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Thirty-Four: Never Ticking Again

I close my eyes, sobbing with the rain falling as if nature synchronises with my emotions. I feel like the rain helps to cleanse me in both ways. I look down at my latest piece of artwork. Giffard lay facedown, arms and legs sprawled, his crown mutilated by the bullet, and eight holes scattered in his back. What really gets my attention is that a lone figure watches me.

I take in a long sniff before I speak, "I know that you still linger, Vadimir." Silence, save for the rain. "You are a mercenary. And I humiliated you. Why not kill me where I stand?"

I hear a few footsteps before he announces, "I olready waded through thugs and used up oll my bullets."

I turn to where he stands. He seems not to mind that he is getting wet. I ask, "Why did you follow me, and tell Jack that I would be here?"

He answers plainly, "Only I get to kill you." I stay where I am and make no movements. He then orates, "I know rage oll too well. I used that rage on abusive spouses and parents. I even killed a pastor to prevent an exorcism. I wos in this borough three years ago and begat a faction battle.

"On the street, I saur a grown wolf assault 'is cub until she stopped breathing. I bawled fer that cub, and wanted to cause that wolf pain. I did worse than stab him... I kicked 'is bollocks until they could 'ave gone numb. I sliced along his neck repeatedly... I rent 'is flesh until I reached the spine... Then, with my bare 'ands... I tore 'is head from his body...

"Numerous wolves saw this, for they heard my tearful howls, agonising for the cub... I would learn that he wos a member of the disgraced aristocratic house, Elmsmore. I learned of the horrible things about them and could confirm the rumours about them. The men's minds 'ad warped so severely that they likely forgot even their names.

"I got involved with them, wanting those men punished. But I learnt the 'ard way that I could not take them alone. I reached an understanding with a wandering clan, the leader of which I loved like a sister... She engaged war with them whilst I challenged the patriarch, and his daughter fought her uncle... We won... But there would still be other criminals in Highcond, sowed like seeds..."

I would walk past him if I had paid him no heed, but he makes a point with his story: he and I are alike in some ways. Vadimir might know what is on my mind, trying to edge out his speech, for he presents the arm behind his back. My Khopeshes. He holds the blades in a fist, my mask over their hooks. He then answers my question. "MacNiadh ordered 'is men ter escort the kittens to the orphanage."

I slowly reach out for the pair of weapons that are part of who I am. I take them in hand. Pocketing the mask, I sheathe my Khopeshes. Vadimir then tosses his cane and pistol toward me. He states, "A method to ask fer yer trust." He continues, "You know the real reason I took MacNiadh's side against the Lowell House. I know of Nadine like you do, and I know where she intends to go, expecting that you want 'er."

I ask bluntly, "How?"

"I took the word of a cub named Julian, having requested that he follows 'er. He did not disappoint."

"And he wos not afraid of you?"

"No", he answered bluntly. He continued, raising a finger, "You waste time questioning yer trust in me the Lowell House became the first people I loathed since the Elmsmore clan. My word might be the only evidence, but it will get you somewhere. She bought a ticket in advance to depart the southwestern station of Knightsedge she intends to leave Highcond for good and most likely begin anew."

I sigh. If she has not left Highcond yet, she must be waiting for me, setting a trap that would finish me. I state bitterly, "I still need to tend to my wounds and rest." I finally walk past the red-eyed black wolf, striding to where the faction battle has just ended.

Vadimir barks, "Whot makes y-so certain that you have time?"

"I just know", I retort without looking at him.

Following me, he says, "I have also rescued cubs when wounded."

"I think you can see whot Giffard did t-me during yer transit to here."

The few gas lamps make the scattered and mutilated bodies easier to see for those not active all night. Upon returning to where the fight broke out and enabled me to fight Giffard, I discern the six bodies missing one or both legs and the charred crater in the surface. Several had fallen forward from having been shot while running. Other weasels and canines lay sprawled with both lacerations and bullet holes. Giffard's numbers were still not enough for Jack's crew. Though a few of Jack's men did not survive, they finished their job. The losses and the destruction were worth the diminishing of Giffard's faction. As promised, the kittens are absent. I doubt that he would renege on what he wanted Vadimir to tell me; the fox is an arms racketeer, not a trafficker. However, something gives me a new reason to cry--

Until Vadimir blurts out, "He also wanted me to inform you that the woman will be with somebody named... Lagorio... in Subroot..." His words almost fail to reach me. I suddenly lament that I am not the one holding her. The image of her lying facedown on the ground with a hole in her head has already sunken in. My failure...

Vadimir adds, "You are not the only one to lose somebody close. But I fear that this is also no good time to grieve."

You are right, Vadimir: I can grieve for Pasht after I have extricated her daughter. However, there must be one more order of business before I check into a hospital. I produce a match that I have been keeping as I head through the house's doorway, and then toss Giffard's gun aside. I scrape its chemical head against the box's side chemical. Producing a flame takes three attempts. I pass the yellow flame to the pipe bomb nearest the threshold in my sight.

I casually toss the match over my shoulder and then head right back out, not looking back. Destroying a house building up scum and mildew is like a mercy kill for a prisoner of war. I end up taking the red-eyed black wolf's hand and forcing him to run with me. He sees why, for one explosion becomes a chain of many, like the rhythm of drums. We are a fair distance from the range of flying splinters and shrapnel when the final thunder sounds.

I sense the mercenary look back, and then to me, walking casually. He has no questions about why I destroyed that one house of all places. I appreciate that we have fought on the same side this once, but I know that our paths will one day cross again. It is only the matter of seeing where we stand that is significant.

I look to the distance as I keep going. You and I are two different warriors, Vadimir. Being of different families and looking different from each other should not divide us. If we knew each other years ago, you could have been like a brother to me. If you know love like I do, you should know what revenge means to me.

After spending only a few hours at the hospital where my wounds were stitched, I took the reins of the first carriage that I saw. I followed the roads to Knightsedge. The rain has not let up since I finished Giffard. Even now, street thugs filch from unsuspecting victims, but they are not my concern. I cannot help everyone. Rather quickly, the cement and brick buildings with metal roofs greet me again.

Now that I am in the borough, I eased up slightly, reaching the east side. I veer side-to-side on the roads, evading steam-powered, train-like carriages. No time to hear the operators complain about or insult my choices. I drown out the sounds of gears clattering from those carriages, as well as those of other wheels grinding the pavement.

I have to scramble when reaching the ground. I gave the horse no time to slow down. I am not even there to calm him when he wigs out. The station is in my sight. All my weapons are at my disposal. Michi announces from above that he has been with me all this time, if not only a few minutes; I still fail to know how he gets around so rapidly. He goes on ahead of me whilst I jog to the train station.

Almost the instant that I am outside the station's marketplace, Michi caws from a distance, and I make out a rifleman standing the roof's edge. Michi descends upon him, giving me time to dash out of his sight. I draw both Khopeshes at the entrance with stairs and leap toward them both, thrusting their blades deep in their midsections. As quickly, I withdraw them and leave the bodies to sprawl on the cement. I head up the steps and drive the blades in the backs of two other well-dressed--albeit tattered--men. I sheathe my Khopeshes as the limp bodies fall. I lift my leg, to produce my stiletto.

The instant that I see a dog point her pistol at me, I hurl my stiletto, and it lands in her chest. She stumbles, coughing blood. I get a bomb out next. From above, I hear Michi caw.

I turn that way, and two badgers point their rifles at me. I leap out of their bullets' paths, which scares away the few civilians awaiting the next train ride. After another lunge, I toss the bomb to them. They both catch fire and let out a blood-curling scream. I can guess where Nadine and Ghaliya are, knowing Michi's insistence.

I sprint across the track, reaching for my Naginata. Three more dogs challenge me. I dig for my last bomb and throw it on the ground, creating a cloud of smoke. Holding my breath, I thrust the glaive into the dog in front of me. Then, I make an arc, slashing against the midsection of the dog on my left. With a returning motion, I slash her throat. I turn to my right, countering the blind strike, and then drive the Naginata straight up, through the dog's jaw and reaching her brain. I withdraw my Naginata and let the body go limp. I re-hook it before crossing the threshold of the brick wall.

There Ghaliya is, against the wall, tied up. However, I get tackled to the tiled floor. Growling, I see Nadine pass me, drawing a gun from the back of her belt.No! Not her! I scramble to get up and dash toward Ghaliya, drawing my Khopeshes. The white she-wolf aims her pistol at the kitten--

A yowl echoes! Her hand bleeds profusely from cuts by my Khopeshes. Looking into her green eyes, I snarl, "You will never touch her again, Bitch!" I bodyslam into her, knocking her back. Then, I place my foot over the dropped pistol, sliding it out of reach.

Nadine, clad in a closed reddish-violet jacket with a brown shroud-like epaulette, chainmail over the chest, and black trousers, ignores the pain in her right hand, growling through clenched teeth and drawing a sword from a scabbard. She rasps, "I thought Giffard could not slay you!" She gets to the point, lunging to me, to slash across my chest. I quickly block it with my left Khopesh. Then, she waves the scabbard, which I deflect as well. I kick her shin, and then force her to back up as I counter with two swift cuts. Upon blocking both blows, Nadine slashes upward--"Giffard did something right for once"--and then slashes downward--"He weakened you." She then swings its sheath.

I make her back up again with a slash to the left, and then a spin, arms stretched out. "You could have left any time y-wanted to." Vertically scissoring with the blades and Nadine blocking, I add, "You caused your own downfall." She scrapes her sword and scabbard aside and backs up yet again, blood now dripping from her hand. I state, "You were a fool to set a trap, whether you waited three hours or three days." The white she-wolf just stands there. So, that method is out of the question.

I approach, this time thrusting both blades to her, but as a feint. I then turn the blades, swiping at an angle, a fraction of a second apart. Nadine steps back and deflects my Khopeshes when I slash both of them straight down at once. She spreads her arms to push them aside--"I thought you wanted only Giffard dead"--and then Nadine spins, attempting to mimic my move. That turns out to be a feint, and she jabs the scabbard at my right leg. That causes my balance to waver. I just barely deflect her stab with my left Khopesh. I lunge aside--"He is not the only one deserving ta die"--and then slash horizontally with my left Khopesh, and then on an angle with my right Khopesh. Nadine tries to block the second blow, only to get a slit on the back of her wrist. I then swipe both blades upward again, this time breaking a hole in the brass chainmail. I perform a scissor motion, penetrating the fabric and just breaking the skin. Nadine has her back against the brick wall when I execute a reverse-scissor movement--

Only for Nadine to stop me from completing it. She presses her sword and scabbard to where my blades bend, and drops to the floor. She then sweeps my leg. She succeeds, breaking my defences. Nadine attempts to stab me while we are both on the floor. I roll away, and we scramble to our feet at the same time. Nadine swings the sheath, and it lands on my shoulder. She is right about Giffard weakening me. I drop to one knee, the wounds tender. She hits me there again, this time with the hilt of her sword. However, my shoulder goes stiff.

I manage to deflect her thrust toward my chest. I lunge backwards. I get on my feet with a backflip. Then, I re-approach Nadine, thrusting both Khopeshes at her chest and midsection. She approaches, slamming the blades, not caring what would follow my feint. I take advantage of that, pulling at her legs with the hooks of my Khopeshes. As it turns out, her leather boots reach her upper legs. Still, it disorients her. I spring upward, headbutting her chin. The blow connects. I then see that the chainmail over her midsection was pulled from the seam. I throw myself at her, this time driving my Khopeshes to her shoulders. I succeed, and she yowls. I then pull the hooks out, seeing that the wounds are not deep. I manage to parry her counter. If only I could get my Khopesh in that scabbard, I could lower her defences. However, she is not done with her counter. Before I could make the next move, she jabs the sheath at my shoulder. It hurts as much. I end up trying to block her sword. Our blades scrape with each other. Just when I think that I could use my right Khopesh again, Nadine swings the blade to the side of my neck. Her sword leaves a slit in my blazer.

I lunge backwards, and then spring toward Nadine again--only to do nothing with my Khopeshes. I stretch my leg straight out, landing a hit to where I cut her midsection. That stuns her. I perform a spin kick with both legs, and both hits land to her jaw. That leaves me an opportunity. I leap to the right, and then jump from against the wall. My foot hits her snout, and she falls backwards. I turn around, seeing her sprawled out. I bring my Khopeshes straight down--

And miss. She rolls away. I cannot let surprise get to me. However, a shrill caw surprises us both. My raven friend swoops through the door and lifts himself toward Nadine. Michi caws while clawing at Nadine's nose. Nadine swings both her sword and scabbard at him, to no avail. He just reaches her eyes, but she successfully swats him away like an insect. Nadine then slashes at him. To show its succession, my friend drops to the floor.

His sacrifice is not in vain, for I manage to slash both her legs, to which she groans. Nadine seems to stumble, which I deny is true. I spin on an angle with my arms stretched out, cutting her side and upper arm. That weakens her further. I stab where her side bleeds, and she groans again, followed by a cough.

Now, I wait for her to get up. She uses the scabbard as a crutch. All white fur on her right hand has caked and is stained red. She looks up at me... and then slashes her sword--

For the last time. At the same time that she leaves a slit in my blazer, vest, shirt, and skin, I drive both Khopeshes in her midsection. I look into her green eyes as I push the blades further into her body. I shove her back, and she falls, coughing up blood. I look upon her sternly before I sheathe my Khopeshes.

I then approach the silver kitten, who has not left where I first saw her here. I lower to one knee and undo the ropes around her ankles, and then her wrists. Once I free her arms, she wraps them around me. I hug Ghaliya back, eyes closed, my heart heavy. I have eradicated the Lowell House, but at a cost. Upon my eyes, I turn to where my raven friend, who has been with me for three years, and might know me better than anyone, lay sprawled.

I hear Ghaliya whisper, "Big Sister..." I remain focused on Michi's body. She speaks up, "Big Sister." I sense that she looks in the same direction, but her gaze is on Nadine. She looks straight-up, adding, "Where is my mother?" She repeats, but in her primary language, "Ain- Umi?"

At twelve years of age, she knows about wars as much as both her parents. She is bloody well savvy about the cycle of life and death. So, why can I not bring myself to tell her that her mother, who has been a mother to hundreds of cubs, including myself?

My ear twitches at sensing her tense. I finally look down at her, and look into the emerald eyes matching her mother's. Those eyes become glassy with her tension. Her muzzle scrunches, and she slightly bares her teeth. It reminds me of my reaction to seeing my mother dead and my step-father dying. I barely open my mouth, only to let out no words. Where did my boldness go? She trembles and a tear rolls down her cheek.

I open my mouth again and murmur, "I am sorry, Ghaliya..." That is when she sobs. She buries her face in my chest, muffling her snivelling, staining my shirt with her tears. I spoke, "I tried... I tried to save her... I wos willing ta give myself up for 'er freedom, but she..." I cannot bear to go into details. "Some things are beyond our control. If I lament anything else, I cannot save everyone. I just need to accept that." Ghaliya's life has been more challenging than anyone thinks. She should have had good examples and mentors, her mother being a spymaster, and her father being an esteemed militant. However, their careers drove them apart. Ghaliya would travel between Symphon and Dahalo, for each parent to be close to her. Furthermore, much is expected of her, knowing the kinds of people her parents are--or were. A year after I returned to Highcond, she was informed that she would one day take up the mantle of Pasht. I thought that I would know nobody to get me through my grief.

I speak, "You 'ave only me to blame. The Lowell House were willing to exploit weaknesses and cheat at the games. 'Tis whot criminals do. Their most dangerous enemies are people with nothing to lose. I only seemed that way until your mother paid for my error. Anyone with people to protect are also dangerous foes, but are easy to coerce. These criminals are prone to double-crossing, as well. A betrayal that I fell for." I pull her away to have her look at me. I continue, "My opponent pulled the trigger, but 'twos by my acts. I should 'ave been the one to take that bullet."

She pounds at me. I willingly take it, weak as I still am from fighting Giffard and Nadine. I try to stay still and stoic, but the pain in my shoulder sears me. She keeps it up until her arms tire out, and then she continues crying again. I slowly stand up.

My first order of business: picking up Michi. I take him in both hands and cup his body. I speak, "Come along, Ghaliya." I pause, expecting her to hesitate. However, my ear twitches at something. I start walking and sense her following closely. In the same carriage that I took getting here, I return to Tolden, to retrieve my luggage from where I previously sojourned.

Then, I make my next destination is Subroot. It has been two or three months since my previous travel there, and it still feels too soon. The whole ride on the train taking Ghaliya and me to the borough known for having the most disease cases in the city, is quiet. She dares not question why I have Michi's body in a small paper box; she knows what the raven means to me, and how much. I grow worried for her as she claimed that she was not hungry when I suggested breakfast before departing. I bought a large breakfast, which I eat aboard, hoping to tempt her... to no avail.

I knock on the front of a brick flat next to a pub made of the same bricks. The door opens to a familiar spectacled glossy black cat. She speaks, "I was-a told to expect you. Please, enter." She moves aside. Both Ghaliya and I cross the metal threshold, to enter the vast tiled chamber of tables cluttered with complex machines.

I ask, "Who else knows that the High Priestess is 'ere?"

Lagorio answers, "Only those that-a Messer MacNiadh ordered to bring 'er."

I sneer at her and seethe, "Her former husband deserves to know who is tending to 'er body."

The cat speaks defensively, "But Lady Death, I am as much a criminal as Messer MacNiadh is. I could-a land in deep water by informing a foreign militia that we keep a woman that means something to 'im."

I object, "He will not give a toss whot kinds of people are preserving the woman's body. His Lordship deserves to know that his daughter is safe and the people behind the capture of them both, are dead now."

Suddenly, the pupils of her jade eyes go wide. "You killed Lowell?!"

"And his sister." I add sternly, "Allow me to contact the kitten's father. Now."

The black cat looks past me, to focus on the moping silver cat. Lagorio then looks at me, suspicious. Her expression is as quick to waver with a sigh. "The things I do for Messer MacNiadh."

"Wait." She is about to head to where the telephone is. Whilst Lagorio has my attention, I speak, "You are the only one about whom I know that is knowledgeable at preservation, and I will need to come back yet again." I raise the paper box holding Michi's body. She re-approaches me, to take the box.

Curious about the contents, she lifts the lid to know that it is the body of a raven. Lagorio states, "The task should-a be much simpler than anyone I am-a tasked with examining." She nudges her head, indicating where the telephone is, among the many gadgets on the counter.

I crank the machine up and turn the dial. Someone speaks, "Mau-Re Sanctuary."

"It is the wolf with the one violet eye. If Lord Saqqaf is present, I demand to speak to him. The matter is urgent."

"He has not yet made port in Ventine", the male voice replies. "What topic makes such matter urgent?"

I ask back, "How long will it be before his ship makes port?"

"A few hours yet."

I sigh. I wish that he could receive a telegram somehow. Unfortunately, the chain of messengers would make things more difficult. I press, "Know you at which harbour Lord Saqqaf would arrive?"

I hear the rustling of papers before the voice answers, "Based on the telegrams, he should be at Buchine Castle." Then, he offers, "I can request them to relay a message."

I sigh again. I see no other way. Looking at Ghaliya, I say, "My message: 'To Lord Saqqaf: Go to the unmarked brick building next to Knight of Clovich, in Subroot. Somebody is waiting for you.' That is all."

I hear patterns of clicks. Then, the male voice says, "It is done. Expect delays; a local envoy will attempt to subside his anger."

I am glad to not be in the world of politics. I respond, "I note that. Let the others know that I will come home soon. Until then."

"Farewell, for now."

"Ta-ta." I then hang up. I watch Ghaliya head to the back, and instinctively follow her.

The kitten might have seen the metal door and wanted to see what is behind it. Now, Ghaliaya has her answer. Yet, she paces around, wanting something. She eyes the devices on the shelves. I wish I knew how dangerous and fragile the gadgets are, especially handled by a kitten. I speak, "Those were expensive to make." Ghaliya ignores the statement, taking metal orbs--obviously bombs--in her hands. I lunge toward her and snatch them before she can hurl them across the chamber. "You know not whot these do." She ignores me again, taking what I assume are components for plasma guns. Lagorio will not be held accountable for Jack's effects getting cocked up. I manage to snatch them from Ghaliya's hands, and this time push her away. "These are somebody else's items." Yet again, she gives no toss what I tell her. Upon taking what appears to be a large screw with a lens and a gear with a battery, I decide that I must stop her. I nick the devices from her hands. This time, I grab her wrists, growling, "This mus' stop!" She shakes, trying to get out of my vice-like grip. I add assertively, "Look at me!" She refuses and continues attempting to shake herself away from me. I snarl, "Look at me!" I never thought that I would have to discipline my mother figure's daughter. Ghaliya only stops because she has used too much energy. I speak, "Breaking somebody else's objects will solve nothing. Throwing and punching whatever you see will not make you feel better. Just because you lost your mother is no reason to cause other people's pain."

She hisses, "How would you know?!"

"Because I felt the same way before", I answer. "When I lost my mother and step-father, all my emotions betrayed me. I wos surrounded by other cubs whose parents were taken from them, but I doubted they knew the feeling. I saw my mother and step-father die. Furthermore, I wos the only wolf among those orphans. Your mother helped the process along, my theoretical rebirth and reinvention. Because I wos rushed into heading to the Sanctuary, I had no time to process until my arrival." I lose her attention, for she attempts again to pull out of my grip. "Please, listen", I say calmly. "You are better off not having killed my enemies. You would have not realised that revenge is not the only factor. I waited seventeen years to kill the man who killed my mother and step-father. I thought that revenge was my only purpose, until I learned of more stories about other lives that he ruined, if not took himself."

"What about you?" Ghaliya spits.

I explain, "The four other kittens that they captured, saw your mother die." She gasps. I continue, "They already grieve for 'er, as well. Giffard was the one holding the gun, the one whose finger pulled the trigger, but he did so because of me. He wanted to fill the kittens' hearts with despair whilst he assaulted me. He threatened to have the kittens killed if I fought back. I would 'ave bled out if I 'ad no such aid for which I never asked. I planned to have us both crushed by a demolished house if I could make no deal fer yer safety, but that never worked.

"I committed the erratum of leading my enemies to the Sanctuary and enabling them to capture the High Priestess. Giffard killed your mother to weaken my spirit and those of the other kittens. It would 'ave worked if I forgot that you were in the same peril. It had to be me all along, the cub of the slave that escaped. I killed the members of the Lowell House for other people. I rid the city of its most infamous crime clan, but at a price. I understand that your mother is irreplaceable because she was your mother, but she would 'ave never wanted you to avenge her."

I take no chances even when Ghaliya seems to have cooled down. I add, "If you need to vent your anger, do it to me. Her blood is on my hands." I then let go of her wrists.

The silver cat hesitates. She stares at me intently until she realises that she needs to blink. Looking away, she claims, "I could never hurt you. Not my sister." I lift my mask over my head and lower my arm.

I speak, "You might know what war does, but you know nothing about retribution. There is a famous story about a house meant to be disbanded, but stayed together. Their Samurai lord was disgraced and saw no method of atonement save for ritual suicide. The warriors that he once controlled became masterless outsiders. However, they knew of the real crime. They plotted their vengeance because they knew that they required preparedness. That house set siege to a castle on their own, and killed the ones truly responsible for their lord's disgrace. They considered it a blood debt, which was paid in the end. They were so satisfied that they were willing to join their lord in death."

Now, Ghaliya was baffled. "Big Sister, would you really have joined your mother and step-father in death, too?" Silence. As quickly, she went in disarray, shouting, "You could never do that! Too many of us care too much about you to let that happen!"

"I prepared myself for breaking the Lowell House foundation and killing that man. I considered nothing else in my life." I pause, sighing. "I intended to crush Giffard and myself to death by demolishing my old house. That would be my final offer: if I wos to die, he would die with me. But when I looked at who lay on the ground whilst he tortured me, the moment I was extended an opportunity, I realised that I needed to save you. I could never let Nadine corrupt an innocent."

Ghaliya asked, now in tears, "And now, Big Sister?"

"I can only ask myself whot I can do now that I slew the most reviled people in Highcond." Ghaliya closed in on me and wraps her arms around me. I return the gesture. Revelation: this kitten is to become the next Pasht, the High Priestess of Mau-Re. She is lucid about those who would suffer if Death's disciple parted with the world back in Tolden, along with her adversary. With Ghaliya now calm, yet grieving, we can patiently await the arrival of her father.