...and I messed up like this!" he said through sobs. He had realized this long before; it was just now that he had to face Jake again that the problems began to really affect him. The thoughts of Jake being angry with him, or just hating him hurt.

"Lucas...I wish I had the answer for you..."

"Dad...I want things to go back to the way they were," Lucas said through another sob.

"Well,..." Mr. Vadikson said and sighed, "You can't always get what you want Son. You know this...and Jake learned it before you,"

Lucas looked up at his father and gave a weak chuckle but his tears were still falling quickly, "You're a terrible person for a pep-talk..."

"I know..." Mr. Vadikson replied and hugged his son more.

"Dad...I want to make things work again...I don't want to try and find someone else. I love Jake...he's a great guy," Lucas said and looked at the ground, "Why am I such a fool? Why did I go after Lana...what the hell was I thinking?!?" he asked furiously and was pulling at his head fur.

"You were confused...you felt trapped,"

"No I didn't! I had Jake... but I pushed him away because i was scared!" he said, now bawling.

"You didn't open up to him,"

Lucas sobbed and tried to think of what he could do to get back Jake. He stayed with his father for a bit and after a few minutes he was able to stop crying. Later he looked at his dad who was still staring at him, "Dad...what did Jake say about me?"

"Not much," Mr. Vadikson replied, "I try not to open large wounds..."

Lucas knew his father wasn't trying to depress him, that he was just being honest with him. He nodded and walked off. He grabbed all his bags and within an hour was ready to leave the house. His mom came in as he was saying good-bye to his father. He looked at her and smiled lightly.

"Lucas? You going somewhere?"

"To Jake's...I'm going to fix this, and don't say anything. I'm not a pup anymore, and to be honest; screw what the family thinks about me loving Jake. I really just don't give a damn. If they can't accept that I'm happy then I'd much rather be happy and hated then be loved and miserable," he said and walked past his mother whose face was drained of blood.

Lucas quickly got into his car and drove off. He kept his collar with him, but had taken it off and was staring at it as he drove, a few tears falling down his cheeks. He drove all night and eventually made it after a few hours. It was three in the morning and he was at the apartment. He put back on the collar. He walked up the stairs and began to knock on the door. He was surprised when Jake actually opened after just a minute. He saw the bear and was surprised at how Jake looked. Jake didn't seem to be different, physically. Lucas noticed though that the bear's eyes were red, bloodshot and that his hands were trembling as he leaned on the door for support.

"What?" Jake asked, his eyes closed.

"Umm...I'm back," Lucas replied sheepishly.

Jake's eyes opened now and he stared at the wolf, but that was all he did was stare at Lucas. Lucas noticed that the bear didn't do anything and couldn't' even tell what Jake was thinking. After a moment Jake moved out of the doorway and pointed to the bedroom, "Well...you know where everything is..." he said plainly.

"I guess I'll go to my-" Lucas was saying before Jake interrupted.

"You can sleep in the old bed..."

Lucas thought for a second that he meant with Jake. He looked back at the bear who was sitting down on the couch. Lucas saw that Jake had a computer there along with some sheets and blankets. He didn't bother asking Jake how long he had slept there. He began to walk off and then turned around, "Jake...are you OK?"

"You can find sheets under the bed," he said plainly as he typed on the computer ignoring the wolf's question.

Lucas nodded and walked off. He realized what Jake was doing now. It was like when they first met. The bear was setting up barriers again, but now he wasn't letting them down to talk with Lucas. Lucas knew that he shouldn't be surprised by the bear's actions, but also realized that this wasn't good. Jake wouldn't let anyone get close to him and was scared that the bear may start to isolate himself too much. He walked into the bedroom and looked around. It looked the same, except for the computer missing and a pillow. Lucas sat on the bed and could still smell it just as he had left it. He realized that Jake hadn't slept here in a while, or his scent would've been stronger.

Lucas lay down and looked up at the ceiling. After a moment he got up and quietly walked down the hall. He looked in the main room and saw Jake sitting there on his computer. He saw the bear was finishing research, and that Jake quickly stopped and waited for a moment.

"Can I help you?" Jake asked.

Lucas wanted to respond but couldn't. He frowned at Jake, "You look like you should get some rest,"

"I don't sleep too much anymore...now if that's all you need then good-night. I'm trying to work so don't come back," Jake replied. After Lucas had broken up with him he decided to take up more work. He now brought the work home with him and was doing not only his professor's work but also the work in the future. Jake was practically doing the entire project himself. He knew that the professor would help but he did this on his own-it let him escape, if even for just a moment. He usually finished his work by three and was up and at the lab after a quick nap, getting there by seven.

Lucas watched the bear for a moment. He wanted to say that he was sorry, but knew that now wasn't the time, or the place. He walked back to the room and lay down and stared up at the ceiling, "Jake...I'm sorry..." he said and placed a paw on his collar again.

Jake was at the couch staring at his computer. He slid off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He adjusted his glasses then and looked back at the computer, staring over the data, "Damn...I missed a calculation," he said to himself.