FSE

Furry search engine

formerly SoFurry search engine

"For friends looking for a good prank, and a good laugh!"

"And don't forget my donut, Axel! I want--"

"Strawberry-glazed donut with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles, I know, I know!" sighed the coyote.

For all intents and purposes, Axel's roommate was a prime example of a full-fledged bully. The woman had been a plague in his life since she had moved in as his roommate- a situation forced upon him when his aunt came to him asking to help with hosting a very close friend's daughter; she used to behave coldly at first, but the moment she figured she could exploit Axel, he was sent straight to hell. Be it chores or errands, the girl always seemed to find a reason to degrade him, humiliate him, or both. Whenever she wasn't busy watching TV and littering the floor with beers, she was sending him to buy sweets, junk food, or the very drinks she covered the ground with. Of course, if he wanted to treat himself, he would always need to keep her posted- she'd never miss the chance to get a piece of whatever Axel was having, be it burgers, drinks, and everything in-between.

He held on surprisingly long, considering she was pretty much using him as a slave; but eventually the coyote had had enough, and decided it was time for some payback.

So the fur looked for a way to inconvenience his roommate- it had to be something as annoying as she was at least, but somehow inconspicuous enough to not be traced back to him. This immediately ruled out simple pranks like hiding her clothing, water buckets over the door, tripwires... No, he needed something as cruel physically as it was mentally.

One day, his search brought him to a strange, peculiar site. A quick browse showed it seemed to be an online store for a company specializing in ugly or strange critters- contrasting with the colorful, almost childish colors and layout of the site. Still, the product category labeled "Prankbugs" immediately caught his attention. "For those looking to have a good laugh!", it advertised. Scrolling down the page his eyes widened as he looked up the various creatures, most of them having unintelligible, weird or complicated names, and their effects. A malicious grin appeared on his face, widening with each page he read. While the "Bag'O'Pranks", offering a random selection of the bugs on the list, was tempting, he knew exactly what he wanted- and a few minutes and a couple clicks later, the order was processed. All he needed to do was wait.

Axel sighed with relief as he shoved the package under a pile of dirty clothing under his bed- now that his purchase was secure, he had to make sure his roommate wouldn't bust him in the middle of preparing his prank.

"Hey, dumb mutt!" came her voice from downstairs, "I'm thirsty!"

"Just get your own damn drink, Linda!"

"Do you really wanna make me come upstairs?"

Axel groaned in defeat, finishing up his camouflage before heading down. Thankfully, the woman didn't seem to find anything else to torment him with for most of the evening. When he heard her snoring on the couch in front of the TV, he knew this was his chance.

Back in his bedroom, the coyote unveiled his treasure, ripping the cardboard into pieces and staring in awe at the box labeled "Lil' Pals Inc: Because not all crawlies are creepy; some are happy!" with a little smiley face next to the strange motto.

Axel simply shrugged it off; it wasn't his kind of thing, and he didn't even like bugs anyway, all he wanted was to get back at his roommate. Opening up the box, he found two smaller containers: one with the image of a tiny black worm on it, the other with a round, yellow-beige arthropod. The former reminded him of a single human hair, while the other looked more like... a pimple? Weird.

Grabbing the first item - the one with the worm - Axel took a peek inside: a little transparent box which contained a couple of whatever those things were, along with an instructions manual. He opened it, briefly skimming over it; Capillari Olfacteris, caused excessive hair growth, coarse hair, sweating and blah blah blah... whatever, perfect, it was all he needed to know. He was aware Linda was obsessed with body hygiene, and shaved constantly on top of making sure she always showered tons and never smelled anything other than soap or perfume- getting her "dirty" would drive her crazy. He even ignored the warnings and precautions paragraphs, dropping the manual back in the container and heading for the living room. Carefully scooting close to the couch, he opened the plastic pocket, flipped it and shook it over the furniture, watching the minuscule critters plop on it, before bailing out as fast and silently as he could. Once back in his bedroom he hid the box again, figuring he'd wait a little while before beginning "phase two".

The first symptoms appeared within a few days; while Axel made his way through the living room, he spotted Linda sitting on the couch with her arms spread over the back rest, two noticeable spots of sweat in the armpit areas.

"Damn girl, it's not even that hot today. How are you even sweating up that much of a storm?" teased the coyote.

"The fu...?!" The woman looked down, before bringing her arms back together, her face turning red with embarrassment. "Mind your own fucking business, twerp!"

Axel snickered before disappearing, leaving his roommate to wallow in her shame.

Unfortunately for Linda, her troubles would only worsen; by the end of the week she noticed her armpits were much hairier than usual, causing her to sigh in annoyment.

"Removing all of this is gonna be a pain in the ass..."

Her nose twitched slightly as she picked up a distinct smell when lifting her arm- she was smellier too. She simply shrugged it off, figuring she just hadn't put enough soap and perfume after her morning shower. So she went and showered and shaved and moisturized, making sure to apply extra soap, cream and deodorant.

And yet, the next morning, the first thing she noticed upon waking up was the pungent smell coming from her sweaty pajamas. The armpit area was caked with sweat, so much so it stained the bed sheets and blanket. Livid, the woman rushed to the bathroom to clean up, only to find out her hair had partially regrown.

"What the hell... Why the fuck are they growing so fast?!"

After her shower, she reached for her shaver, but stopped for a moment. Checking her armpits again, she realized they weren't that big yet, and she could probably shave tomorrow, hiding whatever she had under sleeved shirts- she was going to be late for her rendezvous with some friends at the mall.

Axel grinned the second the girl slammed the door shut behind her- since she was gone and the first parasite was clearly working, he knew now was the time to begin the long-awaited "phase 2" of his revenge plan. Pulling the package out from under his bed once more, he grabbed the second box: much smaller this time, and he could barely see anything in it; a much closer look allowed him to see tiny, almost invisible dots littering the inside.

"Holy shit... There's no way she's seeing those. I'm putting these all over her bed!"

Not even bothering to read the manual this time, the coyote simply sneaked into his roommate's bedroom, before carefully opening the box, turning it upside down and emptying its contents under the girl's blanket, unable to hold back his maniacal snickering as he left.

What the coyote didn't expect, however, was to be woken up by a shriek the next morning. He dashed out of his bed, heart pounding in his chest; he knew if anything happened to Linda, his aunt was going to kill him- perhaps literally.

He barged into the bathroom, screaming. "Linda!! What's wrong?!"

"N-Nothing! I'm fucking naked you dumbass, get the hell out right now!"

The coyote yelped, closing the door just enough to block a flying bottle of moisturizer thrown his way.

"Okay, okay, geez! No need to get violent!"

"I SAID GET! OUT!!"

Mumbling to himself, Axel fled the scene, before remembering his little "prank" from yesterday. Maybe something had happened to Linda because of the bugs?

In the bathroom, the woman removed her towel, staring at her privates in horror: on her groin was a large, yellow, hideous wart, drooling down to her genitals. She had barely touched it and yet the thing had popped violently. Not only that but her armpits were stupidly fuzzy, looking like she hadn't shaved in months, and even though the weather was fairly tame, she was sweating like a pig.

"What the fuck is happening to me... oh my god, gross, gross, gross...!" she whined, tearing up.

A few minutes later she was in the middle of the shower, sniffling, thoroughly rubbing her armpits with soap. At least she had completely washed the pustule away, but no matter how much soap she put, she could smell the faint odor of unwashed armpits. After about ten minutes washing the same spots, she hopped out of the shower, figuring deodorant would be enough to mask the barely noticeable scent- yet when she was done drying herself off her armpits were already sweaty again, and the smell had returned badly enough for her to notice it without even lifting her armpits.

"Oh my god, what the hell... I haven't even shaved yet...!"

After swiftly rinsing her pits the woman started shaving, watching in the mirror as the abnormally thick hair rained down into the sink. No matter how hard she tried, she could see the carpet of black dots just under her skin, out of her shaver's reach. She wasn't willing to try any harder either, too afraid of damaging her soft, precious skin. At least, the smell seemed to have calmed down.

"Fuck it... Deodorant's better be enough!..."

The woman rolled the product at least a dozen times over her armpits, before finally heading out of the bathroom. The area around the pimple she had removed still itched uncomfortably- she sighed, hoping it would calm down eventually.

It didn't. Linda began wondering if she had maybe died in her sleep and been sent to purgatory- or maybe she was having a nightmare? Both seemed plausible enough to explain whatever was wrong with her. Over the next few weeks the obnoxious hairiness had spread to her crotch, with her armpits irredeemably lost, having grown forests of hair so thick it slightly forced her arms away from her body. The smell constantly plagued her nose, making her sick, the pungent stench unavoidable no matter how many times she shaved, applied deodorant, showered, and everything in-between.

As for her crotch, the worst thing wasn't even the hair growth- it was the plethora of vile pustules spreading all over the place, the bloated bubbles popping and splattering all over her skin, showering it in that viscous, gross, nauseating yellow pus. The disgusting things had even reached her outer labia, which was way too close to her vagina for her tastes.

Eventually, Linda began wondering if she was hallucinating. If perhaps she should be seeing a dermatologist, figure out what the fuck is wrong with her. It was difficult hiding all of this to Axel, and the coyote had already picked up on her stench, often making comments or asking her if she had showered.

After two months, Axel could barely believe it, but he started to feel bad for her. Sure, she wasn't bullying him anymore, but that was because she was too focused on her own problems to find any time for it; she grew paranoid, looked depressed, and behaved even colder than usual... He could even sometimes hear her sobbing in her bedroom. And honestly, he kinda empathized with her; he would be crying under his blanket too if he had turned into a super gross person with ugly, excessively sweaty body hair all over the place and nauseating pustules all over his skin. When he had read on the site the effects were supposed to be temporary, he expected something that would last a couple weeks at most, but this was getting worrying. He couldn't tell Linda anything either; she would kill him if she learned. This meant he had to figure something out by himself.

But what could he do? Sending an email to that company saying "Hey, I bought your stuff to prank my roommate and now she won't stop crying" felt like the stupidest idea of the century. Unless... Yes! He could perhaps disguise it as a product malfunctioning and asking for a refund... No, a refund wouldn't help solve the problem.

After a whole evening of trying to crack the case, the coyote gave up; he figured he'd get some rest first, then investigate his package tomorrow, first thing in the morning...

The next day, Axel woke up the same as usual- drowsy, and a little bit dazed. Enough that it took him a few seconds to notice something wet was oozing down his muzzle. Confused, the coyote reached out and wiped a sample off with his finger, which was now coated in... a yellow fluid?

With his heart sinking, the fur dashed into the bathroom. The first thing he noticed when staring in the mirror was the humongous pustule on his face, partially popped and oozing its filthy payload down his face.

"... Shit."