FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

I wasn't exactly sure what I was expecting when I was told I could have the couch. But it certainly wasn't a couch with a view.

"How high up are we?" I asked pressing my nose to the window and staring out at the city in awe. I had never been so high up in my entire life.

"Expensively high." Michael grumbled as he stepped into the kitchen of the spacious open plan apartment. I could only imagine how expensive the apartment had been. My bedroom back home could have fitted into the kitchen twice over on its own.

"Twenty-two floors and it wasn't that expensive." Brian countered "I was given the money anyway." Given? What sort of a person just gets given money to buy an apartment twenty-two floors up?

"It's amazing." I remarked staring down at the tiny cars moving around.

"Come over here Noah," Brian beckoned "If that tail wags much faster you'll start a hurricane in the living room. You're already stirring up the dust bunnies." It took every ounce of of my strength to tear myself away from the view. I had no idea the city was beautiful at night.

Brian offered me a chair at the breakfast bar and I sat down beside him.

"A few ground rules, it's late and the neighbours don't need to be woken. We've opened our home to you so please keep it tidy and lastly, if you want something or get hungry then just ask." I was a tad confused. When Brian had said ground rules I had expected a lights out time or even a don't go into that room.

"Is that it?" I asked seeing if he had forgotten to add anything.

"If you hear strange noises in our room, don't come in." Michael added as he grabbed a bottle of bourbon out of the cupboard "Oh, and my nephew might be home. He's a grouch if you wake him." Like I would go into their room if I heard noises and Michael nephew lived here as well.

"I'll find you some clothes and get you a towel... Michael are you seriously making a drink at this hour?" Brian asked as Michael poured bourbon and Irish cream over ice.

"Nightcaps don't count, and I made you one too." Brian just rolled his eyes, but accepted the drink.

"You can wait three weeks." Brian told me with a huff, but relaxed after his first sip "Maybe this is why I'm with you." He mumbled taking a second sip. Michael just smirked and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I blushed for what felt like the ten-thousandth time that day. What they had was kind of cute. I wanted that.

"Go for a shower you silly mutt. You smell like the ocean." Brian said kissing his cheek in return.

"Umm, about that towel?" I asked looking down at my damp fur and salt encrusted t-shirt. If I was ever going to attempt to drown myself again, I would have to remind myself to do it in fresh water. Way less icky.

"Sure, just a minute and I'll get you a set of clothes." He looked me up and down "You look about the same size... just give me a minute." Brian said and started down the hall with his drink in hand.

"If I leave you alone, can you promise not to make me regret it?" Michael asked pointedly. They were still worried for me. The facade I had been wearing cracked and I slumped in my seat.

Michael rounded the counter and put an arm around me "You're way too easy to read." Michael said with a sigh. I lent into his chest and let out a sigh myself.

"No sharp objects and no bathtubs." I said to myself just as much Michael.

"You don't have to hide behind bad jokes when things are hard. Just think of tonight like a holiday from your life and we can deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes." Michael whispered. Despite his stiff exterior, Michael was actually a good guy. Maybe that was the reason I ran to him even after he had yelled at me on the beach.

"Yeah, but tomorrow is today" I said gesturing to the clock that said two in the morning "and I'm still going to have to deal with it." I said pensively "Could I go home tomorrow instead, just one extra day?" I pleaded.

"Sorry, but no. For all we know your Dad has cooled off and home could have settled down." He pointed out.

"But everyone knows." I countered him.

"But that is your home and you're still a minor for the next three weeks. We would be kidnapping you and he's your Dad. Sure he ousted you, but maybe it's settled down now that everyones had time to think." He offered. He didn't know my family. Dad would only get worse and my friends didn't take kindly to kids like me. We had openly picked on them in high school. Maybe I had done it just to hide who I really was. If I ever met any of them I would have to apologise. God only knew that they deserved that much.

"Here we have one towel and a set of clothes, you don't mind going commando, do you?" Brian asked and went still when he saw Michael with his arm around me.

"We're all right." Michael promised him "He was just asking about the water pressure and I was telling him it was amazing." He lied. Letting me go. Michael pulled out my chair with me on it and gestured for me to go with Brian. I slowly got up and went to him. I tried to but on a smile, but I knew he could see through it. Still, he didn't ask and I really didn't want to talk more.

Brian led me into a missive bathroom with a shower big enough for four people. It even had three shower heads and one was in the ceiling. It felt like total overkill, and once again, the room was bigger than my bedroom.

"Let me get the water going for you." Brian offered and turned the taps on. I stood awkwardly to the side and waited. This place was like a palace. Normal me would have been exploring every tiny corner of every room I went in. But instead I found myself wishing that the room was smaller.

"Take as long as you need... is it alright if we don't lock the door?" He asked. I nodded. I understood why. I was still on suicide watch and they didn't need any obstacles slowing them down if they had to get to me.

Brian gave me a quick hug and slipped out closing the door behind him. I started getting undressed and managed to get out of my clothes before I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

My face didn't look like my face anymore. My eyes were red and puffy and my mouth looked wrong. I reached up and tugged at each feature like they were moulding clay. It didn't help.

I stepped back and saw the rest of me. It all looked wrong. Everything felt wrong. I hugged myself and stepped back into the shower. A panicked whine slipped from between my teeth. My heart was racing and I slumped down the floor.

None of this had to happen. If I had just been normal everything would have been different. I hadn't even tried to be normal. Instead I had just hidden what I was like and now everything was different.

I looked between my legs and clenched my teeth. I tried to think about girls, hoping that I would feel something. Nothing. So instead I thought about the locker room back in high school. Straight away I felt something inside me stir. I had always been that awkward kid standing in the corner. I had always watched as everyone else fooled around and talked about sports and girls. Thinking back I spent more time trying to sneak a peak of the guy next to me then I did getting dressed.

The water started to run cold and there was a knock at the door "Noah... I'm coming in." Brian said as he slipped inside. I didn't even flinch or try to cover myself. I just stared down the drain like it was some twisted symbology of my life right now.

"Oh, Noah." Brian said when he saw me "Alright... Let's get you cleaned up... Did you use the soap?" He asked. I shook my head. Brian let out a sigh and repositioned the water so he would get wet. I didn't even look up as he soaped up his hands and began to massage the suds into my fur.

"Michael said that you asked for another day." He told me "I think you should try going back home, but is there someone I could call. Maybe if I let them know where you are we could go back a bit later." I slowly looked up at him. From his expression I must have looked even worse then when I got dragged out of the ocean.

"Maybe... my Mum?" I offered "Or my big sister... they weren't home when Dad..." my head slumped and I began to sob.

"Oh no, don't do that... I don't know what to do. Help me out Noah." He pleaded.

I hunched over further and felt like I was going to be sick. Brian patted my back as I desperately searched my head for something.

"I want my Mum..." I howled through the tears.

Brian hesitated but cupped my cheek in his soft paw "Alright, let's take you home." He said before picking me up go the shower floor.

Michael didn't argue as he drove. His face was set firm like he was ready to fight if he needed to. He was way bigger than Dad was, in a fight Michael would always win hands down. Brian on the other hand, sat in the passengers seat with his hand reaching back holding mine.

When I had finally come out of the shower, dried and dressed, Michael had already been holding the car keys and waited by the door. He must have heard me crying or perhaps he already knew that things would turn out this way. Either way, he hadn't said a word since then.

We turned onto my street and I panicked "Maybe this is a bad idea." Michael didn't stop "I can't do this." Brian squeezed my hand tighter.

"No matter what happens we're here with you." Brian told me. That was what scared me the most. What was going to happen?

"This the place?" Michael asked as the car came to a stop. I looked out the window and let out a shaky breath that answered his question better then any words could. The small three bedroom house had been my home my entire life. With its white picket fence and apple tree in the backyard, it was all I had ever know, but now it just looked gloomy and lifeless.

Michael was out of the car before anyone else. He opened my door and Brian raced around to join us as I slowly stepped out of the car. My feet hardly touched the ground before the porch light turned on and the front door flew open. This wasn't going to go well.

Dad flew out of the house and planted himself between us and the front door "Keep that fucking thing away from this house!" He roared. Brian stepped in front of me protectively.

Michael puffed out his chest "Shut your damn mouth you piece of shit!" He roared back with more ferocity than I thought he had in his whole body "Your son almost died tonight, at least have the fucking balls to make sure he's all right!" Michael's voice had woken the street. Every house had their lights on and heads were peaking out most windows. Somehow, this was going exactly how I thought it would.

Dad shifted his gaze from Michael to me "Try harder next time." He hissed. Brian moved fast. He leapt over the small front fence like a gazelle and tackled Dad down with a roar. His fists rained down on him like a storm. Every punch was dedicated and precise. I stared slack away as Michael yanked Brian off of Dad.

"Enough!" Michael growled. Dad clutched his face and moaned pathetically "Brian, get back to the car." Brian turned and marched back towards me obediently.

I reached out and took his hand as he got close. There was a cold rage burning in his eyes but he managed to give me a half smile. Brian had seemed like the cool calm and collected type, but I guessed that everyone carried there own demons.

"Brian... Noah any objections to staying with us?" Michael asked. We both shook our head.

There was a sound by the door to the house and I looked up to see my sister Claire and Mum. I went to got to them "No," Brian tightened his grip "They can come to you. I'm not letting you near that man." Brian said coldly with his eyes firmly locked on the Dad.

Mum said something to Claire. Claire was more like Mum than I was. She looked like a full blood hyena. Claire nodded to Mum and ran back into the house. A moment later she reappeared with a garbage bag in each hand. She strode straight past Dad like he didn't even exist. She was so beautiful and confident. My whole life I had looked up to her as a personal hero. Nothing got under her skin and I had never seen her cry even once.

"Hey Noah, I put together some things earlier. Hope you don't mind that I was in your room." She said. She looked sad "Mum's pretty upset with everyone right now, she wished that you had told her, but she gets it. She wanted me to say that she still loves you." I looked to where Mum stood hugging the doorframe.

"Tell her sorry for me." I whispered.

"You know I will. Also, my old phones in the bag. I put my number and Mum's in it. It'd be cool if we could meet in a few days. Maybe get something to eat? I could get the rest of you stuff and..." tears where in her eyes "Stupid jerk, I wanted to move out of home first." She teased sticking her tongue at me.

"I'm sorry I stole you thunder Sis..." I said and we hugged "I'll make up for it. I promise." I told her.

"Yeah, well. Message me your address and you better take care of yourself and..." her expression darkened and she looked up at Brian "If he ever tries to hurt himself again fucking kick his ass." She growled.

"I promise." Brian said firmly.

"I love you." Claire said as she gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and almost ran back to where Mum waited for her with open arms. I stared at he house I had called my home for a while. I had loved it here. I had good memories here, but that was over now. In one short day my whole life had been torn away from me.

"C-Can we go?" I asked Brian as I looked down at the ground.

"Michael, we ready to go?" Brian asked. He had turned back to cool and collected Brian now. Rage Brian had been intimidating so I was glad that he was back to normal.

"Yeah, I think so." Michael said spitting on the ground beside Dad "but if we ever have to come back here..." Michael let the threat hang and turned to join us.

"Walk away!" Dad screamed sitting up "None of you ever come back or I'll call the police!" He added cradling a bloody nose. Michael didn't even look over his shoulder. I honestly had never seen my Dad look more pathetic. I half guessed that he was even sitting in a puddle of his own piss.

Michael loaded my things into the car and Brian dragged me into the back seat with himself. The car started and I glanced out the window and took one final look at my old home and life. It was bittersweet, but at the same time I wasn't as afraid anymore.