FSE

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Cirrus by Kanga Liu

Chapter 2

As I stepped out of the apartment to head for my early morning class, the wind blew all over me in every direction and felt like knives stabbing right into my skin. Zipping up my coat as I walked past Cirrus' room, I ran down the stairs and up the street to catch the next bus which came just as I made it to the stop. Even though I pretty much hated cold mornings, I always looked forward to seeing my best friend at the community college I went to. The bus eventually dropped me off at the stop in front of the Seattle Community College and I immediately saw the black and gray furred wolf waiting for me by the front entrance, bobbing his head along to some music he was listening to from his iPod. He hadn't seen me yet, so he just stood in place patiently waiting for me with his book bag slung only over his left shoulder and a large biology book held in the other arm. As I walked closer to him, he noticed my presence and took out the headphones from his big pointy ears.

"Hey," he said, turning off his iPod and stuffing it into his jacket pocket. "You got here pretty quick. We got like twenty minutes to kill before class starts."

"Really?" I asked, surprised that I got here that quickly. "Well, that's good. I'm freezing, though, so let's get some coffee inside."

The school had a small cafe stand in the dining area that we both went to all the time. We got our usual drinks and found a table by a large glass window that showed the busy, rainy world outside of the building.

"I have a paper that's due next Monday," my friend said as he took his first sip of coffee. "I hate papers. It feels like I'm back in high school again."

"Tell me about it," I said as I took a sip from my cup. It was still too hot. "The only thing I have to do this week is study for my environmental science class. We're learning about freaking clouds right now, and it's really confusing."

I looked up from my cup of coffee to see my friend laughing. "Didn't you take that class because I told you it was super easy?"

"Yeah, I did," I said. "And I'm going to kill you for lying to me. That class is super hard!" I was only joking about killing him, but I probably wouldn't be able to even if I tried. The wolf was only a little bigger than me, but I knew he had twice the strength. Back in high school he played football, and even though he was never really put on the field that much, he still worked out every day in the weight room with the rest of the players on the team.

My friend laughed at that. "You never ask me to help you."

"Only because you never offer to, Jazz," I sighed.

The wolf's name was actually Jaztiin, but I called him Jazz for short. He was from the Middle East, but didn't follow his parents' Muslim traditions and spoke perfect English. He had dark gray fur with small patches of black all over his body and one over his right eye, which I found really cool. He didn't like it, because it made him look like he got punched in the eye, but I thought it made him look tough... and maybe even a little... I don't know... sexy, maybe?

Jazz was the only friend I ever had, and he stuck with me through the toughest times. I loved the guy, and he was always honest to me. The toughest part of my life was telling him for the first time that I was going out with a guy named Shannon when we were juniors in high school, but he didn't change his attitude towards me. In fact, he hugged me and told me that he was glad that I was being honest with him. I couldn't ask for a better friend.

There were times when I had feelings for him, but knew that I was only putting my friendship in jeopardy. For all I knew, he was straight. Although he was single now, he had gone out with two very pretty girls in high school... and even had sex with a girl he met at a club for his eighteenth birthday. So, even though I was a little attracted to Jazz, I knew that it would be a huge risk to go for him. I would rather die than lose the last living person who understood me. And plus, ever since Shannon was gone, I pretty much became depressingly celibate.

"So," I said, waiting for my coffee to cool. "The new guy finally moved in next door to me."

"What's he like?" Jazz asked.

"He's a really young snow rabbit," I said. "He told me he's twenty-one, but he lives in the room by himself."

Jazz smiled. "That's pretty sweet."

"Sure is," I agreed. "But he's really weird. I mean, nothing specific about him that I could point out, but just in general he is really strange."

"You find him cute, don't you?" Jazz asked, and judging from his little smirk I could tell it was just a joke. But still, I hesitated at the question. Did I find him cute? I remembered how I felt when I looked into his face, smiling at me with that cute smile he had. I guess I found him a little attractive, but I wasn't going to admit that about a guy who pretty much annoyed me and ruined my plans for yesterday. The stupid guy nearly got me caught cutting myself! If my mom ever found out about that, she would quit her job just to keep me in her sight and make sure I didn't commit suicide--which isn't such a bad idea to me these days.

"Over my dead body," I replied coldly, taking another drink from my cup. The coffee was too cold now. I shouldn't have waited so long for it to cool down. When I looked back at Jazz, I saw a look of sympathy on his face. "What?"

"Is it still bothering you?" he asked with a bit of concern in his voice. I knew exactly what he was asking about.

I sighed. "Why, Jazz? Am I not allowed to think about it? Is it not supposed to bother me?"

"It's been a year--"

"Almost a year," I corrected him. As a matter of fact, it has been 8 months and fourteen days... but who's counting? "And, honestly... not really." There was silence as I tried to find the right words to answer him with. "I mean... I miss him." More silence. "A lot... but life moves on, right?"

Jazz nodded, but I was mostly trying to convince myself. When I checked the time on my phone, I drained the remains of my coffee and got up. "We should get to class right now. It's gonna start in two minutes."

"Wow, already?" Jazz looked up at me in surprise. He looked so cute when his eyes widened like that.

"Yeah," I said, smiling. I swung my bag over my shoulder. "Let's go, before we're late!"

After we grabbed our stuff and threw away our cups, we walked to our first class together... nothing else was said between the two of us the entire way.

--

What Paris didn't know was that Jazz had recently been hiding some secrets from him. Ever since that day when Jazz saw how sad Paris looked at Shannon's funeral, he couldn't help but feel his heart fall deep into his stomach. Paris just looked so... vulnerable... and Jazz would have given up anything to have just held him close. He wanted to be the one to tell him everything was gonna be okay... and that he wanted to be the one who would always protect him. For some reason, however, for the past few weeks after the funeral, Jazz has had multiple dreams about Paris.

They would be on a grassy hill in the middle of a thunderstorm, and the only heat they had was from their bodies. They would be holding each other close with their faces only inches apart. Jazz would be caressing the fox's black paws and nibbling on his ear. Eventually, the dream would end with both of them removing their clothes... and at this point, Jazz would wake up... feeling the sweat on his body... and then cry, because he knew that what he was feeling could not be controlled. However, he was also too scared to reveal any of his true feelings to Paris. Paris loved Shannon, and Jazz knew he could never be compared to him.

Much less replace him.

So the best thing that Jazz could do was be his closest friend... and hope that one day he could grow to have the same feelings for him.

--

When my final class was over, I ran out of the classroom, out of the building, and made it to the bus stop outside just when the next bus arrived. I was out of breath as I swiped my bus pass when I got on, but I didn't care. I hated that environmental science class so much. The information from the lecture as a whole was jumbled up in my brain, but parts could still be recollected. Surprisingly, I at least managed to remember some of the leacture on how clouds affect our weather. Looking around, I saw that all the seats were taken, so I had no other choice but to stand in the aisle... with only the bar to hold onto for support. Standing in place and staring out one of the windows, I tried going over some of the clouds I learned about today in my head. There were the huge cumulonimbus clouds, which indicated bad weather. Then there were the stratus clouds, which hung in the middle layer of the atmosphere and looked like flat tissues. Lastly, there were... the feathery Cirrus clouds, which were the highest of all clouds in the atmosphere, and usually indicated that the weather was going to be nice and warm for that day.

Cirrus also happened to be the name of the rabbit who lived next door to me, which was a very strange coincidence. I brushed away the thought of Cirrus from my mind when the bus came to a stop in front of the Filet Market, which was about two blocks from my apartment. I couldn't believe it. I missed my stop all because I was thinking about that stupid rabbit.

It turns out that he can still annoy me without actually being here. Now, that's some power.

Anyways, I got off and started my journey back home. At this time, my mom should be gone from work, so I could now finish what I tried to do yesterday when that dumb rabbit interrupted me. I was going crazy, because I really needed that new cut. I knew it was going to relieve all of the sadness and emptiness I had kept bottled up inside me for the past few days, but apparently some people don't want me to achieve that satisfaction.

At that very moment, as I walked past the Thai restaurant down the street from my place, I saw a snowy-colored rabbit in a light red cardigan and dark jeans idly leaning against a black Escalade SUV. I was so close to home, too.

"Hey! I've been waiting for you!" Cirrus called out to me. I just stood there dumbfounded. Did he know that I was coming?

"You've been waiting for me," I repeated, just in a more cynical tone. "For what reason, Cirrus?"

That's when he started making his way towards me and--speaking at a normal tone, now--said, "I wanted to go to the mall, but I have no one to go with."

"That sucks," was all I could say. Rude, I know, but maybe that's what it took in order for him to get the hint.

"It does," he said, smiling, which meant he didn't get the hint at all. "But it wouldn't if you came with me."

At this statement, I rubbed my eyes with irritation. I just couldn't believe it. He was trying to foil my plans for cutting again. "I can't," I managed to say in a somewhat nice manner. "I have a ton of homework to do and--"

"I promise it won't take long," he said. "We'll take my ride and be back in an hour."

I looked over at the black Escalade when he said that. "That's your car?" I asked, pointing at it.

"Pretty much," he said with a shrug.

What the hell kind of answer was that_?_ was what I wanted to say, but instead I just rolled my eyes. "Fine!" I gave in. "I'll go with you, but we have to be back in an hour!"

"That's my promise," he said, smiling--knowing that he had won once again.

So, the two of us got in his car that was "pretty much" his, and he began driving to the Northgate Mall. As I relaxed my body into the passenger seat, I felt the smooth leather of the chair against my back and ass. It felt so good. I, then, looked over at the rabbit driving and suddenly felt very uncomfortable. Was this a date? When he looked over and caught me looking at him, I instantly turned my head away. I could tell from the heat I felt on my face that it was probably burning red.

"S-so," I said to break the awkwardness. "What do you have to go to the mall for?"

I looked back at the rabbit to see him shrug. "I guess I just wanted to do something fun with you, Paris."

I was about to ask why he wanted to do something fun with me, but stopped when another thought came up. "Um... you know, I don't think I ever told you my name."

At this, the rabbit suddenly tensed his shoulders, but relaxed them a second later. "Yes, you did."

I thought about that for a minute. "No," I said. "I really don't think I did. I only got your name the other day, but I was in too much of a hurry to tell you mine."

"I remember you specifically said, 'Your name is Cirrus? That's cool, my name is Paris. Well, gotta go!'" Cirrus said, lowering his tone in an effort to mimic my voice.

"I did not!" I cried, annoyed. I remembered everything I said the other day with crystal clear accuracy. "And I do not sound like that!"

"How else would I know your name, then?" he asked. At this, we stopped at a red light and he turned to look directly into my eyes.

I shifted in my seat a little, feeling like I was being interrogated for lying. Now, I was actually kind of questioning my own memories. It must be true to some extent, because if I hadn't told him my name, how else would he know it? For the rest of the ride, we sat in silence--which was fine with me, because I was done talking with him. When we parked down the street from the mall, I got out, slammed the door, and walked by his side without saying a single word.

"I thought maybe we could get something to eat, first." Cirrus said, breaking the silence as if everything was just fine between the two of us.

"Okay, sure," I mumbled. Cirrus led the way, and I just followed him to the food court at the top floor of the mall. We ended up eating from the Mediterranean Grill, which happened to be one of my favorite places to eat at the Northgate food court. We both ordered our meals and found a secluded table in the corner. Looking around, I noticed that the mall was actually quite empty today. I loved it this way, because I hated places with big crowds.

"So," said the bunny sitting in front of me. I turned back to look at him. He was already eating his food, so I took this as the cue to start on mine. "You probably think I'm really weird, don't you?"

"What makes you think that?" I asked, mainly because I thought I did such a great job of hiding what I truly thought about him.

"Well, why did you lie about having homework just so you wouldn't come to the mall with me?" He asked this so nonchalantly that it made me stop chewing on my food for a moment to debate whether he was actually being serious or just joking.

"Wait... I wasn't lying about that, though," I said defensively.

"Paris," he sighed. "I could just tell. Are you gonna be honest or not?" This time he looked straight at me, with eyes that looked... a little hurt.

My stomach churned from looking at those big, glossy eyes. "Well..." I paused for a moment. I had to think of what I was going to say carefully. I didn't want to hurt his feelings even more. "I just... found it really weird that you would ask to take me out when you barely know me. That's all."

Cirrus nodded. "Why? Can't a guy ask another guy out on a date?" At this, I choked on the food I had in my mouth and started coughing uncontrollably. Cirrus looked at me, worried. "Whoa! Are you okay?"

I coughed a few more times before I swigged half of the coke in my cup to drown the food down my throat, and coughed even more until I could finally breathe again. Was he being serious? Was he... also gay? I looked at him for a while and saw that Cirrus was sort of pretty... but a lot of straight guys these days were! I guess I always had a good idea, but my gaydar just never completely set off on him.

"Yeah, I'm good," I finally answered. Cirrus instantly looked relieved. "Wait, so... this is a date?"

"Well..." Cirrus said, his ears flat against his head. "I kind of want it to be."

"So, you can tell that I'm..." I couldn't finish the sentence.

Cirrus understood the incomplete question. "It was just a hunch."

I just sat in my seat, not very hungry anymore. The situation just seemed too good to be true. Out of nowhere, a decent guy just moves in next door and asks me out on a date? It just sounded too much of like a bad romantic comedy.

"I'm finished with my food," Cirrus said, returning me back from my mixed-up thoughts. "You're not touching yours. Does that mean you're full?"

I just nodded. With that, he stood up, took both of our trays, and threw away our trash. I also got up and followed behind him. When he turned around, my muzzle and his snout were only a few inches apart. We stood there for a while, the two of us blushing. It was probably only for a few seconds, but it felt like I stared into his eyes for hours... maybe even days... or years. I was the first to turn away and tried to act like nothing just happened. "So, what do you wanna do, now?"

"Well," he said, walking by my side. "we are at a mall. Why not look around and shop?"

We ended up staying at the mall longer than I initially wanted to. Instead of getting back home in an hour, we got back in five hours. I didn't want to admit it, but I ended up having a lot of fun. We mostly went window-shopping and played around at the arcade for a little while, but sometimes we did some small things like eat fancy caramel apples and throw coins into the fountain outside. When we drove back to our apartments, the two of us got out and walked up the stairs to the third floor. When we reached Cirrus' door, I turned around to face him. If this was, in fact, a date, then something else should happen right now at this very moment.

"I guess I had a really good time today," I said. He looked at me with those eyes, as if he could see right through me.

"You had a blast, admit it."

I kicked the ground with my foot. "Why should I?" After all, he did still ruin my plans for today... once again. But still, I felt that today was much more worthwhile than it would have if I just went straight home to slit my wrist.

Cirrus just shook his head. "Wanna come inside?" he asked, opening the door to his place. I looked up, sort of surprised. I wasn't expecting us to go this far so soon... but maybe he just wanted to talk some more. What's the harm in talking a little more?

"Sure," I said timidly as I followed him inside.

Once he closed the door, the two of us sat on his couch. It was a very plush, gold-satined loveseat, so the two of us were pushed toward each other quite closely. Sitting there in silence, I looked over at Cirrus and he looked right over at me. Suddenly my pants were getting a little tight.

"I... wanna show you something," he said in a very seductive tone.

My mouth was getting very dry. "What?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he just slowly removed his red cardigan and tossed it away onto the floor. My head was starting to feel a bit dizzy, because things were taking on a whole new turn of events. I was definitely not expecting to have sex after the date. I was hoping for it, maybe, but definitely not expecting it. Then, he started to tug off his tight gray t-shirt by slipping it right over his head. Taking in the view of his exposed chest sent feelings down into my tight jeans that I couldn't ignore. I was definitely getting hard. His body looked so smooth, and when I looked back up at his face I saw that beautiful smile he always gave... but this time, it was more sexy than annoying.

"I... wanna show you... this," he said. Before I could understand what was going on, he turned his back toward me and revealed what he has been hiding from me all along.

There were wings.

They were small, but like swan wings they were white and beautiful with soft tufts of feathers sticking out. At first, I didn't understand what they were. I held out my hand to gently touch them, and they responded by giving a slight flap. I withdrew my hand as if I had just touched molten lava.

I'm not gonna lie: this was freaking me out. But, at the same time, it was... amazing, and... beautiful. I had to remind myself to breath at this point.

"Why... do you have wings?" I asked, fairly certain that they were attached to his body. I tugged on them a little, just to make sure they were real. This made Cirrus wince a little, so I stopped.

"Paris," he said in a low voice, looking back at me over his shoulder. Seeing him in such a vulnerable pose made me even hungrier for him. "I'm an angel."

I couldn't believe it. I only heard of angels sent to people with really bad lives. I thought for a moment and realized that... I was a miserable wreck. An angel was what I needed right now.

As I felt something warm trickle down my cheek, I realized that I was now crying. "Are you... really?" I asked dumbly.

Cirrus nodded. "I was sent to look after you, Paris."

I wiped my eyes and couldn't help smiling. "Well, they sent me a really cute angel."

Cirrus' cheeks flushed pink at that--showing very well through his snowy white fur. "So... now that you know..." He turned back toward me and leaned forward. As I saw his face get close to mine, his moist tongue licked me on the nose and sent shivers down my spine. While he continued to cover me in passionate licks, he kicked off his shoes, unzipped his jeans and pulled them all the way off to reveal a pair of bright red briefs underneath. At this point, I was also removing my clothes: first with my jacket, then my t-shirt, and then finally my shoes and jeans. We were both in nothing but our skin-tight underwear and socks. As Cirrus and I started making out, he pressed his body even closer into mine, making our groins gently rub against each other.

I smiled during the middle of our make-out session. At least I'm not the only one that's hard. I pushed Cirrus onto his back on the couch and broke away from his kisses to pull off his underwear. With compliance--and a naughty little smile--he wiggled his hips to help. My breath was caught in my chest at the sight of his smooth, pink member already sticking up proudly. Cirrus blushed as I just admired the length and shape of it, cupping his furry little balls in my hand. With one last look at his cute little face, I lowered my head down to his cock and gently lapped at the tip with my tongue. I felt Cirrus' body shiver from the touch, and could already taste precum oozing from the slit. Opening my mouth even wider, I slid the entire member into my mouth and down my throat.

I haven't had a dick in my mouth for a long time... and it felt good.

As I bobbed my head up and down, I could hear Cirrus breathe harder. As I sucked, I let my tongue circle around the head every time I went back up to the surface for air. Judging from the squeaks I heard coming from him, I assumed he really liked that.

Suddenly, Cirrus held my head in his hands and lifted me away from his cock. I looked up to see him licking his lips. "I wanna taste yours, now."

After a final lick of his tip, I nodded and stood up. As he got down on his knees, I slowly pulled down my turquoise boxer-briefs and kicked them away. Once freed, my pink pole was already long and hard--jutting out at its full 8 inches. Cirrus stared at it with utmost affection, rubbing the tip against his pink nose.

"You've got a big, dangerous hook, don't you?" he asked in a hushed tone. He was referring to the way the shaft curved upward a little--making it look a lot like a fishing hook.

"It's pretty safe, I think," I said with a wink, growing more excited. "Why don't you give it a little lick?"

Without a response, Cirrus took out his tongue and started lapping up and down my shaft. I let out a small moan. I haven't felt pleasure like this in forever. His tongue felt so good going up and down my dick, but it felt even better when he started shoving it down his tight, moist throat. I let out a loud gasp as he started using his swallowing muscles to massage the entire length of my cock. It was a sensation my brain couldn't handle. I closed my eyes and let him work at it, and even started bucking my hips back in forth in a sort of slow rhythm. When I felt I was on the verge of climax, though, he pulled away. When I looked down, I saw a string of saliva connected from his lower lip to the tip of my penis.

"I want you to put that in somewhere else," he said as he got up on the couch and turned his back toward me. I immediately knew what he wanted, and I was willing to cooperate. Cirrus bent forward, sticking his ass up high into the air to expose his pink, smooth hole. The sight of it had my cock throbbing. Moving closer, I grabbed his soft ass cheeks and started massaging them, which got me a pleasant little moan from the little bunny. After a quick pat on his ass, I slid my member slowly inside of him--making sure to move in an inch with as much caution as possible.

He felt so tight and slick, and once my entire cock was deep within him, I let out a low groan. Nothing has ever felt so good. Cirrus let out little moans as well, apparently liking how it felt to be stretched out. After a few slow thrusts in and out of Cirrus' hole, I started quickening my pace, and soon I felt the head of my dick pounding deep into his prostate. With every thrust, Cirrus let out a little yelp of pleasure, which turned me on even more. My eyes wandered over to his cute little cottonball tail and grabbed it roughly for support. My eyes then wandered to the bright wings on his back, and was surprised to see that they were giving off quick little flaps every time I rammed myself deep inside of him. At this point, Cirrus was moving his hips along with the motion--pushing back into me whenever I pushed forward. The sound of Cirrus' cries and our balls slapping against each other was like toxic music to my ears, and as every second went by, the more I edged to my limit... and the more my knot was starting to grow.

"I... I'm gonna..." I couldn't finish the sentence. Instead, I let out a loud cry as I shoved my knot right inside of Cirrus with as much force as I could put. Cirrus--with his face buried into the sofa cushions--muffled out a high-pitched cry, flapping his wings at lightning-speed and sending white feathers flying everywhere. Gripping the sides of his hips--my fingers practically clawing into his skin--I felt myself empty my very soul into the depths of Cirrus' tailhole in many quick spurts. After every spurt, my body convulsed with it. Looking beneath Cirrus, I saw a puddle of his cum dribbling from his cock onto the couch cushion. After a minute, I wearily pulled out my softened length and flipped Cirrus over onto his back.

He looked so adorable laying flat on his back with his hips arched forward. I saw that his penis was also growing soft and back to normal, but there were still traces of cum stained around the head. When he smiled at me, I smiled back.

At that very moment, the face of a raccoon flashed in my head--a very sad face. I closed my eyes and shook my head. Another image flashed, and it was an angry face of the same raccoon. I pulled myself back, away from Cirrus as images of a raccoon with a bloody face flashed through my brain. Then, the face faded, leaving me feeling as if I had just been drowning in a boiling hot lake. My head hurt and my eyes began to water--from what, I really didn't know. "Oh, my God," I finally said under my breath, grabbing the sides of my throbbing temple. Either I was getting a major headache or the world was suddenly spinning really fast. Sweat was now dripping from my pores. As reality started to settle back, I saw a rabbit wearing a worried expression standing in front of me in nothing but his socks.

"What's wrong?" Cirrus asked, even though I could tell from the sound of his voice that he knew what was wrong. He was an angel after all, right? He has to know what I've been through and why I wanted to kill myself, or else he wouldn't be here! His ears laid flat against his head, as if expecting me to start yelling at him, but I didn't.

"I have to go," I said. That was it. I quickly dove for my clothes and dressed as quickly as I could.

"Yeah," was all Cirrus said. Probably all he could say.

"We shouldn't have done this," I added as I swiftly put on my shoes, and before Cirrus could even get his underwear on, I was already reaching for the door handle. I needed air. I needed to get out of here. I... needed to get away from him.

"Paris," Cirrus said, hurt dripping from his voice. This made me hesitate a second from escaping. "You could be happy, if you want--"

At that spun around in anger. "I was happy!" I yelled. I didn't mean to, but fuck it. I was angry, and he should know. "I mean, I was lonely... a-a-and pathetic!" There was a long pause as I stared at his face. Cirrus looked as if he was on the verge of tears, but I didn't care. "... But I was slowly getting over my problems... and now..." I turned away because I couldn't look at him anymore. "... I'm confused. You were supposed to just look after me so that I wouldn't do anything crazy, but now you just turned me crazier than ever. Thanks a fucking lot!"

From behind me, I could hear Cirrus wheezing for breath. "Getting over your problems?" he said, voice trembling. At that point, he started laughing. It was a very hoarse laughter that sounded more like gasps, as if he had just ran across the entire country, but I could tell that he was laughing. "You slit your wrists..." He sniffed back sobs, but I kept listening. I knew there was more coming. "... and keep a freaking journal of ways you want to kill yourself!"

I winced at his words, like whip lashes that burned into my skin. Like a screwdriver piercing right into my heart. "It's how I stop myself from feeling anything." I shook my head, knowing it was useless explaining myself. He would never understand. "And that journal is just what I think about every single night when I lie in bed hoping for Shannon to come back."

"He's never coming back, Paris."

"And I'm guessing you feel like you can replace him, right?" I spat. Tears were streaking down my cheeks, but I just smeared them across my face with the sleeve of my jacket and turned back around to face the dumb rabbit who ruined my life. "Right? Isn't that what you thought? You sick lie! Angel my ass! You're supposed to help me! But instead, you're no better than a fucking criminal--a sick child-molestor preying on a defenseless piece of shit with nowhere to go! A piece of shit so pathetic, he wouldn't even think twice about fucking a guy he just met twenty-four hours ago!"

Cirrus stayed silent for what felt like an eternity. Just as I swung back around to grab for the door handle, though, he said, "You're not pathetic." I wanted to scream, but I didn't have the energy in my body to. "And... you know you like me, too."

My muscles tensed at those words, because I knew deep down inside... they were true. "That's what you hoped for," was all I said before I swung open the apartment door and stormed out into the world I used to live just perfectly in. The funny thing was... the only place left for me to go was right next door. Judging from the lights turned off in the apartment, I knew my mom was asleep. After I locked the door, I charged straight into my room, shut the door, flung myself onto my bed... and cried as I remembered the face of the boy who haunted my dreams ever since he died.