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You could split humans up into three categories: The people who make the rules, the people who follow them, and the people who question them. Since there's no way the people who make the rules would ever listen to this I'm going to assume you're either a Thinker or a Follower. If you question the rules or find yourself asking "Why?" more often then naught then you're a Thinker. If you follow instructions and/or rules blindly without any consideration, then you're a Follower. The next part is for Thinkers only; you followers won't want to hear this anyway. Oh and please don't confuse Thinkers with nonconformist.

I have a question for all of you Thinkers out there. For all of you soon-to-be Thinkers try to keep an open mind. What do are your views on pokephilia? For you soon-to-bes, I call you Halfies, who are turning your heads in disgust, just hear me out. Have you ever asked yourself "Why is it wrong?" If you answered "Because it just is." Then you are a Follower, leave. If you answered "Because it goes against God." You are a Follower, leave. If you have prepared a long list detailing just why it is wrong then you are a Follower, and most likely nerd, leave. If you actually asked yourself the question without letting the rest of the worlds opinion of it get in your way then congratulations, you're on your way to becoming a Thinker. You see if you look past all that crap that's been force-fed to you since you were little you'll see that a lot of things don't make sense. Pokephilia for instance, look into it, the only reason people think its wrong is because they just do. Don't believe me? Well let's look at the standard arguments.

_"_It's abuse! You're hurting them!"

Ah yes that one seems to be the most popular, fortunately it's also the easiest to discredit. Incase you are a hardcore Follower, or just plain retarded, then you could see that each and every pokemon has thoughts, emotions, a personality, and most importantly, THE ABILITY TO CONSENT! Any psychic pokemon could tell you that. Not only that, but have you ever tried to harm a pokemon yourself? Most of them have claws, fangs, and enough strength to rip you in half. If they didn't want it, if you were hurting them, believe me you would know. Now tell me this, what is the difference between a man mounting his pokemon and a pokemon mounting a woman? Think about it, how could the latter possibly be abuse? It can't, moving on.

"All of you pokephiliacs are just taking advantage of your pokemon for your own sexual desires."

This one is used mostly by the less educated. Here's a hypothetical for you. A man's pokemon, let's say a female Mightyena, goes into heat. You know how desperate female pokemon get when they are in heat. The Mightyena can't find a mate so she begs the man to do it. The man refuses but the Mightyena is obviously desperate, she rapes the man, some how, don't question it for now it's just a hypothetical. They are caught in the act and the man is sent to jail. Bullshit? Yes, but it HAS happened, just earlier this week in fact, I'll tell you more later. Now I'm not going say that there aren't people who use their pokemon's heat for that reason, but 9 times out of 10 it usually isn't the case.

"It is not the way God intended it!"

Read the newspaper lately? Apparently God's a pokemon.

"...Bullshit!"

I say that about raps that up. The cornered Follower's last resort would be "Because it just is." So tell me, why, why in the name of all that is holy is it frowned upon? Why do so many people hate it? Why are pokephilia "criminals" judged so harshly? Sigh, if there's one downfall to being a thinker it's that 90% of the questions we ask never get answered. I'll never know why people act so stupid and close-minded... I just realized something; I just wasted 5 minutes thinking up an argument that I'll never tell anyone. This is what happens when Thinkers have nothing to do.

Will rolled onto his side; his eyes were closed because he hated looking at his own bland décor. He knew he would have to open them eventually so he decided now would be better then later. Upon half opening his eyes he was treated to a plain hardwood door across the room. Nothing occupied his dull white walls except for one poster he thought would liven things up. The poster was faded from being in the sun for years; it used to say "Join the Pokemon League Today!" Now the text was barely legible and the once vibrant colors were all pale. It almost matched the white of the walls and Will had no doubt that in a year or so it would. The entire floor was covered in a beige colored carpet. Stain free due to the fact that Will never brought food into his room or wore his shoes inside. His bed was in the corner, it had no covers or sheets on it since it wasn't where he slept. On the wall perpendicular to the bed was an old wood desk, there was an expensive but plain looking grey computer set atop. There were three shelves scattered around his room, there was nothing on them. All of this combined with a small square window made Will's room the most boring in all of existence. He hated it. It reminded him just how ordinary he was, or how ordinary he forced himself to act.

Will sighed, slid off of his bed, and made his way over to the door, dragging his feet the entire way. Upon opening the door he was greeted by a grovyle.

She always waits for me outside of the door since I never let her in. She wouldn't want to see the things I do inside anyway.

"Gro?" The little grass pokemon said as it cocked its head to the side.

"Yeah, yeah I know you're hungry, come on." After closing the door behind him, Will began to slide his way to the kitchen, the hardwood floors in the hallway were polished to perfection so he ran no risk of catching his sock on a nail or stray piece of wood. Right before he reached the opening that lead to his kitchen, Will had to pass by his full body mirror. One of the two mirrors he had in his entire house.

Why the hell haven't I moved this thing yet? I look like a damn Follower.

Will's appearance seemed to match his house's décor. At the moment he was wearing only his blue jeans and a pair of white socks. He was six feet tall and had fairly pale skin. His arms and legs were surprisingly well toned but Will didn't know how they stayed that way, he hadn't worked out in years. He never could grow any facial hair so his face was as smooth as a baby's skin. His hair was black and always slicked back, that was mostly for his job. The only things extraordinary about Will are his eyes. Due to a birth defect his irises are a shiny silvery grey, but after years of being called a freak he finally decided to buy contacts to make them look brown, they don't help with his vision, he has 20-20. Not even his grovyle has seen his real eye color in years, he rarely removes his contacts.

Will scoffed at the mirror and went into the kitchen, finally picking up his feet to move.

Will liked the kitchen, not only did he like to cook; but the kitchen was the only room in the house that didn't seem so mundane to him. It had a variety of appliances and dishes strewn neatly across the countertop. The sheer abundance of utensils and food made Will feel like a chef, a job he wished he had chosen.

Maybe I should go back to college for that. Heh, too much work.

Grovyle skipped past Will and hopped up to her stool alongside the table. Will opened the cabinet and pulled out a can of pokechow. Most pokemon can't stand pokechow but it was the only thing grovyle would eat, unless Will happened to cook something.

"Breakfast routine go." Will said as a smile found its way onto his face.

He spun the can in his hand and placed it onto an electric can opener. As soon as the opener started its whirring sound he flew over to the refrigerator and grabbed a box of cereal off the top. With one swift motion he grabbed a bowl out of the sink and poured his cereal, making sure to keep an eye on the pokechow. With an expert throw the cereal box was back in its place and the refrigerator was opened. With another seamless motion he poured his milk, put the cap back on, and threw it back into the fridge. The pokechow was just about opened so Will slid back to it; on his way he passed by the sink. He grabbed a spoon, tossed it backwards, and grabbed a bowl for the pokechow. The opener stopped its whirring sound right as Will got to it, the can dropped in his hand and he poured the bowl of pokechow. The spoon he threw earlier landed in his bowl of cereal with a small splash. Without looking he threw the can behind him and ran for his bowl of cereal with the pokechow in hand. On the way he passed by the sink again, grabbing a washcloth from inside he cleaned up the small amount of spilled milk and threw it back into the sink. With both bowls in hand now, Will ran towards the table and sat down, sliding the pokechow in front of grovyle right as the can he threw a moment ago landed in the trash can.

Why am I NOT a chef, I kick ass!

Grovyle closed her eyes and clapped at the performance, not very well due to her claws but it was the thought that counted. She loved watching him cook or prepare food, it was the only time that he ever seemed to come out of his slump, and well it was the only time she ever saw him happy. Breakfast was routine, they ate in silence and when they were done Will would instantly clean and shelve the dishes.

Will glanced at the kitchen clock, it read 9:00. He sighed and made his way his way back into the hallway, dragging his feet yet again. He turned right this time, away from the mirror and his room. There were no pictures, paintings, or plants lining the hallway or the rest of his house. Plain white walls and beige carpeting were prominent. A few seconds later Will reached his living room. All of the standard living room pleasantries were there, a small table with two chairs, a lamp, a couch, and in front of the couch a modest TV. The couch was slightly darker beige then the carpet but not enough to stand out.

The remote control was already waiting on the arm of the couch as Will sat down. He snatched it up and switched the TV on; it was already on the news channel. Two news anchors were dressed in grey suits, one was a white guy, and the other was a black woman. She spoke first. "Breaking news on last week's pokemon abuse scandal."

Here we go again.

"Rodney Manger, who was caught last week raping his Breloom, has been on trial for the past week. Rodney still claims that, ahem 'She raped me!'"

"Ridiculous." The male reporter added. They both started to laugh at this.

Real funny, I hope your asses get raped by Aggron.

The male reporter continued. "Just an hour ago the judge reached a verdict. Rodney was found guilty of all charges and sentenced to life imprisonment."

WHAT, they are getting more and more harsh with these pokemon 'abuse' laws. Four years ago getting caught would result in your pokemon taken away from you, and now fucking life in prison!?

"Well hopefully that'll teach the people out there that abuse is wrong, right Diane?"

"You bet Mark, now coming up we have a story on-" Will switched the TV off and was scowling at the screen.

Pieces of shit, I'd love to see THEIR expression after they get raped by a pokemon. I hope they do, wouldn't be laughing then would you assholes?

Grovyle, who had just stepped out of the kitchen, noticed Will scowling at the blank TV screen. "Gro?" She said. Will couldn't hear her though; he was too lost in thought. She hated seeing him like this; it was worse then seeing him in his slump. Grovyle hopped over the arm of the couch and stood next to Will. She was slightly taller then him when he was sitting down.

"Grovyle." She said while tapping him on the shoulder. He said nothing and continued to scowl. Grovyle had already had enough; she wrapped both arms around him and hugged him from the side; it was always a surefire way to bring him down to earth. Will's scowl disappeared and was replaced with a sad look when he saw his Grovyle. Her eyes were closed and her grip was uncomfortably tight but Will knew why. He turned his body so that he could hug her back. Once both of his arms were around her she sighed and loosened her grip. He closed his eyes and patted her gently on the back. "Everything is gonna be alright, I just got a little angry at the news that's all." Grovyle began to rub his back up and down with the blunt side of her claw. Will felt a slight stirring below and his eyes shot open, he slid backwards out of her grip. "Gotta get ready for work now see ya." Without waiting for a reply he sped down the hallway.

That was a little too close, not worth life in prison.

Grovyle let out a disappointed groan but knew why he did what he did. Not only were the laws concerning pokemon 'abusers' getting more strict but the methods of catching said abusers were too. If you're even suspected of having relations with your pokemon police have the grounds to search your house for incriminating evidence. If anything at all is found, your pokemon could be subject to a medical examination to see if they've been abused or raped in anyway. If something is found there then DNA tests are performed on the pokemon's, and/or human's, insides. They've even gone as far as to place both the pokemon and its master under lie detectors. It was for these reasons that Grovyle has kept herself in check and her desires to herself. Sure Will had thought about it himself.

Who hasn't?

But he just couldn't take the risk. His house was situated right in between two other houses, not only that but the houses in this neighborhood are so close that you could literally step out of one window and into someone's house. The sounds of sex aren't exactly quiet and with his neighbors being Followers they'd be sure to report the sounds that they heard.

All the way at the end of the hall, past the kitchen and Will's room, there was a bathroom on the left. He stepped inside and switched the lights on. It was small and just as plain as the rest of the house. The only thing that stood out was the 'puke green' bathroom mat in the middle of the floor. The only reason Will hadn't thrown it out because it was a gift from his mother.

She has such horrible tastes

Since he took showers right before bed Will decided long ago that he wouldn't take them the morning after.

Saves time.

Will quickly washed his face but wash isn't the right term. He splashed water on his face and walked out of the bathroom, switching the lights off as he left. Directly in front of him was the closet. Will barely opened it, reached inside, and pulled out a white dress shirt. Though he didn't have to dress formally, his boss demanded every employee at least dress somewhat professionally. He slipped his arms through the sleeves and buttoned it up as he walked down the hallway. Will walked past the couch as he finished with the last button, Grovyle was still there but since she was sitting down all that could be seen of her was the leaf-like protrusion on her head.

"Leaving now, you know when I'll be back." He looked over expecting to see some sort of wave or goodbye gesture but Grovyle didn't move. Will stared at her for a moment then grabbed his wallet off of the small table. As he opened the door he looked back at Grovyle one last time, she hadn't moved. He sighed. "Lock the door when I leave." He left and closed the door behind him.

Within about 45 minutes Will had reached his workplace. Everyday he walked to the train station and took the train into town. Once he was in town there were cabs and buses to get him anywhere he needed. The building was modest, only as big as it needed to be. Will put his fake smile on and entered the building.

Five days a week for the past three years I've done this routine. I walk through the front door and I'm greeted by Carol the receptionist at the front desk. I walk down the hallway past my boss' door; no matter what time I'm here he'll say I'm early or late. I sit down for three hours, go on break, come back for another three hours, and leave. Any socializing I do is brief and uneventful. Sigh, it used to be fun around here. I thought being a graphic designer was my dream. Remember that poster in my room? I designed it, it was the first poster I ever designed and it's what got me the job here. Most of what I draw and design is pokemon related and I used to be the best at it...but lately, as in a year and a half ago, people have said my designs lack the luster they used to, gee I wonder why. Anyway now I'm just another designer here, gets the bills paid.

Will walked past the front desk but noticed the receptionist was gone.

Must be in the bathroom, happens, been here longer then I have, she's pretty nonchalant about this job.

As he walk passed his boss' door Will noticed he was gone too.

...Must be doing rounds. You know when he walks around and pretends he's important by hovering over us making sure we're working. Asshole.

Will sighed and continued down the hallway. When he reached the main area he was surprised to see everyone lounging around and playing games.

"...the fuck?"

"Serif!"

My last name, everyone at work calls me that. I kinda like it. As for who that is, the only person that squeaky voice could belong to is Keith, he's the only one who could qualify as a friend.

Will turned to the right see Keith running toward him. Keith was the only one in the office who actually wore full formal attire. Black dress pants, a white dress shirt, and a red tie. He skidded to stop and was panting lightly.

"Keith what's going on? Is it the boss' birthday or something?"

"No that's two months from now, but didn't you hear?!"

Will raised an eyebrow.

"The boss was caught having sex with his flareon! He got arrested earlier today. Since we're still on the payroll we figured we'd just hang around today and get paid before we go out of business...you ok Serif?"

Will's face contorting and creating a wide array of strange expressions.

_Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't "_PHBTTTT ha ha ha ha! Oh wow, this is just...ha ha ha ho ho! Ohhhhhhhhh man that's great."

"I thought you'd take losing your job you know...not as well?"

"Ha ha I thought so too but man I hated that guy and it looks like everyone else did too." Absolutely everyone in the office was smiling and laughing.

Keith started to laugh too. "Just be glad the boss is, well was, a horrible businessman."

He really was. I have no idea how he kept this place running as long it did. Hmph, not my problem, thanks to his poor decisions we're all still getting paid. See the boss made a horrible choice two years back, he basically made it so he doesn't have to sign off on our checks; the money comes directly to us. He did it because on several occasions he got complaints for not signing off on the checks meaning people didn't get paid. He said he was just really busy but we all know he was just too lazy to. Oh but I haven't gotten to the greatest part yet, the boss was a major anti-pokephilia advocate. What a hypocritical bitch, I hope he enjoys life in prison.

"Come on Serif party with us, the guys just came back from a beer run."

Will sighed but still had a smile on his face. "Ahhh I can't, I got some stuff to do. Like search for a new job."

"Aw come on."

"Sorry Keith maybe later. If I don't have any time alone how will I ever get over the tragic event that befell our boss?" For a second Will sounded like he was acting in a play.

"Ha ha alright Serif, don't stress yourself out on it." You can't get any more sarcastic then he just did.

Will walked out of the building smiling wider then he ever had.

Never thought I'd be so happy to lose a job. Today's gonna be a good day.

45 minutes later Will was back in front of his house. His smile had faded slightly but it was still stronger then it's been in awhile. He slid his key into door and pulled it open. Grovyle was usually waiting for him to get home but it didn't surprise him that she wasn't there this time, after all he was about four hours earlier then usual. He closed the door behind him and walked down the hall towards the bathroom. Halfway there Will began to hear strange sounds.

What the hell is that? Sounds...squishy, I can't really describe it any other way.

The bathroom door was wide open and the light was on. When Will finally made it there his eyes opened as wide as they could and his mouth hung halfway open. Sitting on the toilet seat was his Grovyle, her eyes closed and her claw deep in her nether region. It was rapidly moving in and out creating that "squishy" sound Will described. She was blushing heavily and her mouth was hanging wide open.

Will didn't move or make sound; he was mesmerized by the sight. Grovyle was panting loudly; she knew just where to touch to get the maximum amount of pleasure. As she sped her hand up she started to leak more and more into toilet. She placed her second claw over her entrance and thrust it in. Will was worried for a second about her hurting herself with her claws but quickly tossed the idea aside as he knew she probably knew how not to hurt herself.

Grovyle began thrusting into herself even faster then before. The added amount of pleasure was starting to become too much and she fell forward, using her spare claw to prop herself up on the toilet seat. Out of her mouth came a quiet "Gro" every time she pushed a claw inside. If Will could understand what she was saying he might have lost it. The "gro's" got louder and louder as time went on. Suddenly her spare claw tightened around the seat and she began to tremble. With her eyes still closed she threw her head back and let out one last "Grovyle!" before the pleasure overtook her and came into toilet. Much of it splattered on the toilet seat but Grovyle didn't care, she had four hours left to clean it up, or so she thought.

She sat there in the afterglow for a minute with her head still resting on the toilet's back. As soon as her panting died down Grovyle finally opened her eyes to see Will standing in the doorway. His mouth was still half open and his eyes were still as wide as dinner plates, the only difference was that at this point Will had pitched a tent vertically in his pants but Grovyle didn't notice. She was too busy looking in shock at Will's face. After a minute of staring Grovyle recovered from the shock and turned quickly away from Will in embarrassment. This brought Will back to earth, he finally noticed his tent and jumped out of the doorway. There was an awkward silence for five straight minutes afterwards. Neither of them knew what to say or do.

Will waited until his erection died down before finally saying "Grovyle...I'm gonna...t-take a walk okay?" All he heard was a half-hearted "Gro..." Will took that as an "okay" and made his way back down the hall. "...Later Grovyle." He didn't get a reply. Grovyle heard the front door close but didn't move. There was only thing one her mind: Will. The thought of him watching her made her moist again.

For the next few hours Will walked around aimlessly thinking about what he saw. He walked through the city for awhile, down the ocean side, and finally ended up walking through the park. He took the central path through the middle of the park; it was a long stone walkway that went straight through the center.

Does she do that every time I leave? That would explain how she spends her free time everyday. Now that I think about it she's never mated with anyone, as far as I know anyway. Who could she be thinking about? Another Grovyle? Could she be thinking about me? No she doesn't like me that way. But if she really needed I would...if I could. Damn this world, what does everyone have against these kind of relationships. Anyone with a brain could see they're legitimate. Pokemon can consent and humans can consent, is it that hard to see? Maybe that's just it; I'm living in a world full of brainless morons. People who have had their views drilled into their head since birth and don't have the mental capacity to think otherwise. There has to be a way to show them they're wrong. The evidence is everywhere I just need to bring it to light. But how...maybe if I-

"Young man." Will's train of thought was broken. To his left sitting on a park bench was an old man. He was dressed in grey suit and hat. He had a long white beard and eyebrows so bushy that they covered his eyes. In his hand was a long wooden cane, looked like it was hand carved right out of a tree.

Will looked to his left and right. "Me?"

The old man nodded and motioned for Will to come closer. He shrugged his shoulders and walked to the man. As Will got closer he was able to make out some of the wrinkles on his hands and face. The old man had to 70 at least and that was being nice.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."

Great, talking to senile old man in the middle of the park.

"Senile? Far from it my boy."

Will took a step back in shock. He stared at the man for a second before narrowing his eyes.

Achoo.

"Gesundheit."

"How the fu-"

"Come, sit down, I have much to tell you."

Will was definitely reluctant to get anywhere near the man after that. He was about to turn and run when the old man said "And here I thought I had met a fellow Thinker."

Will stopped in his tracks and turned to old man slightly angry. "Hey that's my term, how the hell do you-"

"Siiit." The old man tapped the bench with his cane. Will stared him again then let out a frustrated sigh. He walked back to the bench and sat down.

"Tell me young Thinker, what's on your mind?"

"Ugh, why are you asking me what you already know? You can read my mind."

"Only the forefront boy, tell me what's going on deeper inside that head of yours."

Will was a bit weary of the old man. He didn't want to say too much because for all he knew this could just be an undercover cop trying to bust random pokephiles. He saw a TV show on it once. He'd have to choose his words carefully if he wanted to avoid potentially exposing himself.

"What are your views on pokephilia old man?"

The old man gave a raspy laugh. "I think it's wrong to have such harsh judgments on its offenders."

Choosing your words carefully too I see.

"But," the old man continued. "Given the opportunity I'd gladly fuck a pokemon or two."

Will almost fell off of the bench. "WHOA old man that was kind of abrupt don't you think? What if I was an undercover cop I'd have to arrest you; or hell any normal person would report you."

"But you aren't any normal person are you? You and I are Thinkers. Hmph, I'm starting to like that term, I may have to use it more often." The old man gave another raspy laugh.

Will just stared at him. "So...what did you bring me over here for?"

The old man stopped laughing but had a small smile on his face. "Tell me young man, have you ever heard of The Pokemon Club?"

The Pokemon Club, it's a rumored underground club where humans can indulge in their fantasies with pokemon and vice versa. It's apparently so damn secretive that the police, and every normal person, deny its existence, mostly because no evidence of its existence has ever been found. I searched for about a year myself and turned up empty handed. I wanted to believe so bad that it existed but I'm pretty convinced it's just a pokephile's wet dream turned rumor, all a big ass hoax.

"Oh it's no hoax my boy, it exists, and you live closer then you think."

Will was undoubtedly skeptical. "Bullcrap, you show me proof or I'm going back to not caring."

The old man chuckled. "Proof? Don't have any of that here, you'll just have to see it for yourself." He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. From the wallet he pulled out a plain white card and handed it to Will.

"And this is?"

"Your ticket, your admittance to The Club."

Will flipped the card back and forth seeing nothing on both sides. "You're fucking with me right?"

"Look with a Thinker's eyes boy." The old man stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me my escort is here." Far down the path Will could see someone coming toward them. When the figure came into view he could make out a flowing white dress and a large red chest spike.

A gardevoir, wow what I wouldn't give to- shit, probably not wise to think about that around two mind readers.

"Oh don't worry I'm thinking about it too." The old man began another one of his raspy laughs. It kind of made Will smile this time.

"Oh by the way." The old man turned back to Will. "Turn your head."

Will blinked a few times. "Like this?" He turned his head the other way.

"Yes that's it." Without warning the old man took his cane and whacked the back of Will's head sending his contacts flying into the grass and exposing his silver eyes.

"What the fuck!?"

He pulled his cane back to his side. "Now those are the eyes of a Thinker. Take care boy." The gardevoir smiled at Will before walking with the old man down the path.

Will just sat rubbing the back of his head. "Crazy old bastard, I'll never find my contacts in the damn grass." He groaned and looked down at the card again. In shiny silver letters it had one long web address across it. www.ptohkeecplhuible.com "What kind of crazy ass name for a website is that?" On the back of the card, in the same silver lettering it said "Your password is your own."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean!?" Will looked down the path to try and spot the old man again but he seemed to have dissapeared. He looked back to the card again.

The club huh? What do I got to lose?

He slipped the card into his pocket and began to walk home, smiling the whole way.

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